8 YEAR OLDS DUDE

One of the classic scenes in "The Big Lebowski"...


The Big Lebowski is one of my favorite movies of all-time. The first time I saw it I was a freshman in college up at Towson University and I instantly had sore ribs from laughing so hard. In fact one of my fondest memories of my backpacking trip across Europe with my buddy Andrew a few years back was getting the chance to watch it in Switzerland in a little village perched atop the Alps called Gryon. If you have never seen the film you really owe it to yourself to grow some balls and go rent the fucker.

THE NEW CITIBANK

Now that the government owns and runs parts of Citibank it looks like things will change for the bank...


Just one more thing the government can fuck up. God bless this dysfunctional country.

GRANT HILL STILL PLAYS?

I honestly had no idea that Grant Hill still played in the NBA. It goes to show you I don't follow the NBA as well as I used to. I remember back in the day when Hill had some serious hops and could dunk. Now he is just getting rejected from behind by Dwayne Wade. The old Hill would have slammed it down with authority.

Will baseball just please start already? The NBA can be exciting at times but since Jordan and Dominique retired I find myself not nearly as interested in the game. I guess you could call me a fair weather fan when it comes to hoops. But baseball and college football is where it's at for me. Just get me to those seasons and the constant talking to myself and yelling at random strangers will cease to exist.

I REALLY HATE LIVING IN GEORGIA SOMETIMES

I consider myself a mutt when it comes to conservatives and liberals. I have a little bit of both in me and can see the sides of both arguments for the most part when it comes to politics. Georgia as a whole is about as Christian conservative as they come. I tend to not get along with these people for the most part. They always want to inject religion into every conversation and down here it's part of the law. Sodomy is a jail able offense in Georgia because it is not a means to procreate. So is pulling out but whatever.

What really ticks me off about Georgia is the ban of alcohol sales on Sundays. Yes, on Sunday, the holy day as they call it down here you can not buy beer or alcohol in stores. You can still go to a restaurant or bar and be served but you can't buy a six pack at your local Publix grocery store. It's a dumb law that really makes no sense. After all Jesus was the biggest pot head, whiskey drinking person who ever lived. The guy had long hair and claimed he was God's son. Sounds like a drunk hippy to me.

Anyways, most of Georgians want to have the ability to buy alcohol on Sundays. Recent polls conducted by the Atlanta Journal have indicated more than 70% of residents think alcohol sales on Sunday should be allowed. But the Georgia lawmakers disagree with them...

The sponsor of legislation allowing voters the chance to vote on Sunday alcohol sales at stores withdrew his bill when he realized he could not get it passed out of the Senate Regulated Industries Committee Wednesday.

The committee was supposed to vote on the bill Wednesday, but supporters knew by the time the meeting began that they wouldn’t have enough votes to pass it.

It marked the third consecutive year the bill to allow Sunday sales has stalled in the Senate.

Sen. Seth Harp (R-Midland), said he would bring the bill back up in the future and supporters hinted they would make it a campaign issue next year.

So instead of collecting taxes on alcohol sales on Sundays they instead agree to not listen to the public again. The same people who vote them in. It makes absolutely no sense to ban alcohol sales on Sundays. Whatever happened to separation of church and state? The main culprit down here is Republican Governor Sonny Perdue. He is a dumb hick who has never drink had a drink in his life. Perdue believes since he doesn't do it then nobody should do it on the Sabbath. Thankfully he can't go for re-election in 2010 because he is term limited. Hopefully common sense down here in the Peach State will prevail as soon as Perdue leaves.

Ok, I will now get off of my soapbox. Sorry about that. Anybody want a beer? All this talking about alcohol is making me thirsty.

HALFTIME PRANK

Watch Prank War 7: The Half Million Dollar Shot and more funny videos on CollegeHumor

Well done sir. Well done.

Reminds me of the time my friends pulled a prank with me when I went in for a routine checkup. It wasn't warts. Only herpes.

Video Ht: WithLeather via CollegeHumor

ADIOS MARYLAND

Well, any chance of the Terps sliding into the tournament this year with their regular season record faded with this facial dunk by Wake Forest's Jeff Teague on Maryland's Senior Night...

The only way Maryland can make it to the tourney now is if they go on a magical run and win the ACC Tournament. They simply don't have the players to do it. Their point guard Vasquez is too erratic and hyperactive in my opinion. They have too many highs and way too many lows dictated on his play alone.

Video HT: FanIQ

THE MLB NETWORK IS AWESOME AND HAS F BOMBS

The MLB Network's Matt Vasgersian is pretty good at his job. So good that he likes to blurt out the F word when it comes to messing up the comparison to Fernando Valenzuela by using the name of Fernando Vina. Personally I don't care if Vasgersian uses the word and I don't think he should get reprimanded because he is on cable. When asked about the F bomb being blurted on live air Bud Selig claimed "We had no idea he said it and could find no evidence of wrong doing, this case is closed!"

By the way the MLB Network is great. They talk about all the teams and show highlights from all the games unlike those 4 letter dickheads in Bristol. If you like baseball you will love the MLB Network.

Video HT: TheBigLead

GREG PAULUS DREAM

March Madness is just around the corner bitches. Notre Dame and Maryland have been blowing ass all season so there is little chance I will be rooting for any other team besides the ones I bet on come tourney time. There is one thing for sure though. I will be rooting for Duke's opponent. Only because I hate them and their flopping homo players like Greg Paulus.

You remember Paulus as the former McDonald's All-American who passed up football to lick Coach K's mangina in Cameron Indoors. Actually you might not remember him because he never plays besides garbage time these days. Here is a good spoof of Greg Loose Anus Paulus by some Tarholes fans...


Video HT: Barstool Sports

A SHORT LOVE STORY

I know. First the gay soccer highlight and now a love story? "He must have gone two weeks in search of the perfect buttdart" is probably what you are thinking. But this is a good love story to tell your significant other tonight. Or to tell your buddies. Or your parole officer. Or mistress. I'm not judging you bastards, why judge me....

A Short Love Story

A man and a woman who had never met before,
but who were both married to other people,
found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,.......... 'Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.'

'I have a better idea,' she replied 'Just for tonight,...... let's pretend that we're married.'

'Wow!...................... That's a great idea!', he exclaimed.

'Good,' she replied. ............'Get your own damn blanket..'


After a moment of silence, .....................he farted.

The End

Joke HT: Joe

FANCY SOCCER GOAL FROM A GUY NAMED MASCARA

It's not too often you will see a soccer post on here. The guy with the kick has a last name of Mascara so it fits the feminine side of soccer well. Almost half field when he launches the kick, the balls goes over 45 yards at an improbable angle to barely nestle in the back of the goal past the goalie's outstretched fingers. Hell of a kick I must say. Hell of a kick.

