The NBA is all about fundamentals

Picture perfect free throw mechanics and technique right there. If you wonder why the Bobcats (wait a second, there is a NBA team called the Bobcats?) are so god awful shitty then take a long look at the asshole above shooting a free throw. I'm too lazy and drunk to look up who the shooter is but like most things I really don't care.

Forget Tyler Pastornicky, The Braves Needs To Sign This Ball Boy

I've been hearing all offseason about how awesome Tyler Pastornicky is going to be from the local radio stations and it's gotten to the point where I just tune it out. There is a reason why nobody has heard of him outside of Atlanta. Because he's basically a nobody. But don't worry this April he will be the starting shortstop for the Atlanta Braves. Yeah that should work out well. Instead of Tyler Pastramiface Frank Wren should have been scouting this ball boy down under. Look at that Neo like grab. Kid has skills. Sign him up Wren. He can't be much worse than Heyward....lawsuit...coming...in...3,2.1.

Massive Cockfighting Operation Cause News Anchors to Lose It

I never realized there were over 2000 cocks in San Diego. What is so god damn funny? Those poor dirty cocks never had a chance. That one woman just chocked the cock like a professional. Impressive form I must add when you got an out of control flailing cock spitting at you.

Video via Hot Clicks

Notre Dame Football Players Rapping "Strip"

Notre Dame football players Josh Atkinson, George Atkinson III, and Amir Carlisle put together this remake of Chris Brown's "Strip." All that is missing is Rihanna with a couple of New York "strips" covering those black eyes and bruises.

Not too shabby especially from new comer Carlisle who will be wearing Michael Floyd's #3 jersey next season. But none of them compare to Louis "Irish Chocolate" Nix. Straight superstar right here taking a "Grenade"...

60% OFF ALL BASEBALL SHIRTS

With Baseball season right around the corner I figured I would do a 60% off sale on all of our current shirts in stock. I have limited quantities left so be sure to get your order in fast.

FRESH PRINCE OF MOTOWN

Yesterday the reports were free agent slugger Prince Fielder was down to a final four of Nationals, Orioles, Rangers and Dodgers for his services. Well you can throw those reports in the shitter because Detroit came in and swooped up Fielder today with an insane 9-year, $214 million dollar contract according to Yahoo Sports.

The Tigers were late-comers to Fielder’s free agency, but closed strong, outbidding the likes of the Washington Nationals and Texas Rangers. The sides were working on the final details of the contract Tuesday, and the deal is pending a physical.

Adding Prince to Detroit's lineup is clearly a huge gamble. Miguel Cabrera will have to move to either third base or DH to accommodate Prince at first. Miggy would look horrible at the hot corner in my opinion. The Detroit defense particularly in the infield isn't going to be solid. But then again with Prince in the lineup I'm sure they will score a lot more runs than they butcher infield grounders that cost the pitching staff runs.

With Fielder making over $20 million a season he will be the third Tiger joining Miggy and Justin Verlander. Obviously that is a ton of money to invest in 3 players with two of them having serious weight issues and one being a blown arm away from eating a lot of money.

I know giving Fielder a 9-year contract is absolutely insane but at the age of 27 I like it a lot better than what the Angels gave for Albert Pujols. Fielder has been extremely durable playing in over 99% of the Brewers' games during his 6 seasons in Milwaukee.

An interesting storyline will be the comparisons between Prince and his dad's time in Detroit. Cecil hit 50 homers in Detroit before the steroid era. Now with his huge contract Prince will be under pressure to produce and even blow away what Cecil did back in the early 90's. Good luck with that.

There is no doubt though that Detroit has a fresh new Prince ready to turn Motown into Titletown with his huge swing. Just be ready to shell out a little more dough Tigers fans when you hit up the concessions to support the big guy.

I thought my readers might enjoy this old photo from the SI Vault of a 9-year old Prince getting help from his dad in order to tie his shoes....

Terrell Suggs Calls Skip Bayless A Douchebag

Thank God somebody finally said it. Skip Bayless is a royal douchebag. Thank you Terrell Suggs.

Billy Cundiff is Ray Finkle

Ravens Fans Reactions To Billy Goat Cundiff

The fat guy in the Ed Reed jersey is the best one. It's not too often you can catch a reaction of that magnitude on camera. Just a complete breakdown. It's basically how an Orioles fan like myself reacts on Opening Day every year for the past 14.

