SportsCrack Blog

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Here Are The Two Old Geezers Who Fought Because Of The Kentucky vs Louisville Rivalry



Yeah I know what you are thinking. This is a clear case of a "Hate Crime." Both of these old fuckers can't stand each other because one wears Kentucky blue while the other wears Louisville blood red. It's just a matter of time before Jessie Jackson and that other fat bastard show up for the cameras.

Anyways on to the actual game this weekend. Has there ever been a bigger match up of two coaches who just ooze sleaziness? You have Calipari vs Pitino. It's like rooting for your favorite politician or car salesman. Two dirty dirtbags who five years from now will be long gone from the Bluegrass state but will leave probation behind.

It hurts to say but I will be rooting for Kentucky here. Not because I like them or have some blind allegiance to a SEC team like some of my inbred friends down here in Atlanta but because I have cold hard cash on them winning the National Title. I may not like Kentucky, Calipari, or that kid with a smear shit stain for an eyebrow but I do like the green.

Video via The Big Lead via Kentucky Sports Radio

Georgia Football Loves Their Pot Brownies


Returning All-American safety Bacari Rambo came back for his senior season to not only improve his draft status, have fun in Athens and hopefully get his degree (seriously do they give those out?) but to partake in some pot brownies during Spring Break.

Yes you read that right. Rambo has been suspended the first 4 games of the season because he failed a drug test and is blaming the pot brownies according to his high school coach.

Rambo tested positive after eating some brownies that he did not realize contained marijuana during a spring break trip with friends to Panama City, Fla., according to Ingram, who has talked to Rambo.

“Some kids had them that were staying with him and he said he got high,” Ingram said. “He thought the things had marijuana in them. He sat there a couple of hours and didn’t know what to do. He said he if he turned himself in he’d get a four-game suspension for a second offense.”

Rambo was suspended for the season-opener last year against Boise State. He tied for second in the nation in interceptions.

“He said he was tested five or six times last year and came back clean,” Ingram said. “He said, 'Coach, I’m not stupid. I came back to the University of Georgia to be an All-American two years in a row. I could have went in the NFL.’”

Ingram, who said he speaks to Rambo a couple of times a week, portrayed Rambo as a two-time victim of circumstance.


Losing Rambo is huge considering the Bulldogs secondary is already depleted with depth issues. In fact last week they made the puzzling move of switching positions of freshman All-American WR Malcolm Mitchell to cornerback and now it becomes more apparent why they had to make the move. Cornerback Sanders Commings is suspended for the first 2 games and the other corner Branden Smith is also facing at least an one game suspension for possession of marijuana. Three other players including two corners were kicked off the team in February when they stole items from a dorm room.

Luckily for the Dawgs their schedule isn't too difficult early on with Buffalo, Florida Atlantic, and Vanderbilt within the first 4 games but the trip in week 2 to Columbia, Missouri to face a Mizzou team that will be hyped up playing it's first SEC game. Oh and did I mention starting linebacker Alec Ogletree is suspended two games for violation of team rules too?

Basically the same shit happens every offseason for Georgia. It's a good thing they gave head coach Mark Richt a big extension though with his stellar 3 year run going.

My Thoughts On The Notre Dame Quarterback Position



The biggest question going into this spring for the Notre Dame football program was who would earn the starting quarterback position going into the 2012 season? If you watched last season you clearly see the difference between Notre Dame being a 11-2 or 12-1 BCS team and instead finishing a disappointing 8-5 again last season were the obvious deficiencies in the quarterback position. Last season Dayne Crist, Tommy Rees, and Andrew Hendrix all did one thing that held Notre Dame's program from being elite: they turned the ball over.

Crist was suppose to be the next Brady Quinn. He looked the part and had the size, smarts, and charisma to become "the guy." Unfortunately multiple knee injuries and a "deer in headlights" performance when big situations were needed from Dayne prevented him from reaching his potential. Crist was benched after a horrific first half against South Florida in the first game. Crist has now transferred to Kansas to finish out his career. Sophomore Tommy Rees replaced Crist in South Florida and despite having some good moments (led a spirited 2nd half comeback vs USF) he quickly earned the nickname "Turnover Tommy." Rees is the least talented of all the returning QBs on the roster but he has the best knowledge of the playbook which in head coach Brian Kelly's mind gave him the leg up last season. Rees also has the most experience with 16 starts under his belt.

But let me be perfectly clear on one thing: if Rees starts next season the Fighting Irish are in serious trouble. I like Rees but his limitations are obvious: he doesn't have a strong arm and he folds quicker than origami under pressure because he is extremely slow footed. He also had 14 interceptions, tons of lost fumbles, and got sacked not because the offensive line brokedown but because he has the escapability of a blind snail. So honestly if Rees starts vs Navy in Ireland you should be very afraid if you are a Notre Dame fan because it's going to be a very long and tedious season.

Which brings us to the other 3 guys vying for the starting position. Let's start off with Andrew Hendrix. Hendrix will be a junior academically and has a much stronger arm than Rees. He also can tuck the ball and run and in his limited playing time nearly racked up 200 yards on the ground including a 78 yard scamper vs Air Force. Hendrix threw only 37 passes last season but from what I saw he definitely had better zip and threw a much tighter spiral with a quicker release than Rees. The only problem was like Rees he is a turnover machine and it never seemed like he was in control of the offense. If Hendrix is starting in 2012 I would also be very afraid of the consequences.

Which leads us to the two guys who have yet to take a snap for Notre Dame: redshirt freshman Everett Golson and true freshman Gunner Kiel.

First of all let's talk about Kiel. Kiel is the nephew of Blair Kiel who was a star QB back in the early 80's at ND. Gunner is also the #1 prep quarterback from last season and the most highly recruited since Jimmy Clausen arrived in a limo 5 years ago. Gunner has great mechanics and has the body to start right away. What he doesn't have is the experience or the respect from the other players to be given full confidence as a starter from coach Kelly. No true freshman should be expected to start in major collegiate football and the best thing for Kiel and the program is to be on the red hat brigade on the sidelines and learn by watching.

So that leaves us with who I think is the best option: Golson. Golson enrolled early at Notre Dame last season and while he didn't see any gametime during his freshman season he did earn Scout team MVP. If you have had the chance to watch Golson in high school down in South Carolina the first person I thought of when seeing him make spectacular throws and eluding the defense while playing some really good competition in the Palmetto State was former Heisman Trophy winner Charlie Ward of FSU. Just like Ward Golson isn't a big guy (generously listed at 6 foot 185 but more like 5'10 175) but he ran a spread offense in high school that used his natural abilities of quick release, strong arm, accuracy of throws and the ability to tuck and run to the best of his abilities. He won multiple state championships in football and also won them in basketball as the starting point guard. Can you see the similarities with Ward who also won in the NBA? The only thing that separated Golson from being a 5 star can't miss prospect coming out of high school was a couple of inches in height. In college it won't matter.

