CHRIS BOSH AS TALL JUSTICE

Tall Justice with Chris Bosh from Chris Bosh

Bosh put on a hell of a performance as Tall Justice in this clip. Too bad he didn't do the same thing last night on the hardcourt. Of course I'm the idiot who decided to bet on the Heat in Boston. I figured since they got the holy trinity and every media pundit has been telling me how unstoppable they would be this season that it would be easy money. Not so fast my friends! Somehow the old ass geriatric Celtics with Shaq, KG, Pierce and Ray Allen hitting everything with his eyes closed won the game decisively. The fucking trinity didn't help by absolutely stinking up the joint. Well at least the Lakers came back to win my moneyline bet. The only way I can force myself to watch the NBA regular season is by throwing money on the action. Clearly I need to stop.

JOEY FLACCO DOING HIS BEST JERSEY SHORE

Baltimore QB Joey Flacco is straight nailing the Guido look. The guy even has the perfect name already. I can only imagine how many people are going to dress up this year for Halloween as fucking Snooki or the Situation. It's going to be so overplayed and unoriginal that the person dressed up will be just like the characters from the MTV Show. An unoriginal douche.

That's why I'm going as Mark Zuckerberg. I already wear Gap (actually Old Navy, I can't afford Gap stuff) and I got the Jew nose down pretty well. And I do run my own website. I've also been sued. I might not have billions in Facebook stock but I do have thousands of unsold SportsCrack.com t-shirts. Surely they will go up in value like baseball cards have. Yep, Zuckerberg it is. Anybody else who dresses up like him is either a rich Silicon Valley prick or just copying my style.

Flacco image via TheBigLead via BaltimoreSun

NEW LEBRON JAMES NIKE COMMERCIAL

Personally I got no fight in this pony show. I'm not a big NBA guy and I don't really care for Lebron James or the Miami Heat. I root for the Atlanta Hawks but it's not like I have season tickets or follow any teams like I do college football, MLB, NHL, and the NFL. In a way I can see why Lebron left Cleveland. It's a shithole that is cold the majority of the time. Most people who leave Ohio never come back. There's a good reason. Even Drew Carey hates the place now. Now Miami isn't my cup of tea either but it sure as hell is a much nicer place to live. It's not like he picked the Knicks or the Celtics. He decided to go South. Can't blame him. Plus he is getting paid a shitload of money to be on a team with Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh. Try not to pass it up. True he left Cleveland which was his adopted hometown (actually he's from Akron) and a city which embraced him as their own but the guy has been told since he started staring at girl's butts in middle school that he is the greatest thing to walk the earth. His Mom banged Delonte West for fuck's sake. He had to get out of Cleveland. He knows his legacy is nothing without titles and despite his greatest attempts while wearing a Cav's uni he wasn't going to get one. So now he is in Miami wear he can bang all the Latino's his heart desires and legitimately compete for NBA Titles. To me it doesn't matter other than the fact he chose not to play in Atlanta. I don't see why it matters unless you were or are a Cleveland, Miami or Lebron fan.

In conclusion we all knew the guy was a self appointed "King" so why do we even care to give him the attention he so deeply craves? Because a little piece of us all wants to be just like Lebron. It's fucking sick but it's true.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER PLAYS THE PERFECT DOUCHE

Ben Roethlisberger - Local Commercial - watch more funny videos

CAM NEWTON'S HEISMAN HIGHLIGHT RUN

Auburn quarterback Cam Newton is now the clear frontrunner for the Heisman after running wild on a pretty good LSU defense on Saturday. While rushing for 217 yards and 2 TD's in a victory over the previously undefeated Bayou Bengals Auburn has now vaulted to the top of the BCS Rankings thanks to SuperCam. Newton also set the SEC record for rushing yards in a single season by a QB with three games still left on the schedule. This 49-yard romp showed both his power and elusiveness and his ability to put a team on his back and carry them to victory. Is there any doubt that if he was still a Florida Gator then Urban Meyer would still have them undefeated and poised to make a run for a National Title? I didn't think so.

