LSUFreek on the Bobby Petrino Crash

The story that just keeps on giving. I promise I'll eventually stop talking about Bobby Petrino but I can't not post this great LSUFreek gif. With Petrino now gone I've been hearing some whore mongering rumors on the interweb that there was no motorcycle accident. Jessica Dorrell's fiance found out about the affair and beat the shit out of Petrino seems plausible. I mean how does Dorrell not have a scratch on her if she was in the accident with Petrino? Petrino suffered broken ribs so those had to be kicks in the gut while on the ground crying for mercy right?

BTW I love the Bill Clinton thumbs up. It just tops it all off for me. Complete epic gif from LSUFreek.

Bobby Petrino Fired According to Joe Schad

According to ESPN's Joe Schad Arkansas has decided to part ways with football head coach Bobby Petrino. Who would have thought the whole "if you nailed a girl half your age in your office who was engaged to someone you work with you yourself a currently married man with kids and then crashed your hog with your mistress with you while giving you reach arounds and then lie to your superiors about the whole thing" would get you fired? I just didn't see this coming at all. Sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants and now Petrino can enjoy his time off from his job, his family, shit basically his whole life.

Before you even ask the leading candidate and pretty much the only candidate I can think of to replace Petrino will be Arkansas State head coach Gus Malzahn, a former Razorback player and offensive coordinator. Malzahn is familiar with the conference, the state, and can recruit with the best of them. This might turn into an Ohio State situation where the school actually upgrades at the head coaching position despite a scandal. You gotta love college football!

The Ballad of Bobby Petrino Song

Via The Chris Vernon Show comes the ballad that is bound to become the state song of Arkansas. Alabama may have "Sweet Home Alabama" but they sure as shit don't have "The Ballad of Bobby Petrino."


Now go ahead and get the Bobby Petrino shirt you've been dying for...

Protesters Pushing Against Marlins Front Door Demanding Ozzie Guillen's Dismissal

The Miami Herald has this picture of hundreds of protesters freaking out because an idiot baseball manager said he likes Fidel Castro. This is actually great news for the Marlins organization. They now have more fans showing up to protest than people who buy tickets. As they say in business there is no such thing as bad publicity and the Marlins and Ozzie Guillen are getting a ton of it right now.

I still think they are there to protest that monstrosity in the outfield and not Guillen's words of support for ole Fidel. But hey maybe that's just me. Here are Guillen's exact words about Castro:

“He’s a bull—- dictator and everybody’s against him, and he still survives, has power. Still has a country behind him,’’ Ozzie replied. “Everywhere he goes, they roll out the red carpet. I don’t admire his philosophy; I admire him.’’

What do you think about Guillen's 5 game suspension? Too harsh or about right? Another shitstorm caused by the media distorting the words and facts?

Some Signs from the Pro-Bobby Petrino Rally

It's all about forgiving, forgetting, and of course winning in Arkansas. Woo Pig Sooie!!!!

Show your support for a non licensed t-shirt seller by buying this shirt.


Oh yeah here is a not weird at all video of the Save Coach Petrino Rally via ShirtsWithRandomTriangles

Blue Jays Female Fans Love Their J. P. Arencibia

Oh those funny Canadians are at it again. Our friendly neighbor up north gave us the hilarious "Kids in the Hall" series and imported such stars as Jim Carrey, Dan Akroyd, Leslie Nielsen, and Phil Hartman among others to our national airwaves. And now two young females Canucks are going after the funny sexual innuendo t-shirt business. Their infatuation is for Blue Jays catcher JP Arencibia who is known to throw from his knees...

"HEY JP, IT'S B-JAY TIME!" and "JP, CHECK OUT MY DUGOUT"

Remember ladies, no glove, no love.

Via TheBigLead via Jimmy Traina

Rob Gronkowski Wants The Madden '13 Cover Spikes The Shit Out Of Megatron

Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski is a free spirit you could say. Gronk led the NFL in touchdown receptions last year, fucks porn stars, rocks out Jersey Shore style with a gimpy ankle in night clubs after a Super Bowl loss, and now apparently has the smallest flat screen I've ever seen for a professional athlete. I guess I just presumed all famous athletes had like 90 inch televisions with 3D, LCD, Double D's, whatever included. Shit was I wrong. You gotta love the Fathead of himself up on the wall and the framed jersey of himself just chilling on the floor at his abode. It's good to know the NFL has humbled the Gronk when he isn't spiking the shit out of Megatron action figures.

Video via Deadspin

Guns Don't Kill People...Yoenis Cespedes Does

Talk about a fucking moon shot! Oakland A's rookie outfielder Yoenis Cespedes, the recent Cuban import, absolutely destroyed this lefty offering Friday night. Cespedes swing is just violence encapsulated. I was trying to think of who it reminded me of finally it came to me: Dante Bichette. It's uncanny how similar their swings are. Just four games into his major league career and the 26 year old has 3 bombs and 7 RBIs. Can we call him a Bash Brother yet? Nah...too premature. Give it 5 games.

Congrats to Bubba Watson

UGA's own Bubba Watson pulled off a spectacular 4 rounds at the Masters this weekend to win his first major and capture the famous green jacket. SportsCrack would like to congratulate Bubba on conquering Augusta with a near flawless performance and one of the best hook shots executed on #10 in the playoffs that we have ever seen. We grew up huge fans of "The Dukes of Hazzard" and it gives us great comfort to know that Bubba can now wear his green jacket while driving one of the General Lees he bought last year. So if you see this guy driving around Atlanta today in his General Lee give him a friendly honk...he just won the Masters!



Here's a tip of the cap to you Mr. Bubba Watson. Keep rocking those overalls and rocking out the pink driver with 350 yard bombs lefty...

Happy Easter From Kate Upton

THE NEW BOBBY PETRINO'S HOG RIDES ALWAYS GOOD FOR A REACH AROUND T-SHIRT

Ozzie Guillen's Postgame Routine is "Go To The Hotel Bar, Get Drunk, Sleep"

It's refreshing in a cynical sports world when an athlete or in this instance a manager can be honest when it comes to their drinking. The Miami Marlins new manager Ozzie Guillen was asked what he does on the road after the game. Guillen as always didn't shy away from the brutal truth according to Larry Brown Sports...

