Reggie Bush Refuses To Give Up The Heisman

Yesterday we found out that USC has been forced to vacate and hand over their 2004 BCS Title because of the sanctions ruled against them in large part due to Reggie Bush breaking the rules. Well today it appears that the Heisman Trophy that Bush won back in 2005 and was suppose to be forfeited back to the Heisman Trophy Trust nine months ago still hasn't made it to them according to Paul Pabst over at the Dan Patrick Show.

We reported in December that the Heisman Trust had yet to receive Bush’s trophy. According to a source at the Heisman Trust, as of Monday Reggie Bush has still not returned his Heisman Trophy, just short of nine months after the decision came down that he had to give up the honor.

After the Heisman Trophy Trust met in early September 2010, the Trust worked with Bush on an mutual decision to return the Heisman Trophy. On Sept. 14, Bush announced he would forfeit the trophy:

“One of the greatest honors of my life was winning the Heisman Trophy in 2005. For me, it was a dream come true.But I know that the Heisman is not mine alone. Far from it. I know that my victory was made possible by the discipline and hard work of my teammates, the steady guidance of my coaches, the inspiration of the fans, and the unconditional love of my family and friends. And I know that any young man fortunate enough to win the Heisman enters into a family of sorts. Each individual carries the legacy of the award and each one is entrusted with its good name. It is for these reasons that I have made the difficult decision to forfeit my title as Heisman winner of 2005.”

One day later, the Heisman Trust issued a statement stating their appreciation for Bush’s cooperation and declared there would be no winner for ‘05.

We called Bush’s agent for comment about the status of the trophy, but received no response. We did find out where Bush’s trophy was last September, just before the Heisman Trust asked for it back.

According to a person in management at the San Diego Hall of Champions, the Heisman Trophy was displayed there until just after the Heisman Trust’s decision to strip Bush of the trophy. “Reggie Bush’s dad came in right after and took it. That’s the last we saw of it.”

The source at the Heisman Trophy Trust told us that there was no specific agreement with Reggie Bush to return the trophy, but that it was “alluded to in Reggie’s statement and the whole world reasonably expected him to return it.”

The Heisman Trust source added that they had been in touch with Bush’s agent “more than once” about the status of returning the trophy. Also, Bush would not even have to pay for shipping. The Heisman Trust would send him a case for the Heisman Trophy, with shipping paid for.

Honestly I can't blame Bush for not handing it over yet. I've held one. Took it to a party in fact on the Notre Dame campus. Johnny Lattner's 1953 Heisman Trophy which he so kindly loaned to me for a night opened doors to places I would have never seen without it. Next to the Stanley Cup it's the most recognizable trophy in all of sports. So I can see why Bush would not want to give it up. His Heisman got him Kim Kardashian. It worked with Carmen Ortega. The Heisman is like walking around with the Maserati of labrador puppies on campus trying to pick up chicks. The Heisman seals the deal. So without the Heisman Bush is basically nothing. Sure he has some money but his NFL career has been remarkably bland.

The point is Reggie Bush shouldn't give up his memorabilia. Look at what happened to O.J. Simpson when he tried to get his shit back. You don't want to end up like O.J. who is forced to give the Heisman to other inmates at the Lovelock Correctional Center....or do you? Run Reggie Run!

Arnold Schwarzenegger Satisfies

Video via ExtraMustard

Ndamukong Suh Will Eat His Own Pepperoni and Black Olives Face Thank You Very Much

You have seen Ndamukong Suh eat up Colt McCoy while in college and if you are a Detroit Lions fan (mercy on your souls) you saw Suh just dominate the shit out of the NFL during his rookie season. Now you can see Suh eat his own face thanks to Andy Gray over at SI. It's disturbing, gross and yet highly erotic if you enjoy pizza as much as I do.

P.S.-Can we get this fucking lockout over with already? If you are a billionaire owner and you are cutting office staff because of it then you sir are an asshole! The owners need to stop being greedy dicks. End of story.

Bill Stewart Has Been Snitchin' To The Media About Dana Holgorsen

Last week I told you about West Virginia's new offensive coordinator and head coach-in-waiting Dana Holgersen's drinking issues. This week we may have found out how the information about Holgersen's party lifestyle has been getting out to the press. West Virginia's own head coach Bill Stewart. Ruh fucking roh!

SB Nation's The Smoking Musket broke the story...

Jun 6, 2011 - Mock the trappings of Appalachia all you wish, college football fandom, but let it never be said that we mountain folk have lost the touch for high drama Shakespeare gave our forebears: Reports out of Morgantown are linking Bill Stewart (that's West Virginia head football coach Bill Stewart) to a newspaper reporter in Huntington, W. Va. who published an article alleging that Dana Holgorsen, Stewart's coach-in-waiting and offensive coordinator, has a lengthy history of alcohol-related run-ins, usually involving getting tossed out of casinos. That's Huntington, home of the Marshall Thundering Herd.

Some background on the personalities involved here: Holgorsen-as-dauphin was hilariously forced on Stewart by new AD Oliver Luck, who gave the Oklahoma State hotshot a year as OC to settle in and Stewart a year to shuffle out in a move that was already sure to make for an unbelievably awkward series of football Saturdays. The report that Holgorsen may have had as many as half a dozen previous unwanted encounters with gambling security and various local law enforcement types was as vigorously refuted by WVU as it was gleefully trumpeted by lesser Pittsburgh media outlets. Morgantown locals are abuzz with rumors of rampant, if understandable dissension amongst the reluctantly hybrid coaching staff, and just to make things interesting, our own West Virginia blog passes along some scuttlebutt that says Stewart may even be in the process of holding out on signing the new contract he agreed to with Luck. Just another pokey late spring in America's beautiful game.

Speaking of our West Virginia community, the Smoking Musket guys have been chasing this story since the very beginning, and they've got a wealth of details on this latest rich chapter in Mountaineer history over at their place. Pop some popcorn and head over for a cup of shine, won't you?

So Stewart is a snitch? What a fucking punk move if true. West Virginia University has reacted by putting Stewart's contract on hold while it investigates the leak according to the Charleston Daily. This is bound to create an unbearable friction amongst the coaching staff for a team I have projected to win the Big East with sleeper status as a BCS Title contender in 2011. I think we can assume Stewart has seen his last days of coaching pass him by. Stay tuned.

