RICH RODRIGUEZ IS A GAPING VAGINA WHO CRIES TO JOSH GROBAN SONGS

If Michigan needed any further proof that Rich Rodriguez is not a "Michigan man" and was looking for that last bullet to fire the guy besides his god awful 15-21 record since he stepped foot in Ann Arbor then last night he delivered it. He cried. Again. At a football banquet. In front of everybody. And made references to the Bible and Josh Groban as inspiration. Holy shit this guy is a complete dicknugget.

Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez fought back tears, talking about the toll his job has taken on his family, and used passages from the Bible and a Josh Groban song during an emotional address that closed the team's banquet.
"I truly want to be a Michigan man," he said Thursday.

You know who listens to Josh Groban and make references to the Bible? 10 year old girls who have just had their first period. Rodriguez is gradually moving from incompetent head football coach at a major university to becoming a woman. Congrats to Michigan on hiring a guy who hadn't even hit puberty yet.

It's time for Michigan to cut the cord here. The bleeding vagina can no longer be tolerated. But at least he has his Joshy Poo to listen to in this upcoming time of need...



What a fucking whore!

THIS SHIT CAN'T BE REAL: CAMERA IMPLANTED IN BACK OF THE HEAD

What the fuck? I thought professors just banged the shit out of their 20 year old co-eds but little did I know they were actually getting cameras put in their fucking head. My bad. I thought everything was kind of normal in this world besides politics and religion. Fuck I was wrong.

LEBRON JAMES PREGAME IN CLEVELAND

Since I completely missed the "Lebron's return to a franchise he carried for 7 seasons on his back" game including the all important pregame introduction I figured I would give you the chance to see the "electricity" of Cleveland. I honestly had no idea people cared this much about the NBA before tonight. This is in fucking Cleveland. Holy shit! Imagine if Dunkin Donuts left in the middle of the night like the Mayflower trucks in Baltimore. There would be looting, rioting, and pillaging in the streets right now. Drew Carey would shit in his pants.



I'm kind of disappointed. It's not like I was openly rooting for a Monica Seles moment but I wouldn't have minded one deranged fan getting tasered at center court. Give me something Cleveland. I guess they only do that kind of shit in Philadelphia. Oh well. This will probably be my one and only Cleveland post in the next 10 years. Thank god.

CAM NEWTON SONG 6'6 250

"Will Smith is getting edgy with age!" - quotes white balding male

UGA Making Changes After All

Though this isn't official, I've heard UGA is making a few changes to their program. From what I can gather, Joe Tereshinski will be taking over as the Director of the Strength and Conditioning Program and John Kasay Sr. will be hired as an assistant to Joe T. Thanks Seth for the rocking Bulldogs Blog and the insight into the program. Check out The Bulldogs Blog here for a more in depth look at the changes supposedly being implemented starting January 1, 2011.

NOTRE DAME SECURES THE PERFECT SPREAD QB IN EVERETT GOLSON

Notre Dame just landed their quarterback of the future with the commitment of Everett Golson who will also be an early enrollee next month. The last time Notre Dame landed an athletic dual threat quarterback from South Carolina was some guy named Tony Rice. You may have heard of him.

WPDE Sports has learned that Myrtle Beach quarterback Everett Golson has de-committed from the University of North Carolina and will play college football at Notre Dame. Notre Dame had a home visit with Golson on Wednesday and that was when the decision was made.

Golson was an early commitment to North Carolina during his junior year, but with NCAA sanctions looming, the Seahawks quarterback reopened his recruiting. He made an official visit to Notre Dame when the Fighting Irish upset Utah in November.

Golson was invited to the Nike Elite 11 Quarterback camp and is a finalist for South Carolina's Mister Football. He has 22 TD passes and just one INT in six games of action in his senior campaign. Golson suffered a leg and wrist injury in week two, but has returned to the Seahawks in the playoffs and has guided Myrtle Beach to the 3A state championship game for the third straight year.

Golson was a four year starter at Myrtle Beach. He stands a little over 6 feet (think more Drew Brees/Charlie Ward like) and is extremely quick and accurate with his throws. Plus he can run. Brian Kelly got the perfect QB for his system! My condolences go out to Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, Michigan, Ohio State, Stanford and North Carolina for losing out to Kelly on this kid.

NEED PROOF USC IS FULL OF SHITBIRDS? WELL THEN CHECK OUT TEAGUE EGAN

Hey brah, how fucking "crucial" is it to have cranberry juice as a chaser for Grey Goose? Jesus H. Christ, is this dickhead on his fucking period or does he just have a giant vagina written all over his face? And what is up with the fucking projection screen? You got a golf cart but you can't dish out some "1st Round Records" money on a plasma. What an asshole! The only thing cool this kid has in his "pad" is his kegerator. If you are in college it is essential to have one. And Valtrex.

This Teague Egan lad is the same kid who got USC RB Dillon Baxter in trouble for riding him around on his golf cart while handing out roofies, I mean brochures for his business. I'm actually kind of shocked Teague didn't have time to show us his rape room. Teague is the type of character Dexter enjoys giving a midnight ride on his Slice of Life charter. It's good to see the culture has changed so much at USC since they have been put on sanctions. You already have Athletic Director and President of the Ultimate Combover Club Pat Haden bitching about how Auburn got off in the Cam Newton fiasco and how it's not fair. It's hysterical since he has Lane Kiffin roaming the sidelines like a recently released pedophile in a windowless cargo van.

God damn USC makes me sick. I'm just glad Notre Dame whooped their ass and nobody on their campus actually gives a shit about the football program anymore. Even Will Ferrell is embarrassed to call himself a Trojan now. I'm pretty sure I saw him wearing one of those Scoregon shirts the other day.

Campus cribs video via The Big Lead

LEBRON JAMES RETURN TO CLEVELAND: THE ODDS

If you haven't heard Lebron Benedict Arnold James returns to Cleveland tonight with his barely .500 Miami Heat squad. It's the first time since Albert Belle returned with the White Sox that a player who was once revered by the home team is now clearly public enemy #1 in Cleveland. It should be interesting. Not really. It's regular season NBA action. It's about as relevant as Derek Jeter's Gold Gloves. Anyways here are some odds on his return in case you are interested in losing some money since investing in good old fashion hooker spit has been paying off for you lately.

These odds come via BoDog.com:

LeBron James Total Points vs. Cleveland: Over/Under 26.5
Will LeBron James have a physical altercation with a fan? Yes 30/1
Will LeBron James do his pregame chalk ritual: Yes 1/50
Matt Fairchild will actually watch any part of the game other than the pregame introductions: 1 billion/1

CAM NEWTON OFFICIALLY DECLARED ELIGIBLE

Image courtesy of AJC.com

According to NCAA.org Cam Newton has been cleared of all charges of impropriety by the NCAA and is free and clear to play. In other words you can stamp Cam Newton on the Heisman Trophy and give Auburn the National Championship in about...oh...5 weeks from now.

Here is the official release...

Auburn University football student-athlete Cam Newton is immediately eligible to compete, according to a decision today by the NCAA student-athlete reinstatement staff. The NCAA concluded on Monday that a violation of amateurism rules occurred, therefore Auburn University declared the student-athlete ineligible yesterday for violations of NCAA amateurism rules.

When a school discovers an NCAA rules violation has occurred, it must declare the student-athlete ineligible and may request the student-athlete’s eligibility be reinstated. Reinstatement decisions are made by the NCAA national office staff and can include conditions such as withholding from competition and repayment of extra benefits. Newton was reinstated without any conditions.

According to facts of the case agreed upon by Auburn University and the NCAA enforcement staff, the student-athlete’s father and an owner of a scouting service worked together to actively market the student-athlete as a part of a pay-for-play scenario in return for Newton’s commitment to attend college and play football. NCAA rules (Bylaw 12.3.3) do not allow individuals or entities to represent a prospective student-athlete for compensation to a school for an athletic scholarship.

