A.J. HARMON "KINDA" COMMITS TO GEORGIA
Offensive lineman A.J. Harmon is the #1 rated prep offensive guard in the nation but even after verbally committing to Georgia during the US Army All-American game he still doesn't exactly know who #1 is among his choices. This is even after he claimed he was a 100% committed to Clemson...

"When I committed to them [Clemson] I was 100 percent," Harmon said. "I am 100 percent Georgia right now.

"But I know it is not over until February," he said. "I hope I can make a decision by February."

See this is the new world of recruiting. Today a verbal pledge means little to the recruit or the coaches recruiting them. It just means the team they committed to is the current leader. And in the instance of a few recruit head cases out there it really means nothing. In some cases I can understand a recruit opening up their recruitment whether it deals with grades, coaching changes, or being closer to home. But in the case of Harmon I really just want to shake the big guy and tell him to make up his fucking mind. If you are not sure then why commit?

With a little over 4 weeks left till National Signing Day, here are some of the recruits who "verbally" declared this past weekend in the US Army All-American game and ESPN's Under Armor Game:

-Patrick Johnson, the #1 rated cornerback in the nation, committed to LSU after an earlier verbal to Miami. Johnson is the type of player who can step in right away and play and if he indeed lands in Les Miles hands he is a major coup out of the Florida area.

-Deion Walker, a 6'3 top 5 wide receiver in the nation out of Virginia verbally committed to Notre Dame at the Under Armor game. Walker joins a Notre Dame class that is currently #1 ranked by Rivals.com and joins Michael Floyd and John Goodman in the current class of 6'3 or tall receivers. Walker will need to put on some weight before he see the playing field in South Bend.


-LSU picked up a home-state product in TE Tyler Edwards out of nearby Monroe. Edwards is a top 5 prep tight end in the country and was offered by every major SEC power.

-Georgia lost out on a home product in WR Josh Jarboe out of Cedar Grove high school. Jarboe is a top 10 prep wide receiver who verbally committed to Bob Stoops and Oklahoma. Expect early playing time for Jarboe next season in Norman, he is that good.

-Solomon Koehler, a DT out of Hawaii, pledged to Arizona despite heavily weighing an offer from his home state. Maybe the departure of June Jones played a part or maybe he just wanted to go to school in the desert with a ton of hot chicks. I think I will go with the later.

-Gerell Robinson, a great all-around player who will play receiver in college, picked Arizona State over Notre Dame at the US Army game. Rumors had been flying that Robinson looked to be all Irish leading up to the declaration, but Robinson decided to stay close to home and attend ASU. He will have a chance to play right away in Tempe and can also play safety in the college game.

-MarQueis Gray, a highly touted QB out of Indianapolis picked the Minnesota Gophers. More than likely this will be the last time you hear about him till he senior season when he leads the Gophers to a 7 win season.

-Offensive tackle Matt Patchan picked the Gators over heavily-favored Miami. One of the top 10 offensive tackles in the nation, Patchan's father played for Miami in the mid 80's but decided Gainesville would be the best place to get his dick wet for the next 4 years.

-Pitt and Dave Wannstedt(insert joke here) picked up a huge commit in ILB Shayne Hale. Hale decided to stay in-state over going to Ohio State and playing for National Championships. Sounds like a wise decision to me. Oh yeah, Hale could play right away and is versatile enough to also play some defensive end.

-Ryan Williams, a top 5 prep runningback, picked his in-state Hokies over Rutgers and Boston College at the Under Armor game. Williams has a chance to play early in Blacksburg and is a big pick up for Frank Beamer.

-Brandon Smith picked Michigan. He is an athlete out of New Jersey who looks big enough to be a linebacker in college.

Of course the #1 recruit in the nation is QB Terrelle Pryor out of Jeanette, PA. Watching him for the first time live in the US Army game I came away very impressed and can see why he is so heavily hyped. Who ever wins the battle for his service will be getting a great player who has the look of future All-American written all over him. Right now Ohio State, Michigan, and Oregon are in an all out battle. I pray everyday he doesn't pick Michigan.

BETWEEN TWO FERNS WITH Zach Galifianakis

Nothing like some vag talk to start off the work week with that SuperBad actor.

Boo!!

CHRIS BOSH HAS MY VOTE

If he has Bubba's vote it might as well be my vote.

MIKE TRANGHESE=DUMB RICH PRICK
You know I was going to take it easy with the whole non-playoff system known as the BCS because frankly I was tired of arguing about something so easy to implement yet so hard at the same time. But then I read this article today from SI.com's Stewart Mandel on Why a Playoff Will Never Happen and I now feel like I need to add some logical thinking to these rich assholes who continue to think we are all dumb fuckers who need the BCS because a playoff would destroy the meaning of the regular season. Take for instance what Big East douchebag commissioner Mike Tranghese had to say about a playoff system:

"The one thing [all] of us are in agreement on is there isn't going to be a playoff.

Whenever my [league's] presidents have asked me about the positives and negatives of a playoff, I tell them the two positives are [more] money and people will stop yelling and screaming," said Tranghese. "And the negative is that the value and meaning of the regular season will be diminished. Playoff proponents who say that's not true -- that's just pure stupidity."

Tranghese points to Pittsburgh's upset of West Virginia the final night of the regular season, a riveting game that severely impacted the national-championship picture. "If there had been a playoff, who would have watched that game?" he said. "It would have no meaning. West Virginia would already be in the playoff.

"The BCS has created what I call cross-watching," said Tranghese. "An LSU fan had interest in that game, an Ohio State fan had interest in that game. Most of that would go away if we had a football playoff -- that is one thing I'm certain of."

Okay, let's examine Tranghese's first statement of "the negative is that the value and meaning of the regular season will be diminished. Playoff proponents who say that's not true -- that's just pure stupidity." So you are telling me as the leader of the Big East Conference that most people in this nation as college football fans are going to stop watching and caring about the regular season because it won't mean anything if we have a playoff. You know how fucking dumb that sounds. I feel like I just lost a little bit of sanity having to type those words coming out of his mouth. Does he really think people will stop showing up and watching games because they will only care about the playoffs and not whether or not their favorite team or alma mater wins in order to make the playoffs? College football fans are not idiots like Tranghese. Seriously, how did a guy this feeble minded get his job? We may be crazy and irrational when it comes to our own teams but we are not fucking monkeys who can be told what we will watch and care about and what we will not. This guy has no fucking clue and the only "pure stupidity" is the words coming out of his mouth.

Let's move on to his example of the Pitt-West Virginia game. He claims nobody would watch it because West Virginia would already be guaranteed a spot in the playoffs. So by his own rational the other 31 bowl games and countless other regular season games not involving the two teams in the BCS Championship game are pointless and nobody watches them because nobody cares. Funny isn't it? He seems to forget that West Virginia would be playing for the right to a more favorable match up in the first round of a playoff or for a right to play closer to home. This guy seems to think with a playoff nobody will watch the Big East conference or care about it because they would get their asses handed to them in a playoff or at least that is the way it sounds to me.

I also love his "cross-watching" theory of fans from other parts of the country will lose interest in college football regular season games. Personally I lose interest in watching all these meaningless bowl games when I know deep down they don't mean shit other than bragging rights, tv ratings, and money in people's pockets. I mean why would I and millions of others watch all these BCS games and other bowl games when Tranghese knows for a fact that we have no interest in them because of the BCS Championship Game is the only one with National Championship implications. Makes sense right?

