SportsCrack Blog

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

NOTRE DAME BILLBOARD SHOULD HELP RECRUITING



Right above the Linebacker Inn near the intersection of Edison Road and State Road 23 near the Notre Dame campus lies this monstrosity of a billboard. Listen, I get it that people don't like Charlie Weis after the 10-15 record he put up the last 2 years. I will be one of the first to admit that I wanted to ring his fat neck every once in a while. But what kind of asshole buys a billboard to state their opinion which will only hurt Notre Dame? It's not even funny. If DickRod saw this he would breakdown and cry. I'm not joking. Whomever paid for the billboard needs to step up and claim it as their own.

I think we found our man...

OREGON CRIBS

After seeing LSU's facilities yesterday I thought they would be hard to beat. Well, Phil Knight laughs maniacally at your so-called top flight facility LSU fans. Check out their crib...

It must be rough going to Oregon on a football scholarship. It would be for me because I hate Nike cross trainers. They smell like wet trash after two weeks of wear and tear. Pieces of child's tears and unsafe labor laws garbage.

2 MORE DAYS...


Till Jeremiah Masoli and the Oregon Ducks (PAC-10 sleeper) take on BCS killer Boise State Broncos on Thursday night in what should be a shoot out. I'm taking Oregon to win the PAC-10 this year. I just can't get over USC starting a freshman quarterback and replacing all those defensive studs even though I know they are loaded with talent just ready to prove me wrong.

We are doing another year of College Football Pick Em. Go to FunOfficePools.com and sign up, pick the Sportscrack pool, and enter who you think will win this week starting with the Thursday night games. Who ever ends up with the most points at the end of the week wins a free Sportscrack shirt of their choice or you can pick any college or NFL mini helmet. The games are pick em, no spread, and you weigh the games in terms of confidence points. Last year was a success running the pool except for a couple of douchebags who bitched about their shirts not getting there within 24 hours of winning. It's free to enter, there is no spam, and you have a chance to win a free shirt. Pretty fucking sweet if you ask me. So enter now before you get drunk and forget. Hell, most of you probably drink on the job like myself so put down Grandpa's old cough medicine right now, slap yourself a couple of times, and enter those picks. Last year I believe we had over 125 people in the pool. This year I want to at least double that number so tell friends and family about it.

And in case you were wondering the Grand Prize winner at the end of the year gets one night with Kelly Brook...

I promised her family I would release her shortly after December 10th. I know, I'm such an angel.

Monday, August 31, 2009

DICK ROD IS PATHETIC



Tears of a Clown my friends! Tears of a Clown! Dick Rod is so fucking pathetic I almost feel bad for the University of Michigan. He still brings up West Virginia in his press conference...what a fucking moron! How about you follow the rules and try to gain the respect of your players instead of displaying these crocodile tears at some bullshit press conference? I hate Michigan Football but now I just feel bad for them because Dick Rodriguez is just so embarrassing. First a 9 loss season, players transferring at record numbers to get away, players complaining about practice, and now this cry baby bull shit. Too funny if you ask me.

LSU CRIBS

After watching this video of LSU Tiger's offensive guard Lyle Hitt give a tour of the Charles McClendon Practice Facility you can see why all those little southern bayou kittens pick Baton Rouge as their choice of 4-6 years of SEC football to turn into lethal Tiger machines...



If there is one team in the SEC who can beat Florida, especially in the trenches, it's LSU. The Gators travel to Baton Rouge on October 10th for a night game in what very well could determine who is still alive to play in the BCS Title game let alone the SEC Championship.


Video HT: ExtraMustard

SOCCER FLAGS GET MORE ASS...



...than 99.6% of married men. I love the laughter of the cheerleaders as they try to play it off as innocent fun.

MLB PLAY OF THE WEEK


Minnesota Twin's second baseman Alexi Casilla made this incredible flip against the Baltimore Orioles last week while I was watching the Orioles lose yet another game. After I picked up my jaw off the ground all I could do was shake my head in amazement. I've seen middle infielders use the flip but I have never seen one performed like Casilla did while diving in mid air. Casilla must have dolphin flippers. There is no other reason. It's like gay people in denial.

Friday, August 28, 2009

ANDY RODDICKS SERVES ONE IN LETTERMAN'S FACE

Sorry but Brooklyn Decker did not show up with hubby Andy Roddick last night. So disappointing. Now I am sure you are going to be really excited to see this clip now. I'm all about the tease folks...

NICK GREEN PITCHES SCORELESS 8TH AND 9TH INNING


Boston Red Sox shortstop Nick Green made an emergency appearance last night on the pitching rubber, his first time on the mound in more than 11 years, and pitched a scoreless 2 innings. Wait, what?

