SportsCrack Blog

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Looking for a great autograph piece to put on your wall? Well then check out the new Memorabilia page. We will be adding a lot of new stuff on there in the upcoming weeks and if you have any requests we can probably get it.

Check out this cool piece with an actual bench slab signed by Brady Quinn.

Friday, December 28, 2007

Visit our store page today and tomorrrow in order to get a limited special price for all our FUSC and Gaytors shirts.

$10 only on the 28th and 29th. Spread the word, buy the shirt, drink the drink.


If you watched last night's Holiday Bowl on ESPN you would have seen Mack Brown's stepson Chris Jessie make one of the all-time bonehead moves on the sideline. The Longhorns were about to recover a fumble when all hell broke loose. In Texas it was proclaimed "what in Bevo's t-bone fuck are you doing?" while the rest of the nation watched and wondered who the hell the guy was and why was he on the sideline if nobody could identify him.

Here is the video:

Umm, yeah, I don't think Jessie will be allowed anywhere near a sideline for the next 9 months. Good God, we have to wait another 9 torturous painful months till college football kicks off it's 2008 season. Anyways, Texas won the game. I'm not sure what it means since it's another Bowl game with really no significant meaning other than a "hey let's get shitfaced in San Diego and destroy their women" type of night for both the Longhorns and SunDevils. Actually that sounds like a win-win situation to me but I'm a semi-functional alcoholic.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

I hope all of you got something special for Christmas. If not then here is mine for all of you, Merry Christmas!

A lot more posts will be on the way as I preview the upcoming Bowl games.

Sunday, December 23, 2007


This video was released today on Roger Clemen's foundation website and I must say the guy refuses to go down without a fight. Of course he won't sue anybody or actually display any evidence of him being a saint during his playing career but he will continue to deny, deny, and again deny he did anything wrong. He is as defiant as Barry Bonds and unfortunately he thinks we are morons who can be persuaded to believe his lies. His arrogance is laughable.

Clemen's refusal to acknowledge his guilt is eerily similar to Pete Rose. Both guys should be in the Hall of Fame but both essentially fucked it up by lying to the public and themselves. At least some guys are being some what honest about their wrong doing and taking responsibility for their actions. With Clemens we will never get it until about 15 years down the road when he realizes he can make some money from a book about the real story of his drug use.

I can already see the title: "ROCKET FUEL."

What a dick!

Friday, December 21, 2007


Thursday, December 20, 2007

I know the game between Navy and Utah tonight means little if you didn't bet on the game but I did. I got the line at -7.5 in favor of Utah. I think with Paul Johnson leaving Navy to take the Georgia Tech job it pretty much makes Utah an overwhelming favorite to blow out the Naval Academy. Listen, I root for Navy to win all the time except when they play Notre Dame and even I think they are going to get their asses handed to them.

So take Utah with the points tonight. They are going to crush Navy by at least two touchdowns and a field goal. If they don't I will have to find a Mormon and make them drink a 12 pack of Cokes for their transgressions.

I think I found my victim!

The picture above was a give away for the Hurricanes back in the late 80's. No wonder there is so much lobbying going on for the big BCS games and bitching when they don't make it. Forget the money involved, what about the gifts the players get in their goody bag?

Look at what Navy and Utah players get for tonight's meaningless Poinsettia Bowl:

Gifts: Sony PSP Slim, case, Madden NFL 08, Fossil watch, Champion sweatshirt, cap

I'm sure they left off the free hookers and blow because of the sticky IRS issues.

Now look at what LSU and Ohio State players get for the BCS Championship Bowl:

Gifts: Nintendo Wii, Madden NFL 08 and two additional games, Majestic fleece pullover, New Era cap

Dude, you know parents are killing baby seals right now in order to get the Wii for their children and these fuckers get it for free.

I feel bad for the poor College Football players. It must suck to get free stuff and have hot chicks wanting to lick your balls at all times.

For those of you not familiar with Omar Hunter he is a 310 pound beast of a defensive tackle from Duluth, GA. Currently he is the 2nd rated defensive tackle in the country and is committed to Charlie Weis and Notre Dame. Yes, the same Notre Dame who is losing Trevor Laws to the NFL Draft and would seem to have an open spot for the heralded recruit to start right away. This is from today's AJC...

Hunter rethinking commitment to Irish

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Published on: 12/19/07
Buford defensive tackle Omar Hunter is having second thoughts about his commitment to Notre Dame, his coach said Wednesday.

Coach Jess Simpson said Hunter has not withdrawn his commitment to the Irish - yet. But he is giving strong consideration to both Florida and Southern California - with Florida being the more likely alternative to Notre Dame, Simpson said.

"I think he wants to take the holidays and reconsider things," Simpson said, "and possibly take a visit to Florida and [USC]."

The Irish just completed their worst year in school history, finishing 3-9. That's not the kind of season Hunter is used to, having just led Buford (15-0) to the Class AA championship. But Simpson said Notre Dame's 2007 performance is not Hunter's main concern.

"I don't think it was so much the season they had," he said. "I think he's just starting to reconsider where he's going to school and how far away it is and the weather and the climate, and how easy it is for his family to come see him."

There has never been a shortage of interest in Hunter, who is rated the second-best high school defensive tackle in the country by The 6-foot-1, 311-pound senior committed to Notre Dame in June, but has apparently become less certain in recent months.

Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis tried to firm up Hunter's commitment last week with a personal visit to Buford. And later in the week, USC coach Pete Carroll also showed up, urging Hunter to take another trip out west.

Hunter, who could not be reached for comment, did not have any visits planned as of Wednesday. He visited Florida and USC before committing to the Irish, and has enough time to see both schools again if he wants before signing a letter of intent in February.

"It's a good problem to have," Simpson said.

So now it appears "King O" as his teammates and friends call him is looking elsewhere with a little over a month remaining till National Signing Day. In the past couple of months Hunter has made it clear that he is 100% committed to the Irish. Now it appears he is having second thoughts with two great coaches in Urban Meyer and Pete Carroll circling the Duluth recruit and smelling blood.

If Notre Dame loses out on Hunter it would be a big loss to the current #1 ranked recruiting class. Hunter is one of 5 defensive linemen expected to come in the current class and compete for immediate playing time. And yes, Hunter is by far the best of them and most dominating in my opinion. This should make for an interesting month to see where Hunter decides to play his college ball. My fingers are crossed he remains committed to Notre Dame and just takes a visit to Florida with his teammate T.J. Pridemore and views it as a free vacation and nothing more.

Yeah, I know, wishful thinking on my part.

Leaving the poker party, late as usual, two friends compared notes. "I can never fool my wife," the first complained. "I turn off the car’s engine and coast into the garage, take off my shoes, sneak upstairs, and undress in the bathroom. But she always wakes up and yells at me for being out so late and leaving her alone."

"You’ve got the wrong technique, my friend," his buddy replied. "I roar into the garage, slam the door, stomp up the steps, rub my hand on my wife’s ass, and ask, ’How ’bout a little?’ and she pretends to be asleep."

Wednesday, December 19, 2007


Available now on our store page is the one of a kind "Deadly Duo 24-7" t-shirt. This shirt was designed for all the Georgia fans out there who wanted us to do a shirt in honor of #24 and #7. Well, here you go. The shirt is $17 and we are taking orders now with shipping starting this Friday. So get in your orders now, you can still get it before Christmas and the Sugar Bowl.

Oh man, this is going to get really interesting in Dallas. You knew it was just a matter of time before Terrell Owens completely destroyed the locker room chemistry. And now he is doing it for the Cowboys. This might get as exciting as watching Britney Spears and her family destroy people's views on Southerners. Owens had some choice words for Simpson and Carrie Underwood:

"Right now, Jessica Simpson is not a fan favorite in this locker room or in Texas Stadium," T.O. said. "I think with everything that has happened, and obviously the way Tony played and the comparison between her and Carrie Underwood, I think a lot of people feel like she's probably taking his focus away.

"Other than that, she was at the top of my list until last week."

Romo didn't make his usual Wednesday appearance in the locker room, so we didn't have a chance to get his reply to T.O.'s concern about Ms. Simpson. And T.O. isn't done dealing with her, either.

"I've got a message for her when we make the playoffs," T.O. said. "Just stay tuned."

