HOCKEY TALK
I just realized I haven't talked about hockey all season. Part of the reason is there has been nothing really exciting to talk about. My Thrashers have rebounded back to .500 hockey after a terrible start in which they fired their coach and replaced him with the GM. One of the Neidermeyers is coming back to Anaheim. The Detroit Red Wings are kicking ass in their filthy crime stricken shit hole of a city covered by dirty pee snow that reeks of manure and hooker spit.

But the real important reason to talk about the NHL is for the fans. It's the only sport outside of Nascar (haha..Nascar a sport, funny isn't it?) where you fit in sporting a mullet. Take for instance this wonderful inbred at a New York Islanders game...

Every Boy Scout in America just thought to themselves "is that my Troop leader?"
What are the odds he passed out in the concourse shortly after and urinated all over himself? I'm going to say the odds are good, maybe a 90% probability. By the way if you want to know what a Michigan Wolverine fan looks like then take another look. There is a reason why Les Miles is hesitant to take the job. Fear the Mullets!

VIDEO HT: WithLeather

ARTHUR BLANK HOPES VICK DOESN'T EAT TOO MUCH FRIED CHICKEN
I was one of the few people last night who actually watched the whole Monday Night debacle of a football game and I thought I was drunk or hallucinating when I heard Falcon's owner Arthur Blank say "fried chicken" in reference to Michael Vick. Apparently I heard it right...

Honestly I could think of a million jokes to say right now but I think I will keep my mouth shut. I'm not going to lie though, I have a serious craving for some watermelon right now. I always thought Blank looked like one of those dirty used car salesmen but after watching this he comes off worse in my mind. I'm sure Blank's statement was more of a Freudian slip of the tongue but you know deep down inside Blank really wants to just smack Vick with his $1000 lion skin glove across the face and tell him "to get the fuck out of here."

And what was up with Roddy White displaying a shirt underneath his jersey that displayed "Free Mike Vick." Free him from what? I guess his own stupidity because he lied to everybody including the federal government about his involvement with killing dogs. I know they are just backing up their former teammate but it kind of sickened me to realize that some people still don't think what he did was wrong.

I'm going to say it once more and that's it: Vick is a degenerate liar, a felon, and a puppy killer! He deserves to be in jail and even he realizes it now. So please stop backing up this piece of garbage saying he got a raw deal and pointing out how guys like O.J. and Jayson Williams got off for far more hideous crimes. Just because two jack asses got a free pass doesn't mean Vick deserves too.

VIDEO HT: AwfulAnnouncing

RANDOM JOKE
A man enters the hospital for a circumcision. When he comes to after the procedure, he’s perturbed to see several doctors standing around his bed.

“Son, there’s been a bit of a mix-up,” admits the surgeon. “I’m afraid there was an accident, and we were forced to perform a sex-change operation. You now have a vagina instead of a penis.”

“What!” gasps the patient. “You mean I’ll never experience another erection?”

“Oh, you might,” the surgeon reassures him. “Just not yours.”

MICHAEL VICK GOING TO PRISON FOR 23 MONTHS
The sad conclusion that is Michael Vick's life came to an apex today as he was sentenced to 23 months in federal pound him in the ass prison. Who would have thought a year ago that Marcus would be looked at as the good child in the family? Well, there he was holding and hugging his weaping mother as the sentence was called out today in court for his once superstar brother.

Now that Vick is gone for almost two years maybe now the Atlanta Falcons can move on and actually build a winning franchise without a felon leading the way. I've attended two Falcon games this year and I can say just by looking at the lack of notable players retired in the Falcon's Ring of Fame and also only 3 banners hanging without a single SuperBowl victory in their 40 plus years as a franchise that Vick isn't the reason why the Falcons suck. They suck because they have been a horrible run franchise forever and even since Arthur Blank bought them. They made a terrible decision in putting all their eggs in one basket with Vick and it has cost them.

Also it's time for the Falcons to fire GM Rich McKay. He has made so many bad personnel decisions during his time in Atlanta I'm not sure why people considered this guy as a viable replacement for NFL commissioner.

