Not Sure Why This Carl's Jr Big Sausage Breakfast SuperBowl Commercial Was Banned

Who doesn't love sausage?  I guess those prudes who run network TV is the answer.

National Signing Day Special #GoldenArmy14 Shirts Only $6

Get the one and only #GoldenArmy14 shirt for only $6.  It comes in both a cotton version and a performance gym shirt.  Also all Tailgate Like A Champion shirts are $6 too.

Jared Lorenzen aka The Pillsbury Throwboy Still Has His Scrambling Ability

Holy blast from the past.  We all remember portly Jared Lorenzen from his playing days at Kentucky where he threw for over 10,000 yards and 78 touchdowns during his illustrious college career but I had no clue this guy was even alive let alone playing "professional" football.

The highlight above is from this past weekend with the Northern Kentucky River Monsters.  Lorenzen is now 320 pounds of gridiron God of donuts but still has his patented scrambling eggs of moves with him.  The Pillsbury Throwboy as he is affectionally called can still hot dog it on the field despite his little T-Rex arms.  I'm impressed.  And hungry.

Via BarStoolSports

Naked Seahawks Fan Shows His Legion of Boom on Live Seattle TV News

Not even going to lie...if one of my teams won a championship I would have my cock and balls  flopping out everywhere.  Just straight cockslapping reporters on live air if it actually happened.  Fortunately for you none of my favorite teams are that close to a championship.

Still waiting for some female nudie Seahawks shots.  Make it happen Seattle.

Richard Sherman's 30/30 Mockumentary By Frank Caliendo Was Hysterical

Comedian Frank Caliendo nailed every single impersonation in this Richard Sherman mockumentary.  The impersonations of Jon Gruden and Jim Harbaugh are comedy gold.  I could feel tears forming.  Chris Berman waving his hands and muttering like he has a peanut butter sandwich in his mouth is spot on.  George Bush's "Dijon" Sanders is also a favorite.  Shit this whole sketch is classic.  Caliendo brought his 98 mph heat with a back breaking curveball to this one.

Speaking of heat how about you do yourself a favor and get the shirt that's turned into rock star status now that the Seahawks have captured their first Super Bowl: Russell Mania.

Wing Bowl 22 in Philly Was Full of Fights

Philadelphia had it's annual Wing Bowl yesterday and if you have ever wondered what an insane asylum would look like without security or medication then here you go.  Just a bunch of wild animals going crazy.  White trash mucking it up in the stands while contestants below eat chicken wings for a grand prize of $22,000.  The winner was a 120 pound mom of 4 who managed to eat a staggering World Record of 363 wings.  Her kids must be so proud.  Full disclosure the Wing Bowl was 4 times more entertaining than the shitty Super Bowl last night.  What a shitstorm that game was in East Rutherford.

Failed Joe Buck Super Bowl Promo is Spot On

Joe Buck's Failed Super Bowl Promo from Funny Or Die      

You gotta give credit where credit is due: at least Joe Buck can laugh at himself.  Nothing is worse than some pompous a-hole who can't take a joke.

Katie Nolan Slams Rick Reilly for being Rick Reilly

Bravo to Fox Sports 1 Katie Nolan for sticking up for colleague Regis Philbin.  ESPN's Rick Reilly despite enormous odds has somehow managed to make himself look like an even bigger douche bag by slamming TV icon Philbin for his work on Fox Sports 1.  Why would he do such a thing?  I have no fucking clue but what I do know is Nolan is moving up quickly on the "SportsCaster" ladder.  Combining good looks with smarts and a voice that is neither annoying or whiny while clearly presentable is going to do wonders for Nolan.  In other words we are huge fans of her.

TV Azteca Host Mariana Gonzalez Crushed Super Bowl Media Day With See-Through Dress

Amo mi trabajo! #MediaDay #SuperBowlXLVIII pic.twitter.com/hiWtw8YoBV
— Mariana Gonzalez (@marianagzze) January 28, 2014

Sorry Erin Andrews.  Mariana Gonzalez just threw down the gauntlet with this white see-through dress.  Game.  Set.  Match.

By the way if you look closely you can see Jay Glazer jacking it to Mariana in the background.  True story.  Oh wait that's just me.  Carry on.

This Brings Back Some Memories: Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Cover GIF

Before the internet was around there were two things for adolescent boys to look forward to getting in the mail: Victoria Secret's catalog and the SI Swimsuit Edition.  They both had the hottest super models in there.  From SpankBank material with Elle MacPherson, Stephanie Seymour, and Kathy Ireland among others just showing off enough skin to let a young boy's mind race to what could be.  These days kids have it so easy.  Anyways this Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Cover GIF is basically a jerkoff time machine.  So many memories.

Via BarStoolSports

The NFL Bad Lip Reading is Back and it's Hilarious

I know I sound like a school girl but these NFL Bad Lip Reading videos make me giggle.  They probably didn't have enough time but it would have great if they had Richard Sherman's meltdown on there.  Nevertheless it's a great job.

