MY NEW FAVORITE REFEREE

ACC ref Walt Cherry tells it like it is. #69 was clearly "giving him the business" and for this you must be punished. I love refs that are honest and tell it like it is.

HT: AwfulAnnouncing via Mr Irrelevant

LOU HOLTZ WEEKLY PEP TALK
You know the Jayhawks have hit the big time when Lou Holtz is giving you pep talks...

The game of the year in College Football starts Saturday night at 8 pm on ABC. If you miss watching it for any other reason then family emergency(must be relative in household), death, passed out drunk then don't ever come back to this blog because I hate you already!

D-MAC BACK IN HEISMAN RACE

Darren McFadden put Arkansas on his broad shoulders and led them to a huge upset over the #1 ranked LSU Tigers. Running for 3 touchdowns and throwing for another, D-MAC rushed for 206 yards against a stout Tigers defense to up his season total to 1725. Will it be enough to vault him back to the top of the Heisman race? It all depends on what Tim Tebow does tomorrow against Florida State. If he shits the bed so to speak then I think McFadden has left the best memory in the Heisman voters heads. But if Tebow has his typical 4 touchdown game then he is the winner even if the Gators lose tomorrow. You simply can't ignore the ridiculous Playstation game stats Tebow has put up in the always rough and tough SEC this season.

So who are you taking? The Ultimate QB campaign or the D-MAC for Hei5man campaign?

Honestly I would not have a problem with either one of them winning. Both are tremendous athletes and are playing at the top of their game. And both guys are really great players and not just average talent like Troy Smith or Jason White who only won it because they played on great teams.

WEEKEND PICKS
Loosen up the belt a couple of notches and dive into these Thanksgiving weekend picks.
NEBRASKA +3.5 AT COLORADO
The Cornhuskers finally got their shit together and crushed Kansas State last week. The Buffs have been up and down all season and their recent trend is down. Who ever wins this game gets a bowl invitation to the Alzheimers Classic.
Prediction: Nebraska 27 Colorado 24

ARKANSAS +13.5 AT LSU
The Razorbacks know their coach Houston Nutt is on the way out and this will be a huge motivation tool for the players to play their A game this Friday. On the opposite end you have LSU who knows their coach Les Miles is going to ditch them after the season for Michigan. I think this game will be extremely close to the bitter drunk end.
Prediction: LSU 35 Arkansas 28

TEXAS -7 AT TEXAS A&M
The Aggies have been playing like garbage all season long. They beat the Longhorns last year but Colt McCoy and company remember the sting all too well. Good bye Franchione, this will be a blowout.
Prediction: Texas 42 Texas A&M 14

BOISE STATE +3 AT HAWAII
I like the Broncos in this one because I think they are the better team. In a game full of hideous uniforms and fat Samoans, the Broncos will end Hawaii's dream season and any chance of Colt Brennan getting invited to New York City.
Prediction: Boise State 254 Hawaii 252

VIRGINIA TECH -3.5 AT VIRGINIA
The Cavaliers have been scraping by every week until they met the heartless Hurricanes. Unfortunately for the Cavaliers the Hokies team they face on Saturday has a lot of heart and wants to play for the ACC Championship. Cavalier fans will cry into their apple martini's after this one.
Prediction: Hokies 20 Virginia 10

TENNESSEE AT KENTUCKY -2.5
The Wildcats haven't beaten the Volunteers in like a billion years. If the Vols win this one they will go the SEC Championship only to get destroyed by LSU. It isn't going to happen. Andre' Woodson plays the game of his life and helps the Georgia Bulldogs reach the SEC Title game.
Prediction: Kentucky 24 Tennessee 20

CONNECTICUT +17.5 AT WEST VIRGINIA
This seems like way too big of a spread for this game. I will take the Huskies with the points, West Virginia with the win.
Prediction: West Virginia 38 UCONN 28

