My first reaction to seeing this picture of Barry Bond's infamous 756* ball was simply AWESOME. This is how the ball will look at the Hall of Fame in Cooperstown after fashion big wig Marc Ecko left his permanent stamp on it after he won it at an auction. The ball will go to the Hall but likely Bonds won't as he told Cooperstown he would picket them if they kept the ball the way it is shown above.
Fine. Fuck him if he wants to act all high and mighty. Personally I don't think he deserves to be in the Hall of Fame because of the shame he has helped brought upon the game. And don't give me the argument that everybody was doing it or he never got caught with the stuff. Bonds is a disgrace and the ball represents his legacy he left on the game.
AwfulAnnouncing brought this video of ESPN's Skip Bayless to my attention and I'm amazed the guy actually agrees with what I said yesterday in regards to Joe Buck. I've always thought of Bayless as some sort of clown with a mild case of retardation but now it has become perfectly clear for all these years: I am mildly retarded too. What am I to do with this life I once knew before I realized Bayless the clown and I actually share something in common? I'm completely shocked in regards to Bayless actually making sense of something involving sports.
Just a warning, if you see a balding 29 year old wandering the street while sobbing and talking to himself don't just presume he is some poor retard with a severe case of jerkoff syndrome. That could be me people. Help a brother out.
Thank you Puck Daddy for revealing these wonderful pictures of Paulina Gretzky, the daughter of Wayne and Janet Gretzky. Apparently Paulina is a singer who had one of her songs played on one of those dumbass MTV shows. I can't recall the name because there are so many. She even has her own MySpace page so if you want to bring out your inner Allison Stokke fetish and stalk a 19 year old then go right ahead. Hell, we already sent out a friend request so who are we to judge. I say kudos to the Great One for having Great Offspring. It's just a matter of time before this girl of privilege from Hollywood is flashing the goods for the paparazzi and we, a nation, will watch with love and admiration as her career spirals to eventually land in amateur porn.
I have watched a lot of baseball over the years and I think I can honestly say I have never seen a player foul a baseball straight to his face. I had no idea it was even possible. Wills Park legend Michael Barrett defied physics and took what appears to be a 100 mph plus Bud Selig signature special straight to the nose. Despite how awful this looks I would rather take a broken nose than a Mariano Rivera fastball to the nuts or a fractured testicle any day of the week. It is this reason why I dated only normal size people. You piss off a little person, or dwarf as they like to be called, and the only place they can hit you is straight in your junk.
The above radio clip is from ESPN radio show The Herd with the not impressed Joe Buck in regards to baseball and sports in general. Before I go off on Buck I must admit he does have some valid points in regards to the national past time. Yes, baseball is boring and takes up a lot of time if you are not interested in the sport. I don't expect everybody to enjoy watching the game of baseball just like I don't expect everybody to love it as much as I do in regards to say the movie "Braveheart."
Everyone is different and entitled to their own opinions. But the problem I have with Buck making these statements is the same I would have if Mel Gibson came out and said he doesn't watch "Braveheart" and thought it was kind of boring. Buck, whether he likes it or not, is suppose to be one of the voices of baseball. If he doesn't enjoy it then FOX should do the right thing and fire his ass.
Listen, I can't stand Dick Vitale sometimes because of his over exuberance and his shouting while he tries to give Coach K a mouthjob. But I do respect the guy because he seems to genuinely love the game of college basketball. Vitale is a great voice for college basketball and does a tremendous job of promoting it. It seems that Joe Buck is the exact opposite and has been handed this unbelievable dream job from his father, the late great St. Louis Cardinal's announcer Jack, and doesn't appreciate it. Literally the guy has been given a silver spoon his entire life with access to a game many of us can only dream about and yet he would rather shit on it as opposed to eating it up. Are we suppose to feel sorry for Buck that he would rather watch "The Bachelorette" than have to endure watching a complete baseball game?
I say fuck him. If he doesn't enjoy watching baseball or any other sport for that matter then don't expect to be earning future checks while you put us through another boring telecast. Buck has and always will be a wet noodle. The guy who was apparently horribly offended by Randy Moss showboating in Green Bay also is a "disgusting act" when it comes to baseball announcing. The guy can literally put me to sleep with his monotone voice. He brings back memories of 9th grade history class. My hope is one day Buck wakes up and realizes how good of a life he has and then just walks away and becomes history.
Go watch your Bachelorette you fucking toolbag!
By the way, DeAnna is so picking Jesse it's not even fair for her to lead on Jason like she is.
Oh my gawd people, I am getting so wet thinking of Sportscrack!
Listen, we are only half way through the season and already Boston Red Sox fans are freaking out about losing to the Tampa Bay Rays. There are still 80 plus games to go people. Stop being so fucking pathetic up there and learn to control your anger. Once David Ortiz starts juicing again and comes off the disabled list then your team will again be the dominating bitch they should be. Look, I hate the Red Sox as much as anybody could but even I see the daylight. There is absolutely no way this Red Sox team is missing the playoffs and more than likely they will win their division over the Rays. So put down your Dunkin Donut, take a deep breath, and take your finger out of your ass. Remember people I have money on the Red Sox winning the whole thing this year so if anybody should be freaking out it should be me. But I am cool and collective.
And remember to always drink a beer and love it. Don't throw it or spit it out or get mad at it. Beer is our lover and not our enemy. Okay, I will stop now.
It would appear the NHL and offspring are now out of the question for Molina. I feel for him. See, I play baseball and I refuse to wear a cup because I have been told I have really big balls. Seriously, my priest told me. Trying to wear a cup and running around feels like someone is putting my man pieces in a stranglehold, twisting them till they feel like they are going to pop. So one day I get hit on a wicked grounder that just nicked the nut. One of those where you don't think it hit you till about ten seconds later and your stomach aches and you start spitting uncontrollably. The point of the story is always wear a cup when you visit a Costa Rican brothel. Those broads are into nut shots.
