SportsCrack Blog

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Riddle me this...

Yes Jessica, Tuna Fish IS Chicken of the Sea...

Okay who cares. She's gorgeous and looks like a genius compared to the NCAA's latest ruling regarding the incident known as "AgentGate". It's also a great excuse to stare at a beautiful blonde with amazing... ass...ets!

Here's a question for the intelligent folks out there. If you work for the NCAA, you are not considered intelligent and therefore have no say in this answer. Winner gets a free...
high five.

Scenario 1
Future 1st Rounder: Hi Mr. Agent, I'm a future first round draft pick. Show me the $.
Agent: Of course, promise you'll sign with me after the season and I got yo money.
Future 1st Rounder: Fo' Sho'
Agent: Here's $1,800.
Future 1st Rounder: Pimpin' Shawty'

NCAA: You, Mr. Future 1st Rounder, are in trouble. I understand that you need yo' $, but we have to punish you so you will be suspended for 2 games!!!

Scenario 2
Definite 1st Rounder: I want to sell my jersey because I need some money. Is there anyone interested in buying this from me? I wore it in a game.
Shady Character Who May Be An Agent According to NCAA: Hey man, I hear you're selling a jersey, I'll give you $1,000 for it.
Definite 1st Rounder: Thank you sir, here's your jersey.

NCAA: You have committed a sin and will burn. Not only are you going to give that money to charity, but you will sit out for 4 games!!! And after the 4 games, you will have to go to Somalia and circumcise young boys. Then you will be forced to be out of the running for the Heisman, any other future possible awards you WOULD HAVE won this year and you will be forever under our watchful eye because you, yes you young man, are an awful person.

Anyone want to guess how that possibly seems fair? I guess when you're Alabama, projected to win a National Championship, and ESPN loves you, you get away with whatever the hell you want due to "extenuating circumstances". The funny thing is, the NCAA thinks, somehow, someway, they are RIGHT in their month long investigation that didn't turn up a damn thing except a player selling his PERSONAL PROPERTY and have to COVER THEIR BEHINDS by punishing that action to the MAXIMUM possible penalty, yet someone who has direct contact with an agent and reaps the benefits gets a "break".

I think I've figured out why so many people are scared of clowns, they work for the NCAA, hold all of the power, carry tons of tricks, and just when you think they've gotten ridiculous enough, they squirt you right in the eye with that damn flower that shoots the mysterious liquid that the clown refers to as "water". Damn clowns, you got to hate them!

Excuse the awful video, but wait for the end, the 5 1/2 minutes are completely worth it. PS, I still love you Dane, even though I'm no longer in college. We could still be cool man. Seriously dude, hit me up...