Peyton Manning Reacts to the new Kim Kardashian Bikini Photos

So it looks like Kim Kardashian has bounced back from delivering Kanye West's devil spawn by doing what she does best: sex and working out.  Granted her hips are now wider than Texas but who gives a shit, everything else is legit.

When asked about his thoughts about Kim and her new post baby body Peyton Manning showed his horndog self...

Padres Honor the Late Tony Gwynn With a Tremendous Tribute

You can often see how much a human being had an impact on the world after they leave the living world.  On Monday Tony Gwynn left at the young age of 54 due to complications from cancer.  He left a legacy.  Everybody has nothing but kind words for Mr. Padre.  He was an institution in San Diego having grown up, gone to college, and played his entire career in the area.  I was fortunate to meet Tony a couple of times growing up and he didn't let you down with his smile, his laugh, and his ability to connect with you even though he really didn't know you.  We all knew about Tony growing up but he was more interested in finding out about you the person.  Tony was just a great guy.  A great player.  Perhaps the best hitter the game has seen in 50 plus years.  Tony Gwynn will be missed.  Tony is up there with the Cal Ripkens, Dale Murphys and Ozzie Smiths of the baseball world.  Great ball players who were even better good guys off the field.  They lived up to the sports idol for every kid.

RIP Tony Gwynn.

USA Men's National Team Better Win Today vs Ghana

No more fucking excuses.  We are the USA.  We don't need excuses.  We need answers and we needed them yesterday.  Portugal just got their bitch asses steamrolled by the Germans and lost two players in the process including their pride and dignity.  This "group of death" currently doesn't look so fucking deadly anymore.  All the USA has to do is beat fucking Ghana at 6pm today.  Ghana is some piss ant from Africa who has no right to beat us considering all the money we put into developing our players and hiring the best coaches in the world.  I'm pretty sure 95% of Ghana doesn't even have electricity much less water.  No more fucking excuses America.  I want us to destroy Ghana and then kick the living shit out of Portugal and Ronaldo and then Germany can annihilate us for all I care since it won't matter since we will automatically advance.

P.S - I only watch soccer every four years for the World Cup.  I still think it's a nancy sport with "athletes" who would get curbed stomp playing in the States if they played one of the sports that actually matters (Football, baseball, hockey, basketball) but that doesn't matter right now.  It's about national pride.  We gotta win.  No more excuses.

Double P.S - Cool video.  I got a little chub from it  no lie.

Notre Dame Equipment Manager Ryan Grooms Teases the 2014 Shamrock Series Helmet With This Box Picture

Wonder what's in the box...#goirish #Indianapolis pic.twitter.com/o0oPz0gl6a
— Ryan Grooms (@NDFBEquipment) June 16, 2014

Oh Ryan you can't be teasing the family jewels like this.  I can feel it deep in my plums.  They are all tingly in anticipation.  What's in the box?  I need to see the new 2014 Shamrock Series helmet today!

By the way before you even ask yes we will again have the helmets in stock first for sale.  As soon as Ryan reveals the helmet we will put a link up to buy the minis and authentic versions of it.

We still have some of the 2013 Shamrock Series and 2012 mini helmets in stock along with the authentics if anybody is interested in adding to their collection.

Go Irish!

Johnny Manziel Still Partying Hard, Can't Hear You Complaining With All of His Money

I'm not going to lie.  I would fucking kill to live one day in Johnny Football's shoes right now.  I mean is anybody else living it up more than Johnny Manziel?  He's got a different dime piece every week.  Hell he might have a different smokeshow every day for all I can tell.  He's been partying with celebrities all over the country.  He's got so much cash he can't even fucking hear us.  Johnny Cleveland is living like a gangster.  Party on Johnny.  Party on.

Get the original Johnny Cleveland shirt here!

NFL Films Announces Hard Knocks 2014 Will Feature Atlanta Falcons

OFFICIAL- NFL Films is excited 2 announce #HARDKNOCKS will feature @Atlanta_Falcons, premiering Aug 5. #cinemaverite pic.twitter.com/XfIzuQ5eCe
— NFL Films (@NFLFilms) June 12, 2014

Umm can I get a hell yeah?  Hard Knocks is one of my favorite shows and the Atlanta Falcons are my favorite NFL team so this is going to be a marriage in heaven no doubt.  We will get to see Arthur Blank behind the scenes pulling out his white glove and slapping one of his serfs like he is Colonel Sanders.  We will get to see head coach Mike Smith say absolutely nothing interesting while doing coach speak throughout.  We will get to see and hear Roddy White put his foot in his mouth multiple times while entertaining us Chad Johnson style.  Hopefully we will catch a glimpse of one of Matty Ice's road beef side pieces.  This will be must watch TV for what could be another painful season for all Falcons fans coming off a 4-12 season.  I don't think it will be a distraction and if anything it will keep the players more focused on rebounding from that shitfest 2013 season.