QUARTERBACK Chase Daniel, Missouri-Last year Daniel was the Big 12 Offensive Player of the Year and finished 4th in the Heisman Trophy voting. He set Missouri records in passing(4306 yards), total offense(4559 yards), and TD passes(33 TD) while completing an incredible 68.2% of his passes. Chase should be one of the main frontrunners for the Heisman and POY awards and he has a good chance of leading Mizzou to a BCS game which they deservedly should have last year. With weapons like WR Jeremy Maclin and TE Chase Coffman at his disposal don't expect any let up in Daniel's numbers in 2008. He also is a booger connoisseur...
RUNNINGBACK LeSean McCoy, Pittsburgh-McCoy excelled in his first season of D1 football at Pitt last year running for 1328 yards while scoring 14 TDs on the ground. He also managed to be a receiving threat out of the backfield catching 33 passes while racking up nearly 250 yards and another TD. McCoy's yards rushing were a Big East freshman record and Pitt is known to use him at QB in what is called the Wildcat Package. If Pitt wants to get to a bowl this year under 4th year head coach Dave Wannstedt they need to let McCoy touch the ball at least 20 times a game to have a chance. With another great season under his wing don't be surprised to see McCoy jump to the top of NFL runningbacks for the 2009 Draft. Here is a comparison video to Pitt great Tony Dorsett...
DeMarco Murray, Oklahoma-The redshirt freshman was on pace for nearly 1300 yards rushing when he injured himself recovering an onside kick against Texas Tech. Not surprisingly the Oklahoma offense was never the same without him. Murray managed to rush for 13 TDs out of the backfield while averaging 6 yards a carry. A threat to score whenever he gets his hands on the ball, Murray also 2 kickoff returns for TDs and showed he could be an explosive back who could fill in for the departed great Adrian Peterson. Murray should have a tremendous season as Oklahoma returns all of their linemen including two who are All-Americans and a QB and TE who are top 10 in their respective positions. If Oklahoma hopes on getting back to a BCS Title game they will need Murray healthy the whole season.
FULLBACK Brannan Southerland, Georgia-To measure a fullback's importance to a team you can not just look at his statistics. You have to look at his whole game and how important he is to a QB and his tailback's numbers. Southerland is one of the most underrated FBs in the game and without him Georgia would struggle in their running game and protecting Matthew Stafford from the blitz. Southerland provides great lead blocks for RB Knowshon Moreno and should be a part of one of the best backfields in Georgia history with redshirt freshman Caleb King expected to make a push like Special K did last year for significant playing time along with true freshmen Richard Samuel and Carlton Thomas. If the Bulldogs hope to contend for a SEC Title and/or National Title Southerland will be an important piece to the puzzle. He also loves to destroy gnats...
WIDE RECEIVER Arrelious Benn, Illinois-Benn is a man among boys. Last year as a true freshman he played with an injured shoulder throughout the season and helped the Fightin Illini reach the Rose Bowl. Expected to be healthy this summer, Benn could put up monster numbers if he had a decent quarterback throwing him the ball. Reminiscent of Calvin Johnson when he had to catch ducks from Reggie Ball, Benn's talent supersedes the actual skill on the whole Illini offensive roster. I'm not trying to dog the Illini but Benn is just that good. If QB Juice Williams is smart which I believe he is he will throw to Benn at least 12 times a game. Good things will happen with the ball in Benn's hands and it will dictate how well the season goes in how many touches they can get Rejus. The kid is simply the definition of playmaker.
Darrius Heyward-Bey, Maryland-When I think of explosive receivers one of the first names that pops in my head is Darrius. Don't agree, well take a look at how he runs right by Miami defenders on a long TD pass...
Heyward-Bey is often double and triple teamed so his stats are not overly impressive as they should be but make no mistake the kid is a star. He still managed to have nearly 800 yards receiving last year and I expect those numbers to be even better this season.
Aaron Kelly, Clemson-The 6'5 senior was a first team All-ACC WR last year while setting a school record with 11 TD catches and leading the ACC with 1081 yards receiving. Kelly should be QB Cullen Harper's main target when it comes to red zone passing and with an offense that includes RB James Davis and CJ Spiller the Clemson Tigers should score a ton of points this year.
TIGHT END Chase Coffman, Missouri-A 1st team Big 12 selection despite splitting catches with TE teammate Martin Rucker last year, expect Coffman to put up huge numbers this season in Columbia. The 6'6 senior will be an important piece to a Mizzou offense which should be able to stretch the field with playmakers such as Coffman and WR Jeremy Maclin.
CENTER Alex Mack, California-A 1st team PAC-10 selection in 2006 and 2007, Mack turned down the NFL for a chance to lose to USC again. Seriously, he did. Mack leads an experienced Cal line which has allowed only 24 sacks the last two years combined and helped little guy Justin Forsett look like a big guy. This year he will be lead blocking for sophomore Jahvid Best who could be compared to a Cheetah with his track star speed. I think it's only fair for Best to follow the Mack Truck. See, I can play with words too.
GUARD Greg Isdaner, West Virginia-All 5 West Virginia linemen return and Isdaner is one of the best. At 6'4, 315 pounds the guy can punish defensive linemen and open up holes for QB Pat White and RB Noel Devine. He was a 1st team Big East selection last season and should contend for 1st team All-American honors this year.
Steve Rehring, Ohio State-Rehring is part of the Big Ten's best offensive line this season and also one of it's biggest. At 6'7, 335 pounds it would seem almost impossible for anybody to see over the mighty giant but he should be pancake blocking holes open for RB Beanie Wells all season. Expect plenty of gay Buckeye stickers on his helmet for ball fondling while masturbating in public libraries. Sorry, inside joke. Look up Carl Monday and Ohio State sweatshirt to get the joke.
TACKLE Alex Boone, Ohio State- This so called beer-guzzling bear of a man returns to Columbus to live up to his hype out of high school. The kid isn't soft but needs to show more of a mean side when it comes to blocking. He has the body and the skill to do so and his fat ass should provide plenty of blocks all season.
Eugene Monroe, Virginia-I just put him here because I like his name. It just kind of rolls off the tongue. No, but seriously, he is good and will be a 1st round draft pick next year. Mark it down.
Apparently the West Coast didn't want to be left out of the proverbial "drunk fans getting in a fight" rage that is going around MLB parks this summer. Here we get to see some California Angels (yes, they will always be the California Angels to me) fans get into a little shouting match with some gang members, sorry I meant to say Latinos, who were wearing LA Dodgers colors to show their affiliation...
