SportsCrack Blog

Sunday, April 08, 2012

Happy Easter From Kate Upton

Friday, April 06, 2012

Thursday, April 05, 2012

Ozzie Guillen's Postgame Routine is "Go To The Hotel Bar, Get Drunk, Sleep"


It's refreshing in a cynical sports world when an athlete or in this instance a manager can be honest when it comes to their drinking. The Miami Marlins new manager Ozzie Guillen was asked what he does on the road after the game. Guillen as always didn't shy away from the brutal truth according to Larry Brown Sports...

“I go to the hotel bar, get drunk, sleep,” Guillen said, according to Eye on Baseball. “I don’t do anything else.”

Guillen says he doesn’t even do much sight seeing when visiting cities.

“I get drunk because I’m happy we win or I get drunk because I’m very sad and disturbed because we lose,” Guillen said. “Same routine, it never changes. It’s been the same routine for 25, 28 years. It doesn’t change. I don’t like to go out.”



God bless you Ozzie Guillen. I would like to think Guillen drinks a lot because he is still plagued by the baseball gods (or in this case idiot writers) who gave him the Gold Glove in 1990 over Cal Ripken despite Ripken setting a major league record for fewest errors and highest fielding percentage by a shortstop. Having that kind of weight on your shoulders must be debilitating knowing you stole an award that clearly deserved to go to someone else.

Nah! He's just a drunk. Cheers!

College Football Needs A Gold Old Fashion Juicy Story: Bobby Petrino Abides With Motorcycle Crash



It's seems like it's been months since we have had a juicy college football story hit the news wire. 2012 so far has remained scandalous free up until Bobby Petrino decided to not only get in a motorcycle accident with his helmet off but was also carrying a young attractive blonde by the name of Jessica Dorrell. And like they say when your riding in tandems it's always kind to give a reach around. Deadspin.com has more details....

The police report for Arkansas coach Bobby Petrino's motorcycle crash on Sunday shows he had a previously unmentioned passenger: Jessica Dorrell, recently named student-athlete development coordinator for football.

OPERATOR PETRINO (V-1) WAS TRAVELING WEST ON HIS MOTORCYLE IN THE WESTBOUND LANE OF ARKANSASSTATE HIGHWAY 16 WITH PASSENGER DORRELL RIDING ON THE BACK. FOR AN UNKNOWN REASON, V-1 (PETRINO) TRAVELED ACROSSTHE WESTBOUND FOG LINE AS HE WAS APPLYING THE BRAKES. AFTER TRAVELING OFF THE NORTH SIDE OF THE ROADWAY THE REAROF V-1 (PETRINO'S MOTORCYCLE) BEGAN ROTATING COUNTERCLOCKWISE CAUSING V-1 (PETRINO) TO LAY OVER ONTO ITS LEFT SIDE.WHILE ON ITS LEFT SIDE, V-1 SLID NORTHWEST THROUGH A GRASSY ROAD DITCH, STRIKING A PILE OF DIRT AND TREE LIMBS IN THENORTH ROAD DITCH.

Dorrell was a four-time letterwinner in volleyball , and progressed to handling fundraising duties for the Razorback Foundation. Just last week she was named a development coordinator for the football team, and will "handle on-campus recruiting and work with incoming players on eligibility issues." It also seems she's supposed to get married in June. Her fiancé works for the swim team.

Arkansas's initial statement on Monday morning said the accident "involved no other individuals."


As an Atlanta Falcons fan who saw Petrino walk out in midseason on the team when the going got rough for Fayetteville this can't help but bring a huge grin to my face. Petrino is a snake. But the guy wins and he wins big so people put up with his shit. Now it will be interesting to see how Petrino addresses the situation. Apology to his family? Denies the allegations all together? Pull a Damon Evans and resign? Starts screaming PIG SOOI?