HT to MacG

Notre Dame gets 10 commitment in David Perkins

According to WSBT's David McCoy Notre Dame will pick up their 10 commitment in the class of 2012 with South Bend's own David Perkins choosing the Fighting Irish tomorrow morning.

A source close to Perkins tells WSBT that choice will be Notre Dame.

Perkins has scheduled an 11:20 a.m. news conference Tuesday to announce his decision. Washington coach Antwon Jones said Perkins' final five schools are Syracuse, Mississippi State, Iowa, Tennessee and Notre Dame.

At 6-foot-2, 210 pounds, Perkins is looked upon as a multi-position prospect. He plays both running back and linebacker for Washington.

Notre Dame came on late in the recruiting process, offering Perkins a scholarship on Thursday.

Perkins is listed as a 4 star recruit at outside linebacker (27th at his position) by Scout.com. He also has the versatility to play tailback and perhaps that is where Brian Kelly and the staff see his future. Notre Dame is extremely thin at the tailback position with starter Cierre Wood the only proven commodity who is also NFL Draft eligible after this season. In order for Notre Dame to be successful and I'm talking top 10 with BCS bowl wins they have to be able to run the ball effectively. Landing an elite tailback like a Keith Marshall or a Brian Kimbrow is paramount for this recruiting class.

Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis Crotch Grab MTV Movie Awards

You know in reality Justin Timberlake is banging her. He's the Derek Jeter of banging broads. He's literally gone through all of them. Janet Jackson? Yep. Britney Spears before she went mental? Yes sir. Cameron Diaz before she turned into Golum? Uh huh. Jessica Biel? His late night drunk call guarantee. There are a slew of other notches on his belt and the latest is Mila Kunis. She dumped Home Alone and is now running wild on guys like JT.

So the question is "do I envy Timberlake's life?" Of course. I'm not fucking gay.

Video via TheBigLead

The Guy F*cking Blake Lively Is Wearing A Certain Hat

You may have heard of the guy. His name is Leonardo Dicaprio. I think he was one of the Ninja Turtles. Anyways today he was spotted in a boat with Blake Lively (this time miraculously clothed...damn) in Italy and you want to know how he closed the deal with her? Yep. That fucking hat. You wear a ND hat and girls just drop their shit and jump your bones. I don't want to get into too many details but if you are a top notch high school football recruit (I'm talking to you Keith Marshall) you might want to start wearing the old Blue and Gold and just see what happens. Better yet just go ahead and enroll at Notre Dame. But only if you are a star recruit. We can't all be winners like Leonardo and myself.

Golf Clap For The SEC Doing The Right Thing With Signing Classes

All of the non-SEC fans want to talk about how some of the SEC schools like Bama and Ole Miss have unfair advantages with oversigning recruits. Today the SEC Conference did the right thing and voted to limit signing classes to 25 even though the coaches were against it. Sorry Nick Saban.

DESTIN, Fla. -- The Southeastern Conference has capped football signing classes at 25, a move coaches voted against and one that school presidents hope will be adopted across college football.

The powerful league, which will hand out an SEC-record $18.3 million in shared revenue to each of its 12 schools, had allowed up to 28 players to be signed annually.

They also voted to eliminating 7-on-7 camps on campuses and banned graduate students from transferring and being eligible to play immediately. In other words no more Jeremiah Masolis.

The question is how much will this hurt the SEC Conference in terms of football power? Probably not too much. Sure it will effect the Sabans of the conference. No longer can sign 30 plus guys and then put them on medical hardships or kick them out of school for a bull shit excuse. Saban will still find ways to get slaves...err...I mean more "student-athletes" in school despite the 25 max vote. How? How the fuck should I know, he's the Sabanator! Ask him.

Lebron James 4th Quarter Performance Reenacted By A Kid

Yep. Spot on. King James and the Miami Heat wilted, crumbled, and cried their way to losing a 15 point lead in the 4th quarter last night and let the Mavs tie up the series at 1 game all. It was the biggest choke job since the 1992 Finals when the Trail Blazers blew a 15 point 4th quarter lead to the Bulls. And just like this kid crying because he didn't get the right color bike we might soon see James tearing up if the Mavs pull the unthinkable and steal the NBA Title away. Viva la Dirk!

Video via Extra Mustard

Atlanta Braves Peter Moylan's ESPY Dress

Atlanta Braves reliever Peter Moylan has a little extra time on his hands being on the disabled list so he has taken to his Twitter to blow off some steam. And by steam I mean putting on a tight dress that clearly shows off his fabulous figure. What? The Aussie has a great figure. So sue me.

HT to Extra Mustard for the reminder on this Twitter pic.

Speaking of Twitter be sure to follow us. You better do it now!

Even More Blake Lively Nude Pics Leaked

Apparently actress Blake Lively has even more nude pictures yet to be released. Just a couple of days ago we got the first batch of NSFW pics. Her representation then came out and denied it's her which is bull shit. It's pretty obvious it's her phone, her face and most certainly her body. Case closed. And now apparently the people representing Lively have pissed off the guy who stole the pictures in the first place. And by guy I mean it's gotta be her right? She's leaking it.

Here are some more NSFW pics of Blake Lively via BarstoolSports

Willie Mays + SpiderMan = Adam Jones Catch Yesterday

Video via BigLeadSports

Slowly Baltimore Orioles center fielder is turning into the super star scouts projected when he was first drafted as a short stop in the Seattle Mariners organization. The fleet footed Jones aka Bazooka Jones made one of the best outfield catches I have ever seen. I don't think people realize how hard of a catch it was for Jones. He basically was going full force into the centerfield wall and yet still had enough concentration to make the catch while leaping to brace himself. To top it off he hit the game winning home run, went 3-4 at the plate and helped snapped a 5 game skid for the streaky O's who got a solid first start from ace Brian Matusz who just came off the DL. Not a bad day at the office for Jonesy.