Richard Sherman Mic'd Up Did Say "Hell of a Game" To Michael Crabtree

Cool now maybe the media can stop with the incessant Richard Sherman articles.  I mean who really gives a shit anyways?  Sherman is just a defensive back.  He can talk all the trash he wants as long as he can back it up with his All-Pro play.  It's not like he is the quarterback or a kicker who can single handily win or lose a game with his play.  Hell Sherman didn't even make the interception.  His teammate did.  So please stop with the Sherman storyline.  I get it.  He's from Compton.  He went to Stanford.  He was a 5th round draft pick.  He's the best corner in the game right now. He trash talks all fucking game.  Blah blah.  Until he intercepts a ball and returns it for a pick 6 Deion Sanders style then I don't really see what the big deal about Sherman is.  He's just a defensive back who has the tendency to blow up on camera while being interviewed by Erin Andrews.

Oh and by the way he is not a "thug."  "He is the Man" according to this new Beats by Dre commercial...

Minnesota Gophers Hot Fans Take Selfies in Stands

I'm so out of the loop these days but I think these three Minnesota Gophers students are taking selfies and/or Vines at the Minnesota/Wisconsin game last night.  Well it's our duty to rank them in...um...order.  Girl on the far left despite the TV graphic trying to block our view is clearly #1.  She just has the "it" factor.  She carries this crew 24/7.  Now the tough part.  Who is #2 and who is relegated to the dreaded #3 spot which isn't necessarily bad with this trio.  Despite the bedazzled phone I got to go with the blonde for #2.  It's the smile in the end.  The cute little smirk just clinches it.  Now we need to find out who these girls are.  There must be Instagram pictures out there.   By the way Minnesota won the game, upsetting #9 Wisconsin 81-68.  They were clearly inspired by these gorgeous Gophers.

Via TheBigLead

Yankees Sign Masahiro Tanaka for $175 Million

Just when I was starting to feel bad for the New York Yankees and those awful contracts they handed out to aging stars Alex Rodriguez, Derek Jeter, CC Sabathia, Mark Teixeira, Brian McCann, Jacoby Ellsbury, and Carlos Beltran they go out and totally redeem themselves by signing Japanese pitcher Masahiro Tanaka for seven-years, $155 million (plus $20 million posting fee).  This signing will work out great for the Yankees.  Tanaka has never pitched in the majors but fuck it, what does that matter?  He put up great numbers in Japan so "let's pay him Clayton Kershaw money" is a great way to build a franchise.  Brilliant in fact.  Absolutely no way this signing blows up in their faces.  Tanaka will perform great in the low pressure, laid back style that only New York can provide.  Plus he isn't making quite as much as A-Rod so he won't have a bulls eye on his back.  We all know Yankees fans are caring, loving individuals who no matter how much their stars struggle are only there to support them with admiration.  Good luck in NY Tanaka!

Baltimore Ravens Jacoby Jones Gives Grade A Drunk Interview At Pelicans Game

I have no fucking clue what Baltimore Ravens wide receiver Jacoby Jones said here at a clearly sold out New Orleans Pelicans game last night.  After decades of studying, practicing, and perfecting the art of drunk I still can't translate Jacoby's slurs.  Jacoby is so smashed he's wearing a LiveStrong bracelet.  Bro those were in style 10 years ago.  Yes ma'aaaamm!

Auburn Band Reacts to 2013 Iron Bowl Win

Unless you are an inbred Bama fan you have to get the chills watching this video of the Auburn band reacting to Chris Davis' epic missed field goal return for the winning score in the 2013 Iron Bowl.  I honestly don't see how these kids are even performing after watching this live in person.  I would have been going ape shit.  Fuck this fiddle I'm going down to the field to celebrate!

Jameis Winston Has A Country Song Called "He's Jameis"

I can definitely see Jameis and his friends rocking out to this slow country song with his friends while drinking moonshine in Southern Alabama.  Peas in a pod my friends.  Peas in a pod.

RussellMania Seattle Shirts Now Available! 50% sales goes to American Cancer Society

Ok SportsCrack Nation this RussellMania shirt is going to be our big fund raiser for the American Cancer Society.  As you probably know we have donated a portion of all our sales to the ACS since my Mom passed away from Cancer back in 2006.  Well in the past week I've had two close friends also lose parents to the terrible disease.  Simply put Cancer sucks!  I've decided that 50% of all sales from the new RUSSELLMANIA SEATTLE shirts will go directly to the American Cancer Society.  This is our chance to help stop this deadly disease.  If you don't want the t-shirt and simply want to donate directly to the American Cancer Society because you are an awesome human being please go to their site at this link.

Thanks SportsCrack Nation!

New Irish Green Shirt: Fear The Stache

Intensity.

Respect.

Epic.

Funny.

Classic.

Fear.

Stache.

All of these words describe our new FEAR THE STACHE Irish Green Shirt.  This classic tee will bring back memories of a Brawny defense.  A defense that will be unleashed in 2014 thanks to the "Fear the Stache" campaign.  Get the one and only "Fear The Stache" shirt today!

A Night In Louisville Starring Bobby Petrino and Rick Petino

With Bobby Petrino riding his Hog back to Louisville we now have two lost soul mates who can finally connect in the dance club with fellow Casanova Rick Pitino waiting on tender chariot.  It's going to be wet and wild for sure.  Secretaries, interns, colleagues, Hooters waitresses you have been warned.  Double P is coming for ya!