UPDATE: Bobby Petrino admits to "previously inappropriate relationship" and has been placed on administrative leave by the Arkansas Athletic Director. Basically he was boning Dorrell a girl half his age even though he is married with four kids. And this is in Arkansas. One can only imagine what Nick Saban is pulling in Tuscaloosa.

Here is another picture of Dorrell.


Look at the smirk on Petrino's face. He's probably getting foothead.

Rampage Jackson Has A Rape Video Out



I'm just going to go out on a limb and say that this was probably not the best decision by UFC star Rampage Jackson. It's a fairly awful attempt at humor. At least that is what I am hoping Rampage was going for. Because you know that whole rape thing is generally frowned upon. Unless it involves Catholics priests. Those jokes just never get old.

MLB 2012 Preseason Predictions


Bring me some peanuts, cracker jacks, and some fucking cold brewskis because baseball is back! The cumweed is fresh, the pitchers arms haven't yet fallen off, and every fanbase thinks they have a shot at going to the playoffs. You gotta love the start of the baseball season!

Here are my preseason predictions.

AL East Champs-Tampa Bay Rays. I got the Rays because of their excellent pitching winning a close divisional race over the Yankees. The Yankees have the better lineup but the Rays have the much better starting pitching and also the better manager while also playing in an environment that isn't the pressure cooker of the Bronx.

Predicted finish: Rays, Yankees, Red Sox, Blue Jays, Orioles

AL Central Champs-Detroit Tigers. The Tigers should run away with this division. They added Prince and their pitching will be better. Plus the Central is rather weak this year with the White Sox and Twins crumbling.

Predicted finish: Tigers, Indians, Twins, Royals, White Sox

AL West Champs-I obviously like the moves the Angels made in the offseason but I still gotta stick with the two time defending AL Champs in the Texas Rangers. The Rangers lineup is outstanding and although they lost CJ Wilson to the Angels I wouldn't be surprised to see his replacement in Yu Darvish put up better numbers.

Predicted finish: Rangers, Angels, A's, Mariners

Two Wild Cards-New York Yankees and Anaheim Angels. Yes this year there are two Wild Card teams in each league. Joy. We wouldn't want to focus on a salary cap or anything.

AL Champs-New York Yankees. Nope that is not a typo. It's a gut feeling the Yankees win the AL. Trust me I don't want it to happen.

AL MVP-Albert Pujols
AL Cy Young-Felix Hernandez
AL Rookie of the Year-Matt Moore

NL East Champs-The Phillies might not have a great lineup but their starting three of Halladay, Lee, and Hamels is unmatched in baseball. It will be a closer race than in the past with the Marlins and Nationals improving but the Mets should be horrible and the Braves will take a step back after a horrific September collapse.

Predicted finish: Phillies, Marlins, Nationals, Braves, Mets

NL Central Champs-Cincinnati Reds will bounce back after a disappointing 2011. The Cardinals still have a fighting chance despite losing their best player, their manager and their pitching coach and quite possibly their best pitcher if Chris Carpenter can't come back. This is going to be the best division not named the AL East. The Brewers still have a shot despite losing Prince and the Pirates should be better. Don't worry the Astros and the Cubs will still suck donkey balls.

Predicted finish: Reds, Cardinals, Brewers, Pirates, Cubs, Astros

NL West Champs-The San Francisco Giants should win the division because they have the best pitching. But then again they didn't last season and the surprising D' Backs took it so you never know what could happen. The Dodgers should be better with the best player and pitcher in the league leading the way. The Rockies and Padres just don't have enough talent to compete.

Predicted finish:Giants, Dodgers, Diamondbacks, Rockies, Padres

Two Wild Cards-St. Louis Cardinals and Miami Marlins. Both the Cards and the Marlins will barely miss out on winning their divisions but get the Wild Card as a consolation prize.

NL Champs-San Francisco Giants. I think the Giants bounce back in a big way this season and go back to the World Series.

