STEELERS KNOCK OUT RAVENS

NFL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME PREDICTIONS

EAGLES OVER CARDINALS-I have a rooting interest in this game and it lies on Donovan McNabb's right arm. McNabb has had to put up with so much shit from Philly fans and the media ever since he got drafted and he has handled it all with class and dignity. I want Donovan to get his Super Bowl ring and I believe guys like Brian Dawkins and Brian Westbrook will play huge roles in a tough win over the Cardinals. Philadelphia 24 Arizona 21

STEELERS OVER RAVENS-This hard hitting AFC North rivalry game will be the third edition this season. The Steelers won the first two thanks to an incredible defense that made Joe Flacco look like the rookie he is. The Ravens are coming off a hard fought win in Tennessee and haven't had an off week since the second week of the season. They are beat up and battered and the Steelers come in fresh and rolling after destroying the Chargers last week. I want the Ravens to win but I think the Steelers have the better team and if they don't turnover the ball they should be able to handle the Ravens especially if they stop their run game.
Pittsburgh 20 Baltimore 7

KOBE BRYANT HAS HUGE TESTICLES

The Lakers still lost just like that girl in Colorado.

THIS COMMERCIAL IS NOT APPROVED FOR THE SUPER BOWL

If you listen to the Howard Stern Show you should know all about AshleyMadison.com. It's a website designed to help adulterers meet other adulterers. Good family fun right? Well, not according to the NFL who not only rejected the commercial for the Super Bowl in two weeks but also said it could never air one during any of their NFL broadcasts.

It's great to know the NFL has their moral compass pointed in the right direction. That is until Michael Vick starts taking snaps in Oakland.

HERO OF THE YEAR

His name is Chesley Sullenberger and he was the pilot of US Airlines Flight 1549 who safely landed his plane into the Hudson River in New York after some crazy suicidal birds flew into the engines. The former US Air Force fighter pilot from California with over 40 years of flight experience goes by the name of "Sully" but in my book this guy should be named Hero and given a statue as big as the Statue of Liberty after saving all those people on board.

Sully, if you read this please note that I am flying out to Las Vegas next weekend and I would be honored to have you captain the flight. Actually I would be honored and thankful if you would captain every single flight for the rest of your life or mine.

Anyway, kudos to Sully and I'm serious about honoring this guy in New York. If you are going to honor douchebags cheaters like Danny Almonte and Jeffrey Maier you sure as hell better give this hero some recognition.



I will do a toast to you tonight Sully. This Newcastle is to you.

PETE CARROLL IS A WHINY BITCH

Obviously Pete Carroll is pissed at QB Mark Sanchez for leaving to pursue his dream of playing in the NFL because he knows with Sanchez next season they have a great shot at going undefeated. But why the crybaby routine Petey? Sanchez fulfilled his commitment to USC and himself by staying for four years and completing his degree. Yes, he could have come back for a 5th season and taken dancing classes like Matt Leinart did but we all saw what the spotlight did to Leinart during that final season. Leinart was projected to be the #1 pick in the draft going to San Francisco but instead decided to Fight On or as Reggie Bush would say Cheat On for one more season. He fell to the #10 pick and lost millions in the process.

Pete Carroll needs to show some class and congratulate Mark Sanchez for all that he has done for the program. Don't be a selfish prick and state that you didn't agree with his decision. Instead thank him for putting up with all the dead hookers you made him shove back under your desk during his freshman orientation. Sanchez made the right decision in my opinion and it's not because I'm a Notre Dame fan. Look at the quarterbacks coming out this year. Besides Matthew Stafford (If you want to see class look at the way Mark Richt handled Stafford and Knowshon leaving last week) there really isn't a quarterback coming out in this draft with top 10 potential. Sanchez does not have a lot of starts in his back pocket and so Stafford does have the upper hand in that department but NFL scouts tend to forget those things as soon as the combine starts. Sanchez could wow a lot of the NFL personnel especially a team as dumb as the Detroit Lions into taking him #1 overall. Next year he would have been competing with Sam Bradford, Colt McCoy, Tim Tebow, Zac Robinson and some other juniors such as a Jimmy Clausen for the #1 QB spot. Sure he could have beat them all out and been the #1 pick but he could also suffer a terrible injury and/or been overly scrutinized like Leinart and Brady Quinn were and drop in the draft.

The key to the draft is going in while you are hot. Sanchez had his best game of his career in destroying Penn State for four TDs in the Rose Bowl. Could you imagine if Mack Brown would have thrown a hissy fit over Vince Young deciding to leave instead of not coming back for his 5th season? The media, fans, and incoming recruits would have torn him up. But somehow Carroll will get a pass for this shit just like the whole Reggie Bush fiasco. The NCAA and the media will continue to lick and massage the filthy Trojans and Pete Carroll until their mouths are tainted cardinal and gold.

