WEEKEND PICKS
Sorry, these picks are a little late because I've been too preoccupied staring at the girls pictured above. The wonderful picture is courtesy of BarstoolSports. Time to lose some money and get drunk at the same time while your girlfriend bitches at you while going back for your 20th beer. God I love College Football Saturdays.

WAKE FOREST(-1) AT VIRGINIA
The Wake have been playing good to great football since they lost their first two games and Virginia has been slipping by opponents till last week. I'm playing the law of averages and think Wake Forest will be able to handle Virginia easily. Take Wake with the points.

NAVY AT NOTRE DAME(-3)
Notre Dame is horrible this year but they finally had a week off to prepare themselves for something other than an ass kicking. Navy lost to Delaware last week and their defense is undersized and they lack depth at every position. The Irish will run the ball with reckless abandon. Take the Irish with the points at home.

UCLA(-1.5) AT ARIZONA
Karl Dorrell's job is on the line and the Bruins are a Jeckyl and Hyde team. This week I think they will be the good team. Take UCLA with the points on the road.

TEXAS(-3) AT OKLAHOMA STATE
Texas is a better team. Again, the Longhorns are a better team. They are men too. Take the Longhorns with the points on the road.

MARYLAND(+2.5) AT NC STATE
The Wolfpack are bad and the Terps are okay. The Terps will be bowl eligible this season thanks to a road win in Raleigh. Take the Terps as the underdog.

LSU(-7) AT ALABAMA
The Saban Bowl is a matchup of mismatches. LSU is clearly the better team and will take a close game in the third quarter and wear out the Tide by the start of the fourth quarter. Take the Tigers with the points on the road. Oh yeah, fuck Saban.

MISSOURI(-4) AT COLORADO
I've been back and forth all week with this game. I know the history, Mizzou doesn't win in Boulder. But this year is different. Mizzou is clearly the better team on the field. I will go with Chase Daniels and the points on the road.

ARIZONA STATE AT OREGON(-7.5)
I think the Ducks are going to blow them out in Eugene. Take the Ducks and the points.

RUTGERS(+1) AT UCONN
UCONN is due for their first Big East loss. Take Rutgers and Ray Rice as the road underdog.

FSU(+7) AT BOSTON COLLEGE
I hate FSU but I think they will actually decide to show up for this game. Don't ask why, it makes almost as much as sense as arguing why Matt Ryan is the Heisman leader. I think FSU will upset BC in Chest"nut" Hill.

OREGON STATE(+15) AT USC
USC hasn't blown out anybody in the PAC-10 in a while. The Beavers know they can beat them. I think USC will win the game, but I'm taking the Beavers as the more than two touchdown underdog.

NFL Picks, yes, I said the NFL, will be posted tomorrow morning or late tonight.

LOU HOLTZ'S PEP TALK TO NAY
It's been a 43 years since Navy beat Notre Dame but tomorrow could change all that. Here is the weekly Holtz' spray talk and don't even bother to ask me what he is talking about...I don't know.

PITT STUDENT BEING CHARGED
The dipshit to the right who threw beer cans on video at Ohio State fans last week will apparently be charged according to the Centre Daily Times. Some of the charges include unlawful use of Bama "Brodie" Bangs, douchebaggery, being a pussy and using a crowd to back you up, improper use of the F word, and unlawful wasting of hangover inducing Natty Boh beer. Oh yeah, and probably assault charges on top of that but those are minor in comparison. I mean seriously, what did these douchebags think they would accomplish by posting this video on YouTube? I kind of feel bad for the little dude. You know he was visiting some of his dipshit friends at Penn State and got wrapped up in the whole "hey, we are in a frat so let's act like dumbasses so people think we are cool" mojo and thought he would be accepted for his douchebag behaviors from his friends if he acted tough. I've seen it before and nobody wins in this type of scenario. Now if you get laid without paying for it immediately afterwards then yes, it was so worth it. In fact if I was the kid I would make up a lie and tell everybody I got layed shortly after just so my Dad would be like "Shut up Nancy, he got layed, good enough reason to throw shit" at a Buckeye. If you haven't seen it or are just coming off an extremely long bender(happens to all of us) well then here is the video again...

RANDOM FAMILY GUY CLIP

I was in Circuit City the other day looking at new cell phones, and yes, like Stewie, it didn't go so well.

SABAN'S #1 FAN
Only two more days till the psychotic Saban Bowl in Tuscaloosa, damn I can't wait to watch some good ole SEC hatred on the ole tele. I want to see blood damnit, you hear me Lundquist? Anyways, I thought I would present this wonderful early November gift of Nick Saban's #1 fan in the whole world...Shine on you crazy diamond...We go bowlin' baby!!!

HT: SIonCampus

Honestly I see no problem being drunk at 6 AM, shit you're an Alabama fan, what else are you going to do?

Don't even act like you didn't rock out to this Bonnie Tyler ballad while rolling up your jeans back in the day.