Over/Under on number of times Blank mentions his charitable work: 8

Talk About Luck: Sydney Man With a GoPro Cliffs Dive Into Water With a Great White Shark And Lives To Show It

Holy shit!  I'm trying to think of a more scary scenario than this.  Look I would be the last person you would see cliff diving.  I just couldn't muster up the courage even if I was hammered, black out drunk.  But to not only cliff dive and yet come down with the possibility of the world's most famous man eating predator just waiting for you as a snack is frightening.  This bloke is more lucky than any lottery winner.  His life was determined to go on only because that Great White waiting in the water had already eaten no doubt.

I'm trying to think of a more scarier scenario than cliff diving into Great White shark infested waters.  Hmmm, maybe being a Chicago Cubs fan.  Yeah that would definitely be suicidal.

A's Yoenis Cespedes Defies Logic With Terrible Fielding yet a Rocket Accurate Arm Saves Him Again

A's left fielder Yoenis Cespedes did it again last night vs the Angels.  Bobbling ground balls and making ridiculous on the mark throws has become Cespedes forte.  Watch him nail Albert Pujols at 3rd base...



And of course the night before Cespedes made one of the best throws I have ever seen.  He basically channeled his inner Bo Jackson and completed a frozen rope from the warning track all the way to home to nail Howie Kendrick...

Watching Cristiano Ronaldo Throw Passes at the Jets Practice Facility Will Make You Appreciate His Overall Athleticism

Now I just feel bad for making fun of soccer players.  Sorry excuse me.  I meant "futbol players."  Every single soccer player has gone out of their way to tell me how they are the best athletes and it takes the most skill to excel at their great sport.  I mean after all it is the world's most popular sport so it must take an elite talent to conquer it like Cristiano Ronaldo has.  He's the best of the best and you would never know that he doesn't use his arms like every other sport in the world.  It's just so natural for him to throw a pigskin.  I mean he could probably win the Heisman next year if he decided to attend college and slay coeds instead of European models.  Yup it must be the reason why America sucks so bad at soccer because we don't have the great athletes that Europe and the other countries have.  Ronaldo proves it with his natural talent.  It's like watching 50 Cent throw a baseball.  You can't miss the greatness.

Love those shorts by the way.  It's always comforting to see someone's nuts dangling out while dribbling a soccer ball.  Makes me respect his game even more.

KTLA Reporter Christina Pascucci Was Live at a Gay Pride Parade When a Patron Said "You Are So F*cking Hot"

See America has nothing to fear when it comes to gay people and marriage.  Give them a little bit of the sauce and they start hitting on the opposite sex on live tv.  This guy seems to have the same amount of game I used to have while intoxicated.  The scary part is it actually worked.  About 5% of the time but hey beggars can't be choosers.  Someone get this guy another drink he could turn into Derek Jeter just swooping up grade A road beef.

Adriana Lima Has Changed My Mind, I Will Be Watching the World Cup

We really are a simple breed.  Just show us a pretty girl and we will throw all logic out of the window.  We are basically dogs.  Give us a little love and we are all ears and panting for more.  Model Adrian Lima could have turned on Big Ten Football and I would have been like "Fuck Yeah I need some Big Ten Football" even though we all know it sucks.  The power of the ....

Lebron James Cramping Memes are Internet Gold

Full disclosure: last night was the first time I've watched any of the NBA Playoffs.  I turned it on because I figured I might owe it to myself to see what all the hoopla was about.  Apparently the Spurs forgot to pay their HVAC bill and the air conditioning went out in the first period.  I will be the last person to make fun of somebody for bitching about the hot conditions which reached 90 degrees inside San Antonio's AT&T arena.  I personally think AC is one of if not the greatest and most needed inventions of all time.  With that being said I've played baseball, football, basketball, street hockey, golf, tennis, track and field all in temperatures above 90 growing up in the South.  It sucks but you get used to it.  I didn't see old men Tim Duncan or Ray Allen wilting under the heat.  Lebron you play for a fucking team called the Heat.  Act like you have been there before.  I've dealt with cramps before.  They suck.  But you can play through them.  Get an IV or some fucking water.  Stop drinking that Powerade junk and drink plenty of H2O.  And don't you dare get carried off the court again like a bitch.  That's fucking embarrassing.  I'm actually embarrassed for him.  No fucking way would I be carried off unless a bone was sticking out of both of my legs.