Sorry, but the Angels fans just look like jackasses in this. The first guy walking down the stairs with the middle finger extended has a full beer and at the very end he throws his full beer up at the crowd as he ungracefully exits through the tunnel.
First off, beer is expensive and it tastes great at the ballpark. Never throw it at some other "dude" as the surfers say. Drink it. Pee it out. Then drink some more and repeat. Afterwards go to a strip club and throw away the rest of your money and cry in agony as you wonder why she would ever leave you.
You can just see the fire in their eyes which obviously permeates from the deep belly of their upbringing. This is what Michigan Football has become under the direction of coach Dick Rod. Some may say these recruits look a little feminine for Wolverine football but when you change the whole philosophy of the offense from smash mouth to spread offense there can be a period of adjustment. If you wondered why Terrelle Pryor chose to go with Ohio State then take a look at the picture above. Pryor knew to never trust something that bleeds for up to five days without dying such as those Michigan O-linemen. So he went with the Sweatervest and his ridiculously wealthy stockpile of big bubbas he has completely devoured on the recruiting front.
Michigan Wolverine football: Be nice to it while it is bleeding. Remember people, it's only natural.
Courtesy of AwfulAnnouncing comes this wonderful shot from Saturday's FOX coverage of Chicago Cubs closer Kerry Wood giving a friendly hello to the faithful White Sox fans. Those Cubs can be so cute and cuddly can't they?
I promise I have some College Football articles on the way but these baseball transgressions are too good not to post.
Apparently Boston Red Sox outfielder Manny Ramirez was inspired by Shawn Chacon's outburst in Houston and decided to take out his frustrations on the Boston Red Sox traveling secretary when denied a request for 16 tickets to a game in Houston...
Manny Ramirez shoved Red Sox traveling secretary Jack McCormick to the ground in an argument over Ramirez' ticket allotment. Several onlookers moved quickly to separate the two.
Ramirez had asked McCormick for 16 tickets for Saturday night's Red Sox-Astros game, an unusually high number for day-of-game. In addition to handling all travel details for clubs, traveling secretaries also take player ticket requests for both home and away games.
When McCormick cautioned Ramirez that he might not be able to fulfill his request, Ramirez responded by shouting: "Just do your job!"
An argument ensued and Ramirez pushed McCormick, sending him to the ground.
Of course the Red Sox handled it with class and dignity and did not discipline Manny as they agreed to wipe off his mouth and kiss his ass with Terry Francona's bald head being used as a buffing device. It's amazing the amount of shine you can get from those things.
I do find this hilarious as Peter Gammon's wet dream of a team now sits in second place behind the Tampa Bay Rays. Of course we will never hear a report about this Manny incident from Gammons because his head and ESPN for that matter is shoved so far up Manny's ass he could give a detailed report on his rectum with more accuracy and facts than a colonoscopy exam. It's this kind of shit (pun intended) that a player like Manny gets away with that makes all the good stable guys like Sidney Ponson and Milton Bradley look bad.
It's not too often you get to see two rival fan bases like the Chicago Cubs and White Sox join in solidarity to beat up one drunk annoying fan. But this past weekend's series in the Windy City proved that fans of opposing allegiances can unite to form a common bond: pummel some douchebag talking trash the whole game...
The Sox fan on the far side near the pole was talking trash from the beginning, so in the 4th inning he gets into it with another Sox fan when he starts talking about the guy in the Thome Jersey's "family"...then an old guy steps up and off they go...
A good minute goes by with no security, the guy gets owned by a bunch of cubs and sox fans.
See, violence can be a thing of beauty. I try to explain this to my parole officer all the time but he doesn't listen.
DEFENSIVE END Everson Griffin, USC-Pete Carroll has called this guy the most talented defensive player he has recruited since he arrived at USC. Griffen is a tornado on the outside rushing the quarterback and last season in limited action recorded 5.5 sacks as a true freshman. I've seen Griffin play quite a lot and to me he is the best player on the USC defense. Yes, he is better than Maualuga, Cushing, and Mays. There I said it. He got in trouble this offseason for physically abusing a freshman...
Tyson Jackson, LSU-It will be interesting to see how Tyson does now that Glen Dorsey is drawing double teams. The kid is physical enough and big enough to dominate opposing defenses but should see more attention this fall as they focus on him. Last year the 6'5 292 pound end batted down 10 passes and routinely made RBs shift inside instead of out.
DEFENSIVE TACKLE Geno Atkins, Georgia-Big boy Geno was a 1st team All-SEC selection last year as a sophomore and will be a clog in the middle for one of the most talented and deepest defenses in the nation this season. He finished last year with 7.5 sacks and 41 tackles and should be a high selection in the NFL draft when he chooses to come out.
Mitch King, Iowa-King is a returning 3 year starter at Iowa who finished last season with 10 tackles for loss and seven passes broken up. A bit undersized at 264 pounds, King uses his athleticism and speed to get penetration and should again be a force to be reckoned with in the Big Ten this year.
OUTSIDE LINEBACKER Eric Norwood, South Carolina-A returning 1st team All-SEC selection at outside linebacker, Norwood finished with 13.5 tackles for loss with a total of 69 tackles all together. He should team up with returning senior Jasper Brinkley to form one of the top linebacker groups in the nation. He also loves him some Erin Andrews, but then again who doesn't?....
Sean Weatherspoon, Missouri-A first team Big-12 selection as a sophomore last year, Weatherspoon comes back to Columbia looking to lead the Tigers to a BCS Bowl. Weatherspoon lead the team in tackles with 130 while also breaking up 8 passes. The agile and quick linebacker will lead a deep linebacker core and should be up for All-American honors and possible an early entry into the NFL Draft.
INSIDE LINEBACKER Brandon Spikes, Florida-A first team All-SEC linebacker last year, Spikes finished with 131 tackles with 14.5 for loss. Extremely athletic and quick laterally, Spikes is only entering his junior season and should be a force to be reckoned with in Gainesville. He had a bad case of knee tendinitis at the end of the season but should be ready to go with a clean bill of health come fall. Judging by his picture on the right, Spikes is about as fruity as a pop star these days.
