Kirk Herbstreit Shits Himself On Live TV During Mini Earthquake

All you have to do is look into Herbie's eyes at the 10 second mark. Bam. He just shit himself. A modest 5.6 earthquake was reported in Stillwater, OK at the time when Herbie was reporting for ESPN from the Okie State-Kansas State game when you can see his eyes completely bug out while he tries to remain calm with Hershey squirts.

But Herbie the professional he is goes on to report while remaining calm, cool, and somewhat collected while not knowing what the hell just happened. Don't get me wrong I would have been screaming like a little girl with tears flowing pleading to call my wife and kid to Chris Fowler before the whole stadium collapsed. I've never experienced an earthquake so I can only imagine the fear. But now I know what it is like to see Herbie shit his pants. Another check on the bucket list.

Vinnie Verno with his Alabama-LSU Lock of the Year

Bama -5 over LSU
Stanford -21 over Oregon State
Northwestern +17 over Nebraska
Arkansas State -17 over Florida Atlantic
Vanderbilt +13 over Florida

Leave it to Vinnie to make an Andrew Luck neck beard joke, a weekend at Bernies joke, and a Humpty Humpty dance joke all roll into one hilarious group of picks for this week. I hope people realize that Les Miles isn't really an idiot who eats grass on gamedays. Miles is just playing everybody for the fool when they think he is just some dumb shit on the sidelines when in fact he is a defcom missile ready to blow up Nick Saban and the Tide this Saturday in Tuscaloosa. Trust me it's going to happen. LSU will win.

Why you ask? Because before the season I took LSU to win the SEC and so far they have played one of the toughest schedules in the nation and have destroyed everybody in their path. Everyfuckingbody. LSU isn't afraid of Bama and can anyone remember the last time LSU lost a night game? I think it's been like 500 years. Take LSU. Do it.

A Behind The Scenes Look Into Notre Dame Football Includes Victory Crab Legs

I think I may want to change my thinking about college football players getting paid. Well at least at Notre Dame.

Holy shit these guys at Notre Dame have the life! Video games, massage tables, ping pong, and food for days including victory crab legs. Yeah I can see why Notre Dame does so well in recruiting even when they aren't meeting expectations on the field. With tuition, room and board, free clothes, and all the state of the art facilities and athletic trainers available Notre Dame football players are getting at least $100,000 a year in free perks to play football in college.

If I'm Keith Marshall, Gunner Kiel, Shaq Thompson and Arik Armstead I've already made up my mind after visiting the "Gug" and seeing how well the players are treated and trained. If I'm not being blunt enough I'm basically shouting "GO TO ND WHERE YOU WILL GET A DEGREE AND LIVE LIKE KINGS FOR THE NEXT FOUR YEARS!" There is that good enough?

Now I know why they call it the World's Largest "Cock"tail Party

Good for UGA finally beating a shitty Florida Gaytors team but what the hell is up with all the dugan aka sausage aka cock swinging around? I've never been to Jacksonville for the game but I've heard nothing but crazy stories and good times and these come from Georgia fans who usually come home with a loss. All I see is a bunch of frat boys barely clothed jerking off on each other. I'm severely disappointed. At least up in Athens you can see plenty of girls. Isn't the whole point of college is to get laid and spread STD's? I felt like I was hanging out in Rehoboth Beach watching this shitfest.

But anyways congrats to Georgia for getting a much needed victory over their rival. Next time guys try to bring some females down with you on the trip. And why did I not see any of these Gaytors shirts in the crowd?




Video via BarstoolSports

Kate Upton's Latest SI Pictures From Philippines

Those are the gifts that just keep on giving. If you are stealth-like just stop the video intermittently when she is wearing the fishnet top.

Hey Bud I Got You A Frosty One

FFFFUUUUCCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!



I can't believe I spilt my Molson eh!

Via Hot Clicks

Best Halloween Costume Goes to the Top Gun Babies

Goose and Maverick to the fucking tee. These twins even got Anthony Edwards Goose fading hair line and Tom Cruise Maverick ""I feel the need...The need for speed!" attitude. I think we found the parents of the year by the way. Just all around top notch game here.

You know you are getting old when college kids have no fucking clue who Goose and Maverick are. It kinda pisses me off when I have to explain the movie Top Gun. It should be required viewing in elementary school.

Henrik Eriksson Celebrates Hockey Goals by Hugging the Opponent

If you needed further proof that the European hockey players are soft all you have to do is take a look at this celebration by Henrik Eriksson in Sweden. Not only does Eriksson have the cajones to hug Alen Bibic right in front of the goalie he just scored on but then Bibic gives a half ass punch. I mean come on Bibic. Deck his ass. Your lucky he didn't kiss you after that pansy ass punch.