In conjunction with the case, Auburn University has limited the access Newton’s father has to the athletics program and Mississippi State has disassociated the involved individual.

“The conduct of Cam Newton’s father and the involved individual is unacceptable and has no place in the SEC or in intercollegiate athletics,” said Mike Slive, Southeastern Conference Commissioner. “The actions taken by Auburn University and Mississippi State University make it clear this behavior will not be tolerated in the SEC.”

“Our members have established rules for a fair and equal recruitment of student-athletes, as well as to promote integrity in the recruiting process,” said Kevin Lennon, NCAA vice president for academic and membership affairs. “In determining how a violation impacts a student-athlete’s eligibility, we must consider the young person’s responsibility. Based on the information available to the reinstatement staff at this time, we do not have sufficient evidence that Cam Newton or anyone from Auburn was aware of this activity, which led to his reinstatement. From a student-athlete reinstatement perspective, Auburn University met its obligation under NCAA bylaw 14.11.1. Under this threshold, the student-athlete has not participated while ineligible.”

“We are pleased that the NCAA has agreed with our position that Cam Newton has been and continues to be eligible to play football at Auburn University,” Auburn University Director of Athletics Jay Jacobs said. “We appreciate the diligence and professionalism of the NCAA and its handling of this matter. “

During the reinstatement process, NCAA staff review each case on its own merits based on the specific facts. Staff decisions are made based on a number of factors including guidelines established by the Division I NCAA Committee on Student-Athlete Reinstatement, as well as any mitigating factors presented by the university.

Reinstatement decisions are independent of the NCAA enforcement process and typically are made once the facts of the student-athlete’s involvement are determined. The reinstatement process is likely to conclude prior to the close of an investigation. It is NCAA policy not to comment on current, pending or potential investigations.

There you go. Case closed. Nothing to see here. Moving on.

JUST CURIOUS, WHERE IS THE NATIONAL OUTRAGE OVER THE RANDY SHANNON FIRING?

From the AP...

His voice nearly cracking, Miami athletic director Kirby Hocutt somberly laid out some of the many reasons why Randy Shannon was right for the Hurricanes.
The academic success. Improved recruiting classes. His decades as part of the Miami family.
Then there were 22 reasons that Hocutt couldn't ignore — the games Miami lost under Shannon. In the end, those carried more weight than anything else.

I'm just going to go ahead and point out how ridiculous the media can be when it comes to issues such as racism. About 6 years ago Notre Dame got hammered by the media for firing head coach Tyrone Willingham after only 3 seasons. His record was about the same as Randy Shannon's in Miami and he graduated players too. But Notre Dame was blasted by media personalities such as John Saunders, Mike Wilbon, Mark May, and Jason Whitlock for firing a minority coach before his contract was up. The University of
Miami just did the same thing to Shannon. He took them to 3 bowl games in 4 seasons.

But you won't hear a peep about it because it doesn't involve Notre Dame.

Why is that you ask? Because those 4 media assholes I mentioned earlier now realize they were wrong about the Willingham firing. It had nothing to do with Willingham's skin pigmentation. It had everything to do with the L's on his resume. And the constant golf outings. And now they realize the Shannon firing had nothing to do with him being a minority coach or being able to run a clean program or graduate his kids. In the end all that matters is the wins and losses on your resume.

Unless you lock the son of an ESPN personality in a storage locker. All bets are off then.

BRUCE PEARL CALLS LANE KIFFIN A DUMBASS

From the mouth of Tennessee basketball coach Bruce Pearl to a crowd of people gathered at a Knoxville Quarterback Club:

"I've made mistakes, I clearly did, but what I was hoping for was that some other dumbass would get on the front page and take me off the hook,'' Pearl said. "I miss Lane Kiffin.''

Talk about delivering an all-time zinger. I mean wow. I didn't realize someone as sleazy as Pearl could be so damn funny. Outstanding.

ALABAMA'S LATEST CAM NEWTON "BUYING A TIGER" VIDEO

I gotta hand it to the Bammers out there. The video is funny and ironic. Just to think a Bama fan made it out of Wal-Mart alive to produce such a masterpiece is an accomplishment in itself. I can only imagine the amount of rumors we will hear leading up to Cam Newton winning the Heisman Trophy next week. And God forbid if Auburn actually wins the whole thing. Bama Nation would be on suicide watch.

THE NFL IS RIDICULOUS WITH THEIR FINES

JAMES HARRISON'S HIT ON RYAN FITZPATRICK EQUALS A $25,000 FINE


VERSUS

ANDRE JOHNSON'S RIPPING OFF THE HELMET AND PUNCHING AN OPPOSING PLAYER FACE EQUALS A $25,000 FINE


I guess I will it leave up to you the commentator what you view as the more malicious and deserving of a fine. The NFL is getting beyond ridiculous with their fines for players making clean tackles. Pittsburgh's James Harrison made a clean hit on Bill's QB Ryan Fitzpatrick just as he delivered the ball. Some will say he lead with his helmet but what the fuck is he suppose to do? Tackle with his black mamba? Texan's Andre Johnson deliberately ripped off Cortland Finnegan's helmet and punched the living shit out of him. I've heard Finnegan is a Grade A douchebag but how can you fine Harrison and Johnson the same amount when the intention was so different? Harrison I would argue is playing within the game. It's football and he was making a tackle. Unfortunately for him the NFL views any significant late hit on the QB as malicious even if it's a Buffalo QB. Johnson went berserk and should have been thrown out of the game.

Richard Seymour last week deliberately punched Ben Roethlisberger and yet he got fined only $25,000!


The NFL has their priorities all screwed up. This isn't hockey. If you punch someone deliberately you should be fined extensively and suspended. I'm talking a game's paycheck and not .5 of 1% of their yearly salary.

Or maybe the NFL knows that guys like Finnegan and Roethlisberger deserve a good punch every once in a while and will look the other way when it comes to supposedly "good guys" such as Andre Johnson and Richard Seymour deliver these punches. The NFL has set up their fine structure in terms of perception. Harrison's NFL perception is of a head hunter and even when he kisses the QB's vagina such as Fitzpatrick they are just waiting to fine him.

R.I.P LESLIE NIELSEN AKA FRANK DREBIN

This shit still makes me crackle like a little girl. Hilarious. Frank Drebin will be missed. Somewhere in Heaven he is calling strikes.

SOME BCS BOWL PERSPECTIVE FOR OHIO STATE VIA THE BIG LEAD

Little Sisters of the Poor: Ohio State plays very fine schools on any given Saturday. Marshall, Ohio, Eastern Michigan. Fine schools, all of them. According to Sagarin, the Buckeyes currently have a lower schedule strength rating (64) than Boise State (62). Boise State has a 2-1 record against teams currently in the AP Top 25, with wins against Virginia Tech and Hawaii and a heart-breaking, overtime loss to Nevada. Ohio State played one team currently in the AP Top 25, Wisconsin, and got manhandled. Guess which team will be playing in a BCS bowl game? The current system rewards reputation rather than accomplishment, and it is structured to pad and to perpetuate the reputations of already powerful schools.

Thanks to The Big Lead for stating the obvious. There should be an outcry over Ohio State making a BCS Bowl game because simply they didn't beat anybody in the top 25. All year I've heard it from a certain Ohio State fan (my neighbor...haha) that the Boise States and TCUs of the world didn't deserve a spot in one of the BCS Championship games because of their schedule. It's bull shit to point out those teams. Now if you want to point out the Big East Champ or the ACC Champ then fine. Those conferences are weak and don't have one dominating top 10 team in them. But for some people to kick Boise State when they lose a game because their kicker pulls a Ray Finkel is just absurd. Boise State and TCU can hang with the big boys. It's just the big boys are too damn scared to schedule them.