See more at GAMEDAYR.COM

http://gamedayr.com/lifestyle/fans/lebron-james-cramping-memes-109235/

Crush Davis Hits a Towering Home Run, Given Silent Treatment from Teammates

Last season Baltimore Orioles slugger Chris "Crush" Davis hit a staggering 53 homers in a break out season that earned him top 3 MVP votes.  This season Davis has been struggling with the long balls.  He had 7 going into last night at the 1/3 season mark.  After hitting a towering ball in the right field bleacher seats in Arlington last night you would think his teammates would be excited to see Crush break out of his mini slump.  They gave him the silent treatment.  Davis would not be shown up though as he gave his air high fives to his imaginary teammates.  Take that assholes!

O's won their 4th straight.  I'm still holding out hope the O's beat the Dodgers in the World Series as I predicted before the season started.  They need to make a trade for another starter (Jeff Samardzija please) and get Matt Wieters back from injury and they should be fine.  They got this!

50 Cent With the All-Time Worst First Pitch

50 Cent must have taken 9 bullets to his left shoulder before delivering this stinker of a first pitch.  I'm right handed and I'm 100% certain I could throw left handed better than 50.  Clearly not an athlete 50 should stick with rapping and/or soccer because the use of his arm is clearly not needed or wanted.

Crush Davis' One Word To Describe Major League Home Run Leader Nelson Cruz is Flamboyant

We are near the 1/3 season mark and Baltimore Orioles slugger/"Biogenisis survivor" Nelson Cruz is the MLB leader with 16 HRs.  Some would describe Cruz  as passionate, beastly, steady, machine, etc. His teammate Chris Davis who led the Majors last season in HR and RBIs however has a different one word description: flamboyant.  I don't think anyone saw that coming.  Hopefully "Cruzzzzzz" can be as flamboyant as Brady Anderson was back in the mid-to-late 90's and lead the Orioles back to the playoffs.  You go boy!

Washington National's Baseball Defined in one Smelly Armpit Vine

Now that is NATITUDE!  Smell it!  Smell it!  I said fucking SMELL IT!

Via @recordsandradio

Norm McDonald is not a big fan of Oscar Pistorius

I can see Norm McDonald's argument.  You should need actual legs to be able to race.  It's only fair.  No wonder the guy murdered his girlfriend.  He's been living a lie his whole life thinking he had real legs.

The Johnny Cleveland Rap Song

He's got the city believing...he's going to wreck this league!  Truer words have never been spoken.

Johnny Manziel is now bigger than the city of Cleveland.  Johnny Football is going to be running around Cleveland giving girls epic panty slushies.  It's inevitable.

Braves Release Renderings of New Stadium

AJC.com 

The Atlanta Braves released on Wednesday conceptual drawings of their planned 41,000-plus seat Cobb County Stadium.

The images show a stadium with three main decks, including a split upper deck, and a broad sun canopy that’s about three times the size of the overhang at Turner Field. The drawings also provide a glimpse at the design concepts behind the $400 million mixed-use complex to sit around the ballpark.

“This is a very early look at how our vision is shaping up and, even though we are still months away from final plans and drawings, we are very pleased with the progress,” said Braves President John Schuerholz, said in a news release. “The renderings represent the sense of place we intend to create 365 days a year in addition to a world-class ballpark.”

The Braves announced in November their intention to move to Cobb into a new $622 million stadium for the 2017 season. The team also plans to open the first phase of its surrounding mixed-use project, a blend of bars, shops, restaurants, office space, hotels and residences, in 2017 with full completion slated for 2019.

Derek Schiller, the Braves head of marketing, told reporters in a conference call that the ballpark will be oriented to the southwest. It’s not a typical ballpark layout – given the position of the sun in late afternoon hours and the view for fans and players at-bat.

Unlike Turner Field, the stadium also will likely have more character in its outfield. Rather than a curved outfield wall, Schiller said the team is looking at other arrangements with more defined power alleys.

He said, however, that he wouldn’t label the new stadium a hitter’s ballpark, and that the new venue will likely retain Turner Field’s reputation as a more pitcher-friendly field.

The renderings also show green space and a small lake of about 1-to 1.5 acres that will be a prominent feature on the site.

