MICHIGAN'S BIGGEST FAN
The dog goes by the name of Ann Arbor. What a whore!
Image HT: Barstool Sports
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
DRUNK JOKE
WHY YOU NEVER QUESTION A DRUNK...
I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:
A half-gallon of 2% milk
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice
A head of lettuce
A 2 lb. can of coffee
A 1 lb. package of bacon
As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'
I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I indeed had never found Mr. Right. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of me, I said, 'Yes you are correct. But how on earth did you know that?'
The drunk replied, 'Cause you're ugly.'
Joke HT: Kevin
JIM TRESSEL DOESN'T NEED YOUR HAND SHAKE MACK BROWN
The Sweatervest is giving Mack Brown the stiff Buckeye as he loses yet another BCS game. This makes it 6 straight BCS bowl losses for the Big Ten conference. Yeah, they suck.
Even Big Ten commissioner Jim Delaney admits the Big Ten is just not good after watching the Rose Bowl:
You look at it and ask: Did the players play hard, and were they prepared?" Delany asked. "Yes and yes. You know what? SC's a better football team. In all of the [bowl] games I've watched, I'm seeing us get beat by better teams.
"Then you say: Why is that? I don't have a great answer other than to say that these things tend to be cyclical."
No quotes were necessary after last night's Fiesta Bowl(DVD available here). The Big Ten still sucks.
Image HT: Deadspin
MLB HOT STOVE FINALLY HEATING UP
With the exception of the Spankees dishing out over $400 million for 3 players the MLB Hot Stove has been luke warm so far. That is until yesterday.
The dominos should start to fall in place for other free agents like Adam Dunn, Garrett Anderson, Rocco Baldelli, Bobby Abreu, Manny Ramirez, Ben Sheets, Derek Lowe and others. We still have another 6 weeks till pitchers and catchers report to Spring Training but the players and agents for that matter should be getting antsy to get something done. With every day passed the market and value in a potential contract goes down.
When a man needs a blowjob, he NEEDS a blowjob!
Okay, I am not a big fan of copying and pasting from a website, but I'm going to have to do it this morning. I used to work for TNT many moons ago, and Sir Charles didn't disappoint on the set or during the breaks. The guy is a giant beast of a firecracker, and is a super friendly guy. I thought this story was great! It just goes to show you that a man will do just about anything to get some good head!
The following was taken from-
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2008/1231081barkley1.html
"DECEMBER 31--Following his arrest earlier today for drunk driving, Charles Barkley told Arizona cops that he ran a stop sign because he was in a hurry to pick up a girl who had "given him a 'blow job' one week earlier," which the former NBA star described as "the best one he had ever had in his life." According to a Gilbert Police Department report, a copy of which you'll find here, police asked Barkley where he was going at the time of the 1:26 AM traffic stop in Scottsdale. "You want the truth? I was gonna drive around the corner and get a blow job," answered Barkley, who is pictured in the below mug shot. A cooperative Barkley also joked with a civilian police employee that, "I'll tattoo your name on my ass" if it would get him out of the DUI charge. Barkley, 45, was busted after failing field sobriety tests, and had blood drawn so investigators could establish his alcohol content. Barkley was cited for a misdemeanor charge and released at the scene, thus avoiding a trip to the Maricopa County jail. Barkley, now a basketball commentator on TNT, was elected to the NBA Hall of Fame in 2006. His 16-year career included an MVP award and a spot on the 1992 U.S. Olympic basketball squad, the so-called Dream Team that captured the gold medal. He has several prior arrests, including a 1997 aggravated battery bust and a 1991 assault collar."
Monday, January 05, 2009
EMAIL OF THE DAY
Subject: Ann Arbor
From: *&#til@aol.com
To: matt@sportscrack.com
Date: Mon, 5 Jan 2009 5:58 pm
"Ann Arbor is a Whore"? Don't expect any Wolverine fans to buy any merchandise from you.
I love these type of emails because it gives me comfort to know that yes, no stinking Wolverine fan will ever buy merchandise from me. I don't think I would have it any other way. And with DickRod now roaming the sidelines in Ann Arbor I wouldn't expect too many people buying Michigan merchandise in the near future. Oh well, I guess I should feel kind of bad since I did sell a few Michigan helmets before Christmas. Nah!
UPDATE: Here is a picture from this year's ND-scUM matchup from a big fan of whomever plays Michigan...
He got laid multiple times from St. Mary's school girls after this picture was taken. The power of the Ann Arbor is a Whore shirt is known to cause an insatiable desire in women.
FIESTA BOWL PREDICTION
Yet another bowl game without any BCS Title implications but plenty of conference bragging rights at stake. As we know the Ohio State University has struggled to put it mildly in the past two BCS Championship games against SEC teams but this year they get the benefit of being a big traditional power and put into the Fiesta Bowl although they don't deserve it. They got crushed two years ago in the desert by Florida but before that they had won 4 straight games in the "Fiesta" Bowl. They come in looking to prove they belong in a BCS Bowl game and that the Big Ten isn't as slow and pathetic as most of the pundits think. One of those pundits being me.
The Texas Longhorns come in with a chip on their shoulder after being bypassed by Oklahoma for the Big 12 Title game and the BCS Title game. They want to prove they deserve to be considered the best team out of the Big 12 and in some people's minds a win against Ohio State would stamp a National Championship season. Not in the polls or trophy but in their burnt orange hearts. After seeing Mizzou struggle with Northwestern and Oklahoma State and Texas Tech play little to no defense in bowl losses this game will go along way in proving just how worthy the Big 12 was in getting the unofficial claim as toughest conference in the nation this year. If Texas comes out and lays an egg with Ohio State blowing them out and then Oklahoma gets throttled by Florida like I think they will on Thursday then all those ridiculous numbers that the QB's put up this year in the Big 12 will look artificial.
But tonight I don't think Texas will lose. The Longhorns have speed and playmakers on both sides of the ball and they will look to harass and cause Buckeye freshman QB Terrelle Pryor to throw some costly interceptions. The Buckeyes will either win closely or lose badly depending on Pryor's performance tonight. If he can just manage the game like Joe Flacco did yesterday for the Ravens and not have any turnovers and let their veteran defense do the talking then they have a good chance. But I don't see a freshman QB in the big game doing that. Pryor will be a stud but he is bound to make some mistakes tonight.
On the other hand Texas QB Colt McCoy is going against his toughest defense of the year. The Buckeyes will be blitzing nonstop and will do their best to keep McCoy in the pocket. If McCoy manages to get out of the pocket with space then the Buckeyes will be in for a long night. His receivers including his tight end are underrated and can stretch the field. Texas will go vertical early and often. The Buckeyes will look to establish a ground game behind elite RB Beanie Wells who is more than likely playing in his last game for the Scarlet and Gray. I think Wells will put up over 80 yards on the ground but it won't be enough.