“I go to the hotel bar, get drunk, sleep,” Guillen said, according to Eye on Baseball. “I don’t do anything else.”

Guillen says he doesn’t even do much sight seeing when visiting cities.

“I get drunk because I’m happy we win or I get drunk because I’m very sad and disturbed because we lose,” Guillen said. “Same routine, it never changes. It’s been the same routine for 25, 28 years. It doesn’t change. I don’t like to go out.”

God bless you Ozzie Guillen. I would like to think Guillen drinks a lot because he is still plagued by the baseball gods (or in this case idiot writers) who gave him the Gold Glove in 1990 over Cal Ripken despite Ripken setting a major league record for fewest errors and highest fielding percentage by a shortstop. Having that kind of weight on your shoulders must be debilitating knowing you stole an award that clearly deserved to go to someone else.

Nah! He's just a drunk. Cheers!

College Football Needs A Gold Old Fashion Juicy Story: Bobby Petrino Abides With Motorcycle Crash

It's seems like it's been months since we have had a juicy college football story hit the news wire. 2012 so far has remained scandalous free up until Bobby Petrino decided to not only get in a motorcycle accident with his helmet off but was also carrying a young attractive blonde by the name of Jessica Dorrell. And like they say when your riding in tandems it's always kind to give a reach around. Deadspin.com has more details....

The police report for Arkansas coach Bobby Petrino's motorcycle crash on Sunday shows he had a previously unmentioned passenger: Jessica Dorrell, recently named student-athlete development coordinator for football.

OPERATOR PETRINO (V-1) WAS TRAVELING WEST ON HIS MOTORCYLE IN THE WESTBOUND LANE OF ARKANSASSTATE HIGHWAY 16 WITH PASSENGER DORRELL RIDING ON THE BACK. FOR AN UNKNOWN REASON, V-1 (PETRINO) TRAVELED ACROSSTHE WESTBOUND FOG LINE AS HE WAS APPLYING THE BRAKES. AFTER TRAVELING OFF THE NORTH SIDE OF THE ROADWAY THE REAROF V-1 (PETRINO'S MOTORCYCLE) BEGAN ROTATING COUNTERCLOCKWISE CAUSING V-1 (PETRINO) TO LAY OVER ONTO ITS LEFT SIDE.WHILE ON ITS LEFT SIDE, V-1 SLID NORTHWEST THROUGH A GRASSY ROAD DITCH, STRIKING A PILE OF DIRT AND TREE LIMBS IN THENORTH ROAD DITCH.

Dorrell was a four-time letterwinner in volleyball , and progressed to handling fundraising duties for the Razorback Foundation. Just last week she was named a development coordinator for the football team, and will "handle on-campus recruiting and work with incoming players on eligibility issues." It also seems she's supposed to get married in June. Her fiancé works for the swim team.

Arkansas's initial statement on Monday morning said the accident "involved no other individuals."

As an Atlanta Falcons fan who saw Petrino walk out in midseason on the team when the going got rough for Fayetteville this can't help but bring a huge grin to my face. Petrino is a snake. But the guy wins and he wins big so people put up with his shit. Now it will be interesting to see how Petrino addresses the situation. Apology to his family? Denies the allegations all together? Pull a Damon Evans and resign? Starts screaming PIG SOOI?



UPDATE: Bobby Petrino admits to "previously inappropriate relationship" and has been placed on administrative leave by the Arkansas Athletic Director. Basically he was boning Dorrell a girl half his age even though he is married with four kids. And this is in Arkansas. One can only imagine what Nick Saban is pulling in Tuscaloosa.

Here is another picture of Dorrell.


Look at the smirk on Petrino's face. He's probably getting foothead.

Rampage Jackson Has A Rape Video Out

I'm just going to go out on a limb and say that this was probably not the best decision by UFC star Rampage Jackson. It's a fairly awful attempt at humor. At least that is what I am hoping Rampage was going for. Because you know that whole rape thing is generally frowned upon. Unless it involves Catholics priests. Those jokes just never get old.

MLB 2012 Preseason Predictions

Bring me some peanuts, cracker jacks, and some fucking cold brewskis because baseball is back! The cumweed is fresh, the pitchers arms haven't yet fallen off, and every fanbase thinks they have a shot at going to the playoffs. You gotta love the start of the baseball season!

Here are my preseason predictions.

AL East Champs-Tampa Bay Rays. I got the Rays because of their excellent pitching winning a close divisional race over the Yankees. The Yankees have the better lineup but the Rays have the much better starting pitching and also the better manager while also playing in an environment that isn't the pressure cooker of the Bronx.

Predicted finish: Rays, Yankees, Red Sox, Blue Jays, Orioles

AL Central Champs-Detroit Tigers. The Tigers should run away with this division. They added Prince and their pitching will be better. Plus the Central is rather weak this year with the White Sox and Twins crumbling.

Predicted finish: Tigers, Indians, Twins, Royals, White Sox

AL West Champs-I obviously like the moves the Angels made in the offseason but I still gotta stick with the two time defending AL Champs in the Texas Rangers. The Rangers lineup is outstanding and although they lost CJ Wilson to the Angels I wouldn't be surprised to see his replacement in Yu Darvish put up better numbers.

Predicted finish: Rangers, Angels, A's, Mariners

Two Wild Cards-New York Yankees and Anaheim Angels. Yes this year there are two Wild Card teams in each league. Joy. We wouldn't want to focus on a salary cap or anything.

AL Champs-New York Yankees. Nope that is not a typo. It's a gut feeling the Yankees win the AL. Trust me I don't want it to happen.

AL MVP-Albert Pujols
AL Cy Young-Felix Hernandez
AL Rookie of the Year-Matt Moore

NL East Champs-The Phillies might not have a great lineup but their starting three of Halladay, Lee, and Hamels is unmatched in baseball. It will be a closer race than in the past with the Marlins and Nationals improving but the Mets should be horrible and the Braves will take a step back after a horrific September collapse.

Predicted finish: Phillies, Marlins, Nationals, Braves, Mets

NL Central Champs-Cincinnati Reds will bounce back after a disappointing 2011. The Cardinals still have a fighting chance despite losing their best player, their manager and their pitching coach and quite possibly their best pitcher if Chris Carpenter can't come back. This is going to be the best division not named the AL East. The Brewers still have a shot despite losing Prince and the Pirates should be better. Don't worry the Astros and the Cubs will still suck donkey balls.