Watch out college football. Cam is coming for you!!!

COLLEGE FOOTBALL WEEK 8 PREDICTIONS

UGA(-1) vs UK
This will be a huge letdown game for Kentucky after beating the Cocks last week at home. Georgia comes in riding high after demolishing Vandy and the Vols and should continue to put a shitload of points on the board. Murray makes a case for second team ALL-SEC.

DAWGS 33 vs Cats 24

Auburn vs LSU(+4.5)
Nobody can stop Camzilla. Nobody. Not even the great LSU defense.
Auburn 21 vs Bayou Bengals 17

Nebraska (-3) vs Oklahoma State
Taylor Martinez and the Nebraska offense looked awful last week. This week they will get their groove back and put a hurting on the Cowboys.
Huskers 28 vs Cowboys 7

Notre Dame(-6) vs Navy
Notre Dame keeps the momentum going and wins this rather easily. Cierre Wood and TJ Jones both have huge games and the Notre Dame defense "contains" Ricky Dobbs.
Notre Dame 31 vs Midshipman 17

Oklahoma(-6) vs Missouri
The Mizzou defense won't be able to stop the Sooners. This game will be over in the first half.
Sooners 42 vs Tigers 21

Wisconsin vs Iowa (-6.5)
Badgers had one of their biggest wins in their history last week when they beat the Buckeyes. Too bad this week they face an Iowa team that is better than the Buckeyes. Adrian Clayborn goes off on the Wisconsin offensive line.
Iowa 24 vs Badgers 10

BRETT FAVRE WRANGLER "DICKHOLES" JEANS

"Even in the womb I was throwing touchdowns passes to my mama's placenta!"...now that is classic Brett Favre. Bravo to comedian Adam Ray for the sketch but I think he had the actual fake dong too big. Favre isn't packing anything over 5 inches. Kind of ruins it for me.

Week 8 is make or break across the country

I want this shirt... Matt... make it happen...
It's available at teenormous.com.

Hey Blake, whoever you are, don't read this. My picks are awful and you are seriously breathing
too much of my good, clean air.

Matt suggested a while ago that I don't just pick, I pick against the spread, so Blake, if you are reading anyway, here's the picks including the spread from collegefootballpoll.com. Vegas basis their numbers on my picks, just so you know. 21 - 8 through 7 weeks. Not too shabby I say. On to week 8.

UGA vs UK (UGA +1)
Last week was a hell of a debut for UGA VII. I'm not having any of this Big Bad Bruce b/s. He's UGA, get it right. UK will know by the end of the game. Derrick Locke isn't playing and though Randall Cobb dismantled South Carolina, let's face it, the Cocks were bound to repeat their yearly disappointment at some point. Aaron Murray has proven that he's a play maker and with a healthy offense, minus the suspended Caleb "Court Date" King, will be happy to go toe to toe with Mike Hartline and the Kentucky offense. The defense seems to finally be catching on to the 3-4 scheme and the Offensive Line and Defensive Line have done a good job of owning the trenches the last couple of weeks. Look for Kentucky to score, but not to score enough. Georgia covers the spread and racks up big yardage in the Blue Grass State.

DAWGS 48 vs Cats 28

Auburn vs LSU (Auburn +4.5)
I'm definitely not Auburn's biggest fan, but Cam Newton is the MVP of the first half of the season and Les Miles has been nothing short of lucky. At some point, the risks that Miles' takes and the mistakes that he makes will catch up to him. Saturday is that point. Cam Newton has been a freak all season. He's tall, athletic, with a unique blend of speed, athleticism, arm strength, and accuracy. The guy is talented, smart, and mature. He is the perfect fit for Gus Malzahn's offense and probably does a better job of playing "Tebow" than Tebow himself did. Auburn also has a stable or running backs, a hell of an offensive line, and one of the toughest defenses in the land. LSU is good, don't get me wrong, but they are having issues at QB, issues at WR, and issues inside of their coach's head. George Bush would make better game time decisions that Les Miles has done this year. Miles' won't get away with simply being lucky this week. Auburn will win, but take LSU in the spread.