Via PuckDaddy

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

More NFL cheerleading pics at Guyism.com

WE WILL SEE YOU TOMORROW NIGHT FLASHBACKS WITH THE BUCKS

What a game. What a series. And yes. We will see you tomorrow night. Damn you Kirby Puckett and Ryan Freese.

Philanthropy with Vinnie Verno: Week 9 Picks

South Carolina -4 over Tennessee I MISS PHIL FULMER GAME
Cal -6 over UCLA LAME DUCK GAME OF THE YEAR
A&M -11.5 over Missouri SORORITY GIRLS ARE CLASSY GAME
Wisconsin -7 over Ohio State DIABOLICAL TOMBSTONE GAME OF THE YEAR
Okie State -14 over Baylor TEACH ME HOW TO GUNDY GAME OF THE YEAR

When Vinnie Verno first graced us with his all knowing presence this year I thought he was hilarious but I had fears he would be a flash in a pan. I couldn't see his humor keeping up every week with the grind that is the football season. But I was wrong. Dead wrong. And like the show Workaholics Vinnie gets better with age. Every week he brings a new angle. This week it was Halloween. He farts. He laughs hysterically. He brings in clips of labradors fucking old ladies. Vinnie is the man.

Aaron Taylor Lays Into Notre Dame And Is Right

As some of you may know I was up at Notre Dame last week to watch what was once a great rivalry versus USC turn into yet another major disappointment for the Fighting Irish. Actually I'll just call them ND because right now they don't deserve the "Fighting Irish" nickname.

To say I was disgusted by their performance would be an understatement. To say I was shocked by the outcome would by a total misnomer. Notre Dame hasn't been Notre Dame for a long time. They've gone through 3 coaches (well 4 if you count George O'Leary) since Lou Holtz was forced out and haven't been a National Championship contender since 1993. In fact they have only finished in the top 25 5 times since that season. They have yet to win a BCS game and the 3 years they made it they got relatively blown out. And yet almost every year you can look at their schedule and their talent (which is debatable) and say they should be a top 15-20 every season. But the sad part is they get crushed by teams like Navy and Stanford who hold the same exact academic rigors to get in and stay in school but have a sliver of the overall talent that permeates the Notre Dame roster.

So why does Notre Dame continue to lose when they have more talent, better facilities, more exposure, and greater fan support than those other schools? The common denominator for most fans is the head coach. Or the defensive coordinator. Or the athletic director. But hardly anyone wants to say the players. And you know what they are the most accountable for their 4-3 record right now.

I know I'm probably wrong but the only person I sense actually gives a shit about winning on Notre Dame is the head coach Brian Kelly and the other coaches. They are the ones screaming until their faces turn Cherry Coke red and trying to get their players to focus and play with a purpose. The problem is the players treat the game like they have already lost. They don't come out wanting to punish the other guy lining up opposite in the disgusting cardinal and gold. At some point playing at Notre Dame has become a sense of entitlement. Sure you have occasional guys like Brady Quinn, Trevor Laws and others who will go above and beyond to make themselves the absolute best they can be but I don't sense it with most of this team.

There is no reason Notre Dame should have lost to South Florida and Michigan to open the season. They should have crushed both of them and if it weren't for the lack of details (turnovers and accountabiiity) and leadership they would have won by 3 TD's minimum in those games. Like Aaron Taylor pointed out the senior leadership is nonexistent. The seniors should he held accountable for the 4-3 record and not Kelly. They were the #1 class coming out of high school. Not Stanford. Not LSU. Not even the mighty Trojans. Notre Dame has the #1 senior class according to the recruiting pundits at the time and yet they got two shitty bowl wins and no top 25 finishes. It's pathetic. Kelly just didn't come to Notre Dame and forget how to coach after being a perennial head coach winner for the past 20 years.

At some point players like Michael Floyd, Harrison Smith, Trevor Robinson, Ethan Johnson, Gary Gray and etc. need to step up and say we are not going down like bitches. We are not going to fumble the ball at the 1 yard line or go for the pump fake for the millionth time. It's all on the players now. And if they don't want to step up and show a little pride and fight for everything they get then they don't need to play.

For me personally I will always love Notre Dame. I grew up with it. I love what Notre Dame stands for along with the traditions and the fact that they graduate players. But at some point Notre Dame has to stop being the nice guy who accepts he won't fuck the prom queen and instead go out and nail every single prom queen in his county. In other words Notre Dame has to stop being a bunch of pussies who hold hands and sing the other teams fight song/alma mater and takes chop blocks and start fighting for the right to party after a victory. Notre Dame has to stop being the punchline to every college football joke and instead deliver every single KO punch come fall Saturday.

Now go out there and kick the living shit out of Navy.

