3rd Annual SportsCrack.com March Madness Pool

Here is your chance to be a legend. Sure your life may suck because you sit in a cubicle all day and contemplate ways to kill your boss or tell a co worker to go F themselves but now you can forget all about that for at least the next 3 weeks. Join the SportsCrack.com March Madness Pool. It's FREE. It's fun. And the winner gets $100 worth of SportsCrack.com gear. 2nd place gets two free shirts. 3rd place gets one free shirt. 4th and lower gets loser tags. Don't be a loser. Be a winner and join today!

Bruce Springsteen and Neil Young Sing LMFAO's "Sexy and I Know It"

BRRRRRRRUUUUUUUCCCCCCCEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mo "Meaux" Isom vs Honey Badger

For some reason I've been ignoring this Mo Isom story down in LSU because I figured it was some butch trying out for the football team. Mo is clearly not a butch. In fact she is the homecoming queen who is not bad at all on the eyes and also a senior goal keeper who has a legit shot at doing a kickoff for Les Miles next year considering their place kickers were less than adequate last season. Hey it's a feel good story. Plus I'm not sure if you have heard about this Honey Badger fellow but he might become a household name soon.

We, meaning myself, would like to wish Mo nothing but the best of luck. She's a former Georgia prep soccer star and I married one so I feel like we know each other already in some strange down south way. Ok less talking and more pictures of Mo Isom...

Connor Powers Baseball Trick Shot Video Worth a Look

Just wondering out loud but do trick shot videos get guys laid? Because this shit San Diego Padres minor leaguer Connor Powers pulls most deservedly should. I mean I couldn't do a lot of this shit if I tried all day. The basketball trick shots don't seem nearly as hard as trying to hit a baseball right to a certain spot. So what do you think?

Via Hot Clicks

Peyton Manning and Jim Irsay Prove That Crying Is Allowed In Football

Trust me when I say this that it is extremely hard for me to find any sympathy for Jim Irsay when his father brutally ripped up Baltimore's hearts in the middle of the night with his Mayflower trucks but what can I say I guess I'm a softie. All too many times especially in professional sports I become very cynical of these athletes and the owners because in the end I think money is the ultimate goal for both. But for some reason I don't feel that way in this instance. Peyton Manning is by all accounts a great person and a great representative for the Colts franchise so you know it had to be extremely difficult for Irsay to let him go. But he honestly had no choice and I hope the fans of Indy can see that and not crucify him or the new QB in Andrew Luck.

I would have liked to seen Peyton retire yesterday. Look he has had 4 neck procedures in the past year alone. He's a hit away from facing serious consequences that could leave him regretting ever trying to make a comeback with another franchise. Peyton has nothing to prove at this point. He thinks otherwise. You have your ring. You have your money. You have your legacy. You have the respect of millions. Why risk it to play for another franchise at your age? I guess I just don't get it and I won't feel any sympathy towards Peyton if he seriously gets hurt with the Dolphins or Redskins or whoever else he decides to play for next season.

Right now my feeling is Peyton is on a parallel path to some old championship boxer who just doesn't know when to hang it up. Don't be Evander Holyfield fighting in Germany. Don't be Johnny Unitas playing with the Chargers. Be the guy who knew to walk away at the right time. John Elway went out on top when he could have played more seasons. Peyton isn't bigger than the game itself but I have this feeling he thinks he is and with his track record it would be hard to argue with him. I just have this horrible feeling the last time we will see Peyton in a football uniform will be him carted off on a stretcher. It doesn't need to be that way. Your family needs you more than any football team.

Don't be "that guy" Peyton. Be "the man" and walk away while you still can.

Kate Upton Esquire Video

And you thought you could come here to hear my thoughts on Peyton Manning's Era in Indy ending or the Saints Bounty "overblown" story? Nope. I'm just going to post this Kate Upton Esquire Magazine video and you can thank me later.

Kate Upton In Another Commercial: MLB 2K12 With Justin Verlander

Rated E for erection might be the best Youtube comment of all-time. It just hits the nail in the head.

Via Darren Rovell

This Would Be The Perfect Sports "Crack" Commercial

I mean does it get any fucking better? You know if I actually made money and wasn't scraping by on government cheese I would definitely make a commercial like this for SportsCrack. Some model just going around cracking stuff with her ass. It's Marketing 101. Shit we would probably be making more money than that dickhead who invented 5 Hour Energy. Who cares about having energy when you could be wearing a SportsCrack t-shirt that will get girls cracking nuts in their backside? It's fucking genius I tell you. First model to send in a video of her cracking nuts while wearing a SportsCrack shirt gets a free shirt and a thank you email. Ok shit I'll do two free shirts. I swear my generosity has kept this company from reaching it's ultimate goal: world domination.