Gerald McRath, Southern Miss-The returning Conference USA Defensive Player of the Year had 139 tackles last season to go along with 7.5 for loss. The Golden Eagles linebacker had a ridiculous 21 tackles against Central Florida last year and he will have his work cut out for him this year as Southern Miss had a coaching change in the offseason and return only 10 starters from a squad which underperformed last season. I wouldn't get in McRath's way even if I was his own teammate as this guy learned during the bowl game...
CORNERBACK Victor Harris, Virginia Tech-His nickname is "Macho" which might not be as scary as "Puppy Killer" in Blacksburg but there is no doubt Harris has made a name for himself. Last year he broke up 11 passes while grabbing 5 INTs and killing no dogs as far as I can see. Frank Beamer knows how to produce NFL players in the secondary and Macho Harris should be next in line after his senior year this season.
Patrick Robinson, FSU-Pure and simple, Robinson can be a lock-down cornerback for FSU and will be in the NFL. Only a junior this season, the 5-11 corner had 6 INTs last year and could easily grab 10 this year. In other words the kid needs to get his hands on some more balls this fall.
STRONG SAFETY Myron Rolle, FSU-Rolle came in with huge expectations and he hasn't disappointed but he has yet to really shine in Tallahassee. This should be a breakout year for the talented junior from New Jersey. Last year he finished 4th on the Seminoles in tackles with 67 but surprisingly did not have an interception even though his teammates nabbed 16 of them as a group. Don't be surprised to see Rolle get his hands on some pigskins this fall and quite possible a ton of Cowgirls...
FREE SAFETY David Bruton, Notre Dame-Bruton might be one of the hardest hitting safeties in the college game and last year finished third on the Fighting Irish in tackles with 85. He also had a team leading 3 INTs and is considered one of the best special teams player in the country. The 6'2 207 pound safety with 4.39 speed will be used regularly this season in delay blitz situations as Jon Tenuta will love to use a player of Bruton's talent. Bruton is the clear leader in what should be Notre Dame's deepest and most talented secondary in years.
Coming Monday: 2nd Team Preseason Offense All-American Team
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If West Virginia coach Bill Stewart ever needs a wingman I believe I could be that lonely guy in a bar helping out my fellow soldier. Stewart delivered this stirring pregame speech before the Mountaineers went out and absolutely knocked the shit out of a huge favorite in Oklahoma. The West Virginia team made a bold statement to Dick Rod in that we don't need your bullshit, have fun getting booed unmercifully in Ann Arbor next year you crazy asshole. We got our White and we have our Devine and with this we will rule this Fiesta they call a bowl in Arizona.
62 more days people. Bill Stewart waited a lifetime for this opportunity. After destroying Oklahoma it was reported Stewart was wearing this shirt in honor of Coach Dick Rod... Speaking like a true gentleman if you ask me.
With College Football a little more than two months away from kickoff I decided to start up the tailgate early and start bombing out some preseason articles. Everyone loves preseason All-American lists almost as much as Pete Carroll loves his shit eating grin. So today let's take a look at the 3rd team offense.
QUARTERBACK Pat White, West Virginia-Entering his 4th year as the starting quarterback of the Mountaineers, White is the most dangerous runner in the nation with apologies to Tim Tebow and Jake Locker. Last year White ran for 1335 yards, averaging 6.8 YPC and scoring 14 TDs on the ground. In the air White is impressive as well, completing 66.7% of his passes while throwing 14 TDs with only 4 INTs. White was a little banged up last season and it cost them a shot at the BCS Title game when he left the Pitt game but he should be 100% this season. He has Heisman dreams and don't be surprised to see him in New York for the ceremony.
RUNNINGBACK Marlon Lucky, Nebraska-Lucky has flown under the radar on some bad Cornhuskers teams but make no mistake the guy is one of the best tailbacks in the nation. Lucky is a fluid RB who can cut and hit a hole that would make Peter North jealous. He is also a great receiver out of the backfield compiling 75 receptions last year bringing back memories of a poor man's Marshall Faulk. Compiling his first 1000 yard rushing season during his junior season, new coach Bo Pelini will use Lucky early and often. He also is a triple threat with the ability to pass....
CJ Spiller, Clemson-Spiller is the Lightning in the Clemson backfield and even if his sophomore season was a bit of a disappointment I expect big things from him. Spiller averaged over 5 YPC but didn't nearly get enough touches last year as his teammate James Davis got the majority. Spiller is a threat to take it to the house every time he touches the ball and hopefully little Bowden wakes up and realizes it. While Davis will again get his touches, don't be surprised to see Spiller run for over 1000 yards while catching 50 plus balls out of the backfield while being featured in a Reggie Bush role. Hey CJ, do the Heisman on that Ho!...
FULLBACK Conredge Collins, Pittsburgh-Not much to say about big Conredge other than he is a throwback type fullback who loves to blast linebackers while opening up holes for tailback LeSean McCoy. Collins is an important piece of the puzzle for Wanny's team as it looks to build upon an upset of West Virginia at the end of the year and take the Panthers to a bowl game. He may not be as good as Lorenzo Neal but the kid knows how to hit people and should get drafted next year.
WIDE RECEIVER Sammie Stroughter, Oregon State-Slammin Sammy is back from depression and was granted an extra year of eligibility by the NCAA despite playing in 3 games last season. Stroughter might be short in stature but the kid has pinball moves and is one of the hardest, most elusive players to tackle in the college game. Expect big things as Stroughter will catch at least 70 balls while scoring 10+ TDs and also will be a huge threat returning punts and kickoffs.
Jarrett Dillard, Rice-Dillard plays in a spread offense at Rice and during his sophomore year he was a finalist for the Biletnikoff Award. Last year his numbers were down but he still had over a 1000 yards receiving while catching 14 TDs. They were only down because during his sophomore year he caught 21 TDs which included a streak of 15 straight games with at least 1 TD(2nd longest in NCAA history). Rice hasn't won an outright conference title since 1957 and there is a 99.9% chance they won't again this year but it's not Dillard's fault. He may only be 5'11 but his vertical jump makes him an extremely dangerous target...
Demetrius Byrd, LSU-This catch saved LSU's season against Auburn last year...
