TNT's Craig Sager is known for his tacky wardrobe, his inability to hold his alcohol, and for running around the bases and patting Hank Aaron on the back during his 715th HR trot before getting beat down. Listen, I've met Mr. Craig Sager a couple of times and I'm not his biggest fan. The guy is a lush who doesn't know shit about sports let alone the actual ones he covers. And this is coming from a guy who is a lush. At least I know my sports even when I'm ten beers deep or in Sager's case 4 Vodka and Diet Cranberry's. So it comes with great joy to see Sager in his pumpkin suit get doused with the bubbly by ADD spokesperson and all around nutcase Jonathan Papelbon after the Red Sox eliminated the Angels yet again.
With both college and pro football rocking along with the MLB playoffs I haven't had much of a chance to pay attention to the start of the NHL season. Apparently it kicked off last week in Prague because the NHL would rather concentrate on the European market than the North American. They call it going global. Whatever.
My favorite team is the Atlanta Thrashers and unfortunately they are as consistent as jock itch. They have a GM in Don Waddell who sits when he pees. They have a superstar in Ilya Kovalchuk who is a top 5 offensive player in the league yet they still can't find him a suitable point man. Kovy will be gone within two seasons because he deserves better in my opinion. The guy gives it his all and yet management can't surround him with decent pieces. They had the third worst record in the NHL last year after a season in which they won their division and made their first franchise playoff appearance only to get crushed by the New York Rangers in a sweep. I got to view it personally while spending a ton of hard earned money on shitty Molson beer when I could have watched it at home while drinking shitty Bud Light.
The games are still not in HD locally so yeah, a lot to look forward to this season. At least we picked up an aging defenseman in Mathieu Schneider who is at least 3 seasons past his prime. Things are looking up I tell ya.
In the looking good department at least they managed to put together a new "Blue Crew" team of ladies in tights skating around on a thin piece of ice while picking up hats after Kovy scores a hat trick...
At least tickets will be cheap and easily accessible again.
As some of you may know I am a huge "Kids in the Hall" fan. I use to watch their shows all the time on Comedy Central before the network decided the phrase "Git R Done" was just too hilarious for simple minded rednecks. If you have never seen the movie "Brain Candy" you should stop everything right now. I'm serious. Get your finger out of your nose and stop thinking about ways to kill your boss without it ever being tied back to you. "Brain Candy" is the greatest piece of Canadian work brought to the States since Celine Dion tore it up at Caesars and/or Bryan Adams singing that catchy Robin Hood song. All sarcasm aside it's good to see the original five members of "Kids in the Hall" back together and on tour in order to make people like you and me laugh while we slowly die as our country implodes...
Yeah, rape Kevin sounds a lot funnier than rape Bruce. Eventually the Kids are going to do another movie together called Death Comes To Town which is due for Canadian release in 2010 which means it will be released in the US next week. Those Canadians are always at least a year behind us when it comes to pop culture. If you are asking yourself "What does this have to do with sports?" well then pretend the raping of Kevin is being performed by the Duke Lacrosse team.
For those of you who may be interested in the Tarholes, FUSC, and Crank Me Up! shirts I have a good deal going for those t-shirts till Wednesday at midnight. They are now on sale for only $10 so feel free to load up on the shirts before the sale ends.
Salma Hayek was on German television this week promoting her affinity for the German holiday of Oktoberfest by showing off the puppies. God blessed her in so many ways...
If seeing Salma in a low cut traditional dirndl doesn't make you thirsty then you should just go ahead and cut your losses and exit this world. God would want you too.
By the way I am still looking for tickets to the UGA-Tennessee game so if anybody has any extras they need to get rid of please email me. I will give you free publicity on the blog if you have a company or work for a company needing some promotion. In fact, I will give you a banner ad on the right toolbar for a month for 4 tickets. Right now I would even settle for tickets to the Vandy game in Athens. Just putting it out there.