From what I have been hearing from current players on the roster and some who have gone on is that Golson is THE MAN. I've also heard that Coach Kelly knows this and the reason why the QB position is still wide open (according to what Kelly gives the media) is because he doesn't want anybody to transfer going into the fall. This is obviously a smart move since injuries do happen. But make no mistake Golson is the best QB for Notre Dame right now. I've heard he is perfectly suited for Kelly's spread attack offense and despite having some struggles picking it up last season during a difficult transition year being a freshman his knowledge and more importantly his confidence have risen exponentially. Golson keeps his head on a swivel and also downfield at all times even when pressured. You would think with his athletic ability he would be looking to run first when given the chance but Golson keeps his eyes towards his X, Y, and Z targets and delivers a great ball for his receivers to make plays in the open field.

2012 will hopefully be the year of the Mt. Everett. In order for Notre Dame to get back to reaching the pinnacle of the college football landscape they are going to need Golson to be the leader and show them the way. And much like Charlie Ward with what he did while at FSU I think Golson will be the guy come game time in Dublin.

Go Irish!

Jason Heyward Made a Nice Catch


SportsGrid.com has this spectacular .gif of Atlanta Braves right fielder Jason Heyward robbing the Yankees Raul Ibanez of a home run. This is definitely one of the better catches I have seen in a while and for a guy with the stature of Heyward (listed 6'5 and 240 lbs) shows how nimble of an athlete he is.

Sometimes it's hard to remember how young Heyward really is and at the age of 22 he still has a lot of baseball in him. Yes last year he struggled mightily in his sophomore season because he continued to try to pull the ball just like the end of his rookie season.

Heyward has obvious holes in his swing and when he is off he rolls his hands and hits grounders to the right side. Chipper Jones has been working on Heyward's swing path and his ability to drive the ball up the middle and to the opposite field since last year. With Heyward's god given ability there is no physical reason why he shouldn't be a Major League superstar barring injuries. But the key for Heyward this season and moving forward is to listen to guys like Chipper and follow the ball to the bat and try not to yank everything to the right side of the field. Heyward has an excellent eye so it's really just a mental part of the game he needs to get over. Can he do it? Sure. Will he do it? The 2012 season will be a good barometer.

There is little doubt the Braves need Heyward to be a superstar in order to contend for a playoff spot in a division that got much harder this offseason with the Nationals and Marlins both making significant upgrades in personnel. If Heyward can make adjustments like rookie Freddie Freeman did last season then I can see him putting up good numbers (.360 OBA, .800 plus OPS, drive in 100 plus) in a spot in the lineup with plenty of protections with guys like Dan Uggla, Brian McCann, Freeman, Chipper, and Martin Prado hitting around the big guy. Heyward has to step up and be the superstar everyone projected him to be when he took Carlos Zambrano's fastball on Opening Day and sent it express shipping to the Varsity.

The good news for Braves fans is Heyward is making adjustments this spring. Despite a slow start yesterday he hit a clutch, game tying 2-run bomb in the ninth. It was Heyward's 3rd homer of the spring and helped push his average over the infamous Mendoza line to .209. He still has a ways to go but as I mentioned before he is still young and it's way too early to give up on him like Jeff Francoeur. Hopefully his career progresses like the Chippers, McCanns, and now Freemans of Braves farmhands so Heyward can become the face of the franchise again.

Basically no more excuses for Heyward. It's time to perform in his 3rd big league season or it's going to be another long season for the Bravos.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Marcus Camby With The Full Court Shot



The referees should have let it count. It look like it was out of Marcus Camby's hand just as the clock hit "zero point zero." It's time to protest people. Everybody needs to show up at their local state capital in a Rocket's Camby Jersey with a basketball in their hand. We can't let this injustice break our country.

Video via Hot Clicks

Monday, March 26, 2012

This guy is the Kenny Powers of pitching coaches



I absolutely love the passion displayed here by pitching coach Buddy York. You can tell he wants to win more than any of those players in that locker room. With that being said it's hard not to chuckle at some guy wearing a 'PEANUTS" uniform screaming obscenities. I mean it's human nature to laugh a little right? The guy has a fucking smiling peanut slapped on his chest.

Everything York said here was correct. It drives me insane when a pitcher gets behind in the count 2-0 especially if you are out in the field. It's hot as shit and we are wearing pants and all I can think about is the cold beer, I mean water, in the dugout that is just calling my name. Let the hitter hit and the defense make the plays is my motto. There is nothing worse than standing out on a scorching field with your pitcher throwing ball after ball and your sweaty nuts are swollen inside your uncomfortable cup because Smoke can't find the strike zone.

I give York a solid 8 on the speech. I was waiting for him to throw some shit or cut a player off the team. Now watch York lose his job because he used naughty words and some pussy complains to the GM.

Via BarStoolSports

Texas Rangers Go Big With $26 Hot Dog



Big League Stew has discovered the back-to-back American League Champions Texas Rangers will be serving a monster size hot dog the length of a baseball bat with a pound of pork and Josh Hamilton fall off the wagon hooker spit included. Ok I will admit the hooker spit is not yet included. Apparently the marketing department frowns on it. I'm not a big hot dog fan (cue the gay jokes) but I've always been an Italian sausage and/or brat type of guy. The best sausage I've ever gotten (again cue the gay jokes) was in Oakland back in the late 80's when the Bash Brothers were sticking needles in their asses. It was called a red hot and holy shit that thing lived up to it's billing. My Dad and I were sweating harder than Doc Gooden in a Manhattan night club stall.

Any ways the Rangers claim this $26 baseball bat of a dog can feed a family of four. Everything apparently is bigger in Texas including the stadium dogs and with toppings including cheese, onions, and peppers I hope the toilets are lot bigger too. I feel a bowel movement stirring in the bullpen just staring at that fucking thing.

Friday, March 23, 2012

Satan and Jesus Discuss Peyton Manning



"I got Rex Ryan's soul for a Little Debbie Cupcake!"....now that is fucking priceless.

Alabama Face Guy Hits Up Los Angeles



The Man...The Myth...The Alabama Face Guy.

Is it just me or do all males from Alabama talk with a southern lisp? It's almost as if instead of circumcision they decide to sting the boys with yellow jackets on their tongue as a rite of passage.

Hornets Jason Smith is on the Saints Payroll, takes out Blake Griffin




I've never heard of this Jason Smith fellow before this clip but next time he decides to take out Blake Griffin I would recommend wrapping up. Shoulder tackles are so fucking Pop Warner it's not even funny.

Of course leave it up to the people of New Orleans to give Smith a standing ovation for the cheap shot. How anybody ever felt good for that fucking city when the Saints won a Super Bowl clearly had the DNA of Satan himself.

If you look closely you can see Sean Payton slipping Smith an envelope of cash as he left the court.

Joba Chamberlain Dislocates His Dignity




As if the Yankees didn't have enough shit to deal with when it comes to Joba Chamberlain and his expanding waistline now they have to grapple with a serious ankle injury from get this: playing with his son on a trampoline. What an asshole this Joba guy is! I mean if you are going to have a significant ankle injury as GM Brian Cashman calls it you might as well do it in the Mickey Mantle noble way of hitting a base awkwardly or slipping in a drunken haze while trying to stuff a 10 spot in Ginger's garter at Scores.

When reached for comment on the seriousness of his ankle injury while still battling his way back in rehab from Tommy John surgery last season Joba was his typical aloof self...