I strongly urge all of you reading this if you in some what agree with what I have to say and want to let Tranghese know what you think about a playoff system then email him at mtranghese@bigeast.org. Again his email address is
MTRANGHESE@BIGEAST.ORG.
Email the douchebag and tell him how you feel about what he thinks about your "stupidity." Also you can email the BCS at BCSFOOTBALLORG@HOTMAIL.COM. If you really want a good laugh you can check out the BCS website and notice on the right menu toolbar a few headlines reading:

• Don't mess with BCS
• BCS better than a playoff
• An interview with Mike Slive
• The BCS Works
• Ex-Ga. Tech QB sees folly of playoffs

I can't believe they actually put those on their website to justify anything they do or say.

Also here is the "Unofficial Official Guide To Better Understanding The Reasoning Why The BCS Works And Why A Playoff Doesn't You Fucking Numb nut" presented by the founding members of all the bowls, college presidents, and commissioners of the BCS System.

And for those wondering, here is Tranghese's earlier career work before his promotion to Big East Commissioner under a pen name called The Merrill Howard Kalin Show...

Wait for at least the 5:48 mark, it's disturbing and hysterical to say the least.

PREGNANT JAMIE LYNN SPEARS SPEAKS OUT

I'm still shocked to this day of hearing Britney's little sister is knocked up. And to think of how young and innocent she is by shown in the video above is just disgusting what Brit-Brit is doing to her. The Spears' Family photo is right next to the definition of trailer trash in my Merriam-Webster dictionary. Personally I thought it would have been more appropriate to put Bobby Petrino's picture on there but that is another discussion. I don't know where I'm going with this so I will just stop and sip this frosty NewCastle Brown Ale. Sweet nectar of baby Jesus.

Question: Name me two things you didn't know still existed on the Major League Baseball Level?

ANSWER: THE ROYALS AND HIDEO NOMO

Yesterday the Kansas City Star reported the Royals inked the aging 39 year old Japanese pitcher to a minor league deal with an invitation to Spring Training. To my surprise I thought both Kansas City and Hideo Nomo died and were buried in independent baseball leagues a long time ago. Apparently both have met, kissed, made up, and will start touring this Spring at a Flea Market near you. This is how bad MLB is right now. The Kansas City Royals, who used to be a very proud and honorable franchise in the 80's and actually won games, is now a AAA affiliate because Bud Selig can't implement a strict salary cap. Instead the Royals have to sign aging Japanese gopher ball pitchers while the Yankees and Red Sox battle it out for Johan Santana's rights. Seems fair right?

I know the Royals have been fucked for more reasons than just a salary cap. Shitty upper level management is the main culprit. It's similar to the Catholic church.

Wait for lightning bolt.

Okay, I'm still alive. Seriously if the Catholic Church had some good upper level management in the Vatican City they would have squashed the whole "priests touching boys naughty parts" a long time ago before dishing out hundreds of millions for pain and suffering. If the Royals had some decent upper level management(owner, VP, GM, scout director, etc.) they would have been able to squash the pain and suffering their loyal fans have encountered for decades of horrible baseball. Don't send me hate mail Kansas City and religious freak people, I've had a one way ticket to hell ever since I voted for George Bush.

So I guess we can blame the fall of the Catholic Church, Hideo Nomo, and the Kansas City Royals on none other than the New York Yankees. Why you ask? Because those dicks had some decent management and a shit load of money and fucked up the whole planet starting in the mid 90's. I so need a beer right now.

SOMEONE FORGOT TO TAKE THEIR CRAZY PILLS

A Nation watches in horror as the once proud pop queen is gurneyed out by the paramedics from her own home! Seriously, what the fuck happened to this crazy bitch? I know she is an overweight, no talent assclown now but she used to be the shit before she met K-Fed. See, I'm hip with the lingo bitches! Anyways, I was up all night watching the latest on her...err, umm, scratch that. I mean I was up masturbating all night to Skinemax and was wondering if we have ever seen anybody fall this hard this fast. Sure we had the King of Pop himself but that was a long, slow fall because he paid off thousands of sick kids and their parents to not rat his touchy feely ass out. Britney now has two kids who she is going to lose all custody rights to them because she is a junkie whore. It's similar to watching Roger Clemens Hall of Fame career slowly go down the shitter. Yeah, I can't wait to hear his pathetic excuses this week on "60 Minutes" when he is being interviewed by the guy who sank the Titanic. Oh sure, it was just B-12 shot Rocket! I haven't heard that before you lying fucker.

And yes, if you are wondering I still have a functional penis despite going to TMZ.com to see the latest celebrity news.

A NEW DRINKING GAME
If you have watched any of the first 3 BCS games covered on Fox for more than 30 seconds then you realize that they have a serious fucked up fetish over the school's bands. In fact tonight I decided to count how many times they showed the band and lost count at 80. I've never seen so many ugly fat band chicks since...well, Wednesday nights Fiesta Bowl. So anyways I figured this calls for a new drinking game for the BCS Championship on Monday. At first I thought we should do shots of liquor every time they show the band but then realized all of us would either lose our jobs on Tuesday or die. So I think we should make it a shot of beer. I know it sounds kind of pussy to do shots of beer and might remind a lot of people of getting drunk in high school but if we do liquor I will pass out and piss on myself before the end of the 1st quarter with the rate Fox loves to show the band geeks. So let's keep it beer and I recommend everybody getting at least a case of the light stuff per person. The lower the alcohol percentage the better. I don't want any lawsuits from your wives or girlfriends for causing any brain damage or bladder infections.

Be sure to spread the word this weekend to all your buds, family, and dogs and let's see how many people we can get aboard this great new drinking game called the Sportscrack BCS Band Drink Till You Drunk Dial An Ex Type of Game. Sounds catchy doesn't it?

In fact I might try to live blog it and see how ridiculous my posts/rants/screams of love and pain get as the game goes on and the band continues to strike our beer loving palate.

Please do it at home, you don't want to end up like this guy...

TONIGHT'S ORANGE BOWL MATCHUP

Need I say more. It's Kansas vs. Virginia Tech. Both are as fun to watch as a prostate exam.

Prediction: Kansas 17 Virginia Tech 14

DARK KNIGHT TRAILER

I'm going to go out on a limb and say this will be the best "Batman" film yet. The Joker is without a doubt the best villain in any comic-based film series and the biggest mistake of the original "Batman" film was killing off Jack Nicholson's Joker. After that there was no way the Penguin, Mr. Freeze, or the Riddler were ever going to match the insanity and pure brilliance of the Joker. It appears from the trailer Heath Ledger has nailed the role harder than Maggie Gylenhaal's brother in Brokeback.

In other film news, Batman's Christian Bale has signed on to play John Connor in the upcoming "Terminator" film set to be released in 2009. Also in other film news Lindsay Lohan is still an alcoholic whore and the ending of "No Country for Old Men" completely destroyed a potentially great film up to that point.

JENNIFER ANISTON IS LIKE FINE WINE
It baffles me, the older Aniston gets the better she looks. Take for instance the picture above which was recently taken by stalkerrazzi. Just a year under 40, Aniston continues to shine while ladies like Pamela Anderson turn into transsexual hookers. She is like the Roger Clemens of actresses minus the smug attitude and swollen vagina.

BASEBALL PLAYERS NAILING FAT CHICKS DRINK
Apparently Boston Red Sox 1B and all-around ugly dude Kevin Youkilis has signed on to be the official pitchman of a new drink called "Slump Buster." How great is it that we now have a drink that is inspired by baseball players breaking a hitting slump by nailing the fattest chick possible? Of course in high school we called it hogging and it wasn't to break a slump or anything. Just for shits and giggles and a bruised pelvic area and occasionally the dislocated hip. Ahhh, the good times!

Anyways if you want to add them to your MySpace friends feel free to check them out.