Texas wins in the desert behind a brilliant performance from Colt McCoy.
Texas Longhorns 35
Ohio State Buckeyes 20
THE GOOD WIFE
I think this goes without saying but maybe all women could take this advice to heart and revise their New Year's resolution to become the good wife. I wonder what John McCain would think of "The Good Wife" video. Let's take a look...
MY THOUGHTS ON THE NFL PLAYOFFS
First off I wanted to state that I thought all 4 road teams would win this week. Unfortunately I was wrong and it further proves why I stopped betting this football season. The first game I watched was the Atlanta-Arizona clash at the University of BS Stadium in Glendale. I almost popped a blood vessel at all the bad calls going against the Falcons. Literally the refs were giving the Cardinals reach arounds the whole game. Don't believe me well then take a look...
The Cardinals were consistently offsides and because of this they got a lot of pressure on Matt Ryan and stuffed Michael Turner all day. I believe the refs only threw one flag for offsides all day and the Cardinals took advantage of two big plays and two big turnovers to win their first home playoff game since...oh shit...ever! They get the luxury of traveling to Carolina this weekend where they will be killed.
I see Tomlinson pulled his annual Vagina clap injury and stood on the sidelines as his backup Darren Sproles helped lead the Chargers to an improbable upset victory over the Indianapolis Colts. Sproles who if he borrowed high heels from LT's locker would be maybe 5'7 had over 300 all-purpose yards and the little guy proved he has more heart and grit than LT has on one of his stained thongs. People will now claim Peyton Manning is a choke artist in the playoffs after once again winning a regular season MVP and then pulling lame with a losing effort in the playoffs. I would not argue with it. Besides the year they won the Super Bowl thanks to Rex Grossman wearing the opposing uniform Manning has been very average come playoff time. The Chargers now advance to face the Steelers in Pittsburgh and have a good chance of upsetting them if they manage to keep Philip Rivers uniform somewhat stain free from a relentless defense.
The Ravens looked like the dominant team in the matchup with the Dolphins and forced Miami into 5 turnovers. Chad Pennington had Ed Reed on speed dial all day as the best defensive player in the game had two INT's while returning one for a TD. The Raven's defense will need to be on lockdown again as they travel to Tennessee to face a Titans team that will put a lot more pressure on rookie QB Joe Flacco. As long as Flacco doesn't turnover the ball then I expect the Ravens to win.
Donovan McNabb, Brian Westbrook, and Brian Dawkins came up with huge playoff performances once again as the Eagles beat the Vikings to advance to a NFC East showdown in East Rutherford. I think who ever wins the Eagles-Giants game will advance to the Super Bowl to represent the NFC, or as Sean Kennedy calls it the Triple A of football.
Friday, January 02, 2009
KATHY GRIFFIN HAS A DIRTY MOUTH
And I think I like it. Yes, she is disgusting and she was doing a New Year's Eve Show with Anderson Cooper on CNN but you have to give her a hand for this smackdown she gave on live air...
Video HT: WWTDD
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
A LITTLE INSPIRATION GOING INTO 2009
Okay, so maybe your 401K went to shit like mine this past year and your house value went down quicker than Julia Roberts on a casting couch but not all of 2008 was bad. For me personally it was a great year. I got married to the girl of my dreams without having to handcuff her to the well I made in the backyard in case she said no. My favorite sports teams in the Baltimore Orioles, Notre Dame Football, and Atlanta Thrashers all managed to play horrible this season when I did not attend their games but when I did they won them all. What can I say other than I'm good luck! We finally got over the whole hoopla over electing someone with some brains for once and picked a great candidate in Barack Obama. We got some of the greatest, most courageous human beings serving in our military right now who deserve a solid pat on the back and a thank you. We got to witness one of the best movie performances of all-time by the late Heath Ledger in the Dark Knight. We also got unbelievable performances from Michael Phelps in the Olympics. The New York Giants won the Super Bowl thanks to the greatest play in Super Bowl history with Eli Manning alluding Patriot defenders and David Tyree catching the impossible with his helmet and hand. Tiger Woods fought through a terrible injury to seal another US Open win. We got to witness the greatest tennis match of all-time as Rafael Nadal edged Roger Federer in the epic Wimbledon Final. The Tampa Bay Rays proved you don't have to have all the money in the world and can still win the American League East thanks to good scouting and development especially among pitching(take a hint Baltimore). 2008 might go down as the best sport year considering all the brilliant performances in big time moments.
So maybe your team didn't win a championship or maybe they didn't win at all like the Detroit Lions. At least you are still here walking on the face of the greatest nation to ever be assembled. Cheer the fuck up and be ready to rock out in 2009.
Here is your inspirational speech going into 2009:
Here is to looking forward to 2009 when the Atlanta Falcons will take on the Baltimore Ravens in the Super Bowl. Here is to the North Carolina basketball team finishing off an undefeated season by beating the Tar out of everybody. Here is to Notre Dame finally getting their shit together and beating USC at home in a magical season that ends in BCS chaos. Here is to thanking every single one of you who come on this blog and put up with my rants and rambles.
Have a great New Years!
BCS GAMES START TOMORROW, WHY NOT GET THE SHIRT TO START THE NEW YEAR?
With the BCS games starting tomorrow I thought now would be a great time to promote one of our shirts. Our BC$ shirt is one of the most popular ones we sell coming in 4th in annual sales behind Ann Arbor is a Whore, FUSC, and Drink Like A Champion Today. I think this goes to show you that people really don't like the BCS and want playoffs instead of this bullshit system we have right now.
Here are my predictions for the BCS games tomorrow. The Rose Bowl again will be a home game for the O.J.'s. They face JoePa's State Penn squad who also only has one loss on their resume. Both teams would have a legitimate shot at a NC in a playoff system so I think this game might be a little tighter than most people think. The O.J.'s and State Penn both play great defense and the O.J.'s have at least 5 guys on their D who will be 1st round picks either this year or next. Their offense isn't anything special but I think they will pull out some tricks tomorrow and overwhelm State Penn with some reverses and tailback passes.
Prediction: O.J.'s 24 State Penn 17
The other game is the Orange Bowl. You have the ACC Champ vs. the Big East Champ. In other words the one BCS Bowl that really no one gives a shit about except for those fan bases. Virginia Tech is so damn boring to watch it's like trying to stay awake during a Harry Potter film. And if you like Harry Potter please just go away now or come back when your balls decide to drop. Cincy won the Big East which kind of like winning a pie eating contest. Sure you ate the most pies but it in the end you are still just a fat kid with shit all over your face, you just ate more shit than the other fatties. Honestly I don't give a fuck about the Orange Bowl and I probably won't even watch it. I hear Brian Kelly is a helluva coach and that Frank Beamer's growth knows how to teach special teams but whatever, I don't care. I've probably seen all of 20 minutes of film on both these teams combined so this prediction is as garbage as one you would get on the WWL.