Getting Ugly for Uggla

Image Courtesy of the AP

Matt and I were having a conversation the other day about Atlanta's most recent trade for perennial All Star Dan Uggla and I think we can all be honest, it's getting ugly. When Atlanta made the trade for the slugging 2nd baseman, no one would have guess he would be so, well, sluggish. Uggla is hitting .175, that's not even his weight.

The only comfort I take is that Omar Infante hasn't exactly had a great season, only batting .250 with 17 RBIs, our bullpen lefties are second to none, and Dan Uggla's defense has been absolutely spectacular. Still, we signed a clean up hitter, not expecting to have to clean up for him. Maybe the pressure of a lot of money is getting to him and if so, he's in the wrong profession.

Dave O'Brien talked yesterday on the Braves Blog on the AJC about Uggla getting slotted in the 7th hole and being benched twice in the last 7 games.

Gonzalez decided to “give him a breather” on Tuesday for the second time in seven games, using Uggla only as a pinch-runner for Chipper Jones late in the game.

The manager joked Wednesday that Uggla was too much of a “pain in the [rear]” pacing and fidgeting in the dugout to not play him in consecutive games.

“He’s your every-day second baseman,” Gonzalez said, on a serious note. “He can’t break out of that stuff sitting on the bench. There comes a point where you just give him a little mental rest and then run him back in there, let him play. He’s earned that.”

The Braves traded Omar Infante and left-handed reliever Mike Dunn to the Marlins for Uggla in November, then signed him to a five-year, $62 million contract extension before spring training, giving him the highest average annual salary ($12.4 million) for any second baseman.

Uggla averaged nearly 31 home runs and 93 RBIs in five seasons with the Marlins, including career-highs of 33 homers and 105 RBIs in 2010, when he also had personal bests in average (.287), on-base percentage (.369) and on-base-plus-slugging percentage (.877).

Before Wednesday, his .178 average this season was the second-lowest among National League qualifiers, and his .568 OPS was third-lowest. With runners in scoring position, his .118 average (6-for-51) was the third-lowest in the league.

The Braves got him to be the right-handed power hitter their lineup had lacked in recent years, but Uggla’s .115 average and .154 slugging percentage against lefties were the third-worst marks in the NL before Wednesday.

He had seven homers and 16 RBIs before Wednesday, including two homers and seven RBIs in May while batting .160 (16-for-100).

I, for one, still believe in Uggla and not just because his forearm is bigger than my leg. I personally like the guy. He works hard, he's a team first guy, he's as much of a blue collar player as there is in the game. He's just got to get out of his own head and go back to having fun playing baseball. In the end, I think Uggla will be more than worth his salary to the Braves, even if they do decide to package Uggla, Hanson, and Beachy to make a run at Albert Pujols. Hey, a guy can dream right?!?!?

Garcia gets another shot

Image courtesy of the Associated Press

Seriously, what in the hell is it going to take to get kicked out of USCe? Six chances? This kid has almost as many lives as Catwoman. Let's run through a list of suspensions:

1. Suspended for public drunkenness a month after enrolling in 2007.
2. Suspended for vandalizing a professor’s car two months after enrolling.
3. Suspended for underage drinking a year after that.
4. Suspended last March for having girls in his hotel room after curfew at the Chick-Fil-A Bowl.
5. Suspended a month later for drunken, disruptive behavior at an SEC-mandated leadership event.

Image Courtesy of the Associated Press

This has got to be a joke. As my buddy ECDawg of The Leather Helmet Blog (ps... read this... everyday Dawg fans) says "Garcia's longevity says more about Spurrier's failure to recruit another QB than it does about USCe disciplinary structure."

Chris Low on ESPN talks with Spurrier about Garcia getting another shot.

“One more, and he’ll be finished,” Spurrier said Wednesday.

For the record, Garcia has been suspended five times, including for all or parts of three spring practices.

His most recent suspension came after he became disruptive and was asked to leave an SEC-mandated life skills/leadership seminar in April. Garcia admitted to Spurrier that he’d been drinking prior to the event while celebrating a teammate’s birthday.

At the time, there were several associated with the program who felt Spurrier might send Garcia packing for good, especially considering how much Spurrier has publicly lamented Garcia’s lack of commitment and flimsy work ethic the past two years.

But Spurrier was singing a different tune Wednesday now that Garcia has been reinstated on a probationary basis for summer workouts.

“He’s made a life-change commitment,” Spurrier said. “He’s changed a lot about his life. He’s a changed person right now. Hopefully, he’ll stay that way.”

I have to agree with Matt Hayes for The Sporting News, Spurrier is enabling Garcia's behavior. I'd even go further, he's telling his recruits it's ok to be an alcoholic and destroy other people's lives. You can still play for me. We all make mistakes and we all get slapped on the wrist. How is this teaching this KIDS anything about the game of life? Check out more of Matt's article below:

And this is the player Spurrier has staked his reputation on? It’s so unbelievably out of character for a coach who — until this five-year joyride from Garcia — has never shied from disciplining star players for the smallest of mistakes.

Then again, it was strangely out of character for Jim Tressel to not forward a simple e-mail that would’ve saved his job and reputation.

Now, like it or not, Spurrier has hitched his legacy to a player who has been suspended more than any player in the history of college sports. I’m not exactly sure if that statement is 100 percent accurate, but has anyone in any sport been suspended five times?

Let me explain some Parenting 101 for the good folks in Columbia: If a child doesn’t fear consequences, he doesn’t fear doing the wrong thing. If you suspend a player five times, by the third time, the word “suspension” may as well mean “vacation.”

There’s no way around the reality of five suspensions. I don’t care the degree of the offenses or the manner in the way each was addressed.

This is the quarterback of the team, the extension of the coach; the one player who simply can’t do what he wants when he wants. The team follows his lead.

Football Just Needs To Get Here Already

I'm sick and tired of this fucking heat already and June just started. I need my football fix and I need it fast god damnit. The NFL owners need to stop being greedy assholes and renew the collective bargaining agreement and end the lockout. Let free agency begin. Now. And the college football season most definitely needs to get here fast before some other program is thrown to the NCAA wolves. While I like talking about the controversies I also like talking and watching the pigskin. In the meantime while my ball sweat drips down to my taint and slowly nestles in my hairy a-hole I will force you people to look at these pictures of Holly Madison throwing a pigskin. I know I'm such an asshole. A sweaty one apparently.

