R.I.P. RANDY MACHO MAN SAVAGE

The World lost a brilliant entertainer today with the news that WWF legend Randy "Macho Man" Savage died in a car accident. Macho Man was right up there with Hulk Hogan, Sergeant Slaughter, Sting, Andre The Giant, Ultimate Warrior, and Rowdy Roddy Piper as my favorite wrestler back in the 80's. He became a brand with the Snap into a Slim Jim commercials and his "OOOOOOHHHHHH YYYEEEEAAAAHHHH!!!!"

I will have to pour one out tonight for the Macho Man. And yes I will be betting and rooting for Mucho Macho Man at tomorrow's Preakness Stakes. It got to be that horses destiny to win before the Rapture.

THE MCCLUTCH SHIRT

This new shirt may look a little familiar. In honor of the past time's current best clutch hitter we decided to make a shirt and call it "McClutch." This is the kind of shirt that will no doubt get you laid at The Ted. I'm serious. Not even the best roofies will be any match for the McClutch shirt. Girls will literally drop their panties in the the presence of McClutch. If you don't believe me then you have to see it for yourself and order one. For the low price of $17 you can be McClutch.

The McClutch Shirt order here!

Andre Ethier with the ole double bird salute

You gotta just love baseball players. You would think they would learn something from the recent Roger McDowell gay slur and bat gesture in San Francisco but apparently Los Angeles Dodger outfielder Andre Ethier didn't get the memo. Here you can see him giving the old #1 salute to a group of photographers at Chavez Ravine. Apparently MLB will investigate the matter. When asked for comment Bud Selig mumbled "Who's Andre Ethier?"

Dick Joke

A dick has a sad life: His hair is a mess, his neighbor's an asshole, his family is nuts, his bestfriend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.

Vancouver hockey fan flashes Ben Eager

Now that is what you call some good ole' Canadian fun...bags. San Jose Shark's left winger Ben Eager was just minding his own business in the penalty box at Rogers Arena when some young blonde in her Henrik Sedin Canucks jersey decided to flash him. Not only did she win for showing off her Canadian sweater puppets but the Sedin twins combined for two goals in an easy 7-3 victory to give themselves a 2-0 series lead. Winning.

Video via BigLeadSports

7th Grade QB Trick Shot Video

Paging Brian Kelly. Paging Brian Kelly. 5 years from now after you have won your third National Championship at Notre Dame you might want to pay this kid; Gunnar Legas of Provo, Utah; a visit. This kid is already making throws I can only dream of when I'm passed out drunk. It's all about dreams kids till you get older and wake up with piss all over yourself. Again. But seriously Kelly you need to give Gunnar a call before he ends up with those degenerate Mormons.

Evan Longoria has good hands

Yeah I know it's fake but it's still cool. It's like those old Gatorade commercials with Michael Vick throwing the football out of the stadium. The only difference between the two commercials is Longoria kills road beef while Vick kills puppies.

BRIAN MCCLUTCH!!!!

Just your typical pinch hit, game tying solo shot with two outs in the 9th to send it to extras. But Brian McCann wasn't done. If you know anything about McCann's game it's the clutch factor in him. He's done it his whole career. The 5-time All-Star then comes up in the 11th inning and hits a walk-off 2 run blast that could be felt all the way to Stone Mountain.

Brian McFuckingClutch!

Braves win!

2011 Heisman Trophy Odds are Interesting

We are still over a 100 days left till the college football season kicks off but what better way to do argue about the mundaneness of the offseason then to look at the current odds for the Heisman Trophy.

To win the Heisman Trophy doesn't require you to be the most outstanding player in the nation anymore. In fact it hasn't been that way for over 20 years now. It requires you to be a quarterback and in some cases a running back for one of the top 3 teams in the nation at the end of the season. 9 of the last 11 winners have been QBs with the exceptions of Reggie Bush (vacated in 2005) and Mark Ingram (2009) who both played in BCS National Championship games. So with Vegas odds out now at such sites as SportsInteraction.com be sure to calculate the chances of your favorite player actually getting to a National Championship game into consideration before throwing down your second mortgage on a college kid.

