EVERETT GOLSON'S SENIOR FILM IS OUTSTANDING

I can't wait for this kid to be competing in South Bend this spring.

Elusive runner: Check.

Rocket arm: Check.

Throwing accuracy: Check.

Proven winner: Check.

Everett Golson brings back memories of Charlie Ward ripping it up down in Semenhole Country. He's 6 foot at best but the way he moves around the pocket and keeps his head down field even when under pressure is reminiscent to Ward when he was winning a Heisman. Golson will be the perfect fit for Brian Kelly's spread offense. He's extremely accurate and quick with his decisions. I'm not going to go out on a limb and say he starts next season as a true freshman but I do believe one of the other quarterbacks (sophomores Tommy Rees, Andrew Hendrix, and Luke Massa) will transfer due to Golson jumping ahead of them.

TIME TO RISE UP AND CLINCH THE HOME FIELD FOR THE FALCONS

No more posts after this one. I'm already wrapped in four layers of clothing getting ready to head down to the Dome to see the Falcons beat the shit out of the Saints. The tailgating gear is packed. The beer is cold. I won't be able to feel anything since it's in the 20's down here in "Hot"lanta but I could care less. It's time for the Atlanta Falcons and Matty Ice to clinch home field for the eventual NFC Champions Atlanta Falcons. You got that right folks. The Falcons will be going to Dallas in early February and yes we are going to fuck up Tom Brady. Mark it down. Put it in stone.

Falcons Fever Bitches!


Image courtesy of AJC.com

INGA FROM SWEDEN SAYS MERRY CHRISTMAS (AND NEEDS A SPANK)

I wanted to send everyone out with a Merry Christmas and since you are naughty I might as well give you a spanking.

The talking banana in this video brought tears of laughter. This might be the greatest Christmas song of all-time by the way.

Bucknuts Busted...

Five Ohio State players will sit out the first five games of next season and one additional player will sit out the first game of next season, all for receiving improper benefits as far back as 2009. One of these players is Ohio State QB Terrell Pryor who was recently quoted on Twitter as saying "I paid for my tattoos. GoBucks". I have tattoos and a job that pays well and I couldn't afford the work Pryor has. He paid for tatts and I'm running for president. In the words of Dr. Gregory House, "IDIOT!".

What I don't quite get is how these players, who have been found to have been receiving improper benefits for 2 years are punished for 5 games. Why have the victories not been forfeited? How are these guys playing in the bowl game? Looks like the NCAA plays favorites. I don't give a crap if all of these guys play, plus their 2011 recruits. I can't wait to watch Arkansas blow out yet another over rated Ohio State team. They probably shouldn't play and save themselves another embarrassing SEC loss then complain they didn't have their entire team.

Check out the full story here as reported by ESPN.com and the Associate Press

COLUMBUS, Ohio -- Five Ohio State football players, including quarterback Terrelle Pryor, must sit out the first five games of the 2011 season for accepting improper benefits, the NCAA ruled Thursday.

A sixth football player must sit out the first game in 2011 for receiving discounted services in violation of NCAA rules.

All of the players be eligible for the Jan. 4 Allstate Sugar Bowl, however.

Five players were found to have sold awards, gifts and university apparel, plus receive improper benefits in 2009. In addition to missing five games next season, Pryor, Mike Adams, Daniel Herron, Devier Posey and Solomon Thomas must repay money and benefits ranging in value from $1,000 to $2,500. The repayments must be made to a charity.

Jordan Whiting must sit out the first game next year and pay $150 to a charity for the value of services that were discounted because of his status as a student-athlete.

The NCAA announced the suspensions on Thursday, shortly before Ohio State athletic director Gene Smith and coach Jim Tressel were to meet with reporters to discuss the university's investigation of players trading autographs for tattoos.

Adams must repay $1,000 for selling his 2008 Big Ten championship ring and Herron must repay $1,150 for selling his football jersey, pants and shoes for $1,000 and receiving discounted services worth $150.

Posey must repay $1,250 for selling his 2008 Big Ten championship ring for $1,200 and receiving discounted services worth $50, while Pryor must repay $2,500 for selling his 2008 Big Ten championship ring, a 2009 Fiesta Bowl sportsmanship award and his 2008 Gold Pants, a gift from the university.

Solomon must repay $1,505 for selling his 2008 Big Ten championship ring for $1,000, his 2008 Gold Pants for $350 and receiving discounted services worth $155.

"These are significant penalties based on findings and information provided by the university," Kevin Lennon, NCAA vice president of academic and membership affairs, said in a statement released by the NCAA.