MY TAKE:  Looks incredible at least from the drawings.  I'm digging the Kansas City inspired lake feature out beyond the outfield.  Hell they could stock it with fish and use it as a fishing hole year round.  I would pay to go fishing and drinking right next to the Braves stadium.  The bars and shops should definitely attract more people for the games and give them something to do finally before and after.  The stadium itself looks like a good mixture of classic and modern.  They need to have some statues of Smoltz, Glavine, Maddux, Chipper, Murphy, Hank, Bobby, etc. to make it feel historic in it's own new way.  I think making it seat 41,000 is smart.  It will give it a more intimate feel.  It will be interesting to see the final renderings but this is a great start.  They still need to address the traffic situation and how accessible it will be for mass transit.

Georgia Recruit Nick Chubb Has Some Serious Hops

Tailback U is getting another specimen of an athlete this fall.  Incoming freshman Nick Chubb out of Cedartown High School was just gradually warming up for his track meet last week by doing some stretching and also had the chance to display his 40 inch vertical jump while loosing up his hammys.  And boy did he ever!  Holy shit this Chubb manchild makes Carl Lewis look like a JV athlete.

Before the comparisons already started somebody had the bright idea to put a side by side picture of current high school athlete Chubb next to the great Herschel Walker when he was in Athens.  You tell me who looks more like a super hero?

Chubb is a 5 star recruit who will make an immediate impact this fall despite returning starters Todd Gurley (the best college back in the nation) and Keith Marshall (coming off injury) otherwise known as Gurshall wrecking havoc again in the SEC.  If head coach Mark Richt and offensive coordinator Mike Bobo are smart enough they will realize they can ride the stable of Gurley, Marshall and Chubb to a SEC Title if they decide to RUN THE DAMN BALL and play to the strength of their offense while keeping their defense fresh and off the field.  The last time Georgia seriously contended for a National Championship they rode Herschel all the way to a Sugar Bowl triumph 34 years ago.  Why not do the same this year with 3 guys instead while keeping their legs fresh?

Cleveland Reacts to Johnny Football Draft, Johnny Cleveland Shirts Already Available

CLICK HERE TO BUY JOHNNY CLEVELAND SHIRT

Well that didn't take long.  Cleveland loves them some Johnny Football aka Johnny Cleveland now.

We already have Johnny Cleveland shirts up for sale!

Go nuts Cleveland.  Go nuts!

Videos via BarStoolSports

Gotta Love Jadeveon Clowney's Response to "What's the hardest class in college?"

  Oh those crazy New York paps asking their silly questions.  Asking future NFL bust Jadeveon Clowney "What's the hardest class in college?" is on par with asking a blind person if it was "Love at first sight?"  But I'm not going to lie.  I love Clowney's response.  Just laughing out loud is so perfect.  Football players from conferences like the SEC don't go to class.  It's beyond ridiculous to even think they do.  It's a whole different ball game in the south.  It would be a hell of an accomplishment if they could just name their position coach much less actually attend some classes.

Keep being you Jadeveon.  He probably had the same response when scouts asked him if he put any effort into his junior season.

2014 NFL Mock Draft: The Final One

It's about fucking time right?  The NFL Draft is finally here.  I feel like it's been shoved down our throats by ESPN more aggressively than a Peter North cuckold.  This is the final mock we are doing...for 2014.

1. Texans - Jadeveon Clowney

2.  Rams - Greg Robinson

3.  Jaguars - Johnny Manziel

4.  Browns - Blake Bortles

5.  Raiders - Sammy Watkins

6.  Falcons -  Jake Matthews

7.  Buccaneers - Khalil Mack

8.  Vikings - Aaron Donald

9.  Bills - Zach Martin

10.  Lions - Darqueze Denard

11.  Titans - Mike Evans

12.  Giants - Taylor Lewan

13.  Rams - Odell Beckham

14.  Bears - Ha Ha Clinton-Dix

15.  Steelers - Justin Gilbert

16.  Cowboys - Timmy Jernigan

17.  Ravens - Eric Ebron

18.  Jets - Marqise Lee

19.  Dolphins - Cyrus Kouandjio

20.  Cardinals - Derek Carr

21.  Packers - Calvin Pryor

22.  Eagles - Anthony Barr

23.  Chiefs - Brandin Cooks

24.  Bengals - Kyle Fuller

25.  Chargers - Louis Nix

26.  Browns - Xavier Su'a Filo

27.  Saints - C. J. Mosley

28.  Panthers - Morgan Moses

29.  Patriots -  Jace Amaro

30.  49ers - Jason Verrett

31.  Broncos -  Dee Ford

32.  Seahawks - Joel Bitonio

Classic Taiwan Animation of Jameis Winston Free Seafood University Theft

I seriously feel like SportsCenter would be one million times better if they just made all their news stories have Taiwanese animation.  I don't need a reporter on site unless she is in lingerie.  I need animation.  The fucking gigantic Hurricanes crab got me in the end and I almost feel bad for laughing at it.  I mean it's not even funny it's just so fucking stupid you have to laugh.  It's almost as stupid as a Heisman Trophy winning QB stealing crab legs from Publix and pretty much getting away with it.

