URBAN MEYER: "I'M NOT GOING TO NOTRE DAME. EVER."

According to the SunSentinel.com Florida head football coach Urban Meyer has all but squashed my wet dream of coming true:

At last weekend's Bob Dooley Invitational, a fundraising event put on by Gainesville Sun columnist Pat Dooley, Meyer announced "I'm not going to Notre Dame. Ever."

What an a-hole! How could he not want to leave hot and humid Gainesville for the bleak coldness of South Bend? It just doesn't make sense. Sure the Gators have more talent and he has won 2 National Titles in 3 years while playing in the toughest conference in the nation but it's Notre Dame. The Gipper played there. Jesus tailgates there. What is the world coming to when the most successful coach in college football no longer wants to coach at the most prestigious university not named Stanford?

Actually I think I know why Urban said he isn't going to Notre Dame. It's because Charlie Weis finally has a squad full of talent, depth and experience and with their weak ass schedule this year they have an outside shot at going undefeated. Sure this is coming from a Notre Dame fan but who besides USC is really that good on their schedule this upcoming season? Michigan blows. Not one other top 25 team is on their schedule. So stay put Urban and win your 3rd title in 4 years.

/wipes tears away

SAY IT AIN'T SO: TONY ROMO DUMPS JESSICA SIMPSON

I know it comes as a shock to all of you, but prepare yourself by sitting down and adjusting your Tampax. This is going to be rough for both of us. The inevitable has happened. Tony Romo, star choke artist quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys has dumped Pop Star/Reality "Star" Jessica Simpson a day before her 29th birthday. I know the horror of it all is really hard to take but there is some explanation according to the New York Daily News...

"She is heartbroken," says the source. "She loves Tony. But it's been difficult lately. He's busy with his career and she's getting ready to shoot her show (The Price of Beauty). They decided to part ways."

Wait a second here. Simpson has a show coming out called "The Price of Beauty?" Poor girl. It must suck to have enormous fun bags that have earned her so much more money than an actual talented ugly person would have. Think of the Kelly Clarkson's of the world and how they feel Jessica. I think Romo dumped her because she is approaching the big 3-0 in less than a year. When you are QB of the Dallas Cowboys, no matter how pitiful your post-November NFL record is, you don't settle for washed up Pop Stars nearing their 30's. You turn her in for better "Road Beef." It's the law of the Dallas Star.

BROCK LESNAR IS A BAD MOFO

Frank Mir's face looks eerily similar to unrefrigerated three day old pastrami. I would say Brock Lesnar won the UFC 100 fight fair and square. And by fair I mean gay. Too much men wrestling for my liking.

FORMER #1 PICK MATT BUSH IS DOING GREAT

This is what happens when you get drafted by the San Diego Padres. Your world starts to crumble as your baseball skills and ability to stay sober without crying vanish. Let this be a lesson to everybody that there is crying in baseball. Bush league move if you ask me.

KATE FROM JON AND KATE PLUS 8 IS DOING GREAT

Kate Gosselin Match.com Profile Video - watch more funny videos

I figured since I posted the Jon one a couple of weeks ago why not see how Kate is doing on Match.com. You got to love the backwards mullet guys. It's great to know a haircut derived from Alabama backwoods country can make it all the way to mainstream America.

SEE YA SOON FRENCHY!

The Atlanta Braves have traded young but inconsistent RF Jeff Francoeur to the hated New York Mets for Ryan Church. It sucks to see a Georgia native leave the team but it needed to be done. Frenchy needed the new scenery and I am genuinely pulling for him to do well except when he plays against the Braves of course. You can't knock the kid for not trying, it always seemed to me at least he put in a 100% effort and hustled and wanted to win with the Braves. But things didn't work out for obvious reasons: Terry Pendleton. All kidding aside I don't think Church is the answer in right field but I sure as hell think that Jayson Heyward will be. Heyward is currently the #1 prospect in all of minor league baseball according to Baseball America but he won't be up in Atlanta till 2010 at the earliest.

RUNNING OF THE BULLS NOT SO MUCH FUN FOR THIS GUY

Via The Big Lead comes the news of the first fatality since 1995 from the running of the bulls...

"A man died after being gored in the neck during the annual running of the bulls in Pamplona, Spain, the Navarra regional government said Friday on its Web site … [he is] a Spanish man, Daniel Jimeno Romero, age 27, from the Madrid area who was vacationing in Pamplona with his family.”

Count me in the group of people who never really understands why these people get in front of a loose bull and don't expect something bad to happen. I guess you could call me a pussy but I don't see the thrill in running away from a raging bull. If I am in Spain I would rather be sitting on a beach or in a cafe drinking a beer and kicking back. Not running away from a fucking bull. I'm always the guy rooting for the bull in these situations too. You don't fuck with an animal as big as a bull and expect to come out unscathed. I went to a bullfight in Mexico about ten years ago. I honestly had no idea they killed the bull till I got there. It was pretty fucking gross and brutal. Since then I've always been on the "Toros" side. Here is a helpful hint if you don't want to get gored in the neck by a bull: DO NOT FUCK WITH ONE.