Ronald Darby to FSU?

Notre Dame gained a 5 star recruit this week when Gunner Kiel enrolled but now it appears they may have lost a 5 star player to FSU. Ronald Darby, an electric cornerback with world class speed, appears to be headed to FSU after de committing from Notre Dame according to Ricardo Louis, a recent WR flip to FSU from Auburn.

"He was committed to Notre Dame and then he decomitted because he wanted to open up his options, which is what I what I want to do," Louis said. "We were talking about how much we like Florida State and he was telling me if I go there that he would go there too. Just talked about how much we liked it basically."

Losing a player with Darby's speed is a huge loss for ND and it comes at a big time position need at corner. With Yuri Wright kicked out of high school because of graphic tweets expect Notre Dame to back away from recruiting Wright while leaving only Tee Shepard as a true cornerback in this class. With starters Gary Gray and Robert Blanton both gone to graduation and the NFL Notre Dame has an immediate need for cornerbacks to contribute right away.

Brian Kelly and his staff will continue to recruit Darby until he signs his letter of intent and are also trying to flip Florida commit Brian Poole from Florida and convince Anthony Standifer from Illinois to wear the Blue and Gold next season.

Right now chalk a win for FSU in the recruiting battle by getting Darby. Now Kelly needs to counteract and make sure they get bodies in at a position that could be the difference between a couple of wins and losses in 2012.

RIP Sarah Burke

Only 29 years old the world lost a great freestyle skier today with the announcement that Sarah Burke had passed away today just 9 days after suffering a brain injury while training at Park City Mountain Resort. Burke suffered a torn vertebral artery in her neck from a fall within the superpipe. She will be greatly missed by family, friends, and fans worldwide. RIP Sarah Burke.

Kobe Bryant's ex-wife Vanessa gets $75 MILLION divorce settlement

Clearly it pays well to be a wife of a sports superstar these days. Vanessa Bryant, the now ex-wife of Lakers superstar Kobe, reportedly will get $75 million in a divorce settlement which also includes the couple's three mansions in Newport Beach, CA according to TMZ.

Vanessa is walking away with $75 million, which we're told represents close to half of their total assets, estimated at around $150 million.

TMZ previously reported several transfers of property earlier this year between Kobe and Vanessa. It turns out, based on the property settlement, Vanessa scored a clean sweep, snagging ALL THREE of the former couple's mansions in the Newport Beach area.

Vanessa gets the estate the couple was living in, the estate her mom is living in, and she gets the new estate that had been under construction for 2 years and was just completed. We were told Kobe was moving into the new estate, but that's not true. It's Vanessa's crib, lock stock and barrel.

Talk about hitting a fade away 3 in court Vanessa clearly racked up with all of Kobe's mansions. Now it's only a matter of time before Elin Nordegren comes over and swaps war stories.

Rob Lowe Confirms In Tweet That Peyton Manning Will Retire

Sorry Adam Schefter and Mort! you've been fucking scooped by an actor who became famous for a sex tape. Ladies and gents Mr. Rob Lowe is reporting (or tweeting) that Peyton Manning has retired.

#Colts fans, let's hope my info is wrong. Don't like being wrong, but this time... I'm hoping #NFL #Manning
2 hours ago

RobLowe Rob Lowe
@richeisen My people are saying Manning will retire today. What do you hear? #NFL
2 hours ago
»

RobLowe Rob Lowe
Hearing my fave, #18 Peyton Manning will not return to #NFL. Wow. #Colts

This comes as no surprise. I've been saying for months that Manning would never play again. The guy has had 3 neck surgeries. One awkward hit and he could become as worthless as Matt Ryan in the playoffs. Don't feel bad for ole Peyton. He got himself a ring and hundreds of millions in the bank. Now if brother Eli gets another ring I will feel kinda bad for Peyton. It would suck to know your little brother with much less talent won twice as many Super Bowls as yourself. Just ask Cooper.

