Farewell to The Captain #2 Shirts and Hoodies Now Available!

As you know I'm not the biggest Yankees fan in the world.  In fact I've loathed them since conception. But I sure as hell respect Derek Jeter for his career both on and off the field.  The guy got more top quality ass (talking legit 10's not 7's) than any player in any sport and he's done it right by not getting tied down with one chick.  He's waiting till after his playing days are over to get hitched.  Gotta respect the game from Jeter.  You also gotta respect these awesome The Captain shirts and hoodies.  Admit you love them!

Get these classic "The Captain" Farewell t-shirts and hoodies today!  Don't be a dick...show your love for the biracial angel!

TJ Oshie Scores on 4 of 6 Shootout Goals To Beat Russia!

In what was the best hockey game I've watched from start to finish USA's TJ Oshie became an American Fucking Legend with 4 shootout goals to beat Russia 3-2 this morning.  In a back and forth spirited game in Sochi in front of Putin the Americans showed their resiliency by never backing down and sacrificing limbs by blocking a tremendous amount of shots from Russian stars Ilya Kovalchuk and Alexander Ovechkin.



Oshie will forever live in hockey folklore with his clutch shootout goals.  International rules allow teams to send out the same shooter if they want and Oshie got the call today.  Silky smooth with calm hands Oshie showed why he was the pick to click by delivering in front of a hostile Russian crowd.  Speaking of delivering check out Oshie's wife Lauren.  Oshie is already a legend off the ice apparently.

Almost forgot what it was like going out on a Saturday night 🙆 @OSH74 pic.twitter.com/EU42dM8VZA

— lauren cosgrove (@laurencosgrove3) January 13, 2014

SportsCrack's New St. Patrick's Day Drink Like A Champion Today Shirt and Hoodie Are a Must Have

Before you know it St. Paddy's will be here and you don't want to be the only chump without the perfect Irish Green Drink Like A Champion Today Shamrock Shirt.  And just in case it's too cold for you we came out with an Irish Green Hoodie version of it.  These Drink Like A Champion St. Patrick's Day shirts also make the perfect gift for any husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, soul mate, drinking mate, etc.  No excuses just get one today!

Click Here To Buy!

According to The Onion The Sochi Olympic Village is One Giant Orgy Where Athletes Live, Train, and Fuck Each Other

Olympic Village Tour: See Where The Athletes Live, Train And Fuck Each Other

Admit it that you thought Russia was as cold hearted as Putin's puckered asshole.  Now we see it's just one giant fuckfest in Sochi according to The Onion.  Poor Lolo Jones must be as nervous as a virgin in a prison rodeo.

Jon Stewart Dives Into The Whole Michael Sam Coming Out of the Closet Story

The Daily Show
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,The Daily Show on Facebook

I honestly think the best part of Missouri's defensive end Michael Sam coming out and stating he is gay before the NFL Draft is the media's desperate attempt to make it a bigger story than what it actually is.  The media is searching frantically to find any NFL player or executive or fan or sports figure who doesn't agree with Sam's lifestyle so they can show us that the American public is still intolerant of gay people.  And so far they haven't come up with shit.  You know why?  Because it's 2014 and nobody gives a shit if you are gay.  In sports the two things that matters is if you are good enough to play and are you going to help my team win.  And it's obvious Sam, the SEC defensive player of the year, is really good at football and helped Mizzou to their best season ever.  So nobody gives a shit if Sam is gay except the media or someone else trying to push a certain agenda.  God bless Michael Sam for coming out and God Bless America!

Blake Griffin With Back-to-Back Windmill Dunks

Dominique Wilkins nods in approval.

USC Celebrates After Signing Adoree' Jackson

This video just shows how the once mighty powerhouse USC Trojans have fallen to the wayside in the PAC-12.  Yes getting Adoree' Jackson is a huge pickup.  Jackson is the #1 prospect in California after all.   But the fact that the Trojans staff are celebrating like school children and giving high fives while shouting "LET'S GO!" in what should have been a formality signing is sad and kind of pathetic.  He's a 5'9 defensive back.  Chances of Adoree' personally winning you some games is slim at that position.  But kudos goes to new coach Steve Sarkisian and the Trojans staff in securing Jackson who should help immediately for the 5th or 6th best team in the PAC-12.

One of the Worst Officiating Calls Ever: Kyle Lowry Called For Offensive and Technical Fouls on Fade Away 3-Point Shot

Seriously what the fuck was the ref looking at?  Did he think Toronto Raptor's Kyle Lowry was trying to trip up the defender?  It just makes no sense why he would be called for an offensive foul and then to top it off he gets a technical for running away and not arguing it.  The NBA is fucking terrible.  It's all flopping and bull shit calls like this.

Also it's baffling how the head coach, the player, and his teammates didn't go ape shit when this call was made.  It just goes to show you they care more about the zeroes in their paycheck then the principle of winning.