War Eagle/Tigers/Plains Striders 17 vs Bayou Bengals 14

Nebraska vs Oklahoma State (Nebraska +3)
Oklahoma State hasn't lost, until this week. Mike Gundy may not want to ask the Corn Huskers to come after him because I'm not sure he's man enough to handle those corn fed, Midwest, men who play for a suddenly relevant Nebraska team. Bo Pelini has done a hell of a job turning the tradition that was into the tradition that is and he's found a hell of a QB in Taylor Martinez. OK State has had a good season and a great run under Mike Gundy, but every year they've seemed to slip up and this will be the week they do in 2010. Nebraska covers the spread and wins the game.

Huskers 27 vs Cowboys 21

Notre Dame vs Navy (Notre Dame +4)
The Fighting Irish are coming off of a win and learning the hang of Brian Kelly's offense a little more each week. Maybe Dayne Crist isn't the perfect QB for Kelly's offense, but he's got a very talented team around him and he's doing a great job of progressing each week. I don't know much about Navy, but I'm an Irish fan and my gut says the little Leprechauns pull one out.

Irish 21 vs Midshipman 13

Oklahoma vs Missouri (Oklahoma +6)
The Big 12 conference is having a great year. They are strong, top to bottom this year, reminding me of just how close they are to competing with the SEC for toughest conference. There are currently 6 ranked teams, 3 of which are undefeated, and the highest ranked of them is looking like a National Title contender week in and week out. Missouri is good, but not good enough. The Oklahoma ground game is ridiculous and Landry Jones has done an amazing job at running the offense. The Sooner D is looking great and while Missouri is undefeated, I'm not sure they've had any tough games before this week. Oklahoma stays undefeated and stays on the road to the title game in January.

Sooners 28 vs Tigers 17

Wisconsin vs Iowa (Iowa +6.5)
This may be the closest Top 25 game this week and is definitely the game that I'm looking forward to the most. While Iowa and Ricky Stanzi have had a great season and are favored in this game, John Clay is going to have something to say about who wins this week. The Badger's O-Line is good and Mr. Clay is good enough to run behind any line in the nation. I think Wisconsin enjoys the underdog role this week and wins another game that they are expected to lose.

Badgers 27 vs Hawkeyes 17

LINCECUM...FUCK YEAH!

Lincecum vs. Halladay tonight...fuck yeah! With the Giants up 3-1 in the series they look to wrap it up tonight with "The Freak" taking on "Doctober." It's do or die time for the Phillies who need to get the bats going if they want to get back to Philly for a game 6. I got my money on Lincecum tonight. There is just something special about this Giants team. You know that good old fashioned feeling where you would do anything to bone her? Yeah I get that with the Giants.

Prediction: Giants 4 Phillies 2

NEW YORK YANKEES FANS ARE CLASSY

Not only do they cheat but they let you know about it. "HEY YOUS WAN'T DIS FUKIN BALL...THEN COMES UP HEARA AND GET IT YA FAT FUCK! FUGEDABOUTIT!!!!"

Image via TheBigLead

Praying for Isaiah...

If you haven't had the pleasure to see this guy play in person, check out the highlights of the #1 rated RB in HS football. I know everyone in the nation is praying for Isaiah, but the Dawg Nation should pray harder. It can't help. Seriously check this guy out!

Isaiah Crowell - Carver-Columbus RB #1

BOBBY BOTTLESERVICE GETS SERIOUS WITH MALARIA

Bobby Bottleservice Gets Serious - watch more funny videos

Saki Bombs Bro!!!

DESEAN JACKSON GETS JACKED UP BY DUNTA ROBINSON

This was basically the one highlight in terms of the Falcons yesterday. Philly crushed Atlanta...again. Both Desean Jackson and Dunta Robinson left the game with concussions.

