SCRATCH THE MOUNTAIN WEST TO BECOME A BCS CONFERENCE; UTAH BOLTING FOR THE PAC-10

Last week Boise State joined the Mountain West Conference and in my head I thought with the ten teams now in the conference they should get an automatic BCS bowl bid. Scratch that thought. The Utah Utes are expected to accept an invitation to become the 12th team in the new PAC-10 in what we now be a two division split.

With Utah expected to become the Pac-10's 12th team Thursday, the question arises: How will the conference split up its divisions?
Most likely, new additions Colorado and Utah will play in a southern division with Arizona, Arizona State, USC and UCLA.

This is of course is great news for the Utes. They have won two BCS bowl games to finish off two undefeated seasons and they could have a chance to compete right away for a PAC-10 title. With the USC sanctions look out for the Utes in 2012. They will earn a shitload more money and get a ton of exposure in a BCS Conference. Maybe even compete for a National Title.

This royally sucks for the Mountain West Conference. They will look to add another program but replacing Utah will be tough. They were well on their way to being a legit football conference but now you have to wonder if the Big 12 will now try to pry away TCU from them. Losing TCU and Utah would make the conference bad. I'm talking Big East bad.



Tune in tomorrow for the latest domino effect.


Photo courtesy of AP/Dave Martin

CLAY TRAVIS HAD ME AT TEXAS=COWARDS

Picture courtesy of Frumpzilla.com

As you probably know I wasn't too happy earlier this week when I found out the Texas Longhorns pulled the asshole card out and decided to stick with the Big 12 Conference. I say "asshole" because they managed to convince Nebraska to leave for the Big Ten and Colorado to leave for the Pac-10 and they were playing with Oklahoma, Texas Tech, and Texas A&M who were ready to bounce where ever the Longhorns landed. Instead they stayed in a shitty conference that plays no defense and now as long as they win their annual Red River Shootout game they have a good chance of going undefeated during their powder puff regular season. This gives them an excellent chance of making the BCS Title game almost annually. It sort of like USC in the Pac-10. The competition blows in those conferences unlike the SEC and without a playoff we get stuck watching two soft teams automatically play for a championship.

Anyways with that being said AOL's FanHouse Clay Travis (a Vandy alum) decided to lay the lumber on Texas by calling them "The Biggest Coward Program in College Football." I could sum it up in a few sentences but it won't do it justice. Travis hits the nail on the head...

Conference realignment died because the Texas football program is made up of cowards who are aware that the Longhorns program can't compete at the top levels of the SEC or the Pac-10. That's what your takeaway from the past two weeks of conference realignment really needs to be. Yep, the state that values masculine swagger more than any other in the nation features a top football program that is yella.

All hat, no cattle.

The Longhorns had offers to move on to compete with top echelon talent in the SEC and the Pac-10. Instead, like recalcitrant female cattle, they balked, choosing to remain in a weakened Big 12 that is minus two of the traditional powers in the league.

How bad is Texas' schedule now even with a round-robin nine-game slate to come in 2012? It's likely the Longhorns will have one top 25 conference game a season, the annual Texas-Oklahoma tussle in October. Meaning Texas will try and back door its way into the BCS title game each season by avoiding challenges rather than competing with the best in college football.

If Sam Houston had known the cowardice of the Longhorns in 2010, he would have forgotten the Alamo.

What's more, while Texas is a coward in the larger universe of college football, the Longhorns are a bully in their own conference, the equivalent of a mob boss extracting loyalty payments from the five weakest members. Why did Texas (along with Oklahoma and Texas A&M) take a larger share of contractual payouts owed by Colorado and Nebraska for leaving the conference?

Because it could.

But that's how bullies always behave, right?



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They beat up on the weak and then get their asses kicked or turn tail when someone steps to them. Ask Colt McCoy and Texas about that. The Longhorns quarterback threw for 4 billion yards in his career against the sisters of the poor defenses in the Big 12. He lasted for less than a full quarter against an SEC defense. Yep, the SEC and the Pac-10 would have been the barbed wire to Texas' BCS title dreams.

And that's what the Longhorns feared more than anything. Once it joined the SEC or the Pac 10, Texas is just another program, packing a six-shooter with no bullets. Waving that gun around in the air and yelling ain't scaring away Marcell Dareus on the blitz. He's calling your bluff and slapping you with your own empty gun. People might start to realize that for all the swagger, the Longhorns have just one national title in the past 39 years, nearly two generations of failing to capture the ultimate prize. They might also realize that most years, Texas can't even get past Oklahoma, the overrated team you've last seen being stomped by whatever opponent the Sooners draw in the BCS games, title or otherwise.

That's because when it comes to Texas football, the perception of success is much greater than the reality of success. Hell, give Texas credit though, at least it's the best of a bad lot. What can you say for Oklahoma or Texas A&M? Two ostensible rival schools that had the opportunity to prove they could stand on their own in the new world order of college athletics and instead hid behind Texas' skirt. In Romeo and Juliet, Shakespeare wrote during his famous balcony scene, "It is the East and Juliet is the sun!" If the bard dove into the mess that is the Big 12, he could adopt the same phraseology, "It is the Big 12 and Texas is the sun!"

Because never in the history of college athletics has one program so dominated the puny conference sisters it surrounds itself with. Texas is not just the sun, but the moon and the stars, while the rest of the teams in the conference are its piddling orbiting satellites. It's only a matter of time, one would think, before the Longhorns demand the gate for games they play on the other school's campus.

That's what mob bosses do, they take and take and take until someone kills them.

You think anyone in the Big 12 has the stones to step to Texas?

Hell no.

And if you've cast your conference lot with a program that doubles as the sun, moon and stars, it might be worth asking how you ever compete with that school. Do you think Texas is ever losing a recruit to a program that voluntarily turned over its millions so you could continue to be extorted in the future? Does the mob boss have a smaller house than the poor schmuck he takes down for more money? Those are rhetorical questions. And there's your answer right there, every other school in the conference has no desire to be number one. They're just comfortable basking in the penumbra of Texas' exaggerated greatness.

Of course, the ultimate irony of this entire mess is that the joke is on all college football fans. All of us, the poor sots who tramp to our respective campuses each week in an effort to determine the best team in the nation. Because we've actually created a BCS system that encourages bullying cowardice like Texas'. Instead of forcing the best to compete and crowning a champion on the field by rewarding the two best teams, we've created a system where avoiding challenges and beating up on weaker programs gives you an automatic invite to the BCS title game.

How else to explain Texas and Oklahoma appearing in six BCS title games between them and racking up a bully-like 2-4 record with an average margin of defeat of more than 18 points in those games? Texas isn't just a coward, it is gaming the system, rigging the results to allow them a position it can't earn on the field.

In the end we're left with only one conclusion: Deep in the heart of Texas lives a football program of cowards.

Time for a new burnt orange slogan:

Hook 'em ... unless you can run and hide from 'em.

I've always had a respect for the Texas Longhorns program so don't think I'm picking on them. I also think Notre Dame has played the coward card by not joining a conference and scheduling games with Tulsa, Western Michigan, and the usual run with the Military schools. They schedule these games because they know if they can just manage to win 9-10 games that their name is so big that they will almost automatically get into a BCS bowl game whether it is deserved or not. And I will go on record to say the only BCS game Notre Dame ever deserved to make was the 2006 Fiesta Bowl. The others were complete bullshit.

For the overall good of college football we need programs to challenge themselves and forget about the "tradition" of the bowl system and work together to form mega conferences that going forward can get us a playoff system. I know a lot of people who love the system the way it is now and don't want to change a thing. Honestly I don't understand these people. I understand that programs like Texas and Notre Dame are more concerned about getting their money for their programs and not sharing it but they have to realize that for the greater good of the sport itself they could make seismic changes by pushing forward a playoff system instead of only worrying about the number of zeros in their television and licensing contracts.