AMY FISHER SEX TAPE

Wait a second, you trying to tell me Amy Fisher, the girl who "dated" Joey Buttafuoco on the side only to shoot his wife in the head, is a whore? No way! Apparently the Long Island Lolita has a new sex tape out there in order to let the world know her lips flap in the wind and can be louder than a wind chime on a slow breezy day but can be seen for a low price of $19.99.

I know this has nothing to do with sports but I felt it is my obligation to report to the Sportscrack nation when a sex tape emerges. Of course Fisher is not really a celebrity but just a felon who happens to be a whore. But then again so is Britney Spears. Here is the video clip I was sent today (wink, wink)from an anonymous person and be careful because it is 100% NOT SAFE FOR WORK. Even for you Buckeye fans out there sitting in the public library, don't even think about it.

SEPARATED AT BIRTH

Damn, I suddenly have the urge for a Baby Ruth. TheWizardofOdds has their weekly Separated at Birth blog posting and I thought it would be appropriate to show the Frank Beamer one only because I'm a dick. Anyways, I'm actually attending the Georgia Tech/Nerds vs Virginia Tech/not a real "Tech" school matchup tonight at Bobby Dodd. I will be sporting the Nerds shirt so I'm sure I will be getting a lot of high fives from all the international students who go there and don't drink. Fucking pansies. Maybe I should bring all my left over Baby Ruth Halloween candy and throw it at Beamer as he sloths onto the Grant Field. I'm sure it will be an exciting game you know since Tashard Choice isn't playing and Chan Gailey is coaching...yeah, hmmm, did I mention I will be consuming a lot of Natty Lights. By the start of the game after tailgating with my buddy Chuck I'm sure I will be screaming something like this....


Go Nerds!!!

HALLOWEEN PICTURE
I thought I would post a picture from a Halloween party I attended. I'm the
Florida fan, luckily I didn't have to do much to prep myself for my costume. Years of building up gingivitis with my already bad teeth along with a total disregard of cutting my hair in the back(this is how I party people)all I really had to do was put the UlTIMate QB shirt on. Unfortunetly you can't see my sexy hairy legs with my jorts on but I'm sure you would prefer to keep your breakfast down.

Georgia frat boy, Florida fan, Pilot, and Mr. T

TRICK OR BIG TEN POON TREAT?

Our buddy Mac G sent us these wonderful poon pictures from none other than Badger country in Madison, WI. As I mentioned before, Halloween is the perfect holiday for all the closet sluts out there to strip down and show off their thang without feeling the wrath of judging eyes.

God bless the Big Ten Poon. Oh look, it's one of Leinart's leftovers who just happened to make it out for the festivities. If I were her I would have a fake baby popping out of my belly for shits and giggles.

I'm out till tomorrow, HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYBODY!!

FRED FLINSTONE AND BARNEY RUBBLE

This picture was taken today with Darren McFadden and Felix Jones posing as Fred Flinstone and Barney Rubble. Personally I think it would have been much more humorous if McFadden was dressed as a Falcon and Felix as a Dolphin. They might as well prepare themselves to play for a shitty franchise so why not do it on Halloween. Oh wait, they play for Arkansas, they already know what it's like to play for a bad team.

COSTUME OF THE YEAR?

I think the Barstool guys found the runaway winner for best Halloween outfit. You have to love Halloween, it gives the ladies a reason to dress up all slutty and not feel guilty about it.

ANOTHER VIEW OF THE TRINITY MIRACLE

I don't think this clip will ever get old.

HT: TheWizardofOdds

SUPER MARIO BROTHERS CAN'T SAVE THE ROCKIES

Just hearing the theme music brings back memories of a painful, lonely childhood where me, Luigi, and Mario would battle all day to save the stupid Princess. I say stupid because she was such a slut with her fancy little dress and her wandering eyes. Oh fuck, I need to get out more.

HT: Deadspin

APPARENTLY MY WRITING OR VIEWS CAN CAUSE
the blog world to react like this....

Awesome, it's what I have always dreamed of since I quit journalism school, otherwise known as happy hour.

TRICK OR TREAT
Do not come to my house if you want something good to eat...

LOOKS LIKE WILLINGHAM IS NEXT TO BE FIRED
Of course this can only be a case of pure racism on the part of the University of Washington president sending this letter to his fellow alums and fans of the Huskies football program...

UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON
OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT

Mark A. Emmert, President

October 29, 2007

Dear Husky Fans,

I have received email comments from you and your fellow fans about the state of Husky Football. As a native of Washington and a UW alumnus, I know very well the competitive traditions of our university. Like many of you, I grew up with Husky Football. I share your frustration and disappointment with the team’s current position. The same is true of everyone involved with the program.

I also know that the young men on our team are giving the UW everything they have. They are working hard and hanging together during this challenging time. As they do so, I intend to give them my full support and encouragement each and every game. They deserve no less. They are our Huskies, and they should be treated as such. There are five games to be played this season, and our team needs our support.