Video HT: FanIQ

QUICK THOUGHTS ON NFL FREE AGENCY

DeAngelo will continue to kiss TO's shoes in Washington.

The batshit crazy NFL free agency season launched last week and so far we have seen a ton of movement. Here are some quick thoughts on the moves so far with little research on my part. Would you expect more? I didn't think so.

ARIZONA CARDINALS-Signed Keith Lewis, S. Re-signed Ben Graham, P, and Brian St. Pierre, QB. All 3 of these signings don't mean shit. None of them are difference makers unless some how the Cardinals totally fuck up resigning Kurt Warner. Warner is looking at the 49ers and I guess the Cardinals look at St. Pierre as a possible back up to Leinart if he is starting next year. Leinart=no playoffs
ATLANTA FALCONS-Re-signed Michael Koenen p/k (f). The Falcons have lost starters Brooking, Milloy, and Foxworth so far on defense. Losing Brooking is no big deal. The guy has lost two steps and is just a pile jumper at this point of his career. Good guy, bad player. Milloy and Foxworth are both big losses in the secondary in my opinion. It looks like GM Thomas Dimitroff will address these losses through the draft or they could go after Atlanta native Jermaine Phillips from the Tampa Bay Bucs.
BALTIMORE RAVENS-Signed Domonique Foxworth, CB. Decent signing here by the Ravens. They bring a local boy back home to replace Chris McAlister. It looks like they will resign Ray Lewis now. Good for them.
BUFFALO BILLS-Signed Ryan Fitzpatrick, QB; and Geoff Hangartner, OL. I seriously have no fucking clue who these two guys are and have no reason to research it.
CAROLINA PANTHERS-Re-signed Jordan Gross, OT. Gross is one of the best offensive tackles in the game and deserved the money. His 6 year deal should keep him in Carolina black and blue for the rest of his career.
CHICAGO BEARS-Signed Frank Omiyale, OL. The Bears are hoping to catch magic with this signing of Jordan Gross's backup in Carolina. The Bears are idiots by the way. Are they ever going to address their total lack of talent at QB?
CINCINNATI BENGALS-Re-signed Darryl Blackstock, LB; Chris Crocker, S, and DeDe Dorsey, WR. The reason they are called the Bungles is because of signings like this and let T.J. who's your mama leave.
DALLAS COWBOYS-Signed Keith Brooking, LB. Have fun playing in the circus Brooking. Like I mentioned earlier, Brooking is a great guy but a bad linebacker at this point in his career.
DENVER BRONCOS-Signed Correll Buckhalter, RB; Andra Davis, LB; Brian Dawkins, S; Jabar Gaffney, WR; Andre' Goodman, CB; Renaldo Hill, S; Lonie Paxton, FS; and Darrell Reid, DT. Agreed to terms with J.J. Arrington, RB. The Broncos are clearly the most active so far in free agency. Dawkins is a great signing and should bring leadership to a bad Broncos defense. Arrington and Buckhalter should compete for carries. The question is will they trade Jay Cutler? Cutler seems to be a whiny bitch with some hurt feelings at this point complaining about stuff he has no business addressing. They should just trade him to Cleveland for Brady Quinn.
DETROIT LIONS-Signed Bryant Johnson, WR; Eric King, CB; and Maurice Morris, RB. Re-signed Jason Hanson, K; and Stephen Peterman, G. The only perfect team in the NFL last year continues to make head scratching moves. Make that ball scratching.
HOUSTON TEXANS-Signed Antonio Smith, DE; and Dan Orlovsky, QB. Re-signed Chris White, C; and Eugene Wilson, S. They way overpaid for Smith who rode a good playoff performance into an enormous contract.
INDIANAPOLIS COLTS-Re-signed Kelvin Hayden, CB; and Jeff Saturday, C. Saturday is a great player but losing Marvin Harrison will hurt. I don't care what people say, Harrison can still play.
JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS-Signed Sean Considine, S. Re-signed Brad Meester, C; and Scott Starks, CB.-For some reason I have always hated the Jaguars. Not sure why other than I hate their uniforms and their games always seem to be boring.
MIAMI DOLPHINS-Signed Joe Berger, G; Re-signed Vernon Carey, OT; Yeremiah Bell, S; and Channing Crowder, LB. Good to see Carey get the money he deserved. Their two offensive tackles are now making more money than GM loses in a day.
MINNESOTA VIKINGS-Re-signed Jim Kleinsasser, TE. Sounds like a German dish.
NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS-Signed and Chris Baker, TE; and Fred Taylor, RB. Re-signed Matt Cassel, QB (f), and traded him to Kansas City; re-signed Russ Hochstein, OL. Not sure what to make of the Cassel trade. Personally I think Cassel is overrated but it sounded like the Patriots could have gotten more than a 2nd rounder for him. The Pat's know what they are doing so I will differ my judgement till after the draft. Taylor should be a good 3rd down back.
NEW ORLEANS SAINTS-Re-signed Jon Stinchcomb, T; and Jonathan Vilma, LB. Both needed to be resigned at premium positions. I wonder what Brees mole got?
NEW YORK GIANTS-Signed Rocky Bernard, DT; Michael Boley, LB; and Chris Canty, DE. Re-signed Brandon Jacobs, RB (f); and David Carr, QB. The Giants are addressing their needs on defense with Bernard, Boley, and Canty. But they need to find a replacement for Plax and I guess the draft will remedy it.
NEW YORK JETS-Signed Bart Scott, LB. Re-signed Brandon Moore, G. Agreed to terms with Tony Richardson, FB. Bart Scott decided to follow Rex Ryan to NY and I can't blame him especially with the money he got. Should be interesting to see how good he is when not playing next to Terrell Suggs and Ray Lewis.
OAKLAND RAIDERS-Re-signed Nnamdi Asomugha, DB; and Shane Lechler, P. 3 years at $45.3 million for Asomugha? Just die already Al Davis.
PHILADELPHIA EAGLES-Signed Stacy Andrews, OT. Re-signed Joselio Hanson, CB. The Eagles have two first round draft picks and have seen Dawkins and Sheppard leave their secondary. Chances have gone up they will go secondary with at least one of the picks.
PITTSBURGH STEELERS-Re-signed Max Starks, T (f); and Chris Kemoeatu, G. Two guys resigned to help Big Ben stay upright. Makes sense.
ST. LOUIS RAMS-Signed Jason Brown, OL. Really good signing here by the Rams. Brown is a center who will help open up holes for Jackson.
SAN DIEGO CHARGERS-Re-signed Kynan Forney, G. So when are they going to trade Tomlinson and the playoff bench he sits on?
SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS-Signed Brandon Jones, WR. Re-signed Takeo Spikes, LB; Moran Norris, FB; and Allen Rossum, CB-KR. If the 49ers sign Kurt Warner then the offseason is a success.
SEATTLE SEAHAWKS-Agreed to terms with Colin Cole, DT, and T.J. Housyourmama, WR. Seahawks now have a deep play threat in T.J. who baldy should love throwing to in Seattle.
TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS-Re-signed Luke McCown, QB; and WR Michael Clayton. Screw the Succaneers.
TENNESSEE TITANS-Signed Nate Washington, WR; and Jovan Haye, DT.
Re-signed Rob Bironas, K; Justin McCareins, WR; Kerry Collins, QB; and Vincent Fuller, DB. Collins coming back means he will be the starter with Vince Young riding the pine.
WASHINGTON REDSKINS-Signed Derrick Dockery, G; and Albert Haynesworth, DT. Re-signed Ethan Albright, LS; and DeAngelo Hall, CB. The Deadskins continue to make all the offseason headlines but they overpaid for Haynesworth and most certainly are morons for giving DeAngelo anything over $2 million. DeAngelo can't cover shit. Good in zone. Terrible on man-on-man. And yet the Deadskins pay him top dollar to be a lockdown corner. Idiots. Haynesworth will get fat and stupid.