Halfway Through... Picking Week 7

Photo courtesy of deadspin.com

We're halfway through the season and I'm not doing so bad. I'm 21 - 8 on the season and thinking hard about running the table the rest of the way. If only I could will my teams to win right? Thus far we've seen a great beginning to the season and though I'm not the happiest with my team's performance, I've been thrilled to see a lot of great game thus far and I'm looking forward to a great second half as well. This season will be extra special to me considering it's my son's first of many! This week, I'm going to start with my heart and proclaim UGA victors over Vanderbilt. Go Dawgs!!!


UGA vs. Vanderbilt
The Dawgs needed a win and they exploded in a big way. It's unfortunate that Athens' own Derek Dooley was the roadblock last week. The Dawgs debut a new UGA this week and hopefully hold their own during homecoming. Obviously you know I'm picking UGA over Vandy, but that's a given. What else would I do?!?!

UGA 31 Vandy 10

Ohio State vs Wisconsin
The road to the BCS National Championship was apparently clear for Ohio State but ESPN must have forgotten that Ohio State still has to play Wisconsin, Iowa, and Michigan. I think they have a much tougher road than say Boise State. I'm going to pick Wisconsin in the upset here. I think the Badgers have the D to beat the Suckeyes. If Ohio State doesn't fall here, the Hawkeyes and "Shoelace" will still be calling.

Wisconsin 17 Ohio State 14

Auburn vs Arkansas
The two best QBs in college football are going to have a shoot out and neither QB is in the Pac-10 of the Big 12. Cameron Newton, the 6'6 250 lb former Florida QB has all the tangibles and intangibles. He's a giant of a man and makes Jamarcus Russell's college game look like he was a middle school kid. I don't think there is a more valuable player to their team than Cam Newton and I think he has what it takes to lead Auburn to the SEC and National Championship, but Auburn is still waiting on a team to play around Newton. Mallett and the Razorbacks look good. The receiving corps around the 6'6 240 lb former Michigan QB is as good as it gets. This one is going to come down to who has the ball last. I think we are witnessing two future Pro Bowl QBs in the first of many battles of their careers, but this time I have a suspicion that Auburn is going to come out on top. I don't know where to cheer for the Tigers, War Eagles, or the Plainstriders, but I think the other team from Alabama has what it takes to tough out a shoot out.

Auburn 34 Arkansas 31

Iowa vs Michigan
"Shoelace" may lose more than his shoes against this tough Hawkeye D. Before last week, I would think he was automatic for 300 yards this week, but we know he's not Superman and we know the Hawkeyes are fast and strong. I'm just glad to know that the Little 11 is past a conference where only Michigan and Ohio State are relevant. Yes PsU fans, I forgot about you on purpose. You suck too.

Iowa 21 Michigan 14

Notre Dame vs Western Michigan
Notre Dame is going to win, period. Brian Kelly is looking good, Armando Allen will be a game time decision, but let's face it, he doesn't need to play for the Irish to win this one big. Tailer Jones going to ND over UGA still stings, but at least he picked a good school. Irish win it big.

ND 27 WMU 7

INTRODUCING UGA VIII

Photo courtesy of University of Georgia Sports Communications

This Saturday before the homecoming game against Vandy in Sanford Stadium Georgia will introduce UGA VIII. His registered name is Big Bad Bruce and he is the great-great-great-great-great grandson of the original UGA. This is a dog or shall I say Dawg who doesn't have to lick his own balls. UGA Nation will do it for him.

For more info about UGA VIII check out AJC.com.

FSU VS MIAMI FAN BRAWL

Typical Criminoles vs Convicts fight. The difference is both of these teams suck yet their fans still think they are badass. FSU and Miami haven't had relevant football programs for almost a decade. Pathetic. And fuck Jacory Harris. Besides those two big games he had against FSU and Georgia Tech to start off 2009 he has been terrible as a starting college quarterback. And yes, I am still pissed I bet on Miami to cover at home against FSU. They could have at least shown up and fought. Instead they looked like a bunch of pansies with Randy Shannon leading the way. How he still has a job and got an extension last year is just amazing!