Anyways, Falcons fans pretty much reacted like this today when hearing of the Vick sentence....

Word out of St. Louis from Post Dispatch writer Joe Strauss is that the Cardinals are going after Orioles ace Erik Bedard. The catch is that in order to get the lefty they would have to literally give up the farm for him. This means giving up Colby Rasmus their center fielder of the future. If you havent heard anything about Colby he is a 20 year old stud. He has 5 tool talent, but that isn't even the best part. The guy is a true gym rat that loves to play his heart out each and every day. He is a coaches dream to be able to coach and he will be a fan favorite instantly. Especially in a city like St. Louis. Chances are real good that he will make it to the big leagues before he is able to legally throw back some Budweisers. On a team where you have most of your salary locked up into Phat Albert you have to keep your young studs who will be cheap for a good 5 years.

Rasmus won't be the only guy they have to give up. When I talked about giving up the farm I meant it. The Cardinals are known for having a weak farm system and the Orioles are asking for every top prospect that they have in return for their Canadian hurler. This includes future closer Chris Perez. This guy, who I feel is major league ready right now, is a natural closer which is tough to find nowadays. Then there is a young power hitting catcher and their best lefty starter Jaime Garcia.
That is quite a large bounty for power arm lefty who is injury prone.

My plea to John Mozeliak is to hold on to the youngsters that you have. Don't build for one or two good years. Build for a dynasty.

Go Cards

MAYWEATHER VS. HATTON

Before the fight took place I thought Ricky Fatton Hatton was going to knock out Mayweather in the 10th round. Well, at least I had the round correct. Mayweather proved to be the best pound for pound fighter last night by destroying the previously undefeated Hatton with lightning quick jabs and hooks that left the Brit dazed and confused. After watching Mayweather's dual a few months back with De La Stockings I thought he was just a dancer(all though I was reminded by Kevin, the host of the party numerous times of Mayweather's appearance on Dancing with the Stars) but found out last night he is the real deal.

Last night's fight lived up to the hype. It was exciting to hear the pro-Hatton crowd chanting throughout the night. It reminded us of the explosive showdown's in golf between Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson. You know, just like it but the complete opposite with people who actually care about who is competing.

And for anyone wondering and I'm sure you were not, yes, I was rooting for Hatton before the fight started. I like guys who love to drink and eat during their offseason regime and are easily approachable. But after hearing all those drunk, dickhead Brits boo the National Anthem before the first punch was thrown I was 100% in Mayweather's corner.

CFB DEFENSIVE ALL-AMERICAN TEAM
My apologies for the delay in revealing the Sportscrack defensive All-American team but the Mexican food down here in Atlanta is fighting an endless war with Bowel movements. Again I watched a lot of video, read a lot of articles, and got some insight from Youporn.com in between screaming at AT&T for their shitty customer service. Just another day in the life my friends!

DEFENSIVE LINE

Glenn Dorsey(LSU Tigers)-The big defensive tackle down on the Bayou has wrapped his mitt around almost every single defensive award this season and there is no reason to leave him off this one. His effectiveness was derailed during the Auburn game when some douchebag O-lineman tried to cut his future NFL whore loving life away by one chop block. But Dorsey never bitched and moaned and instead kept trying to play. I like those type of players.

Trevor Laws(Notre Dame)-Big Trev led the nation in defensive lineman tackles with 112. Playing with a motor that never stops, Laws was one of the few bright spots on the Fighting Irish this season. If the Irish had 21 other players play with the type of heart, hustle, and emotion that Laws displayed all season then they could have been a bowl team. Simply putting it: Laws was a blood thirsty beast among chickens.

Chris Long(Virginia)-A force at defensive end all season, Howie's son racked up 14 sacks and destroyed opponents QBs and RBs. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he hurt a lot of O-linemen's feelings and left them wondering if playing football is the best career choice for them. Long is a great one and will be a force at the next level.

