GOOD MUSIC VIDEO TO GO OUT

I couldn't let you go into the weekend thinking of that garbage Notre Dame music video so I present "Chica Bomb." It's the perfect elixir for the soul as we head into a great weekend. And by soul I mean boner.

Peace!

YOUR KENTUCKY DERBY PREVIEW

I could ramble on for days about horses running around a track at ridiculous speeds but that would be boring. Instead I offer you some inside footage of The Kentucky Derby you won't be seeing tomorrow on television.

First we have a Southern Belle who loves her Mint Juleps (the official drink of the Derby)...


The infield is where the finest mud wrestling in Kentucky becomes legendary...


You have to bring the essentials to the Derby: Weed and toilet paper...


Then of course you got the infield Drunk slap off at 3 pm...


And then the race itself which is a time honored tradition. I'm talking about the Porta Potty Race of course...

BEST NEWS FAILS COMPILATION

THE NEW MATT KEMP "THE BISON" T-SHIRT

I've gotten a ton of requests for us at SportsCrack to make a Dodger's themed shirt. I figured a Rihanna's boy toy shirt wouldn't sell as well as this new one called "The Bison." Matt Kemp earned the nickname when the Dodgers were playing the Atlanta Braves and soul glo announcer Don Sutton mentioned Kemp looked "like a big buffalo running around the bases" as he stole his first major league base. Jon Weisman's popular Dodgers blog, Dodger Thoughts, ran with "The Bison" and it has stuck with him ever since.

Get your "The Bison" t-shirt and show your love for Rihanna's favorite boy toy in Matt Kemp...

WHAT. THE. FUCK. NOTRE DAME?

I was about to blog about Brian Kelly and his staff absolutely crushing it on the recruiting trail lately but then this monstrosity of a Notre Dame production "hip hop" video showed up in my inbox and all I can say is they better have those kids signed to binding letters. This has got to be the worst school music video I have ever heard. Babies can create better looking shits than this pooh.

Seriously after watching this video I think I hate Notre Dame. Or at least who ever decided this would be a good idea.

The Pope called Notre Dame today to thank them for creating something more embarrassing than a Catholic priest.

Feel free to leave your jokes in the comment section. Notre Dame deserves them after creating this piece of shit.

TP IS FOR BUNGHOLES

The Braves again "managed" to lose their 9th straight game today in embarrassing fashion in St. Louis. They scored 4 runs which I believe is a season high since the Opening Day massacre of the Cubs...sarcasm folks. The Braves should be scoring a lot more runs. Everyone knows this. Their lineup is not this bad. It's their hitting coach who "manages" to fuck up their offense by offering absolutely nothing to the team.

Let's take a look at what some of the recent Braves departures are doing since they escaped the wrath of TP...

KELLY JOHNSON: Last year hit .224 with 8 HRs, 29 RBIs and an OPS of .692 while losing his job to Martin Prado.
This year in Arizona he is hitting .320 with 9 HRs, 18 RBIs and an OPS of 1.203 while leading the Majors in long balls.

JEFF FRANCOEUR: Last year hit .250 with 5 HRs, 35 RBIs and an OPS of .634 before being traded to the Mets.
Since the trade he has hit over .300 with 13 HRs, 53 RBIs and an OPS of .837 in 99 games.

KJ and Frenchy were two highly regarded Braves prospects who continued to hit worse in the Bigs under the tutelage of Pendleton. One could say it's a coincidence but then you have to keep in mind that the Braves best hitters in Brian McCann and Chipper Jones go to their Dads for hitting advice rather than consult TP.

The Braves rank last in the league with a .228 batting average. Nate McLouth was an All-Star outfielder for the Pirates before coming over to the Braves. Now he's a .146 hitter. Melky Cabrera was "decent" in Yankee pinstripes and now he comes to a less pressure situation in Atlanta and he can't even sniff the Mendoza line. Troy Glaus is a shell of his former self. Yunel Escobar is constantly in LA LA land and on any other team would have been benched for his fuck ups on the field. Pendleton hasn't done shit with any of these batters making adjustments.