Speaking of stupid if you haven't ordered one of these Free Seafood University shirts you might as well ride the short bus because your summer is going to suck.  They ship out this week and they're hotter than Jameis Winston's crab infested man nuggets.

ORDER NOW

Kevin Durant's MVP Speech Was Emotional

Mr. Unreliable eh?

Kevin Durant delivered a highly emotional and heartfelt speech yesterday thanking his mother, friends, and teammates after receiving his first MVP trophy.  The best part of the speech was it was completely honest and not scripted.  There wasn't a dry eye in the room.  Fuck I started cutting onions only 45 seconds into it.  Bravo to Durant.  We have a tendency and I'm guilty of this a lot for bashing players who don't put their emotions on their sleeve and only play for the money.  Durant is one of the good guys.  He's a player everybody can root for.  One in which I would run through a wall for.  I could only imagine being his teammate.  This speech sealed his bronze statue in Oklahoma City.  Durant the Legend.

Girl Hit By Shovel Goes Viral

Full fight video below.  I've been laughing at these remix videos since they exploded on the internet yesterday.  Yes I've got a problem.  But at least I don't have a shovel imprint in my head.  Although the girl with the shovel scar will probably make millions off this before she gets a video deal with Vivid.

WORLD STAR!!!!

NFL Draft 2014: The 5 Safest Picks

Every year we get NFL GMs, scouts, and draft experts over thinking the draft process and taking the shiniest athlete instead of the best overall player.  Most years it's a QB like Blaine Gabbert or Jamarcus Russell.  Some years it's a defensive player who blows up in the combine like Mike Mamula.

This year we got some great BOOM or BUST picks in Jadeveon Clowney and Johnny Manziel.  Both could turn the NFL upside down and both could be colossal flops for all we know.  But now we need to look at 5 guys who will bring the most value to where they will likely be picked and in a world of unknowns are the "safest" picks of the 2014 NFL Draft.  The NFL Draft is a crap shoot but it's always safe to lay down on the 6's and 8's when all else fails.  Here are some picks who should pan out.

1)  Khalil Mack, outside linebacker, Buffalo

I'm sure I will get some heat for saying this but Mack is a better overall player and athlete than Clowney.  Watch the film.  Mack is just as fast, explosive, and unlike Clowney he doesn't take plays off.  Mack is the one guy on film who jumps out for his consistent play.  He will be an All-Pro and he carries a chip on his shoulder.  If I had the #1 pick I would take Mack without hesitation.

2) Jake Matthews, offensive tackle, Texas A&M

Drafting a Matthews is like drafting a Manning.  His bloodlines flow with future success in the NFL.  On top of that he's the best overall left tackle in this draft who can pass protect and open up huge holes for the running game.  His athleticism reminds me a lot of Tony Boselli.  He's a future All-Pro and is much better than the #1 and #2 overall players taken in last year's draft.

3) Zach Martin, offensive guard/tackle, Notre Dame

Martin was by far the best overall player at the Senior Bowl.  A 4-year starter at ND who didn't give up a sack his senior season the only knock on Martin is his measure ables.  He's considered a tad short (6'4) for offensive tackle and his arm length is a bit short too.  But he makes up for it by being a tenacious blocker and leader.  Whether given the chance on the outside or interior of a line remains to be seen but it is a safe bet Martin will dominate at those positions.

4) Darqueze Denard, cornerback, Michigan State

In my mind Denard is the best overall corner in this draft and it looks like he might not get drafted in the 1st round according to some mocks.  He's not tall (6'0) and he is not extremely fast but his overall knowledge of the game and defense is through the roof.  Denard is also a tenacious, get in your face competitor who wants to be the best and thinks he is the best.  He reminds me a lot of Richard Sherman.

5) Aaron Donald, defensive tackle, Pittsburgh

Just a shade under 300 pounds Donald was often double and sometimes triple-teamed in college and still made a huge impact at a position which is usually just used for run stopping.  Donald if you watch the film is a high motor guy who reminds me a lot of Geno Atkins when he was coming out of Georgia.  He's tenacious, has a great work ethic from all accounts, and will disrupt NFL offenses for years to come.