WHITE SOX ACQUIRE NICK SWISHER
Finally we have some hot stove news after a couple weeks off due to the holidays. The Chicago White Sox have just acquired OF Nick Swisher from the A's for minor leaguers Gio Gonzalez, Faustino De Los Santos, and Ryan Sweeney. Swisher will more than likely be the starting center fielder in the Southside and is a great pickup to go in the outfield along with newly acquired Carlos Quentin from the Diamondbacks. Instantly the White Sox and GM Kenny Williams have revitalized the Sox offense with some youth in the outfield for at least the next 2-3 seasons.

Swisher should be an instant fan favorite especially with the ladies(pictured above) and is good for 20-35 HRs along with a .380 plus on base percentage. His big bang potential in Chicago is at least 50 ladies too.

But you know with dealing with Billy Beane and the A's the White Sox were going to have to give up a lot to get Swisher. Gonzalez and De Los Santos are the two best pitchers in the White Sox farm system and Sweeney used to be a highly regarded center fielder with All-Star potential. The A's are rebuilding right now so don't be surprised if more guys like Joe Blanton or Huston Street are traded in the coming weeks.

I think this was a good trade for both teams. The White Sox needed to add more punch to their lineup and get a guy in Swisher who is 27 years old that can add that dimension for at least the next 2 seasons. In a division as tough as the AL Central with the Tigers and Indians looking as viable World Series contenders it was imperative for the White Sox to make a move like this. The A's are just reloading their talent base and will be an up and coming team 2-3 years down the road.

RYAN MALLETT PLANNING TO TRANSFER
According to ToledoBlade.com new Michigan head coach Rich Rodriguez might have already lost his best returning offensive player. Freshman QB Ryan Mallett is apparently looking elsewhere with the hot rumor leading him to Rick Neuheisel and UCLA...

There is speculation out of Ann Arbor that freshman quarterback Ryan Mallett has decided to leave Michigan and will transfer to UCLA, according to a person close to the team.

Michigan associate athletic director Bruce Madej said no paperwork has come across his desk regarding Mallett's transfer and that as far as he knows, Mallett is still enrolled at Michigan.

"He came back with us, so I just saw him yesterday," Madej said. "He was talking with the guys about seeing them next week."

Mallett told The Blade on Dec. 26 during the team's preparations for the Capital One Bowl in Orlando that he wanted to remain a Wolverine next season.

Retired Michigan coach Lloyd Carr said Wednesday he was aware of Mallett's decision but would leave it up to him to make the announcement.

"What I hope is Ryan Mallett stays at Michigan," Carr said Wednesday before boarding a team bus at Orlando's Peabody Hotel. "Because I think potentially he can be one of the great quarterbacks that's come along. He's matured dramatically in the last two or three months."

In a fill-in role for oft-injured quarterback Chad Henne, Mallett started three games this season for the Wolverines and appeared in eight others, throwing for 892 yards with seven touchdowns and five interceptions. He was 3-0 in his starts against Notre Dame, Penn State and Minnesota.

Mallett seems like an odd fit for Rodriguez's spread offense attack so it should come as no surprise he is looking elsewhere. It's an unfortunate situation because Mallett has the skills and fortitude to be a great QB in the future and would be a big loss for the Wolverine program and all the lovely Ann Arbor poon. If Mallett decides to leave Michigan it is presumed by many Wolverine fans that #1 recruit QB Terrelle Pryor will be wearing the Maize and Blue next season. Unfortunately for UM fans that seems far fetched since Pryor seems to be a heavy lean to arch rival Ohio State and has been seen budding it up this week with some Buckeye commits such as OL Mike Adams at the US Army All-American practices. If Rodriguez loses both Mallett and doesn't secure Pryor this could be a real short term marriage with Britney Spears like nastiness ensuing in Ann Arbor.

Meanwhile in West Virginia people laugh as they celebrate their Fiesta Bowl victory and salivate at the chance of watching another full season of Pat White and Noel Devine in the same backfield.

TEXAS' RB CHARLES ENTERING DRAFT, #1 RECRUIT TO REPLACE?
Yesterday superfast, superfly tailback Jamaal Charles (1619 yards rushing, 18 TDs) declared himself NFL worthy by throwing his hat into early entry for the NFL Draft. Charles will be a big loss for the Longhorns who are looking to build momentum off a Holiday Bowl victory over Arizona State into the 2008 season. But could the loss of NCAA All-American sprinting champ Charles make them the favorite to land the #1 RB recruit in the nation in Darrell Scott? It appears so...

Darrell Scott said before Longhorn running back Jamal Charles declared for the NFL Draft, "Really, it's whether or not Jamal Charles comes back. It will be big if he leaves. I don't want to sit out my freshman year. I'm trying to hop in and make some chaos somewhere," the Austin American Statesman reports.
Additionally, it appears that Colorado, where his uncle Josh Smith plays, LSU, and Florida are the other programs in the mix for his signature on national signing day.

Earlier in the week ND commit Jonas Gray stated he and a lot of the other players attending the US Army All-American game thought Scott was already a Longhorn. If Scott does indeed become a Longhorn as expected he has a good chance of at least splitting carries with sophomore Vondrell McGee at tailback next season. It's interesting to note that QB Colt McCoy was the second leading rusher for the Longhorns this season with almost 500 yards.

Oh yeah, Scott had over 3000 yards rushing during his junior campaign! Here is an interview I found of Scott with stalker/high school recruit expert Tom Lemming from a year back...

Also here are some more highlights of Scott to the music of Rage Against the Machine...

CAM CAMERON FIRED, KIRK NEXT?
Bill Parcells is taking his new job as VP of Football Operations very serious and destroying any poor soul involved with the massacre that was the 2007 Miami Dolphins season. The latest to get fired is head coach Cam Cameron after a 1-15 season.

Parcells made the decision to fire Cameron in consultation with new general manager Jeff Ireland, hired Wednesday after seven years in player personnel with the Dallas Cowboys.

"We just felt in order to move forward and not look back, we needed someone in place who shared the same philosophical compatibilities we shared," Ireland said. "We didn't really know the guy that well. We were going to try to get someone that does share those things, and we weren't completely sold that he did."

Ireland said the philosophy he and Parcells share involves creating a culture of winning.

"We want strong character around here," Ireland said. "The vision of the team will be discipline, passionate players, highly competitive. And we'll be a big team."

So I guess you are telling me drafting a punt returner/third receiver with the #9 pick in Ted Ginn and then justifying not taking Brady Quinn with that pick by drafting John Beck in the second round was a not so smart pick. The Dolphins thought they were drafting the whole Ginn family last year only to realize they drafted a guy who is not even close to a poor man's version of Devin Hester.

In essence we all saw the writing on the wall for Cameron and GM Randy Mueller by this reaction from the Dolphin's fan base on learning they made one of the all-time dumbdick moves in NFL Draft History...

I love Chris Mortenson's line at the end: "Yeah, but what do the fan's know?" Apparently a lot more about football than Cameron or Mueller.

OWEN SCHMIDT=RUNAWAY BEER TRUCK

I don't even know what it really means in relation to mohawk wearing Schmidt but I like the nickname given to him by the Fox announcer. West Fuckin Virginia pounded the Oklahoma Sooners into submission last night giving the Sooners their 4th straight BCS loss. If this was Notre Dame of course the whole nation would be screaming bloody murder but that is another discussion for a drunk day. The blowout win convinced West Virginia officials to name interim coach Bill Stewart the new permanent one today after a convincing 48-28 win in which the Mountaineers played with more passion and determination than the Sooners. Anyone thinking that passion doesn't play a part in the college game today needs to hit the playback button on this game because West Virginia won it simply because they wanted it more.

I'm not going to lie this game was brutal to watch because of the band factor. After every fucking play the stupid Sooners band would break out their dumb fucking tune that was more annoying than a mariachi band. I know I'm going to get a lot of shit from band geeks and band lovers but I could really do without bands all together in the college game. I don't mind the halftime stuff or them leading the team out before the game starts but I can't stand hearing them play their stupid gay tune after every play. It's more annoying than a case of severe beer diarrhea.