SORRY FOR THE LACK OF POSTS

I've been out of town now for over a week working with little access to no access to the computer. I've been keeping up with the sports world, such as Manny being a complete retard and turning down a ridiculous offer from the Dodgers. I promise to have more posts starting next Tuesday when I get back in town. I have a lot of players and organizations to slam starting with the Washington Redskins. It won't be pretty. DeAngelo Fucking Hall for $54 million. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

ALEXANDER OVECHKIN INCREDIBLE GOAL

Is there anything he can't do? This guy would make a great drug mule.

YOU BUYING THIS A-ROD BULLSHIT?

Call me cynical, ignorant, or just plain stupid but I'm not buying anything Alex Rodriguez is saying. I don't think he is sorry for what he did. He is just sorry that he got caught. His pause at the 5:30 mark in the video stinks of bad acting. He doesn't give a shit about his teammates. He never has. When was the last time you heard a teammate vouch for him?

The only thing A-Roids cares about is himself. Sure he acts like he cares about others but he really doesn't. This is why the guy slaps gloves in the playoffs and plays innocent. He is a cheater on and off the field. Listen, I could give two shits about his personal life and what he decides to do with it. Your infidelity to your wife should be private and doesn't concern your teammates or the public. But if you really care so much about the game and your teammates you wouldn't put them in this situation in the first place by cheating with steroids.

I'm also not buying his claim he stopped using performance enhancing drugs once he reached New York. Who you trying to fool? Yourself or the public? He admits he couldn't handle the pressure in Texas with the huge contract. He confides he felt a need for a boost to prove to others he deserved the contract. So he started using illegal shit. But now that he is playing on the biggest stage with the most attention for the New York Yankees he suddenly stops? Sounds perfectly logical to me.

The one good thing about Rodriguez is that he has admitted to his mistake. Unlike Mark McGwire, Roger Clemens, Barry Bonds, Sammy Sosa, Rafael Palmeiro and numerous others who continue to hold on to their obvious lies of never using stuff while playing. Rodriguez, despite all of his faults is one hell of a baseball player just like those other cheaters. But their numbers they put up don't mean jack. Hank Aaron is still the true homerun king and should be acknowledged for it. Bonds 7 MVP's and Clemens 7 Cy Young's have as much value as their rookie cards. It's a shame that these players among many others cheated the game that paid them so well. They cheated us, the fans. We bought the tickets and merchandise and all the other stuff that came with the fake numbers and entertainment. We believed they were playing the game the right way.

They all fooled us except maybe Bonds at first. He blew up during his mid to late 30's. They managed to make people including myself sick of the game I grew up loving. I still love the game but I don't have any sympathy for those who cheated the game and themselves. And for this the only plaque they deserve should be in the Hall of Shame.

KENNY POWERS IS MY NEW HERO

The new HBO series "Eastbound & Down" stars Danny McBride as pitcher Kenny Powers, a down and out one time superstar baseball pitcher. To say this show is funny would be an understatement. You really owe it to yourself to check it out. Here is the opening scene from Sunday's premiere...



Seeing Atlanta vs. Baltimore in the World Series is a joke in itself right now. The lines Powers spouts out throughout the show are of the good old boy nature that is pretty common down here in the South. He is essentially a funnier right handed version of John Rocker. Catch it on HBO, Sunday nights at 10:30 pm.

Video HT: MacGsWorld

ALEC BALDWIN PLAYING THE Wii

PITT TAKES DOWN UCONN

Dejuan Blair and the Pitt Panthers literally took down Hasheem Thabeet and the #1 ranked UCONN Huskies last night 76-68. Blair was nasty all night finishing with 22 points and 23 boards with a first half domination of Thabeet. The Big East is loaded with top ranked teams again this year and with Pitt's first ever win over a #1 team it could have two teams get 1 seeds in the tourney. I still think North Carolina is the best team in the country when they decide to play but Pitt is going to be tough if they can get past the sweet 16.

So if you had a vote for the best team in the country right now who would you pick? Pitt? UCONN? Oklahoma? North Carolina? March Madness is just around the corner people. Thank God!

Video HT: FanIQ

TOO MANY DICKS ON THE DANCE FLOOR

I always hated going to dance clubs during my single days. It was more or less getting dragged to some bullshit club called Vision or some other stupid dance club down in Midtown Atlanta. You always had to pay to get in the door unless you knew somebody which is bullshit and the booze was too expensive for this cheap bastard. Plus the clubs in Atlanta always had a Tokyo Drift kind of feel to them. Too much gel and Asian persuasion for my liking. Give me cold beer, Jager bombs, and a bar where I can actually go talk to girls without having to use a megaphone. Plus I'm white so I have absolutely zero dance skills. In other words I looked as retarded as Dane Cook performing "comedy."

Flight of the Conchords has a new hit song out called "Too Many Dicks on the Dance Floor" and I think this is the perfect tune for all those dance clubs that don't allow jeans, hats, or flip flops because this is usually what you find in those clubs...

THIS PICTURE REMINDS ME OF A CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM EPISODE

I think Kobe Bryant is trying to make a point about his wife Vanessa. She doesn't seem to be taking it so well. Literally and figuratively of course...



Image HT: YBF

NATE ROBINSON DUNKS OVER DWIGHT HOWARD

VINTAGE LETTERMAN LAST NIGHT WITH JOAQUIN PHOENIX

A)Phoenix is on drugs
B)Phoenix is acting
C)Phoenix has lost it
D)Phoenix and Letterman planned the interview/sketch

You decide. I think it's a combo of all four.

LETTERMAN'S TOP 10 PHONE MESSAGES LEFT FOR A-ROIDS

I thought the digs at Michael Phelps were pretty funny. The Jeter one not so much. We all know Jeter hit that old bag up his rookie season.



GET THE A-ROIDS SHIRT HERE.