Prediction: Frank Beamer's growth 17 Big Least 14
OREGON'S LEGARRETTE BLOUNT HURDLES OVER THE COWBOYS
The Holiday Bowl is known for having one of the most exciting bowl games because it usually matches up two teams that don't know how to play defense. Last night was a perfect example as the Oregon Ducks beat the Oklahoma State Cowboys thanks to this incredible run by Oregon RB Legarrette Blount...
Hell of a run by Blount but seriously, what was up with the safety on the play? It's like he decided to play grab ass for five yards thinking those hideous Duck uni's might be toxic. I know Nike is a global brand and people love it for the most part because they have Asian kids making them for 15 cents a day but can they please come up with a better uniform to represent the Oregon Ducks? Their uniforms remind me of the disco fabulous 70's and early 80's uniforms sported by teams like the Houston Astros, Pittsburgh Pirates, and Baltimore Orioles. They made you sick just to look at them. Maybe that is the allure of the Oregon uniform. Defenders are so turned off they don't even want to get near it let alone tackle it.
I also wanted to show this clip of St. Louis Ram's RB Steven Jackson hurdling an Atlanta Falcon's defender on Sunday. After watching the game there is little doubt in my mind that Jackson is one of the 2-3 best runningbacks in the game right now. He plays on a shit team but the guy brings the business 100% of the time he touches the ball and I personally would love to have a player of Jackson's ability and heart on my team unlike nancy boy Tomlinson....
Video HT: FanIQ
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
CHASE DANIEL'S FAMILY IS HIGHLY EMOTIONAL
The bat shit crazy lady on the left is the mother of Missouri QB Chase Daniel. She appears to be somewhat normal in comparison to her daughter, the girl in the middle, who had the look on her face like she just witnessed 2 Girls 1 Cup for the first time. And the awesome lassie on the right of the screen is Daniel's girlfriend who is looking forward to traveling with him while he auditions for scout QB jobs in the NFL. Missouri won the battle of the journalism schools last night by beating Northwestern in another bowl game I had absolutely no interest in and honestly can say I didn't watch one highlight of it.
On the other hand I watched about 10 hours of the NFL on Sunday because the games actually meant something. Starting with the Falcon's game against the Rams and then proceeding with the Eagles unbelievably awesome beat down of the Cowgirls followed up by the nightcap of the Chargers laying the River's lumber down on a terrible Broncos team to get in the playoffs. By the way, LT is one of biggest vaginas in the world. People love him but as soon as he gets a hangnail or his anal cavity flaps in the wind he comes out with an "apparent" injury. Man up for once LT and play like a leader you piece of shit.
Sorry for that readers, had to get it off my chest. Never been a huge fan of Tomlinson who really doesn't deserve his nickname. The real LT would do blow all day and then kick the living shit out of QB's whom I sure were doing blow too while murdering runningbacks like they were Ray Lewis in Atlanta. He deserves to be in the Hall of Fame. Tomlinson should be in the Hall of Roast Beef ends. If you don't believe me then why don't you ask his "action" figurine...
Video HT: Barstool Sports
Saturday, December 27, 2008
HAKEEM NICKS SECURES A GREAT CATCH AND FUTURE NFL MILLIONS
North Carolina WR Hakeem Nicks put on a one man show today against West Virginia in a losing effort on the field at the Meineke who gives a rat's ass bowl. But Nicks will be winning millions of future NFL dollars in April once he is selected in the first round after brilliant catches like this one today...
Michael Crabtree would still be my #1 choice for a receiver in the draft but the way Nicks uses his size and his ability to snag some difficult balls would make it very hard for any NFL GM to pass on. Especially the Detroit Lions. Seriously, the Lions are dumb enough to take another receiver. It's not even funny anymore.
Friday, December 26, 2008
MICHAEL FLOYD'S GOLDEN SHOWER MOMENT
It's always great to hear porn references during a Notre Dame football game. It's just a matter of time before the money shot comes along. Thank god the bowl curse is over and now Notre Dame can go into an offseason with the momentum of a bowl victory. Sure it was only the Hawaii Bowl but it gets the monkey off their backs.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
HAWAII BOWL THOUGHTS
No more excuses for Notre Dame. They have to win this bowl game. Hawaii is not good and for that matter either is Notre Dame but they should win because they have way more experience and talent than the Warriors.
Every position on the field except maybe defensive line they have a huge advantage in terms of playing time and talent. Sure it's a home game for Hawaii but it shouldn't matter. If the Fighting Irish can not find enough motivation to end a 15 year bowl game losing streak tonight and wipe off the disgust of a 6-6 campaign then they don't deserve to wear the blue and gold.
Man up Irish! Come out with some fire and get ready to knock the shit out of your opponent. Stop being the nice guys. This is football. Kill or be killed. Throw bombs to Golden Tate. Run reverses to Golden Tate. Do direct snaps to Golden Tate. The point is get the ball into Golden Tate's hands as much as possible. Stop fucking around with your opponent and show some pride and determination to be the best that you can be and go out there and win one for the Limper.
Prediction:Notre Dame 31 Hawaii 24
The bowl curse is finally over. Michael Haywood leaves ND to go to Miami of Ohio with a good taste in his mouth knowing the last two places he left their programs won National Championships (LSU and Texas) the year after. One can only hope the same happens for the Irish in 2009.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
ROY FIRESTONE'S THOUGHTS ON THE TEIXEIRA SIGNING
Just to give you some background information Roy Firestone is a huge Baltimore Orioles fan. He doesn't do "Up Close" anymore on ESPN but still follows sports avidly and is very passionate in regards to his favorite team the Orioles. Here is what he posted today on Orioles Hangout after learning Mark Teixeira was going to sign with the New York Yankees...
Look. You could argue that the O's shouldve ponied up another 2 million more a year..make it 16 or 17 extra million... but somehow I think no matter what, the Yankees would have gone even higher.
This is just wrong.
Baseball should not be run by money. The game should not be dominated by a handful of teams. And theres no way that four of the highest paid players in the game should play on the same team.
Think about that.
Four players on the same team make more than entire budgets of many major league teams.
I think I know where you are going. Well.. what if it had been the Red Sox or the Angels or even the Nats? Would that make this more just? Of course not. I find this whole execise despicable..EVEN if it had been the Orioles who signed him at that number!!
I will make a prediction. And it is not just mine. I think baseball will hit some serious financial problems and one or two teams will go bankrupt. Maybe more.
Most fans will resent the financial inequity and the inability to compete. Baseball could be villified for this.
I believe the Yankee franchise will be in serious financial trouble someday, perhaps in the not too distant future.
Its already unbelievable that it costs a family of four something close to 200 to 250 dollars to enjoy a baseball game at the ballpark. The Yankees have single game tickets in the box area that go for an astonishing 2,500 dollars.