I know what you are thinking. Big fucking deal if TO doesn't like her. Personally I don't give a shit but I can't wait to see how TO completely destroys the Cowboys SuperBowl chances by getting in pissing arguments with his quarterback.

Stay tuned.

I just got a call telling me the Baltimore Orioles are about to trade All-Star secondbaseman/admitted steroid user Brian Roberts to the Chicago Cubs for three players.

The players from the Cubs are Sean Gallagher, OF Matt Murton, and 2b Eric Patterson.

This trade if it in fact goes down is great for both sides. The Cubs get a leadoff hitter and an All-Star secondbasemen who will be a fan favorite in Wrigley. The Orioles get younger and a replacement at secondbase in Patterson, the younger brother of Corey. Murton could start in left or be flipped in another package for more players. Gallagher is another young starter who could either fill the back end of the rotation for the O's or come out of the bullpen.

Too bad the Cubs wouldn't give up Felix Pie. More to come later.

How many times can a billionaire get kicked in the nuts before dead hookers start floating up? Poor guy, here is his statement concerning the Big Tuna...

"Late last night it was revealed to the media by a source outside the Falcons that we were close to reaching an agreement with Bill Parcells to lead the club's football operations.

Prior to the information becoming public, we had reached an agreement in principle with Parcells, and we met with him this morning to complete the contract. At that time, we were made aware by Parcells that he was considering a revised offer from the Miami Dolphins. He later informed us that he would not be signing a contract with us.

We remain committed to looking at every option for building a championship-caliber team for our fans. I have stated we will leave no stone unturned in doing so, and this effort is one example of that. We gave it our best shot, and it didn't work out.

We will continue down the same overall path, proceeding with plans to hire a general manager and a head coach. We will identify and consider every strongly viable candidate for these positions, with the goal of hiring the best. Rich McKay remains President of the club and will retain general manager responsibilities until a new GM is hired.

We will be making no further comment on the Parcells matter."

Football has become a cut throat, turn your back and never trust a man's word kind of business. Or in this case the Big FUPA. Makes for interesting blog entries I must say. I think the Falcon's should still try to get Mike Singletary as their head coach and draft Darren McFadden. I would love to see a backfield combo of Jerious Norwood and D-MAC. Draft a guy like Joey Flacco in the 2nd or third round so you are not giving up a lot of money for a QB who is likely to fail. Build the team around those pieces and I can guarantee you I would pay for tickets again next year. Nose bleed tickets.

So how about that big Johan Santana trade? Oh yeah, it never happened. But don't get discouraged Red Sox and Yankees fans, I'm sure Bud Selig is working some back door plan in which you give up a couple of A level prospects for the game's best pitcher. It always seems to work out just fine for those teams and not the Twins. Actually from what I have heard from numerous sources is the Twins want two of these three in Jacoby Ellsbury, Jon Lester, and Clay Buchholz. The Red Sox and GM Theo Epstein are not budging and are willing to only give up one of those guys plus some other bits and pieces. The Red Sox are in an ideal position given they have a lot young premiere talent coming up through their system and already have a major league roster full of World Series winning depth. They don't have to make the trade for Santana but you know who would love to make the deal: the Yankees.

The Twins want at least two of the three of Ian Kennedy, Joba Chamberlain,
and Phil Hughes from the Yankees. The Yankees and Hank Steinbrenner have made it clear they are not trading Chamberlain. I know Joba was lights out last season but I think he is a flash in the pan. With Santana you know what you are getting and it just happens to be the best lefty in the game. I think if you are the Yankees you have to make this trade. There are no guarantees with prospects and as good as Chamberlain and Hughes could become in the future there is also a good chance they could flame out and have arm problems. Getting a guy like Santana makes them contenders with the Red Sox today. And if it takes a throw in like CF Melky Cabrera to get it done then I think they should do it.

The Orioles have already unloaded Miguel Tejada to the Astros for 5 players headlined by OF Luke Scott and SP Troy Patton. In my opinion it was an excellent trade for both teams. The Astros get an All-Star Shortstop who is just as good as Derek Jeter in my opinion if not better. Putting him in a lineup with Lance Berkman and Carlos Lee should be instant offense. Of course there are the steroid/B-12 issues but Tejada can still play the game when he is healthy.

The O's needed to unload Tejada in order to revamp a poorly run franchise which has been run into the ground by owner and douchebag extraordinaire Peter Angelos. Angelos has apparently waken up and realized the O's needed to be run by someone with some competence and without interference from himself. Enter Andy MacPhail. MacPhail started by taking the best player in the draft this past season in Georgia Tech catcher Matt Wieters. Wieters is a Scott Boras client and was deemed a hard signing for whomever drafted him. MacPhail knew he had to get him signed and more importantly knew the Baltimore faithful would lose all trust in him to get the ship turned around if he didn't. Fortunately for myself and many other Oriole fans they got a deal done at the last second. Let's just say if they didn't get him signed I would have been the first person to put flaming dog pooh in front of Angelos and MacPhail's house. I'm serious by the way. MacPhail next mission is to trade #1 ace Erik Bedard and All-Star secondbaseman Brian Roberts.

Bedard is a rare jewel in terms of trade bait. Unlike Santana, Bedard is locked up for another two years before he hits free agency. He is just now entering the prime of his career and is a top 5 starting pitcher in the game. Oh yeah, he is also a lefty who averages more than a strikeout per inning. You put Bedard on a playoff contending team and it will all of a sudden make them a serious World Series contender in my opinion.

Here are some of the rumors and/or near deals for Bedard so far:

LA Dodgers trade Matt Kemp, Jonathan Broxton, and another high end minor league player possibly two of them amongst Andy LaRoche, Clayton Kershaw, Andre Ethier, and Tony Abreau among others. Unfortunately for myself the Dodgers recently signed Japanese import Hiroki Kuroda to a silly contract in tune of 3 years at 35 million. I was hoping the O's would be able to poach Kemp and Kershaw from the Dodgers because I think both are going to be big stars and would fill seats for years to come in Camden Yards. So in other words I want to give a giant FU to Dodgers GM Ned Colletti for making it not happen. You could have made this Oriole fan sleep better at night. Instead now I must constantly drink and play with myself till I run out of the energy to think of ways to improve the O's, but that is neither here or there.

The Seattle Mariners have entered discussions supposedly offering some combination of Adam Jones, Jeff Clement, Wladimir Balentien, Brandon Morrow, and George Sherrill. Jones has future star written all over him and I believe Clement could be a really good catcher but is currently blocked by Kenji Johjima at the big league level. But of course the O's already have a good catcher in Ramon Hernandez who will be keeping the seat warm till Wieters is ready which could be as soon as September. Unless somehow the O's flipped Clement there really is no reason to make this trade with the Mariners. The O's need a shortstop to fill Tejada's spot and Luis Hernandez doesn't fit the suit in terms of hitting. Don't get me wrong though, if the Mariners offer up all those guys I would be willing to do the trade and through in a relief pitcher along with Bedard to make sure they are happy. But I don't see it happening especially if the M's sign Carlos Silva to the reported 4 year/44 million dollar deal in discussion. The Mariners are idiots if they give Silva that contract and decide to pass on a Bedard.

So that leaves the Cincinnati Reds who have made it known that OF Jay Bruce is off limits. Bruce is the #1 ranked minor leaguer and has star written all over him. I would love to see Bruce in the same outfield as current star Nick Markakis. In fact I would love it so much that I would be willing to trade Bedard straight up for Bruce. I know the O's would want more but there is no reason to get greedy. Bruce is the real deal. The Reds are trying to dump Homer Bailey, Joey Votto, and another lesser known minor leaguer for Bedard. I like Votto and think he could be a good everyday player at 1b but I'm starting to think Bailey is garbage. The Reds want to unload him and that tells me he isn't what everyone thinks he is which is a potential ace in the making. If the Reds want to offer up Bailey, Votto, and say Josh Hamilton I might do the deal. Hamilton is a wild card and we all know how prevalent heroin is around Baltimore. Yes it could be tempting. Just cough up Bruce and I'm good.

Other silent suitors for Bedard include the Braves(I don't want to hear it Braves fans, Glavine is shit!), Red Sox, Yankees, White Sox, and Angels. If the Red Sox want to offer up Ellsbury and Buchholz I would personally blow Epstein and make sure he was satisfied till no end. But that or a potential Yankees trade will never happen because they are in the AL East.


