THIS SUPER BOWL COMMERCIAL CAUGHT MY ATTENTION

Another shitty year of Super Bowl commercials was a disappointment but this one for TruTv made me laugh out loud only for the reason because little people are funny....

TRACY PORTER SEALS THE DEAL FOR N'AWLINS

Congratulations go out to the New Orleans Saints and their fans (the real ones from the Bayou, not the bandwagon ones) on their first Super Bowl victory last night over the Indianapolis Colts. The Saints dominated the game after the first quarter and deserved to win thanks to an almost perfect performance from Drew Brees who won the Super Bowl MVP (33 for 39 with a spike and a dropped pass) and had a great moment with his newborn son. Cornerback Tracy Porter sealed the victory last night with this electric pick 6 when he jumped the route and made Manning look like a choke artist again. The game for the most part lived up to the hype and minus the INT Manning and Brees had a classic duel that should go down in history.

Now that football season is over can we petition to have this game on Saturday night now? I know the tradition is to have it on Sundays but I think for most people who work it's awfully tough to get up on the following Monday after partying with your friends and family all night. Saturday night would be perfect. The parties would be crazy and I bet the ratings would be about the same if not better. Just a thought as I try to shake out this Super Bowl hangover.

DICKROD KEEPING IT REAL WITH DEMAR DORSEY RECRUITMENT

Demar Dorsey is not only the #2 rated prep safety in the nation going to Michigan but he has an outstanding past with an arrest for robbery with a deadly weapon as a 16 year old and burglary of a building as a 17 year old. But who gives a shit the boy can play some ball and will now be up in Ann Arbor wrecking havoc in the dorms. Lock up your Macbooks coeds. Here is what Michigan head football coach had to say in regards to the controversial new recruit's past history...

Theres nobody on this football team that weve signed that has a felony conviction ... Theres nobody on this football team we signed that has a misdemeanor conviction.

Ah, makes perfect sense now. No wonder Demar can run a 4.25 40 and have a vertical jump of almost 40 inches. Mofo has literally been running from the popo the past 3 years trying to earn a scholarship to get his edumakation up in Ann Arbor. Dorsey is so fast he has managed to escape a felony conviction. It's fantastic to see DickRod take in such an outstanding young gentlemen into his program and show him the right way to do things. Hell, it worked for him with PacMan and Chris Henry in West Virginia. Those kids went in as saints and left as popes with degrees in hand.

God bless DickRod and his kind heart.

I WANT TO STRANGLE YOU

You see the schmuck with the suit and tie standing behind the Atlanta Thrashers' bench? Yes, the same guy looking up at the jumbo tron with the same blank less expression as your grandfather who suffers from Alzheimer's. His name is Don Waddell. He is the general manager of the Thrashers. In fact he has been their GM ever since they fluttered to existence 11 years ago. The man with the "5 year plan" has as many playoff wins as you the reader. 0.0 in fact. He has let All-Star players go (Dany Heatley, Marc Savard, Marian Hossa) in the past because he either didn't want to pay them fair market value or because he is a fucking idiot who doesn't know how to run a professional hockey organization. I would say both.

And now he is going to trade away the face of the franchise. The one player who actually wants to win and stay in Atlanta but who also deserves to be paid fair market value for the superstar he is. I'm talking about Ilya Kovalchuk. Kovy as he is affectionately known to Thrashers' fans is about to leave the one franchise who couldn't put a cast around him to support his talents. Kovy is the greatest player to lace up the skates for the Thrashers and will probably be the last in Atlanta. The Atlanta Spirit Group (sounds like a Gay Pride Parade, not that there is anything wrong with that) is their collective group of donkey ass owners who would rather be cheap and sell a shitty product rather than invest and make a better product for fans to come watch. It makes sense to be constantly cheap when you are investing in a better future. The Thrashers are not. Waddell released this candid and rather frank statement about why he will now be trading Kovalchuk:

"Our goal from the start of this negotiating process was to sign Ilya Kovalchuk to a long-term contract," Waddell said in a statement. "During the process, Kovy affirmed his desire to be a Thrasher for life. We've spent several months exploring scenarios with Kovy and his agent to reach a mutually beneficial agreement and offered many lucrative packages in an attempt to meet his financial objectives. Unfortunately, we've reached an impasse and at this point he has declined all of our proposals and we can't reasonably go any higher.