This is wrong. This is an insult to the American sports fan.On top of that with this country teetering into an unemployment rate of 8-9% and maybe higher...baseball has got a lot of nerve.
This is a dark day for sports in America.
I couldn't agree more with Roy. I have this sinking feeling that we will have some MLB teams fold because so many teams are going to be strapped with ridiculous contracts that can not be torn apart. Paying a baseball player $20 million plus a season is beyond ridiculous. Paying one $15 million a season is also way too much. A player like Mark Teixeira doesn't sell tickets. He isn't a Albert Pujols or a Manny Ramirez or even a Derek Jeter. Those guys sell tickets.
MLB needs to adopt the NFL model in pay if it wants to succeed in the future. No contracts are guaranteed except your signing bonus. This way small market teams other than the big market teams can compete for free agents and not be afraid to get caught with a debilitating chokehold of a contract around their neck for years to come. The player doesn't perform up to their pay scales then they deserve to be cut just like all of us do if we don't perform to the highest standards set by our profession.
But whatever, it doesn't matter what I think because MLB and their officials could honestly care less. In the end the league will only fail if people stop going. I'm starting now by not throwing out my hard earned money for the MLB package in the spring. I can find better ways to spend my $169 for a product/business that cares less what the fans think. I will go to the games but only if they are free tickets or if I can buy them off a scalper for less than face value. I've been kicked in the nuts way too many times to not learn to protect myself from future ball pain.
THANKS FOR NOTHING TEIXEIRA
Thanks for proving beyond everything that greed wins out in the end. Forget about any boyhood aspirations of playing for the home team you grew up rooting for in the end all that mattered were the number of zeros in your check. Thanks for going to play for the Baltimore Orioles most hated rival in the New York Yankees. Thanks for proving beyond a doubt you are just another one of Scott Boras' lackeys. Thanks for the bullshit you will spew in a few days when introduced in your brand new pinstripes prison suit that you signed the contract because "you just wanted to win." Thanks for letting down the whole state of Maryland and proving you are who you are and that is a greedy, overpaid athlete who is too scared to lead a team on his own.
Thanks for being the bitch you are Mark. $180 million will buy you a lot of friends but it will never buy you loyalty or pride in oneself. So in the end thank you for proving to everyone and finally myself that you are nothing more than a gluttonous reprehensible athlete that is the epitome of everything that is wrong in sports. The almighty dollar wins and you too will win as you get booed for grounding into that crucial double play in Yankees Stadium and again booed unmercifully as your picture comes up on the jumbo tron at Orioles Park.
$180 million just bought you this for the rest of your playing days...
NHL HOCKEY AT WRIGLEY FIELD
It doesn't really matter if you like hockey the concept of playing the frozen game on Wrigley Field is cool. Of course Gary Bettman made the mistake of scheduling it on January 1st when many Americans like myself would rather be watching bowl games that really don't matter. The Chicago Blackhawks should have the homefield advantage taking on the Detroit Red Wings and hopefully like last year there will be a lot of snow involved. I've got a question and it's a serious one since I have never experienced a game in freezing conditions: Do they have to serve beer warm to keep it from freezing? Or do you just stick it up your ass and then dispense once needed?
Video HT: WithLeather
Monday, December 22, 2008
HORRIBLE BREAK FOR FRESHMAN SENSATION DEANDRE BROWN
Lost among the talk of the terrific trio of freshmen receivers this year in college football from the big time programs in Michael Floyd, AJ Green, and Julio Jones is the season Southern Miss Deandre Brown put together. Unfortunately his season came to an end last night in the bowl victory over Troy last night when he leg inadvertently snapped in two. I hope the young man heals quickly and gets back on the football field soon.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Friday, December 19, 2008
SO THIS IS WHAT $243 MILLION WILL BUY YOU
A.J. Burnett and his wife Karen(rumored to be an ex-stripper) supposedly wanted to stay near their home in Bowie, MD but then when the Yankees offered $82 mil all bets were off. C.C. Sabathia and his wife wanted to go back to home on the West Coast but then the Yankees blew out everybody and gave him $161 million. Two pitchers for $243 million who with fantastic seasons might win 35-40 games combined if C.C. doesn't blow out his arm on a plate of spaghetti and A.J. doesn't trip over a hangnail to the disabled list.
There is no doubt the Yankees are a way better team today then they were last week. But $243 million for two guys in a terrible economy bordering on the line between shitty and nasty? Now that is just stupid. At least tickets in the new billion dollar plus stadium will be cheap next season. If you want to sit in the lower deck the minimum seat is $100 with prices going up to $2500 per seat. Second deck starts at $75 a ticket. And the cheap seats in the upper bowl, in between air traffic and the Empire State Building go for $20. At least from those seats you won't be able to see Madonna's VD. Have fun Yankees fans taking your family to a ballgame which would make Disney World envious of the cash you spill for 3 hours of boredom.
THIS IS FOR GENE CHIZIK MR. BARKLEY
Bravo C-Webb for pulling a good one on Charles Barkley with the President Bush shoe throwing impersonation.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
BRAVES PRESIDENT JOHN SCHUERHOLZ GOES OFF ON FURCAL'S AGENTS
Current Atlanta Braves president and former GM John Schuerholz had these choice words for the agent of Rafael Furcal as told by the AJC's Jeff Schultz:
“Having been in this business for 40-some years, I’ve never seen anybody treated like that,” Schuerholz said. “The Atlanta Braves will no longer do business with that company — ever. I told [agent] Arn Tellem that we can’t trust them to be honest and forthright. I told him that in all my years, I’ve never seen any [agency] act in such a despicable manner.
“It was disgusting and unprofessional. We’re a proud organization and we won’t allow ourselves to be treated that way. I advised Arn Tellem that whatever players he represents, just scratch us off the list. Take the name of the Atlanta Braves off their speed dial. They can deal with the other 29 clubs and we’ll deal with the other hundred agents.”
“I expressed my great disappointment to him,” he said. “I watched as Frank shared with me the circumstances of his negotiations with Furcal — negotiations to the point where we increased our offer and he [Kinzer] then asked for a signed term sheet to be sent over. We never got that signed term sheet faxed back to us and we later found out why — because they took that offer and shopped it.”
When asked about Tellem’s reaction, Schuerholz said: “He was surprised. He tried to explain himself. He said he had nothing to do with it — it was the work of Paul Kinzer. I reminded him that [Kinzer] works for him and he has to stand behind the people who work for him. I told him I was making this official, and I was going to make it public.”
As much as I hate agents and some of the things they do in bartering a player's career why don't the owners/GM's ever hold the player accountable? Doesn't Rafael Furcal have some part of the blame on this deal? If he really wanted to come back to Atlanta I think he would have signed the papers and been done with it but they shopped it back to the Dodgers so he would have to have some knowledge of this.