Right now I'm scared he is going to screw up The J-Hey Kid. Already Bobby Cox is complaining about him taking too many pitches. Jesus F-ing Christ! Heyward is not the problem Bobby! Look at what Adam Laroche is doing in Arizona. Check out Andruw Jones in Chicago and what Casey Kotchman is looking like in Seattle. One or two guys maybe a coincidence but when it reaches 10 or more players then I'm positive the problem is the hitting coach or lack there of one in TP. It's time to make a change. Don't let him fuck up Heyward. Loyalty can only take you so far Bobby and right now it's taking you straight to last place in your final season at The Ted.

"TP IS FOR BUNGHOLES!" is what my buddy Andrew texted me today when describing the Braves performance in 2010. Who knew that a visionary named Beavis would be so correct?...

MOTIVATIONAL PICTURE OF THE DAY

Big ass HT to George Lee for posting this picture.

OLDIE BUT A GOODIE

Star Wars: WTF! - watch more funny videos

I just had to post this. I'm not sure why it makes me laugh so hard but just seeing Hans Solo's face is priceless. Who knew George Lucas had such a warped sense of humor?

ST. LOUIS RAMS FAN OR NEW MULTIMILLIONAIRE?

Does this look like the face of a guy who just won $258 million dollars in the Powerball by spending $5 on tickets when he only had $28.96 in his checking account while trying to feed 3 kids? Why yes it is. This Show Me State resident showed his pearly whites yesterday as he accepted his winnings for being the lucky bastard to have the winning numbers in the Powerball game. Chances of him having the money or even living past 5 years has to be 10%. He does kind of have that Sam Bradford "oh shit I'm a new multimillionaire in Missouri" look on his face.