Predicted finish: Reds, Cardinals, Brewers, Pirates, Cubs, Astros

NL West Champs-The San Francisco Giants should win the division because they have the best pitching. But then again they didn't last season and the surprising D' Backs took it so you never know what could happen. The Dodgers should be better with the best player and pitcher in the league leading the way. The Rockies and Padres just don't have enough talent to compete.

Predicted finish:Giants, Dodgers, Diamondbacks, Rockies, Padres

Two Wild Cards-St. Louis Cardinals and Miami Marlins. Both the Cards and the Marlins will barely miss out on winning their divisions but get the Wild Card as a consolation prize.

NL Champs-San Francisco Giants. I think the Giants bounce back in a big way this season and go back to the World Series.

NL MVP-Matt Kemp
NL Cy Young-Clayton Kershaw
NL Rookie of the Year-Bryce Harper

WORLD SERIES CHAMPS-San Francisco Giants over the New York Yankees in 6 games.

Blake Griffin Posterized Pau Gasol Twice Last Night

Click above for the awesome The Blake Show shirt.


The LA Clippers lost to the Lakers last night but that doesn't prevent me from posting these two insane dunks by one Blake Griffin. Here is the first dunk in which Griffin follows up a missed shot only to sky over Pau Gasol and throw it home emphatically. Watch the replay closely to see Gasol's face. Fucking priceless!


And then Griffin decided to do it again. This time he launches over Gasol and of course Gasol handles it like the bitch he is by complaining to the ref. Dude you got posterized twice! Take it like a man.


Videos via TheBigLead

Sport Science Shows Why Michael Floyd Will Be A Top 10 Pick

We have seen Michael Floyd for the past 4 seasons under the bright lights of the Golden Dome perform like a freak on the gridiron. There is a reason why Floyd holds school records in catches, career 100 yard games, receiving yards, and receiving touchdowns: he can't be stopped. We didn't need Sport Science to prove anything in regard to Floyd's playing ability but it does help solidify his standing as a top 10 pick.

One could make an argument for Justin Blackmon being the better receiver right now by the numbers he put up in the inflated Big 12 conference because he had a quarterback in Brandon Weeden who could throw precision passes against inferior defenses but honestly what kind of numbers do you think Floyd would have put up if he didn't have Tommy Rees throwing to him the past 2 seasons? 130 receptions per season? 1600 yards per season? I think it's fair to say that Michael Floyd will be the better receiver in the NFL and right now than Blackmon. He's 2-3 inches taller than Blackmon. He's faster than Blackmon (Floyd ran a 4.2 at the combine that Blackmon skipped). His vertical leap is better. He is stronger than Blackmon and he is bigger. So why is Blackmon a top 6 pick by most NFL draft pundits while Floyd is projected to go as low as 19?

I can't come up with an answer. What do you think?

Video HT: Dave

Brian Kelly Addresses Aaron Lynch's Absence Due To Fight, Louis Nix "Demotion" and Jamoris Slaughter's Move To Cornerback

Relax Notre Dame Nation. Aaron Lynch is not transferring. He got in a scuffle during Friday practice with offensive lineman Tate Nichols and apparently it was one in which punches were thrown. Lynch will come back to Notre Dame on Monday.

Louis Nix is now on the second team defense with true freshman Sheldon Day replacing him on the first unit. It sounds like Kelly and his staff want more consistency out of Nix during the spring and just haven't gotten it. I still expect to see Nix starting in the middle of Lynch and Stephon Tuitt come fall.

Jamoris Slaughter has been moved from his free safety position to the other starting cornerback position opposite Bennett Jackson. This move obviously means Lo Wood is not cutting it. The secondary will be the big question mark all season for the Irish after losing starters Gary Gray, Robert Blanton, and Harrison Smith to the NFL. Personally I'm not a fan of moving Slaughter to corner. Slaughter is an All-American candidate at safety and is probably the best hitter on the defense. I would rather see him facing the offense as opposed to having his back to the quarterback. Austin Collinsworth (son of Cris) will move into Slaughters starting spot at free safety playing along side Zeke Motta.

The good news coming out of Notre Dame recruiting today is the commitment of cornerback Devin Butler out of Washington D.C. Butler is the second corner and 10th commitment in the 2013 class. Butler picked ND over Penn State, Michigan, and Nebraska.

Expect another commitment soon from Georgia defensive end Isaac Rochell. The 5th rated strongside defensive end visited Notre Dame this past weekend and came away very impressed and ready to end the recruiting process. Rochell would be a huge get out of SEC Country as he has offers from across the nation.

Jonas Gray Game Used Worn Notre Dame Home Jersey

Now is your chance to own a piece of Notre Dame history. Last season tailback Jonas Gray averaged 7 yards per carry while rushing for 12 touchdowns during his senior season. Jonas brought back memories of ole #25 Rocket last season when he ran past Pittsburgh for a 79 yard game winning touchdown. Now you can own the same jersey he wore when coming out of the tunnel to play for the Fighting Irish.

The Jonas Gray Game Worn Notre Dame Jersey comes with a certificate of authenticity from Steiner Sports along with a matching hologram. The jersey size is 42. Only 1 available!

Britney Griner and Baylor Finish Off Remarkable 40-0 Season

Adam's Apple: check
Deep voice: check
Hormone levels: check

Finishing off 40-0 with a dude playing center in women's basketball: priceless.

Martin Kaymer Holes Out His Skip Shot Across The Masters 16th Pond

The Masters has many quirky traditions like sexism and racism but the best tradition by far is the practice round in which golfers attempt to skip a ball across the pond on the 16th. Yesterday Germany's Martin Kaymer holed one out. The crowd went nuts as you can hear from the Youtube video and Kaymer was allowed to finish his practice round. After all he is the master race: Aryan.

5'9 James Justice With The Between The Legs Slam

My neighbor Scott pointed out to me the NCAA slam dunk contest this past weekend and I completely forgot to post this amazing dunk by 5'9 guard James Justice from little Martin Methodist College in Tennessee. Justice won the contest with this between the legs throw down. Somewhere Spud Webb is smiling.