Go Irish!

Terrelle Pryor Undecided About Supplemental Draft

Seriously how in the holy hell is Ohio State Quarterback Terrelle Pryor undecided about entering the NFL Supplemental Draft? Do they not give away free rides in the pros? Oh that is why...

Via Adam Rittenberg's College Football Nation Blog...

As of now, Pryor remains an Ohio State Buckeye and only faces a five-game suspension at the start of the 2011 season. But a new NCAA investigation into Pryor and his use of cars -- coupled with the news that Pryor has been driving on a suspended license -- leave many wondering whether the quarterback has played his last down at Ohio State.

Now comes this tidbit from Willie Burns, Pryor's godfather and legal guardian, who tells colleague Joe Schad that Pryor is undecided about whether to enter the NFL's supplemental draft.
"He makes up his mind in a minute," Burns told Schad. "He says no one minute and then he may go the next."

The supplemental draft will take place in July if any players apply (none currently have). But Burns' quote indicates Pryor is considering the draft as an option.

The quarterback likely would only be eligible for the supplemental draft if his eligibility status at Ohio State changes. I hope whatever happens with Pryor and the NCAA, a solution is reached in time for the quarterback to enter the supplemental draft if it's his best recourse.

Listen TP. Your college career is over. It's as suspended as your license. Do the people of Columbus a favor and just get the hell out. We all know you aren't there for the education. You want to play football right? Well then move to Canada.

84 Egg Sandwich - Epic Meal Time

Could you imagine if you watched this in Africa? I can only imagine the looks you would receive. "What are you looking at toothpick?"

Via SI Extra Mustard

West Virginia's Dana Holgorsen Likes To Party

You know what they say. It takes a drunk to know a drunk. Well I have had my Ph.D secured for over a decade now and I can damn well tell you that Dana Holgorsen, West Virginia's new offensive coordinator and head coach-in-waiting, is as big as a drunk as there is. And now officials at West Virginia are getting worried.

Holgorsen has reportedly been involved in at least three and, perhaps, as many as six alcohol-related incidents in the last six months, according to multiple sources with knowledge of the situation.

The first five were hushed up, but the sixth incident at Mardi Gras Casino in Cross Lanes on May 18 has blown the cover off Holgorsen's embarrassing antics. Nitro police were called to the casino at about 3:20 a.m. on May 18 to remove an apparently intoxicated customer who didn't want to leave. Holgorsen was asked to step outside, sit on a bench and await a taxi. No charges were filed.

West Virginia school president James Clements is apparently not much of a partier and has considered Holgorsen's alcoholism/having a good time/behaving like a drunk college coed are not qualities he would consider as an outstanding reputation amongst the Mountaineers faithful. He has called on Athletic director Oliver Luck (father of Stanford QB Andrew) to keep a tight leash on Holgorsen or Luck will lose his job. Hmm, you wouldn't hear about this happening in Columbus. So Holgorsen is cleaning up like all good drunks do right? Not exactly.

The Intelligencer/Wheeling News-Register reported Saturday that Holgorsen allegedly was asked to leave both a bar inside Oglebay Park and, later, at Wheeling Island Hotel, Casino and Racetrack earlier this year.

Sources say there was also an incident at Pete Dye Golf Club in Bridgeport, W.Va., which involved Holgerson being told to leave and not come back. And, then, there are rumors of three incidents at the Morgantown hotel in which he lives, including being banned from the hotel bar.

Dude, how do you get fucking banned from the hotel bar? Apparently Holgorsen is close to hitting rock bottom. Nothing says drunk asshole then "guy who is not allowed to drink at the hotel anymore" tagged on you.

So what do you take from this story? Holgerson likes to drink and gamble and get kicked out of casinos. I think I just found my new best friend.

Shaq Retired Today...What A Second, Shaq Was Still Playing?

I could have sworn Shaq retired like 4 seasons ago. I don't follow the NBA religiously because it gets in the way of my alcoholism but I thought Shaq was done when he left the Miami Heat. I just now realized he played on the Boston Celtics last year. Fuck I'm so out of it. Well after 19 seasons Shaq is hanging up his size 23 shoes (you remember the Reebok Pumps? I had a pair) and going off into the sunset. Actually the big guy is more apt at creating an eclipse but you get the point. So what is next for Shaq? I'm going to say reality star. The guy will appear on The Apprentice or whatever other reality show will pay for his appearance and show off his goofy ass smile. The big guy lives an extravagant lifestyle so I'm sure we will be hearing an Antoine Walker-like tale in a few years about how he lost all his Benjamins. Maybe he can tour with the Fu Schnikins? What's up Doc?

THE NEW VEST IN PEACE O$U JIM TRESSEL SHIRT

This is probably the greatest smack talk t-shirt of all-time. No kidding. We call it the "VEST IN PEACE" shirt and already shirts are selling in the hundreds. This shirt is already a classic and it's not even a couple of hours old.

The front of the shirt is a traditional sweatervest gravestone with "VEST IN PEACE LIAR LIAR VEST ON FIRE 2001-2011 COLUMBUS, OHIO" etched on it.

On the back of the shirt it says "Tressel DOTTING THE i IN LIAR O$U $UCKEYE$."

You can get your very own shirt by ordering here at SportsCrack.com

Also available in RED for all the Nebraska and Wisconsin Fans...

Take A Deep Breath: Blake Lively Nude Pictures Leaked

Some people remember exactly where they were when Kennedy was shot or when they lost their virginity. Today I will remember exactly where I was when Gossip Girl star and currently Leonard Dicaprio's latest notch on the belt Blake Lively's nude pictures leaked on the internet. Obviously these pictures are NSFW and obviously they are fucking awesome. Click on the pictures to get the uncensored versions. Welcome to the summer heat! USA! USA! USA!



