NICK FAIRLEY AND CAM NEWTON BOTH DECLARE FOR THE NFL, IS EITHER #1 PICK MATERIAL?

Yesterday National Champion Auburn lost their two biggest playmakers in quarterback Cam Newton and defensive tackle Nick Fairley to the NFL draft. Are either one of these freaks of nature #1 pick material for the Carolina Panthers?

I'm going to say no. Carolina does need a quarterback if they plan on ditching the Jimmy Clausen experiment but I don't think Cam would be the best choice. Andrew Luck would have been the perfect pick for Carolina but since he is coming back for his senior season at Stanford there is no sure bet for #1. Newton has too many question marks (character, ability to adapt to a pro-style offense, experience) to risk handing your franchise over to a guy who would instantly become the face of the franchise. I think Cam could become an excellent NFL QB with time but I don't think Carolina would be conducive to his development. Plus you know Cam and his father are going to hold out for the most money.

Fairley was a beast this season and pretty much carried Auburn's defense much like Cam carried Auburn's offense. He was unstoppable in college. The only person who stopped him was himself. Yes, Fairley does take a lot of plays off. The motor isn't constantly ticking like it is in a Ndamukong Suh. If I'm going to throw tens of millions on a #1 overall pick I have to be absolutely sure they will give it everything they have on Sundays. I'm not convinced Fairley has it in him. Don't get me wrong the guy is a fucking locomotive when he gets going and I would be more than happy to have him playing for my Falcons. But if I'm Carolina I can't risk missing on this #1 pick with a guy who takes plays off and who will be getting millions of dollars and could just cash out like Albert Haynesworth did when he got his big paycheck.

So who would I take #1 if I were Carolina? I would probably look to trade down and get a second round pick to go along with a first or even another first round pick if possible but if I had a gun to my head and had to pick one guy right now it would be Clemson defensive end Da'Quan Bowers. The sky is the limit it for Bowers and with the close proximity of Clemson to Charlotte he would be in a comfort zone with the franchise. I can see Bowers developing into another Julius Peppers.

ISHAQ WILLIAMS TO NOTRE DAME!

Notre Dame picked up another huge commitment with 4 star outside linebacker Ishaq Williams dad confirming to IrishIllustrated.com's Pete Sampson that his son would be attending Notre Dame starting next week. This is another huge get for the Notre Dame football program in that Ishaq would join potential 5 star players in defensive ends Stephon Tuitt and Aaron Lynch in what would be the best defensive haul in Notre Dame recruiting history. Notre Dame now has 22 commitments for their 2011 signing class and are still awaiting word from running backs Amir Carlisle and Savon Huggins who both have ND as a finalist in their college decision.

If you are curious to know how good of a recruiters head coach Brian Kelly and defensive coordinator Bob Diaco are you should read this story told to Pete Sampson.

OK, here's the backstory. The dad told me that Ishaq was ready to announce his commitment last weekend at the Army Bowl, or at least was very close to it, but the commitment was going to be to Penn State. During the week Ishaq prayed about the decision, coming to terms with two big points, that Notre Dame was the best fit for him off the field and that the Penn State coaching situation wasn't going to be stable enough for him to trust that the staff would be there intact during his college career.

Fast forward to this morning, with Bob Diaco making a 4:30 a.m. in-home visit with the family, which is what ended up getting Notre Dame over the top.

“The whole notion of going to a school because of a position coach, that’s not a good look,” Shaun Williams said. “Everything else at Notre Dame just added up. It’s really just what he was looking for. He really admires coach Diaco and really admires coach (Brian) Kelly. Coach Kelly is a proven winner and might just prove to be the next Joe Paterno, if he wants to coach that long.

“The whole idea of how confidently coach Diaco talks about Notre Dame winning a national championship in the next few years, he just felt he had to buy in.”

I've already bought in to Coach Kelly and Diaco after seeing Notre Dame run off a 4 game winning streak at the end of the season with a true freshman quarterback starting and injuries to 5 key starters who were missing. It's great to hear recruits are taking notice and that Notre Dame is on the right track. The thought of Ishaq, Lynch, and Tuitt all in the same class is sickening. Notre Dame is usually lucky to land one of these defensive recruits of their caliber every 5-10 years. Three in one class? Mind blowing.

Here are some highlights of Ishaq...

BLAKE GRIFFIN WITH A LITTLE DOUBLE PUMP DUNK RIGHT IN THE HEART OF THE MIAMI HEAT

I got a new favorite NBA baller and his name is Blake Griffin. The LA Clippers power forward rookie got in the face of Miami Heats' Mario Chalmers and basically told him to fuck off. Then he gave the royal finish to the Heat last night with a double pump slam dunk that sealed a win 111-105 victory. Just another 24 points, 14 boards, and 6 assists night for Griffin. I'm telling you this kid is going to be the face of the NBA. Everybody wants to jump on Lebron and Kobe's nuts and eventually pass the torch to Derrick Rose but Griffin is the real deal. The kid will eventually turn around the worst franchise in sports history. Book it!

TERRELL SUGGS' MIDDLE FINGER SALUTE SHIRT TO PITTSBURGH

Baltimore Raven's outside linebacker Terrell Suggs wants you to know how he feels about Pittsburgh. The Ravens and Steelers obviously don't take a liking to one another. They are already calling Saturday's playoff game Armageddon because which ever team is left standing after they knock the piss out of each other will more than likely lose the next week versus the Pats/Jets winner. It's going to be brutally bloody battle. The Ravens are the dogs on the road which is to be expected. I think Suggs gets his wish on Saturday and gives Pittsburgh a knockout punch. Right in there Rapelisbergers.

Early Prediction: Ravens 24 Steelers 20

LES MILES USED MICHIGAN FOR LEVERAGE WITH LSU

Just a day after turning down Michigan for their head coaching position Les Miles returned to LSU and announced an extension with the Bayou Bengals. How fucking awesome is that? He used the school he played for to get a contract extension with his current employer. Poor Michigan.

BATON ROUGE, La. -- LSU and Les Miles have agreed in principle to a new contract that will run through the 2017 season.

LSU athletic director Joe Alleva says Miles' annual pay of a little more than $3.75 million will remain the same.

Now I know Michigan is saying they never offered Jim Harbaugh or Les Miles the job and Brady Hoke was their first choice but we all know they are fucking dirty liars up there in Ann Arbor. Harbaugh was never going to go back to Michigan with the NFL throwing cash around like Pacman in a strip club. But Miles just flat out used Michigan to get more money out of LSU. He used Ann Arbor like she was some dirty whore. I doubt Miles even left any change on the nightstand after he was done. Come to think of it...

JUSTIN BLACKMON AND BRANDON WEEDEN RETURNING TO OKLAHOMA STATE

The Oklahoma State Cowboys football program received some great news today when record-breaking All-American junior wide receiver Justin Blackmon will return along with quarterback Brandon Weeden. Blackmon was projected as a sure-fire first round draft pick after setting Okie State records with 111 catches for 1782 yards and 20 touchdowns. Weeden also set Cowboy records his junior season with 4277 yards passing along with 34 TD's.