Kim Kardashian's Coke Dealer Has Parkinsons



I mean look at that blow just everywhere. This is why when you're in Hollywood you get a coke dealer who doesn't go to treatment centers with Michael J Fox. Columbian bam bam fucking everywhere.

By the way this has to be some kind of fake publicity stunt right? She gets bombed right on the red carpet, goes in the back, and comes out look brand new and fresh. Only cyborgs and Joan Rivers are capable of shit that fast.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Another Reason You Don't Move to Russia



Mother Russia literally has huge shit explosions from their sewers. Yeah I think I will pass on the shit sandwich today thank you very much. You know one of those poor bastards was just walking to get their ration of bread and vodka and next you know they have a fresh nugget wedged in their mouth.

Rex Ryan Has Already Been Tebowed



Rex Ryan in a restaurant...who would have thought? Now let's go get a god d---- snack!

Via BarStoolSports

NMA.TV Basically Implies Tebow Could Be Going To Hell Playing In New York



Fucking hysterical. You can't trust those New Yorkers with their luscious apples. Beware of the forbidden fruit Tebow.

Chipper Jones Will Retire


According to Dave O'Brien 2012 will be the final season we see Larry "Chipper" Jones playing in an Atlanta Braves uniform.

This will be it for Chipper Jones.

The Braves third baseman will announce later today that he is playing his final season.

According to a statement by the team, the Braves and Jones have expressed interest in rejoining the organization in a yet-to-be-determined capacity after 2012.


I'm not going to lie. It's going to be really hard to see Chipper walk away from the game. He is one of the three best switch hitters of all-time (Mickey Mantle and Eddie Murray) and he's been a fixture in the Braves lineup since the early 90's when the Braves were rattling off division titles. He's only played for one franchise and he's taken less money to stay in Atlanta. If you are a die hard Braves fan like myself you can't have anything but respect for him and the way he has played his entire career.

It's going to be hard to imagine not seeing old #10 out there on the field. Along with Murphy, Horner, Smoltz, Andruw, and McCann he will go down as one of my favorite Braves of all-time. The first ballot Hall of Famer from what I've heard wants to coach the Braves and my hope is the franchise gives him a position whether it be hitting or base coach almost immediately upon retirement. Chipper has the acumen and knowledge to be a good manager in the not too distant future. If Ozzie Guillen can win a World Series managing the White Sox there is little reason to think Chipper can't with the Braves.

Thanks for all the memories Chip. Hopefully there will be many more after your playing career is over. Now let's hop on that crazy train and make 2012 a memorable one. Go out with a bang for the lonely Hooters waitress.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Tebowie Says Good Bye To Denver



Good job Jimmy Fallon.

Via Hot Clicks.

NFL Puts Bounty On Saints, Suspends Sean Payton


NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell waved his iron fist and then pounded it right on the Fleur De lis in New Orleans for the "BountyGate" fiasco today.

Here is what Goodell has taken away from the Saints, or now called the Taints.

-Head Coach Sean Payton suspended one year.
-Assistant coach Mickey Loomis suspended 8 games.
-Saints fined $500,000
-2nd round draft pick in 2012 and 2013.

Basically Roger pulled out his white glove and bitch slapped the Saints franchise. To say it's been a bad offseason for New Orleans would be an understatement. They have lost personnel, alienated their franchise QB, and now have been basically put on sanctions while losing scholarships. The good news is the city has not flooded...yet.

2012 does appear to be the end. The end of the Saints franchise that is.

Tim Tebow Traded To New York Jets for 4th Round Pick


If there was any lingering doubts whether Peyton Manning was in fact the only man in Denver who would be taking starting snaps behind center without annoying Tim Tebow questions being pestered at him those changed today upon news that Tebow has been traded to the New York Jets.

Tebow will now be a Jet and the Broncos will get a 4th round draft pick this year.

So now the media firestorm surrounding Tebow will move from Denver to New York with the most polarizing quarterback to play near Broadway since Joe Namath himself. I wonder what Mark Sanchez thinks about all this?

Sanchez shouldn't worry too much because Tebow is about as accurate of a passer as himself. Oh shit he should be worried. The first time Sanchez throws an interception you know the fans and media will be screaming for Jesus, I mean Tebow, to come in and save the day. If anything Tebow going to New York is going to dominate the headlines for at least the next few months. Wildcat talk will be all the rage on ESPN and I'm sure we will cross examine the personal lives of Sanchez and Tebow so much that neither will be beloved in NY.

It's kind of funny though we are in late March when college basketball and the upcoming baseball season should be all the rage of talk yet we can't get enough football whether it be college or the NFL. It's almost like we have a Tebowner for the pigskin.

In the meantime I got some Jesus 15 shirts I need to get rid of. Any takers? Should I just go ahead and ship them to Haiti?

Baylor's Brittney Griner Becomes Second Woman To Dunk In NCAA Tournament



Oh great, what's next? Voting or perhaps letting them drive. What is this world coming to?

/Rick Santorum

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Oklahoma State Just Upped The Ante In Shady College Football Ethics


Sure Ohio State had it's Liar Liar Vest on Fire scandal and Miami had it's Boats N Hoes but this new story about Oklahoma State taking out life insurance policies on their own boosters makes me sick to my stomach. Seriously I got to take a shit after reading this...

T. Boone gave some bad advice. Oklahoma State’s athletics department took out $10 million life insurance polices on 27 elderly boosters in 2007. The scheme was expected to reel in as much as $350 million. The Cowboys paid $33 million in premiums over two years before canceling the policies in 2009, when not one of the old codgers passed from this earth.

OSU tried to get out on a technicality, though a U.S. District Judge ruled the life insurance company could keep the money. This is sort of like that time where the athletics department lost $77 million investing in T. Boone’s hedge fund before the financial crisis.


How is this even legal? Taking out life insurance policies on some of your old boosters just smells wrong. I know college football programs gamble every year with huge overhead but you have to be kidding me with this shit.

I think we have to make a shirt for this right? It only seems fair. Best idea sent in gets a FREE SHIRT.

The Mile High Manning Denver Football Shirt



Here is our newest shirt called MILE HIGH MANNING. You may have heard the news about some guy named Peyton Manning going to Denver. 6 foot 5 with a rocket arm now in the Mile High City.

Taking preorders today. Adult sizes S-3XL.

Click here to order MILE HIGH MANNING SHIRTS

The Peyton Manning Welcome Mat Looks Familiar


Darren Rovell on WhoSay

Now this is how you start a rivalry game: Rangers and Devils brawl during opening faceoff



3 separate fights right off the opening faceoff! God I forgot how much I miss hockey. If you aren't a hockey fan it would be hard to explain but for my money the most entertaining live sport to go to is hockey. The passion, speed, hitting, passing, changing lines all on the fly while skating on a thin sheet of ice is often poetic. Clearly the New York Rangers and New Jersey Devils have a deep desire to beat the shit out of each other with fisticuffs and whom am I to argue?

The Rangers mean while "punched" their tickets to the playoffs with a 4-2 win. They have the #1 seed in the Eastern Conference with 10 games to play and a 3 point lead over the Pittsburgh Penguins. Good for them.