I'm starting to worry that this shit is going to happen to Mark Teixeira in his dealings with Scott Boras. Teixeira wants to play for the Baltimore Orioles. He really does as hard as it is for some people to understand. Mark and I are basically the same person except he makes millions and millions of dollars and is a hell of a baseball player. We both grew up loving the Orioles and idolized Cal Ripken. In fact I believe we were born in the same hospital and our families are both from the Severna Park, MD area. We both went to college in Georgia and met our wives there. And being an Orioles fan there is no way in hell I would sign with the Red Sox, Yankees, or Washington Nationals over my beloved Baltimore Orioles. He could be close to home with family and friends and all the trimmings of being a local hero come home to revitalize a once proud franchise. And if the Orioles offered $140-150 million for 7 years then why would you take that offer and shop it to your rivals and go with those guys instead of the franchise you grew up loving. It just doesn't make a lot of sense. It can't all be about the money right? Tell me it's not just about the money Tex? Sorry, I watched Jerry Maguire the other night.
Anyways this offseason of baseball is making my stomach turn and making more disgusted with the sport as a whole. It's too much about shady agents and dumb owners and GM's giving players who aren't worth the money way too much of it. There seems to be no loyalty anymore and it even seems to trickle down to the writers like Buster Olney and Peter Gammons who think no other teams beside the Red Sox and Yankees should bid for players or think about going after the top free agents because those two teams are the only ones that matter. I'm sick of it to be honest with you.
If Teixeira signs with the Red Sox then I am not going to watch any baseball in 2009. I'm serious. There is no reason why the Red Sox are even bidding for his services. They have an All-Star first baseman in Kevin Youkilis and a great DH in David Ortiz so what is the point in adding him? Hopefully Teixeira goes with his heart and signs with the Orioles and then I can order my MLB package and go to the games and spend $9 on a fucking beer and $15 for parking because it's the "economics of the game."
Oh yeah, on the original point of the article. Good for Schuerholz in stepping up and telling those dirtbag agents to go fuck off. This is what separates current GM Frank Wren from Schuerholz. He has balls and is not afraid to tell an agent or a player to basically go fuck off. I wish he was still the Braves GM because they would have a hell of a lot better product on the field next year.
F THE CELTICS...JOSH SMITH AND THE HAWKS WILL GET THEM NEXT TIME
So the Atlanta Hawks didn't beat the obnoxious Boston Celtics last night to end their 15 game winning streak and I say who cares. The Hawks match up well with the Celtics and you can tell that KG and Paul Pierce are scared of what this team could do to them come playoff time. The Celtics with the win are now 24-2 and clearly the best team in the NBA(although I'm sure Lakers and Cavs fans would disagree) but they are afraid of this Atlanta squad ever since the Hawks took them to 7 improbable games last year in the playoffs. You don't see KG or Pierce shouting with emotion after a normal victory over the Grizzlies because they don't fear them. Josh Smith and the Hawks will have the last laugh. Sure the Celtics are 2-0 so far against the Hawks but both games could have easily and probably should have been won by Atlanta. I'm going to go out on a limb right now and say the Hawks will eliminate the Celtics in the playoffs.
NBA Finals Prediction: Hawks vs. Lakers bitches!
IRAQ SHOE THROWING STORE
Sorry I have been light on the posts recently. This week has been extremely busy for me with the whole Christmas shopping thing going and shipping out stuff and answering emails like an insane Iraqi shoe salesman. After watching the video above, which made my sides hurt from laughter, I have to give President Bush some props. Way to duck those flying saucers called shoes! And what in the hell was the Secret Service doing? It's almost like they wanted him to get hit. There was no agent throwing his body in front of the second shoe to protect the President. Those guys should be hired to protect Scott Boras.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
PRO BOWL SNUBS
I will be the first to admit that I could usually care less who makes the Pro Bowl. It's a glorified vacation in Hawaii with worn out NFL players sipping down Singapore Slings and Mai Tais while staring down other things then their wives(call it the Antonio Pierce syndrome) and less about going out and playing tackle football. But this year I have watched a ton of NFL football mainly because the Atlanta Falcons and Baltimore Ravens are both battling for playoffs spots with rookie quarterbacks and rookie head coaches and so I have invested something in the 2008 season.
How these players didn't make the Pro Bowl is a joke and signals how much of the selection is just on past reputation:
JOHN ABRAHAM (Atlanta Falcons)-Abraham has been a beast all season playing on a Falcon's defense which is underrated. Abraham leads all NFL defensive ends in sacks with 15 1/2 yet he got shafted in favor of an underperforming Julius Peppers. We all know Jared Allen of the Minnesota Vikings and Justin Tuck of the New York Giants should be there but picking Peppers over Abraham is an injustice. He has 3 more sacks and has come up huge in big play situations for the Falcons unlike Peppers.
STEVE SLATON (Houston Texans)-Let me be the first to admit, like my prediction on Matt Ryan, that I was completely wrong about Slaton's impact in the NFL. I honestly didn't think he would have one. But Slaton has proved me wrong by rushing for 1,124 yards and 12 TD's while also catching 40 balls. He deserved to get the nod over Ronnie Brown of the Miami Dolphins. Brown has rushed for 300 LESS yards, 2 TD's LESS, and caught 16 LESS balls while averaging LESS yards per carry than Slaton. That is a lot of LESS and therefore Slaton won't be able to enjoy the leis of Hawaii when he should be.
PHILIP RIVERS (San Diego Chargers)-He has 28 TD passes to lead the AFC and has an impressive QB rating of 101.4. Yet Brett Favre makes the Pro Bowl over him despite leading the NFL in interceptions and his 21 TD's and 86.4 QB rating are not even close to comparable to Rivers. What a fucking joke! Favre might be one of the most overrated players in NFL history. Just ask Peter King after he gets off his knees and removes Favre's member from his mouth.
Those are my three biggest snubs. There are others like Ryan Clady of the Broncos who you could make an argument should be there but I felt there was no argument against Abraham, Slaton, or Rivers getting the selection.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
BRIAN MCCANN HAS A SUPERBAD MOMENT ON HIS BAT
Deadspin has this great picture of Atlanta Braves catcher Brian McCann who apparently likes to draw things on his bat. I think we could all see this coming when McCann was in high school and admitted his problem with dong drawing....
CONVINCING SIEMENS COMMERCIAL
First be warned before viewing this commercial. IT HAS NUDITY! I know, it's terrible and obviously not safe for work and the commercial makes little sense but either does this blog and it's readers so I figured why not post it. Obviously the Europeans are a little bit more open in terms of nudity and sky diving...
Link:
God I would love to see a commercial like this played during the Super Bowl just to see the reactions from all the conservative Christians. Their tears of guilt would make it all worth while. Sinners.