Sincerely yours,

Mark A. Emmert
President

301 Gerberding Hall • Box 351230 • Seattle, Washington 98195-1230 • 206-543-5010 • FAX: 206-616-1784

I'm not sure why the Huskies would want to fire Willingham. All though it may be true he sucks as a coach considering his record at Washington now sits at 9 wins and 22 losses, and with a loss this Saturday he will be the first coach in Huskies history to have 3 straight losing seasons. But the guy is a tireless recruiter people.

Just look at the class he is bringing in next season which is currently ranked an impressive 45th by Rivals.com. Very impressive Ty. Or maybe it is the 36th ranked class the year before or even the 35th ranked class in 2006. Clearly he is bringing in better athletes every year to remedy the problems at Washington.

When contacted about the rumors of his eventual dismissal and the letter the president wrote to Husky fans, Willingham was again stoic yet eleqount and somewhat forceful with his response on why he is the right man to lead Washington back to gridiron success.

"FFFFFFOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEE"

I couldn't have said it better myself.


Willingham at a recent recruiting visit.

Letter HT: UHND's McSweeney

YOU FILL IN THE BLANK
The Red Sox and Mike Lowell are ___.

I know what you are thinking and yes I agree: only Peter North could shoot such a load.

Picture HT: Awful Announcing

PENN STATE FANS ARE COMPLETE ASSHOLES
You know it's hard to make me feel sympathetic for Ohio State fans and their buckstaches, but after watching this video of Penn State fans wasting good cold beer by throwing it as poorly as Anthony Morelli I now feel a little bad for the Buckeye faithful.

I think we now have a new shirt idea: "Penitentiary State".

What a bunch of dicks! God bless them for supporting such a shitty team.

HT: WithLeather

THE GREATEST COMMERCIAL EVER

Anytime you can use a Top Gun reference you are golden.

SPORTSCRACK TOP 10
We finally had a week full of non upsets so there wasn't much shakeup in regards to the new Sportscrack poll.

1. Ohio State Buckeyes-Absolutely destroyed Penn State in Happy Valley and proved they deserve the recognition as one of the top teams. Yes, the Big Ten blows but the Buckeyes have a really good defense if not the best in the nation. QB Todd Boeckman is third in the nation in QB rating while leading the Buckeyes to an undefeated record so far. Makes you wonder how valuable Troy Smith really was last year, or was he at all? The Buckeyes should be able to handle Wisconsin this week.

2. Oklahoma Sooners-The Sooners had a week off to regroup after a terrible overall performance against Iowa State the week before. This week they have Texas A&M in Norman at night. If Sam Bradford gets back to playing the way he did the first 6 weeks then the Sooners should have little trouble with the Aggies.

3. LSU Tigers-The Tigers had a week off to let Les Miles enormous balls enough time to let the swelling go down. They travel to Tuscaloosa to face Nick the Dick Saban and his new team the Crimson Tide. If they win on Saturday which I expect they will they should cruise the rest of the season into the SEC Championship game.

4. Oregon Ducks-I thoroughly enjoyed watching the Ducks beat USC while flipping in between the Georgia/Florida game. Jonathan Stewart proved again why he is the 2nd best back in the nation behind Darren McFadden and what else can you say about Dennis Dixon? Talk about coming out of hardly any expectations and proving himself as one of the best QBs in the nation this year. This weeks battle with Arizona State will determine not only who wins the PAC-10 but also could determine who is playing in the BCS Title game.

5. Boston College Eagles-Great win on Thursday night in Blacksburg. Lucky to recover an onside kick, I have to hand it to the Eagles for not giving up and scoring two late touchdowns to steal the game. They have the Criminoles this week in Chestnut Hill and we all know how big of a mess they are still.

6. Arizona State SunDevils-Well there is no doubting Dennis Erickson and his ability to revive a program. Rudy Carpenter is a little banged up with a sprained throwing thumb and could have a tough time in Eugene this week. Actually I think he will have a real tough time with the Ducks with or without a good thumb.

7. West Fuckin Virginia Mountaineers-Rocking and rolling since the loss to South Florida, West Virginia has a week off to prepare for Louisville next Thursday night. If they destroy the Cardinals as I expect then they are in the thick of the BCS Title talk once again.

8. Kansas Jayhawks-Aqib Talib is one of the best defensive players I have seen this year. I'm serious. The guy is a shutdown corner and reminds me a lot of Champ Bailey when he was at Georgia. The Fighting Manginos continue to roll and play Nebraska this week. It could get ugly, very ugly.

9. Missouri Tigers-Colorado has ruined a lot of seasons for the Tigers and this Saturday in Boulder could be another one.

10. Georgia Bulldogs-I had no problem with the way the Georgia players reacted after scoring their first touchdown against Florida. The college game is all about passion and emotion and the Bulldogs finally let loose on the Gators and showed they are a legit contender for the SEC East.

HT: DeepSouthSports

Just missed the cut: Michigan, Texas, Connecticut, Florida, Alabama