OREGON AT UCLA +1.5
No Dennis Dixon means a Leaf gets to show his stuff. Big Ruh Roh on that one for the Ducks.
Prediction: UCLA 17 Oregon 14

GEORGIA -4 AT GEORGIA TECH
This game will be over by the third quarter unless Tashard Choice has a great game. The Bulldogs are more talented at every position on the field and are better coached. I'm actually kind of shocked the spread is so little. Special K will have a game to remember. It was good knowing you Chan Gailey.
Prediction: Georgia 42 Georgia Tech 20

NOTRE DAME +3.5 AT STANFORD
When was the last time the Irish actually won their last game of the season? I believe it was right before the Pilgrims destroyed the Indians with smallpox. The Irish are undefeated on the left coast this season and Jimmy Clausen will feel right at home in his native state. The Irish finally put together a winning streak.
Prediction: Notre Dame 35 Stanford 31

FSU +14 AT FLORIDA
I think the Seminoles will be able to put points on the board against the horrible Gator's secondary to keep them in the game. Tebow will be too much for the Criminoles to handle though.
Prediction: Florida 28 Florida State 24

MISSOURI +1.5 AT KANSAS
The game of the year as it should be called, this traditional rival will be a great one in Arrowhead Stadium. The Jayhawks come in undefeated behind the steady play of Todd Reesing. The Tigers come in smoking behind an incredible offense led by Chase Daniel and Jeremy Maclin. Who ever wins gets the chance to play Oklahoma for the Big 12 Championship.
Prediction: Mizzou 45 Kansas 35

IRON BOWL
Nick Saban is a douche!
Prediction: Auburn 26 Alabama 10

ANDREA KRAEMER WANTS THE BRADY D

Wow, that was awkward. Kraemer just laid it out there.

"See you next Sunday" she says as she bats her fake Jersey girl eyelashes as her panties slowly wet themselves. I think if I am Tom Brady, and thank god I'm not because seriously, the guy has an asshole for a chin, I would be getting some serious ribbing from my teammates.

I wonder if Randy Moss has fucked with his psyche and sent him some fake Kraemer love notes along with some granny panties from one of his ho's. This could get very interesting. I could see one of the dickheads from the 1972 Dolphins putting Andrea up to this. Or maybe she just really craves the Brady D.

Somewhere Giselle is steaming mad over this. Or is she?

By "steaming mad" I mean fondling herself while thinking of Sportscrack love sessions.

Video via Deadspin

FRAT BOYS

I don't really have a reason to post this sketch other than I thought it was funny. Seeing Christopher from the Sopranos hanging with Will Ferrell while acting like douchebag Frat Boys is funny you know. And by funny I mean shit in your pants till you can't shit anymore and then you just have your guts spilling out type funny.

CHRIS DOG...WE'RE #1!!

EXCESSIVE CELEBRATION?

HT: BarstoolSports

EXCUSE ME

I just found this wonderful groin tingling website of the Reef Girls Competition. I don't know what Reef Girls are but I do know they will now haunt me in my dreams and I am thinking about getting a one way ticket to Chile to watch the next contest. I think I'm going to have to cancel the Vegas bachelor party, it can't measure up to something like this. Beach, babes, hot weather, thongs, booze. You know what, fuck, I'm at a lost for words right now. Here are some other pictures...





I told her to stop staring at me but she won't listen.

HUSKER NATION: FEAR THE KATY, COME FOR THE MOTOR BOATS
Our buddy MacG found this glorious video about the strange, insane, often bizarre yet some what wonderful psychotic football world in the minds of Nebraska football fans. See, MacG is an insufferable Cornhusker's fan who longs for the days of Tom Osborne roaming the sidelines while they ran the I-formation down opponent's throats and stuffed the run with the Blackshirts defense. Now a days the only thing you can call the Nebraska defense is the Black Skirts.

Most of us don't know what being a Nebraska fan is like, well now you can get a little glimpse.

Fear the Katy.