Rumor Going Around Phil Knight Wants To Turn The Denver Broncos Uniform Into Oregon of the NFL

Via Reddit comes news of Nike's Phil Knight wanting to turn the Denver Broncos uniform into the  Oregon Ducks of the NFL.  I've also heard a good possibility the Broncos new helmet will be made and designed by HydroGraphics who do the Oregon and Notre Dame helmets.

Anyways to make this post actually worth your time reading it, I too saw the rumors yesterday about your team possibly being in the market for new uniforms. I called up my buddy and asked him if there was any truth to the rumors. Here's what he had to say:

Yes, you are getting new uniforms

This has been in the making since Nike took over

Until this past Sunday's events, Orange was to be the primary

Orange is no longer the primary as of Monday morning and Nike has been green lit to test a new color scheme

The Uniforms have a deadline of the 2015 Draft

This is the longest uniform project Nike has ever undertaken, and just like in 97 the Broncos will be given a template completely unique to them, not even Oregon will have this template for a couple years

A new logo is in the works

Phil Knight wants the Broncos to become the Oregon of the NFL. The team holds a special place in his heart as the first football team to let Nike have complete control over a design.

So there you have it Denver. Official news should come out around the beginning of next season. Nike is going to hype up this reveal big time.

EDIT: This is starting to get big time attention so I've deleted my source from this post to protect him. He assures me nothing I've shared violates his NDA, as I have revealed no official colors, themes, or uniform features.

Personally I love the idea.  I wish my Atlanta Falcons were doing something like this.  What do you think about new uniforms only for the Denver Broncos next season?

Marshawn Lynch's SuperBowl Parade Included a Fan's Fireball Whiskey

Now that is what we call "Beast Mode."  If Seattle Seahawks RB Marshawn Lynch wants his Fireball Whiskey then you sure as hell better give it to him.  Cops estimated over 700,000 people showed up for the victory parade yesterday in Seattle and Marshawn with all of his infinite talents spotted the one dude who had Fireball in the crowd.  Moving duck boat be damned if Marshawn wants his Fireball then Marshawn is going to get it.

Via LarryBrownSports

Not Sure Why This Carl's Jr Big Sausage Breakfast SuperBowl Commercial Was Banned

Who doesn't love sausage?  I guess those prudes who run network TV is the answer.

National Signing Day Special #GoldenArmy14 Shirts Only $6

Get the one and only #GoldenArmy14 shirt for only $6.  It comes in both a cotton version and a performance gym shirt.  Also all Tailgate Like A Champion shirts are $6 too.

Jared Lorenzen aka The Pillsbury Throwboy Still Has His Scrambling Ability

Holy blast from the past.  We all remember portly Jared Lorenzen from his playing days at Kentucky where he threw for over 10,000 yards and 78 touchdowns during his illustrious college career but I had no clue this guy was even alive let alone playing "professional" football.

The highlight above is from this past weekend with the Northern Kentucky River Monsters.  Lorenzen is now 320 pounds of gridiron God of donuts but still has his patented scrambling eggs of moves with him.  The Pillsbury Throwboy as he is affectionally called can still hot dog it on the field despite his little T-Rex arms.  I'm impressed.  And hungry.

Via BarStoolSports

Naked Seahawks Fan Shows His Legion of Boom on Live Seattle TV News

Not even going to lie...if one of my teams won a championship I would have my cock and balls  flopping out everywhere.  Just straight cockslapping reporters on live air if it actually happened.  Fortunately for you none of my favorite teams are that close to a championship.

Still waiting for some female nudie Seahawks shots.  Make it happen Seattle.

Richard Sherman's 30/30 Mockumentary By Frank Caliendo Was Hysterical

Comedian Frank Caliendo nailed every single impersonation in this Richard Sherman mockumentary.  The impersonations of Jon Gruden and Jim Harbaugh are comedy gold.  I could feel tears forming.  Chris Berman waving his hands and muttering like he has a peanut butter sandwich in his mouth is spot on.  George Bush's "Dijon" Sanders is also a favorite.  Shit this whole sketch is classic.  Caliendo brought his 98 mph heat with a back breaking curveball to this one.

Speaking of heat how about you do yourself a favor and get the shirt that's turned into rock star status now that the Seahawks have captured their first Super Bowl: Russell Mania.

Wing Bowl 22 in Philly Was Full of Fights

Philadelphia had it's annual Wing Bowl yesterday and if you have ever wondered what an insane asylum would look like without security or medication then here you go.  Just a bunch of wild animals going crazy.  White trash mucking it up in the stands while contestants below eat chicken wings for a grand prize of $22,000.  The winner was a 120 pound mom of 4 who managed to eat a staggering World Record of 363 wings.  Her kids must be so proud.  Full disclosure the Wing Bowl was 4 times more entertaining than the shitty Super Bowl last night.  What a shitstorm that game was in East Rutherford.