Video HT: AwfulAnnouncing

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS

First off, I think New Year's resolutions are stupid. Every year I've wished my little Irish/Scottish fella would grow out to be a deadly python so I could wear really short bicycle shorts to the gym and work out in front of the ladies and see their faces. But it hasn't come true so seriously what is the point.

Maybe drink a little less. Haha, yeah right, not with the way my Baltimore Orioles and Notre Dame Fighting Irish have played recently. If anything with the Orioles again sucking nuts and Notre Dame losing studs like Omar Hunter to Urban Liar it is just another reason to drink the pain away. Maybe I could lose a few pounds but what is the point since I'm getting married. I can blow up and still get laid. Oh I know what would be a great resolution: make this blog funny. I'll try and make it funny without all the pissing and moaning and fart and poop jokes. I'll keep the porn though guys.

Anyways, Happy New Year's to all of you Sportscrack Heads. Leave your resolution on the comment section if you dare.

2008 Sugar Bowl Championship Gear
Hey Dawgs fans, celebrate the royal ass kicking from yesterday's Sugar Bowl Championship with the official gear from the game. Go to the Sportscrack Store Page to get the shirts, hats and even the official DVD of the game. Watch Colt Brennan get destroyed over, and over, and over again up close. Trust me it will never get old to see the Dawgs on DVD running all over the Hawaii Warriors.

BONERAMA PLAYS NATIONAL ANTHEM
Only a city like New Orleans and a station with the moral ineptitude of Fox would decide to let a band called Bonerama play the National Anthem before the Sugar Bowl last night. Being the degenerate I am I must admit I love the name of the band and applaud Fox for the pick of the bonerific group. I also thought it was pretty amusing to see Jimmy Johnson get a chuckle when Chris Rose announced who the band was. Here is the clip you bonerheads...


HT: AwfulAnnouncing

MARCUS THOMAS IN HAWAI'I NOW MEANS
The baddest most brutal force to hit the Big Island since that shitty Ben Affleck movie...

This sack hurt Colt Brennan so bad it actually made him cry. Seriously, I'm not fucking around, the guy was crying on the sidelines. Apparently his vagina was swollen from Dawg bites.

WOW! URBAN MEYER IS A DICK!
Here are some direct quotes from Urban Liar after today's loss to Michigan in the Capital One Bowl in which he completely throws some of his players under the bus, runs over them, and makes sure to back up in the process. This is from the PalmBeachPost.com...

"We thought we had some answers early in the season," said Meyer, "and some of those young guys didn't live up to the standards we've set. Our goal is to be the New England Patriots of college football."

"Well, for those guys who just put in their time and didn't make any real contributions, it's time for you to go. It won't be hard to say goodbye to some of those guys who just went through the motions. Now for those kids who actually bought into the program, and who made some sacrifices and contributions -- you know, like Bubba Caldwell....he's a graduate of UF and had a great career -- you'll really miss those guys. But just because you're a senior doesn't mean you have any value."

It's good to know that the players who don't cut it in Meyer's eyes are viewed as garbage and a waste for Florida's program. I couldn't imagine playing my ass off for a guy like that who basically tells you to go fuck off because you don't play as well as Tim Tebow or Percy Harvin. It's one thing to go to the player and tell him you want more out of him but it is a whole other thing to kick a guy on their way out and tell them they don't have "any value" to your program.

Congratulations Urban! You are the current #1 horse for biggest dick in college football for 2008.

HOCKEY IN THE SNOW: B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L

While I think it was pretty idiotic for the NHL to schedule this game during all the January 1st bowl games, I must admit that I turned it on and watched a lot of the game on NBC. Seeing hockey played outside in the snow is right up there with watching midget pudding wrestling in Mexico. Okay, maybe the pudding makes it a little more arousing to some but you get my point. If you don't go to Juarez to the Pequeno Midgeto Cantina. It's worth the tequila and the ensuing blackout.

SUGAR BOWL PREDICTION
I've been going back and forth on this game more often than a drunk with a weak bladder but have finally come up with a solid prediction. In the one corner you have the crazy Island people who love to surf and catch the sun while playing with some of the best offensive players in the country including a quarterback who has shattered numerous NCAA records on the way to a perfect 12-0 season. In the other corner you have the laid back Georgian team which outfits athletes at every position who come into the Sugar Bowl contest as one of the hottest teams in the nation thanks to the outstanding play of RB "Special K"nowshon Moreno.

We know the Hawaii offense can put up a lot of points with June Jone's Run n' Shoot offense but will they be able to handle the depth the Dawgs bring into the game that can essentially wear them down in the latter stages of the ball game?

NOPE.

The Dawgs are going to come out with their ears pinned back early in the game and will constantly blitz to see how the Hawaii offense adjusts to their stunts. Whether or not Colt Brennan can pick up the blitzes will determine how long Hawaii "hangs" in this game. Brennan has had nagging injury problems throughout this season and I can see one coming up soon.

The other quarterback on the field, Matthew Stafford, will look to stay away from the costly turnovers a young QB is prone to have in a big bowl game. With numerous starts under his belt and his confidence growing, Stafford should have a decent game when all is said and done. RB Thomas Brown will step up to team with Moreno to provide a potent running attack that will keep the ball out of the hands of Brennan and company.

In what will be an up and down first half with plenty of scoring in the SuperDome, the Dawgs will simply out muscle and out man a Hawaii team with aspirations of winning their first BCS game in the second half.

PREDICTION: GEORGIA 38 HAWAII 28

JANUARY 1ST PREDICTIONS
It's 2008 and it's time to get some college football predictions out of the way. So put down the Natty Light and put away the glass sculpture you sexual deviant and take a peek inside these picks.

WISCONSIN VS. TENNESSEE: Erik Ainge will finally play his last game of what seems like his 30 year career for the Vols. Too bad he again chokes the chicken during clutch time.
Prediction: Wisconsin 31 Tennessee 20

MISSOURI VS. ARKANSAS: D-MAC'S last game for the Razorbacks should be a memorable one for himself personally. Unfortunately for the Razorback faithful a game without a head coach is a lame duck team for the most part. Chase Daniel makes himself an early favorite for the 2008 Heisman.
Prediction: Missouri 42 Arkansas 28

MICHIGAN VS. FLORIDA: Seriously, how in the fuck's name did Lloyd Carr win the Bobby Dodd Coach of the Year Award? That is like giving an Oscar to Brendan Fraser. This is a classic SEC vs. Big Ten battle in which Michigan is totally overmatched.
Prediction: Florida 31 Michigan 17

TEXAS TECH VS. VIRGINIA: I really don't give a shit and could care less about watching these two teams play.
Prediction: Texas Tech 42 Virginia 31

ILLINOIS VS. USC: This match up blows donkey dick but those rich pricks at the Rose Bowl committee get their desired wet dream of a Big Ten vs. Pac-10 game. The Fighting Zooks will give it their all but the Killing OJ's will wear them down with their borderline good/great defense.
Prediction: USC 24 Illinois 10

GEORGIA VS. HAWAII COMING UP!

MEMORABILIA NOW AVAILABLE
Looking for a great autograph piece to put on your wall? Well then check out the new Memorabilia page. We will be adding a lot of new stuff on there in the upcoming weeks and if you have any requests we can probably get it.

Check out this cool piece with an actual bench slab signed by Brady Quinn.

$10 SPECIAL PRICE ON FUSC AND GAYTORS SHIRTS
Visit our store page today and tomorrrow in order to get a limited special price for all our FUSC and Gaytors shirts.