Oh Shit Summer From OC Is Back...Straight Rapping Mofo's

Call Me Doctor with Rachel Bilson from Rachel Bilson

This is what I will never understand about our society. How does a talented, hot actress like Rachel Bilson struggle in Hollywood to get roles yet some idiot like Kim Kardashian is constantly on television? I mean I get why people are fascinated by Kim since she is a straight up whore, literally and figuratively, but you would think Bilson would be getting major roles in film these days. I mean shit... she fucking nailed the role of Summer in the OC and that's on par with Jordan hitting a fade away jumper over Craig Ehlo.

So with Tebowing Gone Is Gronking The New Fad?

Seriously all the cool kids are doing this now. If you aren't Gronking than you aren't shit!

Video via HotClicks

Is the Alabama LSU Krystal's Teabagging Incident a Jailable Offense?

A little late to the internet party here but Barstool Sports posted this video of some passed out LSU fan getting "teabagged" by an Alabama fan in the French Quarter's Krystal right after the BCS Championship and for some reason the people around him found it extremely funny. I don't get it. Personally I've never felt the need to pull my balls out and put it on some dude's face. But hey that's just me. How is the Alabama fan not in jail is my question? If this shit happened to a female you know damn well Bama coconuts would be behind bars right now. This whole video is just strange and uncomfortable. It's like watching a Woody Allen film. First off why do people eat at Krystals? You just won the National Championship and decide to go party at Krystal? I guess I just don't understand kids these days. Hookers and blow have been replaced by Teabagging strangers and Krystal burgers.

Seth Rogan Can't Hide His Appreciation For Kate Beckinsale

HT to Dave for the Golden Globes clip. Beckinsale is right up there with Salma Hayek, Christie Brinkley, Halle Berry and of course my wife. They all seem to get better looking with age. It's like enjoying a fine wine. I don't drink wine.

ESPN Ticker Plays Mean Game With Fired Coach Jim Caldwell

The Colts just fired head coach Jim Caldwell but according to ESPN he will return. You can always rely on ESPN with breaking OPPOSITE news.

Via Paulie Pabst

Notre Dame Announces Gunner Kiel As An Early Enrollee

On November 10th I posted about #1 prep QB Gunner Kiel enrolling at Notre Dame come January. At the time I completely trusted my "source" and ran with the story because he had never let me down before and had no reason to BS me. Well not until this morning did it appear it would actually come to fruition as Kiel was committed to LSU and ready to attend classes in Baton Rouge starting today. Throw in some "never say die" relentless recruiting from Brian Kelly and his staff and now it is official: Gunner is Irish.

Here is the official press release from Notre Dame...

NOTRE DAME, Ind. - The University of Notre Dame football team added four players to its roster Tuesday, head coach Brian Kelly announced.

The Irish added one transfer student and three early-enrollee freshmen to the football squad.

Running back Amir Carlisle (Santa Clara, Calif./Kings Academy/USC) transferred to Notre Dame after attending the first semester of his freshman year at the University of Southern California.

Defensive lineman Sheldon Day (Indianapolis, Ind./Warren Central), quarterback Gunner Kiel (Columbus, Ind./Columbus East) and defensive back Tee Shepard (Fresno, Calif./Washington Union) graduated from their respective high schools last December.

The four players signed their scholarship forms and were enrolled at the University Tuesday, the first day of the 2012 spring semester at Notre Dame.

Carlisle played in eight games for the Trojans in 2011. He totaled 19 rushes for 118 yards (6.2 yards per carry) and posted seven receptions for 41 yards with one touchdown. His best game for USC came at Colorado when Carlisle led the Trojans with 90 yards on 10 carries and caught two passes for 31 yards, including a 19-yard TD reception.

As a senior at Kings Academy, Carlisle was named a 2010 high school All-American by Parade and SuperPrep after gaining 2,110 rushing yards (averaged 10.0 yards per carry) and 28 TDs. He also caught 12 passes for 231 yards (19.3 average) with three TDs. In his high school career, Carlisle rushed for 5,108 yards (11.0 yards per carry) with 73 rushing TDs and posted 26 career 100-yard rushing games in 28 high school games.

"I'm really excited to be here at Notre Dame. I had great respect for the school and football program when I went through the recruiting process a year ago and I'm proud to be enrolled here. I know this will be a great fit for me and I can't wait to get started."

