I think it goes without saying but Auburn QB Nick Marshall is clearly a Communications Major. Could you even imagine being the sideline reporter and your job at the end was to dialect one Nick Marshall? We are going to need some help with this guy. Can anybody help? Here we go...
I play da football with da coach and something something peanut butter bread...
If the SEC ever does a "home of the student-athlete" ad it must include one Nick Marshall. He's got Rhodes Scholar written all over his confused face.
See this is what happens when you start letting women out of the kitchen. They start to do crazy things like vote, drive, get upper management jobs and now they are coming for you NFL. The No Fun League better watch their ass because the Lingerie League has some bad women ready to fight to the death. I would like to see Ray Rice lay his hands on one of these girls. Actually Roger Goodell would probably reduce his suspension if that happened.
Remember the old catchphrase "You Can't Spell Trojans without O.J" well it looks like captain Josh Shaw is taking one out of the old Simpson playbook and is caught in a lie about saving a family member. On Sunday night news broke that returning senior Shaw was hurt because he had to jump off a balcony to save his 7-year-old nephew from drowning. In the process of spraining both ankles news outlets across the nation including USC's own athletic department were quick to point out that Shaw was a hero for his deed and even had quotes from Shaw saying he would have done it for anybody. Well the problem now is the story is not true and now it's being reported Shaw is a suspect in a burglary in which he allegedly got hurt. USC doing USC things. I feel bad for new head coach Steve Sarkisian. No wait. I actually do not. Good luck with this cloud hanging over the program.
Just a year after coming off their best season in 40 plus years Michigan State revealed to the public their new football facilities which will hopefully keep them near the top in the Big Ten.
The new locker room looks cozy...
Today was MSU’s turn to show off a sparkling athletics facility, a $24.5 million, 50,000-square-foot renovation to the north end zone of Spartan Stadium anchored by a plush, spacious home locker room. The 15-month project was under way long before the Spartans won last season’s Rose Bowl, though that on-field success likely served to encourage donors.
It may not put MSU out front of that portion of the never-ending college sports “arms race,” but it eliminates the last glaring weak spot in MSU’s facilities roster — a decades-old locker room that was “an embarrassment,” MSU deputy athletic director Greg Ianni said.
Real mature Johnny Football. Real mature.
Honestly I don't know what to make of Manziel giving the Washington Redskins sideline the middle finger last night during Monday Night Football. I mean did he honestly think the cameras wouldn't see it? He can't be that stupid can he? Which leads me to believe this was a premeditated finger. He played like dog shit last night when he had the chance to lock down the starter's job because Brian Hoyer was fucking horrific too and he let the Redskins get to him. Rookie move bro. Gotta be smarter. The only place your digit should be going to is road beef and under your center's ass. Not to the whole world to see on Monday Night Football. This is completely out of character for Manziel too. If anything from the last two years we have learned Manziel is a very humble, down to earth hard worker who just wants his privacy while listening to his head coach on how to become a better leader.
I didn't understand a damn word she said but like I said before she isn't paid to be heard from. Jordan Carver has God given natural ability and talent and it's our duty to watch and pay attention to this athletic goddess work out. Let me ask you would you rather see Jordan do lunges or talk about Lebron James doing the ALS ice bucket challenge?
Yeah that's what I thought.
Keep doing you Jordan.
God bless FSU for cheering me up on this shitty Friday. While the proverbial shit is hitting the fan up in South Bend in which 4 Notre Dame players are getting suspended for banging a student advisor in exchange for doing their homework we have the always clean cut Semenholes showing their class. Love it. Do you FSU. Do you.
Awesome "dicksclaimer" by the way. I might have to start putting those on my shirts.
Via Irish Illustrated's Pete Sampson...
Brian Kelly announced on Wednesday afternoon that Everett Golson will start for Notre Dame against Rice.
The head coach told the staff on Tuesday night and informed Golson and Malik Zaire on Wednesday morning. Kelly added that it's unlikely Zaire will play this season in any kind of packages this season a la Andrew Hendrix and that if he gets time it will be because of either injury or Notre Dame being so far ahead that they can play reserves.
Golson as you know led Notre Dame to an undefeated 12-0 regular season before a humbling defeat in the National Title game vs Alabama during his one and only collegiate season in 2012. Coming off academic suspension Golson has gained 15 pounds of muscle while also working on his mechanics and footwork with noted QB guru George Whitfield in California. By all accounts Golson appears to be a more refined product who should be able to put up Heisman Trophy worthy numbers in Brian Kelly's offense now that they have the weapons and system in place to do so.
Prediction: Golson has a tremendous season leading the Fighting Irish to a 10-2 regular season record and a major bowl victory.