Here are the favorites:

Andrew Luck +300 - Luck deserves to be the odds on favorite since he is the best quarterback in the nation and is probably the best player in the country regardless of position. In order for Luck to win it he will need to get Stanford back to a BCS Bowl game and if recent history indicates anything he will need to have them playing for the championship. With their two toughest games at home vs Oregon and Notre Dame there is a decent chance Stanford goes undefeated during the regular season in the new Pac-12. If Luck can stay healthy and the Stanford defense steps up and goes undefeated then it's his to lose.

Denard Robinson +500 - Shoelace is probably the best athlete in the country and last season he became the first ever player in NCAA history to run and pass for over 1500 yards in a season. With that being said he really has no chance of winning the award. Michigan will most certainly not be contending for any kind of championship this season under new head coach Brady Hoke. Shoelace also has to learn a brand new offense which is more West Coast then option run first under coach Rich Rod.

Marcus Lattimore +500 - Since Tim Tebow and Sam Bradford won the Heisman as sophomores it is no longer a taboo to think an underclassman could win the award. Still I don't think arguably the nation's best running back has much of a chance of winning the Heisman playing on South Carolina. The Cocks would have to reach the BCS Championship game and I don't see them as being better than LSU, Alabama, or Arkansas this season in the SEC. Lattimore would need at least 1600 to 2000 yards rushing with 15 TDs minimum and the Cocks in the BCS Title game to win it. Not happening.

LaMichael James +600 - James should probably have the second best odds behind Luck considering he returns as a Heisman finalist and a team that played for the BCS Title last year. Again the Heisman is more political and hype then actual merit and I'm not even sure James is the best running back in his conference (I tend to side with Washington's Chris Polk). But if Oregon is back in a BCS Title game and James puts up the similar rushing stats then he will be a finalist. James is probably the second safest bet and I don't even consider him a top 10 player in the nation.

Landry Jones +600 - The Sooners have two Heisman Trophy winning QBs in recent history with Sam Bradford and Jason White and this year Landry aka Mustache Mafia has a legit chance with a stacked Oklahoma team. With the Sooners legitimate BCS Title contenders in 2011 Landry has a good shot of at least being a finalist for the Heisman if he puts up similar numbers or better as his sophomore season. If the Sooners go undefeated and Landry puts up Sam Bradford-type numbers then he will win it.

Justin Blackmon +1000 - Blackmon finished 5th last season in the Heisman despite putting up insane catches, yards, and TDs for a wide receiver. A wideout hasn't won the Heisman since Desmond Howard did 20 years ago at Michigan. The chances of Blackmon winning it are slim to basically none unless the Cowboys can get to the BCS Title game.

Ryan Broyles +1200 - The only way Broyles can win is if his teammate Landry Jones get injured midseason and the Sooners still make it to the BCS Title game. Broyles put up astonishing numbers last season in Norman but he isn't the big play receiver that Blackmon and Notre Dame's Michael Floyd are. Broyles is a great college player but he really has no chance of winning the Heisman.

Trent Richardson +1200 - A lot of the pundits believed the best RB in the Alabama backfield the past couple of seasons wasn't Heisman Trophy winner Mark Ingram. Richardson will get his chance to be the feature back this season in Tuscaloosa. I can see ESPN really pushing him for the HypesMan if he has a huge season and if Bama wins the SEC. It would be their feel good story with the recent tornado destruction of Tuscaloosa.

Knile Davis +1500 - Davis is one of the more underrated backs in the nation and this is a pleasant surprise to see him this high. Last season for Arkansas he ran for over 1300 yards and 13 TDs. With an early season schedule with the likes of Missouri State, New Mexico and Troy he should pad his stats before a huge game in Tuscaloosa on September 24th. It would take tremendous games versus Bama, Auburn, South Carolina, and LSU plus a SEC Championship appearance for Davis to get serious consideration. It's possible but not likely.