Via TheBigLead

Monday, March 19, 2012

I Want This Notre Dame Helmet To Become A Reality



This is just a prototype but I would love to see this helmet implemented for one game next season. The first game against Navy in Ireland would be perfect with the shamrock on it in my opinion. What do you think? Do you like it?

Here are some more faux Notre Dame helmet designs.

Phoenix's Kaley O'Kelley Curses Fuck When Hearing of the Peyton Manning News


Phoenix news anchor Kaley O'Kelley was clearly not ready for the "Peyton Manning to Broncos" news. You got to like the passion she displays and at least she did cry on air like that pussy college kid from St. Louis.

Via Jimmy Traina

WTF Is Wrong With SLU's Brian Conklin?



Did someone run over his dog? Did his parents just die in a plane crash? Did he just find out his brother is stricken with stage 4 cancer? Did two of his Final Four teams lose before the weekend? If not then why the fuck is this pussy crying about a basketball game? Good lord this is pathetic. I understand that you are passionate about the game but I would never cry about losing a game. Man the fuck up bro!

Via Barstool Sports

Reportedly Peyton Manning Picks The Broncos


Well if you ever wondered if Tim Tebow was going to lose his virginity never fear because Peyton Manning just screwed him. Not really but this is definitely a bold move by John Elway and the Denver Broncos organization.

Manning was reportedly down to San Francisco (who just signed Randy Moss and Mario Manningham to help entice Peyton) and Denver and apparently the Elway connection sealed the deal. Supposedly Manning and Elway are close and it probably didn't hurt to know that Elway won two Super Bowls after the age of 35 in Denver. Personally I'm still skeptical that Manning will have anything left in the tank.

So what happens to Tebow? Well Jacksonville would seem like a good fit but they just signed Chad Henne. Brady Quinn is no longer in Denver as he signed a free agent contract with the Chiefs this weekend so there is room for Tebow as a backup to Manning for at least the next year. Manning is one hit from his career being over so it would be a little early to say Tebowmania is done in the Mile High City.

I'm still lost why Manning didn't choose San Francisco. They got to the NFC Championship last year behind a great defense and they have playmakers on the offensive side of the ball in Frank Gore, Michael Crabtree, Vernon Davis, Moss and now Manningham. Plus they have a young, good offensive line and were shopping Alex Smith. The only reason I can think of not going to the 49ers is because Peyton wanted to stay in the AFC.

Classic Kenny Powers Last Night



Between Stevie shaving his head and eyebrows and Kenny throwing the ultimate Independence Day party that nobody showed up to because his Russian teammate was throwing a rave you had classic Kenny Powers on full force last night. You got racial jokes being thrown out left and right and you even have Kenny's retarded half brother show up. Vintage Powers folks. If you haven't watched this season of Eastbound and Down then you need to do yourself a favor and reattach that needle you call a cock and get on it.

By the way that shirt is fucking awesome.

Dick Vitale Looks Like My Bracket



And to think I thought my bracket was totally fucked up after Mizzou and FSU both lost this weekend but it doesn't even compare to this Dick Vitale interview on Chicago's WGN New station. My chances of winning any money went in the shitter as soon as Norfolk State couldn't miss a shot against Missouri on Friday. The thing that is the most frustrating is that Missouri didn't play all that bad it's just they couldn't prevent the ball from going into the hoop on defense. FSU just never looked comfortable yesterday versus Cincy and two late turnovers by Luke Loucks sealed the Semenholes fate.

My championship game remains alive with Kentucky and North Carolina both rolling into the sweet 16 but even that looks doubtful with the news that UNC point guard Kendall Marshall fractured his shooting wrist. The Tarheels have been battling the injury bug all season including big man John Henson who just returned from a sprained wrist. Without a healthy Marshall it will be hard to project the Tarheels in the championship game but they can always rely on crucial Tyler Zeller flop on a charge late in the game so you never know.

The only thing satisfying from this past weekend was watching Duke lose to Lehigh. It never gets old seeing Coach K squirm on the bench as his 2nd seeded Blue Devils got crushed by Lehigh in basically their backyard in Greensboro, NC. It was one of those David vs Goliath games and this time David kicked Duke square in the nuts and then pissed all over them. It was truly that beautiful of an anology.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Happy St. Patrick's Day Everybody!



May your day be filled with Guinness, Jameson, and drunk leprechauns on this glorious Saturday. May your liver explode in delight as you search for your pot of gold. May your spirits be lifted by this classic Leprechaun in Mobile Youtube clip.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Blake Griffin Airballs Back-to-Back Free Throws



I think Blake would have been better off trying to dunk those shots from the free throw lines then actually shooting it. If you ever wonder why Griffin seems to get anally penetrated every time he drives the lane then remember these free throws. He is only hitting 55% from the charity line this season. That is still 10x higher than anybody willing to buy a KIA.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Funny Or Die's Bracket Is Almost Identical To Mine



When I filled out my first bracket on Monday I initially had a Final Four of Kentucky, Syracuse, UNC...and get this shit...no kidding...Long Beach State. Yeah for some tripped out reason I convinced myself the 12th seeded Long Beach State would be this year's VCU or George Mason. Then I went back to it today and convinced myself that there is no fucking way they beat Missouri. Initially I also had Mizzou losing to Murray State in the sweet 16. That was obviously scratched. Mizzou could win the whole thing. They are that fucking good. So in the end I have Mizzou winning the West. The other team I had to scratch off was Syracuse. Losing Fab Melo is fucking huge. You can't lose your shot blocker, inside defensive presence guy who grabs a lot of boards right before the tournament and recover. Sorry it's just not possible. So now I got FSU beating them in the Elite 8. My other regions remain solid with UNC and Kentucky both winning and eventually meeting in the championship game. I know I probably sound like some front running douche but I'm really not. Kentucky, UNC, FSU, and Mizzou are 4 of the most impressive teams I have watched all season. Sure they can get upset but I guaranteed at least 2 of those 4 make it to New Orleans. Begrudgingly I took Kentucky to win it all. They got the best player in the nation in Anthony Davis and John Calipari is due to win a championship and get it stripped 3 years later. Shit he is way beyond due.

Honestly I could give two shits what happens in this tournament. This has been one of the worst years in college basketball that I can ever remember. There hasn't been one interesting story. No true superstars beside Anthony Davis and his unibrow is more famous than his game. Maryland and Georgia Tech were awful this year so I didn't really pay attention that much to the ACC. Notre Dame was playing out of their asses there for a while but now appear to be leveling off. I guess now since I really don't care about winning my pool I'm going to root for upsets. A Final Four of New Mexico St, Long Beach St, Loyola, and Detroit would be something interesting worth talking about and would surely make CBS executives, March Madness sponsors and Colin Cowherd blow their brains out. Now that would be fucking sweet and entertaining.

I want Dick Vitale yelling "ANARCHY BABY ANARCHY!!!!"

RG3 WASHINGTON DC FOOTBALL SHIRT



The Skins haven't had a franchise quarterback in decades but that all changed last week when they ponied up and made a HUGE trade to get the #2 pick in the upcoming NFL Draft. We all know the pick will be the incredible superstar RG3. Now you can get a piece of RG3 with this great t-shirt available only at SportsCrack TEES!!!!