George Selvie(South Florida)-Selvie came out of nowhere to lead the nation with 31 1/2 tackles for loss this season. Unstoppable off the end, Selvie played and hustled himself into a top draft pick in 2008.

Vernon Gholston(Ohio State)-Vernon made it impossible not to take 5 defensive lineman for the first team All-American. He was unstoppable all season and made Michigan's Jake Long look like a little school girl who just got her lolli-pop stolen. Oh yeah, he had 13 sacks this season to rank 4th in the nation. Only a junior, I believe he played himself up to a top 15 pick if he decides to leave Columbus early.

Honorable mention: Greg Middleton(Indiana), Bruce Davis(UCLA), Maurice Evans(Penn State), Greg Hardy(Ole Miss), Sedrick Ellis(USC)

LINEBACKERS


Dan Connor(Penn State)-Another link in the great Penn State chain of stellar linebackers. Connor proved he could take over a defense this season and has lived up to the hype he received coming out of high school. A sure fire first round draft pick.

James Laurinaitis(Ohio State)-A force to be reckoned with ever since he stepped foot on campus his freshman season, the Little Animal might be the best linebacker ever to play in a Buckeye uniform. It will be interesting to see if he comes back next season to play for a top 5 Buckeye team or leave for the NFL.

Jordon Dizon(Colorado)-This Hawaiian bred player has recorded 270 tackles the past two seasons in Boulder. A fast and fluid player, Dizon is a sure tackler who plays the position the way it should be played: 100% hustle all the time.

J Leman(Illinois)-A tackling machine, Leman again led the Illini in tackles with well over a 100 for the season. Maybe not the most gifted but the kid plays with a lot of heart on the field and is a big reason why the Fighting Zooks are playing in the Rose Bowl. And no, the Illini do not deserve to be playing there but that is another conversation.

Honorable mention: Erin Henderson(Maryland), Shawn Crable(Michigan), Curtis Lofton(Oklahoma), Jonathan Goff(Vanderbilt)

SECONDARY

Antoine Cason(Arizona)-The definition of a shut down corner, Cason won the Thorpe Award for the best defensive back in the nation. Cason finished with five interceptions, 14 pass breakups, two forced fumbles and a sack during his senior season.

Aqib Talib(Kansas)-A jack of all trades player, Talib played both cornerback and wide receiver for the upstart Jayhawks. This kid is a ball hog and one of the main reasons why Kansas played themselves into a top 10 team. That and playing a horrible schedule.

Craig Steltz(LSU)-A strong safety force for the Tigers all season, he is essentially the quarterback for their defense. The kid makes plays all over the field and is a big game player.

Jamie Silva(Boston College)-People in Boston and Massachusetts might not give a rat's ass about BC, but that doesn't mean Silva is not worthy of being regarded as one of the top safeties in the nation. Almost crazy to think two white dudes made the secondary but after this season nothing really makes sense.

Honorable mention: Alphonso Smith(Wake Forest), Malcolm Jenkins(Ohio State), Taylor Mays(USC), William Moore(Missouri)

SPECIAL TEAMS

Punter
Durant Brooks(Georgia Tech)-He kicks it the farthest and can directional kick it to pin opponents deep in their zone.

Honorable mention: Kevin Huber(Cincinnati)

Placekicker
Thomas Weber(Arizona State)-Only missed one kick all season.

Honorable mention-Louie Sakoda(Utah)

Kickoff Returner
Jeremy Maclin(Missouri)-Returned two punts and one kickoff for touchdowns this season as a freshman.

Honorable mention-Felix Jones(Arkansas)

Punt Returner
Leodis McKelvin(Troy)-Lead the nation with 3 punt returns for touchdowns.

Honorable mention-Desean Jackson(Cal)

CHRISTIAN NUT JOB KURT WARNER JOINS GANG

I always knew Warner was Lucifer's son. How else can one explain going from supermarket bag boy to SuperBowl MVP winning QB in a matter of years? And just to prove he plays on the dark side he is promoting gangs to kids. What a dickface! Stay away Warner and tell your psycho wife we don't take kindly to evil spiky hair lesbians down in these parts. At least that is what all the good wholesome Christians tell me when they think I'm a lady living with my girlfriend.