I won't be that person. Congratulations Mark Sanchez. You made the right decision for yourself.

MY JOB INTERVIEW

These are tough times we are living in right now with the economy going to shit, people's houses being foreclosed on and the porn industry suffering it's biggest downfall since bestiality started hitting the shelves back in the early 80's. So I figured I would tune up my resume and present it to those poor saps who work in cubicles that spend more time on Facebook than they do on a spread sheet while counting down the seconds till 5 pm.

As you can see my work experience and people skills are not exactly stellar for future employment of any kind besides mop boy at the local Sneak a Peek booth shop...


Okay, I know what you are thinking and yes, that is not me. But it points out my lazy habits to future employers. Instead of making my own video I merely rip one off of FunnyorDie and claim it as my own. In essence the video encapsulates everything about myself without having to actually put much effort into it. One of these days I might get a "desk" job and be as miserable as all of my other friends and family who had one or currently die in one today. But right now I want to keep this Sportscrack vehicle going till it explodes or till the Feds shut me down. So if you feel like reading my worthless babble please visit the Store Page and buy a t-shirt or a helmet or a banner or even an autographed baseball or football because not only will it make you feel better about yourself but you are also getting excellent deals at way below market value for all of those items. Most if not all of the items on our store page are 25% or more below what other stores sell them for at retail value.

I also wanted to add if you are looking for an individual item that we don't sell on our store page let me know and I can see what I can do to put that particular item on our store page. An example of a request we got in the past was a Joe Namath autographed Alabama mini helmet from a good customer of ours. I looked on-line for the item and saw that most places such as Steiner Sports sold it for as much as $500. In other words they are just ripping off people. I got them for half that price at $250.
The lady bought two of them. One for herself and one to sell on Ebay. Hey, you got to do what you got to do and I hold no qualms about it. So if you have any requests let me know. Email me at matt@sportscrack.com. I promise I will get back to you within the next year.

WARM UP WITH THE REEF GIRLS

If you don't live in California or Florida right now you are experiencing the chill of the winter. To be honest it's cold as fuck in 85% of this country and we need something to warm us up especially with the doldrums of football ending soon. The Reef Girls feel our pain and do their best to warm us up in all the right spots.

CONAN HATES THE FOX NFL ROBOT

ATLANTA BRAVES ADD LOWE AND KAWAKAMI

-It looks like Frank Wren took my rant to heart last week. Facing the fallout over the failures to land either Peavy or Burnett and then letting Smoltzie leave to Boston it became apparent that the Atlanta Braves long offseason had become a nightmare. But in the last couple of days they have reached agreements with free agent Derek Lowe and Kenshin Kawakami. Lowe is a #1 starter and in my opinion is a great signing. Sure the Braves overpaid for him and would have been better off signing him to a 3 year contract instead of the 4 years at $60 million they wound up giving him but Lowe was a must get for the Braves pitching staff. He is good for 200 plus innings and the guy gets ground balls with his incredible sinker. Lowe's sinker is one of the hardest pitches to hit and also one of the hardest to lay off. It literally drops off the table about 6 inches from the plate making a hitter look like he was auditioning for a Cirque Du Soleil play. Plus the guy has a sweaty mullet which should be a hit in Atlanta.

Kawakami is another Japanese pitcher who I honestly haven't seen much of besides the Youtube stuff. He is the first Japanese born player to ever play for the Braves and scouts claim he can be a good 3 or 4 starter for the Braves. Of course the Braves overpaid for him too giving him a 3 year deal worth $24 million but it was essential to land a former MVP of his league as his stuff is not overpowering but his cutter and curve are graded out above average. Here is some Youtube video of him and his delivery brings back memories of David Cone...


So with the additions of starters Lowe, Kawakami and yes, even Vasquez stat nerd the Braves and Frank Wren in particular have answered the call when it comes to adding quality arms to a struggling pitching staff. Right now this is what I would predict Bobby Cox's 2009 rotation will look like:
1. Derek Lowe-Big postseason pitcher and a proven winner.
2. Javier Vasquez-Innings eater who should benefit from switch to NL.
3. Jair Jurrjens-Had a great rookie season and should continue to progress.
4. Kenshin Kawakami-Will win a ton of games as the 4th starter.
5. Tommy Hanson-I think the kid has a great spring and forces the Braves to put him into the rotation.