Right now it looks like Wisconsin will play TCU in the Rose Bowl. A matchup of a great offense in Wisconsin (3 times they have run up the score over 70 because their coach is a total dickbag) against the best defense in the country in TCU. It should be a great game.

Don't worry about Ohio State or their dumbass president. They get a BCS Bowl game invitation despite not beating anybody significant all season and getting destroyed by Wisconsin. They got lucky they didn't have to face Michigan State this season. Michigan State should get the invite but the BCS is all about selling tickets and TV so they will pick the Buckeyes. Thank god the Big Ten is finally getting a championship game next season when Nebraska joins the conference. Only it's about 15 years too late for their conference since the SEC has completely blown by them in significance and prestige.

Oh and great job Ohio State crushing Michigan. You could have at least kept it somewhat respectable. Not only did you rip out DickRod's heart once again but you pretty much put the final nail in his dismissal.

NOTRE DAME ENDS THE FUSC STREAK

It's been 9 years since I have woken up the next day after a Notre Dame-USC game and had a smile on my face. God yesterday felt great. My confidence going into the game was just like last year. I thought Notre Dame would win. But I'm so fucking superstitious when it comes to sports especially Notre Dame that I didn't even post a prediction for the game.

My game balls go to Robert Huuuuggghhhheeesss and the Notre Dame defense. Hughes ran like a locomotive Saturday night in a driving rain in Los Angeles. He could not be stopped. It was absolutely beautiful to see a running back take over a game and just will their way to the end zone. It's been a long time since we saw somebody in blue and gold do it. Big props go to the senior in Hughes for getting the monkey off Notre Dame's back. The defense again was absolutely dominating. I'm not sure what in the hell Brian Smith has been eating lately but whatever it is he needs to keep on doing it. The senior middle linebacker has led a resurgence on the Irish D the past 3 games. They have only given up one touchdown and even that was on the offense because they turned the ball over on their own 2 yard line. The defense held USC to under 250 yards and their running game only managed 3.5 yards per carry. Outstanding performance.

Also a big thank you goes to Brian Kelly and the staff. They have dealt with a lot of shit from media and the fans and alumni this year. Most of it was bull shit. To see Kelly smile and defensive coordinator Bob Diaco go ape shit after the game made this Notre Dame fan believe the Irish are definitely going in the right direction. Up.

Now it's on to a bowl game at 7-5. With a possibility of 18 of 22 starters back next season I'm already getting giddy about 2011. With momentum comes recruiting too and I believe they will finish with a top 10 class this season. It should set them up nicely for the future.

Go Irish!

DEREK JETER WANTS $150 MILLION FOR 6 YEARS

$25 million a season for six years for a 37 year old shortstop. Clearly Derek Jeter is all about the pride of playing for the pinstripes and not the zeros in his check. I don't even like the Yankees but I've always had a little bit of respect for Jeter. If I was the owner or GM of the Yankees and his agent came at me with this contract demand I would politely respond with this:

TODAY'S COLLEGE FOOTBALL PICKS

Yesterday if you went with my three NFL picks and my one bonus college game you had perfect 4-0 Thanksgiving Day. You should be rolling in the money. Oh and you are welcome by the way. Nothing but winners here folks so go ahead and roll those winners into today's games.

THE IRON BOWL: AUBURN (+4) AT ALABAMA
Maybe Vegas knows something but I don't understand why Auburn is an underdog. I know it's a hated rivalry game but Auburn is clearly the better team this season. I don't believe we are going to see a letdown game from Cam Newton and company. There is too much riding on this game and from what I have actually seen don't expect Cam to have an off game. Bama is good but too many people think they are still the team from last year. They are not you fuckheads.

Prediction: Auburn 31 Alabama 28

COLORADO (+16.5) AT NEBRASKA
Listen I know Colorado is terrible and they are playing without a head coach and they are going into a very difficult place to play in Lincoln. But I just have this feeling the Buffs will play their best game of the year. Nebraska is in a little bit of turmoil too with Bo Pelini going ape shit on his star quarterback Taylor Martinez last week. Listen up Pelini, without T-Magic you are a very average team. In fact I would say you are just a step over Texas without Martinez. I still think the Cornhuskers win but I don't see them blowing out Colorado.

Prediction: Nebraska 38 Colorado 34

ARIZONA AT OREGON (-19.5)
Holy shit this a huge spread between two good Pac-10 programs. Oregon got a scare a couple of weeks ago vs. Cal and barely survived. They got an off week to prepare for Mike Stoops and the Wildcats. It should help tremendously. Oregon is playing for a spot in the BCS Title game. They are going to run up the score.

Prediction: Scoregon 49 Arizona 20

BOISE STATE (-14.5) AT NEVADA
I don't think this game will be close. The Broncos are too powerful for the Wolfpack and Kellen Moore is going to tear up their defense.

Prediction: Boise State 56 Nevada 13

BONUS NBA PICK: Lakers (-2) over Utah

THANKSGIVING DAY PICKS

Happy Turkey Day everyone! Today is the day we can celebrate being with family and friends* and it's perfectly normal to be completely shit face by 5 pm on a Thursday. God I love the Holidays.

Anyways if you are like me you probably need some extra cash to pay for the delicious Winter 12 pack you just bought when really you should be spending it on the gas bill so you can start taking hot showers again. So here are my NFL Picks for today. Get it while it's hot people.

New England (-7.5) at Detroit
It's a crime the NFL insists on putting Detroit on Turkey Day despite them actually never being good but whatever, it's all those people got. If this game was in New England the Pats would be 13 point favorites easy. Even in Detroit I think Tom Brady goes nuts and throws minimum 4 touchdown passes.

Prediction: Patriots 35 Detroit 21

New Orleans at Dallas (+5)
The Cowboys look like a completely different team with Jason Garrett as the head coach. In other words they don't look like a blind retarded monkey trying to fuck a wet football anymore. These two teams I genuinely don't like because they are the two biggest bandwagon teams in the NFL. Nobody gave a shit about the Saints till last year. Hurricane Katrina...blah blah...Drew Brees...blah blah...the city deserves a championship...blah blah. Fuck em. Fuck em all I say. I'm taking Dallas with the upset.

Prediction: Cowboys 21 Saints 20

Cincinnati at New York Jets (-9.5)
The Bengals are playing god awful football right now. The Jets are one of the 5 best teams in the NFL. It's in New Jersey at night with a bunch of drunk fat Yorkers screaming obscenities at Ocho Cinco. Blowout City.

Prediction: Jets 28 Bungholes 12

Bonus College Football Pick: Texas A&M (-3.5) at Texas
I never thought I would be taking the Aggies on the road in Austin but Texas is fucking terrible this season. I still have no clue how you go from BCS Championship game to being the laughingstock of college football. Texas might have the beer and steers but they play like a bunch of _________.

Prediction: Aggies 35 Texas 20

*=alone with Scotch

Hate Week Pics

Photo C0urtesy of GregPanzer.com

This year's rivalry week seems to be as steamy as ever. Florida vs Florida State may be relevant again, South Carolina vs Clemson is favoring the Cocks, Georgia vs Georgia Tech may be the bowl of the biggest disappointment, and Auburn vs Alabama has huge implications just to talk about a few. This week, I'm going to do less talking and more picking.

Georgia vs Georgia Tech
The annual matchup of the frat boys vs the nerds is favoring the Dawgs by 17.5 last time I checked. Without the Josh "the Heisman" Nesbitt, the Jackets are in trouble. Murray has a week to rest and the Dawgs have to get bowl eligible. Richt is 8 - 1 vs Tech. Look for UGA to continue to run the state of Georgia.