But always come back for the motor boats from the lovely Nikki...

I love you Nikki!

JIM DON'T DO IT
Hey Mr. Knox, please don't jump on that semen stained rough surface couch in Manhattan, you might..oh shit, never mind, go get em Cowboy...

DON'T FUCK WITH THE GREEN TEAM
And remember, don't be a dick, recycle your glass dildos and wrap up your feces in tin foil...

LLOYD CARR STEPS DOWN, LET THE DOMINOES BEGIN

This morning to no one's surprise Lloyd Carr resigned/retired/was going to get fired as Michigan's Head Football Coach after 13 seasons which included 5 Big Ten Championships and 1 National Championship. Not being a Carr fan for obvious reasons, I respect Carr for the way he went out and decided to do it now in order to help Michigan find the right coach and recruit. As we all know LSU Head Coach Les Miles is the leading candidate to replace him and thus if he decides to take the job as I expect he would it would create a domino effect in the college coaching fraternity.

When Les Miles leaves LSU to go back to his alma mater it will then open up one of the best coaching jobs in the nation at LSU. The Tigers of Baton Rouge are stacked with NFL ready talent at all positions and again will be a contender for the National Title next season with Ryan Perrilioux stepping in at QB(granted he isn't suspended or arrested during the offseason). Who will replace Miles remains a mystery. The leading candidate would be current defensive coordinator Bo Pelini but he could take the job at Nebraska once Bill Callahan is fired. Right now I think the best coach for Nebraska is current Buffalo coach Turner Gill who is a former player at Nebraska. He has managed to turn around a terrible football program in Buffalo in just his second season.

Other coaching positions likely to open up include Texas A&M(Dennis Franchione is a fraud), Georgia Tech(Chan Gailey is good for a max of 7 wins but not much more), UCLA(Sorry, Karl Dorrell is not the long term answer for the Bruins), Washington(because they are racist and don't want a shitty coach) and possibly Auburn if Tommy Tuberville gets wooed by the Aggies once they buy out Franchione.

Personally I can't wait to see how Miles handles all the Michigan questions. In a season full of upsets and surprises it will be very interesting to see how the LSU team responds the next two weeks despite all the distractions with a probable coaching switch. The LSU fans are going to be irrate when Miles says he wants to stay in LSU and focus on the season lying ahead to only fuck them in the end by bolting for Michigan shortly after their bowl game. It's inevitable.

It will also create a major clusterfuck in terms of recruiting. With as many as 5 major college football programs undergoing changes in coaching personnel, a lot of recruits are going to back out of commitments and look else where. Guys like Pete Carroll, Urban Meyer, Charlie Weis, and Jim Tressel know how to get players to switch allegiances so we could see a lot of bickering and bitching among college football fans about teams poaching recruits.

This is just another reason why college football is such a great spectator sport. All the shit that happens off the field makes it interesting year round.

Let the blood bath begin.

NEW SHIRT
We call it the "Special K" shirt because of the amazing things #24 has done on the field this year in Athens. On the front of the shirt we have the "Special K" emblem which we hope you like. We were inspired by some rugby designs because it seems when KnowMo is out there he is always spinning, juking, making people miss and giving everything he has 100% of the time. On the back of the shirt is his number 24 with the Sportscrack logo above it.

We are taking pre-orders now. Be sure to spread the word to all the fans of Special K and Georgia...

