Brady Hoke Thinks Notre Dame Is Chicken

First thing that comes to Michigan head coach Brady Hoke when asked about Notre Dame is chicken.  I'm just as shocked as you.  I would have thought donut or pizza.

Rate This Hakuna Machado Video

I give it a 5.  The song is catchy but how do you have a video about rising superstar Manny Machado and not include Orioles legends Brooks Robinson and Cal Ripken?  Put those two icons in there and it's an easy 10.

Johnny Football Caught Signing Autographs During the Game

If you look a little closer Johnny Manziel is up to his old shenanigans again.  Signing autographs in the middle of a play!  That game used touchdown ball personally autographed by Manziel is worth thousands and hopefully poor little Johnny can get his compensation.

Pay that man his money!



Via CampusUnion

South Carolina Fan Has Some UGA Fighting Words

"Mark Richt... good Christian fellow... you can talk to Jesus and all that and it's cool but you are about to get FUCKED UP!" - South Carolina poet Steve Davisor

Eastbound and Down Trailer for Season 4

Kenny Powers is back for the final season of EastBound and Down on HBO.  Brings a tear to my eye. We have seen Kenny grow from a petulant self-entitled asshole to be a more petulant self-entitled asshole.  It's been a beautiful process.  The final season kicks off September 29th which leaves me in a huge predicament.  The day before I will be up at Notre Dame watching the Fighting Irish kick the living shit out of Choke-la-homa and then on the night Kenny Powers brings his fastball back I will be in the Georgia Dome watching the Dirty Birds put 50 up on the Patriots.  I will be so burned out on ass-kicking football that I can't give Powers my full attention till Monday.  This probably means I need to turn in my Kenny Powers Superfan card.*

* = case of Natty Light

SportsCrack Week 2 Top 10 Teams and Heisman Contenders

Every week this season I will be releasing the SportsCrack top 10 teams along with our Heisman Trophy front runners.  Be sure to add how much you agree with me in the comments.


1.  Alabama - Yes I know they got out gained and pushed around at times by an average Hokies team but they are still the two-time returning National Champs.

2.  South Carolina - They looked awesome even with Clowney shitting the bed in the opener vs North Carolina.  Huge game this week vs Georgia in Athens.

3.  Clemson - The Tigers beat a very good Georgia team.  With Tajh Boyd they can beat anybody.

4.  Oregon - The stat sheet they put up vs Nicholls State is ludicrous.

5.  Stanford - They didn't play.  Too busy watching Revenge of the Nerds.

6.  LSU - I will be the first to admit I wasn't sure if Les Miles and the gang had it in them to beat TCU.
They did impressively.

7.  Notre Dame - Put the cruise control on after scoring early vs Temple.  Brian Kelly has no idea what Michigan football is.  Awesome.

8.  FSU - Jameis Winston put on a show Monday night.  With him at QB the Noles can compete with anybody.  Yes even SEC teams.

9.  Louisville - I don't see anybody on their schedule that can beat them.  Granted they don't play anybody.

10.  Ohio State - Their defense still looks very suspect.  Luckily for Urban none of his players were named suspects by the Columbus PD.  Not this week at least.


Top 5 Heisman Front Runners

1.  Jameis Winston, FSU - Nobody was more impressive this weekend.  25-for-27 with 5 TDs overall.  Flat out stud.

2.  Tajh Boyd, Clemson - Made every big play vs Georgia in an "upset" win.

3.  Marcus Mariota, Oregon - Deadly for Scoregon again.

4.  Teddy Bridgewater, Louisville - If I had the 1st pick in the NFL Draft I'm taking Bridgewater over Clowney.

5.  Johnny Manziel, Texas A&M; Todd Gurley, Georgia - I couldn't pick one over the other.  Gurley is the best back in the nation.  No question about that.  Manziel is of course the reigning Heisman winner.

Famous Jameis Winston Exceeds Lofty Expectations

All spring and summer I've been hearing constant talk from FSU fans about how "Godly" redshirt freshman QB Jameis Winston was playing in practice.  Winston was in their eyes the next Charlie Ward yet better.  Granted I've heard some of the same stories about EJ Manuel and Chris Rix so I tempered my expectations.  Last night not only did Winston meet those expectations he speared them to the ground.

