Jameis Winston Holds A Press Conference To Talk About His Suspension for Screaming "F*#K Her Right in the P&ssy"

Jameis Winston has a shiny new National Title ring and a Heisman Trophy but apparently he has never gotten what most of us have: common sense.  Yesterday Winston got on top of a cafeteria table in front of hundreds of his fellow students at FSU and shouted multiple times "FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY!"  Pretty hilarious coming from a guy who was accused of rape less than a year ago and got caught stealing crabs in Publix.  Remarkably he has never missed any football game action from the first two offenses but head coach Jimbo Fisher had enough today and suspended his immature star QB for the first half against Clemson this Saturday.

And unfortunately for FSU fans Winston decided to have a press conference to talk about his suspension.  You can go to Seminoles.com and listen to it.  I must warn you though it is hard to decipher what exactly Jameis is saying.  Here is how I felt after listening to Jameis rambling press conference:



Mr. Winston what you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things i have ever heard.
At no point in your rambling incoherent response were you even close to anything that could
be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. 

Giancarlo Stanton's Face Looks Good To Go

Yeah I guess a fastball to the face does tend to leave a mark.

I think it looks great personally.  I can't really see anything.  Ship shape!

HeismanPundit Has Everett Golson in his Top 5 Heisman Trophy Watch List

Week 3 of the HeismanPundit.com Heisman Watch has a familiar face entering at #4...

4. Everett Golson, SO, QB, Notre Dame

Golson continues to play at a high level as Notre Dame moved to 3-0 after beating Purdue, 30-14. He threw for 259 yards and two touchdowns and added 56 yards and a touchdown on the ground. He’s off to a great start, but circle October 4 (Stanford) and October 18 (Florida State) on the calendar. Those dates will be Golson’s Heisman proving ground.

Season Stats: 62 of 92, 780 yards, 64.6%, 7 TDs, 0 INTs, 156.8 rating, 83 rush yards, 4 TDs.

Season Pace: 3,120 passing yards, 28 TDs, 332 rushing yards, 16 TDs.

No argument here.  3 weeks into the season and Golson has gone from Heisman outsider to one of the favorites just behind Marcus Mariota, Todd Gurley, and Nick Marshall.  If and it's a big IF Notre Dame goes undefeated during the regular season and Golson puts up anything close to those season pace stats of 44 TDs it doesn't matter what those other 3 guys do in front of him.  Golson will win the Heisman because it's a national program and voters are more inclined to vote for someone out of their region but then you got Gurley and Marshall splitting the vote in the Southeast, Mariota winning the Northwest but then you got the whole rest of the country voters leaning toward Golson.

Of course we still get 9 games to go and anything can happen.  This is college football after all.

Bovada SportsBook has Golson at 10/1 odds which is also 4th among betting favorites behind Mariota, Gurley, and Texas A&M's Kenny Hill.

LSU Looks Like a Fun Place to Drunk Make Out and Watch Brawls

Young drunk love is the best.  There's nothing better than just totally making out with some girl at a football game.  And to top it all off while sucking face hammered you stumble onto some fellow LSU coeds who for some bizarre reason are sitting there trying to watch a football game.  Losers!  It's make out time.

But that's not the only shits and giggles that goes on during LSU football games.  Before kickoff you can tailgate with your favorite douche frat boy.  Just don't dare wear anything other than a white dress up shirt or you could get pummeled.  How dare you wear purple to a LSU football game!



I love the look on that guy's face.  He is just like damn, white people be crazy.

Brand New "Hey Michigan Who's Chicken Now?" Rivalry Score 2014 Shirts

The two winningest college football programs in history met for the final time this past Saturday.  

Michigan head coach Brady Hoke called Notre Dame "chicken" for not extending the rivalry past 2014.  Notre Dame responded by laying an absolute ass whooping to scUM 37*-0 (It was 37 points because we all know that last Devin Gardner INT returned for a TD should have counted) during a rowdy South Bend fall night.  

The series may be over but now you can get the last laugh with this classic t-shirt that comes in both IRISH GREEN and NAVY.

Order Here!

