Texas A&M SECedes

Finally. I've been sick and tired listening to the talking heads on the sports radio blabber about Texas A&M leaving the Big 12 conference without anything actually happening. It's been like watching our Congress slowly grabass each others manpieces and talk about nothing or get anything accomplished. Now finally we have concrete proof that Texas A&M is going to the SEC Conference to play big boy football.

So the question is why the fuck would the Aggies, who are a perennial middle of the road Big 12 team, leave for a conference where they will get their asses kicked? Because make no mistake the Aggies are going to get curb stomped trying to play with the Big Boys in the SEC. It's going to happen. It will be ugly. And the answer in case you are wondering sunshine is because they are sick of being Texas whipping boy.

For shame Aggie Nation. So you got your feelings hurt by the Longhorns. Why don't you man the fuck up and try to beat their asses instead of running for the money? I thought you were home of the 12th Man and those big ass bonfires and those maroon Canadian Mounties you call corps of cadets.

I guess I'm suppose to say this is good for the SEC Conference but honestly I don't give a shit. I don't care about market share and revenue coming into their fucking conference. I just want to see football and adding the Aggies doesn't make me hard. Hell it doesn't even make it move. Schools like LSU, Alabama, Florida, etc. are going to use and abuse their agricultural and mechanical college of candy ass football.

Listen I understand the SEC wanted to add another school west of the Mississippi but it shouldn't have been the fucking Aggies. Now they gotta add a 14th team but all along they should have been going for Oklahoma and Texas. That would have been fucking awesome. Instead the SEC will get some College Station herpes reject and probably a stinkin Hokie a-hole.

Well woopityfukindo. Now let's play some football!

Eagles Cheerleader Stephanie Smith Seems Friendly While Eating Cupcakes in Her Underwear

I'm just going to ignore that ridiculous contract the Philadelphia Eagles gave to Michael Vick yesterday and instead focus on one of their cheerleaders. Apparently a good day for Stephanie Smith is eating cupcakes while jumping around in your underwear. Shit. Who am I to argue?

Via CrossingBroad

Aaron Rodgers With The UItimate 70's Porn Stache

If I could grow some decent facial hair I think I would probably go the Aaron Rodgers route. Just full on porn mustache. Men respect it. Females knees go weak when they see it. The power of the porn stache is all encompassing.

Via TerezOwens

Cubs Fan Taking a Fall

Tiger Woods: "The Guy is Human...He's Not Going To Fuck Forever!"

Kevin Youkilis and Biz Markie Tearing It Up For a Car Dealership

Holy shit it's great to see Biz Markie tearing it up the old classic. If you are Kevin Youkilis how do you not break out laughing? I mean shit there is no possible way I would be able to hold it in without breaking a blood vessel.

Anyways buy a YOUK! Shirt. It's been like 10 years since I've sold a baseball shirt and my kid's diapers don't pay for themselves.


Video via HotClicks

Friday Funbags

GIFSoup


GIFSoup

Notre Dame vs Michigan Coke Supermarket Display

Absolutely brilliant display here. I've seen some impressive beer and soda displays in my time but this by far crushes all of them. The Notre Dame shamrock has got me so pumped up I want to slug some Sprite now. The only flaw in the display are the jerseys. The supermarket needs to tighten that shit up and put some Ann Arbor is a Whore shirts in there. Class it up Coke.

Soccer Players Will Come In Your Face

See what I said Captain America. Soccer players like to "come in your face." Fucking gross dude.

Via TheBigLead

HOLD EVERYTHING! Lingerie Football League Kicks Off This Friday

2011 LFL Broadcast Open from LFL Films on Vimeo.

I gotta admit I've never actually seen one of these Lingerie football games. Are they live and uncensored? I mean I would think since it's on MTV2 that we are not going to get the accidental full frontal on some girl trying to strip the ball. I kinda wish Atlanta had a team so I could go see it in person. But knowing our luck the team would move to a bigger market like Winnipeg.

Nice Headfirst Slide Asshole

I think we just found the father of that baby thing I posted earlier faceplanting off the couch. I love the game of baseball but sometimes the people playing it just make us all look like assholes. This guy would be one of them.

Epic Meal Time Conquers the Sausage Fest

Bacon, babes, sausage, liquor, and a meat grinder. God I love me some Epic Meal Time. If there was a canine or two in there I'm pretty positive this would have been my heaven.

Earthquake Rocks East Coast!

From the sound of the social media world going off you would have thought Washington D.C. and Philly broke off and slipped into the Atlantic around 2pm. But it didn't. Nothing to see here. Move along.

NHL '93 with Jeremy Roenick

NHL '93 on the Sega Genesis is the greatest sports video game ever made. This isn't even up for discussion. And of course Swingers made it more famous with making Gretzky's head bleed scene. Roenick and Larmer were lights out in that game. Whoever was in charge of the rosters must have been huge Blackhawks fan because there was no way those two guys should have been more dominant than Lemieux and Jagr on the Penguins.

Anyways this reenactment with Jeremy Roenick was pretty terrible. So I'm going to leave you with the original. "Hey Mikey! Is he brown? Is he clean? I wanna see him!"

Dayne Crist Named Starting QB...Holy Shit WTF Is That?

I was going to blog about Brian Kelly naming Dayne Crist the starting QB for Notre Dame (apparently there were enough dipshits out there who thought Tommy Rees would win the job) but then I came upon this wonderfully annoying video on Youtube. I mean what the fuck is that on the couch? When it fell off the couch I completely lost it. I literally spit out my Moe's burrito when that thing from Goonies faceplanted. Is it a baby? An alien? The 3rd chick on Wilson Phillips? I have no fucking clue.

Notre Dame Full Size Shamrock Throwback Helmets vs Michigan for $99

I only have 5 left in stock of these Full size replica Notre Dame Shamrock throwback helmets. These are the helmets Notre Dame will wear vs. Michigan this season. Once they sell out they are all gone. Click here to order one for $99.

UPDATE: We also have MINI SHAMROCK THROWBACK helmets available for $28

Here is a little Notre Dame highlight video to get you pumped up about the season...

Another Soccer Is Gay Picture

Thank God Almighty the real football starts in less than 2 weeks. Don't get me wrong this college football offseason has been amazing with all the scandals and tattoos and whores and what not but I actually want to watch football now. The American kind. Not that gay shit that the rest of the world watches.

Image via HotClicks

Georgia's Pro Combat Nike Uniforms and Helmet vs Boise State

For one game against Boise State I'm okay with the Georgia uniforms but I'm not a big fan of the helmet. The best part about Georgia besides UGA the dog is the red helmet in my opinion. It just doesn't need to be messed with. But for one game it should look cool and I'm sure the players wearing it won't mind.

NEW SHIRT: THE INELIGIBOWL 'TATS VS 'TUTES SHIRT

You asked and you shall receive...The brand new, hot off the shelves, INELIGIBOWL SHIRT! Shipping starts soon so order yours today before they are sold out.

SPORTSCRACK STORE for only $17

Philadelphia Phillies Right Fielder Hunter Pence Is Not The Most Graceful Of Ballplayers

Listen I like Hunter Pence. Even though he plays for the Phillies I'm still going to root for the guy because he seems to always hustle. But holy shit he made a blunder here. Never mind he runs like he has cerebral palsy Hunter just flat out had a brain fart here. By the way it wouldn't kill the Phillies to go on an extended losing streak sometime soon.



Video via Deadspin