"Ultimately, we offered Kovy more than $101 million over 12 years, which would have been the highest contract signed by an impending unrestricted free agent in the history of the league," Waddell said in the statement. "If accepted, this contract would have been the second-highest offer ever to any NHL player. We also met his desire to be the highest-paid player based on average annual salary with a separate offer of seven years at $10 million per year ($70 M). This offer is $0.5 million higher per year than any other player.

"If we went beyond these offers, we would not be able to retain the young players on our roster when it came time to sign them or invest in other top-tier players needed to assemble a truly competitive team. Therefore, we are aggressively exploring all of our options as we move forward," Waddell's statement said.

Notice the "if we went beyond these offers we would not be able to retain the young players on our roster" is one of the most laughable statements I have ever read. Waddell and the ASG have never ponied up the money to retain any of their young players and are doing the same with Kovy so why would that change now or in the future? If Waddell is so interested in investing in top-tier players like he says he is then he should have signed Kovy a long time ago. Last season would have been nice instead of waiting till the last moment to negotiate an extension.

If you read this blog you know that I usually side on the ownership's side rather than the players because if you have ever run a business you know how important your bottom line is. But the Thrashers are so poorly run and have been for 11 plus seasons that they are now getting rid of their best product and will conceivably settle for worse players in return for a guy who is the only reason you sell tickets in the first place. The die hard hockey fans will still show up but the casual fans who are looking to be entertained want to come into the building and watch Kovy. He is worth the price of admission. Without him the Thrashers are not worth anything now or in the future because players are not going to want to come to an organization that trades or lets their best players walk away when it comes to getting paid what they deserve. It's like the Thrashers are being run by the actual company GM and are expecting some miracle government grant to come in and save their sorry asses when they have nobody to blame but themselves.

The Thrashers should have given Kovy what he wanted. He is only 26 years old and is only getting better with age. He deserves the money because he sells tickets and is an exceptional talent that can not be replaced unless you are getting back an Ovechkin or a Crosby in exchange. That of course won't happen. The Oilers didn't get better when Gretzky left. The Bulls didn't get better when Jordan left. For this is one of many reasons why Waddell is making a huge mistake. And for this I want to strangle his fat fucking turkey head.

Good bye Kovy. You will be missed and you deserve better. Thanks for the memories from this die hard Thrashers fan.

YOUR DREARY THURSDAY AFTERNOON FLASH

I know most of you are stuck in the office today on this dreadful February Thursday (it's raining again here in Atlanta, I swear we are turning into Seattle) so I figured this video could brighten up your day. It's NSFW so be sure to send it to your boss or your sexy co-worker who keeps ignoring your advances. Trust me they love this shit.

#1 PROSPECT SEANTREL HENDERSON PICKS USC

Continuing the tradition and stealing another recruit at the last moment seems to be Lane Kiffin's m.o. I wish Seantrel nothing but sanctions and losses in South Central.

/bitter ND fan.

TIM TEBOW'S SUPER BOWL COMMERCIAL

Via WithLeather comes the Tim Tebow pro-life commercial which will certainly make women think things over before picking up that wire hanger and vacuum. Imagine a world without Tim Tebow. I know. It's too scary to even imagine.

CLOTHING DRIVE

If all these bull shit publicity whore celebrities really want me to donate some of my hard earned dough to the country of Haiti well then they can start offering up incentives like this...free Bud Light...

REX RYAN STILL TALKING THE SMACK

Awfully brave of Jet's coach Rex Ryan to talk some shit to the Miami crowd at an ultimate fighting competition. Talk about having some cajones. Half the crowd is either convicted felons or gang members. And no I'm not stereotyping ultimate fighting fans. I'm laying this on the whole city of Miami.

SHAUN WHITE TAKES ONE TO THE TOMATO CAN

I got to give the kid some credit. He took a vicious hit to the head which rocketed his helmet off about 50 feet in the air and yet he got up and shook it off. Bravo Shaun White. Bravo. If that were Ladainian Tomlinson on the half pipe he would have sat out the finals due to fatigue.