While I'm not surprised Weeden is returning since most draft experts don't have him pegged for as a first round pick I'm shocked Blackmon decided to come back. Blackmon was projected to go right behind UGA's A.J. Green and possibly before Alabama's Julio Jones in the first round. With Blackmon returning the Cowboys have a legitimate shot of competing with the Sooners for the Big 12 Championship next year along with defending his Biletnikoff Award versus Michael Floyd.

Here is my list of the top 5 returning players in college football next season off the top of my head. All 5 of these guys have a good shot at competing for the Heisman if they can get their respective programs to a BCS Bowl game and of course compete for a National Title.

1) Andrew Luck (Stanford)-Be ready to be barraged with endless stories on Luck. He's a good guy who deserves the recognition it's just unfortunate that a lot of people will start to hate him because of all the preseason attention.
2) Justin Blackmon (Oklahoma State)-Could he put up even better numbers? Wouldn't shock me.
3) Lamichael James (Oregon)-Should have the Ducks competing for the PAC-10 Title.
4) Kellen Moore (Boise State)-The guy just wins and will probably throw for a bijillion yards vs. Georgia on national television.
5) Manti Te'o (Notre Dame)-The Hawaiian Hitman will have his coming out party in 2011.

MICHAEL FLOYD WILL RETURN TO NOTRE DAME FOR HIS SENIOR SEASON

Notre Dame just picked up the biggest commitment they could for the 2011 season. Standout Wide Receiver Michael Floyd announced he would be coming back for his senior season.

"This was one of the toughest decisions I have ever had to make in my life," Floyd said. "On the one hand, there was Notre Dame. This place has been an incredible home to me and the relationships I built here are ones I know I'll have for the rest of my life. On the other hand, there was the NFL. It has always been a lifelong goal to play football at the highest level and that is something I look forward to doing at some point. However, I'm pleased to say I will be returning to the University of Notre Dame for my senior season in 2011.

"I'm returning to Notre Dame for three reasons: to earn my degree, return Notre Dame to the top and improve myself as a player. First, I promised my mom I would graduate from Notre Dame and I am 40 credit hours shy of attaining that goal. I chose to attend Notre Dame in part because I knew it was a 40-year decision and not a four-year decision. Graduating from Notre Dame will help me for the rest of my life. Second, I want to get Notre Dame back to a BCS game. I believe we are very close to returning the Irish to where we belong and I want to be part of something great. Lastly, I want to show everyone in the country that I'm the best wide receiver in college football in 2011. There are many things I need to improve, but I feel with the coaching I have at Notre Dame, I can become the best at my position in this game."

Michael Floyd

As I've already mentioned before this is huge for Notre Dame and Floyd himself. Notre Dame has a legitimate shot at a BCS Bowl game next year with Floyd back. Floyd also has an outstanding shot of improving his draft stock and entering the 2012 NFL Draft with a much weaker group of wide receiver class entering. This is a huge win for the Notre Dame football program and it's basically better than landing a 5 star recruit. Floyd is a beast of a football player and will have a huge senior season in 2011.

NICK FAIRLEY SEEMS LIKE A NICE GUY

LES MILES TURNS DOWN MICHIGAN

Les Miles is yet another "Michigan Man" who has turned down the Wolverines to coach at his alma mater. I take it the fake grass wasn't to his liking. Michigan AD Dave Brandon needs to stop with the grab assing and just hire Brady Hoke already. You aren't get the hot chick Michigan. Your attempts are pathetic. Miles was never going to leave LSU for Michigan. He has it made down there. He can just gobble up 5 star Bayou recruits faster than sideline grass in Baton Rouge.

Let me guess what the next rumor will be: Jon Gruden.

Go after him. I'm ready to make a Miss-igan shirt at any moment.

CALL OF THE DAY: THIS IS FOR ALL THE TOSTITOS

You gotta love Brent Musberger. The suits were in his ear all game. Say Tostitos! Please! Please! And at the very end of the game he says "THIS IS FOR ALL THE TOSTITOS!" I don't even know what that fucking means. I mean at least say it's for the whole enchilada. That makes sense. Now I'm fucking hungry, craving tostitos and enchiladas and I am stuck in the an ice storm in Atlanta. Fuck you Musberger. Corporate shill for things I actually love.

MICHAEL DYER WITH THE PLAY OF THE GAME

The officials were on top of it all game and made the right call here. They let the play play out and did not blow the whistle when Auburn tailback Michael Dyer spun and appeared to the naked eye to be down on contact. He in fact was not down and the review confirmed it. This was a huge non whistle call and I got to give the referee a hat tip for making the right call.

CONGRATULATIONS TO AUBURN! GET THE OFFICIAL BCS NATIONAL CHAMPS WILSON F1005 FOOTBALL NOW

Unbelievable ending for Auburn and the new BCS National Champions. Now you can get the official Wilson leather Auburn Tigers 2011 National Champs Football here at SportsCrack.com for the low price of $130. These are the same footballs they used in the BCS Championship game against Oregon and were limited to 2011 produced. From start to finish this Wilson football was produced in the USA.

Get it today!

BCS TITLE GAME PREDICTION

In order to get all 5 of the BCS games correct I need Auburn to cover the -3 tonight as the favorite. This is my chance at glory so Auburn better not fuck it up. They are bigger and stronger than Oregon on both lines of the ball. Auburn may not have a very good defense (average at best) but does anybody really think LaMichael James is going to run all over them? I don't see James being much of a factor. On the other hand I think Cam Newton goes off. He is the type of player who loves the big stage and the attention. What has he done this season to make you think he will NOT do it again? Exactly. I've watched both of these teams play a ton this season and to my naked unbiased eye the smart play here is to go with Auburn. I know you don't want to hear about the SEC conference but it's honestly a way tougher gauntlet to hurdle than what Oregon had to face this year in the PAC-10. You can put down Cam for over 200 yards passing and 100 yards rushing while combining for at least 4 touchdowns himself whether by air or ground. UPS and the Postal Service may have been out of commission today in Atlanta but Cam is a guaranteed money player who will deliver. Just ask Cecil.

Prediction: Auburn 42 Oregon 24

CAM NEWTON IS MAKING THE NCAA SOME SERIOUS BANK

The picture above is from Clay Travis who is out at the BCS Championship game. Yes sir, $125 for a fucking replica jersey. Usually they go for $50-75.

"We've sold a ton," said the vendor to Travis. Capitalism and the NCAA at it's finest. It's a good thing the NCAA prevents players like AJ Green and Terrelle Pryor from selling their own jerseys for profit while in school. Only because the NCAA won't get a cut of it. Makes perfectly good sense.

MICHAEL FLOYD WILL ENTER THE NFL DRAFT

According to a John Walters tweet he apparently has a reliable source who has informed him that Michael Floyd will declare for the NFL Draft. Bummer.