Day was a second-team selection on the SI.com High School All-America team. The Indianapolis Star Super Team Player of the Year for 2011 was also runner-up for 2011 Indiana Mr. Football award chosen by Indiana Football Coaches Association. Day made 55 tackles including 12 for loss, nine sacks, 12 quarterback pressures and recovered two fumbles as a senior. He helped Warren Central to 11-1 record in 2011, with the only loss occurring in the sectional final to eventual Indiana 5A champion Carmel.

"I'm excited to get here and get started on my classwork and to start the conditioning program with Coach (Paul) Longo," Day said. "I really liked meeting the guys during my recruiting process and I'm excited to start workouts with them this winter."

Many internet scouting services rated Kiel the top quarterback recruit in the nation this year. The 2011 Indiana Mr. Football passed for 2,517 yards and 28 TDs as a senior and rushed for 482 yards and 11 TDs. He helped lead Columbus East High School to the Indiana state 4A semifinals as a senior and was named the Gatorade Indiana Player of the Year. Kiel passed for 7,175 yards in his high school career.

"This recruitment process was a roller-coaster ride at times, but I know I have made the right decision for my family and me," Kiel said. "There were three critical elements I was looking for in my future school: the quality of education I would receive, the distance from home and the comfort level I would have with the players and coaches in the football program. Notre Dame was the perfect fit for me because it hit all three areas.

"Coach Kelly was great throughout my recruitment, as many times our conversations had nothing do with football. That really showed me he had my best intentions in mind. He was persistent yet also patient while recruiting me and I look forward to playing for him the next four years. I couldn't be happier to be a member of the Fighting Irish football team. I'm excited about the future of the program."

Shepard was rated the third-best cornerback in his class by Scout.com and the number-36 player nationally by MaxPreps and Tom Lemming. Shepard was forced to sit out his senior season after transferring from Central East High School in Fresno. He made 10 interceptions in his high school career and played in the Semper Fidelis All-American Bowl in Phoenix.

"I'm really happy to part of the Notre Dame football family," Shepard said. "This is a special place and I'm excited to finally be here. Getting a jump start on my training and in my classes can only help me for the future."

Obviously this is huge recruiting coup for Notre Dame. Kiel will get the chance to compete with Tommy Rees, Andrew Hendrix and Everett Golson in the spring for the #1 starter job (Golson should win the job from what I'm hearing) in what was clearly Notre Dame's biggest deficiency by position in 2011. Notre Dame led the nation in turnovers last year due to poor QB play especially in the red zone.

Getting a transfer from arch rival USC is also unheard of. RB Amir Carlisle will have to sit a year in 2012 due to NCAA transfer rules but will have 3 years of eligibility left in Notre Dame starting in 2013. With Cierre Wood the only proven tailback on scholarship stealing a Carlisle away from the Trojans is huge. It not only helps the Irish but it obviously hurts the Trojans who were very high on Carlisle and his running abilities.

Sheldon Day and Tee Shepard are both elite defensive players. Day will get a year to work with Longo in the weight room and is not really expected to contribute in 2012 with the amount of depth and talent Notre Dame has on the defensive line. Shepard on the other hand will get the chance to start right away. In fact he might be the most important recruit in this class. With Robert Blanton and Gary Gray both leaving for the NFL Shepard will have the opportunity to compete with Bennett Jackson and Lo Wood for a starting cornerback position. USC has been trying for months to keep Shepard in-state and he is the type of athlete that Notre Dame usually loses battles with especially when the Trojans want a guy in their own backyard.

Now Kelly will wait to hear if the Armstead brothers, Arik and Armond, will also be enrolling early. It appears to be down to an Auburn vs ND for their services. Armond is a transfer from USC who as a two year starter for the Trojans on their defensive line could not play last year due to some mysterious medical issue that their doctors would not grant him permission to play. He is eligible to play right away since he already graduated and has one year left of college eligibility left. Arik, a high school early graduate, appeared to be set on early enrolling at Cal until yesterday when defensive line coach Tosh Lupoi suddenly left to take a pay raise at Washington. By Thursday we should find out if the Armstead brothers will be joining Gunner at Notre Dame or playing in the SEC at Auburn.

The Ole Miss Basketball Team Has Short White Cox

Ole Miss has Steadman Short, LaDarius White, and Demarco Cox. You don't see too many of those on a basketball court besides Duke.

Picture via Deadspin