AN OLDIE BUT A GOODIE

This video still cracks me up. This guy honestly might be my hero. "It's time" should go down in YouTube history. If I were Derek Dooley at Tennessee I would make BigVolDaddy the official mascot. Screw Smokey. BigVolDaddy would piss all over the competition.

CHIPPER JONES NEARING RETIREMENT?

AJC.COM's Carroll Rogers has the breaking news of a possible Chipper Jones retirement announcement effective at the end of the 2010 season. Say it ain't so Chip!

First I was told Chipper was going to meet with Frank Wren and Bobby Cox today to discuss his future and then talk to the media afterward, in all likelihood to say he’s leaning toward retiring at the end of the season.

Just a few minutes ago, after all this kicked up today, I was told Chipper thinks the retirement speculation is premature and doesn’t plan to talk to the media about it today.

Obviously Chipper has been struggling this year and has seen his power numbers (3 Home runs) dip while his age has soared (38 years old). Chipper is an iconic figure in Atlanta Braves history and as far as I can remember is the only Brave to spend his whole career putting on the spikes solely in Atlanta. It would suck to see Chipper go out this way since in my mind he is a first ballot Hall of Famer (his numbers at 3B put him up there with Mike Schmidt, Brooks Robinson, and George Brett for all-time greats) and he deserves the proper send off much like Bobby Cox is getting this season and the way Cal Ripken Jr. got during his final season.

Larry will be hard to replace. Braves fan and the local media are quick to point out that they can simply resign Troy Glaus (who should be starting in the All-Star Game) and shift him to third and then bring up young Freddie Freeman from Gwinnett. That would be smart if Troy wasn't coming off his age 33 season in which a typical baseball player (minus the performance enhancers) starts to decline dramatically in terms of production and health. Also Freeman has been struggling mightily at AAA with an OPS of .746, an on base percentage that is Frenchy-like and only 5 home runs in 200 plate appearances. He isn't viewed as the can't miss prospect anymore but then again he is only 20 years old and could right the ship with a couple of hot weeks in Gwinnett.

Omar Infante has done an admirable job this season filling in for both Yunel Escobar (maybe he should think about retiring considering his struggles) and Chipper but isn't seen as long term solution as a starter. Infante is great as a sub but I have my doubts he could start every day and thrive like Martin Prado. So in conclusion Braves fans should be worried about Chipper retiring not only because he will be missed as a teammate but his production will be hard to replace.

GM Frank Wren could look to go the free agent route with Jorge Cantu, Ty Wigginton, and Bradon Inge all unrestricted free agents in 2011 but none of those guys bring back the fond memories of Chipper in a Braves uniform. Hopefully Chipper will feel a rejuvenation as the season progresses and his bat comes around much like Glaus did in May. I don't want to see Chipper go out this way. He deserves the proper send off but I'm also sure Chipper's pride won't let him be a distraction and it wouldn't shock me to see him hang up the cleats abruptly like Ken Griffey Jr.

Either way Chipper will be missed in Atlanta. You can't replace a legend.

DAMN YOU TEXAS

It looked like Texas was all ready to jump ship to either the SEC, PAC-10, or Big Ten and help form some super conferences and then they had to get all uppity and wanted to get some ass and start driving a Range Rover.


Orangebloods.com is reporting that Texas will now stay put in the Big 12 which will now become a ten team conference. Boring. Big 12 commissioner Dan Beebe has come up with some lucrative television deal with the conference that would pay Texas $20-25 million per season in revenue. Of course now it looks like the other teams (Oklahoma, Okie State, Texas Tech, and Texas A&M) who were all willing to jump ship on this shit hole of a conference are now going to stay put all because Texas is getting paid big time.

Damn you Texass. Now the Longhorns won't have to worry about playing Nebraska or Colorado and losing to them and instead will be playing in a conference with only one heavyweight (Oklahoma) who have too much vaginal secretion to go join another conference without Texas permission.

It was all working out so well. A&M was going to go to the SEC and the other 4 schools were going to go to the PAC-10 to join Colorado in a super conference. And then Notre Dame was going to the Big Ten and the SEC was going to steal a few ACC schools and then we would be on our way to an eventual playoff system. But no. Same old crappy bowl system and "BC$" to look forward to for the next 10 years. It's all about the money and not crowning a true national champion as always.

College football is the definition of insanity. Look it up. Here ya go.


Texas=cocktease

VINCE YOUNG SEEMS LIKE A NICE GUY...

but don't go flashing any upside down "Hook Em Horns" signs while he is at the strip club.



Titans look like they have made a wise investment with Vince Young. The guy has clearly matured since he left Austin and his leadership skills are outstanding when it comes to defending the Horns. If you are Jeff Fisher what do you say to Young? Aren't quarterbacks suppose to be the cool ones when under fire? I don't ever remember Joe Montana or John Elway throwing punches when someone made fun of Lou Holtz or the homeless guy dressed as the Stanford mascot.

If Young was not an athlete or famous he would be behind bars right now. Him and Rapelisberger should start hanging out. And by "hanging out" I mean they should spoon with each other.

Video HT: SportsByBrooks

KATY PERRY IS ALL ABOUT THE WORLD CUP

WWTDD.com has the pictures of Katy Perry wearing a rubber dress split into one half American flag and one half Great Britian. What the fuck is she trying to do? Create a war I would guess. Katy darling, you are a stinkin American. I don't give a shit if you are dating some heroin junkie from England. We claimed you as soon as your enormous b...personality hit the airwaves. Don't make us hate you. Don't turn into Madonna with some fake Brit accent. The States claim you as a national treasure. Two enormous treasures.

Anywho the US tied England 1-1 in a thrilling match or so I have heard. I had a baseball game that day and missed it. Supposedly the England goalkeeper fucked up and supposedly the games still sound like they are being played in a Bees nest. I haven't had a chance to watch much of the action but "Captain America" has told me the games will get better the next round. USA doesn't play till Friday against Slovenia and why am I telling you this? No clue.

Doesn't matter because Germany is going to win. Their beer and steaks are clearly better than anything Brazil or Argentina can muster up.

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TIGER WOODS NEW JUPITER ISLAND COMPOUND

Jose Lambiet has the pictures of Tiger Woods new compound that is being finished. Tony Montana would be burying cockaroaches for the rights to live in a place this big. Tiger is going to get so much ass in there. I'm talking crazy boy band ass...

Starting platforms have yet to be installed on the two-lane 100-foot or so lap pool, while the diving platform already towers over the diving pool to the north. As for the compound, the nearly 10,000-square-foot house is on the right (south). Woods’ 9,500-square-foot gym, complete with a brand spanking new oxygen therapy room, is across from what’s expected to be a reflecting pool.

So if you are like me and your neighborhood doesn't have a pool and you most certainly can't afford one yourself so you go sneak into Apartment pools (pool code is usually 243) then you can just think of poor old Tiger slumming it this weekend with about 10 girls begging for his juice. Poor guy. I feel for him.


Orginally found at TheBigLead

OKLAHOMA SOONERS TO THE PAC-10?

This report hasn't been confirmed by any of the major news outlets but NewOk has a source who knows somebody who might know somebody else who says that Oklahoma is going to the PAC-10. Sounds legit to me.

The University of Oklahoma is headed for the Pacific-10 Conference but will wait until Texas declares its intentions, an OU source told The Oklahoman Friday after Nebraska announced it will leave the Big 12 for the Big Ten.

The University of Texas board of regents have scheduled a Tuesday meeting for "discussion and appropriate action regarding athletic conference membership."