I still don't think the Braves can win the division with what they got but if they can add an outfield bat (Bobby Abreu or Jermaine Dye would be great additions to what looks like on paper as being the Major's worst outfield right now) they could be a good sleeper pick to at least contend for the Wild Card. It's going to depend on the pitching staff staying healthy and hitters like Francoeur and Kotchman maturing and matching up to their potential.

JIMMY ROLLINS DOES A MEAN RICKEY HENDERSON IMPERSONATION

Rickey Henderson was officially elected to the Hall of Fame yesterday after receiving 96% of the votes in his first year of eligibility. There is no doubt that Rickey is the greatest leadoff hitter of all time and whatever voters out there who didn't vote for him should not be allowed to cast one in the future. In fact I would recommend castration because you don't deserve to fuck anything the rest of your lives if you want to fuck Rickey like that. And we all know that Rickey didn't mess around when it came to the game on the diamond. The guy talked the talk and literally walked the walk for his entire career. Henderson was one of my favorite players growing up because he stole a ton of bases. I considered myself a pretty excellent thief king myself when it came to bases during my Little League days at Wills Park and I would mimic Rickey's crouch and the way he held his batting gloves in his hands while taking huge leadoffs to get that extra base. Between Griffey's stance, Mussina's delivery, and Rickey's leadoff and steals I would say I tried to copy all of them. With that being said I don't even come close to Jimmy Rollins. He does a dead on impersonation.

By the way if you like baseball you need to check out the MLB Network. It's all baseball 24/7 and the productions so far seems to be good. And as of this moment they don't completely focus on just those two Northeast teams like ESPN does.

RAY LEWIS TRIES TO KILL ANOTHER MAN

Ray Lewis and the Baltimore Ravens will face the Pittsburgh Steelers next week in the AFC Championship after Lewis helped lead the Ravens to a tough, defensive win over the Titans yesterday. On this play it looked like Lewis was ready to pull out the knife and take out the Titan tight end but instead decided to go for his head. The man is still alive. Those guys in Atlanta...not so much.

PERCY HARVIN SMACKING THAT URBAN MEYER ASS

Smack that Harvin!

OKLAHOMA SOONERS LOSE NC GAME AGAIN, BAND MEMBER CRIES

I literally started crying when Fox put the camera on this robust Boomer Sooner band member while the Gators celebrated. The pain, anguish and grief in those eyes was so priceless I just couldn't help myself and I uncontrollably burst out in laughter so hard that tears were inevitable. Congratulations go to the Florida Gators for capturing their second National Championship in 3 years.

The Mormons in Utah are crying too. Undefeated and yet no chance to even play for a National Championship. Here is to the loyal Utes out there. You guys deserve better and in my book you are Champions.

BCS TITLE GAME PREDICTION: BLOWOUT

The Florida Gaytors are bigger, stronger, and a hell of a lot faster than the Boomer Sooners and play great in BCS bowl games. The Sooners have the Heisman curse on their shoulders as Sam Bradford will be getting hit plenty of times tonight. It remains obvious to most readers of this blog that I don't like the Gaytors. Living in Georgia you have to go with the home state team but I have some buddies who claim they are die hard Georgia fans. In fact some of them actually attended the school. So why in the hell are they rooting for the Gaytors tonight?

I never got the notion of rooting for a team in your conference to win because you think it will make your conference look better. Georgia fans should hate anything wearing jorts with striped royal and orange running down the sides and should never root for an arch rival to win. It just doesn't make any sense. If Florida wins it only helps them and not the SEC conference as a whole. Florida gets more exposure and gains more recruits from winning this game then Georgia ever will.

It would be like me rooting for USC or the Yankees to win just because it will make my favorite teams look better. Fuck that. You never root for the enemy. And any Georgia fan who reads this blog and disagrees with me should just leave now because I hate you already. Traitor.

Anyways, the Gaytors have a shitload of speed. In fact they got more speed than a young Artie Lange. They will be running through, over, and pass the poor Sooners all night. Hell, Florida is playing tonight in their home state in front of a ton of blue chip daddy recruits in the Miami area. They will be impressive and nobody will stop Tim Tebow.

Prediction: Florida 49 Oklahoma 27

Tomorrow the arguments will start about USC, Utah, and Texas deserving more of a shot at Florida instead of Oklahoma.

Also feel free to buy a GAYTORS OR OKLAHOMO shirt if you dislike either team. Actually, stop being lazy and just visit our STORE and buy a shitload of stuff to help boost the economy called my pocket change.

HEADLINE OF THE DAY: PORN INDUSTRY SEEKS $5 BILLION FEDERAL BAILOUT

Click here for the story. If they can bailout the auto industry why not porn? The average male probably watches more porn than he uses his car.

MATTIUS OHLUND WOULD LIKE HIS CHIN BACK

Can you say Don Flamenco?