Dawgs 42 vs Tech 20

Iron Bowl
Auburn is looking to go undefeated for the second time in the 2000s and if they are to win this, they won't be overlooked for the National Championship. For all the hype Bama had before the season, Auburn has been the team in Alabama to look like true champions. Look for Cam Newton to continue to play like a man among boys and Auburn to win the Iron Bowl.

Auburn 24 vs Alabama 21

Arizona vs Oregon
I don't think anyone can keep up with "ScOregon". The Quack Attack is fast and very talented. It's going to take a hell of a defensive stand to stop the Ducks and I don't think Arizona has what it takes.

Oregon 45 vs Arizona 17

Boise State vs Nevada
Boise continues it's run and ends this season undefeated yet again. Broncos get a BCS bowl and the Dawgs in the Dome to open next year. Nevada won't be able to keep up with Moore and the Broncos.

Broncos 42 vs Nevada 28

LSU vs Arkansas
LSU is on their way to a one loss season and a BCS bowl game and Petrino's Hogs will not stop the Mad Hatter's crazy luck. The SEC will have two teams in the BCS again this year and both will win no matter who they play. Geaux Tigers!

Tigers 23 vs Hogs 17

Michigan vs Ohio State
Ohio State will put an end to RichRod's tenure in Ann Arbor, thankfully. Let's go Buckeyes!

Michigan 10 vs Ohio State 24

Oklahoma vs Oklahoma State
Landry Jones has been all OU could ask for and Justin Blackmon has given Cowboy's fans a bit of a relief after losing Dez Bryant. This should be a good game, but I think the Sooners have what it takes to pull of the upset.

Sooners 21 vs Cowboys 17

Florida vs Florida State
The Gaytors found something in Trey Burton and it may have saved Steve Adazzio's job. While I don't think Florida is that good this year, I can't see them losing to Florida State. Sorry Noles, I hate picking Gaytors in anything.

Gaytors 31 vs Noles 17

South Carolina vs Clemson
South Carolina finally has the talent to not only compete with, but beat up on in-state rival Clemson. Marcus Lattimore and Alshon Jeffery are too good to be contained. South Carolina sweeps the SEC/ACC challenge with a decisive win.

Cocks 24 vs Tigers 10

COLLEGE FOOTBALL AWARD FINALISTS

With less than 3 games left in the regular season the major college football award selections have officially narrowed down their lists to a final 3. I've watched a ridiculous amount of college gridiron action again this season and if I had a vote these would be my selections. I obviously don't have a vote which is a crime in itself.

Chuck Bednarik Award (best defensive player)
Da’Quan Bowers, Jr., Clemson-Bowers gets my vote. He has twice the amount of sacks and TFL as Fairley but with a lot less fanfare. He will be a top 5 NFL pick.

Nick Fairley, Jr., Auburn-The JUCO transfer has literally been the one bright spot on the Tiger's defense and he has dominated every game I've personally watched. He probably will win the award because Auburn is undefeated but I will still take Bowers over him.

Patrick Peterson, Jr., LSU-Peterson is another incredible talent but I would have to pick Fairley over him as SEC Defensive Player of the Year.

Fred Biletnikoff Award (best receiver)
Justin Blackmon, So., Oklahoma State-Blackmon in a landslide vote. The guy has been incredible and has made Cowboy fans forget about Dez Bryant real quick.

Ryan Broyles, Jr., Oklahoma-I'm not a huge fan of Broyles and I personally think he is more a product of the system but whatever, his stats look great on paper.

Alshon Jeffery, So., South Carolina-Jeffery made some huge clutch catches for the Cocks and benefitted from the AJ Green suspension to earn SEC WR of the year.

Lou Groza Award (best kicker)
Dan Bailey, Sr., Oklahoma State-22-for-25 this season but not perfect.

Danny Hrapmann, Jr., Univ. of Southern Miss.-23-for-25 this season but then again not perfect.

David Ruffer, Sr., Notre Dame-They have to give the award to Ruffer, or Rufner as Tom Hammond always calls him. The walk-on never even played organize football till he tried out for Notre Dame through the intramural program. He is a PERFECT 15-for-15 this season and literally every one of his kicks have been right down the middle. It will be a crime if he doesn't win.

Ray Guy Award (best punter)
Drew Butler, Jr., Georgia-Butler has been a little inconsistent with his punting.

Ryan Donahue, Sr., Iowa-No fucking clue honestly.

Chas Henry, Sr., Florida-With Addazio calling the plays Henry has gotten a ton of work. In fact he deserves to win it and should personally thank Addazio for the piss poor Gators offense.

Maxwell Award (best all-around player)
First off let me say that this is a crying shame that Denard Robinson is not on this list. I hate Michigan but if you have watched college football this year there should be little doubt Robinson is one of if not the best all-around player in the game. He has literally carried Michigan all season and probably saved DickRod's job in Ann Arbor. If they had any defense he would be the Heisman frontrunner. Oh yeah and he is the only guy in college football history to rush for 1500 yards and throw for over 1500 yards in a season. He also is the all-time leading rusher for a QB in one season. Shoelace deserves to be on this list.

Andrew Luck, Jr., Stanford-Luck is the best pure quarterback in the nation. Unfortunately for him Newton is having a better overall season in a tougher defensive conference.

Kellen Moore, Jr., Boise State-Moore is a great player but Shoelace should have been a finalist instead of him.

Cam Newton, Jr., Auburn-Newton has carried Auburn all season. He is their team. Without him Auburn has 4 losses minimum. He deserves the award.

Davey O’Brien Award (best quarterback)
Andrew Luck, So., Stanford-If Luck gets Stanford to the Rose Bowl with an 11-1 record with the only loss being to #1 Oregon then I think he is the best quarterback in the nation and deserves this award. I know it's confusing but if I had to pick one guy who I would want behind center with less than two minutes to go and could drive us down the field for the winning score it would be Luck. Luck is a franchise QB and he has running/scrambling ability.

Kellen Moore, Jr., Boise State-Good for him for being a finalist but I would rather have Newton, Luck and Robinson right now.

Cam Newton, Jr., Auburn-Luck is a better passer in my opinion. Nothing against Newton because the Heisman is basically his but I think Luck is the better QB.

Outland Trophy (best interior lineman)
I can't honestly pick a winner here because I've seen very little of these guys play. So I will just leave it up to you the reader to pick.

Gabe Carimi, Sr., Wisconsin
Rodney Hudson, Sr., Florida State
Nate Solder, Sr., Colorado

Jim Thorpe Award (best defensive back)
Prince Amukamara, Sr., Nebraska-I know I'm going to get some flack from Husker Nation but Prince is kinda overrated. Or maybe he just didn't have a great season. He got burnt a lot.

Tejay Johnson, Sr., TCU-Looked good but it's pretty obvious who wins this award.

Patrick Peterson, Jr., LSU-Without a doubt the winner. Peterson will be the first CB taken in the NFL draft.

Doak Walker Award (best running back)
This has been a rather shitty year for running backs. In fact I would rather take Cam or Shoelace as a running back then any of these three finalists. All of these guys have holes in their games. So in conclusion I don't like any of these guys for the Doak Walker but if I had to pick one I would say....Shoelace.