Late Thursday night, OU athletic director Joe Castiglione said he was working to keep the Big 12 (now down to 10 schools) together.

But another Big 12 athletic director told The Oklahoman such a mission "seems like a longshot."

The conference remains viable for the schools with the Pac-10 option — Oklahoma State, Oklahoma, Texas, Texas Tech and Texas A&M — only if Texas decides to stay. Castiglione's mission to keep the conference together hinges on convincing Dodds

It's starting to look like Texas just doesn't give a fuck anymore about traditional rivalries or what not. They can have their pick of the SEC, Big Ten, or the PAC-10. It seems to me they are posturing to see which conference can offer the best deal. On the other end Oklahoma is the ex-girlfriend who keeps calling and is stalking Texas until they make a final decision. Texas doesn't love you anymore Sooners. They probably figure they can still do the late night drunk dial and hook up with you every once in a while (The Red River Shootout) without being affiliated with your skanky ass.

It's time to move on Oklahoma. You don't need Texas. No need to be treated like second class when you could be banging the whole PAC-10.

ANOTHER DOMINO FALLS: BOISE STATE TO THE MOUNTAIN WEST CONFERENCE

June 10th and the 11th of the year 2010 are going to go down as the days the college football landscape was shaken to it's core. First Nebraska started by leaving the Big 12 to join the Big Ten. Then Colorado left the Big 12 to join the PAC-10. And today ESPN has reported Boise State has left the WAC to join the Mountain West Conference which is quickly becoming more powerful then the Big East and the ACC in terms of football programs.

The Boise State Broncos now join TCU, Utah, Brigham Young, Air Force, Wyoming, UNLV, San Diego State, New Mexico and Colorado State in the Mountain West Conference who could look to join the BCS discussion for conference affiliation. The Broncos are BCS busters twice as well as Utah and even TCU made a BCS Bowl game last year. This conference to me looks more top heavy than both the Big East and ACC and soon to be obsolete Big 12 conferences.

The Broncos have gone 49-4 under coach Chris Petersen and essentially earned the right to move up and make more money in a better conference. The WAC Conference hasn't sued anybody and handled it like a human being. A lesson could be learned by this.

Personally I had hoped the PAC-10 would find a way to include Boise State but I think this is a great move for the Broncos and the Mountain West Conference. They should look to expand to 12 more teams and add Kansas and Kansas State if they are in fact going to be left out after the Big 12 implodes. Kansas has been solid in football and even made a BCS appearance. We all know about the basketball program which is one of the founding fathers of the college sport. And the Wildcats are a top 10 program in basketball and their football program was solid when Bill Snyder was roaming the sidelines.

So now the question is what, when, and where is the next domino to fall for conference realignment. Will Texas go to the Big Ten or the Pac-10? Will Oklahoma go to the Pac-10 or the SEC? Will Notre Dame finally accept an open invitation to the Big Ten? All of these questions and many more should be answered within the next couple of months if not days.

God I can't wait till college football starts.

WHINE FOREVER

Pete the Cheat just doesn't get it. The NCAA found out one of your coaches (Todd McNair) knowingly tried to hide the fact that Reggie Bush was receiving improper gifts and money. If McNair knew then there is a pretty good chance you knew what was going on. This isn't hear no, speak no, see no violations here Pete. You guys cheated. Accept it and try to move on instead of denying. Don't pull the Pete Rose defense.


But then again it looks like Pete Carroll was taught to look the other way from AD Mike Garrett. Check out the balls on this fucking guy:

“As I read the decision by the NCAA, all I could get out of all of this was … I read between the lines and there was nothing but a lot of envy, and they wish they all were Trojans,” Garrett said to cheers Thursday night at the San Francisco Airport Marriott.

If you want to look up the definition of "lack of institutional control" then I think we need to put a reference picture of Mike Garrett. This guy might be one of the biggest morons to walk the planet. It's like Lindsay Lohan's alcohol craved soul drifted into him.

“Regardless of what happens in that appeal, we know this: SC is more powerful than anything else,” Kiffin said. “The university, the football program, the basketball program -- no matter what they try to do to us, it won’t matter.”

The lack of humility if just astonishing. At first I thought the NCAA coming down and hammering USC with these sanctions yesterday would help clean up their program. But now I have no doubt they will continue to be renegades. They don't want to even confess that Reggie Bush fucked up. The guy was a hell of a player but the way he walked around and took every single handout for him and his family and yet their compliance department and coaches are going to stick to their guns and say they knew nothing about it just makes me wish they got the SMU treatment.

In short: FUSC.

THE NON-SOCCER FAN’S GUIDE TO ENJOYING THE WORLD CUP

As a rabid soccer fan for most of my life (I haven’t missed a game since 1994, the first year the tournament was widely broadcast in the US), you might think that I am the last person to know how an average American sports fan might get interested in a “foreign” sport like soccer. But the fact is that over the years I have had a chance to convert many people from non-participators to rabid fans, and there is no better opportunity to do that than The World Cup.

I understand entirely that soccer can be difficult and even boring to watch at times, especially if you don’t know what the hell is going on. Trust me that I have seen games played at the top level that are just plain painful to watch, full of diving, crying, and cheap shots, and all of them have involved Cristiano Ronaldo. But apart from hotly contested league matches in England or Italy, The World Cup is generally the most exciting soccer you can see, especially in the early rounds when teams are trying to assert themselves and get into the knockout stages.

But let’s not concern ourselves with any of that. I am here to talk to the guys that hate the game. I’m not here to tell you why it’s great, to learn the rules, to study the history and to suddenly become some kind of multi-culti pansy that people like me are repelled by. Not at all. Instead, I want you to have a reason to join the party, despite the fact that you think soccer is for Euro-trash and illegals. So here we go:



A) It’s a chance to be fiercely patriotic:

The US is progressing. We have a passable and improving professional league with an increasingly talented pool of players. Most of our guys have proven themselves in Europe’s best leagues. But we’re still pretty weak in the eyes of the world, and the World Cup is a chance for us to stick it to some elitist, pompous asses who don’t give us a chance. We are a country that is used to winning everything it really wants to, and soccer is the last place in the world where America isn’t feared. Well, if that doesn’t get you fired up, you’re not my audience.

The last time the US faced England in The World Cup we won, 1-0. It happened in 1950, and nobody here cared, but the English hate to be reminded of it. Even if they beat us on Saturday by twenty goals, their record against us in major competitions will only be 1-1. Don’t let them forget that.

I love England, and will pull for them in every game but ours. They have been our best friend since we booted them, their taxation, their syphillis and their in-bred king off of our shores, but for 90 minutes on Saturday they are the enemy, and that’s some fun stuff. All the rest of the countries involved? Well, I’m sure I can come up with a reason to hate each of them with a passion for 90 minutes, and so can you. If you treat each match-up with that same blind xenophobia, you will have something invested in all 64 matches.

So get out there and root for The Yanks if for no other reason but to rub it in somebody’s face that doesn’t look like you. And when we eventually get eliminated (and we will), I’m sure one of your ancestors escaped from one of the remaining countries a hundred plus years ago. Adopt that hell-hole for the rest of the month and support them with a passion. This might be your best chance ever to score with a foreign girl. Trust me, they’re usually drunk.

B, C, and D) If you need any other reasons, you can go to Hell


There you go! Enjoy The World Cup!

Hopefully I’ll get asked back as we go to blog about whatever is interesting to me during the Cup. I also hope this offended some people. Please let me know in the comments section.

Signed,

Captain America*

*=in no way related to or in violation of Marvel Comics and their creations

WHAT IS WRONG WITH PHILLIES FANS?