Oh yeah, the asshole in me came out when his helmet flew off. I couldn't help but laugh out loud. Something about seeing a red headed longhair take one in the noggin is funny.

I FOUND MY MIDDLE SCHOOL GIRLFRIEND ON FACEBOOK

If this video from the Wonder Cousins doesn't win a MTV Music Award then it will be a bigger sham than the Mormon religion. How can we get this video on MTV? Actually I don't even think they play music videos on that network. Instead it is should be called Jersey Shore 24/7.

LEBRON JAMES REJECTS THE NOTION OF KOBE AS THE BEST PLAYER

Give Lebron a supporting cast that Kobe has had his whole career and we would be talking about 3 rings easily on his fingers at this point. King James is hands down the best player in the NBA. Kobe is a great player too but Lebron has an all-around game that makes the players around him better. If Lebron had MJ's Scottie Pippen or Kobe's Shaq during their primes he would be considered right up there with Jordan as the best player to ever play the game. And as far as I know he doesn't rape women in Colorado...I think...

MONEYBALL MY ASS: A'S SIGN SHEETS

Oakland A's GM Billy Beane is known for his Moneyball philosophy which in general terms is finding bargain price players who have good OPS and WHIP stats. Not pitchers who are coming off elbow surgery. The A's signed former Brewer's ace Ben Sheets today to a one year contract for $10 million plus incentives when it appeared no other team was willing to go above 5-6 million for him in base. Granted I know the A's wanted a veteran starter to help bridge the gap to their young guys Brett Anderson, Dallas Braden, Gio Gonzalez and Trevor Cahill but it seems like they way overpaid for a starter who has had durability concerns all of his career. So what the fuck is Beane thinking on this one? Unless Sheets catches magic in a bottle there is no way he is going to pitch worthy of $10 million even if it's just a one year gamble. Seems like Beane is getting desperate out there in Oakland with the Mariners greatly improved and the Angels and Rangers both legitimate playoff contenders in 2010.

TERRANCE CODY PASSES THE EYE TEST

If you are an NFL GM how can you pass on Mount Cody? He looks like a D.C. hooker. For this reason alone it wouldn't surprise me to see Dan Snyder grab the big guy early in the 2nd round. Those boobs are mesmerizing and that belly button is deep enough to hold the holy grail.

HT: SI

BOBBY BOTTLESERVICE HAS SOME T-SHIRT IDEAS FOR US

I finally managed to watch "Jersey Shore" the other day so I could see what all the hype was about. It's fake right? Those can't be real people. Snookie and The Situation are clearly struggling comedians trying to make a name for themselves by acting like jackasses. I guess I get the fascination with the show because it's a train wreck waiting to happen but I don't really give a shit about the people on the show. It's not like one of them is Pedro and has AIDS. Next season if they can manage to get Nick Kroll (Bobby Bottleservice) as one of the cast members then I will give it another shot.

HEIDI MONTAG HOPES YOU ARE ENJOYING WORK

While you are sitting in your cubicle thinking of a way to poison your boss's coffee without anybody catching on you can enjoy these "candid" shots of reality star Heidi Montag doing some yoga with her new DDD breasts. I kinda feel bad for her because now every guy is just going to stare at her enormous jugs instead of her plastic face. I feel ya pain Heidi. Now you know how I feel when I go cycling on my training wheels with my bicycle shorts on. WWTDD has more pictures in case you were wondering...

REY MAUALUGA DIGS THE LITTLE PEOPLE

BARSTOOLSPORTS has this candid shot of former Condom linebacker Rey Maualuga groping some midget's boobs on a new recruiting tactic implemented by coaches Lane Kiffin and Ed Orgeron. The NCAA is looking into it. Not sure if grabbing little people funbags is a major or minor recruiting violation. I would say minor since they are smaller right?

HOLY MASOLI A THIEF?

GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR MACBOOKS AND GUITARS BEFORE I QUACK UP THE WHOLE PLACE!!!!