Floyd right now is projected to be a 2nd to 3rd draft pick. His college career was spectacular when he was healthy. The problem was he could never stay on the field for a whole season. Personally I think he should have stayed for his senior season. Unlike teammate Kyle Rudolph who is projected to be the first tight end taken in the draft most "experts" don't even have Floyd in their top 5 for college receivers (AJ Green, Julio Jones, Justin Blackmon, Jonathan Baldwin, Torrey Smith are the consensus). I'm obviously bias but I think Floyd is right up there with top 3 but I wouldn't put him in the AJ Green class of receivers.

Losing Floyd to the NFL early is a tremendous loss for the Fighting Irish. There is nobody on their roster who can replace his size, strength, and #1 receiver ability. Theo Riddick and TJ Jones are going to be good ones at ND but they are more #2 receivers. Also Rudolph was easy to replace for ND since Tyler Eifert stepped up in his absence and was more than adequate. Somebody will have to step up to replace Floyd's production and honestly I don't see anybody currently on the roster. But then again I never though much of Jeff Samardzija till his junior season so who knows if guys like John Goodman, Daniel Smith, or Bennett Jackson have that capability of being a go-to receiver.

Anyway you look at it losing Floyd to the NFL sucks. I wish him luck but I can't help but think he would have been better off staying another season and developing his game while putting his name in the Notre Dame record books and also improving his NFL stock by being the #1 guy in the 2012 draft. This has the Justin Tuck feeling. Fuck.

UPDATE: According to this report head coach Brian Kelly will get one last chance to convince Floyd to stay another season with a face-to-face meeting. Sounds like a Hail Mary that ND Nation hopes Kelly nails.

Scam Newton and the Quack Attack

AP Photo

Sounds like a Ducktales movie huh? Tonight's game is supposed to be close. Two high powered offenses facing off. Unfortunately for Oregon, there's no rich uncle to bail them out. If you're a Pac-10 fan, shut up. No offense, but Cam Newton is bigger than your defensive front and faster than your safeties. It's going to take more than Nike Combat Gear to slow him down, just ask South Carolina. Yes, I know your offense is better than South Carolina's, but Auburn's defense is slack this year, and still better than the All-Pac-10 2010 team. You may have hundreds of uniform combinations and a slick play calling system, but jazz hands aren't going to win you this one. This is not the year that the SEC will forgo their dominance. I may be a UGA fan, but I'm going to have to pick our red-headed step brothers at Auburn to win this one. Sorry Oregon, you're coming up lame in this game.

My liver may hate you, but my heart loves you... Thanks ecdawg!

Thank you Leather Helmet Blog for the following gem... SportsCrack's readers can thank me later for the re-post. Trust me, you're kidneys are going to love you. We here at SportsCrack will too. Do this one tonight, I can promise you we will be taking part in this little game and all it's glory!

Thanks ecdawg, you da man!

BCS Championship Drinking Game

Written by ecdawg | 10 January 2011

From The Victory Formation:

FOR GAMETIME – have an arsenal of beer available, with ESPN taking the reigns of the BCS National Championship things are sure to move about the speed of a kidney stone. Suggestion: Walgreens has a 6 pack of “beer” on sale for $2.99 right now, with the kidney stones you’ll inherit from this presumably fine malted beverage you’ll finally be able to get the last joke. Print and play…

Sponsors:

- For every mention of the word “Tostitos” by someone not calling the game – 1 drink
- For every mention of the word “Tostitos” by Brent Musberger or Kirk Herbstreit – 2 drinks
- Someone eats a “Tostitos” chip on TV? Kill it.
- NIKE: If at anytime during the game the Oregon uniforms causes some retinal disruption, temporary blindness, or complete loss of bowels – 1 drink.

Cam Newton NCAA subgame- Every Time ESPN…

- Mentions Cam’s “troubles” – 1 drink
- Shows some graphic illustrating said “troubles” – 2 drinks
- Cuts to Cecil slying it amongst the Auburn faithful – kill it.

The Oregon Offense subgame- This is tough and is best played with multiple people – Oregon’s playcalls come from signs carried around on the sideline that look like this:

When displayed on the screen everyone in the room should immediately (and correctly) shout what is on the placard. First to finish becomes President, and can order anyone to drink copious amounts of alcohol. The first to complain is designated “beer bitch” and has to fulfill the President’s drink order. If no one complains the President can appoint the beer bitch, but is limited to making him drink only once during his tenure. The game resets upon each shot of the Oregon signs.

– First Quarter – Clockwise from the upper left
– Second Quarter – Counter clockwise from the upper right
– Third Quarter – Clockwise from the lower left
– Fourth Quarter – Counter clockwise from the lower right
– Overtime – Free for all. Weapons permissible.

The Brent Musberger sub game (optional)- for the Brent Musberger subgame, please see the Brent Musberger drinking game.

Offense:
- When Oregon scores everyone must start quacking and flapping their arms like wings. The last one to start loses and must drink the score.
- When Auburn scores everyone should get on all fours and meow. The last one to do so loses and must drink the score. BONUS! If Cam Newton scores the Auburn touchdown, the loser must drink the Cammy Cam Juice for 5 seconds with the entire crowd counting down. For recipe see below.
- If someone refuses to act like a duck or tiger, “LaGarrette Blount is mad” rules come into play and that person is subject to a merciless beating until the ensuing kickoff. If violence is not your answer, this person is automatic beer bitch.

Defense:
- With the strategy of playing defense likely scrapped from both sides the of the field, if either team punts the ball the entire room is to toast the defense and consume together.
- A bucket is to be placed in the middle of the room. After every defensive stop everyone is to pour any amount of their CURRENT beer into the bucket, and is to continue to do so on each defensive stop (punt or turnover) until someone scores. Once a team scores the bucket is now to be presented to the first person who uses the bathroom after the score. They must consume the entire contents. Anyone who walks outside and out of site when doing so is presumed to have used the bathroom. This is to continue throughout the game or until someone dies. Whatever comes first.

ESPN: They can’t possible fuck this up as much as FOX managed to, but you know ESPN is ESPN so if anytime during the broadcast, including pregame and post game…

- Lou Holtz slurs – 1 drink
- Brent Musberger slurs – 2 drinks
- Someone mentions Tim Tebow – 1 drink for first mention, 1 additional drink thereafter.
- Todd McShay evaluates the pro potential of one of the players in the game – kill it and throw the can at the TV while everyone yells, “You hack”. If drinking from bottles, throw closest soft object. (We do not want to be responsible for the loss of anyone’s TV this evening.)
- Erin Andrews – first asshole to state the obvious “she’s hot” – he has to kill it.
- If ESPN finds a way to work in Chris Berman or Stu Scott – kill it.
- If ESPN promotes the Pro-Bowl – drink once, unless they mention that some of the guys on the field are future pro-bowlers, then see McShay above.
- The “Roll Tide” commercial plays – One for you, and one for the Tide’s season (into the previously mentioned bucket).
- The Michigan job is mentioned…shrug and continue about your business.

Cammy Cam Juice: Gatorade + Everclear. Pour entire bottle of Everclear into bucket, jug, etc. Mix in Gatorade to taste. Godspeed.

