SPORTSCRACK

HEY KIDS! I WILL HAUNT YOU IN YOUR DREAMS AND IN YOUR FANTASIES!
Apparently the Pittsburgh Steelers took a page out of Stephen King's "It" and decided to make something that would completely scare the shit out of little kids. Not only that but they gave it a porn name in Steely McBeam. So not only will kids shrivel up and cry the next time they go see a Steeler's game but they will also have traumatic experiences when they get older and start watching porn.

Pittsburgh fans will live in horror for years to come, whether it involves watching football or porn. I can see a young child crying while trying to watch Hines Ward run a slant pattern and decides he wants no more.

And we all know kids who turn off football are either gay or just want to watch a little porn. But now kids all over the greater Pittsburgh area will be whimpering whether making a tackle or tugging the one-eyed purple headed monster.

It's just not right. Where has America gone wrong?



Hey kids, want some candy while we watch football and porn?