It took some huge balls from Les Miles to make that call but took even bigger balls to catch the ball in traffic the way Byrd did with the game hanging in the balance. We all know LSU has talent and Byrd is one of the best of them. The 6'2 senior should be a go-to target for whomever is throwing the passes down in Baton Rouge.
TIGHT END Jermaine Gresham, Oklahoma-Gresham is a vital part of the Sooners offense and is often Sam Bradford's outlet pass when everything else is covered. Gresham tallied 11 TD catches last season leading the team and was one of the main reasons why Bradford led the nation in passing efficiency. He tied a school record with 4 TDs against Texas A&M and was third on the team in receiving yards with 518. Gresham should be a finalist for the Mackey Award which goes to the top tight end if he can stay healthy and should help the Sooners back to a BCS game. His picture on the right is clearly going to be used as a motivational tool for Mack Brown going into the Red River Shootout. We got your back Jermaine.
CENTER Max Unger, Oregon-I'm sorry but the name of Max Unger sounds like some machine sent from another planet that was meant to destroy whatever it came in contact with. Actually that is a pretty good way to explain what Unger does to imposing PAC-10 DTs on Saturdays. Unger has been a big reason for Jonathan Stewart's success the past few seasons and should again open holes for what coach Mike Bellotti described as his best offensive line since he has been there.
GUARD Jeff Byers, USC-Byers came to USC with a ton of hype surrounding him as the #1 player out of the state of Colorado. So far injuries and position changes have tempered those expectations but 2008 should be a good one for the senior. He should represent these Trojans with pride...
Dan Doering, Iowa-This highly touted redshirt junior is ready for a big season. Iowa is known to produce NFL caliber offensive line with 7 selections in the past 4 years in the draft. Doering could be one of the best as the 6'6, 300 pound guard should have an excellent season while helping lead Iowa back to a bowl game.
TACKLE Ciron Black, LSU-The 6'5, 314 pounder started 13 games last season as a redshirt freshman while being named to the 1st team Freshmen All-American team and earning 2nd team All-SEC. The kid is a beast and should be a part of one of the deepest and most talented lines in all of college football.
Phil Loadholt, Oklahoma-Speaking of top offensive lines in the country, on paper it looks like Oklahoma will have the best thanks to JUCO transfer Loadholt. Loadholt was excellent last season and started all 14 games at left tackle earning himself 2nd team All-Big 12. The Sooners return all 6 starters on the line with a combined 130 career starts. Now maybe you know why they are a preseason top 5 team and Loadholt is a main reason.
Coming tomorrow: 3rd Team Preseason Defense All-American Team
Funny, I don't see a needle sticking out of his ass. Come on Todd Jones, you can impersonate him a little better. More slow paced hobbling running around the bases. There you go you Paul Giamatti you.
I vote for all ballplayers to do shit like this during rain delays. Either that or have some hot ballgirls in bikinis doing slip n slide across the tarp. Now that is good ole family entertainment.
An Ebay auction for Tiger Woods left over apple core from the US Open just ended with some dicknut shelling out $36,000 for it. It's not like it's a freaking Monet or anything. The guy from Phoenix who was selling the apple core has this description on his Ebay page:
I was at the US Open this Friday, following Tiger Woods down the 12 th Fairway, after his tee shot, he was eating an apple, 30 yards from his ball he discarded his apple core in the rough, I asked a photothe to kick it over my way, and he did, I never touched the core, Scooped it up in a empty beer cup, as not to disrupt the DNA, Ive got lots of witness'...all moneys go to my daughters college fund
He threw it in the rough. Fucking polluter! I always knew there was something wrong with Tiger. Al Gore is going to send him a very nasty letter about how Tiger is melting the Polar Ice Caps by driving around a Buick and throwing out his used apple cores.
So the Phoenix man basically just paid all if not a good portion of his daughter's college fund by something that might have Tiger Woods DNA on it. I can only imagine what a left over condom would fetch. If an apple core can get 36 grand I would say a Trojan gets at least 100 grand. Where is Elin when we need her? I guess I should go untie her and let her put the lotion in the basket before she gets the hose again.
For some reason JC Penny decided to remove this commercial because they thought it was controversial and promoted teenage sex. I'm still at a lost for words. Watch it and you tell me if those JC Penny officials are not just conservative d-bags for letting something so innocent be construed so poorly...
See, they just want to go to the basement for...oh wait...yeah...umm....that word has many different interpretations depending on what region of the country you live in. Nevermind.
Only a couple of more months till we get to experience the passion and heart of college football. If this doesn't get you fired up then just leave this website because I hate you already...
Just a warning, the majority of the posts from today till the BCS Championship game between Georgia and USC in 2009 are going to be devoted to college football. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Comedy lost a legend yesterday when George Carlin passed away from heart failure at the age of 71. He will not be forgotten. Thanks for everything George, and give them hell up there in heaven.
I never knew they had cheerleaders in LAX as the cool people call it. Maybe now some people will watch it. Nothing like taking a hard ball shot to get our attention.
It seems Washington Huskies coach Ty Willingham has learned the only way to recruit the best players in the country is by perfecting your stroke...on the golf course! Willingham is a notoriously lazy recruiter who would rather spend his days on the links than on the front lines of recruit's homes and schools. This was one of the main reasons why Notre Dame fired him.
It's good to see nothing has changed up in Washington for old Ty. I'm sure his whole game plan this season is to give the ball to Jake Locker. Don't worry about drawing up plays or anything, just "let him do his thing" will be Ty's motto again this season. The scary part is Locker is talented enough to perhaps send the Huskies to a winning season and a bowl game thus insuring the long nightmare of Huskies fans will live on with Willingham given an extension at the end of the year.
Apparently Kevin Millar and Jason Varitek had a NBA Finals bet going on with whomever lost had to cut, dye, and style their hair to look like Vanilla Ice back in the "Ice, Ice, Baby" days.
Here is Millar coming out for his first at-bat last night in Baltimore against the Astros...
"To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal" was Millar last night as he delivered the game winning hit last night for the O's. I used to listen to "Ice, Ice, Baby" all the time when I was in middle school and even had the dance moves down. Don't laugh because everybody did. Now my music selection is much more selective as I only listen to the greats like Hannah Montana and Britney Spears.