Blake Lively NSFW Nude Shot
Blake Lively NSFW Nude Shot 2
Blake Lively NSFW Nude Shot 3

NBA Finals Prediction

Before the season started we all kind of knew the best team in the NBA would be the Miami Heat. Sure we hated the way they were assembled with Lebron James doing an ESPN Special for a hour while slowly tearing out the collective heart of Clevelanders. It was unnecessary but once Chris Bosh signed too we figured the Heat were the odds-on favorites to win the Title. What we didn't know was how much they would struggle against winning ballclubs during the regular season. Literally the Heat sucked against teams like the Lakers, Mavericks, Celtics, Magic, etc. But now they are playing their best basketball and have advanced rather easily to the NBA Finals.

With the Heat in the Finals there is little doubt in my mind they win this series versus the Dallas Mavericks.

Dirk Nowitzki has played incredible throughout the playoffs and pretty much has put Dallas on his German shoulders. But now we have reached the Finals and the Heat just have too much star power. You know Dwayne Wade is going to play like a NBA Finals MVP. You know Lebron is going to be hustling his ass off and will be lockdown on defense. And you know Chris Bosh will be the glue that gets some key rebounds and scores some big time baskets inside.

Tonight I will take Dallas beating the +4.5 as dogs on the road.

Prediction: Heat 97 Mavericks 94

In the series I got the Heat winning in 6. It pays out 5.5.

Rugby Fan Gone Topless

I'm intentionally avoiding the Atlanta Thrashers moving to Winnipeg story because honestly it just infuriates me too much so I figured I would post things that don't irritate me. Namely boobs. Oh yeah. Much better now.

Top 23 Air Jordans Presented By Playboy

I've never owned a pair of Air Jordan kicks. Now Playboys are a different story. What? I like the articles.

Softball? Not Exactly

I didn't even know this kind of shit was possible. Saturday's Baylor vs. Georgia softball game saw catcher Clare Hosack take one right off the face in the super regional game in Athens. It's not the first time a chick has taken one off the face in Athens. Zing!

Derek Dooley On The College Scandals

Tennessee Volunteers head football coach Derek Dooley was asked today by Clay Travis on what he tells his coaches about college scandals. His response was short but oh so sweet.

"If we get fired around here, it better be for losing ballgames."

It's Official: Terrelle Pryor Is Fucking Retarded

CREDIT: WBNS-TV COLUMBUS / DAN FRONCZAK by sportsxbrooks

This feels like one of those Saturday Night Live sketches. I mean REALLY? Your head coach just resigned because of issues with players getting cars and what do you show up in Terrelle Pryor? A fucking Nissan with dealer plates.

Smacks heads and laughs out loud. There is dumb. Then there is Terrelle Pryor dumb.

Buckeye Nation wants to put the blame on Roy Small for being a snitch. Well at least he doesn't flaunt it like Pryor does.

Video via SportsByBrooks

The Buckeyes Are Fucked

George Dohrmann's Sports Illustrated Investigation on the Ohio State Buckeyes football program was the final nail in the coffin for head coach Jim Tressel but it's really just the start of future sanctions.

For too long now Tressel has buried his head in the sand and let his players run amok with shady boosters, dirty tattoo parlors, and fast talking car salesmen while racking up the most important stat in college football: wins. In Dohrmann's article he reveals it was not just a few select players who bent the NCAA rules which Tressel and athletic director Gene Smith (who should also be fired) wanted everyone to believe. It was as much the players fault (at least 28 OSU players are alleged to have traded or sold memorabilia for either tattoos, money, cars or marijuana) as it was Tressel and the compliance office at Ohio State. It was a systematic disregard of the NCAA rules.

In four words: lack of institutional control.




The NCAA has already hammered USC for the Reggie Bush fiasco and stripped away the Heisman, National Championship, along with 30 scholarships and future bowl games. If Ohio State wants to avoid a stiffer penalty they need to stop pretending it never happened.

With Tressel's resignation it really is just the first domino to fall. Tressel is the first fall guy. Don't get me wrong the guy is a wolf dressed is a sweatervest hiding behind his "Christian" values shtick. But this goes to everyone around that football program. From the businesses to the boosters to the athletic director. The AD Smith should be fired or resign immediately. If Ohio State wants to save face and show they are not just another program gone rogue they need to clean house now. Not two months from now. Not a year from today. Right now.

The first order of business for Ohio State is a self imposed bowl suspension for at least this season. The Buckeyes already have 5 vital players suspended for the first 5 games of the season. Sure they could make a run for the Big Ten Championship but in all likelihood it will just be vacated later.

The second order of business is to suspend quarterback Terrelle Pryor for good. He should never wear a Buckeyes uniform again. Ever since his recruitment with his brand new Corvette Pryor has been pictured around campus driving at least 8 different cars with dealer tags on them. It's fairly obvious that Pryor has been taking handouts from anybody who offers. It's only a matter of time before the NCAA finds out Pryor has gotten Reggie Bush-like perks while in Columbus. If the Buckeyes want to wipe the slate clean they need to get rid of the shit.

The third order of business is to get a new compliance department. They haven't done their job. Plain and simple. It just amazes me how they couldn't know any of this stuff was happening especially when it involves your highest profile athletes and coach.

In conclusion if I were the Buckeyes and wanted to avoid any potential "death penalty" I would consider the 2011 season a probation season. If they self impose at least a one year postseason ban (no Big Ten Championship game or bowl game) and reduce scholarships by 15 over the next 3 years then I think they have a shot at getting past any possible future sanctions from the NCAA. But if they refuse to acknowledge the fact that they have continued to break NCAA rules and want to put all the blame on Tressel then they are going to get hammered by the NCAA.

Either way the Buckeyes football program is fucked in the short term. But if they have dreams of landing Urban Meyer in the future then 2011 needs to be a year of admitting your faults and sobering up while wiping the slate clean completely. Will it happen? Probably not. They are nuts after all up there.

Dick Move By Mike Bibby

I know in the grand scheme of things what Miami Heat's point guard Mike Bibby did isn't that big of a deal but it's still a dick move. You are a professional athlete. Act like one. Derrick Rose probably would have missed the free throw even without Bibby's throwing the towel because Rose is no Dirk.

I know Derrick Rose got the MVP and he had a tremendous regular season so I don't want to take anything away from that but he looked like shit this entire playoffs. Sure he has some brilliant plays and dunks but his shooting was terrible. I wouldn't even put him in the Allen Iverson class yet. At least Iverson could shoot 50% and hit his free throws. If Rose had a good series vs. the Heat then there is little doubt in my head the Bulls are in the Finals.