I SUDDENLY HAVE THE CRAVING FOR BUD LIGHT

I blame Playboy Playmate Jaime Edmondson. She can be very influential with the spanking.

FUCK YOU BILL HANCOCK

That dickturd you see on the right handing Nick Saban the Sears Trophy is BCS executive director Bill Hancock. He's the asshole who would rather us keep watching the garbage bowl system they have lined up right now then go to a playoff. In fact he thinks the whole system would go back to the archaic version used before the BCS existed before a playoff is even considered.

"There is no groundswell among the presidents for any kind of ... seismic change," Hancock said.

A return to the old postseason system, which relied on conference tie-ins and bowl organizers to make bowl matchups, isn't likely, Hancock said, but it will be in the "spectrum of options."

"It always has been, it always will be," he said. "I don't think it will carry the day."

But an 8- or 16-team playoff is "not even in the spectrum," he added.

Last month at a college athletics forum in New York, Big Ten commissioner Jim Delany said supporters of the BCS were fatigued with defending the system from constant legal and political pressures.

Hancock said it has not been easy to fend off all the attacks from playoff supporters.

"I think we all get a little tired of the invective," he said.

Listen Hancock, here is some fucking invective for you. It has been over a month since Oregon and Auburn played a down of football. They both had great regular seasons and instead of seeing them duke it out in a playoff and give a team like TCU a fighter's chance to shock the world we still get these bogus bowl games. Don't get me wrong. I'm still going to watch tonight. But tonight's game should be so much bigger than what it is. There should be this huge build up of momentum to college football's pinnacle game of the season but instead we have to listen to weeks of bullshit. The current system isn't even fair for Auburn or Oregon. The layoff is going to take a few series for them to shake the cobwebs off.

I just don't see how every other sport can have a playoff system yet we have these old white dickheads with corporate sponsors lining their pockets not willing to make a change. These are probably the same people who think it's ludicrous for a woman to leave the kitchen or the bedroom. "It would never work!" is what Hancock would say. There needs to be an antitrust lawsuit or dare I say the government needs to get involved because these assholes like Hancock are making too much money to change anything. The guy probably still has slaves on his plantation. Oh my bad, not slaves just "student-athletes" who can't even sell their own shit without getting crucified.

Ok, rant over. Go fuck yourself Hancock. We want playoffs. Not payoffs.

BRING IT ON YA FUKIN CHEESEHEADS!

Matty Ice and the boys are going to lay a hurting on the Packers. Sure the Packers beat the Eagles in Philly but that was only because David Akers and Michael Vick had money on the Packers. The Packers aren't going to run the ball like they did against the Falcons in the Dome. They are going to have to rely on Aaron Rodgers playing a near perfect game. Not going to happen. Cheesedicks are going down!

INSANE WIFFLE BALL PITCHER

I could hit that shit. Just give me a paddle.

WHO YOU TAKING TONIGHT?

ARE YOU TAKING THE UNDEFEATED SEC CHAMPS LED BY CAM NEWTON AND NICK FAIRLEY?



OR ARE YOU GOING WITH THE UNDEFEATED PAC 10 CHAMPS LED BY LAMICHAEL JAMES?



The spread is -3 in favor of Auburn but it seems a lot more people then I would have imagined are taking the Ducks. Personally I think Auburn is going to smoke them. War Cam Eagle is too damn big and powerful to be stopped. With that being said I'm hoping for a good game that comes down to a last possession like the 2005 game when Texas beat USC.

MARSHAWN LYNCH GOES BEAST MODE AGAINST THE SAINTS

Marshawn Lynch went all beast mode against the Saints with the game on the line and quite possibly had the best run in NFL Playoff history. He broke 8 tackles on this 67 yard jaunt. Are you fucking kidding me? I love how he just tossed #22 like a rag doll with his stiff arm. After this run the Seahawks owe Marshawn a bonus. I'm thinking a brand new gold tooth with 67 imprinted on it will do.

For all the Tecmo Bowl fans you should enjoy this. Just remember how nasty Bo Jackson was in this game. Marshawn does a fine Bo 2.0...

JIM HARBAUGH AND SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS AGREE TO 5-YEAR DEAL

According to ESPN's Adam Schefter Jim Harbaugh has agreed to a 5 year deal worth $25 million. This means Harbaugh won't have to move his family and the 49ers got the guy they always wanted. It also means Stanford will be scrambling for a new coach with a more than likely scenario of somebody from Harbaugh's staff getting promoted to head coach.

If you are a Michigan fan you knew this was coming. But no worries Michigan loyalists. The University plane was spotted down in Baton Rouge today according to SportsByBrooks.com. Supposedly the plane is owned by Richard Rogel who is a very wealthy and high ranking official at Michigan. Perhaps he was there to talk to Les Miles? Not possible today since LSU is in Dallas getting ready for the Cotton Bowl tonight. But maybe they were there to talk to Miles' agent. I will try to get confirmation from Kirk Herbstreit. He usually nails these things.

Please let this idiot be the next head coach at Michigan....

SOUNDS LIKE MICHAEL FLOYD IS STAYING AT NOTRE DAME

At least he is giving those hints on his Twitter account...

@IWilliams95 Yo all Ian think he hot shot cuz he going to the league screw u
15 hours ago Favorite Retweet Reply

floyd3 mike floyd
My dawg Henry @GaryGray4ND happy birthday may more 1 on 1s happen n the future hehe
6 Jan

floyd3 mike floyd
@krudy9 damn u gone forever:( goodluck
5 Jan

floyd3 mike floyd
@
@bnewman99 @GaryGray4ND the game is still well played by many of us your just mad u don't know how to play
5 Jan

floyd3 mike floyd
Decisions......decisions...
4 Jan

Right now according to most draft boards A.J Green, Julio Jones, Justin Blackmon, Jonathan Baldwin, and Torrey Smith are ranked ahead of Michael Floyd at the wide receiver position. Most projections have Floyd going late 2nd to 3rd round.

In other words: Please God let him stay at Notre Dame for his senior season.

Sincerely,

Notre Dame Nation

CUBS CLOSE TO ACQUIRING MATT GARZA

According to the good folks over at MLBTRADERUMORS.COM the Chicago Cubs are nearing a deal with the Tampa Bay Rays to acquire potential ace Matt Garza for some used tires. Ok not really used tires but some minor leaguers. Here is the latest...

11:54am: The deal is not completely done yet, but it's heading in that direction, according to Jon Paul Morosi of FOX Sports (on Twitter).

11:23am: Fernando Perez is going to the Cubs, according to Miles. The 27-year-old outfielder has a .234/.301/.351 line in 107 big league plate appearances. He hit .223/.280/.299 in 426 plate appearances at Triple-A last year.

10:45am: The Cubs and Rays have agreed to a trade that will send Matt Garza to Chicago, according to Bruce Levine of ESPNChicago.com. Chris Archer, Brandon Guyer, Robinson Chirinos, Hak-Ju Lee and Sam Fuld head to Tampa for Garza, a minor-league pitcher and a minor-league outfielder, Levine reports.