We are almost to the midpoint of the regular season in college football so I figured why not take a look at the top players in the nation. Before the season started the front runners, in other words the guys getting the most publicity, were Beanie Wells, Knowshon Moreno, Tim Tebow, and Chase Daniel. The first three guys have apparently fallen back in the discussion because their teams have a bad loss or injuries played a part. This is a shame because I still think Wells is the best running back in the nation with Moreno being a close second. Tebow is just getting hit way too many times this season and it is eventually going to catch up with him if it hasn't already. In fact the guy will be damaged goods by the time Urban Meyer is done with him and enters the NFL Draft.
1. Chase Daniel, Missouri-Chase has been near flawless all season while leading the Tigers to a chance for not only a Big 12 Title but a BCS Title. He is on pace for a 36 TD-to-2 INT season while completing over 75% of his passes. His pinpoint accuracy shredded apart Nebraska on Saturday night and should get plenty of voters to notice.
2. Colt McCoy, Texas-The Real McCoy has rebounded nicely from a dismal 2007 sophomore season. He is on pace for over 40 TD's combined throwing and running and has Texas back in the National Championship talk. If he has a big game against Oklahoma this week he could be the new front runner.
3. Beanie Wells, Ohio State-He has missed half of the season because of a toe injury but in the 3 games he played he has been dynamic and unstoppable. The Buckeyes are garbage without him but with him they are a top 15 team. He is a force to be reckoned with and I have the feeling if he can stay healthy he can't get back into the Heisman discussion real quickly. He is that good.
4. Javon Ringer, Michigan State-He has carried the Spartans all season and while I know his YPC is not that impressive it is hard to argue with a QB as bad as Hoyer that defenses are overly stacking guys in the box trying to stop Ringer. He is on pace for 450 carries this season which equates to about two seasons of solid running. This will kill his NFL stock but the kid is a flat out player who deserves to be mentioned as a Heisman contender.
5. Charles Scott, LSU-Scott has emerged as a top flight RB this season and has eclipsed the 100 yard rushing mark in every game for the Tigers. If he has a big game this week against Florida, say 140 plus yards and a couple of TDs, then his name will start getting a lot more pub. You have to remember SEC defenses are lot harder to go against than say Big 12 defenses so that is why I pick a guy like Scott over say a Sam Bradford or Graham Harrell at this point.
Just missed the cut: Knowshon Moreno(Georgia), Tim Tebow(Florida), Sam Bradford(Oklahoma), Graham Harrell(Texas Tech), Glen Coffee (Alabama)
Paraguay's Leryn Franco captured the hearts of millions of males this summer when she competed in the javelin throw in Beijing. Her looks and not her actual skill made her an overnight internet sensation and now On205th has the NSFW pictures of Franco on the catwalk.
It's now only a matter of time before Franco is in Playboy. Then after that she will make some boring cameos on soap operas. Then soft porn. Then hard core porn. It's the circle of life.
NOON Penn State at Purdue(ESPN)-The Boilermakers have one of the worst defenses in the country and the Nittany Lions have one of the best offenses. I think Penn State will be top 5 after this week with a convincing win over Turdue and Wilford Brimley.
Duke at Georgia Tech(ESPNU)-Paul Johnson has done a masterful job so far at Tech and I expect him to have the Yellow Jackets ready to pound the ball down the Dukies throats all game.
12:30 Florida at Arkansas(Raycom)-The Gators were shocked last week at home against Ole Miss and will take their frustrations out on a horrible Arkansas team in Fayetteville. Tebow will have a Heisman-worthy game.
2:30 Stanford at Notre Dame(NBC)-Stanford brings in a solid run game but they face a Notre Dame defense which has improved from last year. The Irish will pull away in the second half as their offense has too much firepower for the Stanford D.
3:30 Kentucky at Alabama-A battle of undefeated SEC Teams, this could be a serious letdown game for Bama after the lopsided victory over the Dawgs last week. We all know Kentucky has some serious poon talent (picture above courtesy of HotSECPoon)but the football talent is still second rate to what Bama has. I think Bama wins but it will be closer than a lot of people think.
8:00 Ohio State at Wisconsin-The Badgers blew a 19-0 lead against Michigan last week and lost. These Buckeyes are a lot stronger than those Wolverines. Beanie Wells breaks out and the Buckeyes cruise in Madison.
