TOP 10 CFB SPORTSCRACK POLL

1. Alabama Crimson Tide-Bama is your new #1 for this week after coasting to an easy win over Arkansas State and benifitting from the Longhorns loss. I'm not convinced this Bama team is a great team but right now they are the only undefeated SEC team and if they beat LSU in Baton Rouge this week they have a great shot of going into the SEC Title with no losses. I think LSU and the home crowd will be ready for Saban's "homecoming" and it should be a close game.

2. Texas Tech Red Raiders-They beat Texas. Granted they needed a touchdown with one second left on the clock to squeeze it out, they dominated the tempo of the game and it was not a fluke win. Graham Harrell had the poise and calm demeanor of a Tom Brady and Michael Crabtree proved to the nation why he is the best receiver in the country. They are going to need to bring their A game this week with a tough Oklahoma State program looking to stay in contention for a Big 12 Title game. I wouldn't be surprised if both #1 and #2 go down this weekend and totally fucks the BCS yet again.

3. Penn State Nittany Lions-They were off last week after a hard fought victory over Ohio State two weeks ago. They travel to Iowa to play a Hawkeyes team that has been snake bitten in four games this year, losing each by less than 6 points. On paper this shouldn't be a cake walk for Penn State and I expect a big game from Iowa RB Shonn Greene. If Penn State wins they could be the new #1.

4. Texas Longhorns-The Longhorns faced a Texas Tech team that was hitting on all cylinders in Lubbock and if their starting freshman safety Gideon doesn't let the ball slip into between his fingers then they are still the #1 team in the country. A loss is difficult to swallow but the Longhorns are still very much in the running to win the Big 12 South and could squeeze into the BCS Title game if they win out. They need to start by crushing Baylor this week and making a statement that they are still the best team in the Big 12.

5. Oklahoma State Cowboys-WR Dez Bryant is giving Michael Crabtree a run for his money on best receiver in the nation right now. His 4 touchdown catches against Iowa State puts him on pace for 20 this season which would lead the nation. The Cowboys travel to Lubbock(they will now have 3 games on the road against the top 3 teams in the nation at one point) and will be facing a Red Raiders team primed for a letdown. If the Cowboys win Saturday night then you have to give them serious consideration for a BCS Title game appearance.

6. Oklahoma Sooners-Absolutely destroyed Nebraska and now travel to College Station to presumably do the same to Texas A&M. They get Texas Tech in two weeks..holy shit, the Big 12 South is absolutely loaded this year. If any team comes out of the Big 12 with a conference title and only one loss then they should be playing in the BCS Title game. No questions asked.

7. Florida Gators-The Gators beat the living shit out of UGA in Jacksonville and are now in the driver's seat to win the SEC East. They need to win out and hope they beat an undefeated Alabama team in the SEC Championship to have a shot at the BCS Title game. Right now the Gators might be the best team in the country with the way they are dominating but they still need a lot of help to move up in my ranking because of the home loss to an unranked Ole Miss team.

8. Utah Utes-Still undefeated despite barely getting by a bad New Mexico team 13-10. One could make the argument they were caught looking ahead to tomorrow's huge game against TCU which will determine which of those two teams reaches a BCS Bowl game. If Utah can beat TCU at home then in the perfect storm they could somehow be in the top 5 next week.

9. USC Trojans-People tend to forget that USC is not a cinch to win the PAC-10 this year. They should win out starting this week against an overrated Cal team but if Oregon State wins their last two games then they win the conference due to the tiebreaker win over USC earlier in the season. In other words best case scenario is USC goes to the Rose Bowl and has no chance of going to the BCS Title game.

10. TCU Horned Frogs-They have the best run defense in the country. They gave up 25 yards rushing to Oklahoma a few weeks ago but their 4 turnovers killed them and if they had cut half of those then they could be undefeated right now. They travel to #8 Utah tomorrow and get the chance to prove why they might be the best one loss team in the country.

NO MORE POLITICS...I GIVE YOU HEIDI KLUM

This commercial of Guitar Hero makes me actually want to buy one if I still played video games today. Supermodels in lingerie have that effect much more than Kobe and A-Rod dancing around in their underwear. Those advertising gurus for Guitar Hero are genuises.