Also I found this story pretty interesting in regards to France's First Lady Carla Bruni. Apparently she is suing a bag maker over the use of her nude image while she was a model back in the day. The bags are a huge hit and if you look at her below you can tell why. What is the world coming to when the French get this is a first lady and we got 8 years of George Bush?
She has my vote! You can view more Carla Bruni pics at this link.
Video HT: Joe
AUBURN LOVES THEM SOME GENE CHIZIK
Boooo, 5-19 is not good enough at Iowa State but apparently it's okay for Auburn to fire Tommy Turberville and replace him with Gene Chizik. Laughter and crying can now commence as Auburn goes back to being the doormat of Alabama...
I feel bad for Auburn. Their fans are obviously upset and vulnerable right now. They already hate Gene Chizik and he has yet to even call a play. This of course is the complete opposite of how Alabama fans reacted to the hire of Nick Saban. We going bowling...WHHHHOOOOOO!!!!....
Video HT: Billy
WAS IT A TOUCHDOWN?
The two top ranked NFL defenses showed up yesterday in Baltimore in a great game ending with a controversial call. Personally it didn't look like the ball broke the plane of the end zone and I'm not sure what the officials saw on replay to make it indisputable. Remember that the goal line official spotted Santonio Holmes just short of the end zone so when they went to replay the call had to be indisputable to over turn the original call. So in other words the Ravens got screwed at home. With the win the Pittsburgh Steelers won the AFC North and will now enjoy a first round bye and have a good chance of getting home field advantage throughout the playoffs. Right now the Steelers are playing great football and with the New York Giants looking like garbage in Dallas last night I believe you have to put the Steelers as the favorite to win the Super Bowl.
Friday, December 12, 2008
THE CAN'T MENTION NAME AWARD BEING HANDED OUT PREDICTION
Since I can no longer mention the name or post pictures of the award without being threatened with a lawsuit I will just name the major award they give out tomorrow as the "Most Hyped Bullshit Award for the Guy who will probably blow balls in their respective bowl game and in the NFL."
So without further ado here is my final ballot:
1. Colt McCoy (Texas)-Led his team to a near undefeated season while leading them in rushing as a QB and accounting for over 40 TD's while completing near 80% of his passes. And he beat Sam Bradford and Texas should be playing in the BCS Title game and maybe, just maybe, this makes up for Vince Young not winning it a few seasons ago. Unfortunately with winning this award McCoy will now suck it up in the Fiesta Bowl against an over matched Buckeyes squad who have no right to be in a BCS Bowl game.
2. Tim Tebow (Florida)-He won it last year and again he had an excellent season. But not as good as last year. Tebow will take the consolation prize with a National Championship ring to add to his multiple awards.
3. Sam Bradford (Oklahoma)-Had an unbelievable year even when the Sooners were throwing for TD's late in the fourth quarter up by 40 points. Of course it's not his fault by any means but he lost to McCoy and I am shallow like that.
4. Michael Crabtree (Texas Tech)-I think he is the best player in college football. Maybe he should be #1 but his season stats were not nearly as unbelievable as last year.
5. Graham Harrell (Texas Tech)-Hey, we all know he got fucked not getting the invite. The committee got cheap because the economy is in shambles and they need to sue bloggers. Nothing but love from Sportscrack Graham, you should be there in NYC.
6. Shonn Greene (Iowa)-Ran for over 100 yards in every game and personally carried the Hawkeyes to a pretty big bowl while rushing for over 1700 yards and 17 TDs.
MARRIAGE ADVICE FROM MIKE WILBON
Some women's basketball player named Candace Parker and Shelden Williams got this sound marriage advice from PTI's Mike Wilbon...
I have never been a big fan of Wilbon but this made me laugh out loud.
Video HT: FanIQ
SINCE I DRIVE A DODGE...
...I thought this particular spoof advertisement was really funny. Plus I needed the laugh after an organization which will remain nameless has threatened to sue me because I make dick for money and they don't want to be affiliated or even mentioned by Sportscrack.
Oh yeah, the organization is Floppy's R Us. They also make dicks for money and they like to screw with the little guys.
No worries though, their name will never be mentioned again. This I promise.
Image HT: Dan
Thursday, December 11, 2008
MICHAEL PHELPS LOVES BUSTY COCKTAIL WAITRESSES
Via WWTDD via Splash News comes this photo of Olympic hero Michael Phelps walking through LAX airport with his new girlfriend who just happens to be a Las Vegas cocktease...sorry, I meant cocktail waitress. This is what 8 Gold medals will get you kids. Fame, money and STD's. God bless you Phelps.
BARRY SANDERS JR. CAN PLAY
Just a freshman at Heritage Hall in Oklahoma, Barry Sanders Jr. made varsity and ripped off this 64 yard touchdown run in the Oklahoma Class 2A State Semi-Finals.
We can all pretty much agree that Barry's dad is one of the greatest runningbacks of all-time. Hell, he probably is the best ever. He played on a lot of terrible Detroit Lions teams and yet made them somewhat respectable. That in itself should make him one of the greatest. But I worry about Junior. A lot of people including myself at times are going to expect the kid to be as good or perhaps become better than his dad. It's just not possible. Barry Sr. could do things on the football field only LT and Adrian Peterson could dream of doing.
Unfortunately for all of us the hype around this kid is going to be insane for the next decade. Rivals and Scout websites will be blowing smoke up our asses about how he has better vision than Senior and he is faster. He will be setup with unreal expectations because of his bloodlines. USC coach Pete Carroll will be handing over dead hooker after dead hooker in hopes of enticing Junior into the dark side of South Central. It's going to be sad really.
Pete Carroll will be humming "every single breath you take, every tackle you break, every single day, I will be watching you" as he jerks off to old Naked Gun clips of Nordberg...
Barry Sanders Jr. Video: FanIQ
URBAN MEYER AGAIN STATES "NOTRE DAME IS MY DREAM JOB"
To all the people who doubt Florida head coach Urban Meyer would ever leave Gainesville for South Bend please click on this link, pick the Urban Meyer interview on the scroll board, and fast forward it to the 6:30 mark. The interview is from yesterday with Jim Mandich of Sports Radio 560 WQAM.
I think it has become painfully clear that if Charlie Weis doesn't succeed to some level in 2009 (BCS Bowl game is a must especially with their weak schedule) then Urban Meyer will be the head football coach of Notre Dame in 2010. The perfect storm will happen because Tim Tebow will be finishing off his senior season and riding off into the choppy waters of NFL obscurity while Urban takes a deal at Notre Dame with the hopes of gaining a statue and becoming a legend at Notre Dame Stadium like his mentor in Lou Holtz.
Link HT: Jeff
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
SPORTSCRACK BOWL PICK EM CONTEST
Before you kick off your snow boots and enjoy a cold one feel free to join the 2nd annual Sportscrack Bowl Pick Em Contest. Whomever gets the most points at the end of the contest gets their choice of prizes.