Now excuse me while I finish my hamburger.

HAWAIIAN HITMAN HIS MISSION: DESTROY USC SHIRT

If you are a Notre Dame fan then I think this shirt needs little if any explanation. The new Hawaiian linebacker is considering taking a mission but we all know what that mission has become: DESTROY USC.

The shirt is available in navy or irish green for the low price of $17. A portion of all sales goes to the American Cancer Society. Hopefully someday we can HIT cancer hard enough to eliminate it. Thanks for the support!

FRIDAY MUSIC SELECTION

I have been on a heavy Eddie Vedder kick ever since I saw him live a few weeks ago. The habit is getting a little out of control. Just the other day I called my dog "Daughter" as he was barking at me and then cursed politics for being all political and stuff. So this is it for a while. Pearl Jam is shown performing "Crazy Mary" at the House Of Blues in Orlando in 2003.

ANOTHER REASON WHY COLLEGE FOOTBALL IS GREAT

Notre Dame gunner Mike Anello, a former walk-on who plays every play like it's his last...


Via Blue-Gray Sky comes this video of Notre Dame special teams extraordinaire Mike Anello who some describe as a modern day "Rudy." Anello was a walk-on like Rudy Ruettiger and has a similar build (generously listed at 5'10, 170 lbs) but unlike Rudy he has earned a scholarship and for good reason: the guy is a tackling machine. Just another reason why I can't wait to watch some college football. Gotta root for the little guy!

OBAMA THANKS RUSSIA FOR OVECHKIN

I can see why Obama wanted to thank Russia for Washington Capitals star Alexander Ovechkin. He is the best hockey player in the world and he makes hockey in our nation's capital bearable. On a personal note I want to thank Russia for Stoli and supermodel Natasha Polevshchikova for making my life bearable...

DANIEL MURPHY'S BEHIND THE BACK FLIP

Play of the night goes to the Met's Daniel Murphy for this ridiculous behind the back flip to the pitcher to get the out.

NATIONALS BASEBALL IS HALF ASS

The Washington Nationals are to the MLB what the Washington Generals are to the Harlem Globetrotters. They can't win...ever. Even in the simple fundamentals such as sliding into second base. They don't even know how to get there. Eventually the Nationals will be good when ever Stephen Strasburg signs...oh yeah...that might not happen if agent Scott Boras aka Satan's fart gets his way. This is what happens when you accept damaged goods from Canada. Beady eyes and shitty baseball.

Video HT: WithLeather via DC Sports Bog

THIS MAKES ME SLEEP BETTER AT NIGHT

ESPN's Jerry Crasnick has a good article on the Orioles young outfield nucleus of Nolan Reimold, Adam Jones and Nick Markakis. We may suck balls again this year (last place in the AL East heading towards 12th consecutive losing season) but the future looks bright with all 3 of these guys around for a long time. The pitching will get better as soon as Chris Tillman, Jake Arrieta, and Brian Matusz are called up from the minors. All 3 of those guys have legitimate shots at being future aces for the club and rookie Brad Bergesen has been very impressive in his first season.

Just have to remain positive Orioles fans. That or drink a lot of beer. In MacPhail We Trust. He even has Markakis doing circus tricks just to get fans out to Camden Yards...


My patience has run thin but at least I know the Orioles are finally heading in the right direction with all these young players.

NOTRE DAME GETS DEFENSIVE END JUSTIN UTUPO

Notre Dame recruiting continues to roll with the punches after they landed their 10th commitment today in the 2010 recruiting class with California defensive end Justin Utupo. Utupo is a very important commitment in that the Irish are always in desperate need of defensive lineman especially ones with the physical and speed presence at strongside end that Utupo possesses.

In just the past week or two Notre Dame has gotten a QB in Andrew Hendrix, a defensive end in Blake Leuders, and two defensive backs in Lo Wood and Chris Badger. There is little doubt that Charlie Weis and his staff are doing an excellent job of bringing in recruits despite a combined 10 wins in the last two seasons.

I've already gone on record as saying Notre Dame will beat USC on October 17th, 2009 due in large part by the type and quantity of elite football recruits that are now starters at Notre Dame. This isn't your bend over Notre Dame team with speed and strength anymore. These kids can play. Now it's just a matter of the coaches putting them in the right spot to execute.

JON GOSSELIN NOW ON MATCH.COM

Match.com-Jon Gosselin - watch more funny videos

It's good to see a reality star get on one of those dating services. Refreshing to the people who don't have 8 kids.

HERE YA GO HORNDOGS

It was either post this video of Bar Refaeli rolling around naked or talk about Roger Federer winning his 15th major. Sorry Federer but Bar wins out.