The Daily Dump is SportsCrack's review of the day before today while sitting on the porcelain throne, sometimes painful, sometimes oh so sweet...
Okay, it appears the "daily" dump is now becoming the "weekly" dump. I promise to eat more fiber and keep it rocking. Ain't that right Marisa?
MLB -How about that Orioles magic? The Orioles again came back last night, albeit a 1-0 deficit in the 7th, to beat the Astros 2-1 on Kevin Millar's RBI single in the 9th inning. The O's now sit 2 games over .500 for the first time since May 22nd and go for the sweep of former O's teammate Miggy's Astros tonight. Luke Scott, whom was acquired in the Tejada trade this offseason, hit a measured 423 foot home run in the 7th to tie the game.
-The Chicago Cubs experienced some discomfort last night against the Rays in losing not only the game but possibly their ace in Carlos Zambrano. Zambrano left during the 7th inning with a sore pitching shoulder and will have a MRI today.
"He's got shoulder discomfort, and we don't know more than that," Cubs manager Lou Piniella said.
After losing Alfonso Soriano to a broken hand the Cubbies can't afford to lose their ace for a reasonable amount of time. Oh wait, they play in the NL Central. Nevermind, Zambrano can go on a five week sabbatical and it still wouldn't matter. The Cubs are a shoo-in to win this division. Mark my words.
-You don't know how much this hurts me to say this but, fuck me, JD Drew deserves to be on the All-Star team this season. Drew has been on a tear of late and came up a triple short of the cycle yesterday in helping the Red Sox beat the Phillies 7-4. JD finished with 4 hits and seemed to thrive when hearing the boos from the Phillies faithful. You can watch his line drives at this link. After praising Drew you know it's only a matter of hours before he goes down with a case of swollen asinitis.
I'm not going to make fun of Kevin Garnett. In fact, I love to see players get emotional when they just won a championship. Garnett wanted it so badly he thanked his baby's momma. You know you want it a lot if you are thanking your baby Boo.
I wonder what Adidas reps thought when he shouted it out. I could see some short pencil pusher white guy with glasses running up to KG and shouting "No KG, it's IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING, IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING!!" while being pushed over by the mob and crying at the end. KG's tears were made of joy. The corporate guy's tears were made from the impending corporate downsizing he surely faced today.
Ousted Seattle Mariner's GM Bill Bavasi had some nice parting words for starting pitcher Erik Bedard during his press conference...(fast forward to the 2:00 minute mark)...
"He'll have a stupid answer for you, you can count on it,'' Bavasi said. "He'll have some dumbass answer.''
Wow, apparently Bavasi didn't do his homework before trading for Bedard. Look, Bedard was the same way in Baltimore. He hates to talk to the media and he throws a ton of pitches. He seems unemotional but these are things Bavasi should have already known before cleaning out their minor league talent to acquire him. Bedard isn't the reason why you got fired. He may be one of the reasons but there was the ridiculous signing of Richie Sexson. Sexson has been horrible and with his fat contract is not even an adequate first baseman. The Adrian Beltre signing backfired too. You passed on the chance to get Vladimir Guerrero and Miguel Tejada and instead opted for Raul Ibanez and Rich Aurilia. You gave Carlos effing Silva a stupid contract. You were the worst GM by far in major league baseball.
Don't blame Bedard for your downfall. Look in the mirror Bavasi and read the press clippings. You can only blame yourself for putting the Mariners in the gutter. And I have no idea what he means by "white line fever." Sounds like a fun supermodel party to me. Maybe Bavasi is still coked up because all of his baseball moves were as rational as a cokehead.
The Boston Celtics won their 17th NBA Championship last night by absolutely destroying the Los Angeles Lakers to give the long suffering Boston Chowderheads another sports championship. With the Red Sox winning two World Series, the Patriots winning three Super Bowls, and now the Celtics winning one I think it is appropriate to call Boston Titletown. Yes the New York Giants won the Super Bowl but the city of New York will be getting grief for a long time from all the Massholes who are reveling in this championship run.
First of all, let me start by saying I’m shitfaced. Second of all, I’m drenched in beer from people doing the champagne thing in the bar. Third of all I’m shitfaced. Having said that I feel like I need to write a quick blog before I pass out. Now I’m not one of those guys who like to say I told you so. So I’m not going to sit here and brag about how at the beginning of this series I said that the Lakers being a 2 to 1 favorite was one of the biggest jokes of all time. I’m not going to say that I told you the Celtics would not only win this series but they’d dominate it. I’m not going to say that I told you Paul Pierce was just as good as Kobe Bryant. I’m not going to bring up how everybody except the Stool overlooked the fact that the Celts were 25-5 against the West this year. I’m not going to mention how I was 7-0 in mortal locks this series. The bottom-line is that bragging about that type of shit just isn’t my style. And more importantly anybody can look like a genius when you live in Boston. I mean we fucking own this world! Honestly how many fucking parades can one city have? Congratulations Boston, we did it again! And to everybody who doesn’t like us. Fuck off and suck our rings!
And you know he is absolutely right. They own the sports world right now. No need to argue the fact. And yes we are all jealous of the championships. But in doing so they have become the new New York. Loud and brash and ready to tell everybody that "O'doyle rules."
This shirt is the new motto for all Irish people and fans this season when it comes to achieving greatness. We either Hughes it with our Shamrock 33 back or there is a chance we could lose it.
The shirt is $17 and is available at HUGHES IT OR LOSE IT which of course is an exclusive Sportscrack Tee.
Down to the final hole on 18, Rocco Mediate has a one shot lead over Tiger Woods. Going for his first ever major at the age of 45 a lot of people are pulling for Rocco including myself. But a lot more people are pulling for Tiger.
The drama continues...
UPDATE at 4:07 PM: Tiger just birded the 18th to send it into a sudden death playoff. Rocco still looks confident and calm while Tiger continues to be Tiger.
No nerves. No emotion. Tiger can't be human.
UPDATE at 4:14 PM: Tiger hits the fairway on his first drive in sudden death. Now Rocco, the 158th ranked golfer in the world, snaps his drive into the bunker and finally looks flustered.