Monday, March 12, 2012

Stevie's Inspirational Speech Made My Balls Tingle



Yeah I know this shit is from last week but Stevie's motivational speech needs to be posted for all of the SportsCrack Nation to see and hear. I'm not going to lie. I shed a couple of tears watching this. It's that fucking powerful. I'm positive if I had a friend like Stevie delivering inspirational speeches like this I could have destroyed in baseball. Instead I figured girls, drugs and alcohol were a lot more fun in high school than running sprints in the Georgia heat after school. Who won? Well clearly I did. Shit I wouldn't have changed anything looking back. But Stevie would have made me pause before destroying another psychedelic.

By the way the Kenny Powers line of "I don't want my dojo look like a place where Cabbage Kids come to fuck!" is right up there with the greatest lines in the show's history. If you haven't watched this season of Eastbound and Down then I truelly feel sorry for you. In fact just go away and don't ever comeback to this blog again because I already hate you.

The Honest Bachelor



Thanks to Andrew for sending in the opening scene from this season's The Bachelor. It's good to see the unedited parts where the Bachelor is completely honest with the contestants. That is reality tv. Not the shit we get to see tonight on ABC.

It's almost uncanny how much the bachelor looks like David Spade. Small world I guess.

3rd Annual SportsCrack.com March Madness Pool


Here is your chance to be a legend. Sure your life may suck because you sit in a cubicle all day and contemplate ways to kill your boss or tell a co worker to go F themselves but now you can forget all about that for at least the next 3 weeks. Join the SportsCrack.com March Madness Pool. It's FREE. It's fun. And the winner gets $100 worth of SportsCrack.com gear. 2nd place gets two free shirts. 3rd place gets one free shirt. 4th and lower gets loser tags. Don't be a loser. Be a winner and join today!

Friday, March 09, 2012

Bruce Springsteen and Neil Young Sing LMFAO's "Sexy and I Know It"



BRRRRRRRUUUUUUUCCCCCCCEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, March 08, 2012

Mo "Meaux" Isom vs Honey Badger



For some reason I've been ignoring this Mo Isom story down in LSU because I figured it was some butch trying out for the football team. Mo is clearly not a butch. In fact she is the homecoming queen who is not bad at all on the eyes and also a senior goal keeper who has a legit shot at doing a kickoff for Les Miles next year considering their place kickers were less than adequate last season. Hey it's a feel good story. Plus I'm not sure if you have heard about this Honey Badger fellow but he might become a household name soon.

We, meaning myself, would like to wish Mo nothing but the best of luck. She's a former Georgia prep soccer star and I married one so I feel like we know each other already in some strange down south way. Ok less talking and more pictures of Mo Isom...











Connor Powers Baseball Trick Shot Video Worth a Look



Just wondering out loud but do trick shot videos get guys laid? Because this shit San Diego Padres minor leaguer Connor Powers pulls most deservedly should. I mean I couldn't do a lot of this shit if I tried all day. The basketball trick shots don't seem nearly as hard as trying to hit a baseball right to a certain spot. So what do you think?

Via Hot Clicks

Peyton Manning and Jim Irsay Prove That Crying Is Allowed In Football



Trust me when I say this that it is extremely hard for me to find any sympathy for Jim Irsay when his father brutally ripped up Baltimore's hearts in the middle of the night with his Mayflower trucks but what can I say I guess I'm a softie. All too many times especially in professional sports I become very cynical of these athletes and the owners because in the end I think money is the ultimate goal for both. But for some reason I don't feel that way in this instance. Peyton Manning is by all accounts a great person and a great representative for the Colts franchise so you know it had to be extremely difficult for Irsay to let him go. But he honestly had no choice and I hope the fans of Indy can see that and not crucify him or the new QB in Andrew Luck.

I would have liked to seen Peyton retire yesterday. Look he has had 4 neck procedures in the past year alone. He's a hit away from facing serious consequences that could leave him regretting ever trying to make a comeback with another franchise. Peyton has nothing to prove at this point. He thinks otherwise. You have your ring. You have your money. You have your legacy. You have the respect of millions. Why risk it to play for another franchise at your age? I guess I just don't get it and I won't feel any sympathy towards Peyton if he seriously gets hurt with the Dolphins or Redskins or whoever else he decides to play for next season.

Right now my feeling is Peyton is on a parallel path to some old championship boxer who just doesn't know when to hang it up. Don't be Evander Holyfield fighting in Germany. Don't be Johnny Unitas playing with the Chargers. Be the guy who knew to walk away at the right time. John Elway went out on top when he could have played more seasons. Peyton isn't bigger than the game itself but I have this feeling he thinks he is and with his track record it would be hard to argue with him. I just have this horrible feeling the last time we will see Peyton in a football uniform will be him carted off on a stretcher. It doesn't need to be that way. Your family needs you more than any football team.

Don't be "that guy" Peyton. Be "the man" and walk away while you still can.

Wednesday, March 07, 2012

Kate Upton Esquire Video

And you thought you could come here to hear my thoughts on Peyton Manning's Era in Indy ending or the Saints Bounty "overblown" story? Nope. I'm just going to post this Kate Upton Esquire Magazine video and you can thank me later.

Tuesday, March 06, 2012

Kate Upton In Another Commercial: MLB 2K12 With Justin Verlander



Rated E for erection might be the best Youtube comment of all-time. It just hits the nail in the head.

Via Darren Rovell

Monday, March 05, 2012

This Would Be The Perfect Sports "Crack" Commercial



I mean does it get any fucking better? You know if I actually made money and wasn't scraping by on government cheese I would definitely make a commercial like this for SportsCrack. Some model just going around cracking stuff with her ass. It's Marketing 101. Shit we would probably be making more money than that dickhead who invented 5 Hour Energy. Who cares about having energy when you could be wearing a SportsCrack t-shirt that will get girls cracking nuts in their backside? It's fucking genius I tell you. First model to send in a video of her cracking nuts while wearing a SportsCrack shirt gets a free shirt and a thank you email. Ok shit I'll do two free shirts. I swear my generosity has kept this company from reaching it's ultimate goal: world domination.

The New Marlins Park Has An Aquarium Behind Home Plate



When I first heard the Marlins new stadium was going to have an aquarium behind home plate as the back stop I imagined something way over the top with an actual marlin or sailfish swimming around in a frenzy. Maybe it was all the drugs that still sweat out of my body to this day but now I am not nearly as excited after seeing this video posted of the aquarium. I mean there is no fucking way we are going to see the fish in the background when Hanley Ramirez decides not to run out a grounder in April. I'm sure they planned out the glass to be bullet proof but what if a foul ball somehow manages to hit a weak spot in the glass and it shatters? All in all though I think it's a cool feature and makes the new Miami Marlins stadium unique from others.

What isn't cool about the new stadium is the tacky home run feature that looks like it was designed by the production designer of The Birdcage. If you are going to go over the top go with the aquarium and not this monstrosity in the outfield.