HEI5THEMAN Shirt

After last night's electrifying prime time performance vs the Skunk Bears I figured this guy needed some help on his campain.  So let's get the ball rolling here with the new HE I5 THE MAN SHIRTS.

These soft navy Hanes tagless blend cotton poly shirts are instant classics and are bound to get people talking about #5 for the blue and gold.  Let's get ESPN talking about our QB Irish Nation!

Click Here to Buy!

Kenny Trill Shirts Now Available For Sale

Get the one and only Kenny Trill Shirt by pre ordering here!

You saw him destroy the Cocks while writing his name in the record books during his first start in the nation's toughest conference in the SEC.  Now you can order the official Kenny Trill shirt!

A portion of all sales will go to the American Cancer Society.

Auburn QB Nick Marshall Post Game Interviews Are Always Clear and Precise

I think it goes without saying but Auburn QB Nick Marshall is clearly a Communications Major.  Could you even imagine being the sideline reporter and your job at the end was to dialect one Nick Marshall?  We are going to need some help with this guy.  Can anybody help?  Here we go...



I play da football with da coach and something something peanut butter bread...



If the SEC ever does a "home of the student-athlete" ad it must include one Nick Marshall.  He's got Rhodes Scholar written all over his confused face.

Lingerie Football Is Now Officially More Entertaining Than The NFL

See this is what happens when you start letting women out of the kitchen.  They start to do crazy things like vote, drive, get upper management jobs and now they are coming for you NFL.  The No Fun League better watch their ass because the Lingerie League has some bad women ready to fight to the death.  I would like to see Ray Rice lay his hands on one of these girls.  Actually Roger Goodell would probably reduce his suspension if that happened.

USC Cornerback Josh Shaw Is A Hero, Oh Wait, No He's Not

Remember the old catchphrase "You Can't Spell Trojans without O.J" well it looks like captain Josh Shaw is taking one out of the old Simpson playbook and is caught in a lie about saving a family member.  On Sunday night news broke that returning senior Shaw was hurt because he had to jump off a balcony to save his 7-year-old nephew from drowning.  In the process of spraining both ankles news outlets across the nation including USC's own athletic department were quick to point out that Shaw was a hero for his deed and even had quotes from Shaw saying he would have done it for anybody.  Well the problem now is the story is not true and now it's being reported Shaw is a suspect in a burglary in which he allegedly got hurt.  USC doing USC things.  I feel bad for new head coach Steve Sarkisian.  No wait.  I actually do not.  Good luck with this cloud hanging over the program.

Michigan State's New Football Facilities Look Incredible

Just a year after coming off their best season in 40 plus years Michigan State revealed to the public their new football facilities which will hopefully keep them near the top in the Big Ten.

 The new locker room looks cozy...

Via Detroit Free Press...

Today was MSU’s turn to show off a sparkling athletics facility, a $24.5 million, 50,000-square-foot renovation to the north end zone of Spartan Stadium anchored by a plush, spacious home locker room. The 15-month project was under way long before the Spartans won last season’s Rose Bowl, though that on-field success likely served to encourage donors.

It may not put MSU out front of that portion of the never-ending college sports “arms race,” but it eliminates the last glaring weak spot in MSU’s facilities roster — a decades-old locker room that was “an embarrassment,” MSU deputy athletic director Greg Ianni said.

Now if only we can find the secret trap door for Mark Dantonio's hidden stash of hookers for the incoming recruits.  My guess is the National Championship Trophy sets off the hidden door.  The good thing is none of the current Spartans will enjoy touching it.

Notre Dame and Under Armour Reveal the New 2014 Shamrock Series Jersey and Helmet

The official Under Armour jersey for the Notre Dame Shamrock Series has been revealed and it should appeal to the masses.  It's specifically based upon the Golden Dome that sits in the middle of campus is the iconic symbol of Notre Dame.  They look sharp and it's a good thing they are playing Purdue in the game and not Navy because we would have a ton of confused spectators including myself.

I love the helmet!  I've always wanted to see the interlocking ND on the gold helmets.  The texture of the Golden Dome incorporated in the helmet is a good touch.

What do you think about the new jerseys and helmet?