BRETT FAVRE ANNOUNCES RETIREMENT, WANTS A-ROIDS HEADLINES

I could give two shits about Brett Favre and his retirement. This is what, his 4th time he has hinted or done it? It's clear to me that Favre was extremely jealous of the headlines Alex Rodriguez was receiving for his admission to steroid use this week. He wants to be on the front of the all the New York rags and ESPN the Ocho for the next 48 hours nonstop.

In other inevitable news two months from now Favre will announce his passion is back for football and he has agreed to play for the Chicago Bears where he will again lead the league in interceptions and ass kissing from Peter King.

If you don't recall last year we were bombarded with so much Favre BS on ESPN it even got to Hitler's last nerve...

ROBERTO ALOMAR HAS FULL BLOWN AIDS?

Future Hall of Famer Roberto Alomar is facing a lawsuit from an ex-girlfriend claiming he has AIDS and had unprotected sex with her while knowing according to the New York Daily News...

Baseball great Roberto Alomar has full-blown AIDS but insisted on having unprotected sex, his ex-girlfriend charged Tuesday in a bombshell lawsuit.
The shocking claim was leveled by Ilya Dall, 31, who said she lived with the ex-Met for three years and watched in horror as his health worsened.
In papers filed in state and federal court, Dall said Alomar finally got tested in January 2006 while suffering from a cough, fatigue and shingles.
"The test results of him being HIV-positive was given to him and the plaintiff on or about Feb.6, 2006," the $15 million negligence suit says.
Nine days later, the couple went to see a disease specialist who discovered a mass in the retired second baseman's chest, the court papers say.
Alomar's skin had turned purple, he was foaming at the mouth and a spinal tap "showed he had full-blown AIDS," the suit says.

The article goes on to claim that Robbie Alomar confided to his ex he was raped when he was 17 by two Mexican men in or near New Mexico. I really don't have anything else to say other than I hope all of this is not true. We will see. AIDS isn't funny at all. Unless your name is Magic Johnson.



UPDATE: The Smoking Gun has the full complaint filed in court.

TRACY MCGRADY BLOWS

Dude, I've seen blind 4 year olds make layups better than McGrady. I've never been a big fan of McGrady and this missed layup and foul will be my lasting memory of him because I don't ever watch the Houston Rockets. That and his tears after losing in the playoffs.

Video HT: FanIQ

2009 SI SWIMSUIT COVERGIRL IS BAR REFAELI

Leonardo Dicaprio's girlfriend is the 2009 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Cover Model. Bar Refaeli is from Israel and has a name that people call their dogs but is as far away from dog looking as possible. She isn't Elle MacPherson in my opinion but you can't blame Leonardo for snagging up this stick figure. Being a covergirl for the SI Swimsuit Issue doesn't carry as much weight as it did back in the 80's and early 90's but I guess there is still some prestige. It probably gets you better blow but who really knows. When I was a kid I enjoyed my mom's Victoria Secret's catalog a lot more. She could never figure out how her catalogs would just disappear and never come back. Sinner.

SCOTT VAN PELT GOT SUSPENDED FOR VOICING HIS OPINION ON BUD SELIG

ESPN's Scott Van Pelt was suspended for his radio show today because of what he said about Bud Selig and his $18.5 million dollar salary according to Deadspin.

I congratulate Van Pelt for voicing his opinion on Selig. I know Van Pelt (Maryland grad) works for a major corporation at ESPN and a lot of people think you shouldn't shit on somebody with as much power as Selig because his product brings in big bucks to the WWL but then what is the point of sports talk? He is hired to voice his opinion and I completely agree with him here. Selig has a house full of couches covered in plastic and it stinks. Selig is a PIMP who used to own the Milwaukee Brewers and somehow became the commissioner of a great game. He buried his head in the sand so to speak the whole time players used steroids and didn't budge against the player's union until the fucking government stepped in and Jose Canseco opened up his fat mouth. He still is too much of a pussy Nerd to step up and make the game better by balancing the competition on the field by instituting a salary cap.

And yet the guy gets paid $18.5 million to do what? Next thing you know he will be stepping down and recommending Peter Angelos for commissioner. I'm not even joking.

ALEX RODRIGUEZ ADMITS TO USING STEROIDS

A-Roid sits down with Peter Gammons and admits he used steroids from the years 2001-2003 in Texas on tonight's 6 PM SportsCenter...

"When I arrived in Texas in 2001, I felt an enormous amount of pressure. I needed to perform, and perform at a high level every day," Rodriguez told ESPN's Peter Gammons in an interview in Miami Beach, Fla. "Back then, [baseball] was a different culture. It was very loose. I was young, I was stupid, I was naïve. I wanted to prove to everyone I was worth being one of the greatest players of all time.

"I did take a banned substance. For that, I'm very sorry and deeply regretful."

"It's been a rough 15 months here for me," Rodriguez said. "I was stupid for three years. I was very, very stupid. The more honest we can all be, the quicker we can get baseball [back] to where it needs to be."

Well at least he is being honest about something. I think it is cop out though to blame the MLB culture for his own self doing steroids. Weak argument but A-Rod has always come off a weak person so I guess I can accept it. I'm hoping the names of the 103 other players who got caught comes out eventually. The public deserves to know especially when a lot of hard earned tax dollars went to uncover this whole story.

That is of course as long as no more Orioles or Braves names are on that list. Or Ken Griffey Jr. Everyone else I could give two shits about.

Get your A-Roid shirt here...

MICHAEL PHELPS SMOKES POT? REALLY?

I did find it pretty humorous how Kellogg's dropped Michael Phelps endorsement because he smokes pot. I hate to break it to Kellogg's but they do realize that our last 5 Presidents at the very least have toked some weed. It's not like this is a startling revelation that an athlete smokes weed. The NBA would cease to exist without weed. When I found out about the photo of Phelps reefing I simply shrugged my shoulders and said "Good for him!" The mofo won 12 gold medals for our country, he can smoke some pot now if he damn well pleases.

Video HT: WithLeather

NATALIE PORTMAN IS A ROLE MODEL AND GREAT RAPPER

This is the unedited SNL version of film star Natalie Portman getting her rap on while drinking and driving and smoking pole at Harvard. A lot of people think Jay Z is the #1 rapper but he ain't got nothing on Ms. Portman. Her tongue is off the hook bitches.

Video HT: WWTDD

WHAT A SWEET TEAMMATE

New Irish teammate Setanta O'hAilpin made quite an impression on his teammates balls with this kick to Cameron Cloke after he punched him during an intra-club match. It appears the Aussies and Irish don't get along very well on the same team. You know what could cure their ill tempers for each other? A bloomin onion and a Guinness. Bloody right!

$2650 FOR A BEER?