Failed Joe Buck Super Bowl Promo is Spot On

Joe Buck's Failed Super Bowl Promo from Funny Or Die      

You gotta give credit where credit is due: at least Joe Buck can laugh at himself.  Nothing is worse than some pompous a-hole who can't take a joke.

Katie Nolan Slams Rick Reilly for being Rick Reilly

Bravo to Fox Sports 1 Katie Nolan for sticking up for colleague Regis Philbin.  ESPN's Rick Reilly despite enormous odds has somehow managed to make himself look like an even bigger douche bag by slamming TV icon Philbin for his work on Fox Sports 1.  Why would he do such a thing?  I have no fucking clue but what I do know is Nolan is moving up quickly on the "SportsCaster" ladder.  Combining good looks with smarts and a voice that is neither annoying or whiny while clearly presentable is going to do wonders for Nolan.  In other words we are huge fans of her.

TV Azteca Host Mariana Gonzalez Crushed Super Bowl Media Day With See-Through Dress

Amo mi trabajo! #MediaDay #SuperBowlXLVIII pic.twitter.com/hiWtw8YoBV
— Mariana Gonzalez (@marianagzze) January 28, 2014

Sorry Erin Andrews.  Mariana Gonzalez just threw down the gauntlet with this white see-through dress.  Game.  Set.  Match.

By the way if you look closely you can see Jay Glazer jacking it to Mariana in the background.  True story.  Oh wait that's just me.  Carry on.

This Brings Back Some Memories: Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Cover GIF

Before the internet was around there were two things for adolescent boys to look forward to getting in the mail: Victoria Secret's catalog and the SI Swimsuit Edition.  They both had the hottest super models in there.  From SpankBank material with Elle MacPherson, Stephanie Seymour, and Kathy Ireland among others just showing off enough skin to let a young boy's mind race to what could be.  These days kids have it so easy.  Anyways this Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Cover GIF is basically a jerkoff time machine.  So many memories.

Via BarStoolSports

The NFL Bad Lip Reading is Back and it's Hilarious

I know I sound like a school girl but these NFL Bad Lip Reading videos make me giggle.  They probably didn't have enough time but it would have great if they had Richard Sherman's meltdown on there.  Nevertheless it's a great job.

Richard Sherman Mic'd Up Did Say "Hell of a Game" To Michael Crabtree

Cool now maybe the media can stop with the incessant Richard Sherman articles.  I mean who really gives a shit anyways?  Sherman is just a defensive back.  He can talk all the trash he wants as long as he can back it up with his All-Pro play.  It's not like he is the quarterback or a kicker who can single handily win or lose a game with his play.  Hell Sherman didn't even make the interception.  His teammate did.  So please stop with the Sherman storyline.  I get it.  He's from Compton.  He went to Stanford.  He was a 5th round draft pick.  He's the best corner in the game right now. He trash talks all fucking game.  Blah blah.  Until he intercepts a ball and returns it for a pick 6 Deion Sanders style then I don't really see what the big deal about Sherman is.  He's just a defensive back who has the tendency to blow up on camera while being interviewed by Erin Andrews.

Oh and by the way he is not a "thug."  "He is the Man" according to this new Beats by Dre commercial...

Minnesota Gophers Hot Fans Take Selfies in Stands

I'm so out of the loop these days but I think these three Minnesota Gophers students are taking selfies and/or Vines at the Minnesota/Wisconsin game last night.  Well it's our duty to rank them in...um...order.  Girl on the far left despite the TV graphic trying to block our view is clearly #1.  She just has the "it" factor.  She carries this crew 24/7.  Now the tough part.  Who is #2 and who is relegated to the dreaded #3 spot which isn't necessarily bad with this trio.  Despite the bedazzled phone I got to go with the blonde for #2.  It's the smile in the end.  The cute little smirk just clinches it.  Now we need to find out who these girls are.  There must be Instagram pictures out there.   By the way Minnesota won the game, upsetting #9 Wisconsin 81-68.  They were clearly inspired by these gorgeous Gophers.

Via TheBigLead

Yankees Sign Masahiro Tanaka for $175 Million

Just when I was starting to feel bad for the New York Yankees and those awful contracts they handed out to aging stars Alex Rodriguez, Derek Jeter, CC Sabathia, Mark Teixeira, Brian McCann, Jacoby Ellsbury, and Carlos Beltran they go out and totally redeem themselves by signing Japanese pitcher Masahiro Tanaka for seven-years, $155 million (plus $20 million posting fee).  This signing will work out great for the Yankees.  Tanaka has never pitched in the majors but fuck it, what does that matter?  He put up great numbers in Japan so "let's pay him Clayton Kershaw money" is a great way to build a franchise.  Brilliant in fact.  Absolutely no way this signing blows up in their faces.  Tanaka will perform great in the low pressure, laid back style that only New York can provide.  Plus he isn't making quite as much as A-Rod so he won't have a bulls eye on his back.  We all know Yankees fans are caring, loving individuals who no matter how much their stars struggle are only there to support them with admiration.  Good luck in NY Tanaka!