Video HT: Deadspin

GEORGIA TECH HIRES PAUL JOHNSON
The Yellow Jackets finally hit one out of the ballpark with this hiring. Johnson is a great coach and has made perennial winners out of Georgia Southern and the Naval Academy so the chances of him getting Tech over the 7 win a year hump is good. Johnson is suppose to be announced at 5:30 today with a contract of 6 years at a reported $16 million plus over the term.

If there was one thing fired coach Chan Gailey could do it is recruit athletes. Johnson will be entering a Tech program who desperately wants to beat their arch rival Georgia whom they have lost 7 straight.

It still baffles me that Michigan didn't try to get Johnson. Of course Michigan alumni and fans will tell you they never wanted him and while that may be true the person Johnson reminds me of is Jim Tressel coming out of Youngstown State. A lot of people thought Tressel couldn't succeed at Ohio State because he was going from 1-AA to D1 and he wasn't energetic enough for Big Ten football. Well, all I know is Tressel is one of the top 5 coaches in all of college football and I believe Johnson is on that path. If you can make Navy a winner you can pretty much succeed where ever you go.

By the way, I heard Michigan is still trying to hire the ghost of Bo after being turned down by Les Miles, Greg Schiano, Kirk Ferentz, and a slew of other candidates.

SPORTSCRACK CFB ALL-AMERICAN TEAM
This bizarre, ass backwards season has made no sense but hopefully this All-American list does. I went through all the stats, the level of importance the player had to his team, and watched a lot of video and read a lot of articles on the players. Again, this team is based on performance this season and not in the past. So here you go, this is the offensive side of the ball so feel free to curse and laugh all you want.

QUARTERBACK

Tim Tebow(Florida Gators)-This was probably the biggest no brainer for me. The kid has redefined the position and dominated the toughest conference in all of college football. He has a combined 51 touchdowns and is a tough son of a you know what. He should win the Heisman but if he doesn't it's only because the old farts who vote are too set in their ways.

Honorable mention-Chase Daniel(Missouri)

RUNNINGBACKS
Darren McFadden(Arkansas Razorbacks)-I don't think I really need to explain this one. More than likely the best player in the country when he isn't taking games off, D-MAC should be the first pick in the NFL Draft. By the way, I like him more than Adrian Peterson coming out last year.

Kevin Smith(Central Florida)-2448 yards is an insane number for a rushing total by a runningback. Even more insane is the amount of carries Smith got: 415! He also had a LT like 30 total touchdowns.

Honorable mention-Jonathan Stewart(Oregon), Rashard Mendenhall(Illinois)

WIDE RECEIVERS

Michael Crabtree(Texas Tech)-He set a NCAA freshman record with 21 TD catches while leading the nation in catches(125) and receiving yards(1861). Umm, yeah, he is a for sure, no questions asked All-American.

Jordy Nelson(Kansas State)-A white receiver, can you effing believe it? I'm still in shock. Nelson, a white dude who runs extremely fast. Wait a second. Did I mention he is white? Anyways, he had 122 catches for 1606 yards which both are second only to Crabtree. For a white guy that is amazing.

Mario Manningham(Michigan)-Super Mario had another stellar season. Most likely his last for the Maize and Blue when he decides to enter the NFL Draft, Manningham had over a 1000 yards receiving while catching 11 TDs.

Honorable mentions: James Hardy(Indiana), Percy Harvin(Florida), Devin Thomas(Michigan State)

TIGHT END

Travis Beckum(Wisconsin)-High expectations going into this season didn't slow down Beckum in Madison. With nearly a 1000 yards receiving and 73 catches, Beckum was the most consistent tight end in the country despite having an average QB throwing him the ball. Plus he is so good one of his o-lineman tried to give him head(picture right). Geez guys, get a room.

Honorable mention: Fred Davis(USC)

OFFENSIVE LINE
Jake Long(Michigan)-He almost got taken off this list after seeing him thrown around a couple of times against Ohio State. More than likely the first o-lineman to be taken in the draft, Long finished his career 0-4 against the Buckeyes.