SPORTSCRACK.COM MIDSEASON ALL-AMERICAN TEAM

We have reached the halfway point of the college football season. It's time to acknowledge some of the outstanding performances we have seen so far by coming up with our MIDSEASON ALL-AMERICAN TEAM. Feel free to argue in the comments section if you disagree. Don't be a pussy and piss and moan about it with others without voicing your opinion here. I'm going by the performances of this year alone. I'm not falling for the preseason hype.

QB: DENARD ROBINSON (MICHIGAN)
Yes I know he didn't perform like fucking Superman last week against Sparty but he is still having the best overall season for a QB. He leads the nation in rushing and is 12th in passing efficiency. He's the most exciting player in college football.


RB: LAMICHAEL JAMES (OREGON) AND KENDALL HUNTER (OKLAHOMA STATE)
James leads the nation in rushing yards per game and has the Ducks flying high right now. Hunter has been a straight up pimp for the Cowboys who are also undefeated.


WR: ALSHON JEFFERY (SOUTH CAROLINA) AND JUSTIN BLACKMON (OKLAHOMA STATE)
Georgia WR AJ Green would have been on here if it wasn't for the stupid suspension. Jeffery was unbelievable last week in the huge upset over Bama. Blackmon leads the nation in receiving yards and TD catches.


TE: MICHAEL EGNEW (MISSOURI)
Egnew is having a breakthrough season and since Kyle Rudolph is done for the season he gets the nod.


OFFENSIVE LINE: NEBRASKA
It's almost impossible for me to pick out individuals who have excelled this season on the offensive line so instead the most impressive line I have seen play this year is Nebraska. They open up some big holes for Taylor Martinez to run through and are a big reason why Nebraska has a chance of going undefeated this season.


DE: RYAN KERRIGAN (PURDUE) AND DA'QUAN BOWERS (CLEMSON)
Kerrigan is a beast who has a motor that never stops who leads the nation in tackles for loss. Bowers is a future top 5 NFL pick who despite double teams has 6 sacks.

DT: DRAKE NEVIS (LSU) AND CAMERON HEYWARD (OHIO STATE)
Nevis is just another great LSU d-tackle who has 9 tackles for loss including 4 sacks. He was absolutely dominating last week against the Gators and is the main reason why LSU is still undefeated. Ironhead's kid has been double teamed and triple teamed all season but his presence on the line is a big reason why the Buckeyes defense is so dominant.

MLB: LUKE KUECHLY (BOSTON COLLEGE) AND LAVONTE DAVID (NEBRASKA)
Kuechly has been sensational ever since his freshman season last year. He leads the nation in tackles and has 5 tackles for loss. Not too bad for a 3 star player from Cincy who was never recruited by Notre Dame. David on the other hand was a highly recruited player who came to Nebraska via community college.

OLB: MARIO HARVEY (MARSHALL)
Harvey may be short in stature but holy shit he is a great football player. He is always around the ball and reminds me a lot of Jessie Tuggle. Harvey is my only outside backer because I can't think of any others who have played great this season.

CB: PATRICK PETERSON (LSU) AND STEPHON GILMORE (SOUTH CAROLINA)
Peterson is the best defensive player in the country. Gilmore had two huge sacks against Bama.


SS: AHMAD BLACK (FLORIDA)
The guy is a heat seeking bullet if you ask me.

FS: ROBERT LESTER (ALABAMA)
Continues to make big plays for the Bama defense.

KICKER: BLAIR WALSH (GEORGIA)
Walsh is about as automatic as you can get. Even from 50 plus yards.

PUNTER: ANTHONY SANTELLA (ILLINOIS)
Nobody boots it with as much trajectory, hang time, and distance as Santella.

COACH: CHRIS PETERSEN (BOISE STATE)
Haven't lost a regular season game since 2007 and he wins all of his BCS Bowl games.

NEBRASKA QB TAYLOR MARTINEZ HAS HIS OWN SONG CALLED "T-MAGIC"

I'm not going to lie. This shit is kind of catchy. Nebraska QB Taylor Martinez is only a redshirt freshman but has taken over the QB position unexpectedly and in the process has earned the nickname "T-Magic." In five games he has led Nebraska to a 5-0 record while rushing for 737 yards and 12 touchdowns (leads the nation). Last Thursday night he ripped off 241 yards rushing against Kansas State on a national televised game on ESPN. It set a record for most rushing yards in a game for a Nebraska QB. The kid is basically white lightning. He finds a hole, any hole, and he is going the distance. He's going for speed. He's Taylor Martinez. He's simply "T-Magic."

