SportsCrack Blog

Thursday, March 28, 2013

FGCU's Dunk City Has Dorms With Beachfront Views

I'm not even going to lie.  If I was still in high school or college my ass would be applying to Florida Gulf Coast in a heartbeat.  Beachfront views with honeys hanging out in bikinis studying?  Um, yes please!

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Emily Ratajkowski Just Put Kate Upton on Internet Queen Notice With This New NSFW Robin Thicke Video

 The ball is now in your court Kate Upton because make no mistake model Emily Ratajkowski just took over the internet with this blazing NSFW music video. Never mind the horrible song or Robin Thicke claiming he has a big cock (clearly he does if he has Emily frolicking around naked) Emily has planted her flag right on the internet's 50 yard line claiming it as her own. So the question now is what can Kate Upton do to reclaim her internet title for hottest girl on the planet? This is on par when Michael Jordan entered the NBA and told Magic and Bird to go fuck themselves.

 Emily is the new queen of the internet. You still have doubts? Hahaha. Check out this Carl Jr's commercial.

 Game. Set. Match.


Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Manti Te'o Runs a 4.71, Talks To Jon Gruden

First round lock. Some team will fall in love with Manti Te'o. He won't go in the first 15 picks but I think either the Giants or the Bears get him in the 19-20 range. They both need middle linebackers. If they decide to skip out on Manti no way he lasts past the Vikings who have the 23rd and 25th pick.

Monday, March 25, 2013

Florida Gulf Coast University Dunk City

Admit it... you had never heard of FGCU four days ago.  And now Florida Gulf Coast is the first ever 15th seed to make it to the Sweet 16 with all those alley-oops.  These kids make it fun to watch college basketball.  Dunk City indeed.

Sergio Garcia Hits A One-Handed Shot From a Tree

In typical Sergio Garcia fashion he takes 20 practice swings before he finally hits the ball back into play on the 10th hole of the Arnold Palmer Invitational.  One-handed mind you.

Monday, March 11, 2013

DeAndre Jordan With The Dunk Of The Year Over Poor Brandon Knight

I hope DeAndre Jordan left some change on Brandon Knight's nightstand after that pile driver of a dunk last night.  At least be a gentleman about it.

Wednesday, March 06, 2013

Marc Staal Took A Chris Brown To The Face

I don't think there could be anything worst in sports than taking a puck to the face like the New York Rangers Marc Staal did last night vs the Philadelphia Flyers.  It's got to be worse than taking a high fastball because the puck is much more solid, cold, and it has edges.  Rihanna was in the stands and laughed off Staal's theatrics after the blow while muttering "Not so fun is it pussy?"

Monday, March 04, 2013

Kobe Bryant Asks Josh Smith "How Does My Greatness Taste?" With A Posterizing Dunk

So Josh Smith wants a max contract eh?  Sounds good.  I also want to go balls deep in Kate Upton but guess what?  It isn't happening.  Not now.  Not in the future.  Not ever.  Trust me because every time I remove the duct tape from Kate's mouth she insists on screaming and crying.  I can't stand crying.  Such a turnoff.

In other words Kobe Bryant still has it and Josh Smith will never get it.

The Golf Boys Are Back With "2.0h" Music Video

One thing I love about athletes, or in this case golfers, are ones that don't take themselves too seriously. You're playing a sport not solving the national debt crisis.  Have some fun while you are making millions right?  Well clearly the Golf Boys are having a great time.  Whether it be "Flat Bills" Rickie Fowler, Bubba "Button Up" Watson, Hunter "Grizzly Beard" Mahan, or Ben "Going Insane Kaw-Kaw" Crane you know these guys are not uptight pricks like Tiger and Phil.

Apparently Rory couldn't make an appearance in the video.  He was too busy nursing his "tooth ache" while quitting in the middle of a round.  That's a bitch move Rory.  Go eat some Lucky Charms and tighten that shit up.

Via Ben Crane