QUICK THOUGHTS ON THE FIRST ROUND

1. St. Louis Rams - Sam Bradford, QB, University of Oklahoma-David Carr 2.0. He is going to get destroyed in St. Louis.
2. Detroit Lions - Ndamukong Suh, DT, University of Nebraska-Absolute steal of a pick even at #2. The Rams will regret not taking House of Spears for years to come.
3. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Gerald McCoy, DT, University of Oklahoma-Should be serviceable but I have my doubts of him ever being a Pro Bowler with his size.
4. Washington Redskins - Trent Williams, OT, University of Oklahoma-He did a great job of protecting Bradford...oh wait.
5. Kansas City Chiefs - Eric Berry, S, University of Tennessee-Grand Theft Berry is the closest thing to a sure bet as Suh is. Ed Reed 2.0 and a great pick for the Chiefs.
6. Seattle Seahawks - Russell Okung, OT, Oklahoma State University-Only gave up a sack once in his career. Walter Jones replacement.
7. Cleveland Browns - Joe Haden, CB, University of Florida-Kid plays hard all the time. Might not be the fastest cover corner but he will be a good pro.
8. Oakland Raiders - Rolando McClain, LB, Univeristy of Alabama-I actually really like this pick for the Raiders. McClain is a future Pro Bowler. Congrats to Al Davis for not being so senile.
9. Buffalo Bills - C.J. Spiller, RB, Clemson University-Good knowing you C. J. Have fun in Canada!
10. Jacksonville Jaguars - Tyson Alualu, DT, University of California-What the fuck? Seriously Jaguars? The kid can play but why not trade down and get more picks?
11. San Francisco 49ers (from Denver) - Anthony Davis, OL, Rutgers-Great pick by the 49ers. Davis is another solid piece to an already good line in San Fran.
12. San Diego Chargers (from Miami) - Ryan Matthews, RB, Fresno State-I have my doubts with Matthews but anybody could run for 1000 plus yards with the Chargers line.
13. Philadelphia Eagles (from Denver) - Brandon Graham, OLB, University of Michigan-As much as I hate Michigan and the Eagles I love this pick. Graham will be an All-Pro for many years.
14. Seattle Seahawks (from Denver) - Earl Thomas, S, University of Texas-Everyone seems to love Thomas. I'm not one of them. Berry is light years ahead of him.
15. New York Giants - Jason Pierre-Paul, DE, University of South Florida-Sweet strip club last night Jason. Let me guess it was the Rosenhaus's idea?
16. Tennessee Titans - Derrick Morgan, DE, Georgia Tech-When he decides to play there is no better DE in this draft.
17. San Francisco 49ers (from Carolina Panthers) - Mike Iupati, OG, University of Idaho-Never seen his face before yesterday. Gotta love the Samoans though.
18. Pittsburgh Steelers - Maurkice Pouncey, C, University of Florida-Nothing like celebrating in a double wide while making out with dudes while hitting your head on popcorn ceilings. You win Pouncey.
19. Atlanta Falcons - Sean Weatherspoon, OLB, University of Missouri-I'm 50/50 on this pick. I wanted Graham for the Falcons but the Eagles traded up to nab him. Weatherspoon was the next best thing I suppose. We will see.
20. Houston Texans - Kareem Jackson, CB, University of Alabama-Had to get a corner to replace Dunta Robinson.
21. Cincinnati Bengals - Jermaine Gresham, TE, University of Oklahoma-Good pick by the Bengals but didn't they just draft a tight end last year in Chase Coffman?
22. Denver Broncos (from New England) - DeMaryius Thomas, WR, Georgia Tech-Wow, the first receiver taken is Thomas. The kid was a stud in a triple option offense so he is used to catching ducks which should be plenty from Tebow.
23. Green Bay Packers - Bryan Bulaga, OT, University of Iowa-Kind of surprised he fell this far but also surprised they didn't take Dez Bryant. But then again they needed to protect Aaron Rodgers who maybe the best QB in the game. No joking.
24. Dallas Cowboys (from New England) - Dez Bryant, WR, Oklahoma State University-The Cowboys trade up to steal one from the Ravens. This pick has a Randy Moss feel to it. A lot of teams will regret not taking a chance on the kid.
25. Denver Broncos (from Baltimore) - Tim Tebow, QB, University of Florida-I like Tebow. I really do. The kid does everything the right way and is a good football player and an even better human being. With that being said this was one of the dumbest selections ever. McDaniels is on the hotseat immediately.
26. Arizona Cardinals - Dan WIlliams, DT, University of Tennessee-Williams will be a better pro than Gerald McCoy. Just watch.
27. New England Patriots (from Dallas) - Devin McCourty, DB, Rutgers-Looked good on film. Holy Shit! Rutgers with 2 first round picks. USC, Georgia, and Notre Dame combine for 0.
28. Miami Dolphins (from San Diego) - Jared Odrick, DT, Penn State University-Probably a Miley Cyrus fan.
29. New York Jets - Kyle Wilson, CB, Boise State University-Who fucking knows.
30. Detroit Lions (from Minnesota) - Jahvid Best, RB, University of California-Big fan of Best and I hope he tears it up in Detroit. Suh and Best are great selections for the Lions. Seriously.
31. Indianapolis Colts - Jerry Hughes, DE, TCU-Not as quick as Dwight Freeney but could develop into a Pro Bowl type player for the Colts.
32. New Orleans Saints - Patrick Robinson, CB, Florida State University-Should have taken Sergio Kindle here. FSU players are overrated.

PENN STATE TAILGATERS LOVE THEIR MILEY CYRUS

Shit they don't even pretend not to like Miley Cyrus. I'm pretty sure playing anything Miley Cyrus at your tailgate is grounds for disturbing the peace much less a tailgate. I award you Penn State fans. Just when I think you can't get any more embarrassing you go out and totally redeem yourself.

BEST PART OF THE NFL DRAFT: MAURKICE POUNCEY SELECTION

It's good to know the Rooney family is getting rid of all the trash on their team by trading away Super Bowl MVP Santonio Holmes to the Jets and looking to deal Rapelisberger before he assaults another chick in some bar. It's classy guys like Florida center Maurkice Pouncey who love to bend over in front of Tim Tebow their whole college career and decide a double wide trailer would be the best place to celebrate getting drafted will bring the respect back to the Steelers organization. And to top it all off he not only loves to go "hogging" in Panama City but he also enjoys making out with dudes (yes, I know it's his twin brother which kind of makes it more weird) before heading off to a blue collar city like Pittsburgh.