I've paid as much as $12 for a beer on the streets of Paris when I was backpacking and dished out $10 at Petco Park this past summer for a cold one and thought I was getting completely ripped off. But that is just a drop in the pint compared to what the first poured beer is going to cost at Leon’s Full Service in Decatur, GA. No worries though, apparently it's going to a good cause...

The first glass of beer poured Monday at Leon’s Full Service — the new gastropub in Decatur, will cost $2,650.

The pub owners auctioned off the first pint on eBay, and that was the highest of 56 bids, according to the Web site NextStopDecatur.com. All proceeds will benefit the fund set up for employees of the Trackside Tavern and 5th Earl Market, the two Decatur businesses that were destroyed by a fire about two weeks ago.

I feel bad for the employees and all losing their jobs because of a fire but if I am the winning bidder I want more than a fucking glass of beer for $2650. Maybe they should throw in a few lines of blow off a pub toilet seat with Jamal Anderson for shits and giggles. I laughed out loud when I read the story on Jamal Anderson. Not because I have been to Peachtree Tavern and know that that kind of shit happens everywhere in Buckhead but the fact that getting caught with cocaine is the least offensive thing Anderson has been caught doing. Let's just say the word on the street is Jam likes to the Dirty Bird at clubs like Swinging Richards. So he didn't get caught doing lines off the 20 year old guy's dugan he was with in the stall so that helps his PR case. And Kordell Stewart was taking hikes from his behind either at the time. So it's not all that bad. Also for $2650 they better be throwing in some grade A Andruw Jones hookers. I feel bad for those hookers now that Andruw has accepted a contract with the Texas Rangers. The economy is shit and now their #1 client is in Texas. This world just isn't fair. Not for $2650 for a stinkin beer.

A "TACK"Y CAL RIPKEN JR. ART PIECE

It took Baltimore Orioles fan/artist Dustin Barkley over 30 hours and 10,000 thumbtacks to make this Cal Ripken Jr. art piece. Well done sir. You pretty much nailed it. Tacked it. Sorry.

Video HT: Deadspin via Homerun Derby

A-ROIDS SHIRT

We finally got a brand new shirt to prepare for the upcoming baseball season. With Spring Training less than a week away and the shocking (not really) revelations that Alex Rodriguez failed a drug test back in 2003 for steroids we figured it was a good time to make a shirt in honor of #13 for the pinstripes. The shirts are only $17 and can be purchased at this link.

Shipping will start in about a week. Be sure to spread the word. I would love to see a stadium full of fans wearing this A-Roids shirt. It's only a matter of time before Madonna, or Gollum as I prefer to affectionately call her, is spotted in one of this killer A-Roids shirts.

PREAKNESS FANS BANNED FROM BRINGING IN ALCOHOL!

What in the holy hell is this all about?....

Say goodbye to the fraternity party atmosphere at the Preakness. Organizers are banning you from bringing your own alcohol or water onto Pimlico's infield.

Pimlico's top brass say they are trying to give the Preakness a new dimension this year. Maryland Jockey Club President Tom Chuckas says they are hoping the changes will give the Preakness Celebrations a different feel and introduce a new audience to horse racing.

But Preakness fan Matt Plummer says it could chase recurring fans away. "They expect to drink, bring their own beer and party all day."

Chuckas says beer will still be available in 16-ounce cups. But you'll have to buy it for $3.50 a cup. Water and other beverages will also be sold.

Preakness fan Mike Bauwens says, "That's going to change everything. It's expensive already."

In addition to the alcohol changes, Pimlico will add an infield concert and professional volleyball tournament to the infield party. This year's performers will include ZZ Top & Buckcherry.

The price of tickets won't change. It will still cost you $50 in advance or $60 at the door. This year's Preakness is scheduled for May 16th.

As a 4-time drunk attendee of the Preakness Stakes I have to admit this is a sad, pathetic day. The whole point of going to Preakness is bringing in your own beer and not worrying about dishing out a shitload of cash for booze. Hell, we would bring in bottles of cheap Tequila in Sprite 2 liters and make Tequila sunrises at 7 am inside the infield. Why did we do it? Because it was all we could afford as college students. Getting the tickets was a lot of money for us. This is a fucking disgrace that is all holy about Preakness. I also can't believe the tickets are that expensive. When I went a decade ago the tickets were $35 advance, $40 at the door. And the economy was fucking great back then. Now you are going to tell all these college kids they can't bring their own booze, will get charged $3.50 a beer, and the tickets are a rip off? They just royally fucked themselves on this and I can guarantee that the crowd will be cut at least into half. What a joke!

So they want a higher clientele in there is what I'm taking from all this. Fuck them and their horserace is what I say. Those uppity douchebags drinking their Mimosas and Mint Julips! This calls for a riot. No more running of the urinal races anymore...


I'm so pissed right now. I'm going to go buy a couple of 30 packs of Natty Light and drink like I did then and pass out in my front yard with piss all over myself. Why? Because it's in honor of my college years at Towson and Preakness. You didn't just drink and see random fights and fake breasts on that infield in Pimlico. You grew up if you made it out alive. You entered a boy and left a man. A really, really drunk man. What is the world coming to?




I'm going to miss the random, just flat out crazy shit that happens at Preakness...

HOW DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE'S BUTT SMELLS?

I will be the first to admit that I can release some powerful odors at ease and I bless my wife for putting up with it but I have never, ever had this happen to me...

MOM BUSTS SUPER BOWL PANTS PARTY

This is what happens when you celebrate a Steelers victory by giving your teenage girlfriend a Steely McBeam before her mom gets home from a Super Bowl party...

A woman reported Sunday night she found her daughter, 17, and a Russell man, 18, naked together in bed.

The woman returned from a Super Bowl party at 11:49 p.m. when she found the pair. She requested officers escort the man from her home. The daughter reported she and the man were at a different party where they were drinking beer. The girl said she knew he was not allowed in her house, but she invited him anyway.

The girl is facing a juvenile charge of underage consumption. The man, who had a small amount of marijuana and a marijuana pipe, was charged with underage consumption, marijuana possession and drug paraphernalia possession.

Major, and I mean major party foul by the mother here. Not only did you get your daughter in trouble with the law but you managed to embarrass the shit out of her just because you were jealous of her getting some Steely McBeam from some young hunk. She should be the one in jail for bad parenting. Hell, if this was in California and not Cleveland she would have been joining in with her daughter on same late night sexcapades.

THE CURIOUS CASE OF MATT BUSH

Some kids are born with all the talent in the world yet have a ten cent head. Matt Bush would be one of those kids. Bush was taken #1 overall in the 2004 MLB draft by his hometown San Diego Padres becoming the first high school shortstop to be taken in the top spot since Alex Rodriguez in 1993. The similarities between the two end right there.