By the way I would love to see Bibby pulls this shit in Dallas with Dirk at the line. I can already see Mark Cuban clothes lining the asshole.

Nice Set of Melons Hillary Duff

Hillary Duff was showing off her Sobe melons at some stupid challenge thing a ma jig in New York City. Seriously what the fuck is Sobe? Is it one of those dumb tea drinks? I fucking hate tea. I'd rather drink water from the men's urinal then have tea. It's fucking leaf water. Disgusting.

Scale of 1-to-10 about how dirty Hillary Duff is in the sack. I'm going to go 8.5. She has to be pretty freaky to stay married to a professional athlete.

Buster Posey Suffers Broken Leg And Ligament Damage, Cue Overreacting SportsWriters With New Rules

Last night in the top of the 12th inning in a tie ball game between the Giants and the Marlins with one out and runners on the corners the Marlins Emilio Bonifacio hit a lazy fly ball to shallow right center field. The Marlins Scott Cousins was tagging at third and came barreling down on Giants catcher Buster Posey trying to knock the ball loose for what would be the winning go-ahead run.

As you can see the ball never stuck in Posey's mitt and in the process Buster got taken out while his left ankle/leg snapped during the collision with Cousins. Immediately you could tell something was wrong. Posey was in sheer pain. Not only did he break his leg but he also tore some ligaments around his left ankle. Essentially the Giant's lost their most valuable player for the season. The reigning Rookie of the Year who bats cleanup for the defending World Series Champions. It's a huge blow no doubt and there is a chance we never see Posey behind the dish ever. But can we please stop sportswriters from trying to put the blame on a clean play. Cue Rob Neyer...

It should be considered a dirty play, though.

And I'm not the only one. From one Buster this morning, we have a perfectly reasonable reaction from another Buster's agent:

Posey's agent, Jeff Berry, said Thursday morning he is going to reach out to Joe Torre, leader of on-field operations for Major League Baseball, and raise the idea of changing the rules regarding plays at the plate.

Over time, it is has become accepted practice for catchers to block home plate, and for baserunners to launch themselves into catchers.

"You leave players way too vulnerable," Berry said. "I can tell you Major League Baseball is less than it was before [Posey's injury]. It's stupid. I don't know if this ends up leading to a rule change, but it should. The guy [at the plate] is too exposed.

"If you go helmet to helmet in the NFL, it's a $100,000 fine, but in baseball, you have a situation in which runners are [slamming into] fielders. It's brutal. It's borderline shocking. It just stinks for baseball. I'm going to call Major League Baseball and put this on the radar. Because it's just wrong."

Of course it's wrong. Baseball was not designed, and is not best played, as a contact sport.

Neyer cites what Posey's agent thinks about the play and I don't understand what the point is. Berry of course is going to have a strong opinion against catchers being taken out because he just saw his number one client and a potential huge commission check literally break in half as soon as Posey's leg crumpled underneath him. It sucks but it's part of the game and again it was a clean play by Cousins.

Baseball for the most part is not a contact sport. But there is always a risk when you put on the catcher's gear. It's not for the faint of heart. Posey knew the risk of choosing his path as a backstop. Catchers take a beating every night. But to ask MLB to change the rules because somebody got hurt is dumb. I take it the next time a player gets injured while being taken out at second base trying to break up the double play then we should change the rules according to Neyer? How about we don't allow pitchers to hit batters anymore because of potential risk?

There is no way MLB will give Neyer's argument the time of day. At least I hope so.

South Park Has A Little Something For The "Non-Profit" NCAA

Last night's South Park was pure brilliance. You have Cartman starting a Crack Baby Athletic Association in which him and Kyle make money off the crack babies but don't pay them. They get a deal with EA Sports to use the images and likenesses of the crack babies. Again they don't have to give anything back to the crack babies except for the opportunity to play in the league. Sound familiar? Cartman starts to refer to his "student-athletes" as slaves in a hysterical plantation owner's Louisiana accent while in a meeting with the University of Colorado President.


Are you a recruiting nut like myself? Well Cartman and Butters turn into full blown recruiters for unborn crack babies. "I can not offer you any cash...I can offer you though some crack!" Sounds like what coaches offer recruits. We will give you Nike clothing and cars but no money. It's unethical.

Crack Baby Athletic Association
Tags: SOUTH
PARKEric Cartman,Kyle Broflovski,more...

In the end the South Park kids get screwed over by EA Sports, a major corporation who makes hundreds of millions off of the "student-athletes" while the slaves get nothing. Chances of EA Sports suing South Park for slander after seeing this clip? I'm going to say 90%. Fucking lawyers.

Crack Baby Athletic Association
Tags: SOUTH
PARKEric Cartman,Kyle Broflovski,more...

Big ass hat tip to Trey Parker and Matt Stone for tackling the NCAA issues.


You can watch the full episode here.

USC Trojans Denied Appeal By The NCAA

The dirty filthy Trojans of USC were hoping to get off sanctions with an appeal to the NCAA. Well those dickheads found out today that their appeal has been denied. USC will be on probation and will still lose 30 football scholarships plus they can't play in a bowl game according to USCFootball.com.

Wednesday, according to multiple sources inside and outside the university, the final decision of the NCAA's Infractions Appeals Committee was in hand and being reviewed by USC before its Thursday release by the NCAA.

And it's not good news for USC football.

Despite speculation and media reports that there might be a willingness on the part of the NCAA to listen favorably to a USC appeal that had asked that the 30 scholarships lost over three years with a maximum of 75 allowed and a two-year postseason bowl ban be cut in half, USCFootball.com's sources indicate that USC's appeal has been denied completely.

The Trojans football team will be allowed to sign no more than 15 players to scholarships for the next three seasons (against a top limit of 25 for schools not under sanction).

And of even more immediate impact, USC would not be able to compete for the first-ever Pac-12 championship or appear in the first-ever postseason championship game in 2011 as well.

Of further concern, the NCAA's unprecedented additional sanction allowing players affected by the postseason ban this year to immediately transfer to another institution without sitting out a season would still be in play for this year's seniors.