If this in fact happens it will be the best hire Falcons owner Arthur Blank has made since buying the team. Parcells is the perfect choice as VP of Football Operations. Parcells has a proven track record as a coach in turning a perennial loser into a winner. He has done it with the Giants, Jets, Patriots, and most recently the Cowboys. If anybody knows how to evaluate NFL talent and put it together into a winning combination it is none other than Bill Effing Parcells.

With Blank finally realizing GM Rich McKay simply wasn't getting the job done it will be interesting to see who Parcells hires as the new GM and coach. I'm a big fan of 49ers assistant head coach Mike Singletary. I think he would be an excellent choice as the face of the franchise right now. He has proven in Baltimore and San Francisco that he is an excellent teacher who values work ethic and most noticeably discipline. Discipline has gone bye-bye to the Falcons ever since they brought in questionable players like DeAngelo Hall. They need a coach that will hold them accountable and kick their ass at the same time. Singletary should be their man.

As for GM I have no clue. I wouldn't mind seeing Parcells take over in some form the GM duties. All I know is McKay is no longer in charge of the personnel and that alone is a significant improvement.

The Falcons franchise finally turned the page today with the hiring of Parcells. Now go out there and tank these last two games so you can get the #2 pick in the NFL Draft. It's what every logical clear thinking Falcon's fan wants right now.

UPDATE: Bill Parcells just turned down the job. The Falcons still suck balls. I blame all of this on Rich McKay. He sucks hairy donkey balls filled with Ed Hartwells and bad draft picks.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Wow, it's been ten years to this day that Chris Farley died way too early. I actually remember exactly where I was when I first heard the news of his passing. I had just drove home for Christmas break from college up in Maryland when the first thing my Mom told me was she "was sorry to hear about Chris Farley." Of course my Mom knew how big of a fan I was since I would go to see all of his movies the first day they came out. I just remember being devastated that such a funny, lovable, sweaty, fat guy who I never knew passed away. Hearing now that it marks the ten year anniversary of his passing means I'm getting way too old and it is time to pour one out for one of the funniest guys to ever grace the stage.

Here is a good tribute video of Farley I found on Youtube...

Tonight will be a Milwaukee's Finest type of thing going on for me.


This is by far the funniest Carl sketch from Adult Swim. By the way I noticed how Roger Clemens again lied today saying he has never taken HGH or steroids or any performance enhancing drugs. Clemens is now the #1 jackass in all of sports. You just past Barry Bonds for doucheness Rocket!

Monday, December 17, 2007


The guy was taking it in the ass(syringes) and still throwing computer nerds like myself 98 MPH. Hall of Fame in my book.

Getting down to crunch time and you still don't want to deal with the hassle of waiting in lines? Well visit our store page to get some unbelievable deals on some great t-shirts, DVDs, and vintage tin signs.

In fact, today only till midnight we are selling the Ann Arbor is a Whore shirt for only $10. We figured we would honor Rich Rodriguez to his new digs. So buy up now, for the next 7 hours you can get the one of a kind Ann Arbor is a Whore shirt for only $10.


I'm sure none of you knew(wink wink) before yesterday that pop singer/boner delight Jessica Simpson is dating Dallas Cowboys QB Tony Romo until FOX showed her shaking her big thangs in a pink Romo jersey. If you are the 5 people who didn't know or catch a glimpse of Jessica, apparently the talented one of the dumb sisters, well then here you go...

The douchebag sitting next to her is her Dad in case you were wondering. He is the type of guy who would sell his daughter as a sex slave to Cowboys owner Jerry Jones if it got him suite tickets for the Eagles game. Oh wait, never mind. It's actually kind of sweet how Romo nailed her and had his worst performance as a pro because it helped put money in my pocket. And by money I don't mean the high hard one if that is what you were wondering.

I should just go now.

I'm watching the Rich Rodriguez press conference right now and I'm getting excited. This is a marriage of hell waiting to happen.

Rodriguez is country.

Ann Arbor is a whore.

Michigan is now the Britney Spears of college football.

The guy on the left is Bill Martin by the way.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Laughter ensues throughout the nation as it has now become a formality. Rich Rodriguez is the new head coach at the University of Michigan.

The Rich Rodriguez era at West Virginia ended early Sunday afternoon, not with a bang, but with a whimper.

In an early afternoon meeting with his football team, Rodriguez announced he was leaving to become the head coach at Michigan.

Rodriguez walked into a scheduled 1:30 p.m. meeting with his team and emerged 10 minutes later without comment and walked briskly back to his office. Shortly thereafter the players began to file out of the meeting room, somber-faced and generally without comment.

Rodriguez reportedly met with Michigan officials this past Friday in Toledo, Ohio.

And yet another coach turns his back on his alma mater to make more money. Such great leaders of young men these college coaches have become! It should be interesting to see the transition in offensive philosophy with Rodriguez's spread offense integrated with a traditional drop-back QB in Mallett. Uber recruit QB/Program changer Terrelle Pryor should be Rodriguez's first and number one priority once he starts recruiting for the Wolverines. Because we all know watching Mallett run a spread offense is going to be as silly as a Mexican in the NBA Slam Dunk Contest.

A great hire by Michigan, what are the chances Rodriguez makes a Tressel-like promise to beat their arch rival Ohio State and the Wolverine faithful pulls out their smelly disgusting wangs and start whacking away in a public library? Oh wait, that is THE Ohio State faithful.

Any excuse to watch this clip again is good enough for me. Poor Mike Cooper. Can't a man masterbate in public without being hassled? Guess not.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

It has been announced that the Padres have filled their vacant center field spot by aquiring Jim Edmonds and cash from the Cardinals for Minor League third baseman and St. Louis native son David Freese. This is obviously a salary dump in the eyes of the Cardinals and as a loyal fan I can't help but celebrate the move. I am already a fan of Mozeliak as he made up for one of Jocketty's few bad decisions when he signed Edmonds for 2 years and 19 mil last year. He obviously sees that if you have an opportunity to go young and cheap at a postion that you will be able to spend that money elsewhere to help your team. Let's be honest, Edmonds did not earn one cent of his contract last year.

Even though I am not high on Edmonds now, I do respect the player that he was in St. Louis. He was often thought of as being lax at times and a non leader in the club house. I believe the game just came very easy to him and he did have that Southern Cali flare to him. He put all questions of his leadership to rest when he led the Cards to the World Series Championship a couple of years ago. It was his idea of handing out a game ball to the series saver Ronnie Belliard against the Padres. After that game the practice of handing out gameballs continued throughout the playoffs and brought the team closer together.

When I think of Jim Edmonds as a Cardinal I remember his majestic home runs. The most important one being his extra inning game winning home run in game 6 of the NLCS against the Astros to force game 7. I also remember his effortless catches. The most important one being the one that I saw in person in game 7 of the NLCS against the Astros when he saved the series by robbing Brad Ausmus.

But I also realize that his skills have greatly diminished the past few years. Too many times St. Louis fans would rather keep the good guy rather then do what is best for the team. Showing the unselfish man that he is, Edmonds chose to waive his no trade clause even though he wanted to retire a Redbird because he knew it was best for the team.

Take care Jimmy in beautiful San Diego and I hope that you were able to teach the next great center fielder in St. Louis about how to be a true Redbird.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Well it finally appears Michigan might have found a suitor in West Virginia coach Rich Rodriguez according to the Sporting News.

There's a new twist in Michigan's ongoing search for a head coach: University officials are meeting with West Virginia coach Rich Rodriguez, according to Sporting News Radio correspondent Michael Bradley.

Rodriguez and his agent are in Toledo today to negotiate with Michigan athletic director Bill Martin and university president Mary Sue Coleman.

I know last year Rodriguez flirted with the Alabama job and thus got a substantial raise at West Virginia because of the Crimson Tide's infatuation. My hope is that Rodriguez is genuinely interested in the Michigan job and not just using them for another raise for himself and his assistants. Because you know that Michigan would never accept somebody like Les Miles who just used the Wolverines job as a springboard for a more lucrative deal with his present employer. I mean this is Michigan, the mecca of college football right? They have nobody coming back next year but West Virginia has Pat White, Steve Slaton, and Noel Devine back so it would make perfect sense for him to jump ship to Ann Arbor.