Garza, 27, posted a 3.91 ERA with 6.6 K/9, 2.8 BB/9 and a 35.8% ground ball rate in 204 2/3 innings for the Rays last year. He heads to arbitration for the second time this winter and is set to receive a raise from the $3.35MM salary he earned in 2010.

This would be a tremendous pickup for the Cubbies. Garza threw a no-hitter last season for the Rays and I can only imagine how he could dominate the NL Central when it comparison with the AL East. If Carlos Zambrano can rebound from psychoville and be a solid 2/3 along with Ryan Dempster, Randy Wells, and Carlos Silva then the Cubs could legitimately compete for the water downed NL Central.

AARON LYNCH DROPS COMMITMENT TO FSU, VISITING NOTRE DAME NEXT WEEK

The wonderful world of college football recruiting sprouted another shitbomb today with the news that DE Aaron Lynch will not be early enrolling with FSU after the US Army All-American Game this weekend and instead will visit Notre Dame. Where he was previously committed. Ruh roh. Here is the latest from Tomahawk Nation.

What we know right now:
- The talented defensive end's mother told Irish Sports Daily that he is re-opening his recruitment will take a visit to Notre Dame this weekend. Lynch was committed to Notre Dame before flipping to Florida State.
- Lynch's mother has been quite vocal about her preference for Aaron to attend Notre Dame. I don't believe any report about him de-committing until Aaron, and not his mother, says it.
- Lynch has pulled his Facebook page down.
- Lynch is still set to enroll at Florida State on Monday. It is believed that he cannot early-enroll at Notre Dame (different academic standards) like he could at Florida State.
- I think Lynch turns 18 on February 8th, and am not sure what effect that has on him signing a LOI.
- As of Noon Friday, FSU should still be considered the leader for Lynch's services.

So according to Irish Sports Daily Lynch will take another official visit to Notre Dame next Friday. This is potentially devastating news for FSU and an absolute steal for Notre Dame if it happens. By all reports from this week's practices Lynch has been one of the best defensive players and has the potential to be a monster in college. He has been practicing as a 3-4 defensive end this week with Notre Dame commit Stephon Tuitt on the other end. Apparently Tuitt has made an impression as his presence has freed up Lynch to pressure the quarterback. On top of that another Notre Dame target in Ishaq Williams (finalists are Syracuse, Penn State, and Notre Dame with Miami lurking) has been tremendous at the outside linebacker position when lined up with Tuitt and Lynch.

If all three or even 2 of the 3 wind up at Notre Dame on National Signing Day it would be a tremendous coup for Notre Dame. A lot can change between now and then as the Lynch bombshell proved today.

IrishIllustrated.com's Pete Sampson caught up with Lynch after practice today (1:30 pm) and got this from the horse's mouth:

Just talked to Aaron Lynch, who said he's decommitted from Florida State and a minute later said he's just opening things up. "Nothing's finalized yet. I've got to talk to the coaches there and see what's going on." Lynch plans to officially visit ND next week. He talked to Tony Alford this morning. More later...

Here is some film of Lynch from his senior season...

ANDREW LUCK STAYING IN COLLEGE, JIM HARBAUGH TO THE DOLPHINS

Two scenarios not many people expected happened today as reports are Andrew Luck has decided to stay for his senior season and skip the NFL Draft as the sure fire #1 pick and Stanford head coach Jim Harbaugh will go to the Miami Dolphins.EDIT: NOT GOING TO THE DOLPHINS NOW!
First I got to applaud the Luck decision. Right now on paper it looks sort of dumb to pass up all those millions the Carolina Panthers were going to give him as the #1 pick (probably guaranteed at least $30 million in signing bonus alone) but the kid obviously enjoys playing football at Stanford and has a legitimate shot of not only earning a degree before he goes pro but also a chance to compete for a National Title and enjoy his senior season with his teammates. Plus as an Atlanta Falcon's fan I would much rather go against Jimmy Clausen twice a year than Luck.

"I am committed to earning my degree in architectural design from Stanford University and am on track to accomplish this at the completion of the spring quarter of 2012," Luck said in a statement. The school announced that Luck wouldn't be made available for comment.

His father, former NFL quarterback Oliver Luck, said: "This is a win-win for him. He gets to spend another year at Stanford, be part of team that will be highly ranked again next year, finish his degree and enjoy Palo Alto.

"It's not like the NFL is going anywhere, it's one of the best run leagues in the world. It will still be there when he graduates."

I know Luck is going to get a lot of shit from the blogs and forums but I think he made a great decision. He wants to win at Stanford and earn his degree and like his dad said the millions will always be there. A lot of people think he is the best QB prospect since Peyton Manning. Manning came back his senior season and still was the #1 pick and people tend to forget Sam Bradford came back to Oklahoma last year, got hurt, and still went #1. Don't bring up Jake Locker and Matt Leinart or even Brady Quinn. None of those guys have near the talent of Luck. Luck will still be the #1 pick in 2012.

As for Harbaugh I'm ecstatic he is leaving to go to the Miami Dolphins as a Notre Dame fan. Not only is he leaving Stanford who put an absolute hurting on the Fighting Irish this year but my fear of him possibly going back to his alma mater will never materialize and Michigan will still suck balls. Win/win for all Notre Dame fans today with the Harbaugh decision. Part of me will miss Harbaugh in the college game. The guy is a winner and as much as I detest all things Michigan I have a lot of respect for the way he revitalized the Stanford football program. They won 1 game before he got there. This year they only lost 1 game to Oregon. Pretty remarkable coach if you ask me.

Last year I got to watch up close and in person Luck outplay Clausen in a classic battle that came down to the wire in late November in Palo Alto. It was the end of the Weis era (thank God) and if it wasn't for Luck along with Toby Gerhart Notre Dame might still be stuck with Charlie. Instead the Irish have Brian Kelly and now Florida is stuck with Weis. Fantastic. Next year will be a battle to see if Notre Dame can make it to a BCS Bowl game and if Stanford can possibly stay undefeated and play for a National Title along with Luck trying to win the Heisman when they meet again in late November.

And yes I will be there. I already can't wait for fall 2011.

OAKLAND A'S PITCHER CRAIG BRESLOW DOES HIS BEST REX RYAN PARODY

I feel dirty just watching this. He does in fact have a very pretty left hand. It looks so soft. I just want to put my nose in there and cuddle with it all day.

ANOTHER GOOD REASON TO NEVER LIVE OR VISIT CHINA

Oh you know besides the way they treat their own people how about the fact that they have fucking Tigers killing bus drivers!!!

BEIJING — A rare Siberian tiger attacked and killed a tour bus driver in northern China while the man's horrified passengers watched, Chinese media reported.

The tiger pounced on driver Jin Shijun and dragged him into the forest after he got out to check on his bus, which was stuck in the snow at the world's largest Siberian tiger breeding base in the northern province of Heilongjiang, the official Xinhua News Agency said.