Bama Football Player Michael Nyeswander Does His Best Stone Cold Steve Austin Impersonation

So, this guy from the Dega infield last night...of course he plays tight end at Alabama http://t.co/eFNtYDAFc8 pic.twitter.com/s6XPzwspLN
— Bunkie Perkins (@BunkiePerkins) May 4, 2014

Remember all of those Alabama stereotypes in your head before you saw this post of Alabama Tight End Michael Nyeswander?  Well now you feel a little less guilty don't you?

We got the Alabama tank top officially licensed by Nike.

We got the classic jorts.

We got the tube socks with work boots.

We got the classic old school Miller Lite can.

And to top it all off we got the Bama meathead crushing said Miller Lite on head in an epic drunk fueled steroid/deer antler spray rage.

All that is missing is a scantily clothed cousin of Neyeswander eyeing him up and this would be the perfect Bama stereotype encapsulated in two pictures.

Notre Dame Coaches Reading Student-Athlete Tweets Was Actually Funny

I don't care how old you are or how young you are or how sophisticated or how well of an upbringing you were brought up in farts are 100% funny all the fucking time.  My 3 year old daughter cracks up every time I "toot" or she "toots" and my wife stares at us like we are neanderthals until she finally laughs because they are fucking funny.  You can't help yourself.  So when I see a ND coach talking about one of her players tweeting about getting cropdusted it makes me laugh.  The world would be a lot better albeit smellier place if we just handled confrontations or squabbles with farts.  I mean could you imagine back in the day Reagan and Gorbachev just ripping cheese bellies together?  The Cold War would have been dead.

By the way where the hell was Brian Kelly?  You can't have a video about ND coaches without the most famous and really the only important one on campus.  He was probably out interviewing for the soon to be available Atlanta Falcons job.

How to Sneak Into Any Game

I could see myself doing all of these except the stealing beer part.  I'm not a big enough asshole I guess to fake a choking and grab some other dude's beer and chug it in front of them.  Granted all bets are off if I see some douche wearing a Yankees hat at Turner Field.

True story I've only snuck into one game without paying in my life.  I've gotten plenty of free tickets but actually getting into a packed game without a ticket is hard work.  We all know I like to do the least amount of work.  Remember C's get degrees kids and they still count as much as straight A's.  Anyways I was up in Philly for my college roomie Tobin's wedding.  Our flight out to Atlanta on that Sunday was delayed because of some bullshit fog or rain in the ATL.  So the wife and I decided to take a shuttle over to Citizen Banks Park to watch the Phillies battle the DBacks.  In Atlanta it's easy to get a baseball ticket. You just walk up to the ticket window and buy one.  In Philly we found out it doesn't work the same way.  They were completely sold out.  No standing room tickets.  No handicap tickets.  Nothing.  It was the game before the All-Star break so every inbred Philly fan was there.  So I told the wife we had to get in we were just going to have to wing it somehow.  Asked a few ushers and they put up the Heisman.  The game had already started.  Finally spotted a guy frazzled with his kids of course leaving the stadium.  And much like the fake baby bottle story I asked if I could have his tickets stubs.  He had a diaper or some shit to do so he didn't care.  Took the stubs up to the usher and told him we had to run out of the stadium to get our drunk friend a cab or some shit and the usher just let us in.  We wound up staying for the whole game and saw the DBacks beat the Phillies.  It was great.

Bikini Girls Boat Crash is Funnier than one would expect

Don't even act like you refrained from laughing.  It doesn't make you a bad person.  It makes you a human being.  And watching assholes in their power boat lose their shit to a wave to the remix of "Turn Down For What" is internet gold.

Alabama Grocery Store Advertises Jameis Winston Crab Legs

Those crab legs look mighty tasty!  Jack's Foodland Supermarket in some town in Alabama I dare not care to even look up advertised these "Jameis Winston King Crab Legs" as a joke but it caught fire on social media yesterday.  Larry Smith, the owner, says he only made one label (wink wink) and posted it on their Facebook store page and it soon took off.  Smith is an Alabama fan and as you probably know Winston is an Alabama native and was considered a recruiting steal for FSU when they took him from the grasps of Nick Saban and Bama two years ago.  Jack's Foodland has now been receiving all kinds of media attention since the crab legs went viral and why not?  This shit is funny.

