God bless FSU for cheering me up on this shitty Friday. While the proverbial shit is hitting the fan up in South Bend in which 4 Notre Dame players are getting suspended for banging a student advisor in exchange for doing their homework we have the always clean cut Semenholes showing their class. Love it. Do you FSU. Do you.
Awesome "dicksclaimer" by the way. I might have to start putting those on my shirts.
Via Irish Illustrated's Pete Sampson...
Brian Kelly announced on Wednesday afternoon that Everett Golson will start for Notre Dame against Rice.
The head coach told the staff on Tuesday night and informed Golson and Malik Zaire on Wednesday morning. Kelly added that it's unlikely Zaire will play this season in any kind of packages this season a la Andrew Hendrix and that if he gets time it will be because of either injury or Notre Dame being so far ahead that they can play reserves.
Golson as you know led Notre Dame to an undefeated 12-0 regular season before a humbling defeat in the National Title game vs Alabama during his one and only collegiate season in 2012. Coming off academic suspension Golson has gained 15 pounds of muscle while also working on his mechanics and footwork with noted QB guru George Whitfield in California. By all accounts Golson appears to be a more refined product who should be able to put up Heisman Trophy worthy numbers in Brian Kelly's offense now that they have the weapons and system in place to do so.
Prediction: Golson has a tremendous season leading the Fighting Irish to a 10-2 regular season record and a major bowl victory.
Prepare the fucking jolly roger! Yes it was a blind grab but who gives a shit. This play by Edinson Volquez deserves a slow golf clap.
Despite being absolutely shit canned and having newborn giraffe leg balance supermodel Chrissy Teigen still threw a decent first pitch at Dodgers Stadium. Teigen looks and acts like the girl who just wants everyone to think she is just one of the guys. This is cute and all till you realize she's being paid to be seen, not heard. I've never quite seen the appeal of Chrissy but hey at least she can hum it better than 50 Cent from the bump.
I think we all need to give Bama fans a dose of reality before they think they are a legit top 5 team this season.
A) You lost your two biggest games of the season to end the season.
B) You got fucking destroyed by Oklahoma in the bowl game.
C) You lost your best QB in 30 plus seasons to graduation in AJ McHandoff
D) You fucking hired Lane Kiffin to be your OC which is on scale with giving Superman an IV of kryptonite
E) The offensive line is in shambles
F) Your vaunted defense while playing a Mickey Mouse schedule only managed 17 sacks last season
G) Did I mention you hired Lane Kiffin who single handily tried his best to destroy USC football?
In other words temper your expectations Bama fans. You got talent but it's unproven. Granted you play another cupcake schedule with only two real tests in LSU and Auburn but don't think because you start October off undefeated that you have a legit shot at the college football playoffs this season. It's just plain dumb. Never go full retard Bama. Never.
Jordan Carver looks like a good wholesome shy chick who just wants to show her fans that even with her chest deformities you can persevere in this sometimes cruel world. Jordan keep doing your 200 squats. You are an inspiration!
Look I love dogs as much as any other guy but I don't talk about them like they're my girlfriend. I was waiting for Reveille to be shown in some doggy lingerie on his caretaker's bed when he said "she's the only woman in my life right now." Dude I get it that you love your dog but put away the peanut butter Aggie and go talk to some real women. Over/Under on this guy offing himself after this commercial airs nationwide has to be a month at the most right? As much as I love dogs and college football this commercial just made me feel like I was "forced" to watch some strange Mexican snuff film.
My gawd, he's only a freshman too. Everybody in SEC Country wants to talk about Todd Gurley and Leonard Fournette and for good reason but Nick Chubb to me will make the greatest impact this season. He's a fucking freak of nature. He's Chubb Strong. My gawd, only a freshman. I got money on Chubb going for over 1200 yards this season. Granted he is in Athens now and about half of his teammates will be suspended before kickoff vs Clemson.
Video via Dr. Saturday via BULLDAWG ILLUSTRATED
... Styrofoam tastes so fucking good. It's probably got less calories than a rice cake too. Delicious and nutritious. I gotta get me some Natty Light and styrofoam and make a night of it.
I can only imagine how much drool was pooled up on Chip Carey and Joe Simpson's chins after Braves shortstop Andrelton Simmons made another platinum glove play. Simba as he is affectionately called makes these plays so routine you almost forget how great of a fielder he is. Now if only his bat would come around then we could be looking at the best short stop in the game. At this point though he isn't even close to Troy Tulowitzki in that regard.
Keep on fighting the good fight Stuart. No easy words to use here other than cancer fucking sucks. But Scott is the type of person who can beat it because of his positivity and his ability to get the best treatment possible at John Hopkins. Keep on battling. You are an inspiration. Don't give up. Don't ever give up.
I guess I am no longer the most famous Towson University Alum. Kacy Catanzaro, a former gymnast at Towson, is the first female to ever advance to the American Ninja Warrior finals. You can see Mighty Kacy has some insane upper body strength along with great balance. She's not too bad on the eyes either. It's refreshing to see someone with some actual talent get the recognition she deserves unlike all of these "reality stars" of late.
Go Kacy!
With tip of the hats from Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, and David Letterman all this new Jordan commercial for Derek Jeter was missing was a few shots of his real accomplishments: his girlfriends. Minka Kelly, Jessica Alba, Mariah Carey, Adriana Lima, Jordana Brewster, Jessica Biel, Tyra Banks, and Vanessa Minnillo all in their prime had a piece of the Jeets. That's more impressive than anything he did on the diamond. He conquered numerous starlets off the field and had the intestinal fortitude to trade up every single time. Tip of the hat to you Jeter.
Speaking of Jeter is there a better shirt paying tribute to the guy than "The Captain?" Just so simple and perfectly stated. You might as well buy 7 of them for each day of the week.
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