Anthony Collins(Kansas)-What has the world come to when I'm putting freaking Jayhawks on my All-American team? Collins was a monster all season and a reason why the Jayhawks were so efficient on offense.

Jonathan Luigs(Arkansas)-Reason #2 Arkansas is so good at running the ball the past three seasons. The #1 reason of course is D-MAC and Felix Jones.

Adam Spieker(Missouri)-What does MIZZOU mean? I don't get it, there are no Z's in Missouri. Is it redneck for show me? Oh yeah, Spieker dominated the line of scrimmage all season.

Michael Oher(Ole Miss)-This guy scares the living piss out of me. Just looking at his picture I had a little trickle come out. He is on this list strictly because I want to live for another 30 good drinking years of my life.

I will be posting my defensive All-American team as soon as my diarhea goes away. I had Mexican for lunch.

TONY LARUSSA HATES SCOTT ROLEN
St. Louis Cardinals thirdbaseman Scott Rolen has been a hot trade topic during the winter meetings and I guess now we know why. Manager/light weight wine connoseiur Tony Larussa can't stand his guts. My first guess was it had something to do with Larussa demanding his star player to be his designated driver but there is much more to the story. Apparently Rolen isn't a team player and has no desire to play for the Cardinals or Larussa.

As for the rift with Rolen, La Russa said, "I can't remember ever being the combination of mystified and concerned as I am about this situation."

La Russa admitted hostilities began after Rolen expressed unhappiness over the way he was treated while suffering shoulder problems last year but indicated the veteran third-sacker was off-base.

"I think he has put some things in his mind, and I think he needs to understand that our Cardinals have given him a lot since he's gotten there. He's been given a contract, he's been given a couple of World Series, he's been given a world championship, been a part of it, and he's given back some. But he needs to give back more."

As for Rolen's desire to be traded, La Russa said, "The whole idea isn't to please Scott. It's to take care of the St. Louis Cardinals. I don't understand why he can be down on the Cardinals. I don't understand why he can be down on me, to be honest.

"The idea is to accommodate the St. Louis Cardinals, our team, our responsibility to our players and to the competition. So, no, I don't want to accomodate Scott.

"What I care about is that he re-establish his stature as a major league, productive star. He needs to understand that he has slipped. Not in his play, but just in the way he's perceived in being the Scott they knew for years. It's in his best interests, and I think that means a lot to him. He can play mad every day if he wants to. That's OK."

I think the moral of the story is for Larussa to start bumming rides from other people when he has a little too much to drink. No wonder the Cardinals have been talking to the Orioles about Miguel Tejada, another player whose performance is slipping with every missing B-12 supplement down the drain.

THE AWARD FOR THE MOST RIDICULOUS TRADE RUMOR
Goes to this supposed rumor from a "trusted source who is a New York sportswriter."
I'm sorry, I couldn't even type that last sentence without laughing my ass off. Here is how it would go down according to MLBTradeRumors:

Mets get Johan Santana, Bobby Crosby and Dan Johnson
A's get Jose Reyes and Kevin Mulvey
Twins get Dan Haren and Hector Pellot

If you haven't checked out MLBTradeRumors then I would highly recommend it for it's entertainment value. The guy who runs the site, Tim Dierkes, does an excellent job of keeping up with all the MLB beat writers and usually breaks the news on big trades or a signing before ESPN gets to it. With that being said I can't see how this trade would ever be made. First off I can't ever imagine the Mets trading Jose Reyes unless they get absolutely blown away by a package. Reyes is an absolute stud and despite his horrific stretch run in which his slump led to some Met's fans to blame him for not making the playoffs last year there is still no way I would trade him. And despite what Peter Gammons says Bobby Crosby is not a MVP type player and he is not even close to being in the same discussion with Reyes in terms of talent and performance on the Major League level. Plus I still believe Santana is going to the Red Sox they just need to iron out a contract extension with him before the trade is finalized.