It's a good thing head coach Lane Kiffin keeps selling recruits his blatant lies about the sanctions being removed. With USC football being irrelevant for the next 5 or so years (one could argue it was irrelevant as soon as they hired Kiffin) it will be interesting to see how the power shifts west of the Mississippi River. We all know Texas was down last season and Oklahoma plays like shit in the BCS Bowls for the most part so is this the opportunity for a school like Oregon to take full advantage of USC's plight and start dominating the West Coast? I think so. They already stole 5 star recruit and admitted USC fan De'Anthony Thomas from the Trojan's backyard last season. Oregon is the new USC.

Suck it Trojans!

It's So Hard To Say Good Bye To Oprah Winfrey

I can just see it now. Tate Forcier wondering who Oprah Winfrey is. Come to think of it maybe I wish I was as dumb as Forcier.

Tate Forcier Obviously Is Geographically Illiterate

Now we know why Tate Forcier flunked out of Michigan last season. The sophomore who started all 12 games for the Wolverines during his freshman season but saw limited time as a sophomore thanks to Shoelace transferred from Michigan and was supposedly headed to Miami. That is before he looked at a map and realized "Da U" is on the exact opposite coast of where he would like to be playing. There is no reason for me to explain any further. Here is what the "student" athlete had to say in regards to his transfer....

"I just didn't feel comfortable and wanted to be closer to home," Forcier said. "Miami is completely on the other side of the country. It would have been fun playing there. But I just wanted to be closer so my parents can afford to come to the games."

Ok that would make sense. He wants to be close to family and it had nothing to do with playing time or not getting along with new Miami head coach Al Golden who doesn't put up with me-first attitudes. It's all about geography and being close to California. So what school is he looking at now you ask?

"I'm looking into Auburn," Forcier said.

Seriously? How did this 'tard ever qualify to play at Michigan? Last time I checked Auburn was in Alabama. It's not exactly a short car ride away from California. You never go full retard Tate. Never.

WTF is Ray Lewis talking about?

Now I'm definitely convinced he killed those guys in Buckhead. If anyone wants to know what the rapture looks like then just stare in Lewis' eyes for a moment. The greatest middle linebacker to ever play in the NFL thinks in all honesty the lockout is going to lead to an increase in crime. What the fuck is he talking about? Personally I don't agree with him. Now would I say that to his face? Hell no! I value my life.

In conclusion Ray Lewis is a bat shit crazy dude who is bound to go on a crime spree if the NFL Lockout doesn't end. Your move owners.

Kim Kardashian is engaged to Nets Forward Kris Humphries

Who the fuck is Kris Humphries? Apparently he plays for the New Jersey Nets and is engaged to Kim Kardashian. That's who. The reality star who is famous for her sex tape with Ray J (NSFW link) and who dated Reggie Bush before meeting Humphries is now engaged to some guy I had never heard of before today. They have only been dating for six months and he is about two feet taller than she is. It should work out well between these two lovebirds. She got the athlete and he doesn't need to worry about spreading any NBA STD's since Kim already has them. Just another fairy tale story.

Barry Bonds Is Actually A Good Guy

Forget about the smug attitude. Forget about the huge head that orbits our Earth which was caused by cow steroids. Forget about the surliness and the fact that most of his teammates couldn't stand him let alone the general public. Forget about all that because...wait for it...Barry Bonds is actually a good guy.

Bonds has agreed to pay for the college educations of the two young children of San Francisco Giants fan Bryan Stow, the single father who was beaten into a coma at Dodgers Chavez Ravine Stadium after Opening Night. Yes sir, Bonds, despite all his legal troubles is willing to stick his own neck out for two kids he doesn't even know.

Well, here's a move that both sides should finally be able to agree on: Bonds has pledged to pay any future college bills for the two grade-school age children of Bryan Stow, the single father and San Francisco Giants fan who was beaten into a coma by two men after attending the opening night game at Dodger Stadium on March 31.
That little heartwarming nugget was revealed by Stow's attorney Thomas Girardi — and first reported by NBC Bay Area — as he announced a lawsuit against the Los Angeles Dodgers on Tuesday for allegedly providing inadequate security at the stadium that night.
Girardi said that donations already made by generous fans of the Giants, Dodgers and other teams will be passed onto other charities if their lawsuit is successful. But the hefty gift from Bonds? Well, that means so much to Stow's family that it's the one they definitely plan on keeping.
One of the coolest parts about this donation is that Bonds made it over a month ago when he visited Stow in a southern California hospital on April 22. No mention was made to the media then and it looks like it would have still been a secret had Girardi not revealed it to the media. Even if you've always been a Bonds hater, there's no way you can say this wasn't done for all the right reasons.

I'm as big of a Bonds hater as anybody but even this story made me change my view on the embattled slugger. I'm still not giving him a pass for juicing and I'm certainly not endorsing him for Cooperstown but I am endorsing him as a good human being. Bonds didn't have to do anything for Stow and his children. He didn't even want the media coverage. But he got both done and I say bravo to Bonds. You earned a tip of the hat from SportsCrack today.

The Navy Seal Who Killed Osama Bin Laden Has Been Revealed

The Navy Seal Who Killed Osama Bin Laden from Rob Riggle

It's about fucking time we found out who the Navy Seal was. An American Hero? Fuck yeah.

TONIGHT'S NBA LOCK!

Everybody, and I mean everybody in the free world is jumping all over the Heat's nuts these days. Yes it is true the Heat have come back and won games 2 and 3 in very impressive fashion to steal away the Bull's home court advantage. But those two games don't mean shit when looking at game 4. The Bulls basically have their collective backs to the wall. They know if they don't win tonight in Miami the series is for all intended purposes over. Win tonight and the series is tied 2-2. I could see Miami being a 3 point favorite but right now 5 is just too much. I think Derrick Rose shows why he was the MVP and outplays Wade, Lebron, and Bosh all by himself. I not only like the Bulls to beat the spread but also win outright. Get to your bookie now and lay everything down on the Bulls. You can thank me tomorrow morning.