The players are eligibile for the bowl game because the NCAA determined they did not receive adequate rules education during the time period the violations occurred, Lennon said.

"We were not as explicit with our student-athlete education as we should have been in the 2007-08 and 2008-09 academic years regarding the sale of apparel, awards and gifts issued by the athletics department," Ohio State athletic director Gene Smith said in a statement. "We began to significantly improve our education in November of 2009 to address these issues. After going through this experience, we will further enhance our education for all our student-athletes as we move forward."

REX RYAN DOESN'T DENY THE FOOT FETISH VIDEO

You know I never thought I would see the day where boisterous Rex Ryan was just be flat out embarrassed. Now I just feel bad for the guy. But then again if it was such a private issue then why is he and the wifey making videos and posting them on the internet? The New York Media is going to eat this guy alive starting with the feet.

TAKE BOISE STATE TO COVER TONIGHT

Besides the hiccup against Nevada in which their kicker pulled a Finkle Boise State has been straight up crushing teams. They get to vent off some frustration tonight in the Las Vegas Bowl vs. Utah. Kellen Moore is going to be throwing bombs all game and I don't think this game will even be close. Utah maybe a top 20 team but Boise is really a top 4 team.

Take Boise State to cover the 16 and go make some god damn foot fetish snuff films.

Prediction: Boise State 48 Utah 17

"LET'S GO EAT A GOD DAMN FOOT" FETISH REX RYAN VIDEO

This is a video of Rex Ryan's wife, Michelle, showing off her feet while Rex narrates and apparently gets off on the sight of his wife's feet. Out of all the fetishes I never understood the foot thing. Feet are nasty. Give me some boobs, ass, lips, and legs and I can understand the fascination. But feet? Gross.

Get your shit straightened out Rex. Or go get a god damn snack. Stop being a jackass.

LINGERIE FOOTBALL BENCH CLEARING BRAWL

If that douchebag Geno whatever the fuck his name is who coaches women's basketball at UCONN wants the media and the world to actually care about their stupid winning streak maybe they should take a cue card from the Lingerie Football League. Actually never mind. I don't even watch Ultimate Fighting because there is too much ball grabbing and random nut shots. I could only imagine what it would be like with women's basketball. It's been a while since I've made myself vomit but I think I just broke the streak with the thought. Fuck.

Dan Connolly... my hero

Who says lineman can't run?!?!? Mr. Connolly, I love you, you're my hero. Check out the video on YouTube.

Greinke to the.... Brewers?!?!

MLB Photo

What's up sports fans? I hope all of you are having a great holiday season. I bet none of you are having happier holidays than a Mr. Carl Crawford, Mr. Jason Werth, or Mr. Cliff Lee, that is unless you are Frank Wren or Doug Melvin. Of course the headlines will be full of the new $100 million men, but what about the genius trades by Wren and Melvin this off season?

AP Photo/John Bazemore

Let's start with Wren. Everyone in Atlanta has given Wren the WTF face at one point or another. Let's be honest, who would've thought picking up Troy Glaus and Eric Hinske would send the Braves to their first post season in 4 years? Wren also picked up a serviceable Melky Cabrera and lefty reliever Mike Dunn for Javier Vasquez who did what with the Yankees? Granted, Wren also engineered the Rick Ankiel and Kyle Farnsworth deals, but who can blame the guy for taking a chance? To follow up last year's off season, Wren must have felt the Marlins got a directive from Santa Claus himself by practically giving away Dan Uggla, one of the most offensively talented second base in history. The Braves will miss Omar Infante, but the buy low sell high model was nothing but sheer genius. The Braves lost Dunn (see above) and Infante, a career utility infielder, to shore up the one thing the Braves have been missing since the glory days of Andruw Jones, a clean up hitter. Martin Prado was more than willing to move to left and will eventually take over for Chipper Jones when Chipper soon becomes the hitting coach of the Braves (just a personal prediction). What's amazing about the trade is that the Braves essentially will, according to rumors, get Uggla for 5 years at around $60 million, which is the same yearly salary the Marlins were offering, and did not give up a single one of their top 25 prospects to pick up a 30 HR, 80 RBI guy who has more than excelled at Turner Field. To those who are criticizing signing Uggla long term, take a look at his numbers, only Albert Pujols has hit more home runs in the last five years and are first all time for a middle infielder in his first five season, ahead of Ernie Banks by 18 HRs. If the Marlins are ready to give away Hanley Ramirez, I'm sure the Braves will be more than willing to send Brooks Conrad and Christian Martinez or Peter Moylan to the Marlins. Good luck to you Mr. Jeffrey Loria. I can't wait to see Uggla put a stake in the Marlins' hearts in 2011.