Baltimore Ravens Jacoby Jones Gives Grade A Drunk Interview At Pelicans Game

I have no fucking clue what Baltimore Ravens wide receiver Jacoby Jones said here at a clearly sold out New Orleans Pelicans game last night.  After decades of studying, practicing, and perfecting the art of drunk I still can't translate Jacoby's slurs.  Jacoby is so smashed he's wearing a LiveStrong bracelet.  Bro those were in style 10 years ago.  Yes ma'aaaamm!

Auburn Band Reacts to 2013 Iron Bowl Win

Unless you are an inbred Bama fan you have to get the chills watching this video of the Auburn band reacting to Chris Davis' epic missed field goal return for the winning score in the 2013 Iron Bowl.  I honestly don't see how these kids are even performing after watching this live in person.  I would have been going ape shit.  Fuck this fiddle I'm going down to the field to celebrate!

Jameis Winston Has A Country Song Called "He's Jameis"

I can definitely see Jameis and his friends rocking out to this slow country song with his friends while drinking moonshine in Southern Alabama.  Peas in a pod my friends.  Peas in a pod.

RussellMania Seattle Shirts Now Available! 50% sales goes to American Cancer Society

Ok SportsCrack Nation this RussellMania shirt is going to be our big fund raiser for the American Cancer Society.  As you probably know we have donated a portion of all our sales to the ACS since my Mom passed away from Cancer back in 2006.  Well in the past week I've had two close friends also lose parents to the terrible disease.  Simply put Cancer sucks!  I've decided that 50% of all sales from the new RUSSELLMANIA SEATTLE shirts will go directly to the American Cancer Society.  This is our chance to help stop this deadly disease.  If you don't want the t-shirt and simply want to donate directly to the American Cancer Society because you are an awesome human being please go to their site at this link.

Thanks SportsCrack Nation!

New Irish Green Shirt: Fear The Stache

Intensity.

Respect.

Epic.

Funny.

Classic.

Fear.

Stache.

All of these words describe our new FEAR THE STACHE Irish Green Shirt.  This classic tee will bring back memories of a Brawny defense.  A defense that will be unleashed in 2014 thanks to the "Fear the Stache" campaign.  Get the one and only "Fear The Stache" shirt today!

A Night In Louisville Starring Bobby Petrino and Rick Petino

With Bobby Petrino riding his Hog back to Louisville we now have two lost soul mates who can finally connect in the dance club with fellow Casanova Rick Pitino waiting on tender chariot.  It's going to be wet and wild for sure.  Secretaries, interns, colleagues, Hooters waitresses you have been warned.  Double P is coming for ya!

Hipster NFL Logos

The awesome folks over at KissingSuzyKolber produced some top notch Hipster NFL Logos.  These are just a few of my favorites.

We all know Hipsters love their "craft beer."  Hey buddy can I get a Pompous Asshole Pale Ale?

James Franklin Bought an Ad in The Tennessean to Thank Vanderbilt

I gotta admit this was a classy move by new Penn State head coach James Franklin.  Franklin took out a near full page ad in The Tennessean to thank Vanderbilt for everything they gave him.  Now you can get a small glimpse of why people like Franklin are so successful.

I've been arguing with some friends about Franklin.  For some wacko reason they think he will be a massive failure in Happy Valley.  I can't even grasp that bullshit.  The guy won at Vanderbilt!  Before he got to Nashville the Commodores had been to one, yes, one bowl game in the last 28 years.  During his 3 years they went to 3 bowl games.  I would say that is pretty damn good.  Also they beat up on Tennessee, Georgia and Florida who are all SEC East blueblood programs.

If the Big Ten is ever going to get back to dominant conference play (have they ever?) they need to poach coaches from the SEC.  Last year they did it with Urban Meyer going to Ohio State.  This year it is Franklin.  He will kill it for State Penn.  College football needs Franklin to succeed at Penn State.  It's so much more entertaining when at least a few teams from up north are competing for National Titles.  We need to revive the Civil War of College Football.  Yee Haw!

Instagram Heat: Emma Frain

I've had an Instagram account for over 2 years now and I have honestly been on there maybe 4 times.  I never really understood the attraction of the photo sharing website.  Of course I was the same way with Twitter at first but then you realize why so many people are getting on there: porn.  No I'm kidding of course. Most people go on there for all the great information right?

Back to Instagram.  Check out Emma Frain's page.  It's full of goodies at http://instagram.com/thefrainbow

Here are some highlights:

Blaze the Husky Says No to the Kennel

Hey what can you say other than this dog gets it.  No one wants to be in a kennel.  Especially not Blaze.  You can try all you want master but you are not getting me in that fucking box a-hole.

I didn't realize people still put their dogs in cages.  Seems cruel to be honest.  How would you like to sit in a box barely bigger than your body for 8 hours a day?  Sounds awesome right?  Sign me up.