John Clay, Jr., Wisconsin
Kendall Hunter, Sr., Oklahoma State
LaMichael James, So., Oregon

HEISMAN TOP 5
1. Cam Newton
2. Denard "Shoelace" Robinson
3. Andrew Luck
4. Patrick Peterson
5. Justin Blackmon

UGA vs Boise State in 2011 Season Opener

Photo courtesy of Scout.com and Dean Legge

Bill King's brother summed up next year's, now official, Chick fil a opening kickoff game that matches Georgia vs. Boise State in the Dome. “It will be the first win in an undefeated season,” he responded. “I’ll let you know later as to which team I’m talking about.” - Tim King

I'm not sure that canceling a home and home with Louisville was the best idea. Yes, this gives UGA a more nationally known, and much stronger, opponent than Louisville, but with UGA's last two season, is that really best for the Dawgs? Last year's opening loss to Oklahoma State set the table for an 8 - 5 season. I'm not saying the Dawgs can't handle Boise State, but the looming question is what if they can't?

I've still got my fingers crossed that UGA has a few secret commitments that Coach Richt hasn't let anyone know about. Typically, UGA does have a trick or two up their sleeve, and this year (cough cough Isaiah Crowell cough cough) should be no different in bringing a true play maker to Athens (cough cough Isaiah Crowell cough cough). Maybe the Boise game in the Dome will help with recruiting. Ray Drew, Isaiah Crowell, Malcom Mitchell, Jay Rome, just to name a few, are still on the board and are very high on UGA's wish list.

On top of a great recruiting class, next year's D should be somewhat improved with the addition of Jarvis Jones and Richard Samuel moving to his natural position as a linebacker. Also, year two under Todd Grantham and year two with Aaron Murray should be hugely helpful. Let's all pray Mr. AJ Green himself makes a reappearance in the Red and Black next year to go with Justin Houston staying an extra year to get a full grasp of the 3-4 before heading off to a long and prosperous NFL career himself.

Personally, I'm excited for the Dawgs to get a big game on a big stage. Like Bill King said, "the Broncos haven’t yet beaten an SEC team and will lose some of the talent from their current team, but this isn’t the same Boise State program that D.J. and company throttled 48-13 in Athens back in 2005." But, I think McGarity made a great move. I think he is right for the program and can't wait for the future in Athens.

Check out Bill King's blog at http://blogs.ajc.com/junkyard-blawg/ and GOOOOOO DAWGS!!!

MATTY ICE SHITS ALL OVER THE COMPETITION

Skidmarks image via TheBigLead


Matt Ryan led the Atlanta Falcons to a 34-17 win in the most violent city in the nation in St. Louis and apparently it caused him to shit his pants. Matty Ice is usually cool under pressure but when it comes to the buffets in St. Louis it can cause a little Mississippi River action...

My team cemented the best record in our conference, but just before halftime the pregame buffet caught up with me. Why do we wear white pants again?

Oh Matty you glorious shitter. The Falcons now sit at 8-2 with a huge home game against the Packers this Sunday. The Packers and Falcons are the two best teams in the NFC and whoever wins is in the driver's seat for home field advantage. I know I am going to sound like a complete homer but I don't think I would take any other QB in the league right now over Ryan. The Packer's Aaron Rodgers is the better athlete and Tom Brady has more rings and Peyton Manning has more MVP's but if there is two minutes left in a game and the Falcons need a score to win it I would take Ryan over them. Rodgers and Manning would probably throw an INT and Brady isn't exactly the king of comebacks.

And yes I know Michael Vick is having a special season up in Philly but nobody in their right mind would take him as their franchise quarterback over Ryan, Manning, Rodgers, and Brady. You know it's just a matter of time before he fucks up again. It's in his DNA so he can't help it.

Week 12

Week 12 picks are going to be short and sweet. Sorry guys, but haven't had any time at all in the last few weeks to do much. Here it comes...

Nebraska vs Texas AM
Huskers are bigger and badder. Take nothing away from the Aggies, they've had a great run at the end, but they don't have the team to beat the Huskers.

Huskers 38 vs Texas AM 17

Ohio State vs Iowa
I said earlier in the year that this would be the Buckeyes biggest test and I still think Iowa is very good, but I'm not convinced they are ready for a Buckeye team on cruise control right now. Terrell Pryor is playing much better near the end of the season and while I still think the Hawkeyes are very good, not sure they will be good enough today.

Buckeyes 21 vs Iowa 17

Arkansas vs Miss State
I would say this is an important one in the West, but this is more of a battle of the bigger bowl. Arkansas is good and should be at full strength this week. I think it's fair to say Mississippi State has been a huge surprise in the SEC this season. While this may be a great game, Arkansas has more firepower and will win this shoot out.

Hogs 42 vs Dogs 31

Miami vs Va Tech
The Hurricanes have a new starting QB and fourth string Morriss is going to have a huge test today against a strong Hokie team. The Hokies have Ryan Williams back and are looking like the future winners of the ACC. Even though Miami is playing at home, the Hokies are too good for the Hurricanes this year. Look for a tough match and if special teams have anything to say about it, we all know Beamer Ball is the best in the nation.

Hurricanes 10 vs Hokies 28

TOM BRADY TRIED TO DO WHAT?

SCOREGON QUACK ATTACK SHIRT

Another new SportsCrack tee creation called Scoregon: Quack Attack.
Get it SCOR-E-GON. They are only $17 and as always a portion of all sales go to the American Cancer Society.

KING FELIX WINS CY YOUNG

The greatest thing about King Felix Hernandez winning the Cy Young is the thought of Peter Gammons farting out a mixture of C.C. Sabathia and Jon Lester baby batter right now in shock. Hernandez was the obvious winner yet there are jackasses everywhere on Facebook (staring you down Kige Ramsey) whom bitch and moan about him not deserving it because he played on a losing team. Idiots.

THE INEVITABLE: SON OF A PREACHER MAN (CAM NEWTON EDITION)

Is this guy's name really MoonPie? What was Oatmeal Cream Pie taken or something? Holy fuck I use to love MoonPie back in the day but I think if I had one now I would be shitting for days on end. The song is actually decent. Kind of funny too. As long as Cam Newton keeps playing he will always have the last laugh. Personally I hope he does keep playing. The kid is fun as hell to watch. He's the black version of Tim Tebow except Tebow probably made twice as much as Cam did in college considering he was a three year starter.

127 HOURS LOOKS GREAT BUT WHEN THE FUCK DOES IT COME TO ATLANTA?

I've been frantically looking all over the internet trying to find out when the newest Danny Boyle flick hits Atlanta theaters and I've had no luck. Can somebody please find out for me? The true story about Aron Ralston getting trapped under a boulder and somehow surviving by unimaginable ways is sure to be a great movie with director Boyle putting his touches on it. Some of my favorite movies include 28 Days Later, Trainspotting, and Slumdog Millionaire so you know Boyle will do a kickass job on this one. So somebody help a brother out. I'm not an idiot but for some reason this movie was released back in September or some shit and I can't find it playing anywhere.

MICHAEL FLOYD IS NOT ONE OF THE TEN BEST RECEIVERS IN THE GAME?

Yesterday the Biletnikoff Award announced their 10 semifinalists for the best receiver in the country. And for some bizarre reason they left Notre Dame's Michael Floyd off the list. Yep, somehow Floyd is not considered a top 10 receiver in the college game. Holy shit I hate these fucking awards. Here are your semifinalists and their stats compared to Floyd:

Oklahoma State Justin Blackmon-84 catches 1430 yards 16 TD's
Blackmon should be the run away winner. Despite the one game suspension because of a DUI he has dominated every game. He isn't the best receiver in the college game but he is having the best season and deserves to win it.

Oklahoma’s Ryan Broyles-94 catches 1196 yards 11 TD's
Broyles is a good possession receiver and his stats are unreal this year. He is more a product of the system though.

Texas A&M’s Jeff Fuller-61 catches 923 yards 11 TD's
What a shock, another fucking Big 12 receiver. Fuller has good numbers but nobody in their right mind would take him over Floyd.