UPDATE at 4:17 PM: Rocco still joking and laughing while he walks up the fairway. As much pressure as there is it looks like Rocco is having the time of his life. His lie in the bunker is not TOO bad, but then again it's never fun to be on the beach when you are on a golf course.
UPDATE at 4:19 PM: You can pretty much put it in the bag for Tiger. Rocco pulls his second shot into the grandstand area.
UPDATE at 4:21 PM: Tiger is going to hit his 9 Iron into the green. Of course he nails it on the green, now just needs to two putt it for another Championship.
UPDATE at 4:23 PM: Rocco gets a drop because he is within a club length of the grandstand. He pretty much needs to hit it within 5 feet to give himself a chance. No spin on the ball going into the green, he now has at least a 15 footer for par. Tiger remains stoic as usual.
By the way, Hi Def golf looks incredible.
UPDATE at 4:27 PM: Tiger just comes short on his par putt, maybe 2 inches if that. Rocco now has to nail his long par putt to send it to another sudden death hole.
UPDATE at 4:28 PM: Rocco misses the putt wide right. Tiger wins again. Rocco handles it with class and gives Tiger a hug. 14th majors now for Tiger. Jack Nicklaus continues to look in his rearview mirror, a Tiger continues to creep up on him.
The reason why Tiger wins these tournaments is because he is so mentally tough. It was something his father instilled him. I know this because Nike told me...
Who is this Tiger Woods again? Never heard of him but I think he has a future in the game of golf. Talk about clutch, I believe Tiger now defines the word. It's not often I get the chills when watching sporting events and it sure as hell usually never occurs when watching golf but this putt was simply...awesome! Watch the replay over and over and you can't help but get fired up after seeing Tiger go ballistic after squeezing in the putt on the 18th to send it to a playoff today against Rocco Mediate.
I actually wore red yesterday while playing golf with my Dad on Father's Day and the funny thing is he wore red too. If you don't think Tiger is the most influential and powerful sports athlete out there (yes, Tiger is an athlete) then you simply haven't been paying attention. Everyone wants to be Tiger. Just like everyone wanted to be like Mike.
Unfortunately I shot a 96 yesterday so I have a way to go. But I did have a few pars. (crickets chirping)
The Baltimore Orioles sported their throwback 1979 uniforms tonight and brought back the magic with a come from behind 9-6 victory over the Pittsburgh Pirates. A near sellout crowd at Camden Yards witnessed the O's storm back from a 6-1 deficit behind some timely hitting from Kevin Millar(pictured above), Luke Scott(monster homerun), and a cast of others to take the first game in a series with a Pirates club making their first trip to Baltimore since the 1979 World Series.
The victory deserves a tip of the hat to the guys wearing the orange, black and white. The club never gives up and they are a fun team to watch.
Go O's. I also love the fact the players flip up their bills in honor of George Sherrill, who now has 22 saves. I would say the trade of Erik Bedard is working out real good for the O's so far. The Mariners not so much.
It's not very often a team blows a 24 point lead on their home court to go down 3-1 against the hated Boston Celtics in the NBA Finals but the Lakers managed the impossible. There was absolutely no excuse for the loss last night. Tim Donaghy did not enter that door at the Staples Center so to speak. The Lakers just flat out choked and Kobe did his complete opposite of MJ by hitting only 6 of 19 shots from the floor while scoring 17 points. You have to wonder as poorly as Kobe shot last night if his meaning of doing 20 shots of the hard stuff meant he would only hit 7 successful ones. A performance like last night deserves the almighty Jack Daniels but for some reason I imagine Kobe doing Fuzzy Naval or Sex on the Beach shots with some young cheerleader who will wake up with a sore bunghole.
The Atlanta Hawks decided to give coach Mike Woodson a two year extension despite never having a winning season and having an overall record of 106 wins and 222 losses during his four seasons at the Highlight Factory. Um, what the fuck are they thinking? Woodson is one of the worst basketball coaches I have ever witnessed. He can't even draw up plays for a half court offense. The guy was begging to get fired all season with his team underachieving. And yet somehow making the playoffs at 8 games under .500 is a reason to give him an extension? Idiots I tell you.
Throw in the other curious decisions of the local teams such as the Thrashers deciding to keep GM Don Waddell despite the club never having the experience of winning a playoff game in almost a decade of existence, the Falcons decision to draft Matt Ryan and then give him $72 million despite never playing a down in the NFL after the Michael Vick fiasco, and the Braves going down the shitter with more aging stars going on the disabled list. Yet people wonder why Atlanta gets a rap as such a horrible sports town? They beg the fans not to show up with their idiotic moves.
The professional teams overall track record is the reason why Atlanta is such a huge Georgia Bulldogs and overall college football city. They give you reason to root for them because they tend to be winners and are enjoying to watch. The rest of Atlanta sports is not for the most part. And yes, I know the Bulldogs play in Athens but they pretty much own the city of Atlanta with all the grads living here.
So what could be done to remedy all of this ineptitude? New ownership. The Hawks and Thrashers are owned by the Atlanta Spirit Group and they simply don't know how to run an organization. Their decisions on GMs is horrible with both organizations failing to bring in top notch minds in their respective sports. Waddell and recently fired GM Billy Knight are just examples. Same with the Atlanta Falcons. Rich McKay was a horrible GM and his replacement is some college scout who already has displayed an ability to know...well...nothing. And don't even get me started with the Braves GM Frank Wren. Recently retired John Schuerholz was a genius at trades but his protege Wren was a failure in Baltimore and his decision not to add a starting pitcher halfway through the season last year cost the Braves a legitimate chance of making the playoffs. But of course bringing back Tom Glavine was pure brilliance to a staff that already had Mike Hampton who just finished filming his scenes for "Unbreakable 2" and the great but due to go down with an injury John Smoltz.
At least college football season is only 2 1/2 months away. Georgia should be the preseason #1 team in the country or near the top and Georgia Tech fired Chan Gailey and replaced him with Navy's Paul Johnson who should have Tech playing for New Year's Day bowl games before you know it.
The Daily Dump is SportsCrack's review of the day before today while sitting on the porcelain throne, sometimes painful, sometimes oh so sweet...