Sincerely,

Every single Notre Dame fan

Yankees Fan Benjy Bronk Upstages CNN Reporter Report on Steve Jobs Biography

Benjy Bronk from the Howard Stern Show managed to get another laugh out of me with his ridiculous antics in front of a CNN reporter yesterday. Like a true Yankees fan he just doesn't know when to shut his mouth. You may remember the Howard Stern lead writer upstaging Anthony Weiner during his resignation with screams of "Bye Bye Pervert!"

By the way do people still pay to listen to Howard Stern talk on the radio? It just seems odd to pay for something that should be free. It's on par with paying for ketchup packets.

Tim Tebow and Demaryius Thomas Are Close Teammates

If you ever had questions about how close of a clubhouse the Denver Broncos had then I think this kiss sealed it for most of you. I'm not about to judge but I've been playing sports all my life and I can't remember one time when I wanted to make out with one of my male "teammates" after a "come from behind" win. Now if you want to talk about a loss then that is completely different.

You are totally vulnerable and it's not gay at all.

Right?

Guys where are you going?

HT: Rob

Notre Dame Has New Helmets

Notre Dame introduced new helmets yesterday with a new "Gold Standard" that has a reflective gold that is closer to the color of the famous Golden Dome. As you can see in the picture above the new helmet on the left looks much better than the old ones on the right which were more mustard color. Unfortunately with the new helmets the tradition of the student managers spraying the helmets before every game is no longer needed. Oh well. These helmets are absolutely incredible looking and should look stand out "Under the Lights" when Notre Dame comes out of the tunnel Saturday night to play USC.

Now if Notre Dame can just get that jumbotron with Rockne Vision installed they will make what is already a perfect gameday atmosphere even better.

Family Feud Gets Raunchy

Hey the Pastor's wife is going for the money so cum sounds like the perfect answer. You can't tell me it's not up in the top 7 things you put in your mouth but don't swallow. Come on Family Feud! By the way I shared a craps table once with Steve Harvey and his "entourage" at the Bellagio in Vegas. It wasn't a high rollers table or anything but you should have seen the way he was dressed and the way he acted. He literally was dressed like a pimp (top hat and shit you not he was in full suit and had a cane) and granted he's not a huge celebrity or anything but he would not acknowledge anybody else at the craps table. He had that "I'm better than you so I'm not going to talk to you" attitude. Essentially it will be the same attitude I'll be sporting this week up at Notre Dame whenever I run into a USC fan. Because seriously fuck those peasants.

Jadeveon Clowney does his best Waterboy impersonation

That boy must drink some high quality H2O. I don't know who I feel worse for on the Mississippi State team. The left tackle who got crossed up and never had a chance to lay a hand on Clowney? Or what about the runningback who tries to step up and block the manchild only to get blown up? Also an argument could be made for the quarterback who gets stripped. Clowney has to be the freshman defensive player of the year.

Offensively there is no question who the best freshman is. He too plays in the Palmetto State. Sammy Watkins of Clemson only put up about 350 total yards against Maryland Saturday night. Watkins is scary good.

Jim Harbaugh Doesn't Have Time For Jim Schwartz' Handshake

I got no pony in this fight but doesn't Detroit Lion's head coach Jim Schwartz look like a total dipshit trying to track down 49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh and fight him? I mean come on Schwartz...who you fooling? You are not going to fight Harbaugh. Listen I'm not the biggest fan of Harbaugh since his Stanford team beat Notre Dame the past two seasons but the guy has passion and when you go in for a handshake after an emotional, hard fought win wouldn't you expect a hard handshake with a pat to the back? It just comes with the territory. The Detroit Lions are finally moving in the right direction with a team that is loaded with Megatron and House Of Spears dominating but now I'm afraid you got an idiot head coach who could ruin it all. Schwartz you are the coach. Not the player. Know your role boy.

Tyrann "Honey Badger" Mathieu Video

Thanks for the treat stupid! Honey Badger don't give a shit! He takes what he wants!

Vinnie Verno Occupies Vegas with his Week 7 No Hippies Lock

Alabama -25 over Ole Miss - The Old Elephant Crap Game of the Year
Oklahoma State -7.5 over Texas - The Longhorns Suck Game of the Year
Hawaii -6.5 over San Jose State - The Hawaiian Massacre Part 3 Game of the Year
Toledo -7 over Bowling Green - The Life Savings Game of the Year
Utah State -3.5 over Fresno - The NBA Lockout Schmock Out Game of the Year

Vinnie has 5 blood baths with 5 massacres that will occupy Las Vegas with these picks. Bama and Okie State should shit all over their conference opponents this week. At this point the best teams have to run up the scores to get the voters attention. I've already lost money on Hawaii and Toledo so I'm not touching that shit with Ashton Kutcher's rawdogging cock. The final pick sounds right. Utah State is good and Fresno is fucking terrible. It won't save the NBA but honestly who gives a shit about the NBA?