Kentucky’s Randall Cobb-66 catches 839 yards 7 TD's
Cobb's stats are about identical to MF. He has a few more catches and a few more yards and MF has more TD's. Ask any NFL GM who would they rather have and 99.9% would say Floyd.

Georgia’s A.J. Green-41 catches 674 yards 9 TD's
Green is the best in the game, no doubt. Even with Blackmon's season I would still say Green is the most dominant receiver. But shouldn't a suspension of 4 games for violating NCAA rules (albeit dumb rules) void you from contention for an award?

South Carolina’s Alshon Jeffrey-65 catches 1087 yards 7 TD's
No argument here. Jeffrey is having a solid season and is one of the nation's best. I would still take Floyd over him though.

Alabama Julio Jones-58 catches 799 yards 4 TD's
Floyd has the same amount of catches and yards receiving but he has 5 more TD's with a freshman QB in a first year system. There is no fucking way Julio should be on this list above Floyd. Julio is a good player but ever since high school he has been a little overhyped.

SMU’s Aldrick Robinson-50 catches 994 yards 10 TD's
SMU still has a football team? Robinson is putting up great stats in June Jones offense. So does every other receiver.

Hawaii’s Greg Salas-83 catches 1246 yards 8 TD's
No one is going to take a pineapple fucker over Floyd. No one. Nice stats though.

Western Michigan’s Jordan White-72 catches 1057 yards 8 TD's
I mean you got to be shitting me right? A Western fucking Michigan receiver! Notre Dame played them this year and Michael Floyd ran circles around White.

Notre Dame's Michael Floyd-59 catches 767 yards 9 TD's
Granted Floyd's stats are not as incredible as last year's winner Golden Tate but then again Golden was catching balls from Jimmy Clausen who was deadly accurate. Dayne Crist when healthy was streaky at best and now Floyd is catching balls from a true freshman in Tommy Rees under a first year spread offense under coach Brian Kelly and still is putting up comparable stats to the ten semifinalists. I'm not saying Floyd is the best receiver in the country (I would rather have Green and Blackmon right now) but he is definitely top 5. There is no reason he should be left off this list. The one game he missed this season was the Navy game. Notre Dame's offense was anemic because of it.

Floyd's combination of size (6'3 235 lbs) and speed (I'm banking he runs a solid 4.4-4.5 even on the shitty field conditions of Notre Dame) plus his hands makes him one of the top 5 receivers in the college game. Some people will want to point out a drop here or there or a fumble but every single player on this list has had those this season. In conclusion Floyd got screwed of the recognition he deserved. Now he needs to take out his frustration on Army and USC the next two weeks and show the country he deserves to be in the same discussion as the other semifinalists.

I'M SHOCKED THESE TWO ASSHOLES ARE GETTING DIVORCED

A professional basketball player cheated on his wife. Holy shit! Why Tony? Why?

Maybe because she made him do this stupid ass Grease musical. Shame on Eva Longoria. Now go wax that mustache short stuff and start sluttin it up again.

ATLANTA FALCONS ARE THE NEW #1 TEAM IN THE NFL

Thank god the NFL doesn't use bullshit ranking systems and computers when it comes to deciding the SuperBowl Champion but it is refreshing to see so many experts pick the Atlanta Falcons as the best team in the "power rankings."

The latest is ESPN. They got the Falcons #1 followed by the Patriots, Jets, Ravens, and Steelers. Right now the Falcons are in the driver's seat for the #1 seed in the NFC at 7-2. Getting homefield advantage throughout would be huge. Matt Ryan is 18-1 in the friendly confines of the Georgia Dome. 4 of the next 5 games are on the road with Green Bay being the lone home game next Sunday. If the Falcons can go 3-2 (beat St. Louis, Tampa, and Carolina) then there chances of locking up the #1 seed is good. If they can go 4-1 (beat all the above mentioned and one of Green Bay or Seattle on the road) then homefield is pretty much guarenteed with the final two games (New Orleans and Carolina) of the season being in the Dome.

13-3 gets it done. 12-4 and you could be looking at a road playoff game in Philly, New York, or Green Bay.

Just win Matty Ice!

BRAVES GET THE RIGHT HANDED POWER BAT THEY WANTED IN DAN UGGLA

Atlanta Braves General Manager Frank Wren knew going into this offseason that his ball club had a major gaping hole in it's lineup: power right handed bat. Yesterday he accomplished one of his goals by acquiring second baseman Dan Uggla from the Florida Marlins for Omar Infante and Mike Dunn. In the last 5 seasons only one right handed National League player has more home runs than Uggla. His name is Albert Pujols.

Uggla will more than likely start at second base with fellow All-Star Martin Prado moving to third base. With the infield complete (Freddie Freeman at 1B, Alex Gonzalez at SS and Brian McCann at C) the Braves will now look to make a drastic improvement to the outfield. The only player penciled into new coach Fredi Gonzalez lineup is Jason Heyward in RF. Nate McLouth could be the starting CF which would be absolutely horrible in my opinion. There is no left fielder unless they resign Matt Diaz. The Diamondbacks have made it known that 23 year old budding superstar Justin Upton is on the market. He would be the perfect left fielder for the Braves. He's young, steals bases, has power, and is signed through 2015. It would take a lot to get Upton and the DBacks are looking for arms. If I'm the Braves there is no way in hell I trade Tommy Hanson, Johnny Venters, or Craig Kimbrel. Everyone else is available for Upton. I would think Julio Teheran and Jair Jurrjens gets the deal done easily. If I'm the Braves I would try to trade Mike Minor, Brandon Beachy, and one of Teheran/Jurrjens for Upton and see if they would put Stephen Drew in with the deal.

If this deal could go through you are looking at this potential lineup:
LF-Justin Upton
3B-Martin Prado
RF-Jason Heyward
2B-Dan Uggla
C-Brian McCann
1B-Freddie Freeman
SS-Alex Gonzalez
CF-Nate McLouth/anybody else

This is a lineup that would score a shitload of runs. The pitching would still be excellent with Huddy, Hanson, and Lowe anchoring the staff and one of the best bullpens in the league.

What do you think the Braves and Frank Wren should do to improve the ballclub?

WHO IS CARMELO ANTHONY?

I can excuse the girl for not knowing the answer but the guy from Georgia Southern is just flat out embarrassing. "Who is Carmelo Anthony?"...are you fucking kidding me kid? Everyone knows it's Lebron James. Idiot.

A BLOODY WHITE VERSION OF LAWRENCE TAYLOR

Once the lights came back on at Giants Stadium all hell broke loose. I would be fired up too if I paid good money to see my team get their asses kicked by the 1-7 Cowgirls.

With the Giants losing here are my top 5 NFC Teams in terms of Power Rankings:
1) Atlanta Falcons
2) Green Bay Packers
3) Philadelphia Eagles
4) New York Giants
5) New Orleans Saints

A NEW PRODUCT FOR UGA NATION

Come on Georgia fans. You are better than this. Please stop complaining about Auburn playing dirty. It's football. You lost. Deal with it. Now go stomp on those Nerds and make a bowl game.

CLEVER COLLEGE GAMEDAY SIGN FROM COLUMBUS

And here I was thinking the Buckeyes Nation in general had very little reading and writing comprehension. Tressel and crew did a good tease job with "Weekend at Bernies" and myself in the first half before slaughtering them and covering the 19 points.

BUSTER POSEY WINS ROOKIE OF THE YEAR...HEYWARD PONDERS LAWSUIT

In what appears as a clear cut trademark infringement case today SportsCrack.com has learned exclusively* that Buster Posey has stolen the rights to the Rookie of the Year Award from Jason "The J-K's Kid" Heyward. Heyward and the media on his behalf claimed rights at the start of the season to the "National League Rookie of the Year" saying and that Heyward had exclusive rights to the award. Despite Posey's better stats and actual production in the playoffs while playing a tougher position and leading the Giants to their first World Series title in San Francisco Heyward felt he deserved the award because his batting coach back in middle school claimed he would win the Award and thus he had exclusive rights.