But you know a trusted New York sportswriter says it so it must have some truth to it...right?

GEORGIA TECH INTERVIEWING NAVY'S PAUL JOHNSON
According to Tony Barnhart of the AJC, Navy head coach Paul Johnson is in Atlanta today interviewing for the open position at Georgia Tech. With Randy Edsall going back to UCONN and other candidates such as Auburn's Will Muschamp and Florida's Charlie Strong not being asked back for a second interview, it appears that Johnson would be the leading candidate for the job if the interview goes well today with athletic director Dan Radakovich. Johnson has prior coaching experience in the state, leading Georgia Southern to National Championships in 1999 and 2000.

We all know what he did at Navy, turning a 1 win team into a force while leading the Midshipmen to their 5th consecutive bowl game this season. Johnson in my opinion would be a major coup for the Yellow Jackets. The guy can flat out coach and as of now his only other interview has been with SMU. I would not be surprised to hear he has accepted the Georgia Tech position by the end of tomorrow if he is in fact offered the job. The only other candidate is current interim coach/defensive coordinator Jon Tenuta who has been rumored to be leaving the Flats to take the coordinator position at LSU under Les Miles.

NEW SHIRT
It has been way overdue but we finally came out with a shirt that basically gives the old FU to the BCS. The BC$ Bowl Corrupt System t-shirt is designed to let everyone know how you feel about the BCS. This shirt is charcoal and the design is distressed/worn to give it a vintage look and feel. Spread the word Sportscrack heads about the new shirt, they are on sale now starting at a low price of $15.

TIGERS ACQUIRE MIGUEL CABRERA AND DONTRELLE WILLIS?
The deal hasn't been finalized but it is being reported the Detroit Tigers and the Florida Marlins have agreed to a deal in place that would send All-Stars Cabrera and Willis for young studs Cameron Maybin, Andrew Miller, and four other prospects.

Wow, this would make the Tigers on par with the Red Sox in my opinion.

I will have more on this trade later if in fact it is true and not some Peter Gammons/Buster Olney BS fluff we get every year.

UPDATE: It's being reported as a done deal now on ESPN. Excellent trade for both teams and indeed an enormous blockbuster pulled off finally. Makes you wonder what the Angels are going to do now? Rumored to be close to making a deal for Cabrera for some of their hot shot prospects, it would seem they would give the Baltimore Orioles a call now for pitcher Erik Bedard and Miguel Tejada. If the Angels offer SS Brandon Wood, SP Jered Weaver, SP Nick Adenhart, and C Jeff Mathis I think the O's would make the deal.

CHAMPIONSHIPS AND PORN
Our favorite New Yorker, Carl, is back and ready to let you know what he thinks about the Buckeyes, or Suckeyes as he says...

Breaking Carl's Sanity.

BART SCOTT'S COMMENTS
Wow, last night was one of the most entertaining Monday Night Football games I have ever watched. I was pulling hard for the Ravens to close it out but I had this feeling the Patriots were going to win it in the end because God loves anything associated with Boston right now. Anywho, the Raven's defense was playing with more intensity than a room full of deranged monkeys pumped with speed and banana peels.

Clutching, screaming, cursing, holding, spitting. It was all there to be watched on a frigid night in Charm City. Pretty boy Tom Brady was getting more frustrated than the first time he found out Giselle had a dick. Seriously people, she has an adam's apple bigger than her balls.

But to top it all off Raven's linebacker Bart Scott went completely berserk on one of the referees. Apparently the ref called teammate Samari Rolle a "boy" and this set off Scott.

Asked about his meltdown on national television which accumulated more than 30 yards in penalties, Scott had this to say about the refereeing...

TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES
I've been having some technical problems with my DSL modem. By technical I mean the stupid thing is not working and I'm about to go ape shit on it soon. I got a lot of things to say about the Monday Night meltdown by the Baltimore Ravens, the latest Hot Stove talk, and wanted to express my love and desire to marry the BCS so I could constantly be fucked over every year.