Speaking of going viral our FREE SEAFOOD UNIVERSITY Shirt has been a hot item since it's debut on Wednesday.  This shirt is guaranteed to get people talking and girls are drawn in to it like a moth to a flame.  In other words guys or gals if you are looking for the perfect shirt for the summer going into the fall this is it.

The In"FAMOUS" Free Seafood University Shirts

Get the one and only Free Seafood University shirt at SportsCrack.com

This graphite 50/50 cotton polyester blend shirt has a soft vintage feel to it.  It's also tagless.  Don't be a Criminole and pass up the chance at owning a Classic Free Seafood University Shirt.

Kenny Powers Makes An Appearance on MLB 14 The Show Game Commercial

While I agree with Kenny Powers that baseball is better than most if not all of sports I gotta go devil's advocate here.  Playing video game baseball sucks.  Granted I haven't played video games in a long time because unfortunately I had to grow up and become a part-time alcoholic while being a full-time Dad but back in the day Madden, NBA Jam, Tiger Woods golf, even Fifa soccer blew the fucking doors off any baseball game.  Maybe things I have changed and MLB 14 The Show is the greatest sports video game of all-time but I seriously doubt it.  Too much thinking involved in baseball.

Jameis aka "The Crustacean Sensation" Winston Addresses the Media over Crabgate

Nothing to see here folks.  Jameis Winston has faced the music and will now serve 20 hours of community service for his shellfish act.  He is also suspended from the baseball team which makes you think it was all a part of the master plan by Jimbo Fisher.  You can't have the Heisman Trophy winner serving a suspension during football season.  Especially not for a big time revenue generating sport like college football.  We will see you in the fall InFamous Jameis.

Gotta admit I was kind of disappointed to hear Red Lightning was involved.

Jameis Winston Cited for Shoplifting Crab Legs At Publix

Go ahead and put this in the memory bank for headlines you never thought you would read.  Reigning Heisman Trophy winner Jameis Winston was caught stealing crab legs at Publix.  No bull shit according to Tomahawk Nation...

Florida State quarterback Jameis Winston was issued a citation Tuesday for shoplifting crab legs from Publix, according to multiple sources. Winston, the reigning Heisman Trophy winner, is a red-shirt sophomore for the Seminoles.

"He got an adult civil citation," a trusted source inside Tallahasse Police told Tomahawk Nation. "If he completes the sanctions it will never show up on his record. They commonly give them to juveniles on first criminal offenses. They are now doing it for minor misdemeanors for adults to lower crime rate"

Well this gives new meaning to FSU and the Seminoles.  Not only can we bring back the always classic "Criminoles" shirts for public ridicule but also I feel a Free Seafood University shirt needs to be done.

Just another shellfish act by young Jameis.

New Jose "Yogi" Abreu South Side Chicago 79 Throwback Shirt

Chicago White Sox slugger Jose Abreu has already shattered Albert Pujols rookie record for homers and RBIs in a month and the first month of the season isn't even over.  Abreu's teammate Adam Eaton has called him "Yogi" because he is a bear of a slugger.  We agree.  Get the one of a kind "Yogi South Side 79" Throwback Shirt exclusively at SportsCrack Tees.

Rihanna Shows Off Her Pierced Boobs

CLICK HERE FOR THE NSFW PHOTOS

Before you even ask "what does this have to do with sports?" may I point out that Rihanna once dated Dodgers centerfielder Matt Kemp...so yeah...she has some connection.  So it was my duty to point out that Rihanna has gone from Kemp to showing off her pierced nipples in a French magazine called LUI.  Moving up in the world!

Yankees Fans Boo Robinson Cano to his Face

You honestly can't blame Yankees fans here.  Star second baseman Robinson Cano left the friendly confines of Yankees Stadium for more money on the west coast.  $240 million to be exact over 10 years.  I mean what an asshole that Cano is.  It's not like the Yankees whole roster with the exception of Jeter is made up of players who did the same exact thing to their former teams by taking pinstripe dollars.  Nope.  Poor Yankees fans.  I feel for you guys.  I hope to never feel that hurt.

Fuckers.

Jeremy Lin Sure Does Love to Travel

How the fuck was this not called?  I counted at least 7 steps.  Last time I checked you have to dribble the ball to go that far with it.  This Jeremy Lin non travel call just proves me point.  The NBA is hot garbage.  I would rather watch Golden Girls reruns than this shit they call the NBA playoffs.

/ Team NHL Playoffs Guy

Warriors Fans React To Los Angeles Clippers Owner Donald Sterling's Racist Comments

I laughed out loud.  So did you!  If not you are a racist.