If you are interested in buying one of the 2014 Shamrock Series authentic on the field helmets or mini 2014 Shamrock Series helmets please contact me at matt@sportscrack.com for more information.

Johnny Manziel Gives the Redskins Bench The Old One Finger Salute

Real mature Johnny Football.  Real mature.

Honestly I don't know what to make of Manziel giving the Washington Redskins sideline the middle finger last night during Monday Night Football.  I mean did he honestly think the cameras wouldn't see it?  He can't be that stupid can he?  Which leads me to believe this was a premeditated finger.  He played like dog shit last night when he had the chance to lock down the starter's job because Brian Hoyer was fucking horrific too and he let the Redskins get to him.  Rookie move bro.  Gotta be smarter.  The only place your digit should be going to is road beef and under your center's ass.  Not to the whole world to see on Monday Night Football.  This is completely out of character for Manziel too.  If anything from the last two years we have learned Manziel is a very humble, down to earth hard worker who just wants his privacy while listening to his head coach on how to become a better leader.

Jordan Carver Has a New Treadmill Workout Video

I didn't understand a damn word she said but like I said before she isn't paid to be heard from.  Jordan Carver has God given natural ability and talent and it's our duty to watch and pay attention to this athletic goddess work out.  Let me ask you would you rather see Jordan do lunges or talk about Lebron James doing the ALS ice bucket challenge?

Yeah that's what I thought.

Keep doing you Jordan.

C'Mon Man: Cris Carter Whiffs on his ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

But hey he totally got Chris Berman right in the kisser.

This FSU Girl Wants To Rape Jameis Winston

God bless FSU for cheering me up on this shitty Friday.  While the proverbial shit is hitting the fan up in South Bend in which 4 Notre Dame players are getting suspended for banging a student advisor in exchange for doing their homework we have the always clean cut Semenholes showing their class.  Love it.  Do you FSU.  Do you.

Awesome "dicksclaimer" by the way.  I might have to start putting those on my shirts.

In Least Surprising News Notre Dame Head Coach Brian Kelly Names Everett Golson the Starting Quarterback

Via Irish Illustrated's Pete Sampson...

  Brian Kelly announced on Wednesday afternoon that Everett Golson will start for Notre Dame against Rice. 

 The head coach told the staff on Tuesday night and informed Golson and Malik Zaire on Wednesday morning. Kelly added that it's unlikely Zaire will play this season in any kind of packages this season a la Andrew Hendrix and that if he gets time it will be because of either injury or Notre Dame being so far ahead that they can play reserves.

Golson as you know led Notre Dame to an undefeated 12-0 regular season before a humbling defeat in the National Title game vs Alabama during his one and only collegiate season in 2012.  Coming off academic suspension Golson has gained 15 pounds of muscle while also working on his mechanics and footwork with noted QB guru George Whitfield in California.  By all accounts Golson appears to be a more refined product who should be able to put up Heisman Trophy worthy numbers in Brian Kelly's offense now that they have the weapons and system in place to do so.

Prediction: Golson has a tremendous season leading the Fighting Irish to a 10-2 regular season record and a major bowl victory.

BUY HERE

Oregon Releases Their "Color Schedule" For Their Fans

I have no idea but do other schools do this?  This should be mandated for all schools.  It drives me crazy to see Notre Dame Stadium filled with a mixture of navy, gold, and green instead of just whatever color the student body is wearing.  With this kind of before season planning on what color the fans should wear on that particular Game Day it causes little if no confusion.  Every program should follow the Oregon Ducks way.

Pirates Edinson Volquez Makes A Sick Back Handed Stab

Prepare the fucking jolly roger!  Yes it was a blind grab but who gives a shit.  This play by Edinson Volquez deserves a slow golf clap.

Supermodel Chrissy Teigen Got Shit Bombed Before Throwing Out the Dodgers First Pitch

Despite being absolutely shit canned and having newborn giraffe leg balance supermodel Chrissy Teigen still threw a decent first pitch at Dodgers Stadium.  Teigen looks and acts like the girl who just wants everyone to think she is just one of the guys.  This is cute and all till you realize she's being paid to be seen, not heard.  I've never quite seen the appeal of Chrissy but hey at least she can hum it better than 50 Cent from the bump.