Thank God the Steelers took Pouncey. He seems like a great fit for Pittsburgh. Double wide and all.

TAILGATING AT THE TED WIN OR LOSE WE ALWAYS BOOZE SHIRT

Cue the mother fucking $$$$$$ signs! This shirt has cult classic written all over it. Whenever you head down to The Ted to see The J-Hey Kid or Big Red throw another gem you have to be wearing this shirt if you plan on doing some serious tailgating. The chances of you getting a free beer in The Ted goes up tremendously with this tee and the chances of you getting laid are about 99.99999% guaranteed.

You can buy it now for immediate shipment at our STORE PAGE. And in case you were wondering this was designed by Dave Bregande. The idea was all mine but Dave agrees with me the Native Americans like the sauce a little too much. And before you send me some hate mail please remember that we are equal opportunity offenders here.

But it now!!!!

BRIAN KOWNACKI LEAPS THE CATCHER

Fordham's Brian Kownacki might have made the most athletic play on a baseball field I have ever seen. Seriously, can you think of a more unbelievable play? I can't.


Big HT to Dave Bregande for the clip. If you are looking for a professional graphic designer who does excellent work then I highly recommend contacting Dave.

MAYBE NOT THE BEST PLACE TO PUT THOSE K SIGNS

The unintentional hatred/comedy was through the roof last night at Safeco Field as Doug Fister (hence the K's with the fist) was mowing down Orioles batters (who hasn't) and some fan was posting K's right next to Jackie Robinson's retired 42 number. If you were wondering where Bartman has been hiding all these years I think we have found our answer. Now go ahead and hate this kid for no good reason.

Image HT: Deadspin

DAN BOYLE HAD MONEY RIDING ON THE AVALANCHE

The San Jose Sharks defenseman Dan Boyle must have had a lot of dough or a family members life dependent on the Colorado Avalanche last night because shit like this doesn't happen to you in the playoffs...


I would put Boyle on immediate suicide watch. I don't even know how you can fuck up this bad.

Video HT: HotClicks

SOME JASON HEYWARD FACTS

The legend of the J-Hey Kid continues to grow as yesterday Heyward got his second shaving cream pie in less than two weeks after hitting the game winning 2 RBI single with two outs in the ninth against the Rockies. The kid has an OPS over 1000 and has driven in 15 runs which is good for second in the majors. I think it's time for him to move up in the lineup. Just a hunch but I think J-Hey can handle the bat just fine batting in the leadoff spot. Here are some Jason Heyward facts sent in from Patrick who got it from Guyism.com...

1. Jason Heyward uses a bat made from one of Chuck Norris’ femurs.

2. Jason Heyward doesn’t strike-out. The balls are just so afraid of his bat that they refuse to be hit.

3. A man who went into cardiac arrest at Turner Field didn’t need to be resuscitated with adrenaline filled needles, someone just yelled “Jason Heyward,” and the man woke back up.

4. At 20, Jason Heyward can’t legally drink. But if he could, his drink would be made with Johnnie Walker Blue and the tears of opposing pitchers.

5. Jason Heyward hit so many bombs during spring training that he’s now on the TSA’s No-Fly List.

6. Jason Heyward once hit a home run so hard that it traveled through time and counted for the previous day’s game. Because of the extra runs, his team won and the MLB implemented the “Heyward Space Time Continuum Rule” in order to prevent future home runs from dictating the outcome of past games.

7. Atlanta doesn’t have a Bat Signal, they simply shine a picture of Jason Heyward in the sky when they need a bat-themed hero.

8. Jason Heyward once hit a ball so high that it blocked out the sun for two days. During those two days Stonehenge was constructed.