When asked for comment about the possible lawsuit and legal ramifications for Posey if he does not return the Rookie of the Year Award to Heyward Buster simply replied: "Try not striking out so fucking much J-Kward!"

Spoken like a true gentleman.

* exclusively=complete and utter bullshit, please don't sue us. It's a joke.

Disclaimer: none of these quotes or any part of this story is factual other than the fact that Posey deserved the Rookie of the Year and Heyward does in fact strike out way too much.

ARGENTINA'S DANCING WITH THE STARS IS MORE FAMILY FRIENDLY

And by "family friendly" if you count motorboating and finger blasting as normal viewing pleasures. I mean WOW! I literally thought they were going to fuck right there. It was as clear as day. If the host didn't stop it there would have been body fluids all over the cameras. I need to go take a cold shower immediately.

Video via BarStoolSports

SHOULD AUBURN SUSPEND NICK FAIRLEY?

If you were watching the Auburn-Georgia game on Saturday you saw at least one of two things: Cam Newton running wild and/or DT Nick Fairley destroying Georgia QB Aaron Murray. Georgia fans have been up in arms the past two days saying Fairley (a literal one man wrecking crew on the Auburn D Line) should be suspended and should have at the very least been thrown out of the game on Saturday for the "cheap" hits on Murray. I have no dog in this fight but from what I have seen I don't think it would warrant a suspension. Yes Fairley did lead with his helmet into the middle of Murray's back. There is no disputing that. But when it comes to football a lot of plays are split second decisions. The video above shows the play in super slow mo. In real time this is about half a second to a second. We don't know for sure if Fairley even knew Murray had thrown the ball. To me it looks like he has already committed to nailing the shit out of him which is fine in my books because this is FOOTBALL. And please people don't start with the leading with the helmet argument. How is he suppose to tackle? With his feet? If Georgia fans want to be pissed off at something it should have been about why their offensive line couldn't stop one guy. Fairley is a beast and even with their double teams he still managed to get to Murray.

With the win on Saturday Auburn clinched the SEC West and will now take a week off before playing Alabama in the Iron Bowl next Friday. If they win in Tuscaloosa then all they have between them and the BCS Title game is South Carolina in the Georgia Dome. South Carolina won't stop Cam Newton or Nick Fairley.

For Georgia they now fall to 5-6 but get a week off to prepare for in-state rival Georgia Tech. It's the biggest must win situation in Mark Richt's tenure in Athens. Win and they go to a bowl. Lose and all hell will break loose. Georgia fans are already restless over the last two seasons and a loss against the North Avenue Trade School would send them over the top.

Do you think Fairley should be suspended for the Alabama game because of the hits on Murray?

You ever wonder what Three Bald Guys think of Fairley and his vicious hits? I knew you did. Well here ya go...

GUS JOHNSON CALLING THE GAME WINNING DAVID GARRARD HAIL MARY

Gus Johnson is without a doubt the best play-by-play announcer in sports. His March Madness calls are legendary and now his NFL calls are quickly catching up.

I don't know what NBC has to do but get rid of Tom Hammond and hire Gus away from CBS. I'm telling you this guy would bring in way more viewers than fucking Frankenstein Hammond. I want to hear Gus having a heart attack every time the Fighting Irish put the ball in the endzone. Make it happen NBC.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL PREDICTIONS

UTAH (-6) AT NOTRE DAME
The Utes make their first ever trip to Notre Dame for Senior Day. The Utes are fresh off a shelacking at the hands of TCU and are looking to rebound against a depleted Irish team. Notre Dame has lost their starting QB, RB, TE, WR, and DT all to season ending injuries. The current senior class has the most losses in Notre Dame history. I haven't seen anything on the field to make me think Notre Dame wins this game. Brian Kelly will get them turned around as soon as he weeds out this senior class.

Prediction: Utah 27 Notre Dame 20

GEORGIA (+7) AT AUBURN
Even with Cam Newton playing I think this will be a close game. A.J. Green should have a big day against a very average Auburn secondary. Georgia has won 4 straight in this rivalry and even though they will have the lead in the 2nd half the Tigers survive.

Prediction: Auburn 42 Georgia 38


Penn State at Ohio State (-19.5)
I have no idea why College Gameday is in Columbus this weekend. They must have been scared to go down to Auburn after the whole Newton fiasco. Terrelle Pryor will have a great game and get a lot of undue Heisman hype after this one. Buckeyes roll.

Prediction: Buckeyes 42 Penn State 13

Mississippi State at Alabama (-13.5)
The Tide have their backs to the wall. If they lose then they are out of BCS bowl contention. Win and they still have a chance. Call it a gut feeling but I think we see Alabama's best game today.

Prediction: Bama 31 Whiny Snitching Bitches 10

South Carolina (+6.5) at Florida
The Ole Ball Coach will have a great gameplan for the Cocks in Gainesville. They will screen the shit out of them and even with a banged up Marcus Lattimore he should carry the team. I'm calling the upset here.

Prediction: South Carolina 17 Gators 16

Oregon at Cal (over 62)
It's not too often you see a team who is undefeated at home in November as a 3 touchdown underdog on their home field. Oregon is going to pile on the points and they might put 62 by themselves. Go with the over here.

Prediction: Oregon 70 Cal 35

VICTORIA'S SECRET FASHION SHOW SENDS YOU INTO THE WEEKEND

My invitation must have got lost in the mail...

R.I.P. DAVE NIEHAUS

Hall of Fame announcer Dave Niehaus passed away yesterday at the age of 75. He was known as the distinctive raspy play-by-play voice of the Seattle Mariners. I'm not even a Mariners fan but I somehow get chills listening to his call of the 1995 ALCS series against the New York Yankees. The KingDome looked as if it was about to be shaken to it's very core with the incredible thrill in Niehaus's voice as Edgar Martinez knocked in Junior. Incredible.

ILYA KOVALCHUK WITH THE WHIFF

This is what $105 million buys you these days in the NHL. As a Thrashers fan I still miss the guy. But not for that type of money.

Week 11 Still Going Strong!

Sorry I missed last week, I know you were all desperately upset. I hope no one decided to jump because of Matt and I missing our picks. More importantly, don't jump this week because we're back! I'm still 28 - 12 and only missed one week, I'll take it.

Georgia vs Auburn (Auburn favored by only God knows how much at this point)
Hey Urban, thanks for the help! I have to agree with Matt, you're a great coach, and now I also understand you're a world class scum bag. I'm so glad you leaked the story of Cam "The Scam" Newton. Personally, I hope it's all not true. Everything I've heard about the guy since his "incidents" at Florida have been good. The kid is uber talented and is destined to pull a "Bush Bolt" and head to the NFL this year where coaches with scramble to draft him and meet the apparent financial needs of his family. While Georgia is not favored, the offense is clicking, and at the right time. Richt hasn't beaten a ranked team this year and honestly, he has to beat either Auburn or Tech to ensure a bowl game. Let's face it, without UGA's best player, Josh "The Heisman Hopeful" Nesbitt, UGA may be at more of a disadvantage in that game. I personally would like to think the Dawgs have enough in them to play spoiler to Auburn, but a National Championship game without an SEC team just doesn't seem like a National Championship game to me at all. It's only fair to be somewhat unbiased and I really don't know if UGA's defense is ready for the Auburn ground game, nor Newton's arm. Offensively, I think UGA truly has the advantage, the group of receivers are proving to be talented and the special teams are just that, special. UGA's downfall will be their defense. Auburn's offense is too powerful for UGA to make mistakes and with the youth and new system, UGA is not disciplined enough to not make a mistake or two. As much as I desperately want to pick my Dawgs, I can't do it, though I do think it'll be a good game. While I'm not picking you, I'm rooting for you, GOOOO DAWGS, but Auburn wins.