THE FIGHTINS have yet another despicable picture of a Phillies fan gone wild. I thought those people up there only drank Natty Light and Yuengling? Coors Light? Are you fucking kidding me kid? This kid should have got tasered for bad taste. Cold activated bottle my ass! This kid would probably throw batteries at me if he knew I was making fun of him.

NOT SO FAST MY FRIENDS! IT'S NOW A LOSS OF 3O SCHOLARSHIPS FOR USC

Reggie Bush and USC assistant coach Todd McNair royally screwed over the future of the USC Football program. Check out this excerpt from the NCAA report:

``At least by January 8, 2006, the assistant football coach had knowledge that student-athlete 1 and agency partners A and B likely were engaged in NCAA violations. At 1:34 a.m. he had a telephone conversation for two minutes and 23 seconds with agency partner A during which agency partner A attempted to get the assistant football coach to convince student-athlete 1 either to adhere to the agency agreement or reimburse agency partners A and B for money provided to student-athlete 1 and his family. Further, during his September 19, 2006, and February 15, 2008, interviews with the enforcement staff, the assistant football coach violated NCAA ethical conduct legislation by providing false and misleading information regarding his knowledge of this telephone call and the NCAA violations associated with it. The assistant football coach failed to alert the institution's compliance staff of this information and later attested falsely, through his signature on a certifying statement, that he had no knowledge of NCAA violations.''

Now the official word is USC will lose 10 football scholarships per year for 3 years. A total of 30! This is absolutely devastating for any football program no matter how much depth you have on your roster. They are banned from postseason for 2 years and their wins from 2004 and 2005 have been vacated by the NCAA since Bush was ineligible. Now the Heisman Trophy Trust can look into taking away Bush's Heisman since essentially he wasn't an eligible player that season. Vince Young will now wrap his sweaty chest around the stiff arm statue. All of Bush's records will be erased from the USC books and it will be like he never played in 2004 and 2005.

The Bush Push of 2005 doesn't exist and now Notre Dame can claim victory. If they want they can be like Alabama and chalk up another National Title that they didn't earn.

It looks like Lane Kiffin's start in Los Angeles is off to a great start. He seems like a good, clean play by the NCAA rules coach to help clean up the program.


So what does the SportsCrack nation think about the sanctions? Fair? Not so much?

Dudes a Deuche...

Picture of TrueBall

That’s just my opinion but seriously, am I the only one over Ben Roethlisberger?

Granted the guy has won two Super Bowl rings for the Steelers, but how many girls do those rings allow him to (allegedly) molest? I mean really?!?!? I’ve watched him first hand pass around girls like they were another Coors Light… wait my bad, in Pittsburgh, the drink IC Light (Iron City Brewing Company for those of you not familiar, is cheaper, yet not as fulfilling version of Miller). I’m not denying the guy’s athletic ability, I’m just curious to know how someone who’s just a shade away from becoming the next OJ Simpson, off the field of course, keeps getting away with whatever heinous crimes he'd like.

I’d love to see Roethlisberger, Michael Vick, Marcus Vick, Terrell Owens, “Pacman” Jones, the entire Minnesota Vikings Team (I’m on a boat!), Milton Bradley, Carlos Zambrano, John Rocker, Lou Holtz (sorry Matt, but it’s way past his time to move out of the spotlight), Ron Artest, Gilbert Arenas, and Stephon Marbury compete on a new reality game show called “The Biggest Head Case”. I mean really, how much do athletes think they can get away with? They say money can’t buy happiness, but it should be able to buy an adviser who helps you make good decisions and a PR agent that helps smooth over the bad decisions that you make anyway. How are kids supposed to look at athletes as role models when the people who are in the public spotlight somehow think that it is okay to carry guns through airports, in locker rooms, rob kids outside of McDonald's, force themselves on young girls, or fight with their team mates on the field? Personally, I don’t want my kids to grow up as thugs and I’m tired of watching professional athletes make a mockery of the class of our parent’s generation.

Guys like Ken Griffey Jr. and Cal Ripken should be the norm, not the exception. In the era of steroids, cheating scandals, gloves that seemingly don’t fit (even though DNA evidence does exist), skipping court hearings at will, toting pot in “hidden water bottle compartments”, giving yourself fake names (Ron Mexico was hilarious though… haha… someone has the bumps… haha), cheating on your spouse and claiming you’re addicted to sex (seriously… who’s not?!?!?) and public figures literally getting away with "murder", I can honestly say I miss the days when we were worried that a pitcher may have a bit of petroleum jelly under the bill of his hat. Now I have to worry that the same “superstar” may be in a bar one day with the daughter that I don’t have yet and convince her that “it’s okay” and show he has a temper if she doesn’t consent to whatever he feels justified in doing.

Not that I wish harm on anyone, but I wouldn’t be sad if a certain someone rode his motorcycle into the Allegheny River, without a helmet, got frostbite, lost a few fingers, couldn’t play football again, and ended up on a couch like the rest of us talking about our “glory days”. Just in case "Big Ben" is reading and gets his feelings hurt, he can always send his bouncer to beat me up like he tried to do in Jack’s (check it out if you ever go to the Burgh by the way... cheap beer... good crowd) in Pittsburgh back in 08, but somehow I feel like he may be too busy riding his motorcycle without a helmet or scaring another girl into sleeping with him as he’s been accused of in the past.

Just in case you haven't seen the latest, check out this article from Katie Thomas and Richard Sandomir of the New York Times

The 20-year-old college student who said she was assaulted by Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger told an investigator that she and her friends thought his presence in their college town was “weird” and said she did not fight because she feared he had a short temper, according to interviews released Wednesday by the Georgia Bureau of Investigation.

During a 10-minute video interview, the woman said she and her friends were initially excited when they learned that Roethlisberger was spending the evening of March 5 in Milledgeville, a town 80 miles southeast of Atlanta that is home to Georgia College & State University. Roethlisberger owns a vacation home nearby.

But upon reflection, she said on the video, which was posted on the Web site of The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette: “That’s weird. You’re in a college town. He’s 28 years old.”

In addition to the interview with Roethlisberger’s accuser, the Georgia Bureau of Investigation released other audio and video recordings related to the case. In April, the local district attorney declined to prosecute Roethlisberger, citing a lack of evidence and the accuser’s desire that he not be charged. But he was suspended for up to six games by the N.F.L. for violating the league’s personal-conduct policy.

In Pittsburgh, Roethlisberger took part in a Steelers practice session Wednesday but did not talk with the news media, according to The Associated Press.

One of the woman’s friends, Nicole Biancofiore, said Wednesday that she was upset the agency released the videos, including one that featured an interview with Biancofiore, who was in the club that night.

“I think it’s ridiculous that the videos are released when there are no charges being pressed,” Biancofiore said in a text message to a reporter.

A call to a number listed as belonging to the accuser’s mother was not returned. She has not made any public statements about the case.

The videotaped interview with the woman was the second she had given to investigators: the first took place soon after the reported assault, when the woman acknowledged that she was drunk. The second interview was conducted the next day, and she appeared relatively calm as she answered questions. In the video, her face is blurred.

Asked about some details of the sexual encounter, the woman, who said she is 5 feet 4 inches, said she did not fight back. “I noticed throughout the night he kind of had a short temper,” she said. “I obviously didn’t want him to hurt me any more than he was going to.”

Like I said, dude's a deuche, but that's just my opinion...

RUH ROH: TEXAS A&M TO THE SEC?

Just when I thought everything was going to kind of make sense in this college football conference realignment Andy Staples of SI.com has the balls to throw this wrench....