The New Marlins Park Has An Aquarium Behind Home Plate

When I first heard the Marlins new stadium was going to have an aquarium behind home plate as the back stop I imagined something way over the top with an actual marlin or sailfish swimming around in a frenzy. Maybe it was all the drugs that still sweat out of my body to this day but now I am not nearly as excited after seeing this video posted of the aquarium. I mean there is no fucking way we are going to see the fish in the background when Hanley Ramirez decides not to run out a grounder in April. I'm sure they planned out the glass to be bullet proof but what if a foul ball somehow manages to hit a weak spot in the glass and it shatters? All in all though I think it's a cool feature and makes the new Miami Marlins stadium unique from others.

What isn't cool about the new stadium is the tacky home run feature that looks like it was designed by the production designer of The Birdcage. If you are going to go over the top go with the aquarium and not this monstrosity in the outfield.

J.P. Arencibia Does a Great Tim Kurkjian Imitation

Did you know that J.P. Arencibia is the only Blue Jay with the initials J and P to ever do an imitation of a current or non current ESPN MLB Analyst in the history of Canada and the WORLDDDDD! You just don't get it. I've invented a pill that gives worms to ex-girlfriends.

Minnesota Wild's Devin Setoguchi Is Graceful At Shootouts

Watching Devin Setoguchi during the shooutout of last night's game vs Montreal brought back distant memories of Mike Modano and other past Minnesota greats who could take the puck and do magical things with it.

And then get shot before taking an actual shot.


Via HoldOutSports

MLB Wild Cards Expanding This Season

According to Ken Rosenthal of Fox Sports Bud Selig has gotten his wish to expand the playoffs from the current 8 teams to 10 teams starting this season. From my understanding is two teams will have a one game playoff to determine who advances to the Wild Card stage. What it would have meant for last season is we could have seen the Atlanta Braves and Boston Red Sox continue their epic collapses for another game. I'm not really a big fan of expanded playoffs because the season is already way too long. They need to shorten the season and start it earlier while finishing it before October.

Baseball interest has been going down for years. Start spring training in February and the season in early March when sports is in it's doldrums. Do 144 games for the regular season. Have the playoffs start in September. If you want to expand the playoffs to 10 teams then fine but please start the season earlier. Once football is over it's excruciating trying to wait for the boys of summer to put on the cleats.

My new rules if I were in Bud Selig's shoes:
1) Spring Training 4 weeks starting in beginning of February.
2) 144 regular season games starting in early March.
3) Designated Hitters in both leagues.
4) 12 teams max make the playoffs.
5) Strict salary Cap with a max of $125 million and a minimum of $75 million. Whomever goes OVER or UNDER is not eligible for the playoffs and will lose revenue and draft picks. Make it strict!
6) And for shits and giggles no more 100 pitch counts just because I hate the pitch count. Arms shouldn't be measured by pitch count. It should be measured by MRI's.
7) MLB baseball takes ownership of the Baltimore Orioles, Pittsburgh Pirates and Los Angeles Dodgers because of incompetent ownership with a fair market value deal and sells it to someone who is willing to invest in their product.

Daytona 500 Highlights

A bunch of left turns, some wrecks, and some rain delays. Damn I can't believe I missed the excitement. Maybe next year I will actually give a shit.

2012 Top NFL Free Agents Predictions

NFL free agency begins March 13th and this year there are some huge names who could be switching uniforms. Unfortunately some of the biggest names will probably stay with their current team because they are too fucking good to just let them walk away. It's like having a good woman. You are not going to just let her walk away because you know it isn't going to get better without her rocking your shit every night.

1) Drew Brees-Don't worry New Orleans you are not going to lose Brees. Even at the age of 33 Brees continues to get better and is an elite QB who more than likely will have a bust in Canton. There is no way the Saints let him go. He will get a 6 year deal for over a $100 million with about $30 million in signing bonus.

2) Ray Rice-Rice has been dynamite in Baltimore and at the age of 25 still has at least 3 great years left on his tread. Like Brees I can't see the Ravens who run a great organization letting their best offensive player leave. The Ravens are trying to lock up QB Joe Flacco and it could effect how much they can give Rice. I say Rice resigns for six years at around $60 million with $20 million in signing bonus.

3) Mario Williams-Mario is coming off an injury and actually didn't contribute to the Texans first playoff run last season. Plus Houston doesn't have much cap room. Thus I see the Texans not resigning him. The Atlanta Falcons needs a pass rusher and Williams is the perfect fit especially with John Abraham leaving. Atlanta will sign him to 5 year contract for $65 million with $30 million in signing bonus.

4) Arian Foster-The Texans will lose Mario Williams because they will have to resign restricted free agent Foster. Foster is the focal point in the Texan's offense and will get paid accordingly. Foster will resign with Houston and get a similar deal to what Rice got with Baltimore: 6 years around $60 million. $20 million signing bonus.