Stanford Cardinal offensive lineman Chris Marinelli (pictured right) was asked what he thought of Notre Dame and their defensive schemes going into Saturday. Apparently he doesn't think too highly of their defense or anything or anybody for that matter who even associates with Notre Dame according to the Rock Report....
"They are going to bring a great deal of blitzes – on first down, second down, third down, every down. All kinds of guys and they bring it a bunch of different wayy... but on the same token it's going to go bad for them at one point and we are going to gash the (expletive) out of them, I promise you that. So keep bringing it, keep bringing it. They have one sack all year on 200 blitzes."
"They can keep bringing all the stuff they want", Marinelli added. "We can pick up blitzes. Our defense, blitzes more than anyone in the country, too. So we are ready for that. That's no big deal.
"We've seen everything they've shown on tape. We've seen it before, it's nothing new. They are very disciplined with what they do, which kinda makes it nice. Sometimes when they screw up, it works out better for the defense. We aren't too worried about, we are a uniform group and we'll slide right in there."
"I hate it, playing up there," Marinelli said. "The field, excuse my language, the field sucks. The stadium sucks. I think the area sucks."
"I grew up with a bunch of Irish and Italian Catholic people back home. And all the Irish Catholic people, all they talk about is Notre Dame this, Notre Dame that. And they've never even been there, ya know. So I hate those guys, I hate that school.
"We are going out there to mash them up and that's all there is to it."
If Notre Dame ever needed motivation or bulletin board material going into a home game against the Stanford Trees then Marinelli more than provided it. Usually I don't get too upset with player comments to the media because sometimes they can be taken out of context or misconstrued. This is certainly not the case.
"FUCK MARINELLI!" is what I'm thinking right now. It's more than obvious the kid has no respect for Notre Dame so it's now up to guys like Mo Crum, Brian Smith, and David Bruton to shut his mouth and destroy Stanford in front of a national audience. Notre Dame football needs to make a statement in which they will not take any shit talking especially from some kid who plays for fucking Stanford.
Put Marinelli in his place tomorrow Fighting Irish. I look forward to seeing the Irish celebrate a victory in grand style tomorrow while also shutting up Marinelli and Stanford thus earning back some respect by blowing them out as soon as they come out of the tunnel.
1. Alabama Crimson Tide-Bama is the new #1 after completely destroying Georgia in Athens. In every game they have dominated including two wins against top 10 opponents. As much as I hate Nick Saban you have to respect him because the guy knows how to develop a tough, hard nosed team that can win games. They have Kentucky this week at home and should handle them despite it being a letdown game.
2. Missouri Tigers-Chase Daniel and Co. were off last week but face a tough road test at Nebraska. Mizzou last won in Lincoln 30 years ago and despite some early struggles on defense I think they can handle the Huskers.
3. Oklahoma Sooners-The Sooners were very impressive in a dominating win over TCU at home. Sam Bradford has the Sooners offense rolling and the defense finally looks like it can stop people. They get a tuneup this week against Baylor before their annual gut check game at the Red River Shootout.
4. LSU Tigers-Les Miles has a dynasty at his hands if he can regroup his team this off week and get ready for a battle in the Swamp next Saturday.
5. Texas Longhorns-The Longhorns will get their first real test of the season with a road game at Boulder this Saturday. So far they have been killing everybody behind a near flawless season performance from QB Colt McCoy but playing against the Buffs will be a lot more difficult especially with Oklahoma looming next weekend in Dallas.
6. Penn State Nittany Lions-They are now in the driver's seat to win the Big Ten conference as they have steamrolled over opponents in the first 5 weeks. They travel to Purdue this week and will need to prove how good they are on the road as they are only 9-16 since the 2003 season. Purdue can't play defense so expect a high scoring affair with Nittany Lions putting up at least 40.
7. Auburn Tigers-This is probably the ugliest top 10 team in the nation as they have struggled to victories over Miss. State and Tennessee and lost to LSU in the last minute. Tuberville's team usually have a knack for winning ugly games and with their defense they should be able to compete in every game. I think it's time for them to let Kodi Burns be the QB this week against Vandy. It should be a great game in Nashville.