Prepare the fucking jolly roger! Yes it was a blind grab but who gives a shit. This play by Edinson Volquez deserves a slow golf clap.
Despite being absolutely shit canned and having newborn giraffe leg balance supermodel Chrissy Teigen still threw a decent first pitch at Dodgers Stadium. Teigen looks and acts like the girl who just wants everyone to think she is just one of the guys. This is cute and all till you realize she's being paid to be seen, not heard. I've never quite seen the appeal of Chrissy but hey at least she can hum it better than 50 Cent from the bump.
I think we all need to give Bama fans a dose of reality before they think they are a legit top 5 team this season.
A) You lost your two biggest games of the season to end the season.
B) You got fucking destroyed by Oklahoma in the bowl game.
C) You lost your best QB in 30 plus seasons to graduation in AJ McHandoff
D) You fucking hired Lane Kiffin to be your OC which is on scale with giving Superman an IV of kryptonite
E) The offensive line is in shambles
F) Your vaunted defense while playing a Mickey Mouse schedule only managed 17 sacks last season
G) Did I mention you hired Lane Kiffin who single handily tried his best to destroy USC football?
In other words temper your expectations Bama fans. You got talent but it's unproven. Granted you play another cupcake schedule with only two real tests in LSU and Auburn but don't think because you start October off undefeated that you have a legit shot at the college football playoffs this season. It's just plain dumb. Never go full retard Bama. Never.
Jordan Carver looks like a good wholesome shy chick who just wants to show her fans that even with her chest deformities you can persevere in this sometimes cruel world. Jordan keep doing your 200 squats. You are an inspiration!
Look I love dogs as much as any other guy but I don't talk about them like they're my girlfriend. I was waiting for Reveille to be shown in some doggy lingerie on his caretaker's bed when he said "she's the only woman in my life right now." Dude I get it that you love your dog but put away the peanut butter Aggie and go talk to some real women. Over/Under on this guy offing himself after this commercial airs nationwide has to be a month at the most right? As much as I love dogs and college football this commercial just made me feel like I was "forced" to watch some strange Mexican snuff film.
My gawd, he's only a freshman too. Everybody in SEC Country wants to talk about Todd Gurley and Leonard Fournette and for good reason but Nick Chubb to me will make the greatest impact this season. He's a fucking freak of nature. He's Chubb Strong. My gawd, only a freshman. I got money on Chubb going for over 1200 yards this season. Granted he is in Athens now and about half of his teammates will be suspended before kickoff vs Clemson.
Video via Dr. Saturday via BULLDAWG ILLUSTRATED
... Styrofoam tastes so fucking good. It's probably got less calories than a rice cake too. Delicious and nutritious. I gotta get me some Natty Light and styrofoam and make a night of it.
I can only imagine how much drool was pooled up on Chip Carey and Joe Simpson's chins after Braves shortstop Andrelton Simmons made another platinum glove play. Simba as he is affectionately called makes these plays so routine you almost forget how great of a fielder he is. Now if only his bat would come around then we could be looking at the best short stop in the game. At this point though he isn't even close to Troy Tulowitzki in that regard.
Keep on fighting the good fight Stuart. No easy words to use here other than cancer fucking sucks. But Scott is the type of person who can beat it because of his positivity and his ability to get the best treatment possible at John Hopkins. Keep on battling. You are an inspiration. Don't give up. Don't ever give up.
I guess I am no longer the most famous Towson University Alum. Kacy Catanzaro, a former gymnast at Towson, is the first female to ever advance to the American Ninja Warrior finals. You can see Mighty Kacy has some insane upper body strength along with great balance. She's not too bad on the eyes either. It's refreshing to see someone with some actual talent get the recognition she deserves unlike all of these "reality stars" of late.
Go Kacy!
With tip of the hats from Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, and David Letterman all this new Jordan commercial for Derek Jeter was missing was a few shots of his real accomplishments: his girlfriends. Minka Kelly, Jessica Alba, Mariah Carey, Adriana Lima, Jordana Brewster, Jessica Biel, Tyra Banks, and Vanessa Minnillo all in their prime had a piece of the Jeets. That's more impressive than anything he did on the diamond. He conquered numerous starlets off the field and had the intestinal fortitude to trade up every single time. Tip of the hat to you Jeter.
Speaking of Jeter is there a better shirt paying tribute to the guy than "The Captain?" Just so simple and perfectly stated. You might as well buy 7 of them for each day of the week.
Just like everything else in college football it's good to see the new playoffs will revolve around Notre Dame in some way. Because let's be honest without Notre Dame college football is just boring and irrelevant.
Isn't that right SEC mouth breather?
Welcome home Lebron. Now win some championships. It's only been over 50 years since Cleveland has experienced any championship of any kind. No pressure. Don't fuck it up.