$10 only on the 28th and 29th. Spread the word, buy the shirt, drink the drink.







CLICK HERE FOR SPORTSCRACK STORE PAGE

RED HEADED STEPCHILD TOUCHES BALL, NATION WATCHES
If you watched last night's Holiday Bowl on ESPN you would have seen Mack Brown's stepson Chris Jessie make one of the all-time bonehead moves on the sideline. The Longhorns were about to recover a fumble when all hell broke loose. In Texas it was proclaimed "what in Bevo's t-bone fuck are you doing?" while the rest of the nation watched and wondered who the hell the guy was and why was he on the sideline if nobody could identify him.

Here is the video:


Umm, yeah, I don't think Jessie will be allowed anywhere near a sideline for the next 9 months. Good God, we have to wait another 9 torturous painful months till college football kicks off it's 2008 season. Anyways, Texas won the game. I'm not sure what it means since it's another Bowl game with really no significant meaning other than a "hey let's get shitfaced in San Diego and destroy their women" type of night for both the Longhorns and SunDevils. Actually that sounds like a win-win situation to me but I'm a semi-functional alcoholic.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!
I hope all of you got something special for Christmas. If not then here is mine for all of you, Merry Christmas!


A lot more posts will be on the way as I preview the upcoming Bowl games.

ROGER CLEMENS: GREAT PITCHER, DECENT LIAR

This video was released today on Roger Clemen's foundation website and I must say the guy refuses to go down without a fight. Of course he won't sue anybody or actually display any evidence of him being a saint during his playing career but he will continue to deny, deny, and again deny he did anything wrong. He is as defiant as Barry Bonds and unfortunately he thinks we are morons who can be persuaded to believe his lies. His arrogance is laughable.

Clemen's refusal to acknowledge his guilt is eerily similar to Pete Rose. Both guys should be in the Hall of Fame but both essentially fucked it up by lying to the public and themselves. At least some guys are being some what honest about their wrong doing and taking responsibility for their actions. With Clemens we will never get it until about 15 years down the road when he realizes he can make some money from a book about the real story of his drug use.

I can already see the title: "ROCKET FUEL."

What a dick!

BUSH HOLIDAY GREETING

COLLEGE FOOTBALL IS BACK
I know the game between Navy and Utah tonight means little if you didn't bet on the game but I did. I got the line at -7.5 in favor of Utah. I think with Paul Johnson leaving Navy to take the Georgia Tech job it pretty much makes Utah an overwhelming favorite to blow out the Naval Academy. Listen, I root for Navy to win all the time except when they play Notre Dame and even I think they are going to get their asses handed to them.

So take Utah with the points tonight. They are going to crush Navy by at least two touchdowns and a field goal. If they don't I will have to find a Mormon and make them drink a 12 pack of Cokes for their transgressions.

I think I found my victim!

COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYERS MAKE OUT IN BOWL GAMES
The picture above was a give away for the Hurricanes back in the late 80's. No wonder there is so much lobbying going on for the big BCS games and bitching when they don't make it. Forget the money involved, what about the gifts the players get in their goody bag?

Look at what Navy and Utah players get for tonight's meaningless Poinsettia Bowl:

Gifts: Sony PSP Slim, case, Madden NFL 08, Fossil watch, Champion sweatshirt, cap

I'm sure they left off the free hookers and blow because of the sticky IRS issues.

Now look at what LSU and Ohio State players get for the BCS Championship Bowl:

Gifts: Nintendo Wii, Madden NFL 08 and two additional games, Majestic fleece pullover, New Era cap

Dude, you know parents are killing baby seals right now in order to get the Wii for their children and these fuckers get it for free.

I feel bad for the poor College Football players. It must suck to get free stuff and have hot chicks wanting to lick your balls at all times.

OMAR HUNTER LOOKING ELSEWHERE?
For those of you not familiar with Omar Hunter he is a 310 pound beast of a defensive tackle from Duluth, GA. Currently he is the 2nd rated defensive tackle in the country and is committed to Charlie Weis and Notre Dame. Yes, the same Notre Dame who is losing Trevor Laws to the NFL Draft and would seem to have an open spot for the heralded recruit to start right away. This is from today's AJC...

Hunter rethinking commitment to Irish

By BRIAN COSTA
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Published on: 12/19/07
Buford defensive tackle Omar Hunter is having second thoughts about his commitment to Notre Dame, his coach said Wednesday.

Coach Jess Simpson said Hunter has not withdrawn his commitment to the Irish - yet. But he is giving strong consideration to both Florida and Southern California - with Florida being the more likely alternative to Notre Dame, Simpson said.

"I think he wants to take the holidays and reconsider things," Simpson said, "and possibly take a visit to Florida and [USC]."

The Irish just completed their worst year in school history, finishing 3-9. That's not the kind of season Hunter is used to, having just led Buford (15-0) to the Class AA championship. But Simpson said Notre Dame's 2007 performance is not Hunter's main concern.

"I don't think it was so much the season they had," he said. "I think he's just starting to reconsider where he's going to school and how far away it is and the weather and the climate, and how easy it is for his family to come see him."

There has never been a shortage of interest in Hunter, who is rated the second-best high school defensive tackle in the country by Scout.com. The 6-foot-1, 311-pound senior committed to Notre Dame in June, but has apparently become less certain in recent months.

Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis tried to firm up Hunter's commitment last week with a personal visit to Buford. And later in the week, USC coach Pete Carroll also showed up, urging Hunter to take another trip out west.

Hunter, who could not be reached for comment, did not have any visits planned as of Wednesday. He visited Florida and USC before committing to the Irish, and has enough time to see both schools again if he wants before signing a letter of intent in February.

"It's a good problem to have," Simpson said.

So now it appears "King O" as his teammates and friends call him is looking elsewhere with a little over a month remaining till National Signing Day. In the past couple of months Hunter has made it clear that he is 100% committed to the Irish. Now it appears he is having second thoughts with two great coaches in Urban Meyer and Pete Carroll circling the Duluth recruit and smelling blood.

If Notre Dame loses out on Hunter it would be a big loss to the current #1 ranked recruiting class. Hunter is one of 5 defensive linemen expected to come in the current class and compete for immediate playing time. And yes, Hunter is by far the best of them and most dominating in my opinion. This should make for an interesting month to see where Hunter decides to play his college ball. My fingers are crossed he remains committed to Notre Dame and just takes a visit to Florida with his teammate T.J. Pridemore and views it as a free vacation and nothing more.

Yeah, I know, wishful thinking on my part.

RANDOM JOKE
Leaving the poker party, late as usual, two friends compared notes. "I can never fool my wife," the first complained. "I turn off the car’s engine and coast into the garage, take off my shoes, sneak upstairs, and undress in the bathroom. But she always wakes up and yells at me for being out so late and leaving her alone."

"You’ve got the wrong technique, my friend," his buddy replied. "I roar into the garage, slam the door, stomp up the steps, rub my hand on my wife’s ass, and ask, ’How ’bout a little?’ and she pretends to be asleep."

NEW SHIRT "DEADLY DUO 24-7"

Available now on our store page is the one of a kind "Deadly Duo 24-7" t-shirt. This shirt was designed for all the Georgia fans out there who wanted us to do a shirt in honor of #24 and #7. Well, here you go. The shirt is $17 and we are taking orders now with shipping starting this Friday. So get in your orders now, you can still get it before Christmas and the Sugar Bowl.

TO DOESN'T LIKE JESSICA SIMPSON
Oh man, this is going to get really interesting in Dallas. You knew it was just a matter of time before Terrell Owens completely destroyed the locker room chemistry. And now he is doing it for the Cowboys. This might get as exciting as watching Britney Spears and her family destroy people's views on Southerners. Owens had some choice words for Simpson and Carrie Underwood:

"Right now, Jessica Simpson is not a fan favorite in this locker room or in Texas Stadium," T.O. said. "I think with everything that has happened, and obviously the way Tony played and the comparison between her and Carrie Underwood, I think a lot of people feel like she's probably taking his focus away.