Big Ben Hurts his Vagina

The Steelers had a big win last night in Washington, but it was not without a loss. Big Ben Roethlisberger was injured on a quarterback sneak close to the end of the second quarter of Pittsburgh's 23-6 victory against those crazy Indians. But, "my friends," this was not the big story. It appears after an MRI this morning that Roethlisberger not only aggravated his shoulder, he also tore a few muscles in his vagina. Teammates aren't too sure when the freak accident actually took place, but they are highly suspicious that the Redskins' cheerleaders played a small role in the incident.

Last week Big Ben's little Ben started to get scared. He was overheard stating...

“I’m not a big fan of playing there because it is loud, they’re really good at home and they try to make their cheerleaders stretch in our tunnel before we come out of the locker room. That’s just not good.”

WHAT!!?? Are you kidding me? Cheerleaders are going to distract you to the point where you are scared to play in D.C.? If he was a real man he would approach one of the hot-ass cheerleaders stretching in front of him, grab her ass, and say, "Hey there little foxy lady, how about I throw a touchdown pass for you tonight, then I'll go deep in your endzone after the game." Turn that distraction into a positive thing. Make it an inspiration. Show off for her!

Seriously, you're in the NFL and you can't handle some hottie showing off her assets for you? You're in the NFL. Go out and bang these hot cheerleaders. Live for suckers like me, stuck at home married, and jerking off every day to stay happy.

CHRIS BERMAN INTERVIEW WITH BARACK OBAMA

Or as my Georgian right wing Christian friends would say, Berman interviewing a "Socialist Muslim terrorist who just happens to have the middle name of Hussein, I mean come on, he is the enemy."

This is for you guys. Get over it. You will get to elect the MILF in 2012.


Video HT: Deadspin

Okay, so that isn't the real interview but if you did actually watch the real one and you are a college football junkie like myself how could you not get a little chub when Obama mentioned 8 team playoff as the one thing he would change in sports? I practically wet myself in delight when he mentioned it. Eight teams is perfect as long as USC is not involved. Can we make that a stipulation. Only then will you have my vote.

HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL PLAY OF THE YEAR

I was up at my Dad's house last night celebrating his birthday with the family and he mentioned this play from Friday night's game between Lassiter and Centennial High School. I don't really follow Georgia high school football anymore because I'm not allowed to be near any school campuses after my tryst with a sophomore girl a few years back. Hey, she looked 18, possibly 17. But all kidding aside this is one hell of a play by Lassiter tight end Philip Lutzenkirchen. I can't seem to recall a play like this ever happening in college or pro ball so I'm sure Lutzenkirchen is enjoying his 15 minutes of fame with tons of strange attacking him from all corners. Good for him.

As a wise man once said, "That is what I like about these high school girls, I get older, they stay the same age"....


High School Video HT: WithLeather via HotClicks

A NEW FAVORITE SITE

I just discovered the new wheel of the sports blogosphere with Hockey-Fights.com now being a major part of my daily sports fix. Even if you are not a die hard hockey fan you have to enjoy a good old fashion hockey fight with some haymakers and upper cuts thrown while players skate on a dangerously thin piece of ice just waiting to feel the impact of the loser in the scrum.

Here is a taste of their latest fight between Sean Avery(tough guy who is a pain in the ass and who might be bisexual, hence the pain in the ass) and Andrew Ference and the announcer going crazy...

"Ference banging Avery...Ference wants more...he wants to rip that guy limb from limb!!"

Now that is how you call a hockey fight. I'm presuming it's NESN's Jack Edwards and it's great to see the little guy who won an Emmy as a reporter for ESPN's Sportscenter back in the day now going crazy for the Bruins.

Anyways, go over to Hockey-Fights.com if you want to catch the latest NHL fight.

PHIL FULMER STEPS DOWN AS HEAD COACH AT TENNESSEE

He finally caved in his chair so to speak. Phil Fulmer, the always classy head coach for the Volunteers these past 17 years and who became the inspiration behind EDSBS's Fulmer Cup is now leaving to go on to bigger and better things. I guess that would mean Dunkin Donuts or death. I don't have much to say about Fulmer or Tennessee for that matter. Never been a fan of either so I will let my correspondent from Alabama sum up my feelings for "that school"....

This of course is bad news for Florida and Georgia fans. Tennessee has been on a spiral staircase to nowhere ever since Kelley Washington enrolled but now if they can get a good head coach (Cincy's Brian Kelly or Duke's David Cutcliffe come to mind) they can quickly turn around the once proud program. As much as I dislike the Volunteers it just doesn't seem right for them to be 1-5 in the SEC this year so I guess getting rid of Fulmer was inevitable. That National Championship season of 1998 seems as old as the Civil War to the Volunteers simple minded folks.