"Famous Jameis" completed 25-of-27 passes for 4 touchdowns and also ran for another vs Pitt in a primetime Monday night game on ESPN.  Winston literally looked like he was playing 7-on-7 with the precision and accuracy he was putting on his passes to his receivers.  Winston was simply unstoppable. He did look like Ward but better.  The FSU fans were right for once.  And it wasn't like he shredded some awful defense.  Pitt was a top 20 overall defense last season who returned 8 starters.

Jameis Winston is the real deal.  He looked like a senior last night.  Is he the Heisman frontrunner?  I wouldn't go that far but with Winston at QB I think this is the first legit Seminoles team to compete for a Natty in over a decade.  Winston is that great.

Mark your calendar for October 19th.  FSU travels to Clemson in a game that could essentially be an elimination game to get into the BCS Title game.  With Clemson's impressive win over Georgia it looks like they can compete for a title.  Granted we are still 6 weeks away from FSU vs Clemson but it looks like it will be an epic matchup that could not only determine who plays for the ACC Championship but also who is the Heisman frontrunner and who still has a shot at winning it all.

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USC Looked Solid Last Night

Poor USC.  What's next...the Hawaii kicker going to lay someone out?  Lane Kiffin has slowly destroyed the once proud program.  It's a joke how bad they are now.  They beat Hawaii but the Fighting Rainbows only won 3 games last year and two of those were against non FCS schools.  Go home USC...you're drunk!

Top 10 College Football Impact Freshmen

College football kicks off in less than 3 hours and already the incoming freshmen across this great nation are looking for a keg to drink, a coed to suck face with, and a class to oversleep.  But there are some freshmen who don't have this college luxury because they will be making an instant impact on the gridiron.  From L.A. to PA there are pimple-faced monsters ready to leave a mark on the college game without the dreaded "redshirt" label be stamped on their meal plan.

Here are 10 to keep an eye out for this fall.

1.  Christian Hackenberg, Penn State, QB - State Penn stole a good one from the likes of Alabama and Florida  in getting QB Hackenberg who is expected to start sometime this season.  The Nittany Lions QB situation is a mess right now with Steven Bench transferring and no player returning with any significant playing time in Happy Valley.  Hackenberg can sling it and he stuck with Penn State when every one else fled faster than you can say Sandusky.

2.  Robert Nkemdiche, Ole Miss, DL - The nation's #1 overall recruit was considered a steal for Ole Miss since he's from Georgia and...well...Ole Miss sucks.  But this mammoth beast of a defensive lineman is expected to join his brother as a starter for the Rebels and make a tremendous impact even in the rough and tough SEC West.  He won't get double digit sacks but he should have an equal impact like Aaron Lynch had with Notre Dame two years ago.

3.  Jaylon Smith, Notre Dame, OLB - Speaking of Notre Dame the Fighting Irish found their replacement for retired LB Danny Spond (concussion issues) with the extremely athletic and fast Fort Wayne prospect in Jaylon Smith.  Smith is the most highly touted defensive player to sign with the Irish since Kory Minor back in 1994 and is expected to make or exceed his impact at the college game.  Fast enough to play safety and big enough to play OLB Smith is a freak who many think will be a future multiple All-American player and captain.

4.  Su'a Cravens, USC, Safety - Despite a torn meniscus in spring after early enrolling Cravens is expected to start on a depleted Trojans depth chart hit hard by recent sanctions.  Expectations are sky high on this elite prospect who many compare to Ed Reed with his ball hawking instincts.

5.  Carl Lawson, Auburn, DE - A physical specimen out of Milton High School (Go Eagles!) Lawson should make his presence known for the Tigers and their new coach Gus Malzahn.  Hopefully he plays more like beast and less like Jane since War Eagle is coming off a disastrous 3-9 season.

6.  Derrick Green, Michigan, RB - There is some concern in Ann Arbor about his weight (too much) but Green is one of those elite tailbacks  who is going to be more Jerome Bettis than Knowshon Moreno.  Expect Green to put up nearly a 1000 yards for the Wolverines who don't have a proven commodity in the backfield.

7.  James Quick, Louisville, WR - Perfect name for this elite speed receiver.  The state record holder in the 200-meter dash Quick will be running fly routes and catching bombs from Heisman candidate Teddy Bridgewater all season.

8.  O. J. Howard, Alabama, TE - Three year starter Michael Williams is gone in Tuscaloosa leaving the door wide open for the nation's #1 prep tight end to start right away.  With the same athletic build as murderer Aaron Hernandez had down in Florida don't be surprised if Howard becomes a favorite red zone target of QB AJ McCarron starting in week 1 vs Virginia Tech.