Lane Kiffin To Bama Deserves a New The Beverly Hillbillies Song

What in the fuck was Nick Saban thinking?

Lane Kiffin?

Seriously?

People don't intentionally try to get AIDS or Cancer but here we are in 2014 and Saban has just infected his program with Kiffin.  It's the most deadly disease known to football.

Those poor inbred cousins down in Tuscaloosa have no fucking clue what they are getting into with Kiffin.  And don't even start with the "well he was a great coordinator with USC" bullshit.  The Trojan's roster was full of Heisman winners and All-Americans.  Gene Chizik and Larry Coker could have one done wonders with those players too.

In all honesty I have to thank Saban for hiring Kiffin.  It's going to be pure entertainment down in Tuscaloosa.  Saban is letting his ego get the best of him thinking he can turn anything into gold and shit maybe he does shine the shit off of Kiffin's turd of a coaching career but I seriously doubt it.

Image via @Nick_Pants

CSN Introduces The New Chicago Cubs Mascot Clark Who Apparently Is Packing Heat

You might want to put some pants on that Cub.  100 plus years of losing baseball and still Clark the Cub is packing some serious heat.  Good for him.  Bad for the kids.

Deadspin did a great job with Clark.  You might as well make him anatomically correct if he's not gonna have any pants on.

Great Hockey Fight: Mike Brown vs Aaron Volpatti

Talk about some haymakers!  Holy shit these two goons exchanged some bloody blows.  It looks like Mike Brown of the San Jose Sharks got a little bit of the upper hand in this exchange with Aaron Volpatti of the Washington Capitals.  I'm going to make Gretzky bleed!!!!

Great Prank: Devil Baby Stroller in NYC

These videos always have me cracking up.  Just seeing someone scared shitless is funny.  Imagine if they filmed this animatronic devil baby prank in Texas instead of New York City.  That fake baby would have bullet holes all through it.

Tina Fey Knocks It Out of the Park With This Golden Globes Introduction of Leonardo Dicaprio

"Like a supermodel's vagina, let's please give a warm welcome to Leonardo Dicaprio" - gold Jerry, gold!

Thank you Tina Fey!  You gave the whole audience a laugh out loud moment while causing Martin Scorcese to almost shit himself on national television.  You have to love Leonardo too.  You know he is just going to lay it into Fey and Amy Poehler later after he gets done banging every single model in attendance.

Broncos Fan Wearing a Peyton Manning Jersey Gets His Ass Kicked in San Diego

Hey I get you were very excited to win a playoff game.  But if you are a Denver Broncos fan wearing a bright orange Peyton Manning jersey in San Diego it's probably not smart to go running around amongst Chargers fans shouting "Hey San Diego, Go Fuck Yourselves!"  It's funny in "Anchorman" but it sure as shit isn't funny when you are getting your 300 lb ass kicked and then arrested.

Peyton Manning's #1 Priority is Bud Light

Well you got to love the honesty.  Peyton Manning is one of the all-time greats.  He's also has a losing record in the playoffs and despite having a Super Bowl in his back pocket has a huge monkey on his back.  So yeah if Peyton wants a fucking Bud Light at the end of the huge playoff win he will get it.  Especially now that he knows he has Tom Brady and the Patriots coming to town he's has to feel parched.  You know the folks over in Golden, CO are fucking pissed right now.  Peyton just bitched slap Coors in the face with his St. Louis love.

January 9th 2013 Was Not a Good Day for Notre Dame

The BCS Era is finally dead but it seems like Notre Dame's horrible January luck will continue to reign supreme.  It's been 20 years since the Fighting Irish had a good first month of the New Year and after yesterday it could be another 20 years.

Here is a rough time line of the shit hitting the fan in South Bend.

Image via UHND

LEADING RETURNING RECEIVER DAVARIS DANIELS SUSPENDED FOR SPRING
Davaris Daniels caught 49 passes for 745 yards and seven touchdowns in 2013 but won't be catching shit this spring other than study time after being suspended for a less than stellar GPA.  Ahh the joys of playing at an actual academic institution.  Daniels was expected to be QB Everett Golson's (another player suspended last season for academics) #1 target and really only proven receiving commodity other than TE Troy Niklas (shit we will get to him later) returning.  Now it's up in the air.  Yes he can return if he gets his grades back in order but as a rising senior this shouldn't even be an issue at this point in his collegiate career.  Players like Daniels need to be leaders especially at a position at WR where they are extremely green.  No Spring Game for Daniels means players like Chris Brown and CJ Procise as well as freshman wideouts Corey Robinson, Will Fuller, and James Onwuala will have to build some trust with Golson as he returns.