I Don't Think I Could Hang In This Game: Sepaktakraw

I consider myself somewhat athletic for a white guy in his 30's but even in my prime there is no fucking way I could play this game. I would have a torn groin on opening kickoff. Granted I pull my hammy these days when I fart so you can see how "athletic" I am.

Video HT: Dave

Maryland Now Has Orioles Mascot License Plates

If I still lived in Maryland I would definitely have one of these sweet new Orioles license plates offered by the Maryland DMV. But since I don't the question needs to be asked: When can I get a Braves one down here in Georgia? I don't want one with the tomahawk or the cursive A on it. I want the old school Braves chief Knockahoma as seen here. Georgia DMV has to make it happen. Hell you can make it politically correct by putting a slot machine or some empty beer cans near his face.

WHAT CAN BROW DO FOR YOU? #1 AND DONE 2012 CHAMPS T-shirt

Hey Kentucky fans have you ever wondered "WHAT CAN BROW DO FOR YOU?" Well he answered the question last night by delivering the 8th Championship in a season that ended in #1 AND DONE! Get the official UNIBROW Kentucky shirt here!

The NCAA Puts Education First, Spells Atlanta Wrong

Darren Rovell on WhoSay

It's good to know the Final Four will be in Alanta next year before I went ahead and dished out thousands for tickets to Atlanta.

One Shining Moment 2012

Kentucky won their 8th championship and first since 1998 last night and blah blah blah. This past season in college basketball was largely unremarkable. I guess the season will go down as Kentucky's "Won and Done" with John Calipari finally getting his slimy hands on his first championship but this tournament was pretty much boring as shit. I know college basketball won't change their rules but I would love to see what baseball has. Either you come out in the draft directly out of high school or you go to college and are not draft eligible till after your third season. I think it would make it a lot more interesting with players staying and being able to identify with the different programs instead of programs like Kentucky, Duke, North Carolina, etc. completely overhauling their starting lineup every offseason because all their freshman go to the NBA.

2012 will go down as the year of the unibrow.

Bar Refaeli Playing Tennis

Watching supermodel Bar Refaeli play tennis is so much more enjoyable then watching that Mongoloid on Baylor dunk the ball.

Via Hot Clicks

Norwegian Horse Racing Apparently Includes Humping

Well there you go. I've officially seen it all. Two Norwegian trolls just humping it up at a horse race.

Via TheBigLead

Here Are The Two Old Geezers Who Fought Because Of The Kentucky vs Louisville Rivalry

Yeah I know what you are thinking. This is a clear case of a "Hate Crime." Both of these old fuckers can't stand each other because one wears Kentucky blue while the other wears Louisville blood red. It's just a matter of time before Jessie Jackson and that other fat bastard show up for the cameras.

Anyways on to the actual game this weekend. Has there ever been a bigger match up of two coaches who just ooze sleaziness? You have Calipari vs Pitino. It's like rooting for your favorite politician or car salesman. Two dirty dirtbags who five years from now will be long gone from the Bluegrass state but will leave probation behind.

It hurts to say but I will be rooting for Kentucky here. Not because I like them or have some blind allegiance to a SEC team like some of my inbred friends down here in Atlanta but because I have cold hard cash on them winning the National Title. I may not like Kentucky, Calipari, or that kid with a smear shit stain for an eyebrow but I do like the green.

Video via The Big Lead via Kentucky Sports Radio

Georgia Football Loves Their Pot Brownies

Returning All-American safety Bacari Rambo came back for his senior season to not only improve his draft status, have fun in Athens and hopefully get his degree (seriously do they give those out?) but to partake in some pot brownies during Spring Break.

Yes you read that right. Rambo has been suspended the first 4 games of the season because he failed a drug test and is blaming the pot brownies according to his high school coach.

Rambo tested positive after eating some brownies that he did not realize contained marijuana during a spring break trip with friends to Panama City, Fla., according to Ingram, who has talked to Rambo.

“Some kids had them that were staying with him and he said he got high,” Ingram said. “He thought the things had marijuana in them. He sat there a couple of hours and didn’t know what to do. He said he if he turned himself in he’d get a four-game suspension for a second offense.”

Rambo was suspended for the season-opener last year against Boise State. He tied for second in the nation in interceptions.

“He said he was tested five or six times last year and came back clean,” Ingram said. “He said, 'Coach, I’m not stupid. I came back to the University of Georgia to be an All-American two years in a row. I could have went in the NFL.’”

Ingram, who said he speaks to Rambo a couple of times a week, portrayed Rambo as a two-time victim of circumstance.

Losing Rambo is huge considering the Bulldogs secondary is already depleted with depth issues. In fact last week they made the puzzling move of switching positions of freshman All-American WR Malcolm Mitchell to cornerback and now it becomes more apparent why they had to make the move. Cornerback Sanders Commings is suspended for the first 2 games and the other corner Branden Smith is also facing at least an one game suspension for possession of marijuana. Three other players including two corners were kicked off the team in February when they stole items from a dorm room.

Luckily for the Dawgs their schedule isn't too difficult early on with Buffalo, Florida Atlantic, and Vanderbilt within the first 4 games but the trip in week 2 to Columbia, Missouri to face a Mizzou team that will be hyped up playing it's first SEC game. Oh and did I mention starting linebacker Alec Ogletree is suspended two games for violation of team rules too?

Basically the same shit happens every offseason for Georgia. It's a good thing they gave head coach Mark Richt a big extension though with his stellar 3 year run going.

My Thoughts On The Notre Dame Quarterback Position

The biggest question going into this spring for the Notre Dame football program was who would earn the starting quarterback position going into the 2012 season? If you watched last season you clearly see the difference between Notre Dame being a 11-2 or 12-1 BCS team and instead finishing a disappointing 8-5 again last season were the obvious deficiencies in the quarterback position. Last season Dayne Crist, Tommy Rees, and Andrew Hendrix all did one thing that held Notre Dame's program from being elite: they turned the ball over.