9. Eyjafjallajokull Volcano? That’s where Heyward’s second home run landed.

10. Bill Brasky often tells stories about his time with Jason Heyward.

THE CLEVELAND CAVS BONE THUGS N HARMONY PLAYOFF SONG

HT: Dave

Finally the NBA Playoffs are about to begin. Total homer pick here but I'm going to say Denver vs. Atlanta in the Finals. Those were my two favorite teams growing up and they are pretty much the only teams that I really watch these days. I want to see the Birdman vs. J-Smooth.

LIFE LESSONS WITH MR. T

How did Mr. T never become our Surgeon General? The guy was a fucking genius who would deliver all the hard hitting facts on how to make your life and the others around you better back in the 80's. Our country died a little bit when Mr. T vanished from the spotlight. Never forget Mr. T. I pity the fool who does.

ORLANDO HUDSON THINKS JERMAINE DYE CAN'T GET A JOB BECAUSE OF RACISM

Jeff Passan of Yahoo Sports has a great read on possible racism in regards to black free agents in baseball. No BS either, this is what the Minnesota Twins Orlando Hudson thinks...

"You see guys like Dye without a job. Guy with [27 home runs and 81 RBIs] and can't get a job. Pretty much sums it up right there, no? You've got some guys who miss a year who can come back and get $5, $6 million, and a guy like Jermaine Dye can't get a job. A guy like Gary Sheffield, a first-ballot Hall of Famer, can't get a job. We both know what it is. You'll get it right. You'll figure it out. I'm not gonna say it because then I'll be in [trouble]. Call it what you want to,” Hudson said. “I ain’t fit to say it. After I retire I’ll say it. I’ve got a whole bunch of stuff to say after I retire."

Listen I have no fucking clue if there is racism among MLB executives but what I do know is that teams have shown interest in Dye and he has yet to sign. The Washington Nationals have offered him a contract and Dye turned them down. The reason why teams aren't offering Dye huge money to sign was because he was horrible in the 2nd half of 2009 ("batting .179 and slugging .297 while playing subpar defense in right field") and because he is 36 years old. Nobody wants a deteriorating 36 year old with declining stats for $5 million plus a season. It's the economics of the game.

And please don't start the Gary Sheffield argument. He's 41 years old and has never shown any loyalty to a team or teammates for that matter. Fuck him and his juicing ass.

But I guess I can see where Hudson is coming from since there are hardly any white players in the NBA. That's racism right?

I REMEMBER KIRBY PUCKETT BEING A LITTLE MORE CHUBBY

Image courtesy of The Big Lead

Life like my ass! Even Kirby Puckett Jr. is smirking at it. The Twinkies opened their new digs out yesterday at Target Field with a nice little victory over the Boston Red Sox. The ballpark looked great without snow and without a lake next to it. I guess I can dig the Puckett bronze statue. The guy was one of my favorite players growing up. I had a poster of Puckett thumb nailed on my wall. It was shredded down after the 1991 World Series. Let's just say I got a little piece of revenge on those white hanky waving bastards.

No hard feelings though since I've put all my hate into Lonnie Smith for that Series loss. Fucking coke head couldn't just look at his base coach. Is it so hard to just run as hard as possible to the white line Lonnie as you did on a little mirror?

AN AMERICAN ICON PRESENTS MICHAEL PHELPS

American Gold Medalist swimmer Michael Phelps was one of 9,239 people who decided taking in a Baltimore Orioles games seemed like a fun thing to do at the time. Of course the O's managed to lose another game to a very good Rays team and now sit at 1-6 and in the basement of the American League. But what does Phelps care? When I look at him here I can't help but think of Spicoli. "That was my skull! I'm so wasted!"

Image courtesy of AP

CHAN HO PARK DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO HOLD HIS SHIT TOGETHER

Talk about a candid interview you won't ever get with the likes of Tiger Woods who are so image conscious. This lovely interview with the New York Yankees Chan Ho Park is all about honesty and integrity. "I had a lot of diarrhea!" could instantly become a cult classic. The marketing possibilities are endless for the Yankees. You could do an Imodium Night or a Charmin Ultra Soft (my preferred ass wiping brand) give away. I don't even like Koreans or the Yankees but I would go to one of those free promotion nights.

PS-I don't really hate Koreans, just their food. Gives me the shits.