His selection was controversial from the start as more highly regarded college players such as Stephen Drew and Jered Weaver were passed on by the Padres because of signing bonus issues. In other words Scott Boras represented both. The Padres took Bush who was a local kid out of Mission Bay High School and gave him their biggest signing bonus to date at $3.15 million. The 18 year old Bush had a ton of money in his pocket to burn and little sense of the talent he had. Less than two weeks after the draft he was involved in a fight at a nightclub in Peoria, AZ, just outside of the Padres Spring Training facility. He was accused of felony assault, disorderly conduct, misdemeanor trespassing, and alcohol consumption by a minor. In other words just a typical weekend for myself in college.

He went on to hit only .199 in 99 at-bats at Rookie level ball while adjusting to the switch from aluminum to wooden bats. The Padres expected big things out of him in 2005, his second season in minor league ball. Unfortunately he continued to struggle this time at A Ball in Ft. Worth. His .221 average over 453 at bats was clearly not living up the hype of his #1 overall draft pick status. He was invited to Spring Training in 2006 but broke his ankle and missed half the season. Now that I think about it that was right around the time I broke my ankle. Holy shit, Matt Bush wants to be a Fairchild clone. We both suck at baseball but somehow he has a lot of money. Ok, we aren't too similar.

Anyways after he broke his ankle he came back and put up a putrid .583 OPS in 2007 before the Padres decided to switch him to pitcher. Bush has a cannon for an arm and could routinely hit mid 90's on the radar gun. He was also a star pitcher for his high school team so it looked like it might work out on the mound as he fanned 16 batters in just over 7 innings of work in the Arizona League. He lasted only 7 innings when he started feeling pain in his elbow. He had a torn ligament in his right elbow and underwent Tommy John surgery which required him to miss the rest of the 2007 season and all of 2008.

So you would think with all these lumps Bush since he was drafted first overall in 2004 he might eventually wake up and realize what he has and not throw it all away. Nope. The Padres designated Bush for assignment to make room for Cliff Floyd on the 40 man roster yesterday. Essentially they released him and it wasn't because of his elbow. Bush is in trouble with the law again...

El Cajon police Lt. Steve Shakowski yesterday confirmed an investigation involving Bush and allegations of assaultive behavior and public intoxication. A witness, who requested his name not be used because of the ongoing police investigation, said Bush was drunk, threw a golf club into the dirt, picked up and threw a freshman lacrosse player and hit another one. Bush also yelled “I'm Matt (expletive) Bush,” and “(expletive) East County,” before driving over a curb in his Mercedes when leaving the campus, according to the witness.

So where this leaves Bush is up to him. He has become San Diego's baseball version of Ryan Leaf. An immature idiot who couldn't harness his talent or his destiny. Someone will pick him up no doubt because the talent is there. He doesn't have near the talent of a Josh Hamilton, another reclamation project, but if his velocity returns after rehab he could at the very least become a good bullpen arm at the Major League level. He is still only 23 years old and once you have Tommy John surgery the arm usually becomes more stronger with intensive rehab than it was before the injury. If he can manage to control his alcohol and rage issues then this curious Bush case could someday become a great comeback story as Hamilton proved after beating his demons.

RICHARD ZEDNIK HAS ELEVATION BRO

You may remember the name of Richard Zednik from nearly a year ago when he took an accidental teammates skate right to his external carotid artery. God was on his side then as well as Florida Panthers trainer Dave Zenobi quickly aided Zednik as he skated off the ice in stopping the bleeding by putting pressure on the wound. Zednik healed quickly and now apparently has been given the ability to elevate over opponents such as Brendan Witt for this impressive goal in a win over the Islanders last night. Godspeed Zednik!

Video HT: WithLeather

LANE KIFFIN ACCUSES URBAN MEYER OF RECRUITING VIOLATIONS

It looks like new Tennessee head coach Lane Kiffin is ready for a gunfight with Florida coach Urban Meyer. Speaking at recruiting celebration banquet this morning in Knoxville, Kiffin claimed Meyer committed a recruiting violation while a recruit named Nu'Keese Richardson was visiting Tennessee. Apparently Meyer kept calling Richardson while he was on his official visit at Tennessee and it's against the rules to have any contact with a recruit while they are taking official visits to other schools.

"I'm gonna turn Florida in right here in front of you," Kiffin told the crowd at the Knoxville Convention Center. "While Nu'Keese was on campus, his phone kept ringing. One of the coaches says, 'who's that?' And he said, Urban Meyer."

"I love the fact that Urban had to cheat and still didn't get him," Kiffin said.

If you thought the rivalry between the Volunteers and Gators was strong before wait till these two fan bases start slinging mud at each other. Kiffin managed to seal the deal with Richardson and get the one time commit from Florida to sign with Tennessee yesterday. The new head coach at Tennessee is already starting to make SEC people notice him and he seems to be ruffling people's feathers much like Meyer did when he first arrived in Gainesville. Usually that means he is a threat.

Click here to check out the video of Kiffin this morning speaking to the Tennessee faithful.

At first I thought the Kiffin hire was a mistake because of his lack of experience going into a high pressure situation that is Tennessee football but now I'm thinking he is the perfect hire. Recruits seem to gravitate towards him and he is already riling up a rabid fan base begging for a winner.

LITTLE PIMPIN

This little girl has better rap skills than the less talented and still alive Phoenix brother. Eminem ain't got nothing on her yo!

JAWANZA STARLING IS A TROJAN RIGHT? NOT SO FAST MY FRIEND

Earlier today top prep safety Jawanza Starling out of Florida declared his intentions to go to USC. The only problem is he hasn't faxed in his letter of intention to Pete Carroll so nothing is official and right now he is seriously pondering going to Notre Dame. In fact if you go check out the comments on the players in the 2009 class for USC there is no mention of Starling.

From what I am hearing is Starling had narrowed his choices down to USC and Notre Dame today. He decided to announce USC but apparently is having second thoughts and the Fighting Irish are very much in his thoughts. The Notre Dame coaches are considering him fair game so they are still actively recruiting him. He has apparently struck up a pretty close bond to current ND defensive coordinator Corwin Brown also.

Landing Starling and stealing him from USC would be huge. Notre Dame is thin at depth at the safety position and don't even have one in the class they signed today. USC already has 3 signed safeties in their 2009 class and a pretty good amount of depth because they are USC. They have an insane amount of talented depth at every position in fact.

So where will Starling end up? South Bend or South Central? I guess we will just have to wait and see.

UPDATE: South Central wins, Starling faxed in his signed letter of intent this morning to USC after mulling over his decision. Good luck to him.

2010 TOP LB CHRIS MARTIN IS IRISH

According to IrishIllustrated.com Notre Dame has pulled in their second five star outside linebacker today in Chris Martin.

"I thought about it deeply and hard, and it fits everything I'm looking for in a school from academics to playing time," Martin said. " I feel like ND is the appropriate place for me to go."