"Other than that, she was at the top of my list until last week."

Romo didn't make his usual Wednesday appearance in the locker room, so we didn't have a chance to get his reply to T.O.'s concern about Ms. Simpson. And T.O. isn't done dealing with her, either.

"I've got a message for her when we make the playoffs," T.O. said. "Just stay tuned."

I know what you are thinking. Big fucking deal if TO doesn't like her. Personally I don't give a shit but I can't wait to see how TO completely destroys the Cowboys SuperBowl chances by getting in pissing arguments with his quarterback.

Stay tuned.

O'S TRADE ROBERTS TO CUBS?
I just got a call telling me the Baltimore Orioles are about to trade All-Star secondbaseman/admitted steroid user Brian Roberts to the Chicago Cubs for three players.

The players from the Cubs are Sean Gallagher, OF Matt Murton, and 2b Eric Patterson.

This trade if it in fact goes down is great for both sides. The Cubs get a leadoff hitter and an All-Star secondbasemen who will be a fan favorite in Wrigley. The Orioles get younger and a replacement at secondbase in Patterson, the younger brother of Corey. Murton could start in left or be flipped in another package for more players. Gallagher is another young starter who could either fill the back end of the rotation for the O's or come out of the bullpen.

Too bad the Cubs wouldn't give up Felix Pie. More to come later.

ARTHUR BLANK STATEMENT CONCERNING THE BIG TUNA
How many times can a billionaire get kicked in the nuts before dead hookers start floating up? Poor guy, here is his statement concerning the Big Tuna...

"Late last night it was revealed to the media by a source outside the Falcons that we were close to reaching an agreement with Bill Parcells to lead the club's football operations.

Prior to the information becoming public, we had reached an agreement in principle with Parcells, and we met with him this morning to complete the contract. At that time, we were made aware by Parcells that he was considering a revised offer from the Miami Dolphins. He later informed us that he would not be signing a contract with us.

We remain committed to looking at every option for building a championship-caliber team for our fans. I have stated we will leave no stone unturned in doing so, and this effort is one example of that. We gave it our best shot, and it didn't work out.

We will continue down the same overall path, proceeding with plans to hire a general manager and a head coach. We will identify and consider every strongly viable candidate for these positions, with the goal of hiring the best. Rich McKay remains President of the club and will retain general manager responsibilities until a new GM is hired.

We will be making no further comment on the Parcells matter."

Football has become a cut throat, turn your back and never trust a man's word kind of business. Or in this case the Big FUPA. Makes for interesting blog entries I must say. I think the Falcon's should still try to get Mike Singletary as their head coach and draft Darren McFadden. I would love to see a backfield combo of Jerious Norwood and D-MAC. Draft a guy like Joey Flacco in the 2nd or third round so you are not giving up a lot of money for a QB who is likely to fail. Build the team around those pieces and I can guarantee you I would pay for tickets again next year. Nose bleed tickets.

HOT STOVE TALK
So how about that big Johan Santana trade? Oh yeah, it never happened. But don't get discouraged Red Sox and Yankees fans, I'm sure Bud Selig is working some back door plan in which you give up a couple of A level prospects for the game's best pitcher. It always seems to work out just fine for those teams and not the Twins. Actually from what I have heard from numerous sources is the Twins want two of these three in Jacoby Ellsbury, Jon Lester, and Clay Buchholz. The Red Sox and GM Theo Epstein are not budging and are willing to only give up one of those guys plus some other bits and pieces. The Red Sox are in an ideal position given they have a lot young premiere talent coming up through their system and already have a major league roster full of World Series winning depth. They don't have to make the trade for Santana but you know who would love to make the deal: the Yankees.

The Twins want at least two of the three of Ian Kennedy, Joba Chamberlain,
and Phil Hughes from the Yankees. The Yankees and Hank Steinbrenner have made it clear they are not trading Chamberlain. I know Joba was lights out last season but I think he is a flash in the pan. With Santana you know what you are getting and it just happens to be the best lefty in the game. I think if you are the Yankees you have to make this trade. There are no guarantees with prospects and as good as Chamberlain and Hughes could become in the future there is also a good chance they could flame out and have arm problems. Getting a guy like Santana makes them contenders with the Red Sox today. And if it takes a throw in like CF Melky Cabrera to get it done then I think they should do it.

The Orioles have already unloaded Miguel Tejada to the Astros for 5 players headlined by OF Luke Scott and SP Troy Patton. In my opinion it was an excellent trade for both teams. The Astros get an All-Star Shortstop who is just as good as Derek Jeter in my opinion if not better. Putting him in a lineup with Lance Berkman and Carlos Lee should be instant offense. Of course there are the steroid/B-12 issues but Tejada can still play the game when he is healthy.

The O's needed to unload Tejada in order to revamp a poorly run franchise which has been run into the ground by owner and douchebag extraordinaire Peter Angelos. Angelos has apparently waken up and realized the O's needed to be run by someone with some competence and without interference from himself. Enter Andy MacPhail. MacPhail started by taking the best player in the draft this past season in Georgia Tech catcher Matt Wieters. Wieters is a Scott Boras client and was deemed a hard signing for whomever drafted him. MacPhail knew he had to get him signed and more importantly knew the Baltimore faithful would lose all trust in him to get the ship turned around if he didn't. Fortunately for myself and many other Oriole fans they got a deal done at the last second. Let's just say if they didn't get him signed I would have been the first person to put flaming dog pooh in front of Angelos and MacPhail's house. I'm serious by the way. MacPhail next mission is to trade #1 ace Erik Bedard and All-Star secondbaseman Brian Roberts.

Bedard is a rare jewel in terms of trade bait. Unlike Santana, Bedard is locked up for another two years before he hits free agency. He is just now entering the prime of his career and is a top 5 starting pitcher in the game. Oh yeah, he is also a lefty who averages more than a strikeout per inning. You put Bedard on a playoff contending team and it will all of a sudden make them a serious World Series contender in my opinion.

Here are some of the rumors and/or near deals for Bedard so far:

LA Dodgers trade Matt Kemp, Jonathan Broxton, and another high end minor league player possibly two of them amongst Andy LaRoche, Clayton Kershaw, Andre Ethier, and Tony Abreau among others. Unfortunately for myself the Dodgers recently signed Japanese import Hiroki Kuroda to a silly contract in tune of 3 years at 35 million. I was hoping the O's would be able to poach Kemp and Kershaw from the Dodgers because I think both are going to be big stars and would fill seats for years to come in Camden Yards. So in other words I want to give a giant FU to Dodgers GM Ned Colletti for making it not happen. You could have made this Oriole fan sleep better at night. Instead now I must constantly drink and play with myself till I run out of the energy to think of ways to improve the O's, but that is neither here or there.

The Seattle Mariners have entered discussions supposedly offering some combination of Adam Jones, Jeff Clement, Wladimir Balentien, Brandon Morrow, and George Sherrill. Jones has future star written all over him and I believe Clement could be a really good catcher but is currently blocked by Kenji Johjima at the big league level. But of course the O's already have a good catcher in Ramon Hernandez who will be keeping the seat warm till Wieters is ready which could be as soon as September. Unless somehow the O's flipped Clement there really is no reason to make this trade with the Mariners. The O's need a shortstop to fill Tejada's spot and Luis Hernandez doesn't fit the suit in terms of hitting. Don't get me wrong though, if the Mariners offer up all those guys I would be willing to do the trade and through in a relief pitcher along with Bedard to make sure they are happy. But I don't see it happening especially if the M's sign Carlos Silva to the reported 4 year/44 million dollar deal in discussion. The Mariners are idiots if they give Silva that contract and decide to pass on a Bedard.