AP Photo

Doug Melvin also deserves a genius label for his latest deal. The guy goes out and gets Shaun Marcum, a legitimate #2 pitcher, and then trades a few prospects for a true ace to compliment the young and impressive Yovanni Gallardo. If the Brewers had a strong catcher, they'd be straight out scary. With Ricky Weeks, Prince Fielder, Ryan Braun, Corey Hart, the emergence of Casey McGeHee, and Carolos Gomez, the Brewers are a preseason contender. Of course the Brewers gave up a talented but unproven Lorenzo Cain and a potential future phenom that is Jeremy Jeffress, but the Brewers also improved by adding Yuniesky Betancourt and sending Alcides Escobar to the Royals in the deal. The only positive spin for the Royals is that Dayton Moore proved to be a great asset in Atlanta and has taken the Braves' model of building a world class farm system with talent behind talent behind talent to ensure that the future is bright, but losing Greinke and signing Melky Cabrera and Jeff Francouer aren't exactly moves that get you recognized as GM of the year. For Mr. Moore, I hope I eat my words, but at least he won't have to face Greinke in the near future like Loria will face Uggla in Florida.

What other moves have been surprising this off season?

DESEAN JACKSON GAME WINNING PUNT RETURN (TECMO BOWL STYLE)

Brilliant job by the Giants kicking a line drive punt to the NFL's fastest player in Desean Jackson. Genius. While the Eagles were scraping and clawing to pull out an improbable win the Atlanta Falcons were just doing what they do every week: another easy win while covering the spread. The Falcons are the best team in the NFL. They have become the model franchise. Tom Brady and Bill Belichick look in the mirror and wish they were Matt Ryan and Mike Smith.

Video HT: Frank V at UHND.com

YAY OR NAY: "I JUST HAD SEX" MUSIC VIDEO

It's got some strong cameos with Jessica Alba and Blake Lively playing the disgruntled girlfriend roles and tennis legend/brat John McEnroe making faces but I just don't know whether to laugh because it's funny or just pathetic. Sandberg nailed funny with Justin Timberlake a few years back with "Dick in the Box" but "I Just Had Sex" with Akon doesn't have the same rip roaring laugh factor. Oh well, fuck it. With that being said I hope you enjoyed the video. God knows I built it up for you.

SORRY

Sorry for the lack of posts lately. I've been busy as shit. You know the usual? Drinking and passing out with my pants down to my god damn ankles. So I offer you these pictures of Yesica Toscanini who is apparently one of SI's new swimsuit models. Warms the heart doesn't it?

Hey if you are looking for some last minute steals on Christmas presents you should check out our Ebay page. We got Rudy and Montana autographed Notre Dame mini helmets, JoePa signed 16X20, Herschel Walker, Andrew Luck, Marcus Allen, Heisman stuff and other items starting at just $9.99.

For instance this Heisman Trophy Mini Helmet signed by 15 winners!

TWO UNBELIEVABLE WINNING SHOTS BOTH INVOLVING ANNAPOLIS, MD HIGH SCHOOL

I don't want to brag or anything but what is the big fucking deal? I was hitting these shots in 7th grade. I was the Larry Bird of Alpharetta hoops. Sure I didn't have a mullet or a rat tail but I could pretty much nail any shot from anywhere on the court. I could have been a contender people but in the end the sex, drugs, and booze won out when I reached high school. Ok just the drugs and booze but you get the picture.

MY THOUGHTS ON THE MIAMI AND FLORIDA HIRINGS

With the holidays in full swing and a newborn rocking my every second I haven't had time to reflect on the Will Muschamp to Florida and Al Golden to Miami hirings. Here are some rambling semi-hungover thoughts on both.