The bus was full of tourists visiting the breeding center, and Jin broke safety guidelines by leaving the vehicle, the report said. Park employees tried to distract the tiger with firecrackers and tranquilizer darts, but when they managed to get to Jin, the driver was already dead.

The report on Monday's attack cited a spokesman at the base, which has about 1,000 Siberian tigers.

Siberian tigers are one of the world's rarest species. An estimated 300 are left in the wild, but more than 5,000 are kept on farms and wildlife parks across China.

Yeah no thanks. I would much rather be here in the good ole United States. I'm thinking the Siberian Tiger thought the bus driver was an Oregon grad. I see how that can be confusing.

BLAKE GRIFFIN IS DISGUSTING

Every fucking night this kid has a highlight dunk.

MICHIGAN FANS REACT TO ATHLETIC DIRECTOR DAVE BRANDON'S PRESS CONFERENCE

The Michigan folks seem to be taking it well. No Jim Harbaugh. Who would have thought he would take double the money to land a cushy NFL job and not his alma mater?

Almost everybody actually.

Don't worry Michigan. You got Brody Hoke possibly walking through that door this weekend to accept the job. As for his interview I'll let you judge yourself...

WAR EAGLE BABY, WAR EAGLE BABY

Not only is Auburn getting a hell of an athlete in Quan Bray but appears the Lagrange, GA product has future Rhodes Scholar written all across his face.

WAR EAGLE BABY! WAR EAGLE BABY!!! Spoken like a true scholar.

"A Sweet Dream or a Beautiful Nightmare"

Image Courtesy of the Athens Banner Herald

After a suffering the worst season under Mark Richt, UGA fans are beginning to lose hope on the future. While the in-state talent in Georgia has been billed as a "Dream Team" by UGA coaches, the talent is not picking UGA and turning the idea of a "Dream Team" into nothing less than a nightmare. At the Under Armor All-American game, Xavier Dickson started the night by picking Alabama and Quan Bray ended the night by selecting Auburn. While I was praying for a surprise saving grace from Jay Rome, the nation's #1 Tight End was informed it was too late to make his college choice during the game.

As a loyal Dawg fan, I'm torn. While I don't believe there is a coach who would A) accept a position at UGA and B) do a better job than Richt currently out there, like a lot of UGA faithful, I'm beginning to doubt Richt can right the ship. It's been proven that UGA has been declining for the last three years. While I think Aaron Murray is a legitimate big time QB, I'm not sure the coaches have the ability to coach up the massive amount of talent UGA has around him. I'm going to ignore the comments regarding the talent not being at UGA because I can guarantee that three separate scouting bureaus combined with a program as tradition rich as UGA, who by the way does put players in the NFL more than most college teams, aren't wrong in saying that UGA does have the talent. What I'm beginning to doubt is that UGA has the staff in place to get the potential out of it's talented roster.

For the last few years, UGA has lacked the discipline and the heart that was ingrained in our program. The leadership of David Pollack, David Greene, DJ Shockley, Greg Blue, Thomas Davis, Champ Bailey, Boss Bailey, and Rennie Curran have yet to be replaced. Granted, Matt Stafford was the #1 pick in the draft ,but he never showed the team mentality that the Dawgs who have graced Sanford Stadium in the last ten years have shown. What UGA needs is players who bleed Red and Black, who show up each and every week, who commit themselves to becoming leaders, who have the desire to bust their butts every single day to make the team better, the integrity to honor the traditions of UGA and to represent the family that they have become a part of. UGA needs coaches who love UGA as much as the fans. The Bulldawg Nation needs leaders who don't just love Georgia, they live Georgia, they breath Georgia, they are Georgia.

Todd Grantham is becoming that, Aaron Murray is becoming that, Christian LeMay is becoming that, the Ogletree twins are becoming that, Jarvis Jones is becoming that, AJ Green is living it, Justin Houston is living it, the team has come together and as much as it pains me to say it, I think we're going to see a whole new Dawg next year.

I'm praying that Greg McGarity makes a difference. He was a superstar in waiting at Florida and is being given his shot to over take the Gators on top of the SEC Eastern Division. He's saying the right things, he's giving Richt every chance to win. I believe in McGarity and I believe in UGA.

Dawg Nation, I challenge you to unite, to stand up again, as one. I implore you to stand behind the decisions McGarity makes and to show up, just like we ask our boys in the Silver Britches to do. I ask you to believe in the Red and Black. Georgia is more than an institution, it's our home. Instead of continuing to tear it down, we have to learn to build it up, to help UGA get back on track and back where we belong. UGA may be down, but the Dawgs aren't dead.

THE 100 GREATEST MOVIE INSULTS OF ALL TIME

AGAINST ALL ODDS I'M TAKING OHIO STATE TO COVER THE -3.5

I know all of my bowl picks have been right on the money and I've probably made you more than the winning Mega Millions ticket tonight but you got to trust me on this one: Ohio State will not only beat a SEC team in a bowl game but cover the spread. Stop laughing. I'm being dead serious.

Look Arkansas is not that great of a team. Sure they are out of the SEC and from everything we have seen in the past the SEC completely dominates and embarrasses the Big Ten when it comes to football. SEC > Big Ten. We know this. What we don't know is how good Arkansas really is especially when it comes to a BCS Bowl game. They have never played in one and the Buckeyes play in one every year because of the shitty Big Ten conference. Maybe I'm over thinking it but I don't think Arkansas can hang with Ohio State. If Arkansas had Andrew Luck or Cam Newton I would take them straight up. But instead they got Ryan Mallett. A Michigan transfer. Yep. Michigan never beats Ohio State and Mallett won't be the first.

Prediction: Ohio State 31 Arkansas 20

TYROD TAYLOR PULLS TECMO BOWL MOVE

This was basically the one highlight for the Hokies last night. In a close game at halftime (Stanford led 13-12) was quickly turned into a blowout as Andrew Luck went off and the Stanford defense led by Shane Skov shut down Tyrod Taylor. Stanford crushed 40-12 and now Luck and head coach Jim Harbaugh can ride into the NFL sunset.

So let the rumors begin for Harbaugh.

Carolina in a package deal with Luck who have the #1 pick?

Stay in the Bay Area and coach the 49ers?

Go to Denver to help Stanford grad John Elway revitalize the once proud Broncos franchise?

Or maybe just stay in Miami the site of the Orange Bowl to coach the Dolphins?

We should find out within the next 3 days.

RICH RODRIGUEZ IS OUT AT MICHIGAN, BRADY HOKE TO BE NAMED HEAD COACH ON FRIDAY

I will have more on this later but it appears the University of Michigan has called for a 2pm press conference today to announce the firing of Rich Rodriguez. It has been as plain as day from the beginning that DickRod was never going to work in Ann Arbor. It appears the 52-14 bowl shellacking was the final straw.

Current San Diego State Brady Hoke will be the new head coach. Hoke is a "Michigan Man" and I believe will do an excellent job at Michigan. If you can make the Aztecs and Ball State winners there is little doubt he can succeed in the Big Ten. In case you were wondering Stanford head coach and former Wolverine QB Jim Harbaugh was their #1 candidate but he is going to the NFL along with Andrew Luck.