Pic courtesy of BigTenPoon
WEEKEND PICKS
OHIO STATE(-3.5) AT MICHIGAN
Henne, Hart, and Long have never beaten the Buckeyes and it was the main reason why these guys came back for their senior years. Too bad they came back to lose another one to their arch rival.
Prediction: Ohio State 35 Michigan 21


KENTUCKY AT GEORGIA(-8)
The Bulldogs have been playing like they are on a mission since Knowshon has been getting the carries. The Wildcats on the other hand have been struggling since they beat LSU. The Red Out will work in Athens.
Prediction: Georgia 38 Kentucky 24

MISSOURI(-7.5) AT KANSAS STATE
This could be a big trap game for the Tigers who could be looking ahead to their showdown next week against Kansas. But I think Chase Daniel will keep the Tigers focused on their goals and take a some what close game in the third to a blowout in the end.
Prediction: Mizzou 45 Kansas State 31

VANDERBILT(+12.5) AT TENNESSEE
Upset central!!!
Prediction: Vandy 21 Tennessee 17

DUKE AT NOTRE DAME(-7)
The Shitter Bowl matches up two 1-9 teams with nothing to play for besides pride and dignity. I would say those are two big reasons for the Fighting Irish to come out and kick some ass. Clausen has a really good game throwing for 4 TDs.
Prediction: Notre Dame 35 Duke 14

LSU(-19) AT MISSISSIPPI
Total mismatch!
Prediction: LSU 38 Ole Miss 10

WEST VIRGINIA(-6) AT CINCINNATI
The Bearcats are tough at home but the Mountaineers have way more weapons. Pat White goes off!
Prediction: West Virginia 35 Cincy 20

OKLAHOMA(-7.5) AT TEXAS TECH
Just going on a hunch here, I think the Sooners come out for blood.
Prediction: Oklahoma 31 Texas Tech 21

JUST SUE THEM FOR THE GIPPER!
Apparently family members get pissed when you dig up a deceased relative for the purpose of using it on an Entertainment Sports Programming Network. The World Wide Leader in Sports is being sued by relatives of the George Gipp for lawyer speak that I have neither the brain nor patience to look up so I will simply quote them in this here fancy Blogger quotes:

It accuses the defendants of negligence, "willful and wanton misconduct, trespass and nuisance" and says the exhumation caused "extreme shock, fright, humiliation and mortification" for other relatives. It seeks at least $25,000, although a jury would set damages if the suit prevailed.

No word on whether Charlie Weis is named in the lawsuit for personally destroying Notre Dame's football history by forcing Gipp to turn over in his grave starting with the Georgia Tech debacle leading up to the most recent inexcusable losses to the service academies.

ALABAMA BOOBIES
I found this little quick gem over at PoonoftheSEC. Not only do people in the South get to watch killer college football but since the weather is always nice the ladies love to show off the puppies. Here is a quick clip of some degenerate dingle berry* zooming in to get a little up close face time with some wonderful Bama Melons.



Great job on the quick pan to the left by the cameraman. I'm thinking this guy could do a really good job in the Van Nuys film business.

*=Every dude

GOOD BYE OREGON AND DENNIS DIXON
Well, it was fun while it lasted for the Oregon Ducks. The Ducks got exposed by an average Arizona Wildcats last night in front of a packed house and not only suffered the curse of another #2 team to lose to an unranked opponent this year but also lost their leading Heisman contending QB in Dennis Dixon to a knee injury. With the Ducks now shot down this opens the door for Kansas or any other Big 12 team(Missouri and Oklahoma) for that matter to make it to the BCS title game if one of them wins out.

So what does it mean for the Heisman? It should have been Tim Tebow's to lose in the first place even before Dixon went down with an injury but now it becomes even more apparent. Sure Chase Daniel could make his case if he send Missouri to a Big 12 Championship game but I think Tebow is the better player and deserves it as long as he keeps putting up the numbers he has in the SEC. The fucking guy has 19 rushing touchdowns for Christ's sake! Anyways, last night was again proof that all the pundits out there, including myself, don't know shit when it comes to College Football this season. I knew the Wildcats would give them a game but I thought Oregon would be able to handle them with a strong Jonathan Stewart performance. By the way Stewart, if he comes back, would be the best back in the nation next season.