Prediction: Bulls 89 Heat 86 (Bulls +5)

Randy "Macho Man" Savage as a baseball player

Many people didn't realize WWF legend Randy "Macho Man" Savage was a minor leaguer before getting into the ring. Like myself growing up Randy dreamed of one day playing Major League Baseball. SI.com's Jeff Pearlman has a great article on the Macho Man and his baseball playing career. He never quite made it to the Show but it's funny to see him in the above picture as a member of the St. Louis Cardinals organization as a catcher. Later on he would be a little more clean cut with the Reds organization. I think he made the right career choice in wrestling after baseball fizzled out. OH YEAH!



Via BigLeadSports

Dan Adler pulls a Rudy reference

Dan Adler is a sneaky son of a bitch. He knows how the movie score of Rudy pulls the heart strings alone but no, he has to go out and get Sean Astin himself to play the Rock role. Game. Set. Match. Adler has already won a seat in Congress. Book that shit. Californians voted The Sperminator in office for God's sake.

Plus Dan Adler gets shit done!

Bikini Contest Fail

Graceful like a swan covered in oil.

Pinata Fail

See what happens when you make racial jokes in grammar school? Oh yeah I'm sure it was just an "accident." He just happened to let the stick slip out of his hand. I'm sure this kid will stop calling him "Toby" from now on.

What the fuck is that? Oh...just another Man-Child

Seriously what the fuck is that? It's like a giant baby freak. I'm almost positive Dick Vitale is a Tampa Bay Rays fan so there is no way it's him. Some people are scared of the dark and some are scared of death but holy shit I've got a brand new fear: Man Child.

Oh and if that's a mask it's the best one ever. It's too life-like. It's a good thing I'm writing this blog on the can because this guy literally just scared the shit out of me.

Kyle Singler Trick Shot Video

Now I am just getting sick of these trick shot videos. Maybe it's just because it's a Duke player and it's the one guy who looks like he could be a James Bond villian. I will give Kyle Singler some credit though. The jumping off the Olympic diving board and sinking one was pretty cool but the one off the top of the church is pretty incredible. I'm sure it took a shitload of misses before sinking one. Probably not nearly as many flops as he took in college. Anyways, fuck Duke!

Joakim Noah loses it, screams F*ck you F*ggot to Miami Heat fan

Talk about losing a series in three words. The Bulls are crumpling faster than origami and Joakim Noah is leading the charge. Well actually Derrick Rose has been anything but a MVP in this series so far. But it still doesn't excuse Noah from shouting out "Fuck you Faggot!" to a Miami Heat fan. Kobe Bryant had to pay a hefty fine for shouting it at an official. One can only imagine the fine will be much steeper for Noah considering he is yelling at a fan and it's in the Eastern Conference Finals.

Tom Brady loves his water slides

Come on Tom Brady. You are 3-time Super Bowl Champion QB and married to a fucking supermodel. Will you please act like one? I don't even need audio here to imagine what you sound like going down this water slide in Mexico. You remember Chris Tucker's character in The Fifth Element? If not then here is a refreshment for your bong and hops filled head.



Via ONTD

Three Way The Golden Rule by Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg

God I love these Color Me Badd-like sketches from SNL's Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake. "Dick in the Box" was a classic. It still makes me laugh out loud. Now they got a "Three Way" going with Lady Gaga. Fucking brilliant. I still won't watch SNL since it's oh about 15 years past it's prime but if they keep producing these Digital Shorts with Timberlake I might have to change my mind.

Your Mom says hi! Jinx!

Cam Newton is a Justin Bieber fan

This is the moment where I changed my mind about Cam Newton. I've gone on record saying big Cam will be a collassal bust in the NFL. It's not necessarily his fault. The team that drafted him is in shambles and he doesn't have much for weapons. Take a look at what happened to Jimmy Clausen last season and Cam doesn't have Jimmy's accuracy. But now after seeing Cam sing Bieber's Baby Baby song I'm all in. Anybody that has the cojones to sing that shit out loud isn't afraid of anything.

Via It's Always Sunny in Detroit

R.I.P. RANDY MACHO MAN SAVAGE

The World lost a brilliant entertainer today with the news that WWF legend Randy "Macho Man" Savage died in a car accident. Macho Man was right up there with Hulk Hogan, Sergeant Slaughter, Sting, Andre The Giant, Ultimate Warrior, and Rowdy Roddy Piper as my favorite wrestler back in the 80's. He became a brand with the Snap into a Slim Jim commercials and his "OOOOOOHHHHHH YYYEEEEAAAAHHHH!!!!"

I will have to pour one out tonight for the Macho Man. And yes I will be betting and rooting for Mucho Macho Man at tomorrow's Preakness Stakes. It got to be that horses destiny to win before the Rapture.

THE MCCLUTCH SHIRT

This new shirt may look a little familiar. In honor of the past time's current best clutch hitter we decided to make a shirt and call it "McClutch." This is the kind of shirt that will no doubt get you laid at The Ted. I'm serious. Not even the best roofies will be any match for the McClutch shirt. Girls will literally drop their panties in the the presence of McClutch. If you don't believe me then you have to see it for yourself and order one. For the low price of $17 you can be McClutch.

The McClutch Shirt order here!

Andre Ethier with the ole double bird salute

You gotta just love baseball players. You would think they would learn something from the recent Roger McDowell gay slur and bat gesture in San Francisco but apparently Los Angeles Dodger outfielder Andre Ethier didn't get the memo. Here you can see him giving the old #1 salute to a group of photographers at Chavez Ravine. Apparently MLB will investigate the matter. When asked for comment Bud Selig mumbled "Who's Andre Ethier?"

Dick Joke

A dick has a sad life: His hair is a mess, his neighbor's an asshole, his family is nuts, his bestfriend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.

Vancouver hockey fan flashes Ben Eager

Now that is what you call some good ole' Canadian fun...bags. San Jose Shark's left winger Ben Eager was just minding his own business in the penalty box at Rogers Arena when some young blonde in her Henrik Sedin Canucks jersey decided to flash him. Not only did she win for showing off her Canadian sweater puppets but the Sedin twins combined for two goals in an easy 7-3 victory to give themselves a 2-0 series lead. Winning.

Video via BigLeadSports