Friday, March 02, 2012

J.P. Arencibia Does a Great Tim Kurkjian Imitation



Did you know that J.P. Arencibia is the only Blue Jay with the initials J and P to ever do an imitation of a current or non current ESPN MLB Analyst in the history of Canada and the WORLDDDDD! You just don't get it. I've invented a pill that gives worms to ex-girlfriends.

Minnesota Wild's Devin Setoguchi Is Graceful At Shootouts

Watching Devin Setoguchi during the shooutout of last night's game vs Montreal brought back distant memories of Mike Modano and other past Minnesota greats who could take the puck and do magical things with it.

And then get shot before taking an actual shot.


Via HoldOutSports

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

MLB Wild Cards Expanding This Season


According to Ken Rosenthal of Fox Sports Bud Selig has gotten his wish to expand the playoffs from the current 8 teams to 10 teams starting this season. From my understanding is two teams will have a one game playoff to determine who advances to the Wild Card stage. What it would have meant for last season is we could have seen the Atlanta Braves and Boston Red Sox continue their epic collapses for another game. I'm not really a big fan of expanded playoffs because the season is already way too long. They need to shorten the season and start it earlier while finishing it before October.

Baseball interest has been going down for years. Start spring training in February and the season in early March when sports is in it's doldrums. Do 144 games for the regular season. Have the playoffs start in September. If you want to expand the playoffs to 10 teams then fine but please start the season earlier. Once football is over it's excruciating trying to wait for the boys of summer to put on the cleats.

My new rules if I were in Bud Selig's shoes:
1) Spring Training 4 weeks starting in beginning of February.
2) 144 regular season games starting in early March.
3) Designated Hitters in both leagues.
4) 12 teams max make the playoffs.
5) Strict salary Cap with a max of $125 million and a minimum of $75 million. Whomever goes OVER or UNDER is not eligible for the playoffs and will lose revenue and draft picks. Make it strict!
6) And for shits and giggles no more 100 pitch counts just because I hate the pitch count. Arms shouldn't be measured by pitch count. It should be measured by MRI's.
7) MLB baseball takes ownership of the Baltimore Orioles, Pittsburgh Pirates and Los Angeles Dodgers because of incompetent ownership with a fair market value deal and sells it to someone who is willing to invest in their product.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Daytona 500 Highlights



A bunch of left turns, some wrecks, and some rain delays. Damn I can't believe I missed the excitement. Maybe next year I will actually give a shit.

Monday, February 27, 2012

2012 Top NFL Free Agents Predictions


NFL free agency begins March 13th and this year there are some huge names who could be switching uniforms. Unfortunately some of the biggest names will probably stay with their current team because they are too fucking good to just let them walk away. It's like having a good woman. You are not going to just let her walk away because you know it isn't going to get better without her rocking your shit every night.

1) Drew Brees-Don't worry New Orleans you are not going to lose Brees. Even at the age of 33 Brees continues to get better and is an elite QB who more than likely will have a bust in Canton. There is no way the Saints let him go. He will get a 6 year deal for over a $100 million with about $30 million in signing bonus.

2) Ray Rice-Rice has been dynamite in Baltimore and at the age of 25 still has at least 3 great years left on his tread. Like Brees I can't see the Ravens who run a great organization letting their best offensive player leave. The Ravens are trying to lock up QB Joe Flacco and it could effect how much they can give Rice. I say Rice resigns for six years at around $60 million with $20 million in signing bonus.

3) Mario Williams-Mario is coming off an injury and actually didn't contribute to the Texans first playoff run last season. Plus Houston doesn't have much cap room. Thus I see the Texans not resigning him. The Atlanta Falcons needs a pass rusher and Williams is the perfect fit especially with John Abraham leaving. Atlanta will sign him to 5 year contract for $65 million with $30 million in signing bonus.

4) Arian Foster-The Texans will lose Mario Williams because they will have to resign restricted free agent Foster. Foster is the focal point in the Texan's offense and will get paid accordingly. Foster will resign with Houston and get a similar deal to what Rice got with Baltimore: 6 years around $60 million. $20 million signing bonus.

5) Carl Nicks-Nicks is the best free agent guard when it comes to both pass blocking and run blocking and when you have a valuable piece like Brees to protect I find it very hard to believe the Saints will let Nicks go. Someway, some how the Saints will find cap room and resign Nicks although I am holding out hope he ends up in Atlanta. 8 years for $70 million. $25 million in signing bonus.

6) Matt Forte-Forte isn't staying in Chicago. Too much bad blood there especially since they didn't renegotiate his deal before his injury. The Bengals need a back and Forte would be a great fit. 4 year deal for $50 million. $22 million in signing bonus.

7) Cortland Finnegan-Finnegan is the top corner in the market and is just itching to get out of Tennessee. He seems like the type of player that Dallas would go after plus they need help in their secondary. The Cowboys will get their man with a 5 year deal for $48 million. $25 million in signing bonus.

8) Ben Grubbs-While losing Finnegan to free agency will hurt the Titans will gain a valuable guy to block for Chris Johnson in Baltimore free agent Grubbs. The Titans will sign Grubbs for 5 years at about $40 million. $14 million in signing bonus.

9) Cliff Avril-The Lions are one of the top up and coming teams in the NFL and Avril was a sack machine last year. The Lions have room to resign him and will do so. 4 year deal for $50 million to stay in Motown. $19 million in signing bonus.

10) Calais Campbell-The Cardinals want to resign Campbell but I don't think he wants to stay out west. The Hurricanes product is just entering his prime and the Dolphins have a need for a defensive end. In a way Campbell comes home and gets paid to be a professional athlete in the lovely city of Miami for the second time in his career.

Kate Upton Destroying Mankind With This Hardee's Commercial



Hardee's just hit a walk-off grand slam with this Kate Upton commercial. I think I honestly blacked out there for a while. This might be the greatest commercial ever. Fuck it. This IS THE GREATEST COMMERCIAL EVER!!!

Via HotClicks

Sacha Baron Cohen vs Ryan Seacrest



Trying to watch the Oscars is about as enjoyable as plucking your mole hairs but this shit Sacha Baron Cohen did to Ryan Seacrest on the red carpet was kind of funny. The amount of free advertising and publicity Cohen got for his new dictator movie for pulling this stunt is priceless. But the question everyone wants to know is who are those girls? I new dictators could get some good side pieces but those girls are super model quality. Someone needs to find out asap.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Ryan Braun Is Full Of Shit



Ryan Braun just pulled a Rafael Palmeiro. Listen I don't know Ryan Braun. I have never talked to him nor am I a Brewers fan. But I can tell he is lying.

There is no reason for MLB to go after one of their young superstars in Braun who is coming off a MVP season. He simply failed the test and got off on a technicality. There is a specific reason why MLB is pissed off. They know Braun's urine sample came out positive and it was through the roof by more than 3 times the highest level on record since they began testing.

Braun got off. He failed the test plain and simple. Every time I look at the Hebrew Hammer I can't help but think of Palmeiro in front of Congress. You can deny it all you want but there is no "boogeyman" tainting star ball players urine samples.

So either Braun is lying or some secret organization is out to "taint" Braun's reputation with a failed drug test. You be the judge.