A source confirmed to SI.com late Wednesday that emissaries from the SEC initiated discussions with Texas A&M athletic director Bill Byrne months ago, and while the SEC is just one of several potential options for the Aggies, it remains an option heading into Thursday's meeting between Texas A&M and Texas officials. At the meeting, power brokers from both schools will discuss a last-ditch effort to save the Big 12, even if Nebraska's Board of Regents votes Friday to leave for the Big Ten. "It's on life support," the source said of the Big 12. "But people have come off life support before."
Officials also will discuss a potential invitation from the Pac-10 that also would include four other Big 12 schools. Presumably, they also will discuss the SEC's talks with Texas A&M.


Read More: http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2010/writers/andy_staples/06/10/aggies.options/index.html#ixzz0qTAe7ahO
Get a free NFL Team Jacket and Tee with SI Subscription

SEC Commissioner Mike Slive has an ace up his sleeve or at least he thinks in A&M. But what the fuck dude? You could have got Texas! Why settle for pennies when you can get Franklins. SEC just needs to go balls to the wall and go get Notre Dame. Sure ND not close to the Southeastern region but neither is A&M. The revenue and rating with Notre Dame in the fold would be tremendous. Maybe Slive has pocket aces. Who knows?

"WE GOT KILLED"

Inside USC's Scott Wolf had this terrific quote in regards to the USC sanctions...

``We got killed,'' said a source who saw the report but not wish to be identified.

I feel bad for them. There is no reason for them to stick around. It's a murder scene now. Transfer. Transfer. Transfer and get out of that hell hole before you get sliced too.

Yours truly,

SportsCrack.com


Disclaimer=This shirt has no affiliation with any USC organization. It refers to "FUCK" AND "U" AND "SPOILED" AND "CHILDREN."

ANOTHER DOMINO FALLS: COLORADO STAMPEDES TO THE PAC-10

Matt Hayes of the SportingNews.com is reporting that the University of Colorado is set to announce a move to the Pac-10 Conference as early as today.

Colorado is now officially the first domino to fall in college football expansion. The Buffs will formally announce today that they are leaving the Big 12 for the Pac-10, according to a source close to the situation.

The Big 12 is also expected to lose Nebraska to the Big Ten, and those two losses will be the beginning of the Big 12's breakup.

Texas, Texas A&M, Texas Tech, Oklahoma and Oklahoma State are also expected to announce their plans to leave the Big 12 for the Pac-10 as soon as today.

Even if Nebraska doesn't leave for the Big Ten, Colorado is still committed to the Pac-10. If the Big 12 somehow stays intact –- without a Nebraska defection — CU still would be part of a two-team Pac-10 expansion, possibly including Utah.

The Nebraska situation could be cleared up as early as today.

The PAC-16 is going to be an amazing football conference finally. I know there are PAC-10 apologists out there but the only real football history the conference has in terms of national power is Southern Cal. But now with the additions of Texas and Oklahoma you could make a solid argument that they are now the best football conference in the nation. Take a deep breath SEC fans.

With the formation of a 16 team power conference in the "Pacific" you would have to think the Big Ten is now looking to expand from the 12 teams they have now (I'm including Nebraska) and will look to add 4 more teams. Notre Dame joining makes sense. So does Missouri, Pittsburgh, and Rutgers because of the TV market.

The SEC should look to expand and raid some of the ACC teams. Virginia Tech, Clemson, Miami, and Georgia Tech could be outstanding additions and would further expand the SEC TV reach (although it could be argued that Clemson and Georgia Tech regions are already SEC dominated).

The problem with all of this is you still need at least one more "super" conference. The Big East, ACC, and Big 12 leftovers would have to form a new conference. Kansas with it's rich basketball history and tradition would be left grasping for conference straws if all this goes down. That doesn't seem right and I believe teams like Utah, Boise State and TCU deserve the chance to move into a power conference. I'm not using "BCS" anymore because with these super conferences the BCS would become void and we could move forward to an eventual playoff system with 8 teams (4 super conference champs and 4 at-large bids).

A College Football playoff would get almost or near the same ratings that the Super Bowl gets domestically. It would be huge and the buildup to win the conferences or at least be in the top 5 at the end of the year to reach the playoff would not diminish the regular season at all as some idiots have argued.

Do It!

CONGRATULATIONS TO THE CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS

This is what sports is all about. Jeremy Roenick is so proud of his former team in the Chicago Blackhawks winning their first Stanley Cup in 49 years that he loses his composure. I can respect players who gave their all for the team and I believe Roenick was one of those guys during his playing days. Plus he was a hell of a threat from the right wing in EA Sports NHL 93. Only one of the greatest video games of all-time. Don't even try to argue it. Here is the video courtesy of The Big Lead...



And by the way the only time you are allowed to cry in sports is because you are so happy. It's like seeing the birth of your kid. Crying allowed. Losing a game you are not allowed. Man up.

I LOVE THE TASTE OF SANCTIONS IN THE MORNING

Photo courtesy of AJC.com

The LATimes is reporting that the NCAA will hand the USC Trojans a 2 year bowl ban and a reduction of 20 scholarships. Ahhhh....what sweet justice it is....

A two-year bowl ban and a loss of more than 20 football scholarships are among the sanctions that the NCAA has dealt USC, a source with knowledge of the situation said Wednesday.

The NCAA, the governing body for collegiate sports, informed USC of its decision after a four-year investigation regarding allegations centered on former football player Reggie Bush and former basketball player O.J. Mayo. The NCAA could make its decision public as early as today.

It took almost 4 years but it looks like the NCAA woke up and did the right thing. Listen I get it that a lot of major football programs bend the rules and have "excessive practice time" and "players get paid on the side" and most of these "student" athletes don't in fact go to class or even take their tests. But the way USC just blatantly told the NCAA to F off for all these years in regards to the obvious infractions caused by the Bush and Mayo cases and then to go out and hire a snake like Lane Kiffin makes everything they got worth it in my opinion.

Now all the players on the team can transfer without penalty of sitting out a year because of the infractions. You hear me Seantrel Henderson and Kyle Prater. These 5 star athletes can transfer almost immediately from my understanding and can play next season under NCAA rules. Notre Dame, UCLA, and Cal could always use an extra tackle or wide receiver. I'm just saying guys you might want to take a look.

Only if you want to take a pay cut. Consider it pro bono work and getting an actual education before you go to the NFL.

THE DOMINOES ARE STARTING TO FALL: NEBRASKA TO THE BIG TEN BY FRIDAY?

With all the rumors and innuendo going around the college football landscape about conference realignment it's hard to distinguish what is actually got validity and what is bull shit. This report from the Omaha.com seems to have an element of truth...

An executive at a Big 12 school relayed to The World-Herald on Tuesday that he expects Nebraska to become a member of the Big Ten as early as Friday.
NU Chancellor Harvey Perlman has declined all interviews about conference realignment and expansion. He is expected to address the topic with the Board of Regents at its Friday meeting in Lincoln.

Direct confirmation from Nebraska of a conference change for the Huskers wasn't immediately available. Sources at two other Big 12 schools told The World-Herald that their athletic directors have instructed them to be ready by week's end for a briefing on probable Big 12 changes.
Nebraska A.D. Tom Osborne offered implicit confirmation Tuesday night that the timetable on national conference realignment has been accelerated.

On his monthly appearance on the Husker Sports Network, Osborne said:

“I think before too long — I don't know exactly what that time frame is — we'll be able to put this to bed,'' then he jokingly added, “because I'm getting tired of it.''

Fuck yeah! I'm excited about change in the college football world. The Big 10/11 will now have 12 teams and will surely look to add 4 more after Nebraska switches. My hope is Notre Dame follows suit and switches to the conference. Give it up ND folks. It's beyond time to join a conference because the schedule will get watered down with shit opponents. Then every conference goes bat shit crazy and looks to swoop in and get schools before they fall like Roman Empire. The SEC should get Texas and Oklahoma from the Big 12. Make it happen. The PAC 10 should try to get Texas A&M, Utah, BYU, Boise State, TCU and Colorado. The Big 10 can go after Kansas and Pittsburgh among others.