If you are a retard.


ROGER: Honey, hey listen, I'm out here with the guys and this one guy George Mitchell is really pushing me hard to talk to me about steroids.

WIFE: Are you kidding?

ROGER:Just say no and I won't say a thing about sticking needles in me and Andy's ass.

WIFE:inaudible "Don't do it you fucking idiot! We will lose millions like the Vicks!"

ROGER:Just say no and I won't do it!

WIFE: inaudible "Listen up you stupid roided up fuck, if you talk I will cut off your balls and serve them to our dog Kujo if you say anything to Mitchell about steroids! Get our lawyer to talk to him!"

ROGER:Okay, great then, guys I'm back, I'm going to spill the beans! My Hall of Fame career is fucked, she's speechless!

Thursday, December 13, 2007

I want to laugh at something besides Peter Gammons tinted glasses and dried up drool he refuses to wipe from his funny looking head.

So here you go, thoughtless laughing courtesy of one of my favorite shows Family Guy...

And oh yeah, some eye candy from a football game can get our thoughts off that pesky drug investigation...(NSFW by the way if you work for a dickhead)...


See, the picture above clearly shows Clemens wasn't roiding when this picture was taken during the World Series. It was so simple to see even back then. This whole Mitchell investigation was clearly a waste of time. With that being said I am now mailing off my wish list to Santa Claus. I really want that Playstation 3 and I know Santa Claus is going to bring it to me.

Why would former New York Mets clubhouse attendant Kirk Radomski lie? I have no hard feelings for Radomski other than the fact that he supplied ILLEGAL steroids to tons of major league players. Radomski has no reason to lie and implicate players who did not actively cheat or seek his services. Don't be pissed at the guy who rats out people because everybody is responsible for their own actions. It makes me laugh when people are presented with evidence that their favorite player or team was involved and yet don't believe that these guys were doing it. Did you honestly think that Barry Bonds was the only douchebag doing it? Get your fucking heads out of the sand and come up for air people.

Listen, I'm an enormous Baltimore Orioles fan and even I knew that Brian Roberts more than likely used some sort of illegal substance. I'm a huge BROB fan because of all his charity work around Baltimore and admire his attitude in regards to baseball. I've even had the opportunity to meet him and he came off as a great guy. But with that being said it doesn't mean he hasn't cheated himself and the game of baseball by using a banned substance. We need to accept the fact that "good guys" use steroids or HGH.

I am one of the last people to judge these guys because even I get it when players use the stuff because they want an edge. There are millions of dollars and dreams at stake in the high rolling world of Major League Baseball. But it doesn't make it right to use juice even if everybody else is doing it.

After reading the report I know it's only a sliver of what actually goes on throughout the league. All of the players are pussies plain and simple. Some will call it honorable not to rat out their boys but I think what they have done to the game is the most unhonorable thing you can do to the actual game. Don't get mad at George Mitchell for not reporting the likes of Marcus Giles and Kyle Farnsworth whom I know have used steroids in the past because the players union is not talking.

THE PLAYERS UNION ARE THE DOUCHEBAGS. Be mad at them for not being honest. Be mad at them for throwing your hard earned money for $7 beers and $5 hot dogs because these assholes cheat in order to make millions off of you. These players cheated in order to make more money and have no regards to the game itself. Don't blame Mitchell for trying to find out the facts when everybody in the game of baseball wants to sweep it under the rug.

And also I wanted to give a giant FU to Peter Gammons. This guy is a Hall of Fame writer but he is also a Hall of Fame kiss ass to the players. The reporters and media are as much at fault with the steroids issue being ignored for all these years and now Gammons is saying these reports mean nothing. Your wrong Gammons, it means you didn't do your fucking job and questioned players when guys like Brady Anderson and Luis Gonzalez were all of sudden hitting 50 plus homeruns after gaining a miraculous 30 pounds of muscle during the offseason. I know Gammons is in fear of losing the player's collective trust and will no longer be drinking buddies with a lot of the players but you know what? That isn't your job. Your job is to report as objectively as possible and Gammons is among many others who isn't one.

In conclusion I'm going to be one of the few people who actually speaks up for the Mitchell report. It wasn't a waste of money. He came in trying to clean up the game and get some answers for things nobody wants to answer because everybody has their money in deep pockets full of lies and deception. Mitchell wants a clean game and so do I. He asked the tough questions that Bud Selig was too pussy enough to ask himself. Selig could have cleaned up the sport a long time ago by putting in a drug testing policy without getting the player's union approval. Seriously, fuck the player's union if they are not going to agree or vote to a drug policy. It shouldn't be their choice. It's not their game, it's the public's game and the owner's game. The players are just employees who build the product like any of us who work for somebody else. Hopefully Selig sees this now and makes the drug testing policy even more difficult. Dont' give me the bullshit excuse of collective bargaining with Donald Fehr as a reason why you can't do anything Selig. You are the fucking commissioner. Stop being a pussy and do your fucking job. For once and for all let's clean up the game without asking what the players think.

Well I just finished reading the part of the Mitchell investigation dealing with Roger Clemens. I will let you read it yourself before judging. Again this is straight ver batim from the Mitchell Report:

Roger Clemens
Roger Clemens is a pitcher who, from 1984 to 2007, played for four teams in
Major League Baseball, the Boston Red Sox (13 seasons), Toronto Blue Jays (2 seasons),
New York Yankees (6 seasons), and Houston Astros (3 seasons). He has won more than
350 games, seven Cy Young Awards, and was the American League Most Valuable Player in
1986. He was named to All-Star teams eleven times.
During the Radomski investigation, federal law enforcement officials identified
Brian McNamee as one of Radomski’s customers and a possible sub-distributor. McNamee,
through his attorney, entered into a written agreement with the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the
Northern District of California. The agreement provides that McNamee will cooperate with the
U.S. Attorney’s Office. No truthful statements can be used against McNamee in any federal
prosecution by that Office; if, however, he should be untruthful in any statements made pursuant
to that agreement, he may be charged with criminal violations, including making false
statements, which is a felony.
As part of his cooperation with the U.S. Attorney’s Office, and at its request,
McNamee agreed to three interviews by me and my staff, one in person and two by telephone.
McNamee’s personal lawyer participated in the interviews. Also participating were federal
prosecutors and agents from the F.B.I. and the Internal Revenue Service. On each occasion,
McNamee was advised that he could face criminal charges if he made any false statements
during these interviews, which were deemed by the prosecutors to be subject to his written
agreement with the U.S. Attorney’s Office.
McNamee attended St. John’s University in New York from 1985 to 1989,
majoring in athletic administration. At St. John’s, he played baseball. From 1990 to May 1993,
he was a New York City police officer.
In 1993, McNamee met Tim McCleary, the assistant general manager of the
New York Yankees, who also had attended St. John’s. McCleary hired McNamee as a bullpen
catcher and batting practice pitcher for the New York Yankees. In 1995, McNamee was released
from his duties after Joe Torre was named the new Yankees manager. From 1995 to 1998,
McNamee trained “Olympic caliber athletes” outside of baseball.
In 1995, McCleary was hired as the assistant general manager for the Toronto
Blue Jays. In 1998, that club hired McNamee as its strength and conditioning coach, and he
served in that position from 1998 to 2000.
Roger Clemens signed with Toronto in 1997, after spending the first thirteen
years of his career with the Red Sox. After McNamee began working for the Blue Jays in 1998,
he and Clemens both lived at the Toronto SkyDome (there is a hotel attached to the stadium).
McNamee and Clemens became close professionally while in Toronto, but they were not close
socially or personally.
Jose Canseco was playing for the Blue Jays in 1998. On or about June 8-10,
1998, the Toronto Blue Jays played an away series with the Florida Marlins. McNamee attended
a lunch party that Canseco hosted at his home in Miami. McNamee stated that, during this
luncheon, he observed Clemens, Canseco, and another person he did not know meeting inside
Canseco’s house, although McNamee did not personally attend that meeting. Canseco told
members of my investigative staff that he had numerous conversations with Clemens about the
benefits of Deca-Durabolin and Winstrol and how to “cycle” and “stack” steroids. Canseco has
made similar statements publicly.385
Toward the end of the road trip which included the Marlins series, or shortly after
the Blue Jays returned home to Toronto, Clemens approached McNamee and, for the first time,
brought up the subject of using steroids. Clemens said that he was not able to inject himself, and
he asked for McNamee’s help.
Later that summer, Clemens asked McNamee to inject him with Winstrol, which
Clemens supplied. McNamee knew the substance was Winstrol because the vials Clemens gave
him were so labeled. McNamee injected Clemens approximately four times in the buttocks over
a several-week period with needles that Clemens provided. Each incident took place in
Clemens’s apartment at the SkyDome. McNamee never asked Clemens where he obtained the
During the 1998 season (around the time of the injections), Clemens showed
McNamee a white bottle of Anadrol-50.386 Clemens told McNamee he was not using it but
wanted to know more about it. McNamee told Clemens not to use it. McNamee said he took the
385 Jose Canseco, Juiced: Wild Times, Rampant ‘Roids, Smash Hits and How Baseball
Got Big 211-13 (Regan Books 2005).
386 Anadrol 50 is the brand name for oxymetholone and, according to a reference book
targeted at steroid abusers, “is considered by many to be the most powerful steroid commercially
available.” See William Llewellyn, Anabolics 2006 99 (5th ed. 2006). It can harm the liver and
produce pronounced androgenic side effects. Id. at 100.
bottle and gave it to Canseco.387 McNamee does not know where Clemens obtained the
According to McNamee, from the time that McNamee injected Clemens with
Winstrol through the end of the 1998 season, Clemens’s performance showed remarkable
improvement. During this period of improved performance, Clemens told McNamee that the
steroids “had a pretty good effect” on him. McNamee said that Clemens also was training harder
and dieting better during this time.
In 1999, Clemens was traded to the New York Yankees. McNamee remained
under contract with the Blue Jays for the 1999 season. In 2000, the Yankees hired McNamee as
the assistant strength and conditioning coach under Jeff Mangold. According to McNamee, the
Yankees hired him because Clemens persuaded them to do so. In this capacity, McNamee
worked with all of the Yankees players. McNamee was paid both by the Yankees and by
Clemens personally. Clemens hired McNamee to train him during portions of several weeks in
the off-season. McNamee also trained Clemens personally for one to two weeks during spring
training and a few times during the season. McNamee served as the Yankees’ assistant strength
and conditioning coach through the 2001 season.388
McNamee first learned about Kirk Radomski through David Segui during the
2000 season. Also that season, McNamee obtained Radomski’s telephone number from Jason
Grimsley. McNamee wanted to buy a Lexus, and Radomski had a connection with a Lexus
dealer. Radomski recalled that Grimsley was a frequent customer for performance enhancing
387 McNamee stated that he showed the bottle to Canseco because he thought that
Canseco was knowledgeable and he felt comfortable approaching him. According to McNamee,
Canseco volunteered to take the bottle.
388 In his own interview, Mangold was reluctant to discuss McNamee in any respect.
Mangold said that he was not aware of, and never suspected, any player of using performance
enhancing substances.
substances, and he produced nine checks written by Grimsley to Radomski during 2001 and
2002 and fourteen checks in total.
According to McNamee, during the middle of the 2000 season Clemens made it
clear that he was ready to use steroids again. During the latter part of the regular season,
McNamee injected Clemens in the buttocks four to six times with testosterone from a bottle
labeled either Sustanon 250 or Deca-Durabolin that McNamee had obtained from Radomski.
McNamee stated that during this same time period he also injected Clemens four
to six times with human growth hormone he received from Radomski, after explaining to
Clemens the potential benefits and risks of use. McNamee believed that it was probably his idea
that Clemens try human growth hormone. Radomski instructed McNamee how to inject human
growth hormone. On each occasion, McNamee administered the injections at Clemens’s
apartment in New York City.
McNamee said that he and Clemens did not have any conversations regarding
performance enhancing substances from late 2000 until August 2001. McNamee did, however,
train Clemens and Andy Pettitte during the off-season at their homes in Houston. Clemens often
invited other major league players who lived in the Houston area to train with him.
McNamee’s training relationship with Clemens and others has been described
publicly. Peter Gammons reported during spring training 2001:
Brandon Smith, an apprentice trainer with the Yankees, describes Roger
Clemens’ day as follows: “He’s one of the first players in every morning,
runs, does his program with Andy Pettitte, does the team program
workout, goes to the weight room, leaves, plays 18 holes of golf and
finally meets (trainer) Brian McNamee at 6 .. . . and a few other players –
for another workout. It’s incredible how much energy Roger has.”389
389 Peter Gammons, Indians Expecting Better Year,, Mar. 11, 2001; see also
Gary Graves, Clemens on Fire with Desire; Rigorous Workouts Keep 38-year-old All-Star
Sharp, In Shape, USA Today, July 10, 2001, at C3.
According to McNamee, Clemens advised him in August 2001 that he was again
ready to use steroids. Shortly thereafter, McNamee injected Clemens with Sustanon or Deca-
Durabolin on four to five occasions at Clemens’s apartment. According to McNamee, he again
obtained these drugs from Kirk Radomski. McNamee concluded from Clemens’s statements and
conduct that Clemens did not like using human growth hormone (Clemens told him that he did
not like the “bellybutton shot”). To McNamee’s knowledge, Clemens did not use human growth
hormone in 2001.
McNamee was not retained by the Yankees after the 2001 season. After that
season, Clemens never again asked McNamee to inject him with performance enhancing
substances, and McNamee had no further discussions with Clemens about such substances.
McNamee stated that Clemens did not tell him why he stopped asking him to administer
performance enhancing substances, and McNamee has no knowledge about whether Clemens
used performance enhancing substances after 2001.
During the years that McNamee stated he facilitated Clemens’s use of steroids
and human growth hormone, McNamee’s discussions with Clemens about use of these drugs
were limited. McNamee assumed that Clemens used performance enhancing substances during
the second half of the season so that he would not tire, but they did not discuss this directly. It
was Clemens who made the decision when he would use anabolic steroids or human growth
hormone. McNamee stated that he tried to educate Clemens about these substances; he “gave
him as much information as possible.”
Clemens continued to train with McNamee after he was dismissed by the
Yankees, according to both McNamee and press reports. In October 2006, after the Los Angeles
Times reported that the names of Clemens and McNamee were among those that had been
redacted from an affidavit in support of a search warrant for the residence of Jason Grimsley as
allegedly involved with the illegal use of performance enhancing substances, Clemens was
reported to have said: “I’ll continue to use Mac [McNamee] to train me. He’s one of a kind.”390
McNamee was quoted in a December 10, 2006 news article on steroids as
reportedly having said: “I never, ever gave Clemens or Pettitte steroids. They never asked me
for steroids. The only thing they asked me for were vitamins.”391 McNamee told us that he was
accurately quoted but that he did not tell the truth to the reporter who interviewed him. He
explained that he was trying to protect his reputation.
On May 15, 2007, the New York Daily News reported that Clemens had cut ties
to McNamee.392 McNamee denied that and told us that he trained Clemens after the article was
published. He added that Clemens now has a home in the New York area, and McNamee
personally installed a gym there.
McNamee stated that he has no ill will toward Clemens and “was always ahead
[financially] with Roger.” McNamee received money for expenses from Clemens’s business
representatives. They paid McNamee for training Clemens, and for his expenses. From time to
time Clemens also gave McNamee “extra money.” Clemens never gave money to McNamee
specifically to buy performance enhancing substances.
Kirk Radomski recalled meeting McNamee through David Segui. Radomski
confirmed that he supplied McNamee with human growth hormone and anabolic steroids from
390 Jack Curry, Cloud Over Clemens’s Finale: He and Pettitte Deny Report, N.Y. Times,
Oct. 2, 2006, at D1; Lance Pugmire, The Nation; Clemens Is Named in Drug Affidavit,
L.A. Times, Oct. 1, 2006, at A1.
391 See William Sherman and T.J. Quinn, Andy Totes Baggage to Bronx, N.Y. Daily
News, Dec. 10, 2006, at 56. McNamee’s interactions with Pettitte are discussed below.
392 Christian Red with T.J. Quinn, Roger Seeking Workout Help, N.Y. Daily News,
May 15, 2007.
2000 to 2004. Although McNamee never told Radomski the performance enhancing substances
obtained were for anything other than McNamee’s personal use, Radomski concluded that
McNamee was distributing the substances to others based on the amounts he purchased and the
timing of the purchases.
Radomski knew McNamee was acting as personal trainer for Roger Clemens,
Andy Pettitte, and Chuck Knoblauch (among others), and he suspected McNamee was giving the
performance enhancing substances to some of his clients. Occasionally, McNamee
acknowledged good performances by Knoblauch or Clemens by “dropping hints,” such as
“[h]e’s on the program now.” McNamee never explicitly told Radomski that either Clemens or
Pettitte was using steroids or human growth hormone. According to Radomski, however,
McNamee asked Radomski what types of substances Radomski was providing to pitchers.
Radomski delivered the substances to McNamee personally. Radomski recalled
numerous performance enhancing substance transactions with McNamee. Radomski also
sometimes trained some of McNamee’s non-professional athlete clients.
Radomski produced four checks from McNamee that were deposited into
Radomski’s checking account and drawn on McNamee’s checking account.393 All the checks
were dated in 2003 and 2004, after McNamee said that he supplied Clemens, Pettitte, and
Knoblauch. McNamee said these purchases were for non-baseball clients.
McNamee’s name, with an address and telephone number, is listed in the address
book seized from Radomski’s residence by federal agents. Radomski’s telephone records show
twelve calls to McNamee’s telephone number from May through August 2004. Radomski was
393 One of the checks, in the amount of $2,400, includes a memo stating “Loan Repay
Sub.” Radomski confirmed that he never loaned McNamee any money and that the check had
been for one-and-a-half kits of human growth hormone.
unable to obtain telephone records dating back to the time when, according to McNamee,
McNamee was injecting Clemens.
Clemens appears to be one of the two people associated with baseball – Andy
Pettitte is the other – who have remained loyal to McNamee after he left the Yankees.394
Clemens has remained a source of income for McNamee up to and including 2007.
Prior to my interviews of McNamee he was interviewed by federal officials on
several occasions, during each of which they informed McNamee that he risked criminal
prosecution if he was not truthful. I was advised by those officials that on each occasion he told
them about the performance enhancing substance use of Clemens, Andy Pettitte, and Chuck
Knoblauch (Pettitte and Knoblauch are discussed below).
In order to provide Clemens with information about these allegations and to give
him an opportunity to respond, I asked him to meet with me; he declined.