Auburn 35 vs UGA 31

Penn State vs Ohio State
I'm not a Buckeye fan, that's no secret, but I'm less of a Penn State fan. I could care less how many victories Joe Pa has. When he dies, they may put his ashes in a jar, put them in the coaches box, and still call him the head coach. Hell, they may bury him within a monument and accredit every game ever played by Penn State again to him. Personally, I don't want to know. All I know is that the Little 11 is less than it used to be and it wasn't all that excellent to begin with. Ohio State has a better offense, a better defense, a better special teams, a better coach, and a better fan base. The boys from Ohio are good and while I don't think they will get by Iowa next week, I'm positive they'll use this as a warm up game for the battle with the Hawkeyes. If I were a betting man, I'd bet on the Buckeyes, but I don't bet because it's no fun when you always win.

PSU 10 vs OSU 27

Mississippi State vs Alabama
Man my fingers hurt after typing out Mississippi State. While Dan Mullen is very obviously involved in "Newton Gate", he's still a genius. Who expected MSU to compete this year?!?! They Bulldogs from the west are good, but Alabama is better. LSU played a better game than Alabama, hands down, but Coach Satan, I mean Saban, is going to unleash Hell's Fury (did I reference the Devil again... my bad) all over the unlucky Bulldogs. Saban is not going to be embarrassed this season and he's going to have his minions, I mean players, focused and ready. This game is going to feel closer than it will end. MSU simply does not have the talent nor the depth to stick it out versus a pissed off Crimson Tide. Tide rolls at home.

MSU 10 vs Alabama 24

Utah vs Notre Dame
I don't have a lot good to say about Notre Dame. They have underperformed for a few years now and are proving once again that they aren't ready to step back into the college football world of powerhouses. They have the tradition, the facilities, the academics, the support, the boosters, the fans to bring in top notch talent year in and out, but the coaching staff has been largely unable to get the successful culture of Notre Dame to translate onto the field of play. This week, they face a very good Utah team and the losing is unfortunately going to continue. I wish them the best this game, but they will need much more than the "luck of the Irish" to beat Utah.

Utah 28 vs Notre Dame 10

Kansas State vs Missouri
Tiger fans, here's your chance to stand out in the Big 12. You're facing a good, but not great Kansas State team that has outperformed their talent on the field. While I'm still not closed to convinced the Big 12 is all that amazing, I do believe the Tigers are doing a good job of heading toward the top of the conference and I'm hopeful that they are able to remain there. Missouri beats K State this week.

K State 24 vs Missouri 28

South Carolina vs Florida
Cocks vs Crocks. The Ole Ball Coach/Evil Genius vs Urban "The Liar" Cryer/Meyer. Who cares what you call it. This is the battle of two extraordinary coaches and two seriously evil people. Meyer is proving to be a completely manipulative scumbag who will stoop to any low to win on any given Saturday, then quit on his team in the off-season to vacation with his family as he "recovers", only to rejoin his team shortly thereafter. Spurrier needs no introductions nor reminders of his evil MO, he's the Evil Genius, and he's brilliant. Love him or hate him, personally I love to hate him, he knows what he's doing. The cocks have been brilliantly inconsistent this season, but they will get better, much better, and Florida has been a bit of an enigma without St. Tebow. This week determines the winner of the SEC East and who will lose to Auburn in the championship game. As much as I"m going to pull for South Carolina, there is no way that I can possibly deny that I can't wait to see Cam Newton explode all over Urban Meyer's face.

Cocks 17 vs Crocks 28

DON'T BE MAD AUBURN FANS

#2 in the country.

#2 is still eligible.

And those are 2 big reasons every Auburn fan can still smile today.

WAR SCAM EAGLE SHIRT

We have had multiple requests in the past week from SEC Country to do a WAR $CAM EAGLE shirt. So here you go Bama, Mississippi State, Georgia, Florida, etc. fans.

The front of the shirt says 'WAR $CAM EAGLE."

The back it says "PAY-2-PLAY $CAM ON AUBARN."

WAR SCAM EAGLE!!!!

$CAM ON AUBARN!!!

SHIRTS!!!!

BUY NOW!!!!

LAS VEGAS KNOWS SOMETHING: AUBURN-GEORGIA POINT SPREAD GONE

In case you were hunkering down Georgia fans on the fat 8 1/2 point dogs that UGA was facing on Saturday against Auburn you can now save your money since Las Vegas has removed the line and the game. According to Jeff Schultz with the AJC.com Vegas has now dropped the game because of the Cam Newton effect.

I received this text message from Todd Fuhrmann, the sportsbook analyst at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas: “Rumors running rampant and swirling about Cam Newton’s status. He appears to be a game time decision now and no player would move the number more.”

Now with the revelations that Cecil and Cam Newton both talked to Mississippi State recruiters about a pay-for-play in telephone conversations. If this is true then they are both fucking morons. It's still seems ironic that these phone conversations were reported back in January to the SEC conference officials and yet we are only hearing about it now. Basically if Cam Newton was a second string QB on Auburn this story would have never come out. Anyways with Newton on the verge of possibly being held out or being declared ineligible Vegas has taken the proactive response and just taken the game off. Without Cam I don't think they beat Georgia. It's as simple as that.

* picture is for point spread purposes.

URBAN MEYER BASICALLY ADMITS HIS GUILT

“Obviously, it’s a joke. I don’t know anything about anything. I heard they’ve got me meeting with the agent and all that. I never met with anybody. It’s ridiculous.”

Oh Urban, you sly snake. You don't know anything just like Mark McGwire had no clue what sticking needles in his ass would do for him. I've always known Urban has been a great college football coach but I just never fully realized what a piece of shit he is. This guy will do anything to gain advantage on Saturday including throwing one of his former players under the bus with some academic bull shit. I hope recruits and their parents take notice of the tactics Urban Meyer uses. Threaten to kill your girlfriend it's all good and you can come back and play against Georgia. Transfer to a rival SEC school like Cam Newton and you should expect some serious mud slinging in the media from Urban.

Seriously, what a piece of shit. I want to see Auburn vs. Florida in the SEC Championship. This has to happen.

Oh and by the way I know Mississippi State head coach Dan Mullen is behind this too. Guess where he got his info people? His good old buddy who's last name just happens to rhyme with LIAR.

ANOTHER SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE: DEREK JETER WINS 5TH GOLD GLOVE

How in the holy fucking hell did Derek Jeter win another Gold Glove? Does anybody who vote for these awards actually watch the games? I guess tomorrow we will find out Brooks Conrad won it with his stellar defense in the National League. Seems completely logical right? I'm convinced Bud Selig made this happen for publicity for his shitty fucking sport.

And yes, I love baseball but I hate that fucking four eyed 70's smoke jacket wearing douchebag and his non salary cap loving ass.

TURKISH BASKETBALL CAN CAUSE HEADACHES

Deadspin.com has the greatest Turkish League Basketball head stomping video of all-time. I've seen my fair share of Turkish League Basketball cheap shots but this one takes the cake. Shame on you Mike Batiste! Just because Albert Haynesworth did it in America doesn't mean you can go overseas and start stomping people's skulls. Seriously, what an asshole!

RICH RODRIGUEZ IS AN OFFENSIVE GENIUS

But we've had the three worst defenses in Michigan's 133 year history....HATER!

Best Trick Play Ever!!!!

All I can say is WOW!!! Check out this middle school trick play! It's insane!!! Check out the Leather Helmet Blog too (for all of us UGA fans) @ leatherhelmetblog.com.