Martin is just a junior this season but is already considered one of the elite outside linebackers/defensive ends in the 2010 class. The kid has top 10 overall prospect potential for his class and to pull him out of California is huge considering he was USC's top target for the 2010 class. Martin was first team all-state this past season after recording 115 tackles including an astonishing 40 tackles for loss. He has received offers from all the big schools including LSU, Georgia and Nebraska among many others.

Bringing in Manti Te'o and Chris Martin in the same day is simply incredible. Te'o has a great shot of starting next year at outside linebacker in South Bend and Martin has the frame (6 '4 and 225 lbs) to fill out to be a great defensive end. Stealing both these guys from USC bodes well to a program on the rise with almost all of their key starters back next season.

TOP WR MARLON BROWN PICKS GEORGIA

The Georgia Bulldogs picked up a huge signing today when one of the best receivers in the nation, Marlon Brown, decided to catch balls in Athens. Team him up with last year's freshman sensation A.J. Green and you have a great receiving tandem for at least the next two seasons for Joe Cox and/or freshman QB Aaron Murray to throw bombs to.

MANTI TE'O PICKS NOTRE DAME!!!!

Hell yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Manti Te'o is Irish baby!!!!!!!!! Suck it USC!!!!!!



Get ready Notre Dame fans to see 4 years of kickass linebackers in Manti, Zeke Motta, Dan Fox, and Carlo Calabrese.

FLORIDA LB FRANKIE TELFORT PICKS USC

Pete Carroll snags one out of Florida in OLB Frankie Telfort. Hopefully this helps Notre Dame's chances with Manti Te'o. Please baby Jesus I hope.

JELANI JENKINS PICKS FLORIDA

In my opinion LB Jelani Jenkins is the best player in this class. He has speed, size, and he loves to destroy the opposition. Urban Meyer got a great one in Jenkins who should be in the two deep next season in Gainesville. It's refreshing to hear a kid who is well spoken and congratulates and acknowledges all the schools who recruited him instead of pissing on them on a national stage. Get ready to hear a lot about Jelani as the SEC conference again gets another spectacular player...

DARREN MYLES JR. PICKS TENNESSEE

One of Atlanta's own in safety Darren Myles Jr. has decided to leave the comforts of peaches and peanuts for Dollywood. SEC fans should be on the look out for Lane Kiffin and his posse of recruit stealers. Kiffin apparently knows how to close in the same sense as Pete Carroll when it comes to recruits. Florida and UGA fans sweat while shaking their heads...

LSU ADDS TO IT'S TALENT IN MONTGOMERY

One of the top defensive linemen in the country, Sam Montgomery, has decided to go to LSU where he will play his next 3 seasons before being a first round draft pick. He will get bigger, stronger, and faster in Baton Rouge in a class that is more than likely going to have the best class in the nation when all is said and done. The running theme of the day is "the rich get richer!"

JEFFREY LOVES TO KEEP HIS COCK FREE OF TROJANS

WR Alshon Jeffrey decided to go to the shitty USC in Columbia and renegade on his long standing commitment to hookers and blow in LA. Jeffrey is one of the top wide receivers in the nation and should major in mediocrity in the SEC. I'm happy the Trojans and Pete Carroll lost one here but I do think it is shitty to switch your commitment the day of signing day. It's not like you just wake up from a dream of naked Southern Cal chicks and say "I love Cock!" At least I hope not.

BYRON MOORE GOING TO USC

Talk about an incredibly lame declaration on ESPNU, safety Byron Moore decided to go back to USC by tossing Colorado and Notre Dame hats on the ground. Fight on. Cheat on. Whatever you want to call it but there is no doubt that the stinking Trojans got a really good player in Moore. It seems Moore was more confused than a kid seeing his first pubic hair at the press conference.

HOOKERS AND BLOW MY FRIENDS. FIGHT ON!

RECRUITING CHAOS STARTS TOMORROW MORNING

I will be here all day to blog about the latest "I can't believe that fucking douchebag kid went to that school" and offer my analysis on "well, he wasn't really that good" and "his parents made him go to that school" and "I heard he has genital warts and the cream at USC is the best, thus the decision." I will be drinking beer like high school kids do when they are not hitting the bong ala Michael Phelps all day so it could get chaotic, mean, and ugly. You should be here starting at 8 am and never leave.

To give you a little taste of what National Signing Day for high school football is like at Sportscrack I present the case of LB Vontaze Burfict. Vontaze is a top 10 overall player in the nation who has been committed to USC (the real one, not the fake one in Columbia) since his junior season. Well word on the streets of LA is that Burfict is now going to Arizona State to be with his friends and slay killer Sun Devil poon. And the mighty Trojans don't lose players the calibre of Burfict the night before National Signing Day. Let's just say that their fans haven't taken it well...

To live or die in South Central, the choice is yours Manti, Byron, and Jawanza. 40 year decision or Valtrex? Crazy horny catholic girls or Pete Carroll's dead hookers? Seems pretty simple to me.

Georgia player of the year Greg Reid gave a giant FU to Knowshon Moreno's #24 that he was promised from Mark Richt and instead decided to go with the Criminoles. This proves that old man river can still recruit and convince kids that should be his great grandchildren that he still can get them to the NFL. Dag gummit them.

PITTSBURGH STEELERS SUPER BOWL 43 XLIII MINI HELMETS, REPLICA FULL SIZE AND AUTHENTIC HELMETS FOR SALE

We got some of these cool, brand new Pittsburgh Steelers Super Bowl 43 Champion mini helmets in stock for the low price of $25. They retail for $35 at most on-line stores. Be sure to spread the word to any Steelers fans out there about these one of a kind official NFL Super Bowl 43 XLIII mini helmets. They should sell out quickly.

We also have the full size replicas for $100 and the Authentic Pro Lines, the same ones they wear on the field for $200.

SANTONIO HOLMES TECMO BOWL TD CATCH

An FYI for all old school Tecmo Bowl fans. If you have a Wii you can download the original Tecmo Bowl on to your system for only $5 through a WIFI connection. You can run sprints down the sidelines with Bo Jackson and Walter Payton all over again. Or throw deep to Jerry Rice. I highly recommend it. It brings back a lot of memories. The 16 bit games were so much more simpler as was life back when we were kids. I'm hoping they will bring back NHL 93. I used to score at will with Jeremy Roenick in that game and the fact that you could make players bleed will never get old. If you don't remember the game then your childhood sucked. Here is a great scene from Swingers...

MICHAEL PHELPS: AN AMERICAN BONG HERO

This picture was supposedly taken at some party Michael Phelps attended near the University of South Carolina. Looks like he is having a hell of a time. See kids, with the right amount of rips off a bong you too can become a famous world class athlete with tons of gold medals. Or you can deal drugs and become a Super Bowl MVP. Saying no is for pussies. Just ask Michael Phelps and Santonio Holmes.

And before you get your panties in a bunch Michael Phelps came out yesterday and confirmed it is him in the picture. That what us Maryland boys do. Crabcakes and bongs!

