SportsCrack Blog

Tuesday, May 01, 2012

Bryce Harper Has A Great Haircut

Somehow last week I forgot to mention Bryce Harper was going to make his major league debut but between the golf and the drinking it managed to drown itself. But let's not talk about his debut (1-3 with a double and RBI) and instead let's focus on his fantastic coif of hair. It's a combination of Kenny Powers meets Barry Melrose. It's so fucking awful I actually like it. I'm sure the ladies in DC are just ready to run their dirty little hands through his glorious mop.

By the way what the fuck is up with chicks shaving one side of their heads nowadays? I saw Rihanna sporting it (think Gary Oldham's haircut in Fifth Element) and the first thing I thought besides what a disgusting filthy whore she is was my lord what a disgusting filthy dirty whore haircut she has. Please ladies I'm already sick of seeing Pirate hooker tattoos all over your bodies I don't know if I could put up with the Fifth Element haircut. Just stop it please. It's neither trendy or cool. It's just flat out dumb.

Andrew Luck's Girlfriend is a Gymnast

Andrew Luck may not have a Heisman or a National Championship but the #1 NFL Draft pick has a gymnast for a girlfriend. Basically he has all the money in the world and a flexible girlfriend. I would NOT trade that for a Heisman or a ring on any day of the week. In case you were wondering her name is Nicole Pechanec and she is currently a gymnast at Stanford. Feel free to stalk her.

The lesson here kids is if you are really good at throwing a football and have millions in the bank you too can get a hot girl. You just gotta be Luck.

/Brady Quinn nods in approval.

Suck For Luck indeed.

Kate Upton Does The Cat Daddy Dance for Terry Richardson

I don't think words can do this Cat Daddy Dance justice. I'll just let you describe it in your comments. It's Kate Upton's world and we are just living in it.