Here is a list sent to us from which looks similar to mine I posted a couple of months ago. Some guys who are obviously missing from the list at first glance include the Giles brothers, Luis Gonzalez, and Greg Vaughn.

Brady Anderson
Manny Alexander
Rick Ankiel
Jeff Bagwell
Barry Bonds
Aaron Boone
Rafael Bettancourt
Bret Boone
Milton Bradley
David Bell
Dante Bichette
Albert Belle
Paul Byrd
Wil Cordero
Ken Caminiti
Mike Cameron
Ramon Castro
Jose and Ozzie Canseco
Roger Clemens
Paxton Crawford
Wilson Delgado
Lenny Dykstra
Johnny Damon
Carl Everett
Kyle Farnsworth
Ryan Franklin
Troy Glaus
Rich Garces
Jason Grimsley
Troy Glaus
Juan Gonzalez
Eric Gagne
Nomar Garciaparra
Jason Giambi
Jeremy Giambi
Jose Guillen
Jay Gibbons
Juan Gonzalez
Clay Hensley
Jerry Hairston
Felix Heredia, Jr.
Darren Holmes
Wally Joyner
Darryl Kile
Matt Lawton
Raul Mondesi
Mark McGwire
Guillermo Mota
Robert Machado
Damian Moss
Abraham Nunez
Trot Nixon
Jose Offerman
Andy Pettitte
Mark Prior
Neifi Perez
Rafael Palmiero
Albert Pujols
Brian Roberts
Juan Rincon
John Rocker
Pudge Rodriguez
Sammy Sosa
Scott Schoenweiis
David Segui
Alex Sanchez
Gary Sheffield
Miguel Tejada
Julian Tavarez
Fernando Tatis
Mo Vaughn
Jason Varitek
Ismael Valdes
Matt Williams
Kerry Wood

I guess I am one of the few people who actually can't wait to see the names that are on Senator Mitchell's report. I want the sport cleaned up and I want to know what Mitchell has to say. I presume he will have scathing remarks about the player's union and the commissioner's office for sweeping the whole steroid issue under the rug for so long. But I also want to give a big shout out to all the writers who so blindly turned their back and did not report what they suspected years ago. Writers like Peter Gammons who think the Mitchell Report will do nothing because they didn't have the balls to report it in the first place.

One of the biggest names has supposedly been leaked and it's none other than Roger Clemens. No big shocker there, he was one of the players I named a while back. Automatically for me this disqualifies Clemens for the Hall of Fame. I don't want to hear the argument from sympathizers saying "but steroids wasn't a banned substance in baseball!". I don't give a rat's ass if it was or not because I know it is banned by our country to possess without a proper prescription. Getting them from a jerk off ball boy is not a pharmacist. If we are going to shit on Barry Bonds for ruining the integrity of the game then we need to do the same thing to Clemens. He is as much at fault with this drug culture as anybody.

Anyways, I will wait to hear the final report from Mitchell before talking about this anymore.

Oh yeah, good trade by the Baltimore Orioles yesterday sending Miguel Tejada(interesting timing) to the Astros for 5 players. Lefty Troy Patton could become a solid 2-3 starter in the league and the O's needed to start fresh by getting rid of some heavy salaries. Erik Bedard is next but to whom I have no idea.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Not knowing Blank on a personal level I was hoping during his press conference today he would go ape shit on Bobby Petrino and his inexcusable resignation. I was imagining some foul language and some long deep deadly stares into the camera while promising he would find Petrino one day on the street and rip his soul from his godless body. In video form something like this...

But instead of him going ballistic he responded like a reasonable human being unlike myself. The fact that Blank has had to deal with two lying butt darts in Vick and Petrino and yet came off cool, collected, and better off without them is a sign of a great man. The Falcons were never going to be a SuperBowl calibre team with Petrino at the helm. Sure it's in hindsight, but how can a franchise hire somebody like Petrino who is just a mercenary coach who loves to slither off for another job? It's all on GM Rich McKay now. Blank needs to start with a clean slate for the Falcon's franchise and one of his first moves should be to find a new GM. McKay alone has hired two coaches who failed in developing a winner and part of that is his personnel decisions. If I was Blank I would have fired McKay before the press conference today. Instead Blank stood by him. One has to wonder how many times Blank can get fucked over till he finally realizes the "right pieces" are not in place to build a winning franchise.

Here is Blank's comments today regarding Petrino's "betrayal"...

After listening to the whole press conference I am 100% in support of Blank. The man desperately wants to build a winner that the community of Atlanta and Falcon's fans can take pride in. I hope he finds the right guy and it starts with replacing McKay with somebody capable of building a winning franchise.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007


This is the first time where I have felt actually sorry for the people of Arkansas. How do you cheer for a guy who will leave at the drop of a hat from a job which he proclaimed just months earlier to be his dream job? And did I hear mooing in the background or is that just the universal form of communication in AR-Kansas?

I know a lot of people who hate Nick Saban for the shit he pulled on LSU and the Miami Dolphins but Petrino has to be the new #1 piece of lying shit on the planet. Seriously, why would any university want this guy leading young men into battle when he is such a fucking quitter? Just looking at him in that press conference smiling and acting like nothing is wrong with the way he left the Atlanta Falcons makes me want to bathe in vinegar.

I know Arthur Blank is a multi billionaire and obviously knows how to run a business but if he has any sense left in him he will start cleaning out the mess that is the Atlanta Falcon's front office. GM Rich McKay has made so many atrocious decisions in free agent signings and draft picks over the past few seasons I don't see how he can keep his job. McKay couldn't peel a fucking banana if he was a monkey. There is no reason for him to mess around in Atlanta anymore. Let him go do better things like run for baseball commissioner or be the bucket boy at a jack shack. Oh never mind, he would totally fuck those things up too.