Will Muschamp: Right now I'm 50/50 on this. It could honestly go either way. I'm a little taken back that Muschamp is a UGA Grad and is now the head coach for their hated rivals in Gainesville but then again college football is a business. A very big one at that. Muschamp was probably the hottest coordinator/head coach in waiting. He was suppose to be Mack Brown heir apparent. Obviously it didn't work out that way and Texas was an utter disaster this season at 5-7. Muschamp couldn't take the blame because he was solely the defensive coordinator but then again I don't remember Texas off the top of my head ever having a dominant swarming defense. I do remember Alabama giving it to them pretty good last year in the BCS Championship game. I'm surprised Florida didn't go after Dan Mullen at Mississippi State. He would have been the perfect hire for the job as Urban's replacement. The last time Florida picked an assistant to replace a Swamp Legend it ended in disaster with two words that are now considered offensive in Gainesville: Ron Zook. I'm not saying Muschamp is the next Zook but I think Florida took a gamble giving a head coaching job for as high of a profile job as it currently is to a guy who has never proven it as the main man. For all I know Muschamp could be the next Nick Saban and maybe Mack Brown gave him a lot of head coaching duties this past season to groom him.

Grade: B-

Al Golden: This has the same feeling of when Georgia Tech got Paul Johnson from Navy. Golden is one of the best young up and coming coaches in college football. In fact he may be the best. Personally I wanted Miami to hire Jon Gruden because it was a sexy hire and it would have brought some flash and attention back to Coral Gables where it has been missing since the early part of this century. The thing is I wasn't sure if Gruden would have been successful coaching the college game. I have the exact opposite feeling with Golden. Golden was rumored to be the eventual coach at his alma mater Penn State whenever JoePa decided to hang up the coke bottles or croak on the sidelines. Golden was a d-coordinator at Virginia under George Welsh after being a grad assistant at Penn State. He improved the Cavaliers defense tremendously while in Charlottesville. They went from 108th overall in total defense to 18th. Their scoring defense improved by 10 points using his 3-4 scheme. In 2005 he was named Temple University head coach. He was the second youngest coach at the time. Temple is god awful at football. Their history and tradition didn't exist before Golden got there. In fact they were 3-31 during the three prior seasons before Golden arrived. He quickly turned it around with a 4-8 record in 2006 and then a 5-7 record in 2007. It might not seem a lot but already he had tripled their win total in two seasons. By his fourth season he got Temple to a bowl game with a 9-4 record and then this season led them to a 8-4 season. This was unheard of at Temple. Now in Miami I fully expect him to take advantage of the great recruiter he already was and put a border around all the South Florida recruits. Miami is already loaded with talent and Golden should be able to do what Randy Shannon couldn't do: win games. Lots of them. Miami better enjoy these next few seasons because it could be short especially if Golden does eventually go back to Happy Valley to replace JoePa. As much as I don't like Miami I'm looking forward to them winning again. College Football needs a good villian. A "CONVICT" if you say so. Golden will do great things in Coral Gables.

Grade: A++

FanPHuckingTastic

(AP Photo/Jeff Chiu)

I think I crapped myself when the news broke last night. Cliff Lee to the Phils may have created the best pitching rotation since, well since baseball was invented. Four of the top four pitchers now pitch for the same team. I'm being a little dramatic, but still. This move goes back to the Braves model of overloading a team with pitching to ensure the win. The difference is the Phillies have one of the most potent offenses in baseball. Ryan Howard, Chase Utley, Jimmy Rollins, Shane Victorino, and future superstar Dominic Brown to go with that rotation is simply unbelievable. I have to admit I did smile at the huge middle finger the Phillies just gave to the Yankees, but then realized the Braves are no longer the favorite to win the NL East and decided to throw up immediately. Is anyone else's head still spinning?!?!?

Let's look at this realistically. The Phillies rotation is simply amazing, but do the Braves still have a shot without adding a single player to their already tough line up? My answer may be a bit of a stretch, but yes. The Braves have a pretty solid pitching rotation themselves. Tim Hudson enjoyed a career season last year and has been a true ace since his days in Oakland, Derek Lowe remains a consistent top of the rotation guy, Jair Jurrjens (excluding injuries) has proven to be a young stud, and Tommy Hanson, the future ace of the staff, anchoring the rotation is not a pitching rotation to laugh at. If you look at our fifth starter, Mike Minor, I would be willing to argue that the Braves may have the second best rotation in baseball.

Further, if Chipper comes back healthy, a line up featuring Prado, Heyward, Chipper, McCann, Uggla, and Gonzo is not exactly a line up to take for granted. That's not even including a glimmer of hope that Freeman lives up to half of his billing. If you look at the possibility of McClouth returning to form or Schafer living up to expectations, the Braves 1 - 8 batters will be just as deadly as the Phillies.

Now let's consider the bullpen. There isn't a better bullpen in baseball than the Atlanta Braves. With Kimbrel and Venters anchoring and Marek coming up this year, the future still looks bright. The only thing the Braves could do is trade for an establish young center fielder or 3rd baseman, or better yet, talk Billy Wagner out of retirement.