Rumors are swirling that Oregon Ducks starting QB Jeremiah Masoli is one of two football players accused of theft this weekend at a fraternity party in Eugene. Masoli and backup WR Garrett Embry are accused of stealing two Macbook Pro computers, a guitar, and a projector from Sigma Alpha Whogivesafuk as revenge for Embry being kicked out of a party earlier. Here is the juicy cover up part via the OUSportsDude:

UPDATE (10:00 PM): “KMTR is reporting that Masoli was named in the Eugene theft report, but police say he’s not a suspect.”

I don’t want Masoli to be guilty, but my source at the frat said they “are very big duck fans” and want to protect the program. Therefore I can’t fully believe the report that Masoli is not a suspect in the case. Just speculation, but they are going to try and save Masoli from any legal ramifications.

I know I’m sounding like a hater, but the fraternity has very good reasons to say Masoli is innocent and blame it wholly on Embry. Embry is the perfect scape goat: reputation as a trouble maker, connections with SAE and most importantly, NOT THE BEST PLAYER ON THE TEAM.

Damn, you know what this means right? Yep, Masoli is only going to get 11 pairs of free Nikes this offseason and 2 PS3 Consoles but with only one controller as punishment and will be required to attend at least 3 of his classes. This is what happens when you quack with the law Masoli in Eugene. They about to get strict on the starting quarterback for a potential top 10 team next year. (/shakes head in doubt)

Big ASS HT to TheBigLead for bringing this to our attention.

URBAN MEYER ISN'T GOING ANYWHERE

Sorry to have to kick you in the nuts SEC and Semenholes fans but The Pope Urban Meyer is coming back in case you didn't already know...

Florida football coach Urban Meyer met with the media at halftime of the Florida-South Carolina basketball game Saturday and said he plans to be coaching the Gators on the first day of spring practice.

“I’m going to have a series of tests in February to try to figure this thing out,” Meyer said. “I have to take some time off. I’ve been instructed to by my bride and my boss. I have to change some things. That’s obvious.”

Asked if the tests would be for his heart or for stress, Meyer said, “yes and yes.”

Meyer said he has cut way back on his travel during recruiting.

“They don’t want me traveling,” he said. “I did most of my traveling before the bowl game. I keep hearing about this time off. I tried it for a day and a half. That didn’t work out.”

Seriously why wouldn't Urban come back? They have the #1 class in the nation right now just waiting to get into Gainesville and start building another legacy now that Tim Tebow is gone. They have 3 guys who are 5 star defensive lineman in the class alone. Why the hell would Urban just leave? Because of his health and family? Get the fuck out of here. The guy is an admitted perfectionist who is still steaming from losing the SEC Championship to Alabama. He will take a little time off once he gets his recruiting class signed but you know he will be back in Gainesville giving Eskimo kisses as soon as spring rolls around.

I feel bad for all my friends who are die hard Georgia fans. They know they can't beat Florida with Urban there. It's the exact opposite feeling of how Notre Dame fans felt when the news broke of Pete Carroll leaving. Rejoice. Thankful that the Poodle would no longer bark on the sidelines while consistently beating the shit out of Notre Dame over and over. Georgia fans thought Urban was gone but it was all just a sad illusion. It's demoralizing to think UGA will struggle to compete with their fiercest rival for the next five years because most of the alumni are putting out thousands of dollars just to get tickets to see a vastly inferior product to the one residing in Gainesville currently. It shouldn't have to be this way because Georgia has talent but Urban Meyer is clearly head and shoulders above anybody not named Nick Saban in the college coaching ranks right now.

Urban is going to be at Florida till he dies. Trust me on this. If not just ask his wife Shelley. She knows it.

PRICELESS AUDIO OF BRETT FAVRE'S INTERCEPTION

Talk about shitting away the game yesterday. The Vikings did everything possible to hand the game over to the New Orleans Saints including 3 crucial fumbles combined from Adrian Peterson and Percy Harvin but those paled in comparison to this final Brett Favre pass. Oh the gunslinger just had to throw across his body with less than a minute to go and the Vikings only needing a field goal to go to the first Super Bowl in decades.

The sound of disgust in the Viking's booth is immortal. Click here to listen. It's fitting that Favre's third retirement ends with an INT. You know he will be back now. He isn't going to leave like that. Damn. I was hoping we wouldn't have to talk about him anymore after this season.