Crist was suppose to be the next Brady Quinn. He looked the part and had the size, smarts, and charisma to become "the guy." Unfortunately multiple knee injuries and a "deer in headlights" performance when big situations were needed from Dayne prevented him from reaching his potential. Crist was benched after a horrific first half against South Florida in the first game. Crist has now transferred to Kansas to finish out his career. Sophomore Tommy Rees replaced Crist in South Florida and despite having some good moments (led a spirited 2nd half comeback vs USF) he quickly earned the nickname "Turnover Tommy." Rees is the least talented of all the returning QBs on the roster but he has the best knowledge of the playbook which in head coach Brian Kelly's mind gave him the leg up last season. Rees also has the most experience with 16 starts under his belt.

But let me be perfectly clear on one thing: if Rees starts next season the Fighting Irish are in serious trouble. I like Rees but his limitations are obvious: he doesn't have a strong arm and he folds quicker than origami under pressure because he is extremely slow footed. He also had 14 interceptions, tons of lost fumbles, and got sacked not because the offensive line brokedown but because he has the escapability of a blind snail. So honestly if Rees starts vs Navy in Ireland you should be very afraid if you are a Notre Dame fan because it's going to be a very long and tedious season.

Which brings us to the other 3 guys vying for the starting position. Let's start off with Andrew Hendrix. Hendrix will be a junior academically and has a much stronger arm than Rees. He also can tuck the ball and run and in his limited playing time nearly racked up 200 yards on the ground including a 78 yard scamper vs Air Force. Hendrix threw only 37 passes last season but from what I saw he definitely had better zip and threw a much tighter spiral with a quicker release than Rees. The only problem was like Rees he is a turnover machine and it never seemed like he was in control of the offense. If Hendrix is starting in 2012 I would also be very afraid of the consequences.

Which leads us to the two guys who have yet to take a snap for Notre Dame: redshirt freshman Everett Golson and true freshman Gunner Kiel.

First of all let's talk about Kiel. Kiel is the nephew of Blair Kiel who was a star QB back in the early 80's at ND. Gunner is also the #1 prep quarterback from last season and the most highly recruited since Jimmy Clausen arrived in a limo 5 years ago. Gunner has great mechanics and has the body to start right away. What he doesn't have is the experience or the respect from the other players to be given full confidence as a starter from coach Kelly. No true freshman should be expected to start in major collegiate football and the best thing for Kiel and the program is to be on the red hat brigade on the sidelines and learn by watching.

So that leaves us with who I think is the best option: Golson. Golson enrolled early at Notre Dame last season and while he didn't see any gametime during his freshman season he did earn Scout team MVP. If you have had the chance to watch Golson in high school down in South Carolina the first person I thought of when seeing him make spectacular throws and eluding the defense while playing some really good competition in the Palmetto State was former Heisman Trophy winner Charlie Ward of FSU. Just like Ward Golson isn't a big guy (generously listed at 6 foot 185 but more like 5'10 175) but he ran a spread offense in high school that used his natural abilities of quick release, strong arm, accuracy of throws and the ability to tuck and run to the best of his abilities. He won multiple state championships in football and also won them in basketball as the starting point guard. Can you see the similarities with Ward who also won in the NBA? The only thing that separated Golson from being a 5 star can't miss prospect coming out of high school was a couple of inches in height. In college it won't matter.

From what I have been hearing from current players on the roster and some who have gone on is that Golson is THE MAN. I've also heard that Coach Kelly knows this and the reason why the QB position is still wide open (according to what Kelly gives the media) is because he doesn't want anybody to transfer going into the fall. This is obviously a smart move since injuries do happen. But make no mistake Golson is the best QB for Notre Dame right now. I've heard he is perfectly suited for Kelly's spread attack offense and despite having some struggles picking it up last season during a difficult transition year being a freshman his knowledge and more importantly his confidence have risen exponentially. Golson keeps his head on a swivel and also downfield at all times even when pressured. You would think with his athletic ability he would be looking to run first when given the chance but Golson keeps his eyes towards his X, Y, and Z targets and delivers a great ball for his receivers to make plays in the open field.

2012 will hopefully be the year of the Mt. Everett. In order for Notre Dame to get back to reaching the pinnacle of the college football landscape they are going to need Golson to be the leader and show them the way. And much like Charlie Ward with what he did while at FSU I think Golson will be the guy come game time in Dublin.

Go Irish!

Jason Heyward Made a Nice Catch

SportsGrid.com has this spectacular .gif of Atlanta Braves right fielder Jason Heyward robbing the Yankees Raul Ibanez of a home run. This is definitely one of the better catches I have seen in a while and for a guy with the stature of Heyward (listed 6'5 and 240 lbs) shows how nimble of an athlete he is.

Sometimes it's hard to remember how young Heyward really is and at the age of 22 he still has a lot of baseball in him. Yes last year he struggled mightily in his sophomore season because he continued to try to pull the ball just like the end of his rookie season.

Heyward has obvious holes in his swing and when he is off he rolls his hands and hits grounders to the right side. Chipper Jones has been working on Heyward's swing path and his ability to drive the ball up the middle and to the opposite field since last year. With Heyward's god given ability there is no physical reason why he shouldn't be a Major League superstar barring injuries. But the key for Heyward this season and moving forward is to listen to guys like Chipper and follow the ball to the bat and try not to yank everything to the right side of the field. Heyward has an excellent eye so it's really just a mental part of the game he needs to get over. Can he do it? Sure. Will he do it? The 2012 season will be a good barometer.

There is little doubt the Braves need Heyward to be a superstar in order to contend for a playoff spot in a division that got much harder this offseason with the Nationals and Marlins both making significant upgrades in personnel. If Heyward can make adjustments like rookie Freddie Freeman did last season then I can see him putting up good numbers (.360 OBA, .800 plus OPS, drive in 100 plus) in a spot in the lineup with plenty of protections with guys like Dan Uggla, Brian McCann, Freeman, Chipper, and Martin Prado hitting around the big guy. Heyward has to step up and be the superstar everyone projected him to be when he took Carlos Zambrano's fastball on Opening Day and sent it express shipping to the Varsity.

The good news for Braves fans is Heyward is making adjustments this spring. Despite a slow start yesterday he hit a clutch, game tying 2-run bomb in the ninth. It was Heyward's 3rd homer of the spring and helped push his average over the infamous Mendoza line to .209. He still has a ways to go but as I mentioned before he is still young and it's way too early to give up on him like Jeff Francoeur. Hopefully his career progresses like the Chippers, McCanns, and now Freemans of Braves farmhands so Heyward can become the face of the franchise again.