In honor of Fulmer leaving we are discounting all of the Volunqueers shirts to $8 for the next 2 days. It only seems right.

KNOCKERS TRAIL BY 3

Fox's Kenny Albert had a bit of a Freudian slip coming back from commercial break during yesterday's Titans-Knockers...I mean Packers game. I have no idea why he would say knockers. He must have been thinking about the knocking of kids at his door on Halloween night. Yeah, that must be it.

Video HT: FanIQ

GUNS UP HORNS DOWN 39-33 SHIRT

In honor of the Red Raiders upsetting the #1 ranked Longhorns in Lubbock on a last second touchdown catch from Michael Crabtree (Heisman moment) we have come up with this "GUNS UP HORNS DOWN 39-33" t-shirt. On the front of this vintage feel and look black t-shirt is the date of game "November 1, 2008" and the statement "Showdown for the Ages" on each side of the guns along with the "GUNS UP 39-33 HORNS DOWN" slogan. On the back of the shirt it simply says "BEVO IT'S WHAT'S FOR DINNER."

Get these one of a kind commemorative UNLICENSED shirts and celebrate the greatest win ever in Lubbock, Texas before they are gone.

Shirts are available for the low price of $17 at this link.

This guy can't get enough of the shirts...settle down big boy before you blow your load....

LERYN FRANCO GETS ALL WET

There really is no reason to post this other than the fact I thought Sportscrack could use some T n A on this Halloween Day. Franco as some of you may remember was the javelin thrower who captured our hearts or loins as I sometimes call it at the Summer Olympics. You know since it is Halloween I figured as I got older that the holiday would get worse as I could no longer dress up and go trick or treating without being arrested. But it seems every year now girls dress more slutty because it gives them an excuse to bring out their inner whore.

So in essense...

Adult Halloween > Childhood Halloween

I can drink to that...




Video HT: FanIQ via Hot Clicks

NCAA Week 10 Football pick 'em

Last week, I didn't do too bad, but I'd like to do a little better. There aren't as many exciting games this week, but there are a few. I can't wait for the Georgia/Florida Battle down at the World's Largest COCKtail party. I went down there once in college, I think! It was a blast, and I had whiplash after looking at so many fine women pass by. You know, I was going to do 10 picks this week, but seriously, there are a lot of boring match ups this week, so I picked 6 games.

Andrew Cheese-Whistle Merriam's picks-

WVU @ UConn: Do not sleep on the Huskies. This is a different team (literally) than the one who played UNC and Rutgers. They have a redshirt freshman QB who made his first start ever against Cinci on Saturday and threw for 196 yards with no picks. They also have the leading rusher in the country (school record 1,324 yds in eight games) in Donald Brown, a DB who ran back two picks of 28 and 40 yards, another one who ran back a punt, and a kicker who booted a 47 yard field goal into 20mph wind. WVU is good, but so is UConn, and the game is in West Hartford. Edge: UConn.

FL @ UGA (neutral stadium): To me the key to this game is UGA's defense. I know we can score on these guys but the key will be not letting them answer like we let LSU do last week.

FSU @ GT: I think Georgia Tech is overrated and will not strike back after last week's loss.

Oregon @ Cal: The ducks wax these guys, but who gives a shit about this game?

Texas@ Texas Tech: This will be a shootout, but i think the horns will take them. They are on fire right now.

Arkansas State @ Alabama: The tide will roll hard.


Matt Fairchild's picks:

West Virginia at UCONN: I really hate you Cheesewhistle for putting this shitbag of a game on the pick em list. Hands for people who really care for this matchup...oh, just you and that toothless Mountaineer whore. I'm going opposite pick just because you put it on here.

Gaytors vs. Dawgs: I've never been to a COCKtail party because I don't particularly like the taste of cock but I'm sure all the jorts and floppy hair douchebag frat boys sounds like a great time. These teams are pretty much even on paper. Both offenses are on fire and both coaches really don't like each other. Urban is the devil and Richt is a saint. So instead I'm going with the hot girl ratio. UGA girls in a landslide.

FSU at Georgia Tech: FSU has got me coming around so you know what that means? They will fucking choke big time tomorrow. Expect the Ramblin Nerds to be all pumped up and ready to show the ACC they deserve their bull shit crown full of empty promises and candy dreams.

Oregon at Cal: I have seen very little of either team this year and I don't see why that should change this Saturday. I will go with Cal since the Obama loving tree huggers will be too much for the Nikes.