Nebraska will get the ball rolling on Friday...hopefully. Everything else will fall in place. Now we just need a playoff system.

STRASBURG FOR PRESIDENT!

With keeping in the StrasburgCrack.com theme we got this week this story was sent in to us by loyal reader John McPeters. I thought it was worth the read. Check it out....

OK, look, maybe President is ridiculous, but I wouldn’t put it past ESPN to endorse it. Call me a cynic, but let’s get one thing straight, Stephen Strasburg’s debut was impressive to say the least, but come one, how much hype can one kid live up to. Yes, his fastball topped at 103 MPH and he was consistently clocked at 95 MPH and above. Strasburg’s change up was clocked as high as 91 MPH and his “slurve” (slow curve for those of you who are not hip to the baseball lingo) dropped another 10 MPH to 81 MPH. Simply stated… sick. Here’s my issue, the kid has had 11 professional appearances before being promoted to the Majors. He’s had 1 start. Let me repeat this, 1 start which was his first time pitching past the 6th inning as a professional. His first major league start was against the Pittsburgh Pirates, the perennial cellar team in the NL Central, known more for trading franchise players than hitting above the Mendoza Line. Even before his start, ESPN was practically giving away the Rookie of the Year award when he got drafted. I’m all about giving credit where credit is due, but dubbing this kid the future of baseball before his first start is a bit much. Let’s be realistic for a minute, barring injury, Strasburg no doubt has the tools to become one of the greatest pitchers of all time, but what if he doesn’t. I can think of quite a few “busts” with all the hype in the world who have seemingly fizzled out of the limelight.

How about “the Natural” Jeff Francouer. Atlanta’s own beloved “Frenchy” was a high school legend in both football and baseball, the hometown kid tore up the minor leagues. After a big league call up, Jeff batted .300 with 14 homers and 45 RBIs in his first 70 games. Not bad for a 21 year old, actually, not bad for anyone. In his first full year, “Frenchy” played in 162 games, batting .260 with 29 homers and 103 RBIs. In his second full year, Jeff hit .293 with 19 homers and 105 RBIs seemingly cementing the hype surrounding his nickname and proving his high school legend was all but a fluke. In 2008, Jeff was sent back to the minors by his beloved hometown team to get his head right and finished the season batting .239 with 11 home runs and 79 RBIs. His poor plate discipline got him traded to the New York Mets where he has seemingly had somewhat of a resurgence, the “future face of the Braves organization” was quickly “shaved clean” after not living up to his enormous billing.

“King” Felix Hernandez was dubbed the Lebron James of baseball. Called up in 2005 after being billed as unhittable, went 4-4 with a respectable 2.67 ERA. Since then he’s had one, I repeat, one dominant season. In 2008, Felix went 19-5 with a 2.49 ERA and 217 Ks in 238 innings. His combined record in just over 5 major league seasons is 61-46 with a lifetime ERA of 3.48. Not bad numbers, but my definition of unhittable would not include 3 losing seasons with ERAs in each of his season hovering around 4.00. I’m not faulting Hernandez at all, he’s definitely become a solid pro pitcher, but his career numbers do not live up to the hype that was.

If you want to cross sports, let’s talk football, Jamarcus Russell, Ryan Leaf, Heath Shuler, Lawrence Phillips and Brian Bosworth, just to name a few consensus busts with all the hype in the world. How about Alexandre Daigle, the #1 overall pick in the NHL draft in 1993 who tallied a whopping 74 goals in 200 games before being traded to a less than stellar career. How’s that for the next “Great One”? Darko Milicic was the #2 overall pick in the 2003 NBA draft. I’d be willing to bet a lot more than my life that the Pistons wish they wouldn’t have passed on Carmello Anthony, Dwayne Wade, Chris Bosh, or Josh Howard, instead of taking Milicic who rode the bench for an incredible career span of 3 years. I would go into Tennis and talk about how Anna Kournikova was the #1 Women’s Junior player and has never reached further than the semi-finals in any grand slam event, but she’s so hot that no one really cares about her athletic ability. Besides, I bought a Cannon, and I can assure you, it wasn’t because of the talking dog in the commercials.

For every single Lebron James, there are at least a dozen Kwame Brown’s. I’m not saying Stephen Strasburg isn’t going to have a stellar pro career and be an exception to the rule, simply saying before we dub him the next coming of Jesus Christ, at least let the guy fill every cup in a sold out stadium full of beer for an entire 9 inning game from a single keg, hover to the mound effortlessly without his feet touching the ground, and throw lightning bolts from his finger tips as the ball is released from his hand. Did the Nationals provide baseball with a shot in the arm when signing Strasburg? Of course, and hopefully, “the Phenom” will attract more fans to the sport I’ve come to love. Let’s just hope Strasburg doesn’t give baseball fans everywhere the “Barry Bonds treatment”, opening everyone’s eyes in the immediate future and letting a nation of devoted fans down once reality sinks in. So before we concede the Cy Young, MVP, Rookie of the Year, All Star, and Hall of Fame achievements to Strasburg, all of which he will seemingly accomplish after his second start in the MLB, let’s let the kid enjoy his time and actually earn all of the praise. As a final thought, I’m casting my vote for Bryce Harper on my 2010 Heisman ballot. After all, isn’t Harper’s immense talent the real reason why Tebow was crying during his final game at Florida?

Honestly I could not have said it myself better. Thanks John for the email! Oh yeah, I hope everybody is ready for the "Terrelle Pryor for Heisman" hype that ESPN will be spouting off this college football season. I mean after all he was the #1 prospect out of high school so we have to hype him as the next great phenom right?

FURTHER PROOF AMERICA'S HAT ARE NUTS

First they unleash Bryan Adams on us. Then Celine Dion. And if that wasn't enough now this garbage in regards to sportsmanship...

A Canadian youth soccer league is taking heat after introducing a new rule that says any team that wins a game by more than five points will actually lose by default.

The rule, intended to foster sportsmanship, replaced the Gloucester Dragons Recreational Soccer league’s former five-point mercy regulation, which said any points scored beyond a five-point differential would not be registered, the National Post reported.

But some players and parents say the new rule will only keep these children from reaching their full potential as players and coddle sore losers.

“They should be saying anything is possible. If we can get five goals really fast, well, so can the other team,” player Kevin Cappon, 17, told the Post. "People grow in adversity… I think you’ll see more leadership skills being used if a losing team tries to recuperate than if they never got into that situation at all.”

Coppon’s father, Bruce Cappon, agreed.


“Heaven forbid when these kids get into the real world. They won’t be prepared to deal with the competition out there,” he told the Post.

The league has 3,000 children ranging from four to 18 years old.

According to the new rules, coaches are encouraged to take measures like making players kick with their weaker foot, moving players out of their usual positions, or taking players off the field entirely if they have a strong team, the Post reported.

Club director Sean Cale told the Post the league is simply trying to make the game fair and that the new rule will eventually be replaced by a pre-season skill assessment to make fair teams, the Post reported.

I mean come on Canada. This is beyond ridiculous. It's called a sport because you have to compete to win it. There are losers in anything with competition and all you are doing is fostering future pansies. No wonder you guys almost lost to us in hockey. Sack up and give these kids some motivation to excel. I swear to God one kid is going to get hit in the head with a ball and soon all the kids will be wearing bike helmets on the soccer field.

I think it's time for America to take over Canada. Don't worry. They won't fight back. It's unsportsmanlike.