You can either get:
A)$75 worth of Sportscrack Tees and/or Drink Like A Champion Today Tees
B)A Full Size Replica Football helmet of your favorite team(can be NCAA or NFL)
Remember that you are only picking the winners of the bowl games and NOT betting against the spread. You will assign a point value to each bowl game in terms of your confidence level. For instance everybody with half a brain knows Florida is going to blow out Oklahoma in the BCS Title game so assign a ton of points to it.
If you have any questions feel free to email me at matt@sportscrack.com.
Beautiful Beer image above courtesy of Andrew Merriam.
Also, to anybody who won our weekly College Football Pick Em contest during the regular season, please email me at the same address and tell me which week you won along with your user name and we will arrange shipping you your free Sportscrack shirt. If you live in Canada then I'm sorry. No shipping across the border eh!
YANKEES SIGN C.C. SABATHIA TO $160 MILLION DOLLAR DEAL
This deal is wrong on so many levels I figured I would let a guy, actually a great writer named Dave O'Brien who covers the Atlanta Braves for the AJC.com, break it down with this comparison in terms of dollars in what Sabathia will get in New York to what future Hall of Famer Greg Maddux made during his entire career....
Just consider, Sabathia will make more during this deal than Greg Maddux, who retired Monday, made during his entire, spectacular 23-year career. Maddux made about $154 million and won 355 games, recording 109 complete games and 3,371 strikeouts in 5,008-1/3 innings and 740 starts.
Sabathia, 28, has 117 career wins and 1,659 innings.
After going 17-10 with 251 strikeouts in 253 innings this season, he would have to average 16.5 wins and 223 innings for the next 15 seasons to match Maddux.
So congratulations go out to the New York Yankees to getting Sabathia. They give him the richest contract ever for a pitcher surpassing Johan Santana's deal from last offseason and now rely on him to get them a World Series ring. This despite pitching nearly 750 innings the past 3 years and his ever growing waist which will break down his body eventually. Oh yeah, they also offered him a deal reportedly worth more than $60 million more than the nearest competitor for Sabathia's services. In a shitty economy. Now that is smart baseball.
GLEN "BIG BABY" DAVIS CRYING
I don't know how I missed this the other night. Oh yeah, I don't watch much NBA Basketball or really pay attention to it unless it's playoff time or the Atlanta Hawks are involved. Anyways, my buddy Billy pointed out this clip to me of Boston Celtic's Glen Davis, aka Big Baby, losing it after Kevin Garnett got on to his teammates during the Celtics blow out victory over the Portland Trailblazers on Friday night.
What a pussy! I mean come on man, show some fucking dignity. Davis obviously has some personal issues to deal with and I will admit I have cried numerous times in the past but I had good reasons. Women and Notre Dame football can be really painful to the heart. A teammate bitching you out is no reason to cry. Charlie Weis coming back for a fifth season and/or catching a swift kick in the balls from a girlfriend because you say she looks a little chubby lately are perfectly good reasons to shed tears.
If Sean Avery is going to get suspended for 6 games for a sloppy seconds comment then I think the NBA needs to come down hard on Big Baby. 10 games minimum for crying on the bench. It's only fair since athletes are apparently not allowed to express their feelings.
NEW TERMINATOR 4 TRAILER
I think we got a winner here. Christian Bale as John Connor is a perfect match. This film, with the right marketing could do Dark Knight numbers in the box office. If those motorcycles look familiar in the trailer then it's because they bring back memories of Batman's chopper so to speak.
There is no Arnold in this one from what I have heard. He is too busy terminating Prop 8 in California.
Monday, December 08, 2008
NEW MUSIC VIDEO BY ANDY SAMBERG
The same SNL guy who wrote "Dick in a Box" brings this dandy. Not as good as "Box" but "Jizzed in my Pants" is pretty catchy. If you look closely you will see a cameo by Justin Timberlake in the video. Also good to see Meadow get away from Turtle. This song will more than likely be heard at dance clubs all across the country now. If there are dance clubs still. I have no idea, I don't really go out anymore. My sponsor says it's not "conducive" to a healthy lifestyle. Whatever quitter.
ANTONIO BRYANT HAS THE CATCH OF THE YEAR
Before his 9 catch, 200 yard, 2 touchdown performance on Monday Night against the Carolina Panthers the only thing Antonio Bryant could catch were pink slips from past employers for being a malcontent. Tonight he turned in a career performance in a losing effort but this catch has to be one of the prettiest catches I have ever seen live on television.
With the Panthers win it opens the door for the Atlanta Falcons to get back into the playoff hunt. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers fall to 9-4 with a trip to the Georgia Dome ahead this Sunday. If the Falcons can win on their homefield (NFC South is 24-2 on their home turf) then they will be tied with the Bucs at 9-5 and have a really good chance of winning out with Minnesota and St. Louis left on the schedule.
It should get interesting. Somewhere Michael Vick weeps.
TEBOW TAKES DOWN BAMA, OKLAHOMO AWAITS
Video HT: EDSBS
Let me be not certainly the first but one of many to say the bowl matchups blow. Besides the BCS Title game the one game I am really looking forward to watching is the Poinsettia Bowl. Don't laugh. TCU is #11 in the BCS rankings and has a great defense and we all know Boise State who is #9 in the BCS can play with anybody. It's a shame these two programs got shafted into a bottom tier bowl game when they should be given the chance to play in higher payout one such as the BCS. December 23rd just doesn't sound like a date you want to be playing your bowl game on but whatever, the bowl system is corrupt.
I see for some reason the Gaytors are now 3 point UNDERDOGS to Oklahomo according to Vegas. Actually let me change my reaction. I'm completely shocked Tim Tebow would be considered an underdog in a game where he could tear apart a very suspect Sooners defense in the state of Florida. The Sooners are scoring at will but they have yet to face such an athletic and fast defense that the Gators have.
I would scoop up that 3 points and bet heavily for Florida. I'm sure that line has to change(another fucking month till they play) so if you have confidence in the Gators to beat the shit out of Oklahoma like I do right now then bet now.
I feel bad for the Texas Longhorns today. I also feel bad for Penn State, Utah, Boise State, Texas Tech and yes, even USC. All of these teams should be given a chance to play for a National Championship in a playoff system. It's a shame that two of these teams are undefeated(Utah and Boise State) and all the other ones have one loss but were not deemed worthy enough to play in a title game in which both Florida and Oklahoma have one huge L themselves this season.
What do you guys think about the matchups in the bowls? Are you excited? Could you care less and now look forward to watching the NFL where they actually play for a true champion?
At least the college presidents get off on the BCS games like John C Reilly gets off on customer satisfaction...