Basically no more excuses for Heyward. It's time to perform in his 3rd big league season or it's going to be another long season for the Bravos.

Jason Heyward Robs a Homerun - Watch the top videos of the week here

Marcus Camby With The Full Court Shot

The referees should have let it count. It look like it was out of Marcus Camby's hand just as the clock hit "zero point zero." It's time to protest people. Everybody needs to show up at their local state capital in a Rocket's Camby Jersey with a basketball in their hand. We can't let this injustice break our country.

Video via Hot Clicks

This guy is the Kenny Powers of pitching coaches

I absolutely love the passion displayed here by pitching coach Buddy York. You can tell he wants to win more than any of those players in that locker room. With that being said it's hard not to chuckle at some guy wearing a 'PEANUTS" uniform screaming obscenities. I mean it's human nature to laugh a little right? The guy has a fucking smiling peanut slapped on his chest.

Everything York said here was correct. It drives me insane when a pitcher gets behind in the count 2-0 especially if you are out in the field. It's hot as shit and we are wearing pants and all I can think about is the cold beer, I mean water, in the dugout that is just calling my name. Let the hitter hit and the defense make the plays is my motto. There is nothing worse than standing out on a scorching field with your pitcher throwing ball after ball and your sweaty nuts are swollen inside your uncomfortable cup because Smoke can't find the strike zone.

I give York a solid 8 on the speech. I was waiting for him to throw some shit or cut a player off the team. Now watch York lose his job because he used naughty words and some pussy complains to the GM.

Via BarStoolSports

Texas Rangers Go Big With $26 Hot Dog

Big League Stew has discovered the back-to-back American League Champions Texas Rangers will be serving a monster size hot dog the length of a baseball bat with a pound of pork and Josh Hamilton fall off the wagon hooker spit included. Ok I will admit the hooker spit is not yet included. Apparently the marketing department frowns on it. I'm not a big hot dog fan (cue the gay jokes) but I've always been an Italian sausage and/or brat type of guy. The best sausage I've ever gotten (again cue the gay jokes) was in Oakland back in the late 80's when the Bash Brothers were sticking needles in their asses. It was called a red hot and holy shit that thing lived up to it's billing. My Dad and I were sweating harder than Doc Gooden in a Manhattan night club stall.

Any ways the Rangers claim this $26 baseball bat of a dog can feed a family of four. Everything apparently is bigger in Texas including the stadium dogs and with toppings including cheese, onions, and peppers I hope the toilets are lot bigger too. I feel a bowel movement stirring in the bullpen just staring at that fucking thing.

Satan and Jesus Discuss Peyton Manning

Satan and Jesus Discuss Peyton Manning from Ray Wise

"I got Rex Ryan's soul for a Little Debbie Cupcake!"....now that is fucking priceless.

Alabama Face Guy Hits Up Los Angeles

The Alabama Face Guy: Los Angeles from questlove

The Man...The Myth...The Alabama Face Guy.

Is it just me or do all males from Alabama talk with a southern lisp? It's almost as if instead of circumcision they decide to sting the boys with yellow jackets on their tongue as a rite of passage.

Hornets Jason Smith is on the Saints Payroll, takes out Blake Griffin

I've never heard of this Jason Smith fellow before this clip but next time he decides to take out Blake Griffin I would recommend wrapping up. Shoulder tackles are so fucking Pop Warner it's not even funny.

Of course leave it up to the people of New Orleans to give Smith a standing ovation for the cheap shot. How anybody ever felt good for that fucking city when the Saints won a Super Bowl clearly had the DNA of Satan himself.

If you look closely you can see Sean Payton slipping Smith an envelope of cash as he left the court.

Joba Chamberlain Dislocates His Dignity

As if the Yankees didn't have enough shit to deal with when it comes to Joba Chamberlain and his expanding waistline now they have to grapple with a serious ankle injury from get this: playing with his son on a trampoline. What an asshole this Joba guy is! I mean if you are going to have a significant ankle injury as GM Brian Cashman calls it you might as well do it in the Mickey Mantle noble way of hitting a base awkwardly or slipping in a drunken haze while trying to stuff a 10 spot in Ginger's garter at Scores.

When reached for comment on the seriousness of his ankle injury while still battling his way back in rehab from Tommy John surgery last season Joba was his typical aloof self...

Kim Kardashian's Coke Dealer Has Parkinsons

I mean look at that blow just everywhere. This is why when you're in Hollywood you get a coke dealer who doesn't go to treatment centers with Michael J Fox. Columbian bam bam fucking everywhere.

By the way this has to be some kind of fake publicity stunt right? She gets bombed right on the red carpet, goes in the back, and comes out look brand new and fresh. Only cyborgs and Joan Rivers are capable of shit that fast.

Another Reason You Don't Move to Russia

Mother Russia literally has huge shit explosions from their sewers. Yeah I think I will pass on the shit sandwich today thank you very much. You know one of those poor bastards was just walking to get their ration of bread and vodka and next you know they have a fresh nugget wedged in their mouth.

Rex Ryan Has Already Been Tebowed

Rex Ryan in a restaurant...who would have thought? Now let's go get a god d---- snack!

Via BarStoolSports

NMA.TV Basically Implies Tebow Could Be Going To Hell Playing In New York

Fucking hysterical. You can't trust those New Yorkers with their luscious apples. Beware of the forbidden fruit Tebow.

Chipper Jones Will Retire

According to Dave O'Brien 2012 will be the final season we see Larry "Chipper" Jones playing in an Atlanta Braves uniform.

This will be it for Chipper Jones.

The Braves third baseman will announce later today that he is playing his final season.

According to a statement by the team, the Braves and Jones have expressed interest in rejoining the organization in a yet-to-be-determined capacity after 2012.

I'm not going to lie. It's going to be really hard to see Chipper walk away from the game. He is one of the three best switch hitters of all-time (Mickey Mantle and Eddie Murray) and he's been a fixture in the Braves lineup since the early 90's when the Braves were rattling off division titles. He's only played for one franchise and he's taken less money to stay in Atlanta. If you are a die hard Braves fan like myself you can't have anything but respect for him and the way he has played his entire career.