DT TOP RECRUIT MATT DICKERSON DECOMMITS, GOING TO UCLA
Well at least this news broke before signing day and not 3 months after.  UCLA again poached a valuable ND recruit at a position where they struggle mightily to get quality numbers in defensive tackle.  Last year it was freshman All-American Eddie Vanderdoes and this year it's another Northern Cali prospect in Matt Dickerson.  Dickerson like Vanderdoes is citing family issues for flipping to UCLA and wanting to stay closer to home.  This is understandable but both players are still a 5-6 hour drive from UCLA to their respective homes.  In other words it's more BS.  Oh well move on right?  I mean defensive tackles are just rushing to get into Notre Dame now that Louis Nix is going first round to the NFL right?  Fuck no.

NOTRE DAME SWITCHING TO UNDER ARMOUR
This is just a personal preference and not an indictment on Notre Dame.  I just am not a fan of Under Armour.  And yes I'm from Maryland originally but I think UA gear is overpriced and overrated.  No offense but offense to my Maryland peeps.  Supposedly ND picked UA over Nike after deciding to let their Adidas contract run out.  A lot of recruits and fans were not happy with the decision.  They bitched and moan about it on Twitter and Facebook.  I was also one of those fans.  I don't want to protect this house.  I want Nike and field turf and a fucking video board in the stadium in 2014.  But none of these things look like they will happen.  Awesome.

Image via UHND

TROY NIKLAS DECLARES FOR NFL DRAFT

This was the final dick kick I needed before going to bed late last night.  Presumed to be returning tight end Troy Niklas aka Hercules aka build himself into a 1st round pick in 2014 aka what the fuckity fuck are you doing declaring for the NFL draft?  I've had some time to rethink this and if I was in Niklas size 15 shoes I would have come back for my senior season and strive to make myself the best tight end in the nation but I can also see leaving early.  Football careers are short and concussions are extremely dangerous.  Niklas has the later already.  You gotta get your money "legally" while you can and after talking with Tyler Eifert and others Niklas made his decision.  At least he told Brian Kelly about it unlike Stephon Tuitt who went straight to the media.  No way to sugar coat it but losing Niklas and Tuitt are tremendous losses.  Physically no one can replace those two on the roster.  But hey look on the bright side at least Notre Dame plays a shit schedule like Ohio State...oh wait...nevermind.

And last but not least I've heard some grumblings about Kelly and the NFL.  At this point nothing would surprise me.  With so many players jumping ship and academics taking away elite talent I'm not so sure Kelly returns in 2014.  At this point they are just rumors but until Notre Dame or Brian Kelly come out and announce his new offensive coordinator (?) and defensive coordinator (Brian VanGorder) I'm going to prepare myself for the worst.  Because make no mistake losing Kelly would be devastating.  And no Gruden is not walking through that Golden Dome door nor would I want him.

Texas A&M Makes a Fitting Tribute Video for Johnny Manziel Titled "Thank You Johnny Football"

I'm not even going to lie.  College football is a lot more boring without Johnny Fucking Football.  Whether you love him or hate him you gotta at least respect his "on the field" game.  Manziel can flat out ball.  I think I'm in the minority of people who think he will succeed at the next level.  Johnny just has it.  And by it I mean chlamydia, gonorrhea, and HPV.  In all seriousness Johnny is a leader and a college football legend.  The Aggies were just a run of the mill Big 12 team before Johnny came along. In two seasons he almost took them to the mountaintop of the SEC by himself.  If the Aggies had any defense we would be talking about Manziel as the best player since Herschel.  That's not hyperbole.  It's the truth.  Plus Manziel is as much a player off the field as he is on it.  He's the new Joe Namath without the porn stache.  I'm sure the notches on his belt in College Station were legendary and one can only imagine what kind of pull he will have in a new NFL city.  He's going to be a top 10 pick and part of me wishes my Atlanta Falcons would trade Matt Ryan for draft picks, draft Johnny, and grab some defensive studs with a late first/early 2nd round.  I want the JFF show to come to Atlanta permanently.  He's got more talent than Ryan and a hell of a lot more personality.

As a college football I want to Thank You Johnny Football.  College football needs polarizing figures like Manziel because lightning only strikes so often.  You gotta enjoy the spark while it lasts because before you know it it will be gone.

Blast From The Past: Chicks Dig The Long Ball Commercial Featuring Hall of Famers Greg Maddux and Tom Glavine

In the end Atlanta Braves teammates Greg Maddux and Tom Glavine got the last laugh.  Hall of Fame Bitch!  Where you at Big Mac?  Probably crying in your pillowcase filled with Heather Locklear's gray pubes.

By the way where the hell was Smoltzie?  He must not have been a Nike guy.  It's the only thing I can figure out.  As great as Maddux and Glavine were the one pitcher you wanted on the mound for Game 7 was Smoltz.  It's not even a question.  Smoltzie will get his Hall of Fame plaque next year along with the Big Unit and Pedro.

Video of FSU Football Team Return To Tallahassee Makes Me Hate Them Even More

Is it just me or does it look like when FSU gets off the bus they just lost the game?  Jesus Christ guys you could at least smile and thank the fans a little bit.  You just won a fucking National Championship!