Robert Griffin III +1500 - Great player but does anybody realistically expect Baylor to contend for a National Title? Not happening and it's too bad because Griffin might be the best talent in the nation. The only way he becomes a finalist for the Heisman is if he can lead Baylor to wins over TCU, Okie State, Oklahoma, and Texas.

Chris Polk +1800 - Polk ran for 461 yards combined in season ending wins over Washington State and Nebraska and will probably rush for over 1500 yards this season. Watching Polk runs you will notice very rarely does he go down on first contact. In order for him to be standing on the podium in New York City in December he will have to care the Huskies on his back and lead them to a Pac-12 championship over either Stanford or Oregon.

Brandon Weeden +2000 - The 27 year old senior would have to pull a Chris Weinke and lead the Cowboys to a BCS Title game to get serious consideration over his teammate in Justin Blackmon. He has a shot but just out of principle alone and the Weinke rule he isn't eligible at his age.

Case Keenum +2000 - Keenum has already played four years of college football but got granted a 5th year due to medical hardship. He's thrown for over 13000 yards and 107 TDs in his career. He's basically the Colt Brennan of 2011. He will get a shot to break Hawaii's Timmy Chang all-time passing yardage leader if he can throw for over 3500 yards this season. He has a legit shot at the record. The Heisman? Not so much.

Michael Floyd +2500 - It's hard to determine if Floyd has a legit shot at the Heisman considering we still don't know if he will be missing any games from a DUI arrest. Floyd is a beast when healthy and will get a chance to set numerous Notre Dame records with catches, yardage, and TDs during his senior season. The problem with Floyd and the other receivers up for the Heisman is you usually have to be a special teams standout too as a kick returner. The only chance Floyd has of winning the award is if Notre Dame is playing in the BCS Title game and even at that point I would think whomever is QBing or Cierre Wood might get more serious consideration.

Darron Thomas +3000 - I'm probably going to ruffle some Duck feathers with this but I'm not even sure Thomas is a top 3 QB in the Pac-12. I think Andrew Luck is obviously better and I could make a legit argument that USC's Matt Barkley and Arizona's Nick Foles are better passers. But then again the Heisman doesn't always go to the best passer or the best QB for that matter. It goes to the QB who can get his team to a National Championship and Thomas has a much better chance than Barkley or Foles.

Matt Barkley +3000 - Don't laugh but if Andrew Luck would have come out this past season we could be talking about Barkley as the #1 pick for the 2012 NFL Draft. Barkley has no chance of winning the Heisman since USC is on probation and can't even go to a bowl game but it would not surprise me in the least to see him outshine Luck at home on October 29th. It's probably a good thing he doesn't win the Heisman because Lane Kiffin is bound to get all of USC victories vacated within a couple of years.

Nick Foles +3000 - Foles is a good quarterback who needs to get better during crunch time. It wouldn't surprise me to see him really break out this season and lead Arizona to some upsets.

Kirk Cousins +3300 - The rising senior in East Lansing would have to lead Sparty to a Big Ten Championship to be a serious contender and that's not totally out of the realm of possibility with the Buckeyes and Badgers both taking a step back this year. In terms of extreme long shots he might be the safest bet.

Aaron Murray +4000 - For a first year starter Murray had an outstanding season for the Red and Black. He will be missing key targets this year in AJ Green and Kris Durham and the schedule doesn't play the Dawgs any favorites with Boise State and South Carolina opening up. I do believe Murray is the best QB in the nation's toughest conference but I can't see him leading the Bulldogs to a SEC Championship this season.

Danny O'Brien +6000 - What does Vegas know that we don't? I mean they can't seriously have O'Brien as a Heisman contender and not have Boise State's Kellen Moore. Is this some kind of sick joke? Don't get me wrong O'Brien is good but how in the hell do you leave off Moore? O'Brien has no shot at winning the Heisman this season. Zip.