Yes, this is the same Nick Green I use to face in American Legion Ball more than 12 years ago. The same Green I tripled off the left centerfield wall in Alpharetta. This goes to prove, without a shadow of a doubt, I should be playing in the Major Leagues. If only all the drugs, booze, and loose women didn't get in the way I would be in Green's position right now. Yeah, that's it.

But enough about my sketchy past, let's hear what old fireballer Nick Green had to say about his performance last night vs. the Chicago White Sox.

"I didn't really want to do it, but I understood the situation," said Green, the first Red Sox position player to pitch multiple innings in a game since Dave McCarty in 2004. "That's why I said, 'OK, I'll go out there and try to have fun.'"

"I just wanted to throw strikes," Green said. "I didn't know my ball was going to move all over the place. I told Tito, 'I might get hit, I don't know.' I didn't know what to expect. I hadn't thrown to a catcher in 11 years."

Congratulations go out to Green for a fine performance last night. Dickhead. Nope, not jealous one bit. (cries into Ramen noodles for the 7th night in a row wondering what went wrong)

Thursday, August 27, 2009

USC NAMES THE FRESHMAN STARTING QB

When I was young I knew everything, now I'm Pete Carroll guilt stricken sobbing with my head on the floor because I named Matt Barkley starting QB...I can't be held responsible...Barkley was touching my thigh...I won't be held responsible...we were merely freshmen....


USC was so innocent. F them is what I say....

MICHAEL VICK DEBUTS TONIGHT


IMAGE HT: WithLeather

Hide your Beagle people, Vick's an Eagle officially starting tonight against the Jacksonville Jaguars on the NFL Network. So basically a million people have the opportunity to watch it from their home. Fucking NFL Network and their exclusive deal with DirecTV. Don't they realize that satellite tv sucks balls or is just about the money? Oh yeah, it's always about the money. Anywho, I will have to go to Taco Mac tonight to see the Doggie Killer make his debut wearing something other than black and white stripes or an orange jumpsuit. Vick has served his time and deserves a second chance. Actually this is more like his 10th chance because he lied so many times before hand about having any involvement but that is besides the point.

I want to see Vick play. I want to see him roll out of the pocket and hold that pigskin like it's got Ron Mexico's clamidia on the laces. I want to see him get hit and fumble. I want to see him break a run for 30 yards when most other players would have only got 10 yards. I want to see him overthrow a receiver by 5 yards or miss a guy on the slant or fire it too hard. Most of all I want to see how people react to him when he is introduced for the first time. I expect a scattering of boo's and cheers. And pound puppies on the field.


HIDE YOUR BEAGLES VICK'S AN EAGLE SHIRT AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE HERE!

16 DAYS TILL THE BALLS DROP


This has to be LSUFreek's best work over at EDSBS. Very disturbing yet highly funny. My sides actually hurt right now and those are not remnants of Vegas destruction in my ribs.

NOW THIS LOOKS ENTERTAINING



Zombieland could get 1 star and be as Gawdawful as that Peter Jackson remake of King Kong and I still won't give a shit, I have to see this movie. It feels like it has a Tarantino flavor to it and anytime you have Woody Harelson playing a redneck then it's all good in my book.

I'm interested in hearing what the peanut gallery has to say. Would you go see Zombieland after watching this preview or would you rather go see some gay ass Harry Potter coming of age movie? Seriously, if you like Harry Potter and are over the age of 15 please just kill yourself now. The world would be a lot less gayer with you in it.

HAPPY ENDING?



20 bucks, and it better be quick! Great job Fox Sports! I still have no desire to watch soccer but this commercial made me laugh.

Video HT: Extra Mustard

SHAQ IN A SPEEDO



The clip above comes from Shaq VS which is apparently some show on ABC. I have no fucking clue because I don't watch network television unless there is sports on it. HBO and Showtime shows occupy my time most nights if I decide to watch something else besides the baseball game right now. Anyways, Shaq lost a bet to the beach volleyball group of Misty May and Kerri Whateverhername so he had to walk down the beach in a pink speedo. I think it fits the big man. I was pleasantly surprised not to see some damn elephant snake slipping out of the side. That would have been almost as uncomfortable as seeing Misty May's ballsack in slow motion. Seriously, Misty is a pre-op tranny right?

Video HT: Extra Mustard

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

DEATH PANELS ARE REAL

I GOT THE BUTTERFLYS

in my stomach and it has nothing to do with hookers and blow but everything to do with September 5th. I love the Fall and I love sitting on my ass all day on Saturdays with a cold beer in my hand and watching college football. Shit like this video gets my heart pumping in anticipation for kickoff...

CASH 4 CLUNKER SHIRT



Here is another one of our new shirts. We call it the new "Cash 4 Clunker" shirt and you can only get it at our STORE PAGE.

Brett Favre is already joined the Cash 4 Clunker program, shouldn't you?...




