SportsCrack Blog

Thursday, September 12, 2013

El Oso Blanco With The Dick Shot Homer

Or was it the balls?  Either way that guy got fucking nailed in his junk by an El Oso Blanco blast in Miami last night.  I'd say there is a pretty good chance he has baseball stitches on his shit for days after taking a monster shot from the legend of Evan Gattis.

SportsCrack Week 3 Top 10 Teams and Heisman Contenders

1.  Alabama - Bama conveniently had the week off to prepare for Johnny Football and the Aggies.  What they didn't have time to prepare for is the shitstorm about to hit with players getting paid by agents.  Trouble in Tuscaloosa?  Yup.

2.  Clemson - The Tigers were in cruise control last week vs South Carolina State and get this week off before traveling to NC State for a huge Thursday night game.

3.  Oregon - The Ducks could make a solid case for being the most impressive team so far this season.  They are averaging over 60 points a game and this week they get the Vols who should get crushed.

4.  Stanford - Beat a good San Jose St team.  They travel across the country to get Army this week before a big home game vs Arizona St next week.

5.  LSU - Mettenberger has been lights out so far.  If the Bayou Bengals can keep up their scoring pace they could be playing for #1 in two weeks vs Georgia.

6.  Ohio State - I moved the Buckeyes up a lot because I was impressed how easily they dominated San Diego St despite losing Braxton Miller to an injury.  They get Cal this week in Berkeley.

7.  FSU - Didn't play.

8.  Louisville - Teddy Bridgewater was his normal Superman self with a convincing win against East Kentucky.  This week they get a SEC team...Kentucky.  Whoopity fucking do.

9.  Texas A&M - Their defense looks like shit but they got Johnny Football so who cares.  They got a big game this week vs some team called Bama.  Win and they will get #1 votes.

10.  Michigan - Devin Gardner played great Under The Lights and the Wolverines held off a tough Notre Dame team.  They don't play anybody before traveling to Happy Valley in mid October.

Top 5 Heisman Front Runners
My top 5 hasn't changed one bit since last week.  Not sure if that is a good or bad thing.

1.  Jameis Winston, FSU - He should be able to pad his stats vs Nevada this week and Bethune-Cookman next week.

2.  Tajh Boyd, Clemson - If Clemson goes undefeated Boyd will win the Heisman.

3.  Marcus Mariota, Oregon - He absolutely shredded Virginia.

4.  Teddy Bridgewater, Louisville - He can make all the throws and this week he goes against a "SEC defense."

5.  Johnny Manziel, Texas A&M; Todd Gurley, Georgia - All of these top 6 guys are basically interchangeable at this point.  If Manziel beats Bama again then he's #1 on the list.  If Gurley continues to put up monster numbers vs good teams he will get an invite to NYC.