SportsCrack Blog

Wednesday, May 01, 2013

NBA Player Jason Collins Is Gay And Can Still Bang With Shaq According To Obama

In all seriousness congratulations to Jason Collins for coming out of the closet.  Not because he is a hero or anything but because of his timing we weren't succumbed to constant talk about some other closeted third-string quarterback in New York who was released the same day.  Thank you Jason Collins.

New Atlanta Falcons Stadium Looks Insane

I will be the first to admit I wasn't on board at all with building a new stadium for the Atlanta Falcons.  I've always thought the Georgia Dome was a great place to watch a football game especially when it gets cold in December and January.  Call me a pussy but the last thing I want to do is freeze my ass off while shaking uncontrollably while trying to enjoy a sip of a beer.

But now after seeing these designs I say fuck the 20-year-old Georgia Dome.  I want my impact rumble seats!  I want to know what it feels like to be Michael J. Fox watching a football game while drinking $15 beer to pay for the cost of the stadium.  Do they massage you as well?  They sure as hell better!

I also want a blimp above the new stadium so every time they open up the roof it looks like a giant asshole releasing a heavenly fart of NFL goodness.  I mean after all if we are going to ignore our horrible schools, roads, traffic and infrastructure in metro Atlanta for a shiny new stadium toy I want it to represent something bigger.  It just makes sense.  Right Tommy Boy?