Texas at Texas Tech: I've picked twice against the Longhorns and I have learned my lesson thanks to two empty pockets. Never pick against a steer or a queer. Longhorns win big.

Arkansas State at Alabama: I would love to shit in my pants from excitement if somehow Bama lost this game but it ain't going to happen. Why in the hell did you pick this game too? You must be sick.

I'm going to add one of my own here since it is the game I care the most about. Notre Dame will roll over the Stache in Rock's House tomorrow afternoon. Weis is going to "open up the freaking playbook" and let all of his young weapons including Golden, Floyd, Allen, Jimmy, and Rudolph do their thing. This will be a statement game for all the haters out there.
ND 42 Pitt 21.

OBAMA LOSES ELECTION

Seriously, who wants to wait in line for 2 hours to vote? I got better things to do like watch pornhub.com and eat Cheetos while drinking Natural Light. Stop blaming me people. I'm just a sports blogger.

PHILLIES FANS STILL CELEBRATING WITH FLYING BOTTLES

Nothing says celebration till you take a bottle to the head while hanging for dear life on a traffic light pole on Broad Street.

Video HT: Deadspin

CONGRATS GO OUT TO THE 2008 WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES...PHINALLY!

The Philadelphia Phillies closed out the Tampa Bay Rays tonight to win the World Series in 5 games. It's only the second World Series Championship for the Phillies in their 126 year history so tonight will be a wild and riot filled night in the streets of Philly.

To commemorate the first championship for the city of Philadelphia since 1983 we decided to make a shirt that we think Philly fans can appreciate and wear with great pride. On the front it says "Phucking Phantastic 2008 World Champs" and on the back it takes a razor to the Rayshawk with a "Phuck the Rays" statement.

Here is some fan footage of Ryan Howard carrying the 2008 World Series Pennant...


As always these shirts are at the ridiculously low price of $17 and are as guaranteed as a Brad Lidge save in the ninth to create some laughter when you are booing Santa Claus this Christmas.

Shirt available here

BROAD STREET IS GOING TO BE PHUCKING CRAZY TONIGHT...

TOP 10 CFB SPORTSCRACK POLL

Image courtesy of BurntOrangeNation

1. Texas Longhorns-The Longhorns keep looking impressive after a hard fought victory last week against Oklahoma State in Austin. Colt McCoy survived a couple of costly turnovers late in the game but still had an excellent overall game completing 38 of 45 passes. The schedule doesn't get any easier as they travel to Lubbock this week to face an undefeated and hungry Texas Tech program. If they win this week they will win the Big 12 South division.

2. Penn State Nittany Lions-It wasn't pretty but you got to hand it to Penn State for pulling off a hard fought win in Columbus against Ohio State. They get the week off to prepare for a road trip to Iowa which should be another tough test for the Nittany Lions.

3. Alabama Crimson Tide-I thought the Vols would give them more of a challenge then they did but I was wrong. They essentially have an off week this Saturday against Arkansas State before traveling to LSU. The Tide should win out the regular season with LSU and Auburn down this year and if they can get by Georgia or Florida in the SEC Championship they will be playing for their first National Championship since 1992.

4. Oklahoma State Cowboys-The Cowboys lost and probably deserve to drop some in my rankings but I can't see how or why I should drop them below Oklahoma. This Okie State team is playing great ball right now and were just a couple of breaks away from beating Texas in Austin.

5. Texas Tech Red Raiders-They destroyed Kansas in Lawrence and now get #1 Texas in Lubbock this week. If they win they could and should get some votes for the top spot. Graham Harrell and Michael Crabtree have a chance to make themselves legends with a memorable performance against the Longhorns. It should be a high scoring game that any true college football fan shouldn't miss.

6. Oklahoma Sooners-The Sooners continue to compile points(they haven't scored less than 35 in any game) on offense but their defense is pathetic at times. Their defense has given up over 30 points in each of their last 3 games and despite QB Sam Bradford putting up ridiculous numbers they need to step it up if they are going to have a shot at a BCS game.

7. Georgia Bulldogs-The Bulldogs trio of Matthew Stafford, Knowshon Moreno, and AJ Green looks like the best in the country right now. The Bulldogs showed up and played their hearts out in Baton Rouge and walked away with a much deserved victory. If they can beat Florida this week in Jacksonville they have a legitimate shot of winning the SEC Title and maybe even reaching the BCS Championship.