NL MVP-Matt Kemp
NL Cy Young-Clayton Kershaw
NL Rookie of the Year-Bryce Harper

WORLD SERIES CHAMPS-San Francisco Giants over the New York Yankees in 6 games.

Blake Griffin Posterized Pau Gasol Twice Last Night


Click above for the awesome The Blake Show shirt.


The LA Clippers lost to the Lakers last night but that doesn't prevent me from posting these two insane dunks by one Blake Griffin. Here is the first dunk in which Griffin follows up a missed shot only to sky over Pau Gasol and throw it home emphatically. Watch the replay closely to see Gasol's face. Fucking priceless!


And then Griffin decided to do it again. This time he launches over Gasol and of course Gasol handles it like the bitch he is by complaining to the ref. Dude you got posterized twice! Take it like a man.


Videos via TheBigLead

Sport Science Shows Why Michael Floyd Will Be A Top 10 Pick



We have seen Michael Floyd for the past 4 seasons under the bright lights of the Golden Dome perform like a freak on the gridiron. There is a reason why Floyd holds school records in catches, career 100 yard games, receiving yards, and receiving touchdowns: he can't be stopped. We didn't need Sport Science to prove anything in regard to Floyd's playing ability but it does help solidify his standing as a top 10 pick.

One could make an argument for Justin Blackmon being the better receiver right now by the numbers he put up in the inflated Big 12 conference because he had a quarterback in Brandon Weeden who could throw precision passes against inferior defenses but honestly what kind of numbers do you think Floyd would have put up if he didn't have Tommy Rees throwing to him the past 2 seasons? 130 receptions per season? 1600 yards per season? I think it's fair to say that Michael Floyd will be the better receiver in the NFL and right now than Blackmon. He's 2-3 inches taller than Blackmon. He's faster than Blackmon (Floyd ran a 4.2 at the combine that Blackmon skipped). His vertical leap is better. He is stronger than Blackmon and he is bigger. So why is Blackmon a top 6 pick by most NFL draft pundits while Floyd is projected to go as low as 19?

I can't come up with an answer. What do you think?

Video HT: Dave

Wednesday, April 04, 2012

Brian Kelly Addresses Aaron Lynch's Absence Due To Fight, Louis Nix "Demotion" and Jamoris Slaughter's Move To Cornerback



Relax Notre Dame Nation. Aaron Lynch is not transferring. He got in a scuffle during Friday practice with offensive lineman Tate Nichols and apparently it was one in which punches were thrown. Lynch will come back to Notre Dame on Monday.

Louis Nix is now on the second team defense with true freshman Sheldon Day replacing him on the first unit. It sounds like Kelly and his staff want more consistency out of Nix during the spring and just haven't gotten it. I still expect to see Nix starting in the middle of Lynch and Stephon Tuitt come fall.

Jamoris Slaughter has been moved from his free safety position to the other starting cornerback position opposite Bennett Jackson. This move obviously means Lo Wood is not cutting it. The secondary will be the big question mark all season for the Irish after losing starters Gary Gray, Robert Blanton, and Harrison Smith to the NFL. Personally I'm not a fan of moving Slaughter to corner. Slaughter is an All-American candidate at safety and is probably the best hitter on the defense. I would rather see him facing the offense as opposed to having his back to the quarterback. Austin Collinsworth (son of Cris) will move into Slaughters starting spot at free safety playing along side Zeke Motta.

The good news coming out of Notre Dame recruiting today is the commitment of cornerback Devin Butler out of Washington D.C. Butler is the second corner and 10th commitment in the 2013 class. Butler picked ND over Penn State, Michigan, and Nebraska.

Expect another commitment soon from Georgia defensive end Isaac Rochell. The 5th rated strongside defensive end visited Notre Dame this past weekend and came away very impressed and ready to end the recruiting process. Rochell would be a huge get out of SEC Country as he has offers from across the nation.