KYLE RUDOLPH OUT FOR SEASON

Image courtesy of AP

Notre Dame received some bad news yesterday when it was revealed starting tight end and All-American candidate Kyle Rudolph has a torn hamstring that will require surgery. Immediately.

Losing Rudolph hurts. He's the best tight end in the country and is one of QB Dayne Crist's favorite targets. You can't just replace a 6'7 target who rips off 95 yard TD catches like Rudolph. But the Fighting Irish will have to have players step up.

One of the candidates to replace Rudolph are Tyler Eifert who is a sophomore and has been slowed down by a shoulder sprain this season. Eifert is 6'6 and has good hands but doesn't have the blocking skills of Rudolph. Senior Mike Ragone was expected to be the next budding superstar tight end when he was recruited by Charlie Weis to follow in the footsteps of Anthony Fasano and John Carlson. Knee injuries, an off-field incident and Rudolph has hampered his ability to see the field much in his career at ND. Now is his chance to step up. Also waiting in the wings is sophomore Jake Golic.

My prediction is Ragone steps up and takes advantage of this huge opportunity. Ragone has the speed and the skill to be an excellent choice to replace Rudy at the tight end position. He just needs more reps. He should get them and forget about the drop pass he had last week against Pitt. He knows now that if he messes up he will still be given a chance to see the field which I think will do wonders on his confidence.

Losing Rudy for the season hurts the Irish today but it might help them next season. Rudolph is the nation's premier tight end prospect and was expected to weigh an early entree decision into the NFL draft after his junior season. Now with the expected recovery time of 4-6 months from the hamstring surgery it appears it would be in his best interest to come back for his senior season and rehab while getting his degree.

BRAVES NOT WASTING TIME: FREDI GONZALEZ WILL BE NEW MANAGER BY THURSDAY

Photo courtesy of AJC.com

Only a day after the Braves were eliminated from the playoffs in which we watched Bobby Cox wave his final goodbye to the Atlanta home crowd after 25 seasons as "The Skipper" news broke yesterday that Fredi Gonzalez would be named his replacement starting tomorrow.

Fredi Gonzalez has been hired as the Braves' new manager and will be introduced at a news conference Thursday, two people familiar with the negotiations confirmed.

This comes as no surprise. Ever since Bobby Cox announced he would be retiring at the end of the 2010 season Gonzalez has been the rumored frontrunner. Gonzalez's dismissal from the Marlins in June only fueled the flames of change. Fredi seems to be the perfect choice to replace Bobby. He was the third base coach under Bobby from 2003-2006 after managing the Braves AAA club in Richmond. He got to experience the Atlanta clubhouse and the way things are run in the organization and has a pretty firm understanding of the culture. He also has the experience of coaching a MLB team in the Florida Marlins for 3 seasons before being fired. He was named the Sporting News Manager of the Year in 2008 after leading the Marlins to a winning record despite having baseball's lowest payroll. Fredi also has the support of veterans in the Braves clubhouse such as Chipper Jones, Tim Hudson, and Brian McCann.

Personally I think Fredi is a great choice to replace Bobby. The most logical choice too. The Braves still have a lot of pieces in the clubhouse coming back next season that are ready to compete for a division title. Fredi knows how to run a team and doesn't take shit from his players (example: benching Hanley Ramirez for not hustling) but still has the respect from the team as a whole. The Braves will have Huddy, Derek Lowe, Tommy Hanson, and Jair Jurrjens all in the rotation and if they can add some pieces to the lineup (Carl Crawford would be perfect, so would Jayson Werth) and get back a healthy Chipper Jones and Martin Prado along with the development of budding stars Jason Heyward and Freddie Freeman there is no reason why the Braves shouldn't compete for at least a Wild Card in 2011.