8. South Florida Bulls-They are undefeated and play in the Big East. Big fucking deal right? If this team goes undefeated in the regular season and plays in the BCS Championship game over a one loss SEC or Big 12 team I think I will have to give up on the BCS...just kidding, I gave up on a long time ago.
9. Texas Tech Red Raiders-They have played creampuffs so far and devoured them but they could get a tough game this week in Manhattan. Kansas State can put points on the board in bunches so it should be an entertaining game that nobody outside of those two fan bases will see.
10. Vanderbilt Commodores-Holy fucking shit. I actually have Vandy in the top 10 and not USC, Georgia and Florida. Someday I will look back at this post and realize it was the turning point for my growing insanity. College GameDay comes to Nashville this Saturday for their battle against Auburn. If Vandy wins their 3-0 in the conference and have a legit shot at winning the SEC East.
Head over to our EBAY store page to check out some really good deals on some of our new items. As I mentioned last week we have some really good deals on College and Pro Football helmets too so if you are ever looking for a good deal on a replica or authentic Riddell or Schutt helmet let me know.
This is our new shirt in jest to a certain figure at football games. The person has become a notorious figure during gameday and has often stated that "Beer makes you stupid" when arresting or throwing out paid spectators. To hear more about the story click on this NDNation link.
This shirt comes at the request from hundreds of ND students and fans who have felt their rights violated in some part due to an overzealous security and police force at games. They have even disrupted good old fashioned tailgating before the football games which I'm pretty sure would get you castrated in the South. Don't ever mess with men and women and their tailgates!
The "slured speach and stumbly" on the back of the shirt is a poke at a certain usher's descriptive writing when arresting a spectator. The shirts are only $15 with 10% of sales going to Hannah and Friends, a nonprofit organization formed by the Weis family to help children and adults with special needs.
We are taking preorders now. The shirts will start shipping starting at the beginning of next week.
And please remember that these shirts are satirical and meant to be funny because as most of us know drinking beer is fun at football games as long as you don't go overboard like myself by drinking way too much and waking up later with piss all over yourself. God, those were fun days.
In the past two weeks I have managed to get off my lazy ass and worked up enough energy into getting my round tub of goo to the gym. I want to get back into decent shape as I near the age of 30. As you get older you realize your metabolism slows down dramatically and all those beers and tacos (literally and figuratively) you consume daily eventually catches up to you to a point where one day you get winded just waking up. The hangovers get worse and the abs swell to epic proportions. It gets disgusting and kind of depressing to be honest. I hadn't been to a gym regularly in a while and I must say things have changed. Obama keeps talking about change and now I'm wondering if the change had to do with how much more open men are in the locker room. Take for instance this situation where I went in to burn some calories from the old beer gut and just wanted to change back into my normal clothes in the locker room only to be put in this predicament...
Video HT: Little Britain USA, a side hurting comedy which is a must see on HBO Sunday nights.
Busted Coverage has the poonrific shots of some young sassie strutting her stuff in Gamecock and Clemson attire. Poor girl has a hard time picking winners with two South Carolina programs with struggling coaches in Steve Spurrier and Tommy Bowden both on the proverbial hot seat as their respective programs struggle to match their preseason hype. She should just wear the FUSC or Ann Arbor is a Whore shirt. They are always winners.
Milwaukee Brewers vs. Philadelphia Phillies-The Brewers make their first playoff appearance since 1982 and come in winning 6 of their last 7 games but will be without starter Ben Sheets. This is a huge loss for the Brew Crew because with him I think they win the first two games in this series with him teamed up with C.C. Sabathia. Since he isn't there I see the Phillies winning game 1 behind a strong performance from Cole Hamels. The Phillies bats in the postseason against Colorado were colder than Al Davis' balls last year but I think they will be much warmer and alive this year. Ryan Howard has been on fire in the past month and Chase Utley is ready to prove how great of a player he is on a big time stage. The Brewers win game 2 behind Sabathia but don't have enough pitching the rest of the way. I got the Phillies winning it in 4.