8. Florida Gators-The Gators absolutely fucking destroyed the Kentucky Wildcats last week behind dominating performances from Tim Tebow and Jeff Demps. Demps is now averaging over 11 yards a carry and the elusive freshman looks like the type of back Urban Meyer has wanted for his offense for so long. Whoever wins the Cocktail Party this weekend keeps their SEC and BCS Title hopes alive.

9. Utah Utes-The Utes were off last week and get to travel to New Mexico before their huge Thursday night showdown against TCU next week.

10. USC Trojans-Their defense looked sick against Arizona. Too much speed for the Wildcats to handle and the Trojans survived a close game by winning 17-10. They should be able to pad their stats this weekend with the Huskies coming to town. Anything less than a 3 touchdown win would be embarrassing for the Trojans since the Huskies might be the worst team in D1 football right now.

HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM

Sometimes the breaks in life just don't go your way but don't tell that Houston wide receiver Patrick Edwards. Fast forward to the 40 second mark and be prepared for a gruesome injury that should have been avoided if the fucking band would have just moved their shit...

Having experienced the same injury my heart goes out to the guy. I can still feel the cold rush flow down my body every time the temperature goes below 60 because of the 2 titanium plates and 21 screws in my lower left leg from snapping my tibia, fibula, and ankle on the last play of...get this...a flag football game. It should have never happened much like Edward's injury last night. If only the band would have moved their equipment then Edwards would still be walking right now. And only if I didn't drink a fifth of Jack Daniels before spitting on that girl who would not give me her number as she kept running away I would still be walking normal today.

Video HT: The Big Lead

NEW SHIRT: WE LOVE OUR JOHNSON

WE LOVE OUR JOHNSON is a shirt dedicated to new Georgia Tech football coach Paul Johnson. He has brought back a winning tradition to the Yellow Jackets by installing the perfect triple option which has gotten the Yellow Jackets off to a fast start. The shirt is yellow haze with black distressed lettering to give it a vintage feel and look. Inside the football on the front are the initials "THWG" which is a salute to their superior for the past decade.

You can order it here for the low price of $17.

KEVIN CRAFT DOESN'T THINK TOO HIGHLY OF SLICK RICK'S PLAYCALLING

The name is Meoff, first name Jack.

Video HT: Adam

DANYELLE SARGENT'S INTERVIEW WITH MIKE SINGLETARY

Just to give you some background information and I actually feel really bad for Danyelle Sargent after seeing this interview. I went to high school with Danyelle so it's always good to see somebody from Milton High School in Alpharetta, GA make it out and do great things in their profession unlike myself. Obviously this interview with new 49ers head coach Mike Singletary is not one of them...

Hey, we all fuck up on our job one way or another. It's just that some of us don't do it on national television. Referring to Bill Walsh who passed away in 2007 much less wasn't even a mentor to Singletary is a huge blunder on her part and doesn't help the manifestation that a Georgia education is one of the worst in the nation.

Danyelle will eventually climb out from under that huge rock she's been under since the interview caught fire on Sunday and run for the Republican Vice President ticket under Sarah Palin in 2012. It just makes too much sense.

Sorry, I need to stop the political jokes, I know. We need to get this election over with so we can all move on. One more week till freedom.

Video HT: TheBigLead

TY WILLINGHAM FIRED

The official language is he will quit at the end of the season but we all know Ty Willingham, molder of destroying collegiate football programs, was going to be fired as soon as this week if he didn't accept a resignation. Look, the Washington Huskies wanted to avoid any sort of outlandish racism claim that some members of the media would print or say on air because Willingham didn't get his 5 years bullshit. I'm sure Ty will get a great severance package just like any other shitty CEO who comes in and destroys a company. Losingham came in to Washington and destroyed football. I'm completely serious.

Watching Notre Dame annihilate Washington Saturday night was like watching a high school team trying to play Division 1 football. The Huskies are a fucking mess and the blame is 100% on Ty's shoulders. He can't be a successful head coach because he can't admit his short comings. He doesn't know how to be a successful recruiter because he cares more about perfecting his golf swing then traveling across the nation and perfecting a recruiting pitch to athletes and their parents. He is lazy when it comes to being a head football coach but yet he will get paid millions of dollars for being totally incompetent and unqualified. Only in America can one guy with so little become so rich at doing something as poorly as Willingham.

With that being said I think he would be a perfect coach for USC if Pete Carroll decides to go to San Francisco and take the 49ers job. After all he did take Stanford to a Rose Bowl so he must be a great coach....