Video HT: Jeff

TIGER WOODS YOU SUCK!

Tiger Woods cost me a $5 bet with my wife yesterday by finishing 4th. I made the bet thinking he would win the Masters because supposedly he has gone 4-5 months without any nookie while in "Sex Rehab" and like Costanza he would be able to cure cancer or some shit since he was abstinent. Fucker couldn't even beat Lefty. I love Verne Lundquist thoughts on Tiger's shot: "I don't think he's pleased!"

Tiger needs to go back to doing what he did before leaving golf: sinking putts while nailing sluts.

TEXAS STADIUM IMPLODES

Sorry it took so long. The reason why the implosion was delayed was because Tony Romo managed to fumble the control.

JASON HEYWARD'S FIRST MAJOR LEAGUE SWING

From a fan's perspective...



I've watched Jason Heyward's first home run/hit/swing of his major league career probably about 145 times already and I still get the chills every single time. The mother fucking J-Hey Kid has brought back baseball fever to Atlanta. Hey-fever to be exact.

Video HT: Will

CONGRATULATIONS DUKE

You won your 4th NCAA Title under Coach K or "The Rat" as I like to call him. If you would have told me before the tournament started that Duke would win the title I would have called you crazy. But then again I didn't get any of my Final Four teams right and my bracket was fucked as soon as Kansas lost to Northern Iowa. Somehow Duke managed to win with a team that really has no stars (Scheyer and Singler resemble more Nazi than hoops star) and with a center in Zoubek who is slow footed and fouls constantly yet manages to stay in the game. And no I'm not hating on Duke because it's the cool thing to do. I've always hated Duke. Ever since Christian Laettner and Bobby Hurley were tag teaming each other.

With Duke winning this also proves the ACC is the best conference in the nation. Sorry Big East fans. When you guys start winning big boy championships and not women's hoops then you can come talking about how elite your conference is. With that said I leave you with this classic video in honor of the Dookies...

MARK BUEHRLE'S AMAZING BETWEEN THE LEGS BACKWARD FLIP

This is the beauty of baseball. Just when you think you have seen it all then something completely unfathomable happens. This Mark Buehrle backwards-between-the-legs-glovehand-flip-of-the-baseball is one of those plays you will never see again.

WELCOME TO THE SHOW JASON HEYWARD

First day of the season and I have already gotten the chills, jumped up and down, and peed a little bit on myself after Jason "The J-Hey Kid" Heyward absolutely crushed the shit out of a 2-0 fastball in his first major league at-bat.

Catch the first pitch from Hank Aaron: Check

Hit first big league home run: Check

Already a legend by crushing a 446 foot home run in first major league at bat: Priceless

I RETRACT MY BLANKET STATEMENT ON BASEBALL PLAYERS BEING SALLYS

Vanderbilt pitcher Corey Williams shattered his right kneecap from the line drive off a Florida Gators metal bat and still managed to get the out. Yeah. That guy can play for me any day.

Opening Day is upon us. The fresh air of unrealistic expectations are ready to bloom. Gotta love it though. As an avid Baltimore Orioles and Atlanta Braves fan I'm pretty f-ing excited about this season. The Orioles should be much improved with a team that will make some noise in an always rough AL East. They won't contend for a playoff spot this season but they should mature and be ready to knock off the Yankees and Red Sox in the near future with some excellent young talent blossoming (Brian Matusz, Brad Bergesen, Chris Tillman, David Hernandez, Jake Arrieta, Matt Wieters, Nolan Reimold, Felix Pie, Nick Markakis, etc.)

The Braves on the other hand have a legitimate shot at contending for a playoff spot this season. It's Bobby Cox final season and the pitching will be anchored with 4 solid starters (Lowe, Hanson, Jurrjens, Hudson) and the offense should be much better with a rebound season from Chipper Jones expected and the addition of power bats in Troy Glaus and some rookie named Jason Heyward whom you may have heard of. At the very least they should contend for a Wild Card spot.

