SportsCrack Blog

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Braves Rookie Todd Cunningham Collected His First MLB Hit Last Night, Has A Rap Video Called "Rock Yo Jock"

With another injury to an Atlanta Braves outfielder rookie Todd Cunningham got called up last night and collected his first career hit in his first career at-bat. When Cunningham isn't rocking line drives to left field he is rocking the mic with his debut song "Rock Yo Jock." It's some sort of rap song about Christians and the birds and the bees and blah blah blah. The rookie needs to stick with baseball. Leave the christian rapping to the head fryers at Chick-Fil-A.

Video via TheBigLead

Miami Reliever Chad Qualls is as Graceful as a Swan

Tiger Woods has nothing on Marlins reliever Chad Qualls in fist pumps. Just pure grace and determination by Qualls. The newest attraction in that monstrosity of a stadium they got in Miami should be Niagara Qualls.

This Bengals Fan Has The Tailgate Like A Champion Look Perfected

A bearded 6-pack? Brilliant.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Social Experiment: Asking Guys For Sex

I don't see what the big deal is. This kind of shit happens to me everyday. I have to constantly remind my wife how lucky she is to have won this once in a lifetime prize. For the other 99.9% of dudes out there this must have been unusual. Sort of like someone handing you the winning lottery ticket for no good reason.

Via HotClicks

Monday, July 29, 2013

Johnny Football Smoked Some Weed, Drank Some Beers, and Got Kicked Out of a Texas Frat This Weekend

All in all I would say it was a just a normal summer weekend for any college student. Except the guy in the pink shirt getting thrown out of an University of Texas frat party doesn't go to school there. In fact he plays for a hated rival. He also owns a Heisman Trophy and comes from an extremely rich family. So while everybody is putting the microscope on Johnny Manziel he is still out living his life. One beer pong, one bong toke at a time.

Winning. Except I'm not sure the Johnny Football nickname is appropriate anymore. Manziel has been all about NOT football since their bowl game when they absolutely trucked the shit out of Oklahoma. He's Johnny Hangover. Johnny Drama. Johnny I might be losing millions in NFL signing bonus money because I can't keep my fucking nose clean.

Whatever. Roll on playa. We are just here to watch the shitshow for all it's glory. It's like watching a real life sequel to The Program and Manziel is doing his best Joe Kane impression.

Beer pong and Bong Rip pictures from BarStool Sports

Friday, July 26, 2013

Notre Dame Hydrofx Mini Helmets For Sale

These bad boys just came in stock for the first time ever. Now available are the Notre Dame Fighting Irish HydroFX Revolution Speed Mini Helmet NEW GOLD. These are perfect for the hard to get Notre Dame fanatic. Looks great in any office, homebar or tailgate!

Alex Rodriguez is a "Dog" according to Taiwanese Animation Report

I seriously want all my news delivered in Taiwanese animation. The comedic level takes it up an extra notch.

With Ryan Braun getting suspended for the rest of the season after lying about his PED use I think it's time for commissioner Bud Selig and the players union to make a huge statement with the latest Alex Rodriguez Biogenesis scandal: lifetime ban. A-Roid is a cheater. He's a disgrace to the game way more than Pete Rose. He has effected games good or bad for numerous seasons and still cheats it everyday. He should no longer have the ability to earn a living off of it. Throw him out. Kick him to the curb. And clean up the sport.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Jason Heyward Makes Game-Saving Diving Catch in 9th, Chipper Chews Out Mets Fan on Twitter

It's the bottom of the ninth inning and the Atlanta Braves are clinging to a one-run lead with runners on first and second. The Mets Justin Turner takes a 1-0 gift of a pitch from closer Craig Kimbrel and rocked it to left center. A sure double off the bat and a winner for the stinkin' Mets. But center fielder Jason Heyward had different plans. In only his fifth game playing center field Heyward saved the game with an unbelievable catch.

Chipper Jones got an interesting response from a bitter Mets fan on Twitter. Chipper's response was classic...