Los Angeles Dodgers vs. Chicago Cubs-Call me crazy but I wouldn't be surprised one bit if the Dodgers sweeped this series. Joe Torre and Manny Ramirez have this team firing on all cylinders so to speak and I think the pitching match ups favor the Dodgers in the first two games and possible the third. Derek Lowe has playoff experience and is a proven commodity whereas Ryan Dempster basically came out of nowhere this year to earn a first game start in the playoffs. I'm not saying Dempster is due to fail but I think Lowe will be stronger in game 1 and Manny and Andre Ethier will feast off Dempster mistakes. It is true that the Dodgers have the worst road record and the Cubs have the best home record among playoff teams but remember we are still talking about the Cubbies here. I think Carlos Zambrano will have a meltdown in Game 2 and put the Cubs in 0-2 hole. Rich Harden will come back and win in LA but I think the Dodgers pitching will hold up and they will get some timely hitting from the middle of the order. I got the Dodgers taking it in 4 games.
Boston Red Sox vs. Anaheim Angels-The Red Sox absolutely own the Angels during playoff time but the Angels crushed the Red Sox throughout the 2008 season. The Angels wrapped up their division almost a month ago and have been set on cruise control for most of the season. I think it catches up to them in this series. The pitching match ups on paper look to favor the Red Sox since they played in a much tougher division than the Angels and as a staff put up some great numbers. Honestly I think who ever wins the first game will win the series but I am interested to see how the Sox look without Manny Ramirez in their lineup come playoff time. Sure, Jason Bay is good but he is not nearly as good as Manny, especially in clutch situations. I'm going with the Red Sox in the first two games because I think Jon Lester and Dice-K are both better than John Lackey and Ervin Santana at this moment in time. But I think the Angels will win the next two games in Boston as their bats will start to heat up. In the end though I think the Red Sox are the better overall team in terms of pitching and hitting and have the psychological advantage over the Angels especially when you see so many Red Sox chowderhead bandwagon douche bags hanging out in Anaheim cheering for their flavor of the decade. Red Sox win in 5 games.
Chicago White Sox vs. Tampa Bay Rays-The White Sox managed to squeeze in to the playoffs with some clutch performances from two future HOFers in Jim Thome and Ken Griffey Jr. last night. The Rays managed to win the difficult AL East behind some great starting pitching and a lot of young players stepping up their game. I haven't been convinced all season that the White Sox are really that good of a team. I know the Rays are good. Forget about their past this team knows how to win games, especially close ones. I think overall the Rays have a much better team than the White Sox. Their confidence is really high and their young pitching with guys like Matt Garza and Scott Kazmir are ready to shine. As much as I would love and pull to see a class act like Griffey make a World Series appearance the only way he will be there is as a guest announcer. Tampa Bay Rays sweep in 3.
Now I know what Death sounds like when it's talking. Just a season after Al Davis traded away coach Jon Gruden to the Tampa Bay Bucs they have been a collective mess for six seasons and the franchise has rapidly turned into the laughingstock of the NFL. "Just win baby!" has become "We will win" which translates to when ever Davis sells the team or just dies.
Don't feel bad for Lane Kiffin. He will eventually get his money and should land a head coaching job in college as soon as Ty Willingham is shown the door at Washington.
This must be the reason why the security at Notre Dame football games has been so ridiculously over the top the past decade. It has become so obvious that football, booze, and cooking in a parking lot can lead to a fireball of destruction. Otherwise known to go by the name of Cappy at Notre Dame or Al Davis in Oakland. Both are good at destroying any sort of fun the fans might be looking for while rooting on their team before, during, and after a game. They must be stopped or thrown out because football just isn't as entertaining with those two guys in charge.
It's comforting to know that political games along with pissing and moaning among our government officials will never come in between what is good for our economy. I mean honestly, I didn't really think all that money I kept putting in my 401k was actually going to pan out in the long run. I've learned a good lesson to never put good old fashioned boozing money or hooker spit money for that matter into something our financial institutions and government would just manage to throw away any ways. My bad.