Greg Reid +6000 - Defensive backs even as explosive as Greg Reid have no shot at the Heisman. If Florida State is going to be a top 5 team this season then QB EJ Manuel will be the Heisman favorite.

Obviously I'm surprised Kellen Moore and South Carolina's Alshon Jeffery were left off the list. Both guys are elite talents on teams that could compete for a National Championship which is essential to being a Heisman finalist. If defensive guys were ever seriously considered you could make arguments for Alabama's Dre' Kirkpatrick, UNC's Quinton Coples, Notre Dame's Manti Te'o and a host of other defensive talents. Unfortunately they are not or Ndamukong Suh would have won it in a landslide two seasons ago.

If I were to guess right now what the voting could look like at the end of the 2011 regular season it would be this:
1. Andrew Luck, Stanford
2. Landry Jones, Oklahoma
3. Justin Blackmon, Okie State
4. Kellen Moore, Boise State
5. Marcus Lattimore, USC

Brodie Smith is the Frisbee Trick Shot King

Seeing Brodie Smith make amazing frisbee trick shots at the University of Florida is like looking at myself in the mirror...after about drinking 12 beers. Beer goggles makes everything more tolerable. Including my face.

Video HT via Dave

Taj Gibson with the facial on Dwayne Wade

Before the Bulls-Heat series begun I made a little bet that the Heat would win the series in 6 games. After watching the Chicago Bulls just dismantle the Heat last night I'm not so sure this series even makes it to 6 games. The Bulls looked incredible in the second half. The fire and the emotion in Chicago was something I hadn't personally seen since Jordan was wagging the tongue. As a Hawks fan I find it almost impossible to root for either one of these teams but after seeing Gibson soar over Wade I can't help myself. I'm rooting for the Bulls. Fuck.

Eric Berry and CJ Spiller trying to be funny

I don't even know what to really say about this. Are Eric Berry and CJ Spiller trying to be funny? This has the feel of a Dane Cook "comedy special." It's neither comedic or special unless you enjoy eating paint chips. Seriously the NFL Lockout needs to end. With OchoCinco being thrown off a bull and Tommy Z knocking out tomato cans in boxing and now these horrible Adidas Ads it's time to get the football players back to what they do best: going bankrupt within 3 years.

Houston We Have a Problem: The Great Fan Escape

Last Friday in Houston's Enron Field (see what I did there?) in the bottom of the ninth in a tight game with Carlos Lee (best MLB contract ever) at the plate some fan did the unthinkable. Not only was it caught on tape but the fan actually managed to elude security while jumping over the centerfield wall and then climbing like SuperMan to his escape.

Give that fan a contract!

Tiger Woods Quits after 9 Holes and I mean Golf this time

Poor Tiger. The guy just can't catch a break. Today Tiger had to quit the Player's Championship after finishing the front 9 with a 42. Apparently his knee is really bothering him. That stupid Swedish Cow must have gotten to him last night.

Buckeye Motors

With everything swirling around the Ohio State football program how is Jim Tressel able to weather the storm at this point and coach in 2011? I know this will be his last season in Columbus since the fallout from the lies to the NCAA will be too big to overcome but I just don't see how he has not resigned already. It must be about the money. If he resigns now he doesn't get paid. If he is fired or "let go" then he gets his full contract paid out in severance.

Facial Flex

Kate Upton Braless Video

I think I just blacked out for about 5 minutes. Where am I? What the fuck am I doing? And why are my shorts and boxers down to my god damn ankles?

Oh. Another Kate Upton video. Case solved.

#1 Prep OLB Noor Davis set to announce Friday

Rivals.com #1 outside linebacker Noor Davis has decided to move up his announcement date to this Friday according to Chris Nee of Rivals.com.

Four-star linebacker Noor Davis has moved up his decision date and plans to announce a verbal commitment Friday, per Rivals.com Florida analyst Chris Nee.