5) Carl Nicks-Nicks is the best free agent guard when it comes to both pass blocking and run blocking and when you have a valuable piece like Brees to protect I find it very hard to believe the Saints will let Nicks go. Someway, some how the Saints will find cap room and resign Nicks although I am holding out hope he ends up in Atlanta. 8 years for $70 million. $25 million in signing bonus.

6) Matt Forte-Forte isn't staying in Chicago. Too much bad blood there especially since they didn't renegotiate his deal before his injury. The Bengals need a back and Forte would be a great fit. 4 year deal for $50 million. $22 million in signing bonus.

7) Cortland Finnegan-Finnegan is the top corner in the market and is just itching to get out of Tennessee. He seems like the type of player that Dallas would go after plus they need help in their secondary. The Cowboys will get their man with a 5 year deal for $48 million. $25 million in signing bonus.

8) Ben Grubbs-While losing Finnegan to free agency will hurt the Titans will gain a valuable guy to block for Chris Johnson in Baltimore free agent Grubbs. The Titans will sign Grubbs for 5 years at about $40 million. $14 million in signing bonus.

9) Cliff Avril-The Lions are one of the top up and coming teams in the NFL and Avril was a sack machine last year. The Lions have room to resign him and will do so. 4 year deal for $50 million to stay in Motown. $19 million in signing bonus.

10) Calais Campbell-The Cardinals want to resign Campbell but I don't think he wants to stay out west. The Hurricanes product is just entering his prime and the Dolphins have a need for a defensive end. In a way Campbell comes home and gets paid to be a professional athlete in the lovely city of Miami for the second time in his career.

Kate Upton Destroying Mankind With This Hardee's Commercial

Hardee's just hit a walk-off grand slam with this Kate Upton commercial. I think I honestly blacked out there for a while. This might be the greatest commercial ever. Fuck it. This IS THE GREATEST COMMERCIAL EVER!!!

Via HotClicks

Sacha Baron Cohen vs Ryan Seacrest

Trying to watch the Oscars is about as enjoyable as plucking your mole hairs but this shit Sacha Baron Cohen did to Ryan Seacrest on the red carpet was kind of funny. The amount of free advertising and publicity Cohen got for his new dictator movie for pulling this stunt is priceless. But the question everyone wants to know is who are those girls? I new dictators could get some good side pieces but those girls are super model quality. Someone needs to find out asap.

Ryan Braun Is Full Of Shit

Ryan Braun just pulled a Rafael Palmeiro. Listen I don't know Ryan Braun. I have never talked to him nor am I a Brewers fan. But I can tell he is lying.

There is no reason for MLB to go after one of their young superstars in Braun who is coming off a MVP season. He simply failed the test and got off on a technicality. There is a specific reason why MLB is pissed off. They know Braun's urine sample came out positive and it was through the roof by more than 3 times the highest level on record since they began testing.

Braun got off. He failed the test plain and simple. Every time I look at the Hebrew Hammer I can't help but think of Palmeiro in front of Congress. You can deny it all you want but there is no "boogeyman" tainting star ball players urine samples.

So either Braun is lying or some secret organization is out to "taint" Braun's reputation with a failed drug test. You be the judge.

Pearl Jam Sings "Jeremy Lin"

Yeah I know I promised I would stop with all the Jeremy Lin posts but shit, what else is there to talk about? Football and baseball are both not in season. Linsanity is basically the only interesting story happening right now in the sports world. I guess I could talk about Ryan Braun's winning appeal of a positive PED test but I have no idea what to believe or not in that whole case. Anyways Jimmy Fallon does a really good Eddie Vedder here and nails his newest hit "Jeremy (Lin)." Last night Lin had his worst game as a starter with as many turnovers as points (8) and the Knicks got smoked by the best team in the NBA in Miami. But all is not lost my friends. I had the Heat covering the 9 points.

Shit Baseball Players Say

Not bad. I would like to add:

-It's so fucking hot out here.
-Catch the fucking ball.
-Don't be an asshole, run that shit out.
-Pick it bitch.
-My balls are swollen.
-I can hit this fucker.
-Don't worry they got a bunch of black players on their team.
-Kid has a cannon.
-Turn it.
-Move up in the box.
-ROCKET FIRE!
-Holy shit this guy throws slower than Jaime Moyer.
-Back in the day I used to play with ____.

Feel free to add your own in the comment section.

Tampa Slugger Evan Longoria Is Hitting Clean Up With Playboy Playmate Jaime Edmondson

I know it's gotta suck to be Tampa Bay Rays 3B Evan Longoria. Not only does Evan have to play baseball for money and suffer the humiliation of getting paid millions but now he has to deal with dating a charity case like Playboy Playmate Jaime Edmondson. I mean look at her! All busted up. Poor guy. You know it's not just the millions of American families out there suffering because the middle class keeps shrinking it's the ball players who have to face the adoring attention of having to stuff a Playboy bunny every other night. I feel bad for Longoria. I hope he can get through this tough time.

I'm praying for young Longoria.

Anywho back to pictures of his road beef...