It's going to be hard to imagine not seeing old #10 out there on the field. Along with Murphy, Horner, Smoltz, Andruw, and McCann he will go down as one of my favorite Braves of all-time. The first ballot Hall of Famer from what I've heard wants to coach the Braves and my hope is the franchise gives him a position whether it be hitting or base coach almost immediately upon retirement. Chipper has the acumen and knowledge to be a good manager in the not too distant future. If Ozzie Guillen can win a World Series managing the White Sox there is little reason to think Chipper can't with the Braves.

Thanks for all the memories Chip. Hopefully there will be many more after your playing career is over. Now let's hop on that crazy train and make 2012 a memorable one. Go out with a bang for the lonely Hooters waitress.

Tebowie Says Good Bye To Denver

Good job Jimmy Fallon.

Via Hot Clicks.

NFL Puts Bounty On Saints, Suspends Sean Payton

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell waved his iron fist and then pounded it right on the Fleur De lis in New Orleans for the "BountyGate" fiasco today.

Here is what Goodell has taken away from the Saints, or now called the Taints.

-Head Coach Sean Payton suspended one year.
-Assistant coach Mickey Loomis suspended 8 games.
-Saints fined $500,000
-2nd round draft pick in 2012 and 2013.

Basically Roger pulled out his white glove and bitch slapped the Saints franchise. To say it's been a bad offseason for New Orleans would be an understatement. They have lost personnel, alienated their franchise QB, and now have been basically put on sanctions while losing scholarships. The good news is the city has not flooded...yet.

2012 does appear to be the end. The end of the Saints franchise that is.

Tim Tebow Traded To New York Jets for 4th Round Pick

If there was any lingering doubts whether Peyton Manning was in fact the only man in Denver who would be taking starting snaps behind center without annoying Tim Tebow questions being pestered at him those changed today upon news that Tebow has been traded to the New York Jets.

Tebow will now be a Jet and the Broncos will get a 4th round draft pick this year.

So now the media firestorm surrounding Tebow will move from Denver to New York with the most polarizing quarterback to play near Broadway since Joe Namath himself. I wonder what Mark Sanchez thinks about all this?

Sanchez shouldn't worry too much because Tebow is about as accurate of a passer as himself. Oh shit he should be worried. The first time Sanchez throws an interception you know the fans and media will be screaming for Jesus, I mean Tebow, to come in and save the day. If anything Tebow going to New York is going to dominate the headlines for at least the next few months. Wildcat talk will be all the rage on ESPN and I'm sure we will cross examine the personal lives of Sanchez and Tebow so much that neither will be beloved in NY.

It's kind of funny though we are in late March when college basketball and the upcoming baseball season should be all the rage of talk yet we can't get enough football whether it be college or the NFL. It's almost like we have a Tebowner for the pigskin.

In the meantime I got some Jesus 15 shirts I need to get rid of. Any takers? Should I just go ahead and ship them to Haiti?

Baylor's Brittney Griner Becomes Second Woman To Dunk In NCAA Tournament

Oh great, what's next? Voting or perhaps letting them drive. What is this world coming to?

/Rick Santorum

Oklahoma State Just Upped The Ante In Shady College Football Ethics

Sure Ohio State had it's Liar Liar Vest on Fire scandal and Miami had it's Boats N Hoes but this new story about Oklahoma State taking out life insurance policies on their own boosters makes me sick to my stomach. Seriously I got to take a shit after reading this...

T. Boone gave some bad advice. Oklahoma State’s athletics department took out $10 million life insurance polices on 27 elderly boosters in 2007. The scheme was expected to reel in as much as $350 million. The Cowboys paid $33 million in premiums over two years before canceling the policies in 2009, when not one of the old codgers passed from this earth.

OSU tried to get out on a technicality, though a U.S. District Judge ruled the life insurance company could keep the money. This is sort of like that time where the athletics department lost $77 million investing in T. Boone’s hedge fund before the financial crisis.

How is this even legal? Taking out life insurance policies on some of your old boosters just smells wrong. I know college football programs gamble every year with huge overhead but you have to be kidding me with this shit.

I think we have to make a shirt for this right? It only seems fair. Best idea sent in gets a FREE SHIRT.

The Mile High Manning Denver Football Shirt

Here is our newest shirt called MILE HIGH MANNING. You may have heard the news about some guy named Peyton Manning going to Denver. 6 foot 5 with a rocket arm now in the Mile High City.

Taking preorders today. Adult sizes S-3XL.

Click here to order MILE HIGH MANNING SHIRTS

The Peyton Manning Welcome Mat Looks Familiar

Darren Rovell on WhoSay

Now this is how you start a rivalry game: Rangers and Devils brawl during opening faceoff

3 separate fights right off the opening faceoff! God I forgot how much I miss hockey. If you aren't a hockey fan it would be hard to explain but for my money the most entertaining live sport to go to is hockey. The passion, speed, hitting, passing, changing lines all on the fly while skating on a thin sheet of ice is often poetic. Clearly the New York Rangers and New Jersey Devils have a deep desire to beat the shit out of each other with fisticuffs and whom am I to argue?

The Rangers mean while "punched" their tickets to the playoffs with a 4-2 win. They have the #1 seed in the Eastern Conference with 10 games to play and a 3 point lead over the Pittsburgh Penguins. Good for them.

Via TheBigLead

I Want This Notre Dame Helmet To Become A Reality

This is just a prototype but I would love to see this helmet implemented for one game next season. The first game against Navy in Ireland would be perfect with the shamrock on it in my opinion. What do you think? Do you like it?

Here are some more faux Notre Dame helmet designs.

Phoenix's Kaley O'Kelley Curses Fuck When Hearing of the Peyton Manning News

Phoenix news anchor Kaley O'Kelley was clearly not ready for the "Peyton Manning to Broncos" news. You got to like the passion she displays and at least she did cry on air like that pussy college kid from St. Louis.

Via Jimmy Traina

WTF Is Wrong With SLU's Brian Conklin?

Did someone run over his dog? Did his parents just die in a plane crash? Did he just find out his brother is stricken with stage 4 cancer? Did two of his Final Four teams lose before the weekend? If not then why the fuck is this pussy crying about a basketball game? Good lord this is pathetic. I understand that you are passionate about the game but I would never cry about losing a game. Man the fuck up bro!