TOP 10 STARTING PITCHERS

After watching Tim "The Freak" Lincecum's throw yet another gem the other night I thought to myself who would I rather have starting a game right now. I came up with some names but right now the 2008 NL Cy Young Winner would be my pick to take the hill if I needed to win a crucial game. Here is my top 10 list and feel free to add or subtract guys in the comment section.


1. Tim Lincecum, San Francisco Giants-He has a legitimate shot at the Triple Crown for starting pitchers (wins, ERA, and K's) and is only getting better. He may be small in stature but right now his hair is growing almost as fast as his legend. He leads the Majors in K's with 141, is second in ERA at 2.23 and is first in a lot of other categories such as complete games, shutouts, innings pitched, and batters faced in the National League. If I had to win a game 7 right now he would be my choice.

2. Zack Greinke, Kansas City Royals-Greinke has a legitimate argument as the best pitcher in baseball right now. He leads the majors in ERA, wins and complete games. Despite a recent rough spot he has been clearly the best pitcher in the American League this year. Zack Attack has brought back some much needed electricity to Kaffmaun Stadium.

3. Roy Halladay, Toronto Blue Jays-"Doc" Halladay is again putting up superb pitching numbers for the Blue Jays. He is top 5 in almost every important pitching category when it comes to starting pitchers. He is a warrior who pitches deep into games and you don't have to worry about pitch counts when it comes to Halladay.

4. Johan Santana, New York Mets-The best lefty in the game right now. Santana has lived up to his contract and expectations since signing his fat contract for the New York Mets in 2008. His change-up leaves hitters flailing and the 2-time Cy Young winner has a good shot of at least finishing in the top 5 for voting for another one for the 6th consecutive season.

5. Dan Haren, Arizona Diamondbacks-Haren is one of the few pitchers who I will stop doing everything at a moment and just watch him pitch. He hits both corners of the plate with varying speeds with pinpoint control. It amazes me that both the St. Louis Cardinals and Oakland A's, two franchises known to make good baseball business decisions in the past, have traded the young pitching ace. At 28 years old is coming into his own and should be a serious contender for his first Cy Young award this season.

6. Josh Beckett, Boston Red Sox-This guy is a bull. His career numbers are not outstanding but if you want to win a game in the postseason there isn't many if any pitchers I would pick before him. He is old school in the way he carries himself. Seems arrogant and cocky but every team would love to have him manning the hill when the game is on the line. Reminds me of a young John Smoltz.

7. Josh Johnson, Florida Marlins-At 25 years old Johnson is establishing himself as an elite starting pitcher on the verge of a tremendous payday. He has never won more than 12 games in a season (rookie year by the way) but his 6'7 presence on the mound is intimidating and he has the stuff to win 20 games a season for a long time. His slider and change-up are very effective with his mid 90's fastball.

8. C.C. Sabathia, New York Yankees-Big C.C. doesn't look like your prototypical pitcher. In fact you would think he would be playing offensive line for the Jets instead of throwing 3 plus pitches for strikes for the New York Yankees. He got the Milwaukee Brewers into the playoffs basically by himself last season and will be considered a big reason why the Yankees make it back to the postseason this year.

9. Felix Hernandez, Seattle Mariners-King Felix has a fastball that reaches mid to upper 90's but what makes him so damn effective is his knee buckling curve. At only 23 years old he has amazing command and poise. He should establish himself as one of the elite pitchers in all of baseball by the end of this season and I am probably being short sided with him as low as 9 right now.

10. Cliff Lee, Cleveland Indians-Lee has had his struggles this season but the 2008 Cy Young Award winner has the ability to bounce back in a big way. His slider is simply filthy and it has a tendency to run into right handed hitters thus inducing broken bats and grounders.



Just missed the cut: Justin Verlander, Detroit Tigers; Edwin Jackson, Detroit Tigers; Matt Cain, San Francisco Giants; Yovani Gallardo, Milwaukee Brewers; Javier Vasquez, Atlanta Braves

YOUR MONDAY MORNING WAKEUP SONG

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY WEEKEND EVERYBODY!

The holiday weekend technically started for me last night. The Atlanta Braves swept the Philadelphia Phillies for their 4th win in a row and are now just 2 games back in the division. Hell yeah! My adult men's rec baseball team destroyed the Tigers last night thus improving our record to 5-2. I missed my first homerun of the season by about 3 feet off the left centerfield wall. Yeah, I think it's time to start juicing old school like Brady Anderson so we don't have to worry about those stupid doubles anymore...I want dingers plus chicks dig the longball. I hope you and everyone around you have a spanktacular 4th of July weekend.

Image HT: Kardashian picture would be hotter if she had sausages on the grill but you get the picture. I think those are Bubba Burgers on the grill...can you say trailer trash? WWTDD via Startracs