Here are some predictions for 2010:

AL EAST: New York Yankees-Top to bottom they have the best players in the majors right now. Jeter, A-Roid, and fuckface Teixeira are all future Hall of Famers and will produce because they always do. The pitching will be excellent with C.C., Burnett, Pettitte, and Vasquez. Plus their payroll is $200 million so they can buy whatever the fuck they want.

AL CENTRAL: Detroit Tigers-I'm just going on a hunch here. I think the Tigers are going to be one of the best teams in the majors this season. Verlander will be a Cy Young contender and the bullpen should be excellent.

AL WEST: Anaheim Angels-Just because they lost Lackey to the Red Sox doesn't mean all of a sudden the Angels are going to suck. They are still the best team in the AL West and despite the Seattle Mariners making a ton of improvements the Angels still have their number.

AL WILD CARD: Tampa Bay Rays-They edge out the Red Sox if they don't trade away Carlos Pena and Carl Crawford.

NL EAST: Philadelphia Phillies-Best team in the National League. No need to argue here.

NL CENTRAL: Cincinnati Reds-They are my surprise team this season. I think they got the pitching and young hitting to put together a special season in an awful division.

NL WEST: Colorado Rockies-All of the other teams in this West got worse. The Rockies got better. I like them for 90 plus wins this year.

NL WILD CARD: Atlanta Braves-Bobby Cox's final season goes out with a bang with a World Series ring...just kidding. They will make the playoffs though.

GET A ROOM ALREADY BOB HUGGINS

That about as close to one can get without making out. I was anticipating Huggin's tongue to wreck some havoc on Desean Butler lips at any moment. Apparently whatever Huggins said worked because Butler hobbled off the court and appeared okay for being in such dramatic pain shortly before. The moment seemed awkward and about as genuinely honest as John Calipari. I felt the need to bathe myself in vinegar while sucking my thumb because I thought I just witnessed two guys who were just ready to fuck each other right there in Indy.

With that being said Happy Easter everybody!

NOTRE DAME RECRUIT MATT JAMES DIES IN FALL FROM BALCONY

Picture courtesy of UHND.com

Tragic news out of Panama City, Florida where yesterday star Notre Dame offensive lineman recruit Matt James died after falling off a third-story balcony at a Days Inn while vacationing for spring break. James was set to enroll at Notre Dame in two months and was just one week short of his 18th birthday. According to police reports he died instantly.

“The Notre Dame football program is in a state of disbelief and incredible sadness with the news of this tragic event,” Notre Dame coach Brian Kelly said in a press statement. “Our thoughts and prayers go out to the family and friends of Matt James in this most trying of times.”
“On a personal level, I got to know Matt quite well over the past few years and he was a wonderful young man from a great family. Matt was an extremely talented person who was very bright and possessed a great dry sense of humor. He could not wait to join the Notre Dame family,” Kelly said. “My prayers and deepest condolences go out to the James family as well as the St. Xavier High School and Cincinnati communities.”

James by all accounts was an excellent person as well as a football player. He was selected to the first team All-USA Today Team and was a Top 100 recruit according to Rivals.com. The Cincinnati recruit picked Notre Dame over Ohio State on signing day two months ago and was considered a major recruiting coup for new coach Brian Kelly. Toxicology tests and an investigation has been launched into the cause of James death.

R.I.P. MATT JAMES

KEVIN GARNETT FELT LIKE THEY WERE PLAYING DUKE LAST NIGHT

Kevin Garnett: "We were playing Michael Fucking Jordan!"

Ok, KG was not referencing the Duke Basketball team. He was talking about Kevin Durant and the fact that Durant went 15 for 15 from the free throw line last night. Durant was getting to the line like Duke gets to the line. And both are fucking perimeter ballers.

I can understand KG's frustration. You feel like you playing 8 against 5. But the Celtics blow. Hear me KG? You guys are old and washed up.

The Atlanta Hawks are the hottest team in the East right now. They blew out the Lakerslast night at home. With less than 10 games to go to the playoffs you better recognize the Hawks as the favorite. Forget the Cavs and the Magic. They have no depth. Put your money down on Atlanta today and thank me later.

Video HT: Deadspin