END OF THE SEASON SPECIAL: NOTRE DAME GAME DAY FOOTBALLS FOR $80

The regular retail price on these official Wilson Notre Dame Game Model Authentic f1003 GST footballs are $199. I usually sell them for half that price but now that the season is over I'm selling them for even lower: $80. I got 5 left in stock so order quickly before they are gone.

LIBERTY BOWL PUNCH-OUT!!!

Not all was glorious for the SEC so far in the bowls. In what was easily the most boring and predictable game so far, Central Florida won their first bowl game ever by knocking out Georgia with a left cross. Georgia fans immediately rationalized the loss by calling for offensive coordinator's Mike Bobo's head.

Don't worry Georgia fans. There are brighter days ahead. It's only about 240 more days till you get to play Boise State in the Georgia Dome. Oh fuck. Nevermind.

ESPN'S HANNAH STORM AND ADAM SCHEFTER HIGH FIVING OVER ERIC MANGINI GETTING CANNED BY THE CLEVELAND BROWNS

You gotta love the professionalism that ESPN displayed here over Eric Mangini getting fired. They obviously didn't think they were on air because they quickly changed their mood from pure joy to seriousness. Schefter even checks his phone in the "oh shit there goes a contact within the Brown's organization."

TERRELLE PRYOR AND KIRK HERBSTREIT SOUND LIKE JILTED EX-LOVERS

As if the Big Ten wasn't a big enough disgrace after New Year's Day (Michigan and Michigan State got absolutely smoked, Wisconsin losing to TCU in the Rose Bowl, Penn State looking slow and old versus Florida) now we have the she said/she said battle of barbs from Ohio State QB Terrelle Pryor and former Buckeye and current ESPN College Football commentator Kirk Herbstreit.

Herbie was upfront about his thoughts on Pryor. He doesn't think he is a leader and has shown poor judgement ever since he stepped foot in Columbus. He basically said losing Pryor would be "addition by subtraction." Of course the Buckeyes won't be losing Pryor for the Sugar Bowl because they would get embarrassed on National TV versus another SEC team in Arkansas. They still might get embarrassed.

Pryor was asked about what he thought of the comments made by Herbie.

"I don't worry about what Kirk Herbstreit says, to be honest with you."

After a pause, he added, "Has he beat Michigan?"

Zing! Yes Herbie went 0-4-1 vs. Michigan and Pryor is undefeated vs. Michigan. But Michigan didn't have RichRod as their coach in the late 80's. In fact they were a competent powerhouse so to speak. Now they just get blown out 52-14 in bowl games to the likes of Mississippi State.

Listen I have no dog in this battle of words. But both of these guys are obviously embarrassed by their words. They need to just confront each other and hug it out like all Buckeyes do.

BLAKE GRIFFIN WITH JUST ANOTHER HO-HUM DUNK

While watching the Hawks win yesterday over the Clippers (great weekend for an Atlanta fan's perspective: Thrashers win 2, Falcons clinch home field) I couldn't help but be impressed by power forward Blake Griffin. This kid would be the face of the NBA if he didn't play for the Clippers. Every night he has a highlight reel dunk. Every single night. In just his first season after coming back from a broken kneecap that wiped away his whole rookie season the young Griffin is averaging 21.7 points and 12.5 rebounds. He still needs to work on his free throw shooting and he has the ability to hit from beyond the arc but once he gets it down we might be arguing about Blake Griffin as the best NBA player instead of the usual Lebron-Kobe-Dwight talk.

CHARLIE WEIS BRINGING HIS DECIDED SCHEMATIC ADVANTAGE TO FLORIDA. WAIT A SECOND. SERIOUSLY?

Taking a cue from the Trojan's department on "how to demolish an elite football program" it appears the University of Florida has decided to not only go with a first time head coach in Will Muschamp (Ron Zook worked out well the first time) but now they have hired the ultimate arrogant asshole in Charlie Weis. No worries Gator fans since along with his healthy appetite and perfect SAT score he brings his "decided schematic advantage." So SEC fans and foes you better get your laughs in now because Weis will have the Gators offense rolling with fade passes into the endzone in no time.

Here is what the Gators get with Charlie Weis:

1) A target for ridicule
2) Charlie Weis Jr. (apparently this is the reason why Sr. took the job, to help get his son into Florida and coaching, sounds like BS)
3) John Brantley will now emerge from his season of god awful shittiness and be a Heisman contender who gets sucker punched in bars. Mel Kiper will also tell us Brantley is the second coming of Tom Brady only to see the guy fall flat on his face on Draft Day.
4) Piccadily and Ryan's Steakhouse stock just went up two fold in Gainesville.
5) An offense that besides 2007 when it reached the depths of unholy hell will be scoring at least 30 points a game.
6) No drive sustaining running game of any kind.

Listen I'm probably one of the few people who actually liked Charlie Weis. Sure he is not a joy to look at and his bull shit bravado talk can get unnerving especially when Notre Dame was getting smacked around by the likes of Syracuse and Navy but I always felt he tried his hardest to succeed while he was the head coach. The same couldn't be said for Davie and Willingham. The big guy will be the first one to the office and the last to leave. He will give everything he can to Florida in order for them to get blown out in a bowl game. I feel the same way I did three years ago when Michigan hired Rich Rodriguez. It just doesn't fit. Weis and Florida are polar opposites. The man is going to need an air conditioned golf cart just to survive Gainesville.

No worries though Florida football players. With Weis you also get a packaged extra helping of Bruce Springstein and Jon Bon Jovi blaring over your PA system as you practice every single day. Because it's all about you the kids and not what the big guy likes to jerk off to.

When I first heard the news "Weis to Florida" all I could do is shake my head and wonder why he would take a demotion and leave the NFL once again. Now all I can do is laugh. Florida is stuck with him. Awesome.

THE SUN BOWL AKA SNOW BOWL TODAY PREDICTION

Picture courtesy of Matt Cashore

Here is the weather report from IrishIllustrated.com's Pete Sampson...

Up in the pressbox at the Sun Bowl looking down on a snow-covered field, which is being "cleared" by a golf cart pulling some kind of plow. Other officials are clearly the yard lines by dragging their field the width of the field to show every 10-yard mark. Notre Dame officials have taken matters into their own hands on the sidelines, scraping away snow with folding chairs, card tables and rakes. I spy one shovel in the whole crew.

By halftime the field should be cleared off. Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous.

That's right folks, we got some snow in El Paso. Clearly Notre Dame decided to bring the arctic blast with them in order to freeze out the tropical Miami Cocanes. According to Vegas Da U is a 3 point favorite. They have no head coach and their quarterback blows and they will be playing in the snow against a hot Notre Dame team. Yeah. You know who I'm fucking taking here.

The Catholics will be bringing a steady dose of Cierre Wood and Robert Hughes all game and try to shove it down the Canes throats. Notre Dame's defense will be relentless and cause at least 3 picks from Jacory Harris. Miami will dig themselves to big of a hole to get out of and the Irish will cruise despite a late scare.