Saturday, December 06, 2008
GREG MADDUX RETIRES
355 career wins and a career 3.12 ERA get Greg Maddux into the Hall of Fame as a first ballot. Oh yeah, his WHIP secured the first ballot. Ignore his wins and ERA because they don't matter as much as the stat of WHIP. Maddux was an under appreciated superstar pitcher. A pitching nerd in his own right, he won 4 straight Cy Youngs from 1992-95 for the Cubs and the Braves. He will no doubt go into Cooperstown wearing a Braves hat and will be the first "Atlanta" Brave to do so. Remember Hank played most of his career in Milwaukee. The Mad Dog was also in one of the best Nike commercials ever...
Chicks did the long ball. Stat nerds dig the WHIP.
Friday, December 05, 2008
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND FOLKS!
Since I've somehow managed to go the whole week without mentioning the SEC Championship even though it's the biggest game of the year in college football and it's right down the street from my house I feel the need to give a prediction.
The Florida Gators as you probably know come in extremely hot having ripped off blowout after blowout since the tough loss at home to Ole Miss. The X factor in this game for the Gators is Percy Harvin. Will he play is the question? He has a nagging ankle which could either prevent him from playing or limit his Madden-like moves and acceleration(not likely because he is Superhuman as is Tim Tebow). The Gators are 10 point favorites despite playing an Alabama team which has the better defense.
Defense usually wins championships and with big boy Terrance Cody on the line Bama has been able to control the line of scrimmage. Vegas seems to think it will be a blowout but I don't see it that way. Bama can play tough, hard nosed football and will look to control the clock and the line of scrimmage. They have already dominated one top ten team in the Georgia Dome with Clemson at the beginning of the season. Granted Clemson wound up with Dabo Swinney at the end of the year as their head coach. Now that I think about it Alabama has basically been an integral part of 4 head coaches losing their jobs so far. First Tommy Bowden. After that is was Phil Fulmer. Then Sylvester Croom. And finally last week they somehow managed Auburn into thinking Tommy Tuberville wasn't right for them. Auburn officials are morons by the way. So could this be the last game we see Urban Meyer at Florida with an upset in the making? (My ND heart and soul hope so)
NOPE. Florida wins a close one(so take Bama with the points) to advance to the BCS Title game to face the Oklahoma Sooners who will dismantle Mizzou. Remember people, Tebow always gets what he wants...
THE JUICE WAS FINALLY SQUEEZED...
For at least the next 9 years of his aging life O.J. Simpson, USC Trojans hero, will spend time in jail giving his best Heisman Trophy stiff arm to many sexual predators who will in turn admire his starfish. O.J., the esteemed wife beater and murderer, finally got caught and in a classic way got the key thrown away by stealing his own shit. It was good knowing you Nordberg but unfortunately your time has come to leave this place called society...
In light of the Juice going to the can so to speak we are going to lower the cost of our O.J. SHIRT TO $10. It only seems right to honor the fallen USC TROJAN hero who no doubt was inspiration for the future Reggie Bush's and Todd Marinovich's of the cardinal and gold. You surely won't be missed Simpson.
DREADLOCK TAC-KLE!
Rutger's Jordan Brooks might want to get those dreadlocks cut off. Honestly I don't know why more football players don't make these kind of tackles. Isn't the dreadlocks considered part of the uniform nowadays so it's not a penalty if you grab them?
I once had dreadlocks but then I decided I needed to clean it up because of the excessive dingleberrys.
With Rutgers beating the shit out of Louisville last night it pretty much secured a bowl game for Notre Dame in the lovely Texas Bowl against the Rice Owls. Can't wait to watch that on the NFL Network! And yes, I am scared of Rice.
Thursday, December 04, 2008
MLB HOT STOVE THOUGHTS
-The recent trade between the Atlanta Braves and Chicago White Sox has me confused. So the Braves are willing to give up top notch prospects for Javier Vasquez
-The St. Louis Cardinals acquired 
-The Giants are close to signing SS Edgar Renteria to a 2 year deal reportedly worth $18.5 million. Curious move here for the Giants. They have a young shortstop in Emmanuel Burriss who looks like he can play. In 95 games last year he held his own during his rookie year and managed a .357 on base percentage. Renteria is of course a former All-Star and could be a great addition. The guy can still play and he needed to get out of Detroit. It could become interesting to see what the Giants do with Burriss now. Trade bait for the Orioles?
-The Red Sox gave AL MVP(haha) Dustin Pedrioa a 6 year, $40.5 million dollar contract extension. Good move by the Red Sox. Pedrioa is still young and will be productive for at least the next 3-4 years and you got him signed to below market value in terms of value.
-Still no movement or much talks in regards to the big free agents. You have to wonder how these players are going to get huge contracts when the economy is doing so bad right now. I know a lot of people talk that it shouldn't effect baseball salaries but honestly how could it not? Less people will be attending the games because they simply can't afford it. This has to drive down salaries. Plus more companies are cutting down advertising budgets and one of the first to go will be ballpark and television ad campaigns. Of course none of this matters to the agents. Agents like Scott Boras will still insist the game has never been stronger in terms of revenue and the ballplayers he represent are better than Babe Ruth and Walter Johnson combined. It's true, he has the 300 page book to prove it statistically.
I'm interested in knowing what you guys think about the transactions so far in the slow Hot Stove season. It should heat up next week as the GM Winter Meetings will be held so hopefully there is more news and substantial rumors to be reported. As always if you are looking for the most up to date news on MLB trades and rumors go to Tim Dierkes MLBTRADERUMORS.COM site. It's better than any site out there including ESPN or SI and it's completely free.
BODE MILLER STILL GETTING WORK
You know after the winter Olympics are over we usually don't hear about the "athletes" unless they get caught soliciting a prostitute or holding up a liquor store. It's good to see US skier Bode Miller getting back to his training regimen using some new tactics such as boxing. You know boxing is great for cardio. Also the masseuses are must for any professional athlete.
And Vagisil is awesome for feminine itching. After all "When you're thinking feminine itch, you're thinking Bode Miller."
LANE KIFFIN'S WIFE LAYLA IS A PILF
Our esteemed colleague over at HotSECPoon wonders if Layla Kiffin is Poon worthy. Even at 8 1/2 months pregnant I would say the best thing Tennessee got out of the hire of Lane Kiffin was the wife Layla. Sure Lane could recruit with the best of them at USC but he will have one hell of a job in the SEC conference competing to get kids up in Knoxville. It ain't no Hollywood. Anyways, check out the video linked below to see how uncomfortable Lane looks when they want to get a picture of his pregnant wife. It's almost like he wants to kill the leering guy who suggests it. More than likely it's the Athletic Director. Check it out and tell me what you think...
Blinkx Video: Meet Layla Kiffin, Lane Kiffin's Wife
Poon worthy?
HT: HOTSECPOON
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