MLB -The Washington Nationals are such a miserable fucking team that even when they have dramatic homeruns by players such as Lastings Milledge to win games they manage to get in fights with each other. This time it was between Elijah Dukes (huge shock right?) and manager Manny Acta after the homerun. Mr. Irrelevant has the video...
Damn, Dukes just burned Acta with the "fuck off I'm not going to high five your ass" gesture at the end of the game. With the recent scuffles between the Rays players, the Red Sox players, and now the Nationals it clearly shows people in the East are going crazy with this scolding hell of a summer.
-Alfonso Soriano is now out 6 weeks after getting plunk in the hand and breaking a bone in last night's win over the Atlanta Braves. With the injury expect Mark De Rosa to be moved back out to left field and Ronny Cedeno to play more second base. The Cubs are still in first place but you have to wonder if this will be the catalyst for another collapse of epic proportions for the Cubbie faithful. Oh wait, we still have like 90 plus fucking games left, never mind about an epic collapse. Rick Sutcliffe has a new favorite color, it's called Erin Andrews panties...
Sutcliffe is a funny mofo and I hope he gets real healthy real fast. I met him at a bar in Spring Training down in Scottsdale, AZ a few years back for Fat Tuesday and the guy was hysterical and of course drunk as hell. He was with Bob Brenly and my dad and I started up a conversation with them and they were both great guys. Later on in the night Brenly had to pull Sutcliffe's tongue out of some 20 something year old blonde's mouth just to get him out of the place. God it was fucking classic. Sutcliffe is so tall it looked like a giraffe feeding his baby. Get better Suts, baseball needs more characters like you.
-Dan Uggla was having an Ugg game with 3 strikeouts against Phillies starter Cole Hamels(13 K's) but then the Phillies got stupid and put in Tom Flash Gordon to preserve the game. Cue the dramatics...
Walk off grand slam!!
COLLEGE FOOTBALL -My alma mater, Georgia State, has decided to throw their hat into the college football world and will be hiring former Georgia Tech coach Bill Curry as their first head coach today. The Panthers will begin play in 2010 under Curry and their home games will be in the Georgia Dome while playing in Division 1-AA. The state of Georgia has so much talent in football it shouldn't be hard to recruit kids who want to play in a facility like the Georgia Dome. Being an alumnus I might now have a reason not to say "fuck off" when the boosters call my cell phone asking for donations. And just a head's up Georgia State officials, if you want a good showing for football games sell beer at the Dome. Beer is liquid gold for college students.
-You wonder why I don't like Bobby Petrino so much? Well now he kicked off a Fairchild off his team. Okay, so Freddie isn't related to me because he has a year round dark tan unlike myself and because the guy beats his women apparently. Also throw in the fact he has athletic ability and decided to attend that hell hole in Fayetteville and...well shit, we aren't related at all. It's a big loss for the Razorbacks though as Fairchild was a starting linebacker who many projected to be All-SEC this year. Call them Hogs Bobby...
I'm sorry people, like most of you I'm tired of this whole NBA Finals bullshit but there is really nothing else interesting to talk about. Sure Griffey hit his 600th but it was in fucking Miami with less than 16,000 in attendance. There was no drama and we all knew Junior was going to hit it sooner than later. I'm not even sure what the point of this post is other than a ramble about nothing really. College football needs to get here fast so this blog can be filled with shits and giggles and articles that I actually enjoy writing.
My mind is so scattered with garbage right now I have actually rationalized that Kobe would be a cool guy to hang around with. I can only imagine what his leftover scraps would be like on the road. The guy probably has a rolodex filled with cheerleaders and young white girls only Bill Clinton could rival. I promise to start writing some decent stuff soon. A bottle of Tanquerey might be the answer but who really knows.
Sick bastard was all over the Celtics last night...
Jack Nicholson can now do blow off his 23 year old girlfriend's ass with the comfort of knowing the NBA will fix games in favor of a 7 game series. It's ratings magic and David Stern knows he needs to milk these Finals as much as he can till the teet is dry.
We got a couple of new shirts on the store page that are marinating and ready to be cooked and eaten by you, the almighty Sportscrack Tee consumer.
Both of our new shirts have a SEC flavor to them. So in essence they will tell you how great their conference is while destroying the Big Ten in a bowl game.
First is our FUGA shirt in honor of all the people who simply don't like the Dawgs...
Second is our Ole Piss shirt which brings back memories of my college days of drinking 30 packs of Busch Light...
Love them, caress them, tailgate in them, get in fights with them, do whatever you want with them but remember the only place you can get one is by clicking on this link.
Joey Harrington's career in the NFL has been one completely void of highlights ever since he got drafted by the Detroit Lions. Currently the Atlanta Falcon's backup QB, Harrington, who also happens to be the cousin of PGA Golfer Padraig Harrington, gets to spend plenty of time on the golf course smacking the ball around like defenders hit him while he wilts in the pocket.
Finally Joey Heisman has found his calling. Golf. It's amazing how one can become so good at a sport that involves as much mental preparation as golf does and no one identifies Joey as a well prepared QB. Now don't be surprised if Arthur Blank signs him to a long term deal upon hearing this news.
I agree with the Zen Master in it is "ridiculous" how some dude named Pow or Powe got as many free throws as the whole Lakers team. But you can't hide the fact that the Lakers played like shit for most of the game and should have stopped worrying about the officiating and focused on getting the ball in the hoop.
Yes, the officiating was horrible but the great teams overcome these things. Now that the series will be in LA expect plenty of home town calls for the Lakers. So no more bitching Gasol or Kobe or anybody else wearing the purple and gold. Play some fucking basketball and let's make this a series.
At 1-4 odds you would think Big Brown would at least place but no, the stupid horse finished last as millions lost money on the Big Shit. I don't get it, the horse dominated the Derby and Preakness yet couldn't muster enough to go an extra quarter of a mile and complete the Triple Crown. Luckily I didn't place any money on the horse because well, I don't really have any money. It's amazing what years of chemical dependency will do to your wallet and your social life. Anyways, the point of this post is to hate on the Belmont Stakes and Big Brown. The Belmont blows balls as a horse race because they have no infield. How can you not have an infield?
Big Brown will now go live a life as not a choke artist but as a stud whose owners will get paid millions for his offspring baby batter. Good for him. Is it sad to be jealous of a horse?