Prediction: Catholics 21 Convicts 17

Go Irish!!!

EVERETT GOLSON'S SENIOR FILM IS OUTSTANDING

I can't wait for this kid to be competing in South Bend this spring.

Elusive runner: Check.

Rocket arm: Check.

Throwing accuracy: Check.

Proven winner: Check.

Everett Golson brings back memories of Charlie Ward ripping it up down in Semenhole Country. He's 6 foot at best but the way he moves around the pocket and keeps his head down field even when under pressure is reminiscent to Ward when he was winning a Heisman. Golson will be the perfect fit for Brian Kelly's spread offense. He's extremely accurate and quick with his decisions. I'm not going to go out on a limb and say he starts next season as a true freshman but I do believe one of the other quarterbacks (sophomores Tommy Rees, Andrew Hendrix, and Luke Massa) will transfer due to Golson jumping ahead of them.

TIME TO RISE UP AND CLINCH THE HOME FIELD FOR THE FALCONS

No more posts after this one. I'm already wrapped in four layers of clothing getting ready to head down to the Dome to see the Falcons beat the shit out of the Saints. The tailgating gear is packed. The beer is cold. I won't be able to feel anything since it's in the 20's down here in "Hot"lanta but I could care less. It's time for the Atlanta Falcons and Matty Ice to clinch home field for the eventual NFC Champions Atlanta Falcons. You got that right folks. The Falcons will be going to Dallas in early February and yes we are going to fuck up Tom Brady. Mark it down. Put it in stone.

Falcons Fever Bitches!


Image courtesy of AJC.com

INGA FROM SWEDEN SAYS MERRY CHRISTMAS (AND NEEDS A SPANK)

I wanted to send everyone out with a Merry Christmas and since you are naughty I might as well give you a spanking.

The talking banana in this video brought tears of laughter. This might be the greatest Christmas song of all-time by the way.

Bucknuts Busted...

Five Ohio State players will sit out the first five games of next season and one additional player will sit out the first game of next season, all for receiving improper benefits as far back as 2009. One of these players is Ohio State QB Terrell Pryor who was recently quoted on Twitter as saying "I paid for my tattoos. GoBucks". I have tattoos and a job that pays well and I couldn't afford the work Pryor has. He paid for tatts and I'm running for president. In the words of Dr. Gregory House, "IDIOT!".

What I don't quite get is how these players, who have been found to have been receiving improper benefits for 2 years are punished for 5 games. Why have the victories not been forfeited? How are these guys playing in the bowl game? Looks like the NCAA plays favorites. I don't give a crap if all of these guys play, plus their 2011 recruits. I can't wait to watch Arkansas blow out yet another over rated Ohio State team. They probably shouldn't play and save themselves another embarrassing SEC loss then complain they didn't have their entire team.

Check out the full story here as reported by ESPN.com and the Associate Press

COLUMBUS, Ohio -- Five Ohio State football players, including quarterback Terrelle Pryor, must sit out the first five games of the 2011 season for accepting improper benefits, the NCAA ruled Thursday.

A sixth football player must sit out the first game in 2011 for receiving discounted services in violation of NCAA rules.

All of the players be eligible for the Jan. 4 Allstate Sugar Bowl, however.

Five players were found to have sold awards, gifts and university apparel, plus receive improper benefits in 2009. In addition to missing five games next season, Pryor, Mike Adams, Daniel Herron, Devier Posey and Solomon Thomas must repay money and benefits ranging in value from $1,000 to $2,500. The repayments must be made to a charity.

Jordan Whiting must sit out the first game next year and pay $150 to a charity for the value of services that were discounted because of his status as a student-athlete.

The NCAA announced the suspensions on Thursday, shortly before Ohio State athletic director Gene Smith and coach Jim Tressel were to meet with reporters to discuss the university's investigation of players trading autographs for tattoos.

Adams must repay $1,000 for selling his 2008 Big Ten championship ring and Herron must repay $1,150 for selling his football jersey, pants and shoes for $1,000 and receiving discounted services worth $150.

Posey must repay $1,250 for selling his 2008 Big Ten championship ring for $1,200 and receiving discounted services worth $50, while Pryor must repay $2,500 for selling his 2008 Big Ten championship ring, a 2009 Fiesta Bowl sportsmanship award and his 2008 Gold Pants, a gift from the university.

Solomon must repay $1,505 for selling his 2008 Big Ten championship ring for $1,000, his 2008 Gold Pants for $350 and receiving discounted services worth $155.

"These are significant penalties based on findings and information provided by the university," Kevin Lennon, NCAA vice president of academic and membership affairs, said in a statement released by the NCAA.

The players are eligibile for the bowl game because the NCAA determined they did not receive adequate rules education during the time period the violations occurred, Lennon said.

"We were not as explicit with our student-athlete education as we should have been in the 2007-08 and 2008-09 academic years regarding the sale of apparel, awards and gifts issued by the athletics department," Ohio State athletic director Gene Smith said in a statement. "We began to significantly improve our education in November of 2009 to address these issues. After going through this experience, we will further enhance our education for all our student-athletes as we move forward."

REX RYAN DOESN'T DENY THE FOOT FETISH VIDEO

You know I never thought I would see the day where boisterous Rex Ryan was just be flat out embarrassed. Now I just feel bad for the guy. But then again if it was such a private issue then why is he and the wifey making videos and posting them on the internet? The New York Media is going to eat this guy alive starting with the feet.

TAKE BOISE STATE TO COVER TONIGHT

Besides the hiccup against Nevada in which their kicker pulled a Finkle Boise State has been straight up crushing teams. They get to vent off some frustration tonight in the Las Vegas Bowl vs. Utah. Kellen Moore is going to be throwing bombs all game and I don't think this game will even be close. Utah maybe a top 20 team but Boise is really a top 4 team.

Take Boise State to cover the 16 and go make some god damn foot fetish snuff films.

Prediction: Boise State 48 Utah 17

"LET'S GO EAT A GOD DAMN FOOT" FETISH REX RYAN VIDEO

This is a video of Rex Ryan's wife, Michelle, showing off her feet while Rex narrates and apparently gets off on the sight of his wife's feet. Out of all the fetishes I never understood the foot thing. Feet are nasty. Give me some boobs, ass, lips, and legs and I can understand the fascination. But feet? Gross.

Get your shit straightened out Rex. Or go get a god damn snack. Stop being a jackass.

LINGERIE FOOTBALL BENCH CLEARING BRAWL

If that douchebag Geno whatever the fuck his name is who coaches women's basketball at UCONN wants the media and the world to actually care about their stupid winning streak maybe they should take a cue card from the Lingerie Football League. Actually never mind. I don't even watch Ultimate Fighting because there is too much ball grabbing and random nut shots. I could only imagine what it would be like with women's basketball. It's been a while since I've made myself vomit but I think I just broke the streak with the thought. Fuck.

Dan Connolly... my hero

Who says lineman can't run?!?!? Mr. Connolly, I love you, you're my hero. Check out the video on YouTube.