As for the BCS scenarios I'm not so sure people should be penciling in LSU into the title game. I think if Georgia can somehow make the SEC Championship game in Atlanta then they can beat the Tigers behind a strong performance from the legs of Knowshon Moreno, or Special K as I call him, and the big arm of Matthew Stafford. Of course Georgia would need to win their final SEC game against Kentucky and hope for Tennessee to slip up which I think they will against Vandy to get to the SEC Championship. So if LSU gets beat which I think is 50/50 right now, then who gets the other spot against the Big 12 Champion for the BCS Title?

WEST FUCKIN VIRGINIA!!!

Personally I hope this happens because I would love to see Pat White, Steve Slaton, and Noel "Ain't It" Devine go against one of the high scoring Big 12 Championship teams. I really don't care if it's Oklahoma, Missouri, or Kansas because all 3 teams have been highly entertaining to watch and a match up with West Virginia would be a wild shoot out reminiscent of the BCS Title game two years ago.

A playoff is what we need no doubt. Just think if every playoff game was as electric as last night in Tuscon. This is what we would get for 3-4 straight weeks....

There is no way I could have held out that long in not rushing the field with a funnel hat and whip cream covering my nipples in delight while laying a booze dripping wet one on Mike Stoops. Don't judge me people!

LOU'S PEP TALK FOR THE SHITTER BOWL

The sad part is Holtz has more emotion, passion and heart in this clip than anything the Irish have displayed this year. 1-9 Notre Dame plays 1-9 Duke this Saturday. Hide the women, children, hell even dogs don't deserve to be subjected to such cruel punishment.

HOW YOU LIKE THESE APPLES BARRY BONDS?

You have just been indicted bitch! This is now the second happiest day of my life outside of losing my virginity to that sweet Taiwan hooker with one leg. Here is a recap:

Barry Bonds was indicted today on perjury and obstruction of justice charges, culminating a four-year federal investigation into whether he lied under oath to a grand jury looking into steroid use by elite athletes.

The indictment came three months after the 43-year-old Bonds passed Hank Aaron to become baseball's career home run leader. Bonds parted ways with the San Francisco Giants after the season.

While Bonds was chasing Aaron, a grand jury was working behind closed doors to put the finishing touches on the long-rumored indictment.

You know what, they should make November 15th a new national holiday. Maybe call it the "Don't fuck with the national pasttime or government Bonds!" Day. I can already see the Hallmark cards!

It's time to go celebrate people. Good finally won. Don't hold back...

STATE PENN LIVING UP TO IT'S NAMESAKE
Just when you think the Nittany Lions football team has finally shaped up and gotten their shit together, well, this kind of crap happens...

“In the center of the group were two males yelling toward the group of people that had just finished brutally attacking one of them," the criminal complaint states.

Another man was trying to calm the person police said had been attacked. The victim's shirt, according to the complaint, was covered in blood and the victim was trying to use it to stem the flow of blood. Police saw swelling on his entire face, lips and nose and an injury to the eye. His nose was fractured and his lip was split, the complaint stated.

The victim was yelling: "It took 15 football players to attack me," according to the criminal complaint.

The two meathead jackasses who have been charged with the most serious crimes are defensive lineman Chris Baker and linebacker Navarro Bowman. They basically beat the Paterno out of a student who apparently brushed one of their shoulders. Both are being charged with aggravated assault, simple assault, stalking and disorderly conduct, and summary harassment. Don't even ask me what summary harassment is unless I guess you could call it being a borderline student/retard who doesn't know how to summarize events that just took place.

It's good to see the Penn State team has been taught great discipline by JoePA and learned to attack a defenseless student as a team of 15 in order to assure the outcome.

In related news the #1 shirt sold on Penn State's campus since the unfortunate incident with those asshole Buckeye fans who so rudely walked on the hallowed grounds of Nappy Valley has been the State Penn shirt.
It's good to know that somebody has replaced Miami as a program with more convicts than actual students/athletes.

Remember people, "this is Penn State bitch!!!!"


Big Kudos to Gerald for the link.