So that leaves the Cincinnati Reds who have made it known that OF Jay Bruce is off limits. Bruce is the #1 ranked minor leaguer and has star written all over him. I would love to see Bruce in the same outfield as current star Nick Markakis. In fact I would love it so much that I would be willing to trade Bedard straight up for Bruce. I know the O's would want more but there is no reason to get greedy. Bruce is the real deal. The Reds are trying to dump Homer Bailey, Joey Votto, and another lesser known minor leaguer for Bedard. I like Votto and think he could be a good everyday player at 1b but I'm starting to think Bailey is garbage. The Reds want to unload him and that tells me he isn't what everyone thinks he is which is a potential ace in the making. If the Reds want to offer up Bailey, Votto, and say Josh Hamilton I might do the deal. Hamilton is a wild card and we all know how prevalent heroin is around Baltimore. Yes it could be tempting. Just cough up Bruce and I'm good.

Other silent suitors for Bedard include the Braves(I don't want to hear it Braves fans, Glavine is shit!), Red Sox, Yankees, White Sox, and Angels. If the Red Sox want to offer up Ellsbury and Buchholz I would personally blow Epstein and make sure he was satisfied till no end. But that or a potential Yankees trade will never happen because they are in the AL East.

ATLANTA FALCONS LAND BILL PARCELLS

If this in fact happens it will be the best hire Falcons owner Arthur Blank has made since buying the team. Parcells is the perfect choice as VP of Football Operations. Parcells has a proven track record as a coach in turning a perennial loser into a winner. He has done it with the Giants, Jets, Patriots, and most recently the Cowboys. If anybody knows how to evaluate NFL talent and put it together into a winning combination it is none other than Bill Effing Parcells.

With Blank finally realizing GM Rich McKay simply wasn't getting the job done it will be interesting to see who Parcells hires as the new GM and coach. I'm a big fan of 49ers assistant head coach Mike Singletary. I think he would be an excellent choice as the face of the franchise right now. He has proven in Baltimore and San Francisco that he is an excellent teacher who values work ethic and most noticeably discipline. Discipline has gone bye-bye to the Falcons ever since they brought in questionable players like DeAngelo Hall. They need a coach that will hold them accountable and kick their ass at the same time. Singletary should be their man.

As for GM I have no clue. I wouldn't mind seeing Parcells take over in some form the GM duties. All I know is McKay is no longer in charge of the personnel and that alone is a significant improvement.

The Falcons franchise finally turned the page today with the hiring of Parcells. Now go out there and tank these last two games so you can get the #2 pick in the NFL Draft. It's what every logical clear thinking Falcon's fan wants right now.

UPDATE: Bill Parcells just turned down the job. The Falcons still suck balls. I blame all of this on Rich McKay. He sucks hairy donkey balls filled with Ed Hartwells and bad draft picks.

10 YEAR SINCE FARLEY DIED
Wow, it's been ten years to this day that Chris Farley died way too early. I actually remember exactly where I was when I first heard the news of his passing. I had just drove home for Christmas break from college up in Maryland when the first thing my Mom told me was she "was sorry to hear about Chris Farley." Of course my Mom knew how big of a fan I was since I would go to see all of his movies the first day they came out. I just remember being devastated that such a funny, lovable, sweaty, fat guy who I never knew passed away. Hearing now that it marks the ten year anniversary of his passing means I'm getting way too old and it is time to pour one out for one of the funniest guys to ever grace the stage.

Here is a good tribute video of Farley I found on Youtube...

Tonight will be a Milwaukee's Finest type of thing going on for me.

I LOVE THIS GUY

This is by far the funniest Carl sketch from Adult Swim. By the way I noticed how Roger Clemens again lied today saying he has never taken HGH or steroids or any performance enhancing drugs. Clemens is now the #1 jackass in all of sports. You just past Barry Bonds for doucheness Rocket!

ROCKET ROIDING BACK IN 1995

The guy was taking it in the ass(syringes) and still throwing computer nerds like myself 98 MPH. Hall of Fame in my book.

LAST MINUTE CHRISTMAS IDEAS
Getting down to crunch time and you still don't want to deal with the hassle of waiting in lines? Well visit our store page to get some unbelievable deals on some great t-shirts, DVDs, and vintage tin signs.

In fact, today only till midnight we are selling the Ann Arbor is a Whore shirt for only $10. We figured we would honor Rich Rodriguez to his new digs. So buy up now, for the next 7 hours you can get the one of a kind Ann Arbor is a Whore shirt for only $10.

CLICK HERE NOW, ALL ORDERS OVER $75 GETS FREE SHIPPING SO LOAD UP FOR ALL YOUR FRIENDS, FAMILY, COLLEGE BUDDIES.

DID YOU HEAR?
I'm sure none of you knew(wink wink) before yesterday that pop singer/boner delight Jessica Simpson is dating Dallas Cowboys QB Tony Romo until FOX showed her shaking her big thangs in a pink Romo jersey. If you are the 5 people who didn't know or catch a glimpse of Jessica, apparently the talented one of the dumb sisters, well then here you go...

The douchebag sitting next to her is her Dad in case you were wondering. He is the type of guy who would sell his daughter as a sex slave to Cowboys owner Jerry Jones if it got him suite tickets for the Eagles game. Oh wait, never mind. It's actually kind of sweet how Romo nailed her and had his worst performance as a pro because it helped put money in my pocket. And by money I don't mean the high hard one if that is what you were wondering.

I should just go now.

RICH RODRIGUEZ PRESS CONFERENCE
I'm watching the Rich Rodriguez press conference right now and I'm getting excited. This is a marriage of hell waiting to happen.

Rodriguez is country.

Ann Arbor is a whore.

Michigan is now the Britney Spears of college football.

The guy on the left is Bill Martin by the way.

RYAN MALLETT TO RUN SPREAD OFFENSE
Laughter ensues throughout the nation as it has now become a formality. Rich Rodriguez is the new head coach at the University of Michigan.

The Rich Rodriguez era at West Virginia ended early Sunday afternoon, not with a bang, but with a whimper.

In an early afternoon meeting with his football team, Rodriguez announced he was leaving to become the head coach at Michigan.

Rodriguez walked into a scheduled 1:30 p.m. meeting with his team and emerged 10 minutes later without comment and walked briskly back to his office. Shortly thereafter the players began to file out of the meeting room, somber-faced and generally without comment.

Rodriguez reportedly met with Michigan officials this past Friday in Toledo, Ohio.

And yet another coach turns his back on his alma mater to make more money. Such great leaders of young men these college coaches have become! It should be interesting to see the transition in offensive philosophy with Rodriguez's spread offense integrated with a traditional drop-back QB in Mallett. Uber recruit QB/Program changer Terrelle Pryor should be Rodriguez's first and number one priority once he starts recruiting for the Wolverines. Because we all know watching Mallett run a spread offense is going to be as silly as a Mexican in the NBA Slam Dunk Contest.

A great hire by Michigan, what are the chances Rodriguez makes a Tressel-like promise to beat their arch rival Ohio State and the Wolverine faithful pulls out their smelly disgusting wangs and start whacking away in a public library? Oh wait, that is THE Ohio State faithful.

Any excuse to watch this clip again is good enough for me. Poor Mike Cooper. Can't a man masterbate in public without being hassled? Guess not.