Pearl Jam Sings "Jeremy Lin"



Yeah I know I promised I would stop with all the Jeremy Lin posts but shit, what else is there to talk about? Football and baseball are both not in season. Linsanity is basically the only interesting story happening right now in the sports world. I guess I could talk about Ryan Braun's winning appeal of a positive PED test but I have no idea what to believe or not in that whole case. Anyways Jimmy Fallon does a really good Eddie Vedder here and nails his newest hit "Jeremy (Lin)." Last night Lin had his worst game as a starter with as many turnovers as points (8) and the Knicks got smoked by the best team in the NBA in Miami. But all is not lost my friends. I had the Heat covering the 9 points.


Thursday, February 23, 2012

Shit Baseball Players Say



Not bad. I would like to add:

-It's so fucking hot out here.
-Catch the fucking ball.
-Don't be an asshole, run that shit out.
-Pick it bitch.
-My balls are swollen.
-I can hit this fucker.
-Don't worry they got a bunch of black players on their team.
-Kid has a cannon.
-Turn it.
-Move up in the box.
-ROCKET FIRE!
-Holy shit this guy throws slower than Jaime Moyer.
-Back in the day I used to play with ____.

Feel free to add your own in the comment section.

Tampa Slugger Evan Longoria Is Hitting Clean Up With Playboy Playmate Jaime Edmondson



I know it's gotta suck to be Tampa Bay Rays 3B Evan Longoria. Not only does Evan have to play baseball for money and suffer the humiliation of getting paid millions but now he has to deal with dating a charity case like Playboy Playmate Jaime Edmondson. I mean look at her! All busted up. Poor guy. You know it's not just the millions of American families out there suffering because the middle class keeps shrinking it's the ball players who have to face the adoring attention of having to stuff a Playboy bunny every other night. I feel bad for Longoria. I hope he can get through this tough time.

I'm praying for young Longoria.

Anywho back to pictures of his road beef...







Lighting Farts With David Alan Grier



Maybe it's because I have the mind of a 12 year old but farts are never not funny. The fact that David Alan Grier made a music video about lighting farts is gold in my book. I've got charred crack hair for memories of a childhood lost but never forgotten. Thanks David for the laughs.

Kate Upton Completely Nude



Granted you really can't see shit, well at least the important parts, of Kate Upton here in the magazine Muse (some fashion magazine bullshit) but that isn't going to stop me from posting it. It's my duty to get this young 19 year old that nobody has ever heard of some attention she deserves. I'm all about charity here folks. The charity of KAPOOW!

Kapoow=pageviews.

Via WWTDD

K-Swiss Blades By Kenny Powers



There are 3 things that an athlete needs to succeed: talent, strippers, and speed. Put all 3 of those together and you got Blades. A fucking crazy looking K-Swiss shoe that gives Patrick Willis the power to tackle wildebeests. That shit is real. And if people were wondering who would replace the late great Steve Jobs in terms of creativity and vision I think we all know who the answer is: Kenny Mother Fucking Powers.

Now go buy some Blades. And while you are at it go buy some SportsCrack shit. Don't be a dick. Do it. You know you want to.

Blake Griffin Dunks Over Multiple Nuggets



Great dunk and all Blake Griffin but I'm still pissed you couldn't cover the 9 vs the Nuggets last night. Sure you won by 8 but that doesn't do shit for me bro. You got to cover the spread before I start calling you a superstar. Yes the dunks are nice and you get hacked more often than Shaq did in his prime but if you want to be up there with the true legends you have to cover spreads for ole Fairchild. Jeremy Lin and the Knicks easily covered the 7 vs the Hawks last night. Mike Brey and his overachieving drunk leprechauns easily covered the 3 vs West Virginia last night too. If you want me to put you up on a pedestal like Brey and Lin then you gotta cover. Don't be a selfish asshole. Do it for me. Actually more importantly do it for my daughter. It's your fault I have to recycle diapers.

Thanks!

Degenerate

Jeremy Lin - Superior Lintellect Video



Is it bad that I raughed the whole time watching this Honey Badger-esque "Lintellect" video? Yeah I get it. I'm feeding into stereotypes about Asians being really good in arithmetic. We all know that's not wight.

Now go buy this Linsanity shirt!

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Missouri Tigers Fan Enjoys Polishing The Knob



Little Mizzou brat just showing up ESPN's own brat in Doug Gottlieb with the old fake polishing knobs move. Come on kid. You need some new material. Now go back to your meth lab and try not to blow up anything.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Davonte Neal Signs With Notre Dame



Notre Dame's 2012 class is finally done with the announcement that 5 star prospect Davonte Neal has signed after a day full of drama. Earlier today a press conference was scheduled inside Neal's elementary school where he was expected to announce his decision between Notre Dame and the home state Arizona Wildcats. Neal never showed up. FoxSportsArizona.com scrambled to give some good explanation of Neal's absence and the best they could come up with 3 weeks after National Signing Day is that Neal still had not made up his mind. Rumors surfaced there was a struggle between Neal's father who wanted him to go to Notre Dame and Davonte who wanted to stay close to home and go to Tucson.

At this point who knows what the truth is?

What we do know is Notre Dame just picked up a tremendous playmaker on offense who has the chance to make an immediate impact in the fall. On tape Neal reminds me a lot of Golden Tate when he came out of high school in Nashville. Both are around the 5'9, have good balance, great speed, and can break tackles with tremendous leg strength and are special teams standouts. For my money I think Neal will be the best player in Notre Dame's 2012 class. The kid has superstar written all over him and I would expect head coach Brian Kelly to use him immediately in much the same way he used Marty Gilyard at Cincinnati.

Kate Upton Says Good Morning From Australia



How would you like to be the guy in charge of dusting out the sand out of her vagina? Yeah I know. What a disgustingly degrading job that must be. Women don't know how easy they have it.

Bill Raftery Screams "Onions" To UCONN's Shabazz Napier's Game Winning 3



Apparently Bill Raftery's screaming basketball orgasm includes fetishes with onions. I don't know whether to laugh or hide in a corner. But one thing I do know is I love the passion Raftery displayed and with March Madness right around the corner I'm looking forward to some more "ONIONS!" and "SEND IT IN BIG FELLA!" calls.

Video via TheBigLead

Monday, February 20, 2012

Saturday Night Live Does A Linsanity Open


Thursday, February 16, 2012

Bar Refaeli and Chris Paul On A Trampoline



I've been told to stop the video at the 1:57 mark. I don't know why. Can you tell me?

I'm kind of surprised Chris Paul isn't more cut up. Bar looks ok but I'm really disappointed in Paul. You are a professional athlete. You shouldn't have baby fat or love handles. I'm sure it doesn't matter as there is little doubt Paul has been penetrating the lane despite Bar's zone defense if you catch my drift. What I'm trying to say is they definitely fucked. Body language doesn't lie.

Video via Ball Don't Lie

Jeremy Lin's Top 10 Plays



Ok this is it for a while with the Jeremy Lin stuff. The kid again led the Knicks to their 7th consecutive win with 13 assists last night. You can see his confidence is through the roof right now as it should be. Carmelo better not fuck it up come Sunday. I got thousands of LINSANITY shirts on the line here ya know? Daycare, diapers, and scotch doesn't pay for itself so don't go ball hogging Melo.