9.  Greg Bryant, Notre Dame, RB - Bryant was a recruiting coup out of the state of Florida and showed up in South Bend already in college gameday shape and size.  With the loss of Cierre Wood and Theo Riddick to the NFL expect Bryant to share some of the carries with junior speedster George Atkinson III this fall.

10.  Marquez North, Tennessee, WR - First-year head coach Butch Jones thinks this 6'3 freshman can be an instant playmaker in Knoxville starting in game 1.  I've heard whispers he looks a lot like Carl Pickens.  For the Vols who lost two starters to the NFL at the WR position that can only be a great comparison.

Matthew Stafford aka The Pillsbury Throwboy Drunk Girlfriend is going wild in Costa Rica

I was oh so close to drafting Matthew Stafford this year but I just couldn't because of his off-the-field issues.  What were they you ask?  His girlfriend.  That's it.  Her name is Kelly Hall (former UGA cheerleader) and she is running wild in Costa Rica drunk off Bloody Mary's and Imperials.  It's has to be a major distraction for Stafford.  That and her leaked NSFW photo that is all over the internet.  Good for Stafford though.  If you gotta live and play in Detroit you might as well have the ultimate prize not named the Lombardi Trophy on the side.

Dick Fowler P.I.

Now it's a given when the Tour Championship comes back to East Lake in a few weeks.  I will be talking on my phone during Rickie Fowler's back swing.  I want to see Dick.  I need Dick on that golf course.

NICK'S DYNASTY VS JOHNNY CASH RIVALRY SHIRT SEPTEMBER 14 2013 COLLEGE STATION, TX

The rivalry continues...Johnny Football will not be suspended.

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Elliott Johnson Has More Speed than Nascar

...but still not as many sponsors.  The Atlanta Braves new utility guy/fella/clubhouse presence made it known on the diamond last night by legging out a triple that Elliott Johnson is here to stay.  His tread on his tires must have been top notch.  Speed kills.  Shake N Bake.  One lap at a time.  One constant left turn on the bases.

Never Before Seen Video of Brady Hoke Riding the Sling Shot

Yup.  Brady Hoke has not changed one bit.  His cries will only get louder when Notre Dame storms into Ann Arbor in a couple of weeks.  Brian Kelly will be laughing hysterically like Janice as Hoke clutches and grabs his fat little bearclaws for life.  It's the circle of life folks.

College Football Pick 'Em Pool

The annual SportsCrack.com College Football Pick 'Em Contest is back for another run!  FREE to enter each week we are giving away a FREE SportsCrack T-shirt to whomever picks the most winners.  Head over to our pals at FunOfficePools.com and enter the SportsCrack.com pool.  Each week one college football know-it-all will win a t-shirt.

ENTER THE CONTEST HERE!

2013 Bowl Projections

The season hasn't even had it's first tailgate let alone kickoff but we are too excited to wait on the end of the year bowl predictions.  Plus it's always fun to go back and check to see how wrong we were.  If I hit 20% of these predictions it's just pure luck.  Thank God this is the final year of the BCS. BCS bowls

Date Bowl Location Predicted matchup Jan. 1 Rose Pasadena, Calif. Ohio State (Big Ten champ) vs. Oregon (BCS at-large) Jan. 1 Fiesta Glendale, Ariz. TCU (Big 12 champ) vs. Boise State (BCS at-large) Jan. 2 Sugar New Orleans South Carolina (BCS at-large) vs. Louisville (AAC champ) Jan. 3 Orange Miami Clemson (ACC champ) vs. Notre Dame (BCS at-large) Jan. 6 BCS championship Pasadena, Calif. Alabama (BCS No. 1) vs. Stanford (BCS No. 2)