Monday, July 22, 2013

Alabama's New Football Facilities Are Incredible

Well if you ever expected a Bama football player to actually attend class then this new football only facilities will no doubt squash those expectations. This is the definition of football factory. Bama just shit all over Oregon in terms of decadence and bravado with their new facility. Am I jealous? Fuck yeah I am. Good luck to the rest of the SEC when trying to get a recruit over Bama. One look inside this place and all the first round draft picks and you can pretty much count Bama as the destination for elite recruits.

Friday, July 19, 2013

Chris Davis AL Record 37 Homers Before The All-Star Break

Baltimore Orioles slugger Chris Davis joins only Jimmie Foxx and Babe Ruth to hit at least 30 homers, drive in 90 runs, and hit .315 before the All-Star break. It's been a breakout season for Crush and the scary thing is despite the great numbers he still is not the leading MVP candidate. That would be reigning Triple Crown winner Miguel Cabrera. Miggy's stats are even better than last season. The only way Davis wins the MVP is if he keeps up his torrid pace and breaks Roger Maris record. It can be done but I think he will end up in the mid 50s in homer total. A great season no doubt. The more important thing is getting the Orioles back to the playoffs. Davis is doing his part but they need guys like Matt Wieters and Brian Roberts to step up their offensive games while the starting rotation needs to go at least 6 innings deep to give their bullpen some much needed rest.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Johnny Manziel Addresses Hangover Questions at SEC Media Day

I thought Johnny Football handled the questions pretty good. Look we all know he got shitfaced Friday night with the Mannings and AJ McCarron. The problem is he is still underage and he can't answer the questions honestly or he will not only get himself in trouble but Peyton and Eli too. He overslept the next day of the camp and was kicked out by Archie Manning. Shit happens especially when you are 20 years old. But I will say the media and more importantly NFL teams have a right to grill Manziel on his partying. If you are going to invest millions in a wildcard you have to do your due diligence. Johnny Football needs to get back on the football field because this whole offseason he has turned himself into Johnny Drama aka Johnny Hangover with all the late night shenanigans. I would probably do the same thing if I was a rock star college QB with a Heisman Trophy in my back pocket. Actually I would do the same thing. But I don't have millions in the bank waiting for me on my first job interview. So maybe just clean it up a little bit Manziel. We all want to see you beat Alabama again. But we also want the drama too. Fuck it just keep being yourself Johnny.

What do you think about Johnny Football and his off the field partying?

Video via TheBigLead

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Matt Harvey Asks Clueless New Yorkers About Matt Harvey

Granted New York Mets fans aren't the brightest bunch but I can almost guarantee this would happen in every other baseball city. Hell I didn't even recognize All-Star starter Matt Harvey without the hat and I follow baseball religiously. Just like I'm sure a lot of Cardinals fans wouldn't recognize Adam Wainwright or Braves fans with Kris Medlen. Most Yankees fans would think C.C. Sabathia is the guy who does the weather on NBC's morning show rather than pitch for the pinstripes. But this Jimmy Fallon skit is funny because it shows how clueless we can be even if the guy asking us about Matt Harvey is in fact him. Come to think of it the Mets still play baseball?

Via TheBigLead

Golden Army 14 Shirts #goldenarmy14 is again teaming up with The Turning Point to deliver a great shirt to get you into the football spirit. Last year was the Irish Mob and they delivered one of the best classes in 20 years. This year we have the Golden Army 14. These shirts come in both 100% cotton and Hanes Cool-Dri performance (100% polyester that wicks away the moisture from the body).

Order your official #goldenarmy14 shirt today!

Monday, July 15, 2013

Carly Rae Jespen Threw Out The Worst First Pitch of All-Time

Unless we can find some retard who throws it backwards singer Carly Rae Jespen has the worst first pitch ever. My two-year-old is more accurate. Seriously. Michael J. Fox was seen visibly shaking in the Rays crowd no doubt from laughing so hard. Am I right?