Bobby the Snake Petrino just dumped the Falcons to take the head coaching job for the Arkansas Razorbacks. Another brilliant move by GM Rich McKay and owner Blank, Petrino should fit in perfectly with the Sabans and Meyers of the SEC. By fitting in I mean he is a cocksucking a-hole who likes his ass wiped in circles while being fed baby seal blubber.

Hopefully this was a worked out trade in which the Falcons get Darren McFadden in the NFL draft.

I just realized I haven't talked about hockey all season. Part of the reason is there has been nothing really exciting to talk about. My Thrashers have rebounded back to .500 hockey after a terrible start in which they fired their coach and replaced him with the GM. One of the Neidermeyers is coming back to Anaheim. The Detroit Red Wings are kicking ass in their filthy crime stricken shit hole of a city covered by dirty pee snow that reeks of manure and hooker spit.

But the real important reason to talk about the NHL is for the fans. It's the only sport outside of Nascar (haha..Nascar a sport, funny isn't it?) where you fit in sporting a mullet. Take for instance this wonderful inbred at a New York Islanders game...

Every Boy Scout in America just thought to themselves "is that my Troop leader?"
What are the odds he passed out in the concourse shortly after and urinated all over himself? I'm going to say the odds are good, maybe a 90% probability. By the way if you want to know what a Michigan Wolverine fan looks like then take another look. There is a reason why Les Miles is hesitant to take the job. Fear the Mullets!

VIDEO HT: WithLeather

I was one of the few people last night who actually watched the whole Monday Night debacle of a football game and I thought I was drunk or hallucinating when I heard Falcon's owner Arthur Blank say "fried chicken" in reference to Michael Vick. Apparently I heard it right...

Honestly I could think of a million jokes to say right now but I think I will keep my mouth shut. I'm not going to lie though, I have a serious craving for some watermelon right now. I always thought Blank looked like one of those dirty used car salesmen but after watching this he comes off worse in my mind. I'm sure Blank's statement was more of a Freudian slip of the tongue but you know deep down inside Blank really wants to just smack Vick with his $1000 lion skin glove across the face and tell him "to get the fuck out of here."

And what was up with Roddy White displaying a shirt underneath his jersey that displayed "Free Mike Vick." Free him from what? I guess his own stupidity because he lied to everybody including the federal government about his involvement with killing dogs. I know they are just backing up their former teammate but it kind of sickened me to realize that some people still don't think what he did was wrong.

I'm going to say it once more and that's it: Vick is a degenerate liar, a felon, and a puppy killer! He deserves to be in jail and even he realizes it now. So please stop backing up this piece of garbage saying he got a raw deal and pointing out how guys like O.J. and Jayson Williams got off for far more hideous crimes. Just because two jack asses got a free pass doesn't mean Vick deserves too.

VIDEO HT: AwfulAnnouncing

A man enters the hospital for a circumcision. When he comes to after the procedure, he’s perturbed to see several doctors standing around his bed.

“Son, there’s been a bit of a mix-up,” admits the surgeon. “I’m afraid there was an accident, and we were forced to perform a sex-change operation. You now have a vagina instead of a penis.”

“What!” gasps the patient. “You mean I’ll never experience another erection?”

“Oh, you might,” the surgeon reassures him. “Just not yours.”

Monday, December 10, 2007

The sad conclusion that is Michael Vick's life came to an apex today as he was sentenced to 23 months in federal pound him in the ass prison. Who would have thought a year ago that Marcus would be looked at as the good child in the family? Well, there he was holding and hugging his weaping mother as the sentence was called out today in court for his once superstar brother.

Now that Vick is gone for almost two years maybe now the Atlanta Falcons can move on and actually build a winning franchise without a felon leading the way. I've attended two Falcon games this year and I can say just by looking at the lack of notable players retired in the Falcon's Ring of Fame and also only 3 banners hanging without a single SuperBowl victory in their 40 plus years as a franchise that Vick isn't the reason why the Falcons suck. They suck because they have been a horrible run franchise forever and even since Arthur Blank bought them. They made a terrible decision in putting all their eggs in one basket with Vick and it has cost them.

Also it's time for the Falcons to fire GM Rich McKay. He has made so many bad personnel decisions during his time in Atlanta I'm not sure why people considered this guy as a viable replacement for NFL commissioner.

Anyways, Falcons fans pretty much reacted like this today when hearing of the Vick sentence....

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Word out of St. Louis from Post Dispatch writer Joe Strauss is that the Cardinals are going after Orioles ace Erik Bedard. The catch is that in order to get the lefty they would have to literally give up the farm for him. This means giving up Colby Rasmus their center fielder of the future. If you havent heard anything about Colby he is a 20 year old stud. He has 5 tool talent, but that isn't even the best part. The guy is a true gym rat that loves to play his heart out each and every day. He is a coaches dream to be able to coach and he will be a fan favorite instantly. Especially in a city like St. Louis. Chances are real good that he will make it to the big leagues before he is able to legally throw back some Budweisers. On a team where you have most of your salary locked up into Phat Albert you have to keep your young studs who will be cheap for a good 5 years.

Rasmus won't be the only guy they have to give up. When I talked about giving up the farm I meant it. The Cardinals are known for having a weak farm system and the Orioles are asking for every top prospect that they have in return for their Canadian hurler. This includes future closer Chris Perez. This guy, who I feel is major league ready right now, is a natural closer which is tough to find nowadays. Then there is a young power hitting catcher and their best lefty starter Jaime Garcia.
That is quite a large bounty for power arm lefty who is injury prone.

My plea to John Mozeliak is to hold on to the youngsters that you have. Don't build for one or two good years. Build for a dynasty.

Go Cards


Before the fight took place I thought Ricky Fatton Hatton was going to knock out Mayweather in the 10th round. Well, at least I had the round correct. Mayweather proved to be the best pound for pound fighter last night by destroying the previously undefeated Hatton with lightning quick jabs and hooks that left the Brit dazed and confused. After watching Mayweather's dual a few months back with De La Stockings I thought he was just a dancer(all though I was reminded by Kevin, the host of the party numerous times of Mayweather's appearance on Dancing with the Stars) but found out last night he is the real deal.

Last night's fight lived up to the hype. It was exciting to hear the pro-Hatton crowd chanting throughout the night. It reminded us of the explosive showdown's in golf between Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson. You know, just like it but the complete opposite with people who actually care about who is competing.

And for anyone wondering and I'm sure you were not, yes, I was rooting for Hatton before the fight started. I like guys who love to drink and eat during their offseason regime and are easily approachable. But after hearing all those drunk, dickhead Brits boo the National Anthem before the first punch was thrown I was 100% in Mayweather's corner.

Friday, December 07, 2007

My apologies for the delay in revealing the Sportscrack defensive All-American team but the Mexican food down here in Atlanta is fighting an endless war with Bowel movements. Again I watched a lot of video, read a lot of articles, and got some insight from in between screaming at AT&T for their shitty customer service. Just another day in the life my friends!


Glenn Dorsey(LSU Tigers)-The big defensive tackle down on the Bayou has wrapped his mitt around almost every single defensive award this season and there is no reason to leave him off this one. His effectiveness was derailed during the Auburn game when some douchebag O-lineman tried to cut his future NFL whore loving life away by one chop block. But Dorsey never bitched and moaned and instead kept trying to play. I like those type of players.

Trevor Laws(Notre Dame)-Big Trev led the nation in defensive lineman tackles with 112. Playing with a motor that never stops, Laws was one of the few bright spots on the Fighting Irish this season. If the Irish had 21 other players play with the type of heart, hustle, and emotion that Laws displayed all season then they could have been a bowl team. Simply putting it: Laws was a blood thirsty beast among chickens.

Chris Long(Virginia)-A force at defensive end all season, Howie's son racked up 14 sacks and destroyed opponents QBs and RBs. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he hurt a lot of O-linemen's feelings and left them wondering if playing football is the best career choice for them. Long is a great one and will be a force at the next level.

George Selvie(South Florida)-Selvie came out of nowhere to lead the nation with 31 1/2 tackles for loss this season. Unstoppable off the end, Selvie played and hustled himself into a top draft pick in 2008.