Jameis didn't rape anybody on the bus did he?  Bad Jameis.  Bad Bad.  Now go to your room.

What a bunch of entitled pussies!  They could give two shits about their fans chanting like Seminole savages and cheering them on as they are welcomed home.  Nope.  They just want to get their paycheck and call it a day.

I didn't think it was at all possible but now I feel bad for FSU fans.  At least other schools players have an appreciation for them.  It's like they went to go pick up their girlfriend at the airport only to find out she brought back her "friend" who's been nailing her on the side.  These FSU players look like they just found out Santa wasn't real.

Maybe they are just still in shock they beat a SEC school.  Yeah that must be it.  Fuckers.

The Worst Bad Beats of the 2013 College Football Season

Only degenerates like myself would understand the pain of what this feels like when you have a bet that's going to pay off only for it to be jerked away from the hands of a bookie.  This 2013 College Football season was especially painful.  Those mortal locks we thought were 99.999% fool proof slipped through the cracks.  It can take the pleasure of a victory away when your team doesn't cover the shitty 7 points it needed but instead won on a last second field goal.  Sweet we won but I also lost my hookers and blow retainer.

Greg Maddux, Tom Glavine and Frank Thomas Elected To Baseball Hall of Fame

Congratulations to Atlanta Braves teammates Greg Maddux and Tom Glavine along with Chicago White Sox slugger Frank "Big Hurt" Thomas for being elected first ballot to Cooperstown. All 3 of these guys deserved to be elected and were all clean of PEDs in my opinion. I of course have fond memories of Maddux and Glavine growing up in Atlanta in the 90's with those two along with the greatest Atlanta Braves pitcher in my mind John Smoltz forming a ridiculous rotation at the top for Bobby Cox's crew. The Big Hurt was one of my favorite players who didn't wear a Braves or Orioles uniform and I can still remember meeting him as a kid and getting his autograph. The Big Guy was one of the nicer guys I've met along with Ozzie, Cal and Smoltzie.


PS if anybody doesn't think Craig Biggio did steroids along with Jeff Bagwell then I'm sorry but you are either a blind Houston Astros fan or an idiot. It wouldn't have bothered me too much if Biggio got in because he has never tested positive but the eye test doesn't lie. Biggio only fell a couple of votes short of election so there's a good chance he gets in next year.


The three elected join managers Bobby Cox, Joe Torre, and Tony LaRussa as the first 6 living inductees since 1971. Odds are LaRussa will bring one of his cats to give his HOF speech.

We Brought Back A Classic Design...The Shamrock Series 5 REDEMPTION Navy Shirt!

What's new is old and what's old is new.

This classic design called the "Shamrock 5 Series" shirt brings back a ton of fond memories for us.  We came up with this design back when we started SportsCrack in 2005.  Now after a tough 2013 season we are looking for REDEMPTION in 2014.

What better way than to bring back #5 to save the day?  Bigger, tougher, stronger and ready to show the world 2012 was no fluke.

Get the one and only Shamrock 5 Redemption shirt today!

Brent Musburger Brought His A Game Last Night, Introduced Himself as Kirk Herbstreit

Do Lee Corso, Lou Holtz, Verne Lundquist, and Brent Musburger all have the same agent?  All 4 of these college football horses should have been put out to pasture years ago yet here they are...still fucking up on national television.   Granted I love them all and television is entertainment so I can see why TV execs continue to push them on the viewers.  I'm just wondering when one of them will show up in nothing but ladies underwear, jacking it on live television after an all night blow fest.  Don't laugh.  It's going to happen.  My money is on Corso.  He looks like a blow and hookers type of guy.

Red Lightning Was Certifiable Cougar Bait Last Night

“@SBNationCFB: #unconquered RT @_WSBG: Red Lightning living pic.twitter.com/eC5SJDKW2V” he's cougar bait
— SportsCrack Apparel (@sportscrack) January 7, 2014

Arguably who is more famous right now: Jameis Winston or Red Lightning?

Well it's obviously Jameis since he has a Heisman Trophy and now a National Championship after last night.  But Red Lightning is creeping up real quickly.  That curly haired freckled ginger snap is all the rage right now.  And as you can see from last night he played the victim of Cougar bait.  His shirt wide open Miami Vice style while the cougars swarm in by the smell of his red pubes.  He's simply irresistible.  Red Lightning is a Dos Equis commercial come to life.  God speed bro!  Conquer the night you soul less spawn of Devil semen you...

Does The "99" Tattoo on Paulina Gretzky Qualify as a Tramp Stamp?

Granted the Great One's daughter didn't get his famous number "99" tattooed above her ass in the time honored traditional spot for a tramp stamp but does the left hip qualify as the minor leagues of tramp stamps?  Maybe I need to ask Wayne what he thinks.  He must be honored.  Also I think Joe Cool lost a couple of his toes inside her bottom.  Chances are 99% of men have lost stuff in there.