And be sure to buy an official FOR6IVEN shirt while you are at it. This one. Not that shitty cheap version* they are selling up in Cleveland.
*full disclosure I'm actually jealous that shirt has sold out faster than ours. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. Must be a Cleveland thing.
Jesus Christ lady this isn't real sports we are talking about? It's women's basketball. Be nice like those Danish Handball players. No need to throw elbows around. Oh wait they were playing Great Britian you say? Carry on then.
This guy had to be shitfaced right? I mean nobody in their right mind slides like this. Just full on face into the dirt is only seen at The Preakness when either some drunk loses his balance on the porta potties or the horse gets tripped up before taking a trip to the glue factory.
Nice effort though.
Via BarStoolSports
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@sportscrack MT @uniwatch Reader describes Notre Dame’s new Shamrock Series uniforms. pic.twitter.com/pDaHvkV3DU
— Brody (@BrodyLogan) July 9, 2014
Got a hand it (pun intended) to the girl in yellow. She just went for it. Full hands all over blue. Surprised she didn't make a Peter Griffin honking noise when squeezing them. I'm going to need to do some more research on Danish Handball. Yeah. "Research."
Video via Ebaum's World
If you are into getting choked out by blokes in tight white shorts then I highly recommend trying out for the Australian Football League. Only a gentleman could survive such a light hearted affair.
Johnny Football doing his best Dan Marino impersonation? #rolledupbill pic.twitter.com/4YQniNvBmv
— SportsCrack Apparel (@sportscrack) July 7, 2014
When ever Big Papi gets popped for steroids will be the day justice was finally served for this egomaniac fraud. If Ortiz played for any other franchise besides the Red Sox he would be 100% hated. It would be Barry Bonds-like hatred. But instead he plays in Boston and everybody in the Northeast (except Yankees fans of course) likes him because he helped lead the Red Sox to 3 World Series titles. I hate his fucking attitude. He bitches and moans at his coaches, teammates, and even official scorers if he feels the least bit slighted. I call him the Black Shrek not just because he's an ugly dude who resembles an ogre but his heart is black too. He's the biggest phony in the game since A-Rod isn't technically playing right now and his stats along with his shriveled up grapes are 200% PED induced.
By the way if I was the pitcher I would hit him straight in the neck. He may be big but you know just like everything else about him Big Papi is all talk and would go down fast with one good punch.
After two reviews, one by the Cleveland Indians at 2nd base and one by the Los Angeles Dodgers at home plate, a triple play was confirmed by the Indians. Mark this in "shit I've never seen on a baseball field." Great throw by Michael Brantley. Brought back memories of my hose.
One Nation. One Team. Today is the day for USA Soccer to make a whole nation proud and do the impossible: Get to the quarterfinals. We already survived the "Group of Death" but that's not enough. We need to win today! We have to beat Belgium.
489 feet into the Kansas City fountain. It's ungodly how great of a player Mike Trout is. He should be working on his 3rd straight MVP in his first 3 seasons if only voters weren't so stupid to think that only players on teams who make the playoffs should win MVPs. Trout is a modern day Lou Gehrig. We are just lucky to see a player of his skill dominate the game of baseball.
Be honest how many people besides Texas Rangers fans knew Adrian Beltre was closing in on 2500 hits? It's a hell of an accomplishment from a great player and this might make the third baseman a sneaky Hall of Fame lock. But if he ever gets the vote into Cooperstown he has to also have someone try to touch his head before handing him his plaque. Miguel Cabrera, himself a future HOFer, gave Beltre a little head nod and you could see the pure fire in his eyes. He's just angry as shit. Love it.
Miami's 5:30 AM workout this morning - can't tell if it's a weight room or a night club []_[] https://t.co/FjH5K95l5U
— PickSix Previews ACC (@PickSix_ACC) June 25, 2014
I guess it's dark to hide all the hookers and blow! No lie this is how you get recruits to come to Miami. Just turn your 5:30 AM workouts into a full blown nightclub with a DJ and everyone will be jumping at the bit to get up and lift some weights and train. The Hurricanes and Al Golden are setting the tempo for modern college football.
Luis Suarez is obviously a vampire. pic.twitter.com/obu7Wlcw4K
— Professor Snape (@_Snape_) June 24, 2014
Suarez gonna have to wear this for the rest of the World Cup pic.twitter.com/piINWGYhtS
— World Cup 2014 (@WorIdCupp) June 24, 2014
Luis Suarez will also be starring in the next Jaws pic.twitter.com/Io2YnHn0l1
— (@NotDyslexic) June 24, 2014
This little fucker literally scared the shit out of me the first time I watched it. I don't recommend watching this human leprechaun while trying to pinch a loaf off.