Vernon Gholston(Ohio State)-Vernon made it impossible not to take 5 defensive lineman for the first team All-American. He was unstoppable all season and made Michigan's Jake Long look like a little school girl who just got her lolli-pop stolen. Oh yeah, he had 13 sacks this season to rank 4th in the nation. Only a junior, I believe he played himself up to a top 15 pick if he decides to leave Columbus early.

Honorable mention: Greg Middleton(Indiana), Bruce Davis(UCLA), Maurice Evans(Penn State), Greg Hardy(Ole Miss), Sedrick Ellis(USC)


Dan Connor(Penn State)-Another link in the great Penn State chain of stellar linebackers. Connor proved he could take over a defense this season and has lived up to the hype he received coming out of high school. A sure fire first round draft pick.

James Laurinaitis(Ohio State)-A force to be reckoned with ever since he stepped foot on campus his freshman season, the Little Animal might be the best linebacker ever to play in a Buckeye uniform. It will be interesting to see if he comes back next season to play for a top 5 Buckeye team or leave for the NFL.

Jordon Dizon(Colorado)-This Hawaiian bred player has recorded 270 tackles the past two seasons in Boulder. A fast and fluid player, Dizon is a sure tackler who plays the position the way it should be played: 100% hustle all the time.

J Leman(Illinois)-A tackling machine, Leman again led the Illini in tackles with well over a 100 for the season. Maybe not the most gifted but the kid plays with a lot of heart on the field and is a big reason why the Fighting Zooks are playing in the Rose Bowl. And no, the Illini do not deserve to be playing there but that is another conversation.

Honorable mention: Erin Henderson(Maryland), Shawn Crable(Michigan), Curtis Lofton(Oklahoma), Jonathan Goff(Vanderbilt)


Antoine Cason(Arizona)-The definition of a shut down corner, Cason won the Thorpe Award for the best defensive back in the nation. Cason finished with five interceptions, 14 pass breakups, two forced fumbles and a sack during his senior season.

Aqib Talib(Kansas)-A jack of all trades player, Talib played both cornerback and wide receiver for the upstart Jayhawks. This kid is a ball hog and one of the main reasons why Kansas played themselves into a top 10 team. That and playing a horrible schedule.

Craig Steltz(LSU)-A strong safety force for the Tigers all season, he is essentially the quarterback for their defense. The kid makes plays all over the field and is a big game player.

Jamie Silva(Boston College)-People in Boston and Massachusetts might not give a rat's ass about BC, but that doesn't mean Silva is not worthy of being regarded as one of the top safeties in the nation. Almost crazy to think two white dudes made the secondary but after this season nothing really makes sense.

Honorable mention: Alphonso Smith(Wake Forest), Malcolm Jenkins(Ohio State), Taylor Mays(USC), William Moore(Missouri)


Durant Brooks(Georgia Tech)-He kicks it the farthest and can directional kick it to pin opponents deep in their zone.

Honorable mention: Kevin Huber(Cincinnati)

Thomas Weber(Arizona State)-Only missed one kick all season.

Honorable mention-Louie Sakoda(Utah)

Kickoff Returner
Jeremy Maclin(Missouri)-Returned two punts and one kickoff for touchdowns this season as a freshman.

Honorable mention-Felix Jones(Arkansas)

Punt Returner
Leodis McKelvin(Troy)-Lead the nation with 3 punt returns for touchdowns.

Honorable mention-Desean Jackson(Cal)


I always knew Warner was Lucifer's son. How else can one explain going from supermarket bag boy to SuperBowl MVP winning QB in a matter of years? And just to prove he plays on the dark side he is promoting gangs to kids. What a dickface! Stay away Warner and tell your psycho wife we don't take kindly to evil spiky hair lesbians down in these parts. At least that is what all the good wholesome Christians tell me when they think I'm a lady living with my girlfriend.

Video HT: Deadspin

The Yellow Jackets finally hit one out of the ballpark with this hiring. Johnson is a great coach and has made perennial winners out of Georgia Southern and the Naval Academy so the chances of him getting Tech over the 7 win a year hump is good. Johnson is suppose to be announced at 5:30 today with a contract of 6 years at a reported $16 million plus over the term.

If there was one thing fired coach Chan Gailey could do it is recruit athletes. Johnson will be entering a Tech program who desperately wants to beat their arch rival Georgia whom they have lost 7 straight.

It still baffles me that Michigan didn't try to get Johnson. Of course Michigan alumni and fans will tell you they never wanted him and while that may be true the person Johnson reminds me of is Jim Tressel coming out of Youngstown State. A lot of people thought Tressel couldn't succeed at Ohio State because he was going from 1-AA to D1 and he wasn't energetic enough for Big Ten football. Well, all I know is Tressel is one of the top 5 coaches in all of college football and I believe Johnson is on that path. If you can make Navy a winner you can pretty much succeed where ever you go.

By the way, I heard Michigan is still trying to hire the ghost of Bo after being turned down by Les Miles, Greg Schiano, Kirk Ferentz, and a slew of other candidates.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

This bizarre, ass backwards season has made no sense but hopefully this All-American list does. I went through all the stats, the level of importance the player had to his team, and watched a lot of video and read a lot of articles on the players. Again, this team is based on performance this season and not in the past. So here you go, this is the offensive side of the ball so feel free to curse and laugh all you want.


Tim Tebow(Florida Gators)-This was probably the biggest no brainer for me. The kid has redefined the position and dominated the toughest conference in all of college football. He has a combined 51 touchdowns and is a tough son of a you know what. He should win the Heisman but if he doesn't it's only because the old farts who vote are too set in their ways.

Honorable mention-Chase Daniel(Missouri)

Darren McFadden(Arkansas Razorbacks)-I don't think I really need to explain this one. More than likely the best player in the country when he isn't taking games off, D-MAC should be the first pick in the NFL Draft. By the way, I like him more than Adrian Peterson coming out last year.

Kevin Smith(Central Florida)-2448 yards is an insane number for a rushing total by a runningback. Even more insane is the amount of carries Smith got: 415! He also had a LT like 30 total touchdowns.

Honorable mention-Jonathan Stewart(Oregon), Rashard Mendenhall(Illinois)


Michael Crabtree(Texas Tech)-He set a NCAA freshman record with 21 TD catches while leading the nation in catches(125) and receiving yards(1861). Umm, yeah, he is a for sure, no questions asked All-American.

Jordy Nelson(Kansas State)-A white receiver, can you effing believe it? I'm still in shock. Nelson, a white dude who runs extremely fast. Wait a second. Did I mention he is white? Anyways, he had 122 catches for 1606 yards which both are second only to Crabtree. For a white guy that is amazing.

Mario Manningham(Michigan)-Super Mario had another stellar season. Most likely his last for the Maize and Blue when he decides to enter the NFL Draft, Manningham had over a 1000 yards receiving while catching 11 TDs.

Honorable mentions: James Hardy(Indiana), Percy Harvin(Florida), Devin Thomas(Michigan State)


Travis Beckum(Wisconsin)-High expectations going into this season didn't slow down Beckum in Madison. With nearly a 1000 yards receiving and 73 catches, Beckum was the most consistent tight end in the country despite having an average QB throwing him the ball. Plus he is so good one of his o-lineman tried to give him head(picture right). Geez guys, get a room.

Honorable mention: Fred Davis(USC)

Jake Long(Michigan)-He almost got taken off this list after seeing him thrown around a couple of times against Ohio State. More than likely the first o-lineman to be taken in the draft, Long finished his career 0-4 against the Buckeyes.

Anthony Collins(Kansas)-What has the world come to when I'm putting freaking Jayhawks on my All-American team? Collins was a monster all season and a reason why the Jayhawks were so efficient on offense.

Jonathan Luigs(Arkansas)-Reason #2 Arkansas is so good at running the ball the past three seasons. The #1 reason of course is D-MAC and Felix Jones.

Adam Spieker(Missouri)-What does MIZZOU mean? I don't get it, there are no Z's in Missouri. Is it redneck for show me? Oh yeah, Spieker dominated the line of scrimmage all season.

Michael Oher(Ole Miss)-This guy scares the living piss out of me. Just looking at his picture I had a little trickle come out. He is on this list strictly because I want to live for another 30 good drinking years of my life.

I will be posting my defensive All-American team as soon as my diarhea goes away. I had Mexican for lunch.