Jonas Gray Game Used Worn Notre Dame Home Jersey



Now is your chance to own a piece of Notre Dame history. Last season tailback Jonas Gray averaged 7 yards per carry while rushing for 12 touchdowns during his senior season. Jonas brought back memories of ole #25 Rocket last season when he ran past Pittsburgh for a 79 yard game winning touchdown. Now you can own the same jersey he wore when coming out of the tunnel to play for the Fighting Irish.

The Jonas Gray Game Worn Notre Dame Jersey comes with a certificate of authenticity from Steiner Sports along with a matching hologram. The jersey size is 42. Only 1 available!

Britney Griner and Baylor Finish Off Remarkable 40-0 Season



Adam's Apple: check
Deep voice: check
Hormone levels: check

Finishing off 40-0 with a dude playing center in women's basketball: priceless.

Martin Kaymer Holes Out His Skip Shot Across The Masters 16th Pond



The Masters has many quirky traditions like sexism and racism but the best tradition by far is the practice round in which golfers attempt to skip a ball across the pond on the 16th. Yesterday Germany's Martin Kaymer holed one out. The crowd went nuts as you can hear from the Youtube video and Kaymer was allowed to finish his practice round. After all he is the master race: Aryan.

5'9 James Justice With The Between The Legs Slam


My neighbor Scott pointed out to me the NCAA slam dunk contest this past weekend and I completely forgot to post this amazing dunk by 5'9 guard James Justice from little Martin Methodist College in Tennessee. Justice won the contest with this between the legs throw down. Somewhere Spud Webb is smiling.

Tuesday, April 03, 2012

I Don't Think I Could Hang In This Game: Sepaktakraw



I consider myself somewhat athletic for a white guy in his 30's but even in my prime there is no fucking way I could play this game. I would have a torn groin on opening kickoff. Granted I pull my hammy these days when I fart so you can see how "athletic" I am.

Video HT: Dave

Maryland Now Has Orioles Mascot License Plates



If I still lived in Maryland I would definitely have one of these sweet new Orioles license plates offered by the Maryland DMV. But since I don't the question needs to be asked: When can I get a Braves one down here in Georgia? I don't want one with the tomahawk or the cursive A on it. I want the old school Braves chief Knockahoma as seen here. Georgia DMV has to make it happen. Hell you can make it politically correct by putting a slot machine or some empty beer cans near his face.

WHAT CAN BROW DO FOR YOU? #1 AND DONE 2012 CHAMPS T-shirt



Hey Kentucky fans have you ever wondered "WHAT CAN BROW DO FOR YOU?" Well he answered the question last night by delivering the 8th Championship in a season that ended in #1 AND DONE! Get the official UNIBROW Kentucky shirt here!

The NCAA Puts Education First, Spells Atlanta Wrong


Darren Rovell on WhoSay

It's good to know the Final Four will be in Alanta next year before I went ahead and dished out thousands for tickets to Atlanta.

One Shining Moment 2012



Kentucky won their 8th championship and first since 1998 last night and blah blah blah. This past season in college basketball was largely unremarkable. I guess the season will go down as Kentucky's "Won and Done" with John Calipari finally getting his slimy hands on his first championship but this tournament was pretty much boring as shit. I know college basketball won't change their rules but I would love to see what baseball has. Either you come out in the draft directly out of high school or you go to college and are not draft eligible till after your third season. I think it would make it a lot more interesting with players staying and being able to identify with the different programs instead of programs like Kentucky, Duke, North Carolina, etc. completely overhauling their starting lineup every offseason because all their freshman go to the NBA.

2012 will go down as the year of the unibrow.

Monday, April 02, 2012

Bar Refaeli Playing Tennis



Watching supermodel Bar Refaeli play tennis is so much more enjoyable then watching that Mongoloid on Baylor dunk the ball.

Via Hot Clicks

Friday, March 30, 2012

Norwegian Horse Racing Apparently Includes Humping



Well there you go. I've officially seen it all. Two Norwegian trolls just humping it up at a horse race.

Via TheBigLead