Other bowls

Date Bowl Location Predicted matchup Dec. 21 New Mexico Albuquerque, N.M. San Jose State (MWC) vs. Louisiana-Monroe (Pac-12 No. 7*) Dec. 21 Las Vegas Las Vegas Fresno State (MWC No. 1) vs. UCLA (Pac-12 No. 5) Dec. 21 Idaho Potato Boise, Idaho Air Force (MWC) vs. Ohio (MAC) Dec. 21 New Orleans New Orleans Louisiana-Lafayette (Sun Belt No. 1) vs. Louisiana Tech (C-USA) Dec. 23 Beef 'O' Brady's St. Petersburg, Fla. USF (AAC) vs. East Carolina (C-USA) Dec. 24 Hawaii Honolulu San Diego State (MWC) vs. Rice (C-USA) Dec. 26 Little Caesars Detroit Northern Illinois (MAC) vs. Indiana (Big Ten No. 8) Dec. 26 Poinsettia San Diego Utah State (MWC No. 2) vs. West Virginia (Army*) Dec. 27 Military Annapolis, Md. Maryland (ACC No. 8) vs. Middle Tennessee State (C-USA) Dec. 27 Texas Houston Wisconsin (Big Ten No. 6) vs. Kansas State (Big 12 No. 6) Dec. 27 Fight Hunger San Francisco USC (Pac-12 No. 6) vs. BYU (BYU) Dec. 28 Pinstripe Bronx, N.Y. UCF (AAC No. 4) vs. Texas Tech (Big 12 No. 7) Dec. 28 Belk Charlotte Rutgers (AAC No. 3) vs. Miami (ACC No. 5) Dec. 28 Russell Athletic Orlando Cincinnati (AAC No. 2) vs. Georgia Tech (ACC No. 3) Dec. 28 Buffalo Wild Wings Tempe, Ariz. Baylor (Big 12 No. 4) vs. Northwestern (Big Ten No. 4) Dec. 30 Armed Forces Fort Worth, Texas Wyoming (MWC) vs. Navy (Navy) Dec. 30 Music City Nashville Virginia Tech (ACC No. 6) vs. Auburn (SEC) Dec. 30 Alamo San Antonio Arizona State (Pac-12 No. 2) vs. Texas (Big 12 No. 3) Dec. 30 Holiday San Diego Oregon State (Pac-12 No. 3) vs. Oklahoma (Big 12 No. 5) Dec. 31 AdvoCare Shreveport, La. NC State (ACC No. 7) vs. UAB (SEC*) Dec. 31 Sun El Paso, Texas North Carolina (ACC No. 4) vs. Washington (Pac-12 No. 4) Dec. 31 Liberty Memphis Marshall (C-USA No. 1) vs. Tennessee (SEC) Dec. 31 Chick-fil-A Atlanta FSU (ACC No. 2) vs. Florida (SEC) Jan. 1 Heart of Dallas Dallas Minnesota (Big Ten No. 7) vs. Tulsa (C-USA) Jan. 1 Gator Jacksonville Michigan State (Big Ten No. 5) vs. Ole Miss (SEC) Jan. 1 Outback Tampa Michigan (Big Ten No. 3) vs. Georgia (SEC) Jan. 1 Capital One Orlando Texas A&M (SEC No. 2) vs. Nebraska (Big Ten No. 2) Jan. 3 Cotton Arlington, Texas Oklahoma State (Big 12 No. 2) vs. LSU (SEC) Jan. 4 BBVA Compass Birmingham, Ala. Houston (AAC) vs. Vanderbilt (SEC) Jan. 5 GoDaddy Mobile, Ala. Toledo (MAC) vs. Western Kentucky (Sun Belt)

5 MORE DAYS

5 more days till the road to Pasadena starts.  Can.  Not.  Wait.



It's going to be frantic.  It's going to be edge of your seat action.  Goose bumps ready.

The Funniest VINE Video Ever: Midget Stripper Dropped

Make sure you turn on the volume for this one.  It's in the upper left corner.  I'm crying from laughing.  Tears flowing.  The internet wins.  This is all-time classic material right here.  Right up there with the George Brett shit story.

"HE DONE DROP THE HOE!  HE DONE DROP THE HOE!" - If that isn't a shirt then I don't know what is.

They call her Butterfingers.

Via BarStoolSports

Jadeveon Clowney "The Freak" Is Coming According to ESPN

At this point I'm starting to feel bad for South Carolina defensive end Jadeveon Clowney.  Any player that ESPN props up on a pedestal, especially a college football one, eventually gets torn apart.  It's going to happen.

Is Clowney great?  Yes of course.  But he's not nearly the flawless prospect that a lot of people are making him out to be.  He's not perfect on or off the field.  And unfortunately ESPN and the media will find these things once the season starts.  And despite what the media says he is not a lock for #1 pick.  He's not a once-in-a-generation type player.  Sure he has some great hits and plays but watch the whole game while focusing on him and determine how much of a "can't miss prospect" he really is.

It's only 6 days away.  We get to see "The Freak" on ESPN vs North Carolina.  The proverbial rise and eventual fall of Clowney will be yet another ESPN production that will be can't miss television.  Awesome.