Ryan Braun is Still a Great Teammate, Strikes Jean Segura With a Bat

The Hebrew Hammer is still hitting people where it hurts.  Ryan Braun is fresh off his steroid suspension and at this point is trying to get any good publicity after lying to the public.  Well his bat has been doing most of the talking so far in Milwaukee to the tune of .318 with six jacks and 18 driven in.  Not bad for a now self admitted cheater.  But just to prove how much of a cock sucker Braun is he decided to hit his teammate SS Jean Segura on the head with old Louisville Slugger.  Sure Braun will play it off as an unfortunate accident and say Segura was in the wrong place at the wrong time just like that urine cup collector but we all know this was no accident.  The bat don't lie.

Baseball Porn: Andrelton Simmons Defensive Highlights

As an Atlanta Braves fan I sometimes take what 24-year-old Platinum Glove winner Andrelton Simmons does with his glove for granted.  "Simba" as he is affectionally called has the best glove, the best range, the best arm, and the best instincts by any major leaguer in the game today.  Simmons makes plays look so easy even when they clearly are not and he isn't a flashy me first guy like Yunel Escobar that he sometimes goes unnoticed.  He shouldn't.  Simmons is right up there with "The Wizard" Ozzie Smith for best defensive shortstop that I've ever seen play the game.  His highlights are baseball porn worthy and he's quick as a cat.  Simba is a rare breed who is worth the price of admission just to say you say him play.  Like watching Gretzky take the ice, MJ take the floor, and Montana break the huddle you know something special is going to happen when Simmons puts his Rawlings rawhide on his left hand.

Twins' Chris Colabello Hits HR For Mom on her Birthday

Talk about delivering the perfect birthday present for Mom.  Minnesota Twins' Chris Colabello does not disappoint.  The only problem is now Mom is going to be expecting bigger and better things every year.  Like you can't get anything better than a homer from your son right as the sideline reporter in interviewing you.  It's just not possible.  So next year when he delivers flowers and a kiss or whatever the fuck you give to your Mom on her birthday the look of disappointment in her eyes could be soul crushing.  Colabello might as well just cut his losses and become an Alaskan Ice Trucker.

Mike Trout Steals Bryce Harper's Thunder Once Again With Diving Catch

Ever since Bryce Harper graced the cover of Sports Illustrated at the age of 16 as the next sure fire superstar in making Mike Trout has taken it as his personal goal to steal all the thunder away from the Clown Question bro.  Not only has Trout been the best all-around player in the game without question (don't even fucking argue with me on this because you will make yourself look like a simpleton) his first two seasons and really it's fucking highway robbery he doesn't have two MVP awards to show for it but that is a discussion for another day.  The reason why Trout doesn't get the accolades or notoriety of a Harper is only because Bryce plays on a better team on the east coast.  That's it.  Trout is better at all facets of the game.  Speed, power, fielding, running, hitting, diving, smiling, spitting, farting you name it Trout does it better.  This doesn't make Harper a shitty player by any means.  That's not what the point of this post is.  I'm just saying Trout is like Superman and Harper is like Captain America.  Both are extraordinary but I will take the guy who can fly into fucking outer space over a guy with a shield any day.

Best NBA Bench Reactions

It's like watching black people react to a David Blaine magic trick.  The reaction is always funnier when they are running around in circles screaming and shouting "oh no you didn't!"  Every.  Single.  Time.

University of Arizona Knows How to Throw a Pool Party

I know what you are thinking...I went to the wrong damn school.  And you are right unless you went to Tuscon as an undergrad and enjoyed the epic pool parties.  Tuscon so hot right now.  Tuscon.  Bear Down bitches!

Video via BroBible

Meet ESPN's Newest It Girl: Britt McHenry

Mute the sound and take a gander at Britt McHenry, a new ESPN talent who will be reporting from her "home" base in Washington D.C.



Now before you slam McHenry as just another pretty face who can't do her job correctly keep in mind she has a Masters degree in journalism from one of the top schools in the nation in Northwestern.  Britt was also a fairly successful D1 soccer player in college and has been working her way up the ladder so to speak while working as a sports reporter and anchor at WJCA in Washington.  She temporarily took a job as a sideline reporter for the San Diego Padres but didn't feel the fit was right before going back to D.C.  Now she will be telling us the latest and greatest in regards to RG3, Bryce Harper, and John Wall among other stars in the D.C. Sports Market for ESPN.

She's got the SportsCrack stamp of approval.  I look forward to listening her talk about the Nats getting swept once again by the Braves in the near future.