Article HT: Dave

STRASBURG ELECTRIFIES IN DEBUT

Video courtesy of TheBigLead

Ignore everything I said yesterday about Stephen Strasburg. The kid looks like the real deal. His 14 strikeouts in his major league debut was one short of a Major League record and it set a Nationals team record for K's in a game. His fastball was touching 100 mph. His "slurve" was buckling kneecaps and brought back memories of Kerry Wood in 1997. His changeup was in the low 90's. THE LOW 90'S. Absolutely fucking ridiculous.

I know the Pittsburgh Pirates are about as far away from being a juggernaut hitting club but what Strasburg did was come into a game in which he should have been feeling overwhelmed from all the attention and hype and simply took all that energy and mowed them down with relative ease. The way his pitches moved in the strike zone was similar to Pedro Martinez back in the late 90's. He puts a lot of torque into his motion and gets a ton of movement. If he stays healthy and it appears the Nats are intent on keeping him on a strict pitch count than he can be one of the best. If he stayed in the game last night he might have struck out 20 guys the way he was coasting. I have little doubt he could be up there with the Jimenez, Lincecum, Halladays and Greinkes of the pitching world this year.

But then again it was just one game. Let's see how hitters do against him now that there is some what of a scouting report on him. He will face the Cleveland Indians next which shouldn't be a huge problem but I would love to see how he does against the Braves, Phillies, Dodgers, and so on lineups who have more balance from 1-8 in the order.

In short: Strasburg is fucking legit! Now everyone get on your knees for him.

HEY EVERYBODY, DID YOU HEAR STRASBURG IS PITCHING TONIGHT?

Holy shit I get it ESPN! The kid is the greatest thing to hit the majors since Jason Heyward, Tommy Hanson, Mark Prior, and Ben McDonald combined. I don't give a shit! Let him pitch a fucking game before you start calling him Jesus (which has been trademarked by Strasburg's attorney no doubt). Listen, I think he is going to be good. But right now he isn't Ubaldo Jimenez. That is the guy you should be doing specials on. He has been lights out all year in the MAJORS. Not minor league ball.

Stephen Strasburg may be the greatest thing since Jimenez or Lincecum or Greinke or whatever but can we please wait and see what he does against the lowly Pirates before putting him on a pedestal? I admit I get a little caught up in these prospects. As you know I got caught up with some kid who hammers pitches out of the ballpark with their first swing. And guess what that got me? Well you know what it is because I'm afraid to even mention his name without being served.

Will you be watching Strasburg pitch tonight? I love baseball so I most certainly will but I'm doubting 90% of the rest of the country even knows who he is. They think it's a German town. Hell Hitler didn't get this much coverage.

But then again he can't throw 103 mph.

Sigh.

*image courtesy of TrueBall

WHAT A SWEET MET'S FAN

I tell you what, this guy clearly has a heart of gold. David Wright was obviously throwing the ball to the grown man's kid and not the little kid with the oversized glove it was going directly to. Because if you have watched Wright this season you would know how far off his intended throws have been so far. It's like he has vertigo.



Video HT: Extra Mustard

PHILLIES FANS DRINK AT AN EARLY AGE

Not only do they taser each other and vomit on young kids but now they even let their little kids slug back beers at the fucking games. No wonder the Phillies are sucking ass this year. They let David Eckstein drink when everyone knows the little guy can't hold his shit together.


What the fuck is next Phillies fans? You going to piss on an old lady? How about Dirty Sanchezing Utley's wife? Or you can slip Charlie Manuel some Viagra so we can see the old guy rock hard while arguing about balls and strikes. Go on. Do it. It's in your DNA.

Sincerely,

Bravos fan who is enjoying first place.

NEWS REPORTER BLOOPER

See how easy it is kids? All you need is a hammer, a camera crew, a junkyard, an unlocked car, and a gashed hand and you too could be a thief this summer. Happy stealing!

THE IRON SHEIK IS NOT A JIM JOYCE FAN

BarStoolSports has this video of The Iron Sheik laying it out on umpire Jim Joyce. Back in the day I use to love watching Hulk Hogan make the Sheik look like a little bitch. I even had the action figurines and the ring. Yep, I was pretty much a loser who played wrestling with guy dolls. By the way, are those skis in the background? I never took the Iron Sheik as a skier. He seems more like a Turkish wrestling type of guy.

NOTRE DAME LINEBACKER STEVE FILER IS ATHLETIC, CAN JUMP OUT OF POOLS

Notre Dame starting* outside linebacker Steve Filer displays his amazing athleticism by not only jumping out of a pool which appears to be 5 feet deep but also doing it while somebody holds the camera sideways. Seriously, how hard is it to hold the camera upright? Filer clearly has NEO like skills and hopefully his freakish athleticism will translate to the gridiron this fall. With Filer, Manti "Hawaiian Hitman" Te'o, Darius Fleming, Anthony McDonald, and Brian Smith all looking like potential starters this season the Fighting Irish should have a solid group of LB's with a ton of experience and most importantly speed. You can't teach speed and I would venture to say this could be the fastest if not most athletic linebacker core since the mid 90's in South Bend.

*=I'm guessing he will start this season over Brian Smith or Darius Fleming

YOU WILL BE MISSED KEN GRIFFEY JR

Ken Griffey Jr. announced today that he has retired. "The Kid" is now 40 years old which makes me feel old. He had the sweetest swing in the game and I believe is the greatest player of my generation. He never got his World Series ring but he did finish his career with 630 home runs which is 4th on the all-time list (Hank Aaron, Babe Ruth, and Willie Mays count; Bonds doesn't) and he played the game hard for most of his career before injuries started to plague him.

He ran into walls. He wore his hat backwards. He swung effortlessly. He smiled and enjoyed playing the game better than anybody. He had the most famous baseball card of the past 60 years. His swing was emulated by kids who wanted to be him. He's a first ballot Hall of Famer and without a doubt a living legend. A bronze statue needs to go up immediately in Seattle.

You will be missed Kid. See you in Cooperstown in 5 years.

ARMANDO GALARRAGA GOT HIS PERFECT GAME STOLEN BY HANDLE BAR MUSTACHE GUY

This should have been the 21st perfect game in Major League history and yet it all got taken away as handle bar mustache guy stole it from Armando Galarraga. Even if the runner ties there you call him out. I'm literally shaking as I type this. I can't believe the umpire just stole a perfect game by making one of the shittiest calls ever.

This further proves that umpires aren't people. They are heartless pricks with bad facial hair. And they go by the name of Jim Joyce. I would be shocked if he makes it out of Detroit alive. It would be on par with a girl surviving a date with Joran van der Sloot. Odds are you're dead.

By the way Don Denkinger says "Thank you!"

JIMENEZ IS STRAIGHT NASTY

IMAGE FROM GETTING IMAGES

Ubaldo Jimenez threw his second shutout of the season by out dueling The Freak Tim Lincecum 4-0 to become the Major's first 10 game winner. He just lowered his ERA to 0.78 while extending his scoreless innings streak to 26. This Dominican hurler is bringing back memories of Pedro in his prime.

At just 26 years old Jimenez has completely come into his own while pitching half his games in Coors Field which has been known to kill many of young pitcher's confidence. He already has a no-hitter and is on pace to win 32 games (yeah I know there is no way he wins that many but it is still fun to look at the projections) and has been by far the best pitcher in the game this year despite the exploits of Doc Halladay. Opponents are only hitting .172 against him.

The kid is fucking nasty. Plain and simple. Just give him the Cy Young now.

FIRST PLACE LOOKS AND FEELS GOOD

AJC PHOTO BY JASON GETZ

It's June 1st and the Atlanta Braves sit in first place for the first time at this stage in the season since 2005. They finished off a 20-8 May with a convincing 9-3 victory over the Phillies thanks to the bats finally heating up.