Key players here include Notre Dame and Florida, both of which had made a cut into the top five, but Davis is considering offers from across the country and has made many visits.

Previously Davis had been targeting a decision at the Under Armour game in January.

Davis carries a 4.3 GPA and the 6 foot 4, 225 linebacker has indicated he would go to a great business school if he had a choice. The Mendoza school of Business at Notre Dame is ranked #1 in the nation and the Fighting Irish could sell playing time with the likes of Aaron Lynch, Stephon Tuitt, Ishaq Williams, Ben Councell, Ronald Darby, and Tee Shepard on a stellar defense for at least 3 of his 4 years on campus.

On the other hand the University of Florida can sell itself as one of the best public institutions in terms of business schools in the nation and the fact that they produce NFL talent. Also the defending champions Auburn Tigers just got a visit from Davis and with his sudden declaration to move up his announcement to this Friday after it was previously thought to be in January shows good promise for War Eagle.

Make no mistake Davis is the type of athlete and student any school would love to have. At this point he can pretty much go anywhere he chooses. My gut feeling is he picks Notre Dame.

Georgia gains by losing leading rusher Washaun Ealey

Yesterday the University of Georgia announced it had granted the unconditional release of leading rusher Washaun Ealey. This means Ealey is free to transfer where ever he may like including any SEC program. Last season Ealey led the Bulldogs with 811 yards rushing and 11 TDs as a redshirt sophomore. This coming up season there was a pretty good chance he was going to be second fiddle to incoming freshman Isaiah Crowell, the #1 running back prospect in the nation enrolling this summer.

This is great news for UGA. Ealey was a constant headache for the Georgia program and most importantly Coach Mark Richt. If you aren't familiar with the incidents Ealey has been through since his arrival in Athens let the AJC refresh your memory...

Ealey was suspended indefinitely from the team in February for missing an early-morning disciplinary run. He was reinstated in time for spring practice in March but was sidelined with a hamstring injury after only four practices and did not practice again. He was also suspended from last season’s opener because of an arrest for hit-and-run of a parked vehicle and driving with a suspended license. Richt was particularly upset about that incident because Ealey had assured coaches he wouldn’t drive while his license was suspended.

Ealey during his time in Athens displayed for the most part a "me" attitude. What could Georgia give to him was more important than what could he give back to the Georgia football team and his teammates. With a coach on the hot seat like Richt is this season you can't deal with clubhouse cancers who could ruin the whole attitude of the team. It was time to trim the fat and get rid of Ealey.

Ealey will bounce back and learn a valuable lesson. The kid has skills and is a good running back when he wants to put the time in and prove himself. The hot rumor is he winds up transferring to Georgia Southern.

For Georgia this is the dawn of a new running back era. Crowell is looking to make an instant impact this fall much like Marcus Lattimore did in Columbia last season for the SEC East Champ Gamecocks. Georgia is also seen as a front runner for highly touted tailback Keith Marshall out of North Carolina. Marshall has visited Athens several times and is considered an elite tailback.

In the end the best thing that could have happened for both Ealey and Georgia was to go separate ways. It also might have saved Richt's future in Athens.

THIRTY FUCKING FIVE

35. It's a number. A very shitty number for the Baltimore Orioles right now.

It's the combined number of RBIs on the season from their #2-4 hitters in the lineup. Yep. Nick Markakis, Derrek Lee, and Vlad Guerrero have a combined 35 RBI's in the first 33 games of the season. Pathetic. Horrid. Fucking old guy Lance Berkman has almost as many by himself.

I shouldn't just pick on Markakis, Lee and Vlad since pretty much the whole Orioles lineup has sucked balls this season but these guys get paid the big bucks to drive in runs. They are suppose to be the leaders of a resurgent Orioles squad. And so far they haven't done dick. Until these three start to hit their weight the O's are doomed for last place in the AL East. Again.

Time to wake up ya fucking dicks.