THE TWO BEST SUPER BOWL COMMERCIALS

All of the other ones sucked balls. I am especially disappointed in the Budweiser marketing people. I don't give a rat's ass about some stinking horses guys! Anyways, here they are...



And this one was okay for Bud Light...


I think it's time to bring back Bud Bowl for the halftime show. I had no interest in watching Bruce Springsteen along with everybody else who grew up outside of the northeast.

UPDATE: I forgot about this E Trade talking baby commercial. It must have been the booze. It makes me forget shit like where did I hide my gun and who am I going to pin the murder on this time. I love drinking....



Am I forgetting any other commercials? If I am please be a dick and tell me what I missed on my list of best commercials in the comment section.

FROM DRUG DEALER TO SUPER BOWL MVP

Only in America can a guy who once dealt rock as a kid to buy the coolest Nike shoes back in the day go from that to making one of the greatest catches in Super Bowl history. Santonio Holmes is your Super Bowl MVP after last night's performance...

You couldn't have asked for a better game. I found myself rooting for the Arizona Cardinals and Kurt Warner last night because it seemed like every single call in the first 3 quarters went against them. They literally couldn't catch a break even when James Harrison had the interception returned for a TD at the end of the first half. If his knee goes down half a foot before he falls down then it is no touchdown and the Cardinals probably win the game. The running into the place kick holder and the unnecessary roughness on Big Ben were bullshit calls in my book but it goes to show you that the Cardinals were in fact a great team to come back and compete in this game. Big Ben is now a top 3 QB in the NFL and Warner is a for sure Hall of Famer as well as Big Ben. It goes to show you how much these games mean.

So now that football is officially done we have to look forward to this Wednesday for National Signing Day. Then we wait for college spring practice which is always a point of optimism going into the 2009 season. And then we are fucked till Fall unless you are a baseball fan like I am. Because who watches basketball or hockey anymore? Do they even play? I guess I will have to start paying attention to these things.

THIS SUPER BOWL COMMERCIAL IS A LITTLE SUGGESTIVE

Don't ya think?....



"Mommy, why are those balloons wrestling?"

WOMEN DRIVERS

Listen, I'm not going to go in a long rant about some female drivers because at the end of the rant I will look like a sexist, racist-like Ashton Kutcher bitching about his neighbors construction.

So instead I will let the video do the talking:


I literally laughed so hard when the lady flipped her car I started choking and coughing. Great stuff.

Video HT: Elizabeth

MANTI TE'O WILL BE IRISH

Notre Dame has a recent history of being burned pretty badly when it comes to football recruits making their college decision come signing day. I could go through the list but it just brings up bad memories of what if's and why not's. Charlie Weis and his staff have put in an all out effort to recruit Hawaii LB Manti Te'o who could conceviably step in and start right away for programs such as ND and USC. Te'o is a devout Mormon who surprisingly eliminated BYU last week and will now make his decision between ND, USC, and UCLA. Weis has personally visited Te'o for in-home visit a few weeks ago and this week defensive coordinator Corwin Brown and Brian Polian also made the long flight to Te'o's home to review the benefits of choosing Notre Dame.

The Fighting Irish even played in front of Te'o during the Hawaii Bowl and put on quite a show and apparently the word is that Te'o is interested in going on his own path and trying new things. In a perfect USC world Te'o would no doubt be theirs to have. They call him Baby Seau and he reminds people a lot of LB Rey Maualuga who will be a top 15 draft pick in this April's NFL draft. But I have a good feeling that Notre Dame will land the five star linebacker even after he takes his last official visit to USC this weekend.

At USC he would become just another linebacker but at Notre Dame he would become a legend if he lives up to his prep hype. Notre Dame has not had a dominant All-American linebacker since Michael Stonebreaker was getting in fights with Hurricanes. Don't even bring up Courtney Watson or Kory Minor's name. Yes, they were good. But not great. And Te'o has the ability and the attitude to be a great one. The fact that Notre Dame is still in the running for Te'o speaks volumes in the staff's recruiting ability. Te'o has made one official visit to Notre Dame and can you guess the game?

Syracuse. They lost to a fucking horrible Syracuse team in a game full of snow and bad weather and it was Te'o first experience in the snow. It was also his only experience to see the Notre Dame campus and take it in. Growing up in Hawaii the chances of you seeing snow are about the same as Charlie drinking a Diet Coke and losing to stinking Syracuse. So the fact that they still remain in contention only goes to show you how good the staff is at selling Notre Dame.

And that is why I think Notre Dame will get Te'o signature next Wednesday. Weis has gone above and beyond in his recruitment while nursing two torn knees. You can't tell me that doesn't factor in a recruit's mind when he sees a hurting, gimpy coach flying thousands of miles with two bum knees just so he can sell him on the Fighting Irish.

Te'o will be Irish. Mark it down.

SUPER BOWL 43 ODDS FROM CARL

God have I missed Carl. The man basically got me through the NFL season last year with his upper arm hair and his dry witty humor. Carl for Aqua Force Teen Hunger whatever the fuck you want to call it should have his own show. Primetime on Fox. Right before American Idol. Let's make this happen.

Odds of it happening: 0.
Odds of Matt Leinart passing out drunk and wetting his pants at a Saturday night party before the big game: 50/50
Odds that I have done the same exact thing as Leinart: 100

Via WithLeather via AdultSwim

ARIZONA CARDINALS VS PITTSBURGH STEELERS BODY PAINT

Forget Super Bowl 43, the real winner is the guy who got to videotape these two ladies body painting themselves. So who would you pick to win after watching this video? Personally I would go Steelers but the Cardinals make a hell of a case. The guy behind the camera sounds like the guy at the mall who comes up to talk to you, acts all friendly, tries to make conversation and then hits you up with the "So have you found Jesus Christ in your life?"

Video HT: FanDome

SIDNEY CROSBY'S BACKHANDED GOAL

They don't get much prettier than this...

I haven't been talking much hockey this year because my Atlanta Thrashers are one of the worst teams in the NHL. Not just on the ice but off it. They should have fired GM Don Waddell years ago but somehow he still has a job even though the franchise has yet to win a single playoff game since he started the first roster from scratch back in 1999. He is a joke and should have been pushed out of the city as fast as Michael Vick was last year. But rant aside this is a nasty goal by Sidney Crosby past Lundquist of the Rangers. If Crosby was a Thrasher he would have been traded for Marian Hossa. Fuck!

A SIGN THAT BASEBALL IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER

Touch it to enlarge it. Tell me you haven't heard that before.

This picture was taken right outside of the new Busch Stadium in St. Louis. I think they are ready for some baseball. I'm getting in the spirit too as the Orioles and Braves have both made some good offseason moves recently and should be fun to watch at least for the first half of the season.

Picture HT: Deadspin