Brett Favre pictures courtesy of MacG's World

Rank And File: Notre Dame Preview - ESPN VIDEO



Here is a little video Jason Hall, a big fan of Sportscrack, sent my way with the talking heads at ESPN giving their outlook for Notre Dame this season. Seeing Mark May's bloated head babbling bullshit already has my blood boiling. October 17th can not come soon enough. It's put up or shut up time for the Notre Dame football program in 2009.

Listen, we all know Notre Dame only won 10 games the last 2 years combined. But that is in the past and right now, the present, this Notre Dame team might have the most talent and depth since the early to mid 90's. I shit you not. Elite programs like Texas, Florida, LSU, and USC can put out their 2nd and 3rd teamers and not miss a beat. Notre Dame has finally gotten to this point. Their offense is completely loaded with experience and elite playmakers. They have the newest version of the AFROS (America's Finest Receivers on Saturday) with Golden Tate, Michael Floyd, and TE Kyle Rudolph back in which combined will put up well over 2500 yards receiving and 25 TD's receiving in 2009. Their backups such as freshman Shaquille Evans, sophomores Deion Walker and Johnny Goodman, juniors Duval Kamara and Mike Ragone were all high school All-Americans who every program in this country desperately wanted. Jimmy Clausen will have a Heisman worthy campaign this season and will bump one of either Tim Tebow, Sam Bradford, or Colt McCoy off the invitation list to NYC. The runningbacks are as deep as anybody in the nation including USC. Armando Allen, Robert Hughes, James Aldridge, Jonas Gray, and freshmen Cierre Wood and Theo Riddick will all be battling for carries this season. There is no reason why they shouldn't push for over 2500 yards rushing combined this season especially behind an offensive line which will now push people forward instead of back.

The defense is going to have a lot of breakout stars this season. On the defensive line look out for defensive tackles Ian Williams and Ethan Johnson. If the Irish are going to contend for a National Title they have to be able to control the line of scrimmage and stop the run. Both Williams and Johnson are fully capable of having All-American seasons and have made great strides in the weight room. Forcing double teams is the key to free up the pass rush with defensive ends such as Kerry Neal and Kapron Lewis-Moore coming on the outside and crushing the quarterback or making a rush throw. If Williams, Johnson, Neal, and Lewis-Moore do their job then it will free up what could be the most underrated set of linebackers in the nation. The group is led by junior Brian Smith (leaves his heart on the field, will make a great captain in 2010) who could have one of those Courtney Watson type seasons where he always around the ball making plays. In coming freshman Manti Te'O, aka the Hawaiian Hitman, is the biggest defensive recruit to come to Notre Dame since Kory Minor was rocking the black shield. Te'O is literally a man among boys. He will have as much of an impact on the defense as a freshman as Michael Floyd had last season for the offense. He is that good and will leave Notre Dame once his mission is complete: Destroy USC. Senior Toryan Smith will be solid at the MIKE and Darius Fleming will have at least 8 sacks this season at the SAM LB position. The great thing about the front 7 of the Irish this season is most all of these guys are big, strong, and can fly and will be successful in Jon Tenuta's aggressive, blitz-happy defense.

Their secondary is the best in the nation. Yes, I said it. Cornerbacks Darrin Walls and Robert Blanton are both shut down. Their back ups, Raeshon McNeil and Gary Gray would start almost anywhere in the country but at Notre Dame they will be counted on to fill in and just be badass cover corners. I'm talking Air Traffic Control with those 4 guys plus you have a Jamoris Slaughter who Irish fans will love to see on the playing field in 2009 because of how smooth, quick, and his ability to lay out people with his frame will have you scratching your head in amazement. The safeties are led by seniors Kyle McCarthy and Sergio Brown. I absolutely love watching these guys play because you can tell how much they want to get their hands on that pigskin and take it back for 6. Harrison Smith, Dan McCarthy, and freshman Zeke Motta will all see significant time and are budding stars who will keep the tradition going in 2010 and beyond. This defense combined is going to put a lot of fear into opponents and they will create a ton of turnovers.

Make no mistake people, 2009 was the year I pointed out back in 2006 as the year the Irish finally returned to elite. Now it's only 10 days away till it comes to fruition. Believe the hype because Notre Dame is for real. I can't fucking wait! Can you?

SENATOR ROBERT "BARBARIC" BYRD REACTS TO OUR NEW VICK SHIRT



Ok, so maybe I lied a little bit about his reaction to the new "Hide your Beagle, Vick's an Eagle" shirt we introduced last night. Sure the "Barbaric" Senator from West Virginia is breaking down upon hearing Teddy Kennedy's death this morning but it might as well have been my reaction to seeing the final design of another one of our new NFL inspired shirts.


Brings tears to these eyes. December 6th in the Dome can't come soon enough. The Battle of the Birds. Matty Ice vs. BadNewzEagles.

Visit our store page to get the new shirt.

If you don't buy one then you are simply being BARBARIC!!!!