If all other reasoning fails, the Braves only have to play the Phillies 15 times next season. I'll take 147 - 15 any year! Leave some comments and let me know what you think!

JOE PATERNO CAN'T HEAR YOU!

Joe Paterno apparently has a hard time hearing things. Try not to laugh while listening to this Steve Duemig podcast.

Big HT to UseDave

Legends and Leaders... LOLOL

The Big Ten's new logo (apparently)

I'm rolling on the floor. Excuse my SEC elitism, but really?!?!? The Big Ten can't even count the number of teams in the conference before the shake up, now they are splitting into two divisions and naming them "Legends" and "Leaders"? How about "Has Beens" and "Have Nots".

There has never been a conference more underachieving than the Big Ten. With names like Ohio
State, Penn State, Michigan, and Michigan State, you would think you'd be staring at powerhouse after powerhouse. Reality is that the rest of the nation looks at the Big Ten like a fun house. Let's face it, Joe Paterno is old, there's no other way to describe him, he's a figure head, Jim Tressell's nickname is "The Vest". Really?!?! What kind of Stan Lee character would "The Vest" be? I can only imagine an old guy in a Mr. Rogers sweater vest killing the world with kindness. Rich Rodriguez is no "Leader", much less a "Legend", unless you look at his epic fall from grace since being the "feel good" WVU coach who learned how to win. Little did we know, that too was all a scam.

The Big Ten hasn't been relevant in years. Some of you may argue that Ohio State is a powerhouse, but Ohio State plays a lower strength of schedule than Boise State who they were criticizing. Let's be realistic sports fans, the Big Ten is no longer Big and hasn't been Ten in years. Who's go two thumbs and still can't figure out why in the hell the Big Ten is still going to be called the Big Ten?!?!? THIS GUY!

Before I get too much backlash from the Big Ten fans of the world, please, go win a real game. Stop bragging about Ohio State never losing a game to a team from the state of Ohio. Seriously, the rest of the planet is over it.

Muschamp's a GAY-tor!!!

Photo Courtesy of Getty Images

Wow!?!?! What else do you say?!?! Will Muschamp, the ex-UGA safety and coach-in-waiting from the Texas Longhorns is succeeding Urban Meyer at Florida. While Muschamp deserves a pat on the back, I have to admit, I'm sad to see our two biggest rivals, yes I'm omitting GA Tech from the title of "biggest rival" until they learn how to beat UGA, coached by UGA grads. While it has to say something about the distinction of the UGA pedigree, Derek Dooley and Will Muschamp are now frienemies and Florida's Assistant AD is now UGA's AD... CRAZY TIMES!!!

To scare me even more, there have been rumors that Muschamp is going to pull Kirby Smart from Alabama. I'm in no way advocating for Richt to leave, but Smart is my one hope for UGA's next coach if Richt is not around in the next couple of years. While pulling Smart would be a genius move by Muschamp and Florida, I'm praying they can't pull it off.

It's going to be interesting to see a shift in mind set from offense to defense for the Gators. Florida has the atheletes, the recruiting base, and a hell of a recruiter as their head coach. The Gators are going to stay scary good for a long time if things work out. I'm not sold on the idea of "hot assistants" being able to perform at head coach consistently, but if anyone can do it, Muschamp can. The good news is that even the best head coaches have issues in their first year and with a shift in mind set and a new coaching staff being brought in, next year may be another tough year for Florida. The bad news for Dawgs fans like me, Florida's sun is still shining and it's going to shine brightly for years to come.

Stokesypants... YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BOY!

Yes, this blog is a sports blog, but every once in a while you are inspired and you have to share. A cheap promotion, maybe, a shameless promotion, definitely, but my boys deserve some props. Atlanta's own Stokeswood has been tearing it up in Atlanta for a few years now and while they are now tearing down Miami on a monthly basis, New York every once in a while, and the rest of the globe soon enough, Ole Stokesypants is stopping by their hometown of Newnan to do a show at the Brickhouse on Friday night. Anyone who reads this blog knows I have no shame in plugging whatever I damn well please so if you are into great music and want to have a great time in the Atlanta area, come check out Stokeswood Friday night. Trust me, it'll be well worth the drive and you can even poke fun at my "ridiculous" college picks to my face.

Until Friday, check out Stokeswood online at stokeswood.net, on iTunes, and soon to be in your hearts. Check out a couple previews of the guys rocking out, don't know about you, but my fist is pumping as you're reading this...