Sheldon Souray made Ohlund look like his Mini Me dog. Watching this pathetic excuse of a NHL fight brought back memories of Mike Tyson's punchout with cheat codes...


NHL Fight Video HT: FanIQ

BACKUP COLLEGE JAGS OFF THEIR HEAD COACH

BC, Boston College, Backup College or whatever the hell you want to call them fired head football coach Jeff Jagodzinski for interviewing with the New York Jets. Athletic Director Gene DeFilippo called it the hardest day of his 12 year tenure but I beg to differ. The hardest day will be the cold hard reality that Boston College is not anybody's dream job nor will it ever be. DeFilippo needs to realize this and firing Jags for interviewing for NFL head coaching jobs is not necessary.

Jagoneoffski led BC to back-to-back ACC Title game losses in his only two seasons in Chestnut Hill after replacing Tom O'brien. His two year record of 20-8 is 8 games better than Charlie Weis at Notre Dame during the same period whom he beat twice and yet Weis still has a job. I can only imagine this will hurt BC in the long run trying to find replacement coaches when knowing that the BC job is nothing but a stepping stone for a better and more lucrative coaching job elsewhere. Talk to O'brien and Tom Coughlin when you get the chance DeFilippo.

MLB HOT STOVE ACTION

-Caught in the mess of the whole John Smoltz leaving Atlanta to go play for the Sux I forgot to mention that my other favorite team, the Baltimore Orioles, have agreed to a contract with Japanese pitcher Koji Uehara. Koji will be the #2 starter for the Orioles behind Jeremy Guthrie because the Orioles lack in proven starters but I think this is an excellent signing. The 33 year old has dominated MLB All-Stars in the past and throws strikes and rarely walks people. If you watched the Orioles pitching last year the one thing they couldn't do was throw strikes. I'm hearing the contract is guaranteed $10 million with incentives that could bring it up to $16 million. This is an excellent value for a guy like Uehara whom most major league hitters haven't seen and should be pretty successful his first season in Baltimore. He has a nasty forkball that dips in to right hand hitters and away from left handed hitters and his career strike out to walk ratio is an outstanding 7 to 1. He is the first Japanese player signed by the Orioles (last team in the AL East to do it) and it should help open up the doors for the O's in the Asian market. Of course I could come up with some Japanese jokes right now but since we have a Jap pitching for us now I don't think it would be appropriate for me to say I hope he screams Bonsai as soon as he unleashes a fastball into Mark Teixeira's neck. Here is some video of Uehara making fools of MLB stars like Barry Bonds and Jason Giambi...


-In other depressing news for a veteran ballplayer who will look weird in a different uniform comes the Trevor Hoffman signing in Milwaukee. Hells Bells will now go from sunny and beautiful San Diego to the harsh climate and bitter cold of Milwaukee. This is an excellent signing for the Brewers because Hoffman converted 30 of 34 saves last year for the Padres and despite losing Sabathia and Sheets they still have a chance to compete for the Wild Card. Still, it won't seem right to see Hoffman in any other uniform but the Padres. Besides Tony Gwynn I consider Hoffman the greatest Padre and he is a sure thing for the Hall of Fame.

-The Red Sox signed Rocco Baldelli. The guy has all the talent in the world but he can't stay healthy. He won't be asked to play everyday in Boston and is looked at as more of a luxury bench player in the way the Smoltz signing come about. Baldelli has played less than a 160 games combined the last 3 seasons but he grew up a Red Sox fan and took little money from what I hear for a one year contract with the chance to prove himself. At only 27 years old he could still develop into a steal for the Red Sox.

-The Atlanta Braves have turned their attention to free agent pitcher Derek Lowe. I could get excited about this but then I remembered the Braves have pretty much swung and missed all offseason trying to acquire more talent and Lowe and his agent are probably just using the Braves to get more money out of the Mets or some other team where he will eventually sign. How did the Braves become the laughingstock of baseball so fast? Oh yeah, Frank Fucking Wren. He managed to fuck the Orioles and now he figured why not throw another dagger into my emotions and go to the Braves and totally screw them for a few years.

HOUSTON'S VON WAFER VON SUCKS

It's one thing to get rejected by Dwight Howard or Josh Smith but it is a whole other thing to get rejected by the rim like Houston Rocket's Von Wafer did yesterday. Hey, I'm not going to lie and say I wouldn't screw up the dunk because right now I would get rejected easily by an 8 foot rim but this cat is in the NBA. Shouldn't he know his limits? Maybe he should just go to church leagues like I do and claim I'm just really big and bald for an 11 year old. I had a growth spurt at 10 sister. God made me this way father. Why won't you accept me for who I am?

Video HT: FanIQ