Bobby Cox and Frank Wren deserve some credit. Usually I give them more shit than they probably deserve but I figured why not point out some of the great things they have done this season. Wren's signing of Troy Glaus to a one year contract for pocket change has to be one of the best moves in the offseason. Glaus hit his 8th homer of the season, a 3 run shot in the 8th, which proved to be the final nail in the coffin. He now has 8 homers and 37 RBI's and is starting to resemble the prototypical cleanup hitter he was in Anaheim. For $1.75 million this year I would say Wren has knocked it out of the ballpark with this signing.

Bobby deserves some credit too for shuffling his lineup. The Braves started scoring more runs when they realized they should put their most consistent hitter all season in Martin Prado at the leadoff spot. Prado isn't going to steal you bases but he is going to get on base at an extremely better rate than Melky and Nate would. He has been a doubles machine this year and I believe without a doubt he deserves to make his first All-Star appearance.

Bobby also put Heyward at the top of the lineup. We all know about how great Heyward has been this season ever since his first swing. The kid is a beast and has earned his way the right way by crushing the ball pretty much every game. He also is deserving of getting an All-Star selection and hopefully the fans start to punch his name on the ballot by the millions since he has been the story of baseball (with a hat tip to Ubaldo Jimenez) through the first 50 games. As a 20 year old The J-Hey Kid has lived up to all the heavy expectations bestowed upon him in Spring Training and for the most part him and Prado carried the Braves offense through April. The good news is he can go 0 for 5 and yet the Braves can still manage to put 9 runs on the board now. This wasn't the case 3-4 weeks ago.

Cox has also gone with the hot hands in Eric Hinske and Omar Infante. Hinske has crushed all season and deserves to start in left field. He might not have the defensive range as Melky in left but with McLouth covering so much ground in center the trade off in minuscule. I've become a big Hinske fan and Wren all deserves credit for picking him up for cheap. The players seem to really like the guy and you can see why he has been a part of a club who has made the last 3 World Series.

The bats of Chipper, McCann, and Escobar are heating up. All of these guys are way too good to be struggling like they have through the first 40 games of the season and if you look at their career seasonal averages then you would expect them all to have great second halves. I'm still not giving TP any credit though. Sorry.

Also got to give credit for the Tim Hudson resigning. Hudson has been the ace this year. I've always been a big Huddy fan and it's great to see him back healthy for once and resembling those A's days when he would mow down some of the best hitters in the AL at alarming rates. With Huddy, Big Red Hanson, and the eventual return of Jair Jurrjens you have three of the best pitchers in the National League. Lowe could still be a money pitcher especially if they make the playoffs. Kawakami is questionable but his performance on Sunday was outstanding and as a 5th starter you won't be able to find many others who can match his stuff even though the 1 victory is cause for concern.

Overall I would say Cox and Wren have done an excellent job of piecing together this club. I know it's still early with 111 games to go but I like the way this team is meshing together. They seem to all be on the same page and pulling for each other and have a good collection of veterans (Chipper, Huddy, Lowe, etc.) and young studs (Heyward, Hanson, Escobar) that have one common goal in the end: Send Bobby back to the playoffs for one last hurrah!

Go Bravos!

RON ARTEST WITH THE WINNING SHOT

I think about 99% of the Lakers crowd that Kobe was going to nail the winning shot and that is the reason why Ron Artest was left open with the rebound and game winning putback. The Suns knew Kobe would take the shot. He makes them most of the time anyways. But the gritty Artest pulled a little Dennis Rodman out of his hat and got in position for the board and the put back. Money. Now we got to wait and see if the Lakers and the Celtics can close out these Conference Finals and give us a rematch of the NBA Finals from two seasons ago. I personally want to see them play even though I usually root for the underdog. I like the Suns. I hate the Magic. But there is little doubt the Lakers vs. Celtics would be fun to watch for most of the nation.

Video HT: TheBigLead

GOLDEN TATE SINGING TAYLOR SWIFT

It would be tough to argue that Golden Tate was the most exciting player to wear the blue and gold since Rocket was returning kicks for TDs back in the day and as you all know I'm a huge fan of Golden. The football player. The singer not so much. It's still killing me that the Atlanta Falcons passed up the chance to take a playmaker like Golden and now I got to hear him sing Taylor Swift. Why don't you just go ahead and dig that fork in me a little more.

Oh yeah, I'm going on record now stating that Golden will absolutely crush it in the NFL. The kid flat out makes plays when the ball is in his hands and in my mind he plays identical to Carolina's Steve Smith. He might not be the tallest wideout but his speed, hands, balance, and toughness make him stand out on the football field. He will be a football star in Seattle.

PASSED OUT DRUNK

You know it's bad when some fat dude in an Old Navy shirt is making fun of you. If that were me and God and plenty of my friends know I have been there before and this was caught on tape and shown to the world then I would never pick up another beer. For at least a couple of days. Because once chubbies start making fun of your drinking then you know it's time to take a break from the booze.

Video HT: BarstoolSports

HAIL TO THE VIOLATIONS

Rich Rodriguez might just want to tuck his tail and run for cover. Things in Ann Arbor continue to get worse under DickRod's watch. They apparently bend the rules and still can't produce anything close to a winning season for the Maize and Blue...

The school admitted Tuesday to a series of violations by its storied football program and said it had reprimanded seven people, including third-year coach Rich Rodriguez. Another staffer was fired and the school released more than 150 pages detailing a breakdown in communication within the athletic department as well as self-imposed sanctions that include two years of probation.

The school now has to hope that its explanation and sanctions will satisfy the NCAA, which will hold a hearing on the case Aug. 13-14 in Seattle. A final decision isn’t expected for 6-10 weeks later, perhaps sometime during the Big Ten season.

Athletic director David Brandon said he doesn’t believe the problems related to practice time and coaching activities are enough to warrant the loss of scholarships or extreme disgrace.

“I don’t think this is a black eye,” Brandon said. “This is a bruise.”

As if an 8-16 record is not horrid enough now you have the NCAA investigating because you practice a little too much. This isn't a black eye for the football program it's more like a black eye on DickRod. How can you have more coaches allowed and more practice time and yet still suck balls? Michigan was a perennial winner before Rodriguez got his filthy West Virginia hands on the program and now they are a laughingstock.

Well it is true that I'm not the biggest Michigan fan but I want to see Michigan at least compete and do it the right way. Nobody likes cheaters except the USC AD. The Michigan football program has a tremendous tradition of always coming in second place to Ohio State in the Big Ten and I think for the good of the conference that needs to come back. In the meantime let's hold hands and sing "HAIL TO THE VIOLATIONS!"

DO NOT TOUCH ME AGAIN

Who knew hospital meetings could be so riveting? The director of community relations aka PR guy for the hospital has a real hands on approach when it comes to dealing with the media. I'm actually shocked the news reporter didn't just flat out slug the guy after he told him to stop. The PR guy continues to come at him like he is some fresh choir boy meat at a Catholic church. If some guy molests you like this PR guy does you have the right to flat out punch him right? The drama in this scenario flat out kills that garbage called Grey's Anatomy.

Video HT: HotClicks

MUST BE A PHILLY FAN

I guess they started letting in those crazy Philly fans into international basketball events. With the Flyers in the Stanley Cup Finals for the first time since 1997 I'm just waiting to see a fan jump over the glass and start harassing one of the Chicago Blackhawks on the bench. It's honestly the only way ESPN will show a highlight of hockey.

MORTAL KOMBAT BUS FIGHT

MORTAL KOMBAT BUS FIGHT - watch more funny videos

I played Mortal Kombat in the arcade probably 1000 times (no shitting you either, I still have that song in my head when I go to sleep) when I was a kid and I still would have gotten my ass kicked by Epic Beard Man. His form is flawless.