FSU FLORIDA STATE SEMINOLES 2013 Limited Edition BCS National Champs Wilson Official Leather F1005 Football

Congratulations go out to the Florida State Seminoles for ending the SEC run of dominance last night with an amazing come from behind victory in Pasadena!

We are getting 5 of these limited edition footballs in stock direct from Wilson.

2013 Limited Edition FSU Seminoles BCS National Champs Official Wilson NCAA Leather Football.

Pre-order today. 

Expected Ship date Feb 6th.

All of this product is Made in the USA from start to finish.
The Official Football of the NCAA®.
Official size and weight.
Top quality leather cover.

Tim Tebow's ESPN Debut Was Not Gay At All

Good lord Jesse Palmer why don't you just get on your knees and suck him off while you are at it.  There is a good reason why Tim Tebow is a virgin.  His "homeostasis" radar is through the roof.  You went to your hotel room and had a circle jerk for 3 hours Tebow?  That's nice but please don't share that story ever again.  I need to go take a cold shower now because Tebow was straight fire.

By the way does anybody really think Auburn has a chance tonight?  On paper it looks like a total mismatch vs FSU but then again all 4 of the BCS games have been won by the underdog.  UCF was a 17 pt dog to Baylor and crushed them.  Oklahoma was a 16.5 point dog to Bama and throttled Saban and his crew.  Sparty was a touchdown dog to the Nerds and won the Rose Bowl.  And last but not least Clemson was 3 pt dogs to Ohio State and won the Orange Bowl.  So could Auburn pull a huge upset as 10 point dogs in Pasadena?  I just don't see it.  But then again no one thought War Eagle would even be near this game after a disastrous 3-9 season.

I just want to see a good game and see who Brent Musberger undresses with his eyes and words while giving so and so's girlfriend her long awaited 15 minutes of fame.  My money is on Johnny Football's latest road beef, Lauren Hanley.

Charlie Strong Rides Into Austin Blazing Saddles Style

LSU freek nailed this one directly on the head.  Hilarious.  Texas fans were hoping for Jim Harbaugh only to be disappointed with Charlie Strong when he rides in "Blazing Saddles."

In all seriousness this is a home run hire for Texas.  Strong is a great coach as well as recruiter who has tremendous ties in the state of Florida.  He crushed it in Louisville leading them to two bowl victories with beat downs against Florida and Miami with more talent than his Cardinals team.  Now imagine what he can do with Texas and their resources.

Brand new Don't Mess With Strong vintage style t-shirts are now available for PRE ORDER here.

According to Bruce Feldman Paul Johnson Wants Out of GA Tech

Word is #GaTech coach Paul Johnson is not happy with the school. Hopes they buy him out, according to a source.
— Bruce Feldman (@BFeldmanCBS) January 3, 2014

I actually think it's the other way around at this point.  Georgia Tech is not happy with Paul Johnson.  After Johnson blew a two-touchdown lead to rival Georgia at home and then shit the bed in the bowl game vs Ole Miss I think we could all see that the Johnson triple-option era is about to come to a crashing halt.

Starting QB Vad Lee has already stated he is transferring.

Johnson doesn't recruit and doesn't sell the program.

If he was winning 9 plus games a season he could get away with his surly attitude but he does not.  Georgia Tech is still the same 7-5 team they were when Chan Gailey was roaming The Flats sideline.

It's not good enough and Johnson needs to go.  The problem is Tech doesn't want to buy out the contract.  Johnson is under contract until 2016 after signing an extension in 2009.

If you were GT AD Mike Bobinski what would you do?

LSUfreek Chimes in with this Sugar Bowl GIF

Bob Stoops knocking it out of the park.  Even Nick Saban saw it coming and couldn't do shit about it.

Bama Got Their Ass Kicked By Oklahoma...Fan Brawls in Stand

Go home Bama.  You're drunk.

2 game losing streak and this is how their loyal fan base reacts.  Round house kicks from drunk moms in the stands.  On the bright side I think Nick Saban finally found his kicker.

PAROLE TIDE!!!!!!

#1 Recruit Leonard Fournette Commits to "University of LSU"

#1 prospect Leonard Fournette is one of those rare athletes who plays football and only football.  Education be damn.  I don't know how well he will fit in at the "University of LSU" with all their scholars.  I feel bad for the kid with all the tutors writing his papers and filling out his tests while building up his draft stock in 3 seasons in Baton Rouge.  Rough life.  Hopefully he gets paid while he is there.  Luckily he choose a conference in the SEC which values education over cheating.

Wisconsin Badgers React To Randall Cobb's Game Winning Touchdown

The Wisconsin Badgers football team got together yesterday to watch the Bears-Packers game and as you can see the reactions were mixed.  And by mixed I mean the one dejected Badger in the Bears Matt Forte jersey who simply spiked his water bottle while the rest of his teammates wildly celebrated the improbable Randall Cobb touchdown catch.