It has been announced that the Padres have filled their vacant center field spot by aquiring Jim Edmonds and cash from the Cardinals for Minor League third baseman and St. Louis native son David Freese. This is obviously a salary dump in the eyes of the Cardinals and as a loyal fan I can't help but celebrate the move. I am already a fan of Mozeliak as he made up for one of Jocketty's few bad decisions when he signed Edmonds for 2 years and 19 mil last year. He obviously sees that if you have an opportunity to go young and cheap at a postion that you will be able to spend that money elsewhere to help your team. Let's be honest, Edmonds did not earn one cent of his contract last year.

Even though I am not high on Edmonds now, I do respect the player that he was in St. Louis. He was often thought of as being lax at times and a non leader in the club house. I believe the game just came very easy to him and he did have that Southern Cali flare to him. He put all questions of his leadership to rest when he led the Cards to the World Series Championship a couple of years ago. It was his idea of handing out a game ball to the series saver Ronnie Belliard against the Padres. After that game the practice of handing out gameballs continued throughout the playoffs and brought the team closer together.

When I think of Jim Edmonds as a Cardinal I remember his majestic home runs. The most important one being his extra inning game winning home run in game 6 of the NLCS against the Astros to force game 7. I also remember his effortless catches. The most important one being the one that I saw in person in game 7 of the NLCS against the Astros when he saved the series by robbing Brad Ausmus.

But I also realize that his skills have greatly diminished the past few years. Too many times St. Louis fans would rather keep the good guy rather then do what is best for the team. Showing the unselfish man that he is, Edmonds chose to waive his no trade clause even though he wanted to retire a Redbird because he knew it was best for the team.

Take care Jimmy in beautiful San Diego and I hope that you were able to teach the next great center fielder in St. Louis about how to be a true Redbird.

ANYBODY WANT TO COACH MICHIGAN?
Well it finally appears Michigan might have found a suitor in West Virginia coach Rich Rodriguez according to the Sporting News.

There's a new twist in Michigan's ongoing search for a head coach: University officials are meeting with West Virginia coach Rich Rodriguez, according to Sporting News Radio correspondent Michael Bradley.

Rodriguez and his agent are in Toledo today to negotiate with Michigan athletic director Bill Martin and university president Mary Sue Coleman.

I know last year Rodriguez flirted with the Alabama job and thus got a substantial raise at West Virginia because of the Crimson Tide's infatuation. My hope is that Rodriguez is genuinely interested in the Michigan job and not just using them for another raise for himself and his assistants. Because you know that Michigan would never accept somebody like Les Miles who just used the Wolverines job as a springboard for a more lucrative deal with his present employer. I mean this is Michigan, the mecca of college football right? They have nobody coming back next year but West Virginia has Pat White, Steve Slaton, and Noel Devine back so it would make perfect sense for him to jump ship to Ann Arbor.

If you are a retard.

HONEY LISTEN!

ROGER: Honey, hey listen, I'm out here with the guys and this one guy George Mitchell is really pushing me hard to talk to me about steroids.

WIFE: Are you kidding?

ROGER:Just say no and I won't say a thing about sticking needles in me and Andy's ass.

WIFE:inaudible "Don't do it you fucking idiot! We will lose millions like the Vicks!"

ROGER:Just say no and I won't do it!

WIFE: inaudible "Listen up you stupid roided up fuck, if you talk I will cut off your balls and serve them to our dog Kujo if you say anything to Mitchell about steroids! Get our lawyer to talk to him!"

ROGER:Okay, great then, guys I'm back, I'm going to spill the beans! My Hall of Fame career is fucked, she's speechless!

NO MORE STUPID STEROID TALK
I want to laugh at something besides Peter Gammons tinted glasses and dried up drool he refuses to wipe from his funny looking head.

So here you go, thoughtless laughing courtesy of one of my favorite shows Family Guy...


And oh yeah, some eye candy from a football game can get our thoughts off that pesky drug investigation...(NSFW by the way if you work for a dickhead)...

I HAVE PROOF CLEMENS DIDN'T USE STEROIDS

See, the picture above clearly shows Clemens wasn't roiding when this picture was taken during the World Series. It was so simple to see even back then. This whole Mitchell investigation was clearly a waste of time. With that being said I am now mailing off my wish list to Santa Claus. I really want that Playstation 3 and I know Santa Claus is going to bring it to me.

LET ME ASK YOU THIS
Why would former New York Mets clubhouse attendant Kirk Radomski lie? I have no hard feelings for Radomski other than the fact that he supplied ILLEGAL steroids to tons of major league players. Radomski has no reason to lie and implicate players who did not actively cheat or seek his services. Don't be pissed at the guy who rats out people because everybody is responsible for their own actions. It makes me laugh when people are presented with evidence that their favorite player or team was involved and yet don't believe that these guys were doing it. Did you honestly think that Barry Bonds was the only douchebag doing it? Get your fucking heads out of the sand and come up for air people.

Listen, I'm an enormous Baltimore Orioles fan and even I knew that Brian Roberts more than likely used some sort of illegal substance. I'm a huge BROB fan because of all his charity work around Baltimore and admire his attitude in regards to baseball. I've even had the opportunity to meet him and he came off as a great guy. But with that being said it doesn't mean he hasn't cheated himself and the game of baseball by using a banned substance. We need to accept the fact that "good guys" use steroids or HGH.

I am one of the last people to judge these guys because even I get it when players use the stuff because they want an edge. There are millions of dollars and dreams at stake in the high rolling world of Major League Baseball. But it doesn't make it right to use juice even if everybody else is doing it.

After reading the report I know it's only a sliver of what actually goes on throughout the league. All of the players are pussies plain and simple. Some will call it honorable not to rat out their boys but I think what they have done to the game is the most unhonorable thing you can do to the actual game. Don't get mad at George Mitchell for not reporting the likes of Marcus Giles and Kyle Farnsworth whom I know have used steroids in the past because the players union is not talking.

THE PLAYERS UNION ARE THE DOUCHEBAGS. Be mad at them for not being honest. Be mad at them for throwing your hard earned money for $7 beers and $5 hot dogs because these assholes cheat in order to make millions off of you. These players cheated in order to make more money and have no regards to the game itself. Don't blame Mitchell for trying to find out the facts when everybody in the game of baseball wants to sweep it under the rug.

And also I wanted to give a giant FU to Peter Gammons. This guy is a Hall of Fame writer but he is also a Hall of Fame kiss ass to the players. The reporters and media are as much at fault with the steroids issue being ignored for all these years and now Gammons is saying these reports mean nothing. Your wrong Gammons, it means you didn't do your fucking job and questioned players when guys like Brady Anderson and Luis Gonzalez were all of sudden hitting 50 plus homeruns after gaining a miraculous 30 pounds of muscle during the offseason. I know Gammons is in fear of losing the player's collective trust and will no longer be drinking buddies with a lot of the players but you know what? That isn't your job. Your job is to report as objectively as possible and Gammons is among many others who isn't one.

In conclusion I'm going to be one of the few people who actually speaks up for the Mitchell report. It wasn't a waste of money. He came in trying to clean up the game and get some answers for things nobody wants to answer because everybody has their money in deep pockets full of lies and deception. Mitchell wants a clean game and so do I. He asked the tough questions that Bud Selig was too pussy enough to ask himself. Selig could have cleaned up the sport a long time ago by putting in a drug testing policy without getting the player's union approval. Seriously, fuck the player's union if they are not going to agree or vote to a drug policy. It shouldn't be their choice. It's not their game, it's the public's game and the owner's game. The players are just employees who build the product like any of us who work for somebody else. Hopefully Selig sees this now and makes the drug testing policy even more difficult. Dont' give me the bullshit excuse of collective bargaining with Donald Fehr as a reason why you can't do anything Selig. You are the fucking commissioner. Stop being a pussy and do your fucking job. For once and for all let's clean up the game without asking what the players think.