Donate to the Fairchild family fund by buying a LINSANITY Shirt today. Or you can buy one of our other kickass shirts. Either way my kid and crumpled up liver would be thankful.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Kate Upton Just Straight Up Killing It With Her Dance Moves



The SI cover girl is on a fucking rampage. Kate Upton could end wars. And probably start some. But anyway who gives a shit? Look at those dance moves! Just straight up killing it like Jeremy Lin.

Jeremy Lin Does It Again With Game Winning Shot...Linsanity Continues



This is turning into the best sports story in a long, long time. Jeremy Lin has gone from a player who wasn't recruited out of high school, wasn't drafted out of college, and was cut by two NBA teams to a NBA Legend. It's LINSANE! Last night Lin went for 27 points with 12 coming in the 4th quarter including this game winner 3 in the final second. It's a story of perseverance and ultimately it's the ultimate underdog story. Sort of like watching a real life Rudy. I'm not a New York fan by any means but I can't help but root for this kid. Lin is the guy that nobody gave a chance and now he is proving so many people wrong. It's a great story and I hope it continues.

Order your LINSANITY T-Shirt here...

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Happy Valentine's Day



Our "friends" Rosie Jones and Kaylee Carver would like to personally tell you Happy Valentine's Day. Now go open your presents. Remember kids...VD is the gift that keeps on giving.

Via Egotastic

Friday, February 10, 2012

Russell Westbrook's Dunk Nearly Causes Reggie Miller And Chris Webber Dunkgasms



Holy shit that was an unbelievable dunk from the Thunders Russell Westbrook and as you can tell by TNT announcers Reggie Miller and Chris Webber they had both dunkgasms. You usually don't witness or hear dunkgasms outside of Slam Dunk Contests so maybe this was a premature dunkgasm.

By the way the Thunder went on to lose to the lowly Kings. I know it doesn't really matter but when you have money on the Thunder winning it is kind of big fucking deal. Assholes.

Thursday, February 09, 2012

LINSANITY New York Basketball Shirts Now For Sale!

Taking preorders now on LINSANITY Shirt. 100% pre shrunk charcoal cotton tee with distressed screen printed graphic on the front. Shirts start shipping February 13 so get your orders in today. Limited quantities.

Evgeni Malkin with the beautiful spin-o-rama shootout goal

I got to be completely honest with you. I have not been following much hockey this year. It still pains me to think we lost our team here in Atlanta because of shitty ownership. I guess it still hurts a lot. Scratch that. It hurts a fucking ton plus I don't have any team to root for. But what I can root for is sick goals and this one by Evgeni Malkin brings back fond memories of Denis Savard with the Blackhawks and Canadians.

Kenny Powers Open Letter to Tim Tebow


Grantland.com has this hilarious open letter from the man, the myth, the legend himself Kenny Powers to some guy named Tim Tebow. I don't know, you may have heard of this Tebow fellow. After you are done reading it be sure to go out and buy a Subway foot long so Grantland.com can keep on blasting us with annoying ads.

As Yogi Berra famously said, "it's like Deja Vu came all over itself again."

The more I read about Tim Tebow, the more I see similarities to my own life story. Our story begins with a young mother- to-be who wants an abortion. Instead, she mans up and has the baby, giving birth to a son-child.

This special son-child makes a life out of bucking the odds. Though neither the strongest nor the fastest, he excels at sports. Many experts doubt the remarkable lad. They tell him he throws funny, and that he doesn't have the right physique for the game. It's science, they say. He'll only go so far.

But the Gifted Young Athlete refuses to let the doubters shit in his Wheaties. To hell with science. The Gifted Young Athlete knows that he has something stronger. He has God on his side. So he presses on and keeps a good attitude, and every time he beats the odds in life he proves the experts wrong.

Next thing you know, there are folks calling it a miracle. Maybe the Gifted Young Athlete is blessed by the Almighty, they say. Perhaps he really does have a fucking angel on his shoulder.

And suddenly the experts don't look like experts anymore. By now, our hero has upset a whole lot of people. There are those who simply don't like the idea of a man being favored by God. They feel his special relationship with Jesus diminishes their own somehow. If Jesus loves the Gifted Young Athlete, what does he think of the rest of us? Bunch of assholes?

So the haters multiply, and soon the resentment reaches a boiling point. And that's when the torches and pitchforks and long knives come out. Yes, the world is given a savior but they choose to crucify him instead. Who'd a thunk it? The same old fuckin' story.

Maybe that's why Jesus likes us so much to begin with. He sees a little of himself in there.

You see, Gifted Young Athlete, people look at us and they see all they don't have. It's like, "homeboy's over there gettin' 'er done! And Jesus loves him too! Fuck that guy."

But can you really blame them? Wouldn't you be pissed? Jesus helps us win at sports games, yet he's nowhere to be found when poor people need important medicine for their kid's infection, or when they're late on a mortgage payment. Think about it. There are folks in Africa who get AIDS without even being gay. Yet here Jesus is, helping me & Tebow out in sports, just because we're maybe a little bit cooler in his eyes. It's a raw deal, plain and simple. Even though he's hooking me up, I still see it's kind of a cocksucker move on Jesus's part.

But my advice to you, Mr. Tebow, from one Gifted Young Athlete to another: don't kill yourself trying to make sense of all the madness. Just hold on to your dick and have a good time. Believe me, it's all you can do. Make no apologies, either. Those are for weak people, and the haters will hate you anyway. It's not our fault we're awesome, playboy. It's Jesus's. As the gorgeous bitches in the makeup commercials used to say, "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful."

God Bless.

Kenny Powers
Shelby, NC


And this is why the internet was invented by Al Gore. How can you not love La Flama Blanca? He just told us that Jesus loves cool guys who are good at sports more than kids in Africa. And you know what? Powers is right. Preach on brotha man.

Jeremy Lin has started LINSANITY



New York Knicks rookie point guard and Harvard graduate Jeremy Lin (ladies calm down) completely crossed over the Wiz's John Wall last night and threw it down with author-ity in another remarkable game. Lin finished with 23 points and 10 assists in the 107-93 win over the Wizards. It won't approach Tebowing cult status but don't be surprised if LINSANITY takes over the NBA for the next couple of months. The Knicks and the NBA have needed a guy like this for a while. In his first 3 starts Lin has scored 25, 28, and now 23 points. If Lin keeps it up he could be one of the biggest superstars in basketball because he is a little guy who plays with emotion and also plays on the biggest stage in the Big Apple. LINSANITY has begun.

And yes a shirt is on the way.

Will Ferrell Does 80's Intro Night for Bulls vs Hornets



I always kinda figured Derrick Rose was a Notebook fan.

Wednesday, February 08, 2012

Two Girls Brawling at the Giants Super Bowl Parade



A couple of future "Real Housewives" right there. I could throw out a thousand different New York stereotypes but I will just let the video do my work. No need to waste my energy on these GINAS.



Video via TheBigLead via Guyism