But until I get Bellsouth to get their lazy asses out here to fix it then I'm pretty much screwed. I'm typing this in a Kinko's right now, next to a man who looks like he loves little boys. And no, I'm not looking at the mirror right now assholes!

Here is a visual of how confused my modem is right now...


UPDATE: I just found out it wasn't my modem alone with problems with connecting. AJC.com is reporting there was an outage throughout the Southeast...

AT&T Inc. customers in the Southeast United States were unable to connect to the Internet through their DSL service for several hours Monday night because of an equipment problem, a company spokesman said.

I wonder if they will refund me some money back for emotional distress? Emotional distress is guy code for less alone time with internet porn.

HERBSTREIT JUST SAID THE BCS WORKED OUT
I got nothing but apparently Herbie pockets are filled with blood money from the BCS committee. Next thing you know we are going to have some douche from ESPN tell us that Blacks don't deserve to vote because they aren't smart enough. Makes sense right ESPN?

INITIAL THOUGHTS
The BCS is still the most fucked up ridiculous system made up in all of sports. The match ups make no sense and again the polls were a complete joke.

Before today Ohio State and Georgia were #3 and #4 in the BCS rankings. Today Ohio State is #1 and Georgia somehow dropped to #5 even though both teams didn't play yesterday. Ohio State rose in the rankings because of Missouri and West Virginia both choking yesterday but Georgia drops because they played a tougher schedule and in a tougher conference than any other team besides LSU. Makes sense right?

Of course not. Again the voters listened to the ESPN "experts" and decided to jump LSU, a team who a week ago lost for the second time in 5 weeks to an unranked Arkansas team in Baton Rouge, from #7 to #2 after an impressive win over Tennessee in which Erik Ainge gift wrapped, shoved his ass down the chimney, and delivered a win personally for LSU.

But the BCS Championship game is besides the point. What the hell is up with these match ups? Why can't we ever have the best teams play against each other according to rankings? How in the bloody hell did Kansas and Illinois make a BCS game over Missouri? Because the last time I checked Missouri beat them both and was just ranked #1 in the country up until a few hours ago.

Are you shitting me with USC playing Illinois in the Rose Bowl? Illinois does not deserve to be in a BCS game point blank. The Big Ten was shit all year and the fact that two teams from the conference made it just emphasizes how corrupt the whole system is. But at least we can watch Ohio State and Illinois get killed playing in stadiums which are essentially home games for LSU and USC. That seems fair, I can't wait to get my beer and popcorn ready for those games after waiting 5 fucking weeks of NBA highlights on ESPN.

I have no problem with Hawaii in one of the BCS games but I think they should have been playing in the Rose or the Fiesta Bowl. Don't dick over their fans by putting them in SEC country against a SEC opponent and make them fly 4211 miles to get there. We need to stop with this pompous Big Ten vs. Pac-10 bullshit in the Rose Bowl. I'm sick of it. Nobody gives a shit about it anymore. We want to see the two best teams play against each other in all of these games but instead we get to watch Illinois get destroyed by USC.

Virginia Tech moving up to #3 in the BCS rankings is garbage too. I'm sorry but there is no way in hell the Hokies are the third best team in the country. Georgia, USC,and Oklahoma would destroy Virginia Tech on a neutral field.

I guess the reason why I'm so sick and tired of all this BCS BS is because I love college football so much. I hate having to argue over who deserves what and why this team should play for it and not.

GIVE US A PLAYOFF!!

We live in the greatest country in the world (Sorry Canadians, it's a fact) and yet we can't get a fucking playoff system going in D1 football when every other sport has a playoff system. Ever since we strapped on our shoulder pads in Pop Warner football we had playoffs to decide who is the champion of the league. But the presidents and jack off bowl officials and major corporate sponsors have their money in so many deep pockets that we can devise a playoff system. Fuck them. Fuck them.

I want my playoff. I want it waiting in my bed, panties wet, legs spread and ready for me and my millions of other friends to watch it and love it.

Don't jerk me off with this bullshit BCS anymore.

FUCK THE BCS.