The Pouncey Brothers Show Their Support For Aaron Hernandez With Free Hernandez Hats

Well if the police were looking for two mystery accomplices to murder I think we found them. Gators going to gator. Snitches get stitches. Now we know why Urban Meyer high tailed it out of Gainesville.

From the NY Daily News...
The Pounceys have been linked to Hernandez’s off-field activities as police continue to probe Hernandez’s past for clues relating to current murder charges he faces. In 2007, the Gainesville (Fla.) Police Department mentioned the Pounceys in a report after investigating a double shooting. Police wanted to speak with Hernandez about the shooting but he invoked his right to have an attorney present. No charges were ever filed. Hernandez, ex-Jags safety Reggie Nelson, and Mike and Maurkice Pouncey had been in a Gainesville nightclub on the night of the shooting. Hernandez was 17 at the time.

I know what you were thinking. It's probably just a big coincidence. Double shootings happen all the time. Just like one of Hernandez's boys winding up dead near his house. I can't tell you how many double shootings and murders just pop up around me. It's obviously not a me problem. It's a society problem. Yeah let's go with that thinking.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

New Hey Urban Liar Snitches Get Stitches Shirt

From Gainesville to Ann Arbor to South Bend and beyond many in the college football world are yelling at Urban Meyer: "HEY URBAN LIAR, SNITCHES GET STITCHES!"

Now you can get the shirt that will be the hit at any tailgate, party, wedding, Sunday school, prison, etc. This is the people's shirt. Comes in both navy and royal. Pick your poison and feel free to snitch about it to everybody you know.

And before you even ask yes Aaron Hernandez has already bought a murderer's dozen for all his new buddies.

This is a Shirt we can back: Hugs For Votes #VoteFreddie

Atlanta Braves designated hugger/first baseman Freddie Freeman is in a competitive All-Star vote war with rookie sensation Yasiel Puig for the final spot. Of course everybody on ESPN has been shilling for Puig to make the All-Star team so some of Freeman's teammates thought it was time to show their support for their favorite hugger on the team. The t-shirt is a subtle hint that Freeman not only delivers the best hugs but he also delivers when runners are in scoring position and he deserves your vote. So do your part and #VoteFreddie today. ESPN even has the PTI guys doing their dirty work. This is openly campaigning for Puig to make the All-Star team despite only playing a little over one month of the season.

Tuesday, July 09, 2013

Carlos Gomez With The Game Saving Over-The-Fence Catch To Rob Joey Votto

With two outs in the ninth and the tying run at 3rd base Joey Votto stepped to the plate. Votto delivered a crushing blow to straight away center in what appeared to be the game-winner. But Brewer's centerfielder Carlos Gomez had other plans. With a steady pace to the outfield track and a snug lean into the fence Gomez hopped like he was on a small trampoline and took away Votto's majestic shot. No guts. No glory. Brewers win.

Monday, July 08, 2013

Manny Machado Has A Decent Arm

Manny Machado just turned 21 on Saturday. He's on pace to beat Earl Webb's record 67 doubles in a season. But the highlight of his season might be this incredibly strong throw across the diamond. Not bad kid. Not bad at all.

Sunday, July 07, 2013

Everett Golson Talks About His Future At Notre Dame

Well this makes me feel a little better. Not much. Get your shit together Golson. Too much is on the line to get kicked out of school when greatness is on the cusp of reality.

Thursday, July 04, 2013

Happy Birthday America!

On this July 4th don't ever forget what America was founded on. The 3 B's. Boobs, Beer, and Baseball. Get all of it today. America. Fuck Yeah.

Wednesday, July 03, 2013

You Think Homer Bailey Gives A Fuck About His Second No-Hitter?

Spoken like a true professional. Homer Bailey, covered in shaving cream pie after pitching his second no-hitter of his career, could give a fuck about his measly walk in the 7th inning. You got to love the honesty.