Via Barstool Sports

Reportedly Peyton Manning Picks The Broncos

Well if you ever wondered if Tim Tebow was going to lose his virginity never fear because Peyton Manning just screwed him. Not really but this is definitely a bold move by John Elway and the Denver Broncos organization.

Manning was reportedly down to San Francisco (who just signed Randy Moss and Mario Manningham to help entice Peyton) and Denver and apparently the Elway connection sealed the deal. Supposedly Manning and Elway are close and it probably didn't hurt to know that Elway won two Super Bowls after the age of 35 in Denver. Personally I'm still skeptical that Manning will have anything left in the tank.

So what happens to Tebow? Well Jacksonville would seem like a good fit but they just signed Chad Henne. Brady Quinn is no longer in Denver as he signed a free agent contract with the Chiefs this weekend so there is room for Tebow as a backup to Manning for at least the next year. Manning is one hit from his career being over so it would be a little early to say Tebowmania is done in the Mile High City.

I'm still lost why Manning didn't choose San Francisco. They got to the NFC Championship last year behind a great defense and they have playmakers on the offensive side of the ball in Frank Gore, Michael Crabtree, Vernon Davis, Moss and now Manningham. Plus they have a young, good offensive line and were shopping Alex Smith. The only reason I can think of not going to the 49ers is because Peyton wanted to stay in the AFC.

Classic Kenny Powers Last Night

Between Stevie shaving his head and eyebrows and Kenny throwing the ultimate Independence Day party that nobody showed up to because his Russian teammate was throwing a rave you had classic Kenny Powers on full force last night. You got racial jokes being thrown out left and right and you even have Kenny's retarded half brother show up. Vintage Powers folks. If you haven't watched this season of Eastbound and Down then you need to do yourself a favor and reattach that needle you call a cock and get on it.

By the way that shirt is fucking awesome.

Dick Vitale Looks Like My Bracket

And to think I thought my bracket was totally fucked up after Mizzou and FSU both lost this weekend but it doesn't even compare to this Dick Vitale interview on Chicago's WGN New station. My chances of winning any money went in the shitter as soon as Norfolk State couldn't miss a shot against Missouri on Friday. The thing that is the most frustrating is that Missouri didn't play all that bad it's just they couldn't prevent the ball from going into the hoop on defense. FSU just never looked comfortable yesterday versus Cincy and two late turnovers by Luke Loucks sealed the Semenholes fate.

My championship game remains alive with Kentucky and North Carolina both rolling into the sweet 16 but even that looks doubtful with the news that UNC point guard Kendall Marshall fractured his shooting wrist. The Tarheels have been battling the injury bug all season including big man John Henson who just returned from a sprained wrist. Without a healthy Marshall it will be hard to project the Tarheels in the championship game but they can always rely on crucial Tyler Zeller flop on a charge late in the game so you never know.

The only thing satisfying from this past weekend was watching Duke lose to Lehigh. It never gets old seeing Coach K squirm on the bench as his 2nd seeded Blue Devils got crushed by Lehigh in basically their backyard in Greensboro, NC. It was one of those David vs Goliath games and this time David kicked Duke square in the nuts and then pissed all over them. It was truly that beautiful of an anology.

Happy St. Patrick's Day Everybody!

May your day be filled with Guinness, Jameson, and drunk leprechauns on this glorious Saturday. May your liver explode in delight as you search for your pot of gold. May your spirits be lifted by this classic Leprechaun in Mobile Youtube clip.

Blake Griffin Airballs Back-to-Back Free Throws

I think Blake would have been better off trying to dunk those shots from the free throw lines then actually shooting it. If you ever wonder why Griffin seems to get anally penetrated every time he drives the lane then remember these free throws. He is only hitting 55% from the charity line this season. That is still 10x higher than anybody willing to buy a KIA.

Funny Or Die's Bracket Is Almost Identical To Mine

When I filled out my first bracket on Monday I initially had a Final Four of Kentucky, Syracuse, UNC...and get this shit...no kidding...Long Beach State. Yeah for some tripped out reason I convinced myself the 12th seeded Long Beach State would be this year's VCU or George Mason. Then I went back to it today and convinced myself that there is no fucking way they beat Missouri. Initially I also had Mizzou losing to Murray State in the sweet 16. That was obviously scratched. Mizzou could win the whole thing. They are that fucking good. So in the end I have Mizzou winning the West. The other team I had to scratch off was Syracuse. Losing Fab Melo is fucking huge. You can't lose your shot blocker, inside defensive presence guy who grabs a lot of boards right before the tournament and recover. Sorry it's just not possible. So now I got FSU beating them in the Elite 8. My other regions remain solid with UNC and Kentucky both winning and eventually meeting in the championship game. I know I probably sound like some front running douche but I'm really not. Kentucky, UNC, FSU, and Mizzou are 4 of the most impressive teams I have watched all season. Sure they can get upset but I guaranteed at least 2 of those 4 make it to New Orleans. Begrudgingly I took Kentucky to win it all. They got the best player in the nation in Anthony Davis and John Calipari is due to win a championship and get it stripped 3 years later. Shit he is way beyond due.

Honestly I could give two shits what happens in this tournament. This has been one of the worst years in college basketball that I can ever remember. There hasn't been one interesting story. No true superstars beside Anthony Davis and his unibrow is more famous than his game. Maryland and Georgia Tech were awful this year so I didn't really pay attention that much to the ACC. Notre Dame was playing out of their asses there for a while but now appear to be leveling off. I guess now since I really don't care about winning my pool I'm going to root for upsets. A Final Four of New Mexico St, Long Beach St, Loyola, and Detroit would be something interesting worth talking about and would surely make CBS executives, March Madness sponsors and Colin Cowherd blow their brains out. Now that would be fucking sweet and entertaining.

I want Dick Vitale yelling "ANARCHY BABY ANARCHY!!!!"

RG3 WASHINGTON DC FOOTBALL SHIRT

The Skins haven't had a franchise quarterback in decades but that all changed last week when they ponied up and made a HUGE trade to get the #2 pick in the upcoming NFL Draft. We all know the pick will be the incredible superstar RG3. Now you can get a piece of RG3 with this great t-shirt available only at SportsCrack TEES!!!!