SportsCrack Blog

Thursday, April 09, 2015

Jaylon Smith: Be Afraid Texas, Be Very Afraid

Come September 5th the Texas Longhorns are going to wish they never scheduled a home-and-home series vs Notre Dame.  Junior linebacker Jaylon Smith has been cross training at multiple linebacker spots and has been a raving tackling lunatic during the spring.  The returning All-American linebacker will surely win the Butkus, Bednarik, and whatever other defensive award you can name in 2015 because it's his season to shine.  If you thought Manti Te'o and his imaginary girlfriend was a special story in 2012 just wait for this fall when the Predator comes a knocking.

I want to say I feel bad for Charlie Strong and the whole state of Texas but they know what they are entering at Notre Dame Stadium.  A world of hurt, blood, tears and dreams crushed.  Bevo, it's what's for dinner.

True Detective Has a New Trailer

Listen nothing will beat Woody and Wooderson in the first season of True Detective but this new tease or trailer or what ever the fuck you want to call it looks down right ball tingly.  An all star cast of Rachel McAdams, Vince Vaughn, Colin Farrell, and Taylor Kitsch aka Tim Riggins should belt out some memorable scenes with the premiere on HBO slated for June 21st.  I cancelled my HBO subscription after the first season concluded but now it's time to fire up a free 3 months promo come June just so I can wet my tv viewing whistle.

This Should Be A New Reality Show: Drunk Girl Avoiding Highway Traffic

Good lord lady.  Can you be any more drunk?  You gotta love the dudes who are actually risking their lives on the highway for this black out drunk girl with the hopes of somehow bringing her home and getting her another Bill Cosby special.  The video starts off with her taking a mean piss right in the middle of the highway, pulling up her pants, and then playing chicken while stumbling in her high heels across San Diego traffic at 1:45 am.  If this was some dude or fat chick she would be splattered all over the highway like a Walking Dead zombie.  Instead she got a DUI and will probably have a new reality show.  God bless America and hot drunk chicks.

With The Masters Upon Us Now is a Good Time To Root For Rickie Fowler and His Girlfriend Alexis Randock

Rickie Fowler may wear goofy ass Puma hats and clothing but the dude is a straight up pimp when it comes to his golf game and his 19th hole ladies game.  Right now the soon to be Masters Champion (fingers and assholes crossed) is dating swimsuit model Alexis Randock which rhymes with you know what and oh my God Fowler is a lucky bastard.  Fowler is yet to win a major but who gives a shit.  He's hitting it in the right hole every single night.  Enough with my crude sexual golf innuendo talk.  Let's take a fair look at Alexis Handonmycock...

And least shocking news ever she went to